Chapter Text
Sirin had always imagined her first kiss would be magical.
Even as she was held captive to be experimented on, even as her friends stopped returning to their cell, she had dreamt of a knight in shining armor taking her away and stealing a kiss that would leave her heart aflutter. And while that never happened the way she had imagined, she did not fail to notice the similarities between a princess and her knight, and a Queen and her dragon.
She hadn’t really gotten much time to explore these feelings - in the war against humanity, danger was always looming, and her unexplored feelings for the proud dragon standing by her side were forced to remain unexplored. Now, however, she felt like she had nothing left to lose - if Bella truly was a drifting soul on the brink of death, she might not get a second chance. She wanted Bella to understand she was here for her, wanted her to understand just how much she cared about her, even if Sirin herself had not even truly figured that out yet.
Sirin’s first kiss set her heart aflutter, but it was nothing like she imagined.
She didn’t lose herself on the soft texture of Bella’s lips, nor did she feel like she was floating. She did not taste sugar and she did not see stars.
Instead, she was drowning in a sea of anxiety, of worry and desperation. She wanted Bella to feel safe and happy, but she wasn’t sure if she could provide that. Powerful as she was, she didn’t know how stable this dream was, nor if she could find a way to get her dragon out in one piece. Rather than floating on the happy, romantic feeling she dreamt about, she was afraid - would Bella be receptive to this? Would she accept her feelings? Was she even in any place to do so, did her heart have room for such feelings? After just a moment, Sirin broke the kiss and looked in Bella’s eyes, looking for confirmation that this had been the right thing to do.
The dragon, for her part, had never contemplated romance. In truth, she wasn’t even sure if it was a feeling she was capable of, having no reference point to compare. She knew she loved her Queen more than anything, more than any human ever could - did that mean her love went beyond trivial human concepts like romance? She did not know. What she did know is that she had never allowed herself to have impure or possessive thoughts about her Queen. She was her Queen’s dragon, her loyal vassal. It did not befit her to have such thoughts, and she never wavered in this determination - until now.
Bella was taken by surprise when Sirin kissed her, and when she saw the uncertain expression the girl made afterwards, her thoughts halted, and a feeling reared its head from deep down inside her. She didn’t understand why her Queen would harbor such feelings for a failed minion. She didn’t understand why, and yet she knew it was the case. And surely, if even her Void Queen felt this way towards her, maybe it wasn’t so wrong to explore whatever these feelings could be?
She wasn’t sure where to begin however, so she asked the one reliable authority in her life.
“My Queen, what is..”
Unfortunately, this infallible being was staring at her with a most uncharacteristic expression, almost as if she was.. scared?
Bella tried to find the right words, then started over.
“My Queen, I don’t understand - what does this mean?”
Even more uncharacteristic, Sirin seemed to be hurt by this question, as her shoulders drooped, her expression shifted and she looked away. Before Bella could speak up again to apologize for whatever it was she did wrong, Sirin had gathered the last of her resolve and pushed on.
“I love you, that’s what this means. I’m in love with you. And I understand if you don’t feel that way about me, I won’t expect you to return my feelings, but if you even for a moment believe that you’re not worthy to be by my side then I’ll never forgive you. I.. I need you, Bella. Please don’t leave my side.”
Her Queen was crying now, and while this was all too much for her to understand so suddenly, one thing was crystal clear to the dragon. Her Queen was not letting go of her. Sirin was not letting go of her. So she, too, took a deep breath and a blind step forward into the darkness as she spoke. “My Queen..” She shook her head and interrupted herself. “No. Sirin . I don’t truly understand the intricacies of human love, but I know this: as your dragon, I love you more than any human has ever loved. Surely, whatever the love is you speak of, it must be in here too, somewhere.”
Sirin looked back up at her, holding her breath, eyes still clouded by fear - and yet Bella saw something else behind that fear, now. However cautious and fragile, there was hope in her eyes. And so, emboldened, Bella followed her beloved’s lead, put a hand to her cheek and kissed her.
Sirin’s second kiss set her heart aflutter just like the first, but was much more magical. While Bella was clumsy, her sincerity was even more obvious. Though Sirin was far too emotional to think of herself as floating, her heart did surely flutter at the raw emotion of her beloved dragon returning her feelings. And when Bella parted their kiss, looking as sheepish as a dragon possibly could, Sirin’s tearful expression had been wiped away and replaced by eyes sparkling at her through the remaining tears and a slightly flustered smile Bella swore to herself she would move mountains for.
Sirin nodded. “Yeah. We’ll figure it out, together.” The strength in her voice had returned, the fear had dissipated, and even though Bella had no idea what this exactly meant or how things would change between them, she knew she had made the right choice.
Cautiously, she tried to follow where that feeling would lead her, and pulled Sirin into an embrace. The girl’s face reddened even more before she hesitantly returned the embrace, closed her eyes and listened to the dragon’s strong and steady heartbeat, clearly audible over the faint tipper-tapper of the rain against her (their?) bedroom window. Slowly but surely, Bella could feel her Sirin’s heartbeat returning to a gentler pace, safe and sound in her arms. She felt good. Spurred on by long-denied draconic instincts, now finally sated, the dragon let out a soft, satisfied rumble - which made Sirin’s heart skip a beat once she noticed it. Is she purring? Dragons do that?!
Opting not to comment on this precious new knowledge, Sirin instead let her thoughts wander. She tried to reassure Bella, but instead ended up being the one comforted - and while things definitely turned out well for both of them, her pride demanded she formulate a plan of action, wanted to be in control again. What good was a Queen that could not even protect her servants?
She let go of Bella - after a short moment where the dragon seemed unwilling to do the same, followed by an embarrassed “ah!” and a quick step back - and took her hand. “We should look around a bit. It would help if we knew exactly what this dream consists of.”
Bella nodded. Scouting the territory! This much was completely natural for the dragon. She had done it all many times before. Flying high above the land below, identifying and removing threats, locating larger enemy forces, making sure the area around her nest was free of invaders-
Wait, that last part wasn’t quite right, Bella thought to herself. Still, she opted to ignore it and set her mind to the task again. She had to be alert and make sure she didn’t miss any threats to her Queen!
Walking back down the stairs together (one after the other, as Sirin’s level-headedness got the better of Bella’s desire to cling to her Sirin), their first territory to explore was the kitchen, now without their guardians-slash-sworn-enemies. A large kitchen table, a half dozen chairs, a fridge and a counter with a quietly chattering radio ( - get at least a day or two, evacuate - ). Nothing too special, and more importantly, nothing immediately threatening. Even better, before her Queen pulled her along, Bella spotted several large steaks in the fridge - a feast she vowed to claim her share of eventually.
The next room was unfamiliar to them both, and seemed to be the living room - but before either of the girls could look around, they were startled by a cry. Immediately on edge, Bella threw herself in front of Sirin and bared her fangs. If they thought the dragon would be lulled into a false sense of security, they clearly underestimated her!
However, to her surprise, Sirin pushed her aside and scolded her. “Shh! Not so loud, you’ll scare her!”
Looking closer, she spotted what her lover already had - a crib with a baby lying in it, looking at them with curious eyes. “Baa?”
Bella lowered her guard slightly and stood next to Sirin. “Is this a human young? It’s so small..”
The other girl giggled. “A baby, yes. I suppose she would be.. My sister, in this dream?”
She gently reached a finger towards the little girl, but before the girl could reach out to it, a polite cough interrupted them. The girl immediately beamed at this. “Mama!”
“Bella, you haven’t met little Kiana yet, have you?”
Without either of them noticing, Cecilia had shown up behind them.
Bella shook her head. “No, I think it’s my first time seeing a- seeing her. She’s so small..”
Cecilia smiled at her, slightly forced, and picked little Kiana up in her arms, out of reach of the dragon. She stood back just far enough to make some distance without making it seem too obvious, but to the dragon’s trained eye it was anything but subtle.
Cecilia’s discomfort was palpable, and for the very first time in her life, Bella felt she could understand and relate to a human. Even though the human did not recognize her (surely?) she still felt something was off, and her will to protect her young was far more powerful than her sense of hospitality.
The refusal to back down, the desire to protect no matter what - an emotion she too was very familiar with.
So, before she realized it, she had acted quite uncharacteristic of herself. She backed off slightly, grabbed onto Sirin’s hand and gave Cecilia the warmest smile she could muster. “She’s adorable. Ah, I bet she’ll be a beauty when she grows up, just like Sirin.”
Visibly relieved, Cecilia returned the smile. “I’m sure she will. Now if only she doesn’t catch too many of her dad’s bad habits..”
All of them giggled at this - even little Kiana let out some gleeful sounds.
“Ah, but i’m showing Bella around the house - that’s okay, right, mom?” Sirin hadn’t forgotten their mission.
“Of course, Sirin. I hope she can feel a little bit at home here too.”
Over the next few hours, the two explored the whole house from top to bottom. They let Siegfried be after they found him tinkering with his motorcycle in the garage (but not after Bella scanned the room very thoroughly), then looked around on the second floor, then the attic - which was incredibly dusty and only contained a few broken game consoles and other junk. And while they did find various weapons and other things Bella immediately identified as a threat, she still had to admit they weren’t meaningful dangers. Standard issue handguns for Siegfried, a sturdy but blunt training lance for Cecilia - entirely expected for warriors, but nothing that implied they were being lured into a trap.
Then Cecilia called them back down for dinner, and as much as the dragon held her guard up, she still couldn’t find anything. She even made sure to swap her plate, just in case it was poisoned. (“Ah, sorry, I’m allergic to.. Uh, orange vegetables?” Siegfried winked at her. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Cecilia you skipped your veggies!” as he swapped their plates. Sirin, much less wary, looked at her in amusement, leaned in to whisper “Carrots. They’re called carrots.”)
Then they finished dessert, in which Sirin had to once more reassure Bella that the ice cream was not poisoned despite the headache it gave her, even though Siegfried mocking her by calling it a ‘skill issue’ had surely been villainous. After she was done giggling, Sirin spoke up.
“Ah, mom, is it okay if I go outside for a bit with Bella? I just need some cool air, and to talk about.. You know.”
“Okay, sweetheart. Just make sure you dress warm, all right?”
Without questioning her Queen’s motives, Bella got up after her, put on her winter coat and boots (She had those? How odd..) then headed out right behind Sirin.
Once outside, Sirin reached for her hand and pulled her forward, giving her a smile that made Bella’s heart skip a beat, then started walking slowly through the snow.
It took a few minutes before either of them spoke up.
“I think it’s safe,” Sirin finally said.
“We looked everywhere without finding any hints of traps or danger, and they seem as sincere as they could be. They even keep their guards down the whole time, even though I could easily kill them. I think.. I really think they’re completely enraptured by the dream.”
“My queen-” She quickly corrected herself when Sirin squeezed her hand. “Um, My Sirin.” She didn’t notice the girl’s blush in the dim lantern light as she continued. “What do we do next?”
Sirin was silent for some time, but grabbed Bella’s arm, opting to walk arm in arm with her instead. “If it’s safe, and they are none the wiser.. I think we need to get you back to strength. I think I can use the dream to feed energy into you - it’s slow, but I can feel it.” She looked away for a second, and continued with a much quieter voice. “I don’t know if it’ll be enough, but I can’t bear losing you, Bella. Not now.”
Now it was Bella’s turn to hold Sirin a little closer, as something inside her stirred again. She sighed. “It’s hard for me to let my guard down with the enemy so close, but if you are certain, I will do my best to recover. It won’t do if I can’t protect my Que- my Sirin, after all.”
Then Sirin giggled, and only when the dragon looked at her did she notice ‘her Sirin’ was wearing a light pink, embarrassed expression. “Um, Bella, do you do that on purpose?”
Bella only tilted her head in confusion. “Actually, no, it’s okay. Just.. Keep doing that.”
Before the dragon could ask for an explanation, Sirin had stopped, turned to her girlfriend and kissed her.
For Sirin, this was nothing like their earlier kisses - no tears, no panic, no difficult emotions at all, just the warmth of her loyal Bella against her lips, and the warmth of her words in her heart. For just a moment, she thought that this was exactly like what she had dreamt of, before she lost herself in the gentle touch of Bella’s lips and the faint glow of her eyes against the backdrop of the night.
Then their lips parted, and for the first time in memory, Sirin felt truly happy. Walking back to the house, she felt like she was floating the whole time - if someone were to look, she was sure she wasn’t leaving footsteps in the snow anymore. Even Bella seemed a little different, but in a way that felt strangely comforting - the dragon had the faintest hint of a smile on her face, and was holding her close with an arm around her hip. Although she had to walk a little faster than normal to match her girlfriend’s pace, she didn’t mind at all. For once, she felt safe, she felt happy.
If only this dream could be reality.