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Sitting Behind You

Chapter 92: 8/30 - Crypts & Creatures Pt 2

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

8/30 TUESDAY

 

The depths of the winding tunnels were dark. The walls and floor were made of time-worn brickwork interlocked into a cylindrical passage of a ten-foot diameter. The air was stale, thick with the stench of decay, and there was no natural light to be found. 

The sound of chalk being dragged against aged clay echoed through the halls as Joker marked an arrow pointing in the direction they had just come from on a brick underfoot in the center of a four-way intersection they had arrived in. 

Breaking through the darkness, Skull struck a torch and shone it down the darkened corridors that lay before them. "Dark down here."

"Can anyone even see the entrance anymore?" Panther asked, her flowing golden hair refracting the torchlight.

"I have dark vision," Inari Bento noted out loud. Since this didn't really answer the question, he was ignored.

"I don't think anyone can, but we know it's the way we came from. Joker has the right idea to leave a mark in case we get turned around down here," Queen commented. "I think if we're going to defeat this 'monster' we're after, we'll need to keep going deeper."

A quiet cackle came from the shortest person in the group, Ababila. "You've got the right idea, Queen. Within the deepest part of this wretched dungeon."

"Well, we're not going to get anywhere if we keep standing around! Let's keep going!" Beauty Thief chimed in.

"Mrowr!" Mona-chan, the cat familiar, seemed to echo Beauty Thief's sentiment.

"Mona-chan echos your sentiment," Inari Bento translated for the small feline.

The familiar hissed at the tiefling, the hair on his back stood up and his tail became a puffy mess.

The hollow, uneven clatter of something pattering across the floor echoed through the darkness up ahead, drawing nearer with each passing second.

"Something must be coming this way," Joker announced to the rest of the group.

"He's right," Ababila nodded. "You all should find somewhere to hide."

"Where?" Skull glanced around the empty tunnel. "We're in a totally empty hallway!"

"There are several crates stacked up several feet tall, about twenty-five feet that way." The goblin pointed to a pile of dusty containers that sat about five feet to the side of the tunnel.

"Those were not there a few seconds ago." Panther pointed out the truth.

"They absolutely were. There's also a portion of the wall that's collapsed into a small cavern big enough to fit four people. It's right... here." The small goblin shuffled over to the nearby wall and pushed against it with one hand. It immediately gave way to reveal a claustrophobic-looking crevice that could probably fit four people.

"Pretty suspicious that this goblin we've got guiding us through a dark dungeon just happens to know where a secret room is." Panther narrowed her eyes on the goblin.

"Careful now, girl. I enjoy you, but be careful," Ababila cockily chided the elf. "It's where I stashed my loot last time before the monster that haunts these halls drove me out of here."

"Yeah, I bet." Panther rolled her eyes.

"Look, are you going to hide in the secret room or not?" The goblin questioned the group.

"You stated that on your previous excursion in this oubliette, you had concealed treasure here?" Inari Bento's eyes gleamed at the mention of treasure. "What is this venerable fortune you have cached?"

"Maow!" Mona-chan's eyes twinkled in the torchlight as he strode towards the opening in the wall and peered in.

"Mona-chan is curious as well."

"Thanks, I couldn't tell," Ababila responded sarcastically. "Look, there's no time for this. Something is coming down the hall towards us all. Are you going to hide or not?"

"So it's big enough to safely hide four people?" Queen walked up to it, inspecting carefully as if anything could really be deemed ‘safe’ in this dungeon. "None of us will have to squeeze to fit?"

"Yes!" The exasperated goblin sounded like she couldn't take it anymore.

"Then we should definitely hide! Half of us in there, the other half behind the crates!" The massive Beauty Thief spoke up.

"Thank you!" Ababila huffed. "Okay, Joker, Queen, myself, and Inari will hide in the secret room. Everyone else-"

"I am going to take Ababila's treasure she has hidden here," Inari Bento interrupted.

"Give me a dexterity save, Inari," Futaba scowled at the artist.

"Pardon me?" Yusuke raised his eyebrows as he fluttered his eyelashes at the Crypt Master.

"A dex save. It's right there on your canvas." She pointed a finger at the canvas in front of Yusuke. "Roll a twenty-sided die and add the number next to your saving throw modifier."

Yusuke picked up the pale blue D20 in front of him and gently rolled it from his palm onto the table. As the dice came to a halt, he consulted the canvas with his character statistics. "After adding my dexterity save modifier, the result is a six."

"A rock falls from the ceiling and crushes Inari Bento."

"WHAT!" Ryuji shouted as he slammed the table hard enough with his hands to knock over several of the miniatures on the mat Futaba had laid out.

"Ryuji, volume!" Ann exclaimed almost as loud, gently grasping her boyfriend's arm before anyone else could lecture him.

"Oh, right. Sorry, everybody." Ryuji slumped back into his seat. 

"It's alright, just be mindful next time," Makoto softly spoke.

“You’ve totally been doing better about it,” Ann patted his back and he beamed at her.

"Has this fallen boulder killed the great Inari Bento?" Yusuke asked Futaba unbothered, almost as though he expected it.

"Yes, it has," the small orange-haired girl huffed. "Make a new character, and we'll introduce them when we can."

"Very well." Yusuke grabbed his pencil and quickly jotted down 'II' next to 'Inari Bento' on his character sheet.

Futaba didn't seem impressed. "Y-You can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"You have to roll new stats when you make a new character!" Futaba rationalized.

"Very well, will three of you please lend me your six-sided dice?"

Ren stifled a laugh at Yusuke's antics as he palmed his D6 across the table. "Sure, buddy, here you go."

"Ren! Don't encourage him!" Futaba turned her glare to Ren as he raised his hands innocently.

As Inari Bento's flattened body lay underneath the colossal rock in the center of the tunnel, everyone did their best to squeeze into their hiding places.

The sound from down the corridor grew closer, and the more perceptive among the group immediately discerned that there were many sets of uneven footsteps.

Joker honed in on his senses as he closed his eyes and listened carefully. Each footfall was analyzed in an instant, and he could picture the approaching foe in his mind. "Humanoids, skeletons, I think... There's eight of them."

"Very perceptive," Ababila praised the rogue. "But there's a problem."

"A problem?" Queen peered down at the goblin.

An arrow thwacked against the crates down the hall, embedding itself in the rotting wood.

"Skull didn't put out his torch. They can totally see the light."

"Skull!" Panther hissed. She readied her staff to cast her magic upon their still distant foes. "Why didn't you put it out?!"

"Aw, eff!" Skull slammed the back of his head against the crates. "I didn't think they could see light! When's the last time you saw a skeleton with eyes?!"

"There's no time to argue! Is everyone ready to fight?" Ababila called out from her hiding place.

"Always!" Beauty Thief brandished her great axe. "Let's send these skeletons back to the grave!"

Queen was the first to charge out of her hiding place, sword and shield in hand, towards the swarm of undead shambling towards them. She managed to reach the pair of skeletons who were leading the advance, and with two attacks from her blade, she was able to strike the first skeleton down. Having exhausted her offense, she brought her attention to the skeleton next to her and prepared to weather its blow.

“Wow,” Joker breathed, and it was a good thing he didn’t go next because he was completely starstruck.

Panther popped out from behind the crates to send three arcing rays of scorching flame from her staff toward one of the archers in the back. Two rays found their mark, destroying their target, while the third whisked off down the dark tunnel and dissipated into dull embers.

“Eff yeah!” Skull cheered, big meaty fist in the air.

Joker followed after Queen, jumping into the fray. As Panther incinerated one of the archers in the back, he focused his attention on the undamaged skeleton still standing next to Queen. 

The foul undead was too distracted by the paladin to be aware of the unexpected strike empowered by his roguish guile. Joker drove both his daggers into the cadaver, one to the forehead and the other in its ribcage. The precision of his strikes caused the bone to shatter effortlessly as what remained of the skeleton crumpled to the floor, dead.

A shroud of darkness manifested around Joker, and his eyes went red. He struck a finger out toward the nearest skeleton, and the shroud surrounded it. “Ravage them!” Its bones shuddered as ghostly wails broke out around it, causing decay and leaving it far weaker than the others.

It all happened so fast, but Queen still saw the ghoulish display. Her mouth was slightly agape as she witnessed the unholy power. “What are y-?”

“Watch out!” Joker pushed Queen out of the way and her stupor, taking the blow himself. It only grazed his torso but still stung.

The other two skeletons followed their kin and lunged for Queen. Focusing again, she raised her shield and easily deflected both blows.

The two remaining skeleton archers readied their bows and loosed arrows on their further companions. One arrow found purchase in Panther's shoulder, and she let out a cry of pain at the extensive amount of damage relative to her weak fortitude. The second arrow comically veered off course and embedded itself in the flattened carcass of the party's monk, who was still crushed under the inexplicable rock that had fallen from the ceiling and killed him.

Skull let out a blood-curdling roar as he charged out from behind the crates, barreling towards the skeletons surrounding Joker and Queen. The electric aura around him zapped the nearest skeleton as he swung his maul recklessly and bore down upon the unreacting undead. While his first attack missed by just a hair, his second blow obliterated the skeleton with the raw crushing force of the weapon he bludgeoned it with.

Beauty Thief wasn't too far behind Skull. Great axe in hand, she vaulted over the crates and overwhelmed the two remaining skeletons in melee. Her attacks were impossibly precise, bypassing the skeleton's meager attempts to defend themselves with such overwhelming efficiency that some of what she had done had to be attributed to incredible luck. In the end, all the skeletons equipped to fight up close and personal lay defeated as a pile of bones at their feet.

“RAAA LET’S EFFIN’ GO!” Skull slapped a green hand against Beauty Thief’s armored back, a gesture of warrior comradery and respect.

Beauty Thief giggled, “Thank you, Skull-kun!”

Ababila poked her head out of the wall crevice as Mona skittered out and ran up to Panther. The cat meowed wildly and emphatically while staring up at the lightly injured sorcerer, desperate to aid her. Standing up on hind legs with two carefully placed kitty paws on her leg, Ababila recited an incantation from a distance just as Panther ripped the arrow from her shoulder with a pained grunt. Magic surged through Mona's paws and into Panther, who gently winced as the wound in her shoulder rapidly closed.

“Thanks, Mona!”

“Mao!”

With the skeleton swarm defeated by the martial-oriented party members, Queen turned her attention to the surviving undead archers. The distance between them was too great to clear without putting everything into sprinting to reach her foes. Shield first, she charged.

Panther pulled a single bolt of flame from the head of her staff and hurled it towards the nearest archer. The fire crashed into the skeleton, and the wave of heat partially incinerated its ribcage, but the creature kept on its feet. With a huff, Panther ducked back behind the crates to avoid inviting another arrow.

Not letting Queen bear the brunt of battling the skeletons she was face to face with alone, Joker dashed forward. He closed the gap easily thanks to his superior agility, which allowed him to attempt another precise strike with one of his daggers. It found purchase in the skull of the walking undead. It quickly went limp and crashed to the floor.

With only one skeleton left, the one which had been seared by Panther's flame, it seemed like it would be easy to mop up this last enemy and regroup, but something was amiss...

The ground beneath their feet rumbled, and a horrible, bellowing groan echoed through the halls around them.

With a sudden explosion of dust and broken rock, the footstones that separated Joker and Queen from the rest of the group erupted as a giant undead, semi-armored ogre pulled itself from the earth. It was a horrible, rancid thing. The skin peeled from its rotting muscles, patchy bits of exposed bone were visible across its body where the armor barely clung to it. It had only a single cloudy eye that locked onto the isolated adventurers.

"Fuck." It was the only thing Joker could think to say as the creature began to lumber towards him and the paladin by his side.

"Oh shit! That thing’s freakin’ huge!" Skull was already eager to charge the monstrosity with reckless abandon.

"Let's take this ogre down!" Queen braced her shield and prepared for whatever attack was surely heading her way.

A distant ghostly voice, eerily similar to that of the slain Inari Bento, was carried on a chill breeze through the dark corridors. "Somebody once told me the world was going to roll me..."

"What?" Panther asked the spectral presence.

"Just ignore it, it's not real." Ababila shook her head.

"That's fine by me!" Beauty Thief raised her great axe. "I'm ready when you all are!"

The ogre was almost upon Joker and Queen when suddenly a sharp pain dug into Joker's backside. He glanced down at the arrow which had embedded itself in his left asscheek.

Of course, they had forgotten the fucking skeleton archer existed with all this commotion.

The ogre raised a crude bar of iron with a chunk of stone embedded in the end as a sort of makeshift weapon before sending it crashing down into Queen.

Even with her shield up, the force of the blow nearly flattened her. Her arms barely held up as she pushed the weighty weapon back. She was injured pretty bad from the attack; she coughed up blood from crushed ribs, and her shield arm rested at an uncomfortable angle. If the ogre swung at her again, she might not–

With no time to dwell on the thought, the makeshift morning star wielded by the ogre swung wide towards Joker. He did his best to nimbly evade the strike, but the edge of the improvised weapon clipped him. Skin ripped from muscles as blood-splattered fabric on his pant leg tore open from the jagged edges of the stone chunk, but the damage felt mostly superficial. It was definitely nothing compared to the damage Queen had taken.

"Undead ogres cannot attack twice," Yusuke noted with no inflection to his tone.

"How the fuck do you know that, Inari!?" Futaba slammed her hands on the table as she glared at the artist. "Are you metagaming? Huh? Are you!?"

"What's metagaming?" Ann whispered to Ryuji, confused. Her fellow blonde only shrugged.

"Metagaming is kind of cheating. In this case, she's accusing Yusuke of looking at the stat block for the monster." Ren shook his head. Yusuke hadn't touched his phone or any of the books on the table this whole session. 

"Exactly!" Futaba pointed an accusatory finger at the blue-haired boy. "Now, how do you know that, Inari?!"

"I must confess your passion for this game piqued my interest. I have taken the liberty of reading your game manuals from cover to cover and committed every detail to memory."

"For real?" Ryuji sat forward in his chair. "So, like, you could tell us anything about any monster?"

"Precisely."

"Bullshit." Futaba grabbed the book labeled 'Creature Compendium' and flipped it open to a seemingly random page. "What's the armor class for a Water Weird?"

"Thirteen," Yusuke responded calmly.

Futaba flipped backward through the book, scanning for obscure monsters.

"How much damage, and of what type, does a silver dragon's breath do?" She squinted at the page, then to Yusuke.

"I am assuming you are considering the creature's cold breath as opposed to its paralyzing breath? If so, I will have to request that you clarify the specific type of silver dragon, as the damage dealt by the breath attack is dependent on the age of the dragon." Yusuke began a long winded tangent. "For instance, starting as wyrmling, the most youthful stage for a dragon, the damage dealt by a Silver Dragon Wyrmling would be four eight-sided die-"

"What the eff…?" Ryuji muttered quietly in amazement.

"You've memorized all that before we even started playing, Yusuke?" Makoto acknowledged the artist, sounding somewhat impressed by what was a non-atypical antic of his.

"Indeed I have. Futaba's passions are as dear to me as she is," he said with a completely straight face.

Meanwhile, Futaba's face went red. She slammed the 'Creature Compendium' shut and tossed it over her shoulder. Her voice cracked as she tried to regain her composure. "R-Right! Nevermind then. L-Let's just get back to playing!"

Yusuke's... ‘Friend,’ Haru shot Futaba a look as she shuffled slightly in her seat to move closer to Yusuke. "But wait, if Yusuke-kun is correct, then doesn't that mean you're cheating, Futaba-chan?"

Any amount of fluster left Futaba in an instant as she focused newfound ire on the fluffy-haired girl. "It's called homebrewing! And watch yourself, or this ogre’s coming for you next!"

"Not to sound like a broken record, but what's homebrewing?" Ann piped up.

"I believe it is the act of making alcoholic beverages at home for personal use," Yusuke informed the blonde girl.

“It’s when you make up your own shit for the monster or whatever. It’s not from the official books basically,” Ren answered her for real.

"Enough talking! What’s your plan, Skull!"

“Let’s eff ‘em up!” He tossed his D20 in front of him. “Uh, that’s uh, four, seven, seven plus five is, uh, twelve!”

Skull’s first hit was respectable enough as is, but the follow-up crashed into the rotting beast's skull with such force it was nearly comparable to the damage Beauty Thief had put out against the skeletons.

Speaking of the devil, the great goliath woman set her sights on the ogre as well. Her great axe cleaved into its decayed flesh with that mixture of luck and might she had dispatched all her other foes with. The great undead looked severely injured by this assault, so much so that even a faint breeze risked toppling the beast.

Ababila was brisk in her action, leveling her crossbow and firing off a bolt into the one remaining skeleton archer, dispatching it.

"Only one left!" The little goblin cheered.

The ethereal voice of Inari Bento returned with sagely advice. "Felling the creature with radiant damage will ensure the true death of such a zombified creature."

The tunnels around them shuddered as an even larger stone tumbled through the hole in the roof above the flattened monk's corpse and crushed the slain adventurer into a fine red mist.

Queen grunted as she recovered her composure enough to raise her blade. She would kill this horrible monster.

With a surge of energy, holy light shimmered across the steel surface of the weapon. She mustered her strength and swung with all her might. The sword ripped through the creature's rotting flesh, searing it away with divine magic.

As the blade passed through the creature, it let out a pathetic low groan before it collapsed to the ground with a heavy thud.

The beast was dead.

They were safe.

“That was pretty effin’ easy!” Ryuji boasted.

“I am in agreement,” Yusuke, who had done nothing again, nodded.

“‘Easy,’ huh?” Futaba’s gaze darkened as her brow twitched. “I’ll show you easy… Just you wait…”

Completely unaware of their CM's threats, Ryuji nudged his girlfriend next to him, “You good on HP, babe?” 

Morgana shifted in Ren’s lap to glare daggers at the blonde. He seemed to be trying to work out what was going on between the two, but either blinding denial or his tiny kitty brain was preventing him from putting the pieces together. Ren petted the cat on his lap, distracting him enough to keep him from opening his fat kitty mouth.

“You took some hits as well,” Ren commented to his own girlfriend. “Should we take a short rest?”

“I should be okay…” Makoto looked over her penciled-in hit points and the healing abilities she had from her class. Once of which was called ‘Lay on Hands.’ 

Ren kind of wished she’d lay her hands on him. Now wasn’t the time.

“Perhaps after we rest, Yusuke-kun’s new character can be introduced?” 

“I believe that would be the optimal moment.”

“Fine, fine,” Futaba waved a hand. “Short rest it is.”

“Sorry, what’s a short rest do?” Ann asked.

“You can spend hit die to heal-”

“Oh! Yes, let’s do that then!”

“Ayo, don’t you got an arrow in your ass, Joker?” 

“I’ll get it out,” Makoto volunteered.

“As fun as that’d be, we’re not roleplaying that.”

“Inari Bento II’s ideals, bonds, and flaws all permutate around food.” 

“How interesting, Yusuke-kun!”

“Which one do I roll for my healing?” Ann asked.

“The square one,” Futaba answered without looking up from her laptop screen.

While those who needed it rolled some healing, Futaba summoned Morgana to behind her CM screen. They spoke quietly with each other and made a few rolls. Morgana seemed increasingly excited about whatever it was. There were a few nods and snickers—one vehement ‘NO!’ from Morgana. And then he was returning to Ren’s lap, pleased and practically vibrating with excitement.

“Okay, let’s get back into it!” Futaba clapped her hands. 

“What about Yusuke-kun’s character?” Haru reminded.

“Oh, right,” Futaba responded flatly. “Is Inari Bento Jr. ready?”

“His name is Inari Bento II,” Yusuke corrected happily.

Futaba stared at Yusuke for a long time. He stared back. Some kind of communication was occurring. No one knew what the fuck was happening though. 

Ryuji mouthed a ‘What the eff?’ to Ren, who could only shake his head and shrug helplessly.

“‘Kay, whatever,” Futaba relented. “From the path you came enters a new figure. It’s eerily similar to that of your fallen companion. So eerily similar, in fact, that it might as well be the same damn guy, and there’s no need for formal introductions.”

"I assure you, he is very much unlike his predecessor," Yusuke warned ominously.

As the party and their newest addition crawled through the hole left by the slain undead ogre, they found themselves navigating a winding tunnel carved from natural earth instead of aged brickwork. As they crept forward as cautiously and stealthily as they could, they began to hear the distant sound of chanting. Somewhere not far ahead, a glimpse of flickering pale blue light cast several strangely shaped shadows upon the wall.

“Alright,” Joker spoke quietly, raising a fist to halt them. He turned back to the group and continued, “You guys stay here. I’m going to scout ahead.”

“Alone?” Queen hissed incredulously. “Absolutely not.”

“Joker’s got it, Queen. No big deal!” Skull spoke a little too loud. “He’s stealthy as hell!”

“I understand that, but he shouldn’t go far on his own.”

“I’m not taking you with me,” Joker shut her down before she even suggested it.

“And just why not?” Queen frowned, offended.

“No offense, but you’re not exactly, uh…” Joker gestured to her armor. “Dressed for stealth.”

“Might I accompany you then?” Inari Bento II suggested.

Their new… companion… was definitely dressed for stealth, but he was also super fucking weird. Something was off about him, but it was hard to tell what yet. Joker felt like he’d be safer alone.

Panther was his only other option, and she didn’t exactly look like she was itching to go with him. If something did happen, she wouldn’t be able to handle too many hits. 

It had to be him, and it had to only be him.

“I’m going alone,” Joker said with finality, pulling up his hood.

That was that.

“Hey,” Queen stopped him, grabbing hold of his wrist. “Just…” Crimson eyes met silvery gray. “Just be careful, okay?”

“A Queen’s orders are absolute,” Joker jokingly saluted. And then, with a short arcane incantation and devilish smirk, he vanished from sight.

“Ah-!” Queen gasped. 

“Oh, so that’s what you were talking about, huh, Skull?” 

“Mhm! My boy’s got that magic shit for real!”

“How lovely! How often can he do that?”

Joker didn’t get to hear Skull answer Beauty Thief. He was already too far to hear even the loud barbarian. 

Through the open mouth at the end of the tunnel, he emerged to a large underground cavernous ravine. Joker couldn't see the ceiling, and the length of the jagged ravine was faintly illuminated by bioluminescent mushrooms lining the craggy walls. Along the base of the ravine were several strange-looking structures. Dozens of domes of bone covered by the stretched-out hides of unknown animals surrounded a large crystal in the center of this underground encampment. 

The giant crystal shone with a pale blue light that flickered as the silhouettes of strange humanoid reptilian creatures about the size of an average human. They seemed to be performing a ritual around the gemstone. Beneath the glass-like surface of the crystal, a wisp of energy danced about, forming strange shapes and symbols. It was hard to tell exactly what was happening, but there was certainly some kind of magic at work here.

With another easy stealth mission done, it was time to head back. 

Joker returned to the group and told them of his findings. They agreed to approach with caution but not stealth, as there was probably no point. Several people’s heavy armor would give them away.

Climbing over the tunnel's lip, the party slid down the shallow incline towards the encampment. As they drew near, they made no effort to hide their approach, and the occupants seemed to take notice of them fairly quickly.

The chanting quieted as several bipedal reptiles turned away from the crystal and looked at each other, confused. A few of them grabbed primitive-looking tools from around the camp and formed up around the largest of the lizard people. The chanting died completely, replaced instead with hushed whispers in a foreign tongue.

“Are these dragonborn?” Ryuji interrupted before they could jump into roleplay with NPCs for the first time.

“No, they’re lizardfolk,” Futaba replied.

“I dislike them,” Yusuke decided.

Ann tapped at her chin, “But they look like dragon people?”

“No, they look like lizard people.”

“Is there a difference?” Haru asked innocently. “Aren’t dragons just big lizards?”

“I-It– The– There’s a difference!”

“Mako, Joker’s lips look lonely.”

“Ren, I told you, it’s not happening in the first session!”

“Second session then…”

“I wanna plaaaaay!” Morgana yowled.

“Who’s taking point on this encounter?”

"Hello," Queen cautiously spoke first as the large lizard and its entourage approached the group. “We're sorry, but we don't mean to intrude. We've been exploring a nearby dungeon, and we're blocked by a cave-in. We backtracked through the dungeon into a tunnel, hoping to find some way around, but it led us here.”

Several of the lizard people tilted their heads in confusion before letting out a series of chirps and growls amongst themselves as they seemed to converse in another language.

"I don't think they understand you," Joker observed, crossing his arms. He let her do the talking. She and Panther both seemed to have a knack for it, and they really needed someone articulate. Maybe he just liked listening to Queen talk, too. He liked the sound of her voice.

The lizardfolk group quieted as the large one let out a rumbling growl. Slowly, in the common tongue and an emotionless tone, it spoke, “Lost.”  

With a smile, a very pretty smile, Queen was relieved that these strange beings weren't immediately hostile. "Yes, we’re lost! Can you help us find a way forward?" 

The lizard people surrounding the large reptile began to let out their choir of noises once more, but the largest among them silenced them with a slow, sweeping hand gesture as it locked eyes on Queen. 

"Not. Safe." It spoke the words with the same inflection as before, gurgles and growls punctuating every word. It gestured to the large crystal in the center of the camp. "Ancestors. Protect."

"It's not safe?" Panther seemed to be understanding the creature surprisingly well. "If you're worried about that big zombie ogre thing, we took care of that."

"No," The creature growled, saliva dripping from its cracked and broken teeth. The faint blue light from the crystal behind it faintly illuminated its sage green scales. "Worse."

"Probably the monster that Ababila mentioned," Joker guessed.

"Ding ding ding. We have a winner!" The tiny goblin grinned. "Though this cave isn't technically part of the dungeon."

"So are these guys with Fut- I mean, uh, Ababila's, big bad or what?" Skull seemed a little confused.

Inari Bento II voiced his thoughts, "I had considered such a possibility. Perhaps these pitiable demi-humans are the ones who conjured up the arcane animation of the dead, which Ababila mentioned upon our initial interaction in that tavern."

Well, it seemed Inari Bento II didn’t like lizardfolk. Maybe it was because his father died in these caves near them or some bullshit.

“How do you know about that? You weren't there for it, mister ‘Inari Bento II.’”

"I am simultaneously blessed and cursed with the gift of prescience in both this reality and another." Inari Bento II informed the goblin over her murmurs of 'bullshit' as he continued, "Regardless of how I came upon this knowledge, it's irrefutable that these creatures were partaking in a primitive ritual of some kind upon Joker's initial observation of their settlement."

Seeming to understand Inari Bento II's insensitive comments, the large lizardfolk let out a deep growl, and previously unseen frills on its neck shot up like a jagged collar that framed its face.

Inari Bento II thumbed his katana out of its sheath. Skull, who still didn’t understand that these lizard people didn’t mean them any harm, also reached for his club with an excited grin over the prospect of battle.

With a hiss, each other lizard person around it mimicked their leader, while those who had remained amongst the huts suddenly skittered through the dark doorways and into the safety of their homes.

"Sorry! Please, forgive my friend," Queen stepped forward and gestured downwards with her hands, attempting to diffuse the situation. "I'm certain he meant no offense. We're actually just trying to find a way deeper into the dungeon. If you could tell us if you know of another part of this cave system that intersects with the tunnels of the dungeon, we won't bother you any longer."

The largest lizard's frills slowly fell, and each of the others followed suit. It let out a low rumble as it instructed them, "Turn. Back. Too. Dangerous."

"But if we turn back, we won't get any treasure!" Beauty Thief spoke up as Mona echoed her sentiment with an excited meow.

The lizardfolk leader observed the party with unmoving eyes. "Not. Safe."

"Listen," Panther stepped forward to address the leader of the lizard people. "We're stronger than you think. We can stop that monster you're trying to warn us away from; just tell us where to go, and we'll deal with it. I promise you won't have to worry about this creature once we're done."

A great pause came over the two groups huddled in the pale blue light of the village crystal. The lizard leader seemed to be considering the weight of Panther's argument before slowly nodding.

"Very. Well." It grinned with a cunning, broken smile. "Will. Guide. For. Price."

"What's your price?" Queen reached towards her coin purse.

"Surface. Food." The creature grumbled. Each of the lizard folks surrounding the creature's heads perked up excitedly with the utterance of the two words.

"Just food? I think we can spare a few rations each..." Joker checked his pack. "Let's say everyone pitches in three rations; that's eighteen rations, twenty-one if you chip in, Ababila."

"Sure!" The goblin reached into her own bag and withdrew an armful of carefully wrapped foodstuffs. "But it's coming out of your share of the reward."

"That's fine." Joker wasn't worried over a few coins worth of rations.

"I am once more facing the dilemma of lacking in provisions," Inari Bento II lamented. "Might I ask a favor once more of you all?"

"I'll cut you the same deal as Joker." Ababila raised an eyebrow as she looked the tiefling up and down. "But it'll cost you twice as much as it cost him."

"Absolutely not," Inari Bento II rejected the offer, offense written across his features. "I would hope that my generosity would be repaid in kind."

"What generosity!?" The goblin spat. "You haven't done anything at all! Never mind, deal’s off! You're on your own!"

"Very well." Inari Bento II turned his attention to the lizardfolk leader. "I offer up Mona for consumption as my contribution to this trade, though I am uncertain if familiars offer any nutritional value."

Mona let out an angry hiss before yowling off several meows, telling the monk off.

"I'll cover for Inari-kun!" Beauty Thief defused the situation cheerily while the party's goblin guide angrily shuddered at the '-kun' honorific bestowed by the giant girl to the monk on which she was so fixated.

Passing over the collection of rations, the group of lizard people surged forward, clamoring for the goods, but were stopped by a deep bark from their leader.

Slowly, the big lizardfolk picked up one of the rations in a clawed hand and brought it to its nose before taking two sharp sniffs.

The great scaled beast man slowly nodded.

With a whistle, the leader of the lizardfolk called back to the village. Skittering out of the shadows came a small lizardfolk clad in simple rags who nervously approached the group. As it drew near, its big, dark eyes nervously darted around, and its pale red scales trembled as the large lizardfolk instructed it in its strange language.

As the little one nodded rapidly, the leader turned back to the party. "Grunt. Will. Guide."

"The lil lizard dude's name is Grunt?" Skull asked the giant lizard leader.

With a low, airy "Yes" from the leader, they had their answer.

"I love him." Panther immediately declared her affection for the tiny lizard person barely the size of their goblin.

As their new guide led them away from the lizard people's village, it didn't take too long before they found themselves once more navigating narrow passageways that differed from the cavern they left behind.

With a few quick skips, Grunt, the tiny lizard guide, hopped over an underground stream before excitedly turning to face the party and gesturing for them to follow.

One by one, they followed their tiny guide, his tail sweeping side to side excitedly as they drew near their destination.

Walking up the shallow incline of this particular tunnel, they found themselves suddenly met by a great wall of stone bricks with a narrow crack barely big enough for a person to squeeze through in the stonework.

"This is it?" Joker asked Grunt, who only tilted his head to the side in confusion.

"Seems like only the leader could understand common. This guy doesn't," Ababila voiced her observations.

"Well, he did very good!" Panther leaned down and patted the top of the small creature's head. "I think he deserves a ration just for him!"

"You would aid this creature but not your traveling companion in a time of need?" Inari Bento II raised an eyebrow as the sorcerer withdrew a neatly wrapped meal from her bag. That weird vibe Joker got from the monk earlier spiked up again.

"A bit of food is probably more valuable to him than to you," Ababila sneered at the monk. Unknowingly goading the monk about his most precious bond, flaw, and ideal. "Besides, any reasonable adventurer would have bought food before deciding to delve into an unknown cave."

"I lacked the funds for such a purchase," Inari Bento II’s brows curved downward.

"That sounds like a you problem." Ababila cracked her fingers as she regarded the narrow passage back into the dungeon. "But we're close to the treasure; I can feel it."

"Ain't that normally Mona's thing?" Skull chimed in.

The cat let out a series of rapid mews.

"I know everything my familiar knows," the goblin shrugged. "Now, can we get back to it?"

"Will Grunt be okay getting back to the village on his own?" Panther asked worriedly, gazing down at the small lizard person who eagerly licked his lips at the ration, a glazed sweet roll, in his grasp. "I mean, couldn't there be other dangerous monsters down here that might hurt him?"

"I assure you," Inari Bento II's voice was icy. His eyes had not left the food Panther had given the tiny lizard. "There are worse things than monsters down here that will harm him."

With that, Inari Bento II lunged for Grunt.

"NO!" Ann screeched. "You're not hurting him!"

"I have already declared my intent to attack," Yusuke responded calmly.

Futaba sighed. "Inari did already say he was going to..."

"I won't let him! Can I stop him?" Ann was already grabbing her dice.

"No, but I don't know why you're worried. Inari hasn't succeeded at anything all night." She looked down at her notes, unbothered.

"So I am permitted to attempt my strike?" Yusuke asked the Crypt Master.

"No!" Ann interrupted Futaba before she could speak.

Futaba ignored Ann's objections, not worried in the slightest. "Yes. And when Grunt gets back to his village and says you tried to kill him, you can face the consequences, Inari."

With a single nod, Yusuke tossed his D20 from his hand and let it clatter to the table.

It rolled across the wood surface and stopped with the '20' side facing up. Even Yusuke seemed shocked at the uncharacteristically high roll. His mild grimace gave away that he hadn’t thought he’d hit, let alone crit. But they all had to live with the consequences.

With one punch, Inari Bento II's closed fist impacted the small, defenseless Grunt’s head with enough force to make it explode in a shower of blood and bone while everyone else was forced to witness the sheer brutality of the act in horror.

Panther let out a distraught wail and was quickly restrained by Skull as she repeatedly declared she was going to kill Inari Bento II.

Joker frowned. That wasn’t very cool of Inari Bento II. 

“‘Kay, what’s your alignment?” Futaba asked.

“Neutral evil,” Yusuke answered without even glancing at his character canvas.

“Alright, never mind, that makes sense.”

“Can we heal him?” Ann pleaded, desperate for the little lizard creature back. “Makoto? You have healing, right?”

Makoto winced, reading over her spells. “I don’t think I can bring someone back from the dead… Not yet, at least…”

Wanting everyone to have fun, Futaba declared, “Ah, fuck it, okay! From the path you came rapidly approaches a- … Hm, Mona, why don’t-?” The Crypt Master’s eyes darted to Haru for a split second, and she coughed, “Ehem, why don’t I go ahead and describe your character!”

Haru's eyes lit up. “Mona-chan gets to play?” 

“I sure do!” Morgana responded as if Haru could understand. She was taking their sudden inclusion of a cat really well. Then again, she didn’t really question that they kept having conversations with him.

“A human man, about the height of Joker, approaches rapidly. He’s wearing heavy metal armor-”

“‘Cause I’m strong!” Morgana interrupted.

“Right,” Futaba grunted. “Because he’s so strong. Anyway, heavy metal armor and a shield emblazoned with a holy sigil of a god only Queen recognizes - one of healing. He has dark wavy hair that kind of reminds you all of Joker’s but more tinted with blue and not quite as messy-”

“More handsome! Like a movie star!” Morgana interrupted again.

“Sure, whatever, he’s handsome,” Futaba waved a hand. “He’s got bright blue eyes, and they’re focused on the splattered mess of Grunt.”

Ann whimpered at the reminder. Ryuji immediately scooted closer in response.

“I heal him!” Morgana declared.

“Very well. Calling upon your god, you feel the divine magic of life flow through you…”

The complete stranger fell to his knees over Grunt’s slain body and pressed a giant diamond to the remains of Grunt’s bludgeoned head. Reciting an incantation to his god, golden magic left the stranger’s hands, entered the diamond, and shattered against Grunt. There was silence as everyone waited with bated breath to see if it worked. 

Slowly, Grunt’s head sewed itself back together. 

The little creature gurgled a few times before rising to his feet. He shook his head back and forth while Panther cried tears of joy. They all watched, transfixed, as the tiny creature picked up the sweet roll Panther had given him, dusted it off, and took a big bite. He made adorable ‘nom nom nom’ noises as he continued to eat, completely unaware he had just been dead a minute ago.

“Oh, thank god!” Panther breathed. She turned to the newcomer and threw her arms around him. “Thank you!” she pressed kisses to his cheeks as if he were a pet.

“Hehehehe,” the human blushed as he grinned stupidly at the attention. “It was nothing…” 

Ababila snapped her gloved goblin fingers. “Can we move this introduction along?”

“I’m Mona!” Mona excitedly introduced himself. He adjusted the yellow handkerchief at his neck.

Joker shared a glance with Queen. Their eyes locked, and they had the same thought. This stranger would make a great main healer. Queen could heal, but she couldn’t do whatever he just did.

Offering a hand to their new compatriot, Joker helped Mona to his feet and introduced him to their group. 

“Why is Mona-chan’s character a boy?” Haru asked ever so sweetly and just as innocently.

Ren raised a brow toward Yusuke. Had he really not fucking told her Morgana was a boy? Ren had really been hoping he’d just misheard Haru when she called Mona a girl earlier. He also couldn’t believe that was what Haru decided to question and not the fact that they all talked to Morgana like he was human.

“Because I. Am. A. Boy!” Morgana yowled from the corner of the table between Ren and Ann.

“Mona’s a boy,” Makoto was the one to reveal it with little fanfare.

“Thank you!” 

Haru gasped, stifling it slightly with a hand. “H-Huh?”

“Yusuke, why didn’t you fucking tell her?” 

“I found it a mite amusing,” he delivered neutrally.

Fuck. It is kind of funny.

“It’s not funny! Someone tell her my real name, too!” Morgana demanded.

“Mona’s real name is Morgana, by the way,” Ann quickly granted the cat’s wish. Probably grateful to him for reviving her favorite NPC. “Mona is just a nickname.”

“O-Oh my,” Haru placed a hand on her forehead like the revelation was too much for her.

Best not to tell her he can talk then.

Ren shot Morgana a look, and the cat nodded to him. As much as it sucked for Morgana to have to remain quiet, he would do his best not to talk too much, and Ren would ‘translate’ for him.

“Okay, so Grunt’s alive?” Ann prompted them back into the game.

“He’s okay!” Panther cried, falling to her knees in front of Grunt.

Grunt’s long lizard tongue came out and licked his open eyeball, moistening it.

“Oh my gods,” Panther gushed, tears genuinely pricking the corner of her eyes. “He’s perfect!”

“I see no beauty in this creature,” Inari Bento II commented.

Panther whipped her head to glare fiery daggers into the monk. “Quiet!”

“Maybe don’t say that shit, bro,” Skull advised. He tilted his head, observing as the little lizard guide plopped to his butt and licked each scaly finger individually. “I dunno… He’s kinda cute.” His head turned to Joker, and he knew exactly what his orcish friend was about to ask.

“If you want to keep him, you have to take care of him,” Joker answered before he could voice his query.

Watching Panther press kisses to the little creature’s face, Queen grimaced. “I think he’s a person; we can’t just take him.”

“We can ask if he wants to come with us?” Beauty Thief suggested.

“Good idea!” Skull put his hands on his knees and crouched down. “Ya wanna come with us, lil buddy?”

Skull’s big, toothy smile seemed to scare the little creature. He fell backward, shivering in fear at the large-tusked half-orc.

“You’re scaring him!” Panther angrily pushed him to the side. She held her arms out to Grunt for a hug and cooed, “Come here, Grunt! I’ll take care of you!”

Grunt opened his mouth and let out a series of baby roars before waddling to her.

“I prooobably should’ve asked before, but do any of you speak draconic?” Futaba stared directly at Ann as she asked.

“Where’s that on our sheet?” Ryuji squinted, skimming over his character sheet.

“I think it’s here, Ryuji-kun,” Haru pointed toward a box in the bottom left corner.

“Oh… I don’t!”

“Where is it?” Ann nudged her shoulder into Ryuji’s, requesting help.

“Riiiiight… there! Hey, you know dragon language!” 

“Oh, cool! … What does that mean?” 

Futaba grinned.

“He thinks I’m his MOM?!” Panther exclaimed, hugging the lizard close. “Yes, I am!” She let out a series of similar roars to the little baby that no one else understood and he hugged her even more tightly.

“So sweet,” Beauty Thief smiled warmly at the display. 

“He’s tryna eat her robes,” Skull pointed out.

“We can’t take him with us into battle, Panther,” Queen was the voice of reason here.

Joker had a solution. He turned to their newest companion, who looked like he wished he was in Grunt’s position. “Mona, would you stay behind and take care of Grunt for us?”

“Huh?” Mona frowned. “But I just joined!”

“Don’t worry,” Ababila patted the human’s leg. She gestured to the cat next to her. “My familiar will be with us!”

“Oh,” Mona hung his head.

“Thank you so much, Mona!” Panther wrapped him in a hug with Grunt. “Please, take good care of Grunt! I promise we’ll bring you a share of the treasure!”

“Ehehe,” Mona giggled into the hug, suddenly okay with it. “Okay! I love treasure!”

So, with that decided, it was time to proceed forward. Grunt and Mona would stay behind and wait for them to return after slaying whatever the hell was down here.

One by one, they squeezed through the narrow passage.

On the other side of the wall, there was a short hall. The sides of it were littered with smashed tables and broken glass, beyond which was a large open chamber. It was a great semi-spherical room, dome-shaped, about forty feet high, with a flat floor and a series of large circular tunnels big enough for a person to fit through, worked into the design, arranged at different heights and places along the room's circular wall.

A small inset cavity was positioned on the far side of the room. A pair of large chests sat closed on either side of it while a pile of copper, silver, and gold coins several feet high glimmered in the torchlight. Half the group ran ahead with excited cheers and no sense of self-preservation. Queen chided them about the dangers but was quickly brushed off when each chest seemed untrapped.

An eerie whistle of wind quietly resonated from a perfectly circular hole in the ceiling. Most everyone was enraptured, taking their pick of the pile of treasure laid before them, but only the most perceptive of the party took notice of a disturbance.

Turning away from the tantalizing treasure, Joker and Inari Bento II caught sight of a swirling mass of dark earthy-brown tentacles drifting eerily from the ceiling and towards the direct center of the room. Time seemed to slow as they watched the strange tentacled creature unfurl mid-air in a vortex motion like the lips of a strange alien tulip. Snapping a colossal bloodshot single milk-white eye open, a series of sharp armor plating prickled up across the creature with a series of low clicks emanating from a great toothy mouth that oozed a pale yellow saliva.

Only Inari Bento II was able to react before the creature could make its move. Leaping forward from the distracted adventurers who were becoming aware of the situation, he set upon the creature with a flurry of slashes and strikes, blade singing through the air, followed by the strikes of a masterful martial artist, pouring everything he had to prove his worth.

Not a single attack hit, of course.

Joker was already lunging into action as the creature ensnared Inari Bento II in its tentacles and forced the blue tiefling into its mouth.

With a disgusting lurch, the jagged teeth bit into the monk and split him in half instantly.

He was dead on the spot.

Everyone knew that this was far more deadly than they had anticipated. At this moment, Joker, Queen, and the rest of the party, save for the venerable Ababila, regretted that two certain someones with blonde and blue hair had decided to boast to this world’s master about how 'easy' those skeletons were earlier during their brief respite.

"Curses," the artist whispered. "How much damage do I take?"

"All of it," Futaba hissed with narrowed eyes. This was definitely payback for killing Grunt, too.

"I take all of the damage?" Yusuke tilted his head, confused.

"You take all of it."

Completely fine with it, Yusuke painted a thin layer of white over his new character’s formerly full HP pool before swiftly changing brushes to one pre-prepared with black paint to draw a ‘0’.

"Is this the moment Yusuke-kun would make a death save?" Haru asked the hunched-over Crypt Master.

"He doesn't get to make a save. He's dead on the spot," Futaba reiterated her earlier statement.

“Oh, no… Yusuke-kun…”

"Excellent," Yusuke paused his brush strokes near the top of his canvas. "I had already been mentally constructing the backstory for my newest character. May I request that some of you please lend me your six-sided dice?"

Neither Ren nor Ryuji hesitated to toss their d6s toward Yusuke's seat at the table. Ann had already passed hers over the first time she heard Futaba say, 'Dead on the spot.'

Futaba let out a low groan as Yusuke laid out a series of swift strokes, amending the name of his character.

Thus, Inari Bento III was born.

"Can we just..." Futaba said defeatedly, wheezing. "... The rest of you are surprised. Joker, you're up."

Joker drew his hand crossbow to bear on the monster before him. He darted to the side, away from the rest of the stunned group, hoping to draw the thing's attention away from them. He pulled the trigger on his weapon, and the mechanism of the crossbow loosed the bolt with a mechanical 'thunk.' The barbed bolt found purchase and embedded itself in the side of the giant floating eyeball, but the monster didn't even flinch.

“Shit…”

Queen was the first to snap out of her surprised stupor, having mostly been on guard anyway. She stepped forward towards the creature. It was still hovering too high in the air to strike at with her sword. Quietly, she uttered an incantation that brought forth a sudden surge of shimmering energy that shrouded her body and magically bolstered her defenses.

If the situation weren’t so dire, Joker would’ve had many things to say about how angelic she looked.

"What in the world is that thing?" She raised her shield as she focused her attention on the single, unmoving, milky eye that bore down on the group.

"I bet it's the monster!" Skull cracked his neck to one side as he shook off his shock. "And it's gonna regret tryna get the drop on us!"

Immediately, Skull surged forward and pushed himself off the ground, into the air. Given his natural strength, he was able to jump quite high, bellowing out a furious cry of rage. He tried to grapple the floating creature with his free hand. Thankfully, he was able to latch onto the base of one of its dry tendrils, the skin cracking under the force of his grip. The thunderous energy surrounding him zapped the monster, but it seemed to ignore the minor damage. He then unsuccessfully tried to hit it.

"It's an undead Begripper! Might not want to let those tendrils touch you!" Ababila warned as she fired off her crossbow and missed before diving behind a nearby chest for cover. "They're covered with tons of nasty barbs with toxins that can do some real damage."

"What! Why didn't you warn us?" Panther did her best to squeeze behind the chest with the goblin to no avail. "Skull's already right in that thing's face!"

“The whole effin’ thing is a face!” Skull grunted.

"It wouldn't matter if he was over here with us! Those tendrils have reach!" The goblin proceeded to urge the sorcerer to act. "But its fangs are plenty nasty on their own. You better cook it with some flames quickly, or he's going to wind up just like Inari!"

"Ugh, I'll hit Skull if I use anything big!" Panther frustratedly hoisted her staff into the air towards the barbarian furiously holding onto their foe. "I'll just have to do a firebolt!"

"Just a firebolt?" Ababila questioned the choice of action.

The bolt of flame was conjured from the staff and hurled towards the creature, splashing over the undead Begripper in a wave of fire. "Yes! What else am I supposed to do?"

"You could try one of the eight actual spells you know."

"I don't want to accidentally hit Skull!" Panther protested. 

As they argued, Beauty Thief wordlessly lunged for the creature, opting to instead attempt to leap at the creature and swing at it midair. Unsurprisingly, both her attacks hit, but only one carried her signature level of devastation.

Mona the familiar let off a series of mocking vocalizations directed towards the struggling Skull, berating him for obscuring Panther's magical attack.

"How the 'eff was I supposed to know!?" Skull roared up from his attempt to wrestle the giant eyeball into submission.

"She can try something else shortly, like those fire rays you used on that skeleton earlier."

"Oh yeah..." Panther quietly thought about her earlier actions, which she had forgotten. "I guess I could have done that instead. Oops."

The tendrils of the creature lashed outwards, stretching across the room and latching onto Joker. The barbs he was warned about dug into his flesh, and he did his best to fight against the withering force of entropic energy that surged through them and into his body. Despite his efforts to resist the pain, he still felt his life force drift away. Struggling against the assault by the undead Begripper, he broke free of its grasp, which caused the tentacles to retreat. He felt like that thing had taken over half his life in just that one attack.

“Joker!” Queen cried out in concern as he struggled to stay standing. She moved to approach.

“Shit, bro, what’s your HP?”

“AH! No metagaming!”

“Ballpark it,” Ann suggested, attempting to get around Futaba’s restriction.

“I could just read the number off his sheet…” Makoto muttered, doing her best not to check his HP.

Ren halfheartedly spun his pencil in his hand. He wasn’t too worried. “I’m looking like a nineteen out of forty-three.”

“Oh dear…”

Makoto’s brows pinched as she hurriedly grabbed her spell sheet.

“Aight, no worries. I’m sittin’ at sixty-eight outta sixty-eight still! I’ll tank.”

“Woah! That’s like double mine! What the hell?” Ann peered over at Ryuji’s sheet as if to make sure that was right.

The blonde flexed an arm, “It’s ‘cause Skull’s tough! Says it right there, see?”

“Grrr,” Futaba glowered at Ryuji.

— 

But the undead Begripper wasn't done acting yet. Its maw opened wide as it lunged unnaturally towards the half-orc clinging to it. The movement swung his lower body towards its mouth. With a mighty chomp, the foul beast caught one of Skull's legs in its mouth and clamped down hard, jagged teeth tore through flesh and into bone. Skull barely noticed the pain. Lost to his fury, he ignored most of the damage and still held onto his foe.

“RAAAAAA! BRING IT FREAKIN’ ON!”

“Careful, Skull,” Ababila warned through grit pointed teeth. “You might piss it off more…”

It was hard to assess just how badly wounded this... thing was, but if the phantasm of noise that mimicked Inari Bento's voice was any indication, the undead Begripper should’ve been at around half health. There was no way to be sure, but it seemed like a good approximation.

Joker loaded another bolt into his crossbow, scanning the room. There wasn't anywhere to hide to help him garner advantage, but with his allies in close, he wouldn't need to. Leveling the ranged weapon at the thrashing monstrosity Skull was clinging to, Joker waited for just the right moment before loosing his shot. The arrow struck true and burrowed deep into the creature's dead eye. It let out an otherworldly screech as it released Skull's leg from its mouth.

For a moment, Queen paused, staring at Joker and the thick blood oozing from his wounds, soaking his clothes and armor. 

“You don’t know he’s at nineteen HP!” Futaba hastily reminded.

“But I can see he’s bleeding!” Makoto argued.

“We’ll kill it before it gets me again. Deal some damage, Mako, you’re a heavy hitter.”

“But you…”

“I’ll be okay. Joker’s playing it off like he’s fine.”

She reluctantly held off on healing him and ran forward, attempting a series of jumping strikes against the floating eye creature. Her first swing was a fraction of a moment too early and didn't find purchase, but her second strike managed to meet one of the creature's tendrils. A blast of radiant energy surged through her blade and amplified the power of her attack as the sword cleaved all the way through the beast's appendage, cauterizing the severed tendril with a brilliant white flame.

As she dropped away from the creature and back towards the floor, it took the opportunity to try to lunge for her, jagged teeth desperately gnashed at her. It almost looked like it managed to clamp its mouth around her, but the shimmering barrier she had cast around herself earlier prevented the creature from breaching her defenses, and she was able to escape its grasp and land on her feet.

Skull was having a hard time attacking and keeping his grip on the creature. His weapon of choice wasn't really designed to be swung with a single hand. Still, he tried. His first reckless strike managed to hit the creature's plated side for not very impressive damage, and his second missed completely despite his efforts. Cursing, he continued to do his best to hold onto the creature and keep it held in place.

Mona let out a confident, “Meow!” 

The cat wriggled out from the safety of Ababila's coat and rushed the monster. As the familiar coiled itself into a spring preparing to leap, Ababila began to recite an incantation. The cat launched itself into the air and dug its claws into the armored hide of the zombie Begripper; at the same time, Ababila's magic surged through Mona's paws, and crackling electricity coursed through the creature's body. Mona's claws quickly retracted and, the cat fell to the ground, landing on his feet, he scampered a short distance away and arched his back hissing at the now heavily injured monstrosity.

With the creature so close to returning to the realm of the dead, Panther slammed her staff against the floor, wisping embers coiled around the haft of the magical rod. Uttering ancient arcane words, a flickering flame overtook the head of the staff and sent forth three scorching rays of fire toward the large-eyed creature. Two of the rays weren't even close to hitting, but one ray of flame did manage to strike its target. Shamefully, it wasn't exactly an impressive amount of damage.

“Nice!” Skull cheered her on.

The elf wasn’t pleased, though. “That’s it?! That barely did anything!”

As Panther and Ababila lost themselves to bickering about the effectiveness of the sorcerer's magic and how 'chance' factored into the effectiveness of her spells, it was Beauty Thief's time to shine! 

The goliath leaped up at the creature for another set of her signature devastating strikes. The first went exactly as expected. With brutal strength, she severed another tendril from the creature, but to everyone's surprise, her second attack only barely missed, which was a first.

“Darn it!” she cursed, adjusting her hat by the brim.

Whatever feelings of self-preservation that troubled mortal lives seemed of little concern to the mangled undead Begripper. Tendrils shot outward again, this time possessed by some unseen being's malice and frustration; it threatened to ensnare Panther. As they attempted to curl around the elf sorceress, the prickly barbs dug into her flesh. Paralytic venom surged through her body, threatening to leave her immobile. Remarkably, she fought through the pain and wrestled herself free from the creature's clutches completely unharmed.

It mattered little to the dying abomination. With only one option left, it desperately tried to maul Skull again. The half-orc did his best to evade the bite, but his reckless attacks earlier left him vulnerable, and the creature's teeth dug into his body once more. Skull actually seemed somewhat injured by the two deep bites he had received, but he forced the creature's mouth open with a hard kick and freed his lower body from the creature’s tooth-lined cavity.

"Death for this foul abomination draws near." Inari Bento II's voice was carried on a chill wind that billowed through the hall leading into the chamber. Cryptically, it warned, "It may yet try to resist and cling to this unlife which grips it now, but by the grace of the divine, you may fell this aberration."

There was a loud thump, as if someone had thrown a book at another person, only to miss and have the book slam into the floor.

"I do not believe your attack met or exceeded my armor class."

An unseen voice eerily similar to Ababila's came from the same hall as Inari Bento II's. It only had a spiteful retort for the deceased monk. “Bite me, Inari.”

"If you insist."

Electing to ignore the paranormal activity and unintelligible sputtering coming from the chamber's entrance, Joker knew that if he was lucky and landed a good hit, the Begripper would fall. 

As reliable as his hand crossbow was, Joker was far more confident with his signature weapon. Drawing his daggers, he took a deep breath and began his charge.

The creature was still floating just high enough off the ground that he couldn't reach it without leaping into the air. As his boots slammed into the ancient stonework beneath his feet, he bent his knees and sprung upwards.

Both daggers found their mark almost simultaneously, one digging into the monster's rotting flesh and the other burying itself deep in the creature's single cloudy eye. An eruption of viscera and rotten liquid spilled from the undead Begripper's wounds.

It shrieked and thrashed about violently as the blades dug into it, carving a bloody path as gravity pulled the rogue back toward the floor.

With the amount of damage it sustained from that attack, the creature trembled under Skull's weight and sagged in the air like a puppet that just had several strings cut.

Yet it still desperately clung to this state of unlife.

Persistently, the undead Begripper turned its tattered gaze to Joker. A low, growling snarl emanated from the creature as the rogue fell from its reach, and it lunged wildly for him.

Gnashing teeth went straight for his face. The Begripper opened its mouth wide and prepared to chomp down on its prey.

Joker pulled back as swiftly as he could, narrowly avoiding the devastating bite that missed his head by no more than a hair.

"Shit!" A breathless gasp left him as he narrowly avoided death.

He had no idea how this thing wasn't dead after his lethal blow.

"I've got you!" Queen called out, already in range of the boss.

Her blade briefly shimmered with a glint of radiant energy. If it would take divine favor to kill this thing, then the power of Queen's Paladin Oath may yield the key to putting this abomination back to rest.

Tossing her shield to the side, she let out a vengeful cry. The blade held tightly in her hand crackled with celestial might. Leaping upwards, sword raised high above her head, she struck downward in a powerful arcing motion. The sword sang a harmonious tune of steel ripping through stale dungeon air. Its edge met the rotting hide of the Begripper.

Particles of pale white embers wisped through the air from the wound as the blade eviscerated the monster, splitting it in half with a single decisive strike.

With a disgusting, wet, meaty thud, the two halves of the slain monster impacted the floor at the same time as the soles of Queen's boots.

They had won.

"... so did we level up?"

Notes:

Hello friends!

Morgana is a life cleric! and he does just look like his human form from Royal lmao - i love that human Mona is literally just slightly less disheveled Joker

not enough shumako in this one tbh - we'll make up for it soon enough! but i still had fun writing silly D&D shenanigans

We got a birthday in the chat! Big happy birthday to one of the crown catchers 👑 PhantomThiefDuelist!!!