Archive of Our Own ^beta

Sanji never wants them to find out, but the further they travel, it becomes increasingly more difficult to keep it a secret. He knows that none of his crew, not even Nami, has enough interest in the world's royal families to figure it out on their own, but that doesn’t mean they will never meet anyone that won't recognize his weird first name and the certain way his eyebrows curl.

It starts in Whiskey Peak, barely two weeks after he joins Luffy, when they meet Miss Wednesday. Sanji recognizes her immediately but keeps his mouth shut. There’s no reason for him to know Nefertari Vivi, the princess of Alabasta. He met her exactly once, as a little boy, when his mother was still alive and their kingdom went to the Levely for the first and only time.

He’s seen her from afar, admiring her relationship with her father and the way everyone around her seemed to love her dearly. It wasn't jealousy for something he never had, it was more astonishment that a family could be like this when his was so vastly different.

They didn’t speak to each other, never even made eye contact, but when Vivi joins them to save her kingdom from Crocodile, Sanji sees her glancing at him more than once when she thinks he isn’t paying attention. He tries to ignore it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

His crew thinks his principle of not wasting food starts with his little stunt on that rock in the middle of nowhere. It really starts much earlier though, in a dark dungeon in the North Blue, where his only companions are some rats that need to be fed too. He learns quickly that food is scarce and not to be wasted if he wants all of his friends and himself to eat.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

King Cobra is the first to ever question him, right after they save his country and his daughter and Luffy rested enough to be able to stay awake again while he’s eating.

He takes Sanji aside with the excuse of wanting to show him the kitchen, but they never make it there, only stepping out of the room and into a nearby corridor that looks unused and unguarded.

“Sanji-san”, he starts and his voice is kind and quiet, like it has been since they arrived on Alabasta, but there’s something else to it, something authoritative like only a king can sound.

“I was worried, when we first met.”, he admits and turns away from Sanji to look out of the nearby window. “I wondered if this was another plot to destroy my kingdom from the inside, if Germa suddenly formed an alliance with Crocodile and what their reasons would be.”

Sanji freezes at the words, staring at the side of the king’s face in horror. No one is supposed to find out, to recognize him. But it makes sense, he supposes, he recognized Vivi too, after all.

“But then you fought alongside your friends and saved my country, without ever indicating some ill intent and I wonder…” He turns sideways again, looking at Sanji with an expression he doesn’t know how to interpret. “What is a Vinsmoke doing on a pirate ship?”

Not caring that they’re inside the castle, Sanji lights a cigarette and turns to look out the same window Cobra has been watching his country from just minutes ago. The sun is shining but the clouds in the distance promise another bout of rain soon.

“I’m not a Vinsmoke.”, Sanji answers after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. “Not anymore, anyway.” King Cobra just keeps looking at him, waiting patiently for Sanji to continue.

“I left that life behind me a decade ago. I’m not royalty, I’m not a prince anymore. My father is Red Leg Zeff and I’m a pirate.” Sanji finally looks at Cobra again, the expression on his face daring the king to disagree. The man just stares at him for a long moment, but apparently not finding what he was looking for, he nods to himself with a small, satisfied smile.

“That’s… good.”, he says and that’s all, letting his gaze drift out over the city again for a moment, before he turns to go back to the banquet hall. Sanji stays standing where he is until Cobra almost leaves the corridor they’re in.

“You…”, he starts and the king stops and turns back around. “Could you please not mention anything to my friends?”

Cobra silently looks at him again, before he nods and smiles. “Don’t worry, Sanji-san. This is not my story to tell.” With that, he turns around and disappears around the corner, leaving Sanji to stare after him, daring to believe he said the truth.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When Nico Robin joins them, demands to be on their crew, she looks at him as if he’s not supposed to be here, on this ship, the Going Merry. As if he’s a threat just by standing on the deck, calmly smoking his cigarette while looking out over the ocean.

She’s distrusting towards all of them, but Sanji might be the worst. He’s as nice to her as to any other woman, but her eyes are calculating whenever she looks at him and she’s never found alone with him anywhere.

Nico Robin is a very smart woman, has travelled far and must have heard a lot of stories on her journey, so Sanji can guess why she’s treating him like this. The kingdom of Germa must not be a foreign monarchy to her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He almost reveals everything by total accident once, on Jaya.

They find the house of Mont Blanc Cricket, or what they think must be it, but the man is nowhere to be found and the little shed is empty. While looking around, Sanji finds an old children’s book on a table outside and recognizes the cover. His breath stutters as his heart squeezes in his chest.

His mother loved reading "Liar Nolan" to him, one of the only really popular stories for children in the North Blue. When she was having a good day, he would climb up onto her bed and snuggle into her side, looking at the pictures while his mother read him the story he knew by heart by the time he was five. When she died, he burned the book.

Looking at it now brings him back to that cold, cold castle and that one warm, warm room, with the gentle hugs and the soothing smile.

He wipes the heartbreak from his face before his friends can see his expression and readily answers the questions of what he found and why he knows the story.

"I'm from North Blue, did I never tell you?", he says when they ask and look at him surprised for a moment, before just accepting it and moving on. He's glad Robin isn't with them, she would've seized that as an opportunity to finally ask the questions he knows are burning on her tongue.

When they fish the half dead Cricket out of the water, they soon enough forget about his birthplace.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It takes travelling to Skypiea and almost being killed by Enel for Robin to start trusting him. She never asks him anything or voices what’s going through her head whenever she looks at him, but her eyes become warmer and her stance more relaxed whenever he speaks to her.

Maybe the concept of a Vinsmoke sacrificing his life for pirates by trying to take on a god with the power to call lightning from the sky convinced her he isn't a spy or has some other ill intentions towards the strawhats.

Sanji doesn’t question it and never confronts her. Robin isn’t the type of person to throw someone’s secrets out in the open just for the fun of it, so Sanji knows his past is safe with her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It’s not that he never wants to tell them. He has thought about it a lot of times, imagined their reactions, good and bad and terrible, but even on his most optimistic days, he can’t bring himself to say anything.

It doesn’t matter, not anymore, and even though he would love to tell his friends, his new family, about his mother, everything connected to her is tainted and painful and Sanji is content with his crew believing that Zeff is everything he ever had.

At the end of the day, it’s not even wrong.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When you're locked up in a dungeon for long parts of your childhood, the world outside feels fascinating even after years of freedom.

Sanji loves standing on Merry's deck, right by the galley door, watching the sunrise when everyone else is still sleeping. The expanse of the ocean has something calming, something soothing. Like a warm room in a cold castle.

His friends think his dream is finding the All Blue and while that's true in some sense, it entails being free, being able to roam the world and the seas.

Finding the All Blue is a wish, but freedom might just be Sanji's biggest dream after all.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Luffy defeats Enel and rings the golden bell and after it, when it's the next morning and the feast is over, Sanji looks out over the ocean of clouds and thinks that the one 10.000 metres down is more beautiful. He asks himself: If he would just stay up here forever, would they ever find him?

The Vinsmokes don't believe in fairy tales, but they believe in the possible and the existence of an island in the sky is not something they would put down as a fantasy.

They also believe he’s a failure, have only allowed him to escape on that fateful day 12 years ago under the condition to never tell anyone about his connection to the Germa kingdom. Most days, Sanji is sure they would never search for him. But then he thinks about his biological father and remembers his unpredictability and spends the rest of those days trying not to panic.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Just when they think the shitshow with Foxy is over, they encounter admiral Aokiji and Robin right out panics.

No one has ever seen her like this, her usual calm and composed demeanour completely lost in the face of her fear of the admiral.

When the man wants to take Robin, they fight, too weak against the power of a Logia user, but they won’t go down without trying.

In the moment between Robin getting completely frozen and Luffy attacking in rage, Aokiji stares at Sanji for a long moment, his gaze piercing. Sanji feels an unpleasant shiver run down his spine that isn’t caused by the ice all around them. Aokiji looks at him as if he’s trying to puzzle something out and it makes Sanji’s blood freeze. He can’t have such a high ranking marine know who he is.

But then Luffy attacks again, tries to throw a punch that’s blocked, and Aokiji averts his eyes in favor of concentrating on their captain again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The panic Sanji feels on that sea train in the face of CP9 and no chance of helping Robin isn't anything new, nothing he never felt before, but it's been a while.

Reminds him of his younger self locked in the dungeons, of those fateful weeks on that rock in the middle of the ocean. He vowed to himself, back then, that he would become strong, would never let anyone try to decide about his fate again.

When their waggons are left behind, Usopp shouting after Robin and Franky, and Sanji just looks at her, sees the fear and the panic and the defeat in her eyes, his anger, the disappointment in her, just evaporates and his own panic numbs his mind.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It’s liberating, standing on the Tower of Justice, seeing the flag of the World Government burst into flames before their eyes. Sanji feels invincible in that moment, untouchable by anything, even his birth family.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When Robin is free and the Going Merry is gone, the loss hurting everyone and Usopp probably the most, they go back to Water Seven and Sanji tries to get rid of any lingering anxiety by cooking the feast of his life.

While dishing out his food, he feels someone's stare burn holes into his head but tries not to let it bother him. In a quiet moment, Sanji looks around discreetly.

Iceberg is standing on the other side of the swimming pool, looking at him as if he’s the next worst thing right after the CP9 and Spandam. Sanji can’t even fault him for it but it still annoys him. He's not a Vinsmoke anymore.

When the partying has died down late into the night and only a few people are still awake but mostly drunk, Sanji walks over to where Iceberg is still sober and watching Franky snore into the ground. From the corner of his eyes, he sees the mayor of Water Seven tense.

"I know what you're wondering.", Sanji begins and blows out a puff of smoke as he stares up into the dark night sky. "But I haven't been a Vinsmoke for over a decade now."

Turning his head to look at Sanji like a deer caught in the headlights, Iceberg looks a little ashamed but quickly hides his expression underneath careful indifference.

"I'm not going to lie, I was starting to worry. I don't think anyone here could take on a Germa assassin right now."

"I'm not Germa.", Sanji hisses, his tone probably more biting than he intended to. Iceberg just looks at him for a long moment, his eyes piercing.

"Who are you, then?", he asks, his voice free of judgment.

"Blackleg Sanji.", Sanji answers. "A strawhat pirate." He doesn't know what his face looks like as he stares at the other man, but it must be convincing because Iceberg just nods, satisfied, and lets his gaze sweep back over the backyard.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Only a few hours later, they meet vice admiral Garp, Luffy's grandfather.

Between the commotion he causes and Luffy's and Zoro's reunion with two old friends, the old man looks at him calculatingly but doesn't say a word. Sanji feels the warning nevertheless.

When Luffy and Zoro catch up with Coby and Helmeppo outside and Garp tries to fix the wall of the house he smashed in, Sanji is on his way to his captain with some drinks and snacks when the vice admiral suddenly addresses him.

“Germa 66 hasn’t made an appearance in a long time.”, he says, not bothering to look at Sanji. “I thought your father was laying low in the North Blue.”

Tensing, it takes Sanji some serious effort to not let the tray full of glasses slip from his hand.

“My father is Redleg Zeff.”, he answers, his tone harsh. This might be Luffy’s grandfather, but he’s still a marine. “And I’m Luffy’s cook.”

Garp only hums in response, his hand never losing his rhythm in hammering nails into the wall. It’s silent for a long moment, Sanji waiting in dreadful suspense for another comment, when the older man suddenly puts the hammer down.

“Vinsmoke Judge has always been an asshole.”, Garp says then and grins when Sanji only looks at him in bewilderment. For a moment, the resemblance to Luffy is unmistakable.

When Garp picks the hammer back up, Sanji only snorts in response and continues on his way to Luffy and Zoro.

“Finally, we’re on the same page.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

On the bad days, Sanji hates the dark, stays up all night in the warm light of his kitchen and prepares the next day's breakfast, lunch and dinner.

On the really terrible days, his head is heavy from the iron mask that isn't there anymore and he feels so claustrophobic, he can barely stay in the galley, has to actively stop his hands from shaking so he doesn't cut his fingers off.

It’s hard to pretend, on those days, under the watchful eyes of his crew. It’s hard because he knows they would care, even without knowing the reason for his behavior.

On the really terrible days though, Sanji also dreams of his nakama bruised and beaten and dead at the feet of the Vinsmokes and it’s all it takes for him to keep his mouth shut and his feelings hidden.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sometimes, Zoro reminds him of his brothers.

There's the physical aspect, the green hair of Yonji and the strong muscles of Ichiji. There's the bloodlust and strength all three of them have.

But most of the time, he sees Zoro, his rival and friend, and is reminded that he's not like his brothers, may possess the same strength and some resemblance, but Zoro is everything good that the Vinsmokes are not.

Sometimes that’s enough to keep the memories at bay.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The thing is, his crew somehow knows.

Not about him being a Vinsmoke, Sanji is going to take that secret to his grave if he has any say. But they somehow know his triggers and notice his good and bad and terrible days and Sanji has no clue how.

As much as they all like to play around, some more than others, they never step over his boundaries, know not to mess with his kitchen or his hands or the way he hates having something put on his head without his consent.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When people tell him he’s kind, it’s almost more of a compliment as when they tell him his food is great. For his cooking, he trained long and hard to get to the skill level he is at right now. But you can’t train kindness, it’s a character trait that develops on its own or gets passed down and Sanji knows he got it from exactly two people. His mother and Zeff.

He’s eight years old and barely in Zeff’s care when they rent a small house in a little village while waiting for their restaurant to be built. After finally getting off that damn rock, they made all the gold they had to money and hired a few shipwrights to build them a swimming restaurant. Zeff has taken on a job in a small bistro for the few months it’s going to take until they can board their new ship.

While Zeff is away from morning to afternoon, Sanji is left to his own devices. Their little house is located on the edge of the small village, right beside a large meadow. On most days, Sanji cares for their house and sits on the bench in front of it, just enjoying his freedom.

In the weeks since their rescue, Sanji and Zeff have grown into a comfortable relationship. The older man is quiet and sometimes prickly, but he treats him with a gentleness no one ever did before. The cooks on the Orbit were nice but often didn't know what to do with him and with his birth family being his only other experience before that, Sanji often doesn't know what to do with Zeff's behaviour.

The man makes sure he eats enough and then some, to gain back the weight they've both lost. He tucks him into bed in the evening - much to Sanji's embarrassment in the first few weeks - and wakes him up in the morning with breakfast already waiting on their small kitchen table.

At first, Sanji thinks it's pity, this kindness Zeff is showing him. When they met, he wasn't like that, or at least he didn't show it. But then the whole mess on that rock happened and now, Zeff is taking him out to the market or to the small bistro he's working at and Sanji sees that the other villagers absolutely love him. He has a kind word for everybody and helps out anyone that needs it and if Sanji didn't know he's a pirate, he wouldn't have believed it. Zeff is still gruff in nature, but just underneath, so very close to the surface, he's kind and gentle and nice.

So after everything Sanji has experienced and inherited from his mother, he observes and learns and vows to be kind too.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

They’ve barely made it out of Water Seven when they get stuck in the Florian Triangle. When they meet Brook and Luffy promises him to get his shadow back for him, Sanji and the rest of their crew just take it in stride, not knowing yet that the Thriller Bark will be one of their hardest tests to date.

They beat Oz and Moria with more effort than they would have liked and get their shadows back at the last second. Luffy is absolutely exhausted after using two of his newest techniques and the rest of them are not far off after giving it their all to take down Oz.

So when Bartholomew Kuma, another warlord, suddenly turns up with the goal to hand Luffy over to the World Government, they rightfully panic. None of them are in the shape to fight another warlord, but as always, they won’t go down without trying.

Ten minutes later, only Sanji and Zoro are still conscious.

When the green-haired idiot offers himself up in exchange for Luffy, Sanji unsteadily stumbles to his feet, his suit torn and his body hurting all over. He steps right in front of Zoro and tries to convince Kuma to take him instead of Luffy or their swordsman, but all he gets for his efforts is one of Zoro’s swords to the ribs and an apologetic look from the first mate.

When he opens his eyes again, the rest of their crew is awake too and Luffy is jumping all over the place, a puzzled Chopper trying to figure out why he can move like that with the amount of injuries he has. Sanji is lying some metres away, his blood running cold at seeing his captain in a state that should be impossible.

Ignoring his own hurting body, he jumps up and starts running, searching for Kuma and Zoro. He doesn't know how long he’s been unconscious for but even a few minutes could have been fatal. Zoro is strong, but not strong enough yet to take down Bartholomew Kuma.

When Sanji finally finds the swordsman, he’s standing in a pool of his own blood, his shirt torn and his hair more red than anything else. It’s a miracle he’s even standing at all and as soon as Sanji starts talking to him frantically and Zoro tells him “nothing happened”, the swordsman collapses in his arms.

It feels like a rib is stabbing his lungs when Sanji tries to stand up with 200 pounds of limp muscle in his arms and almost immediately loses his grip on Zoro again when Bartholomew Kuma suddenly appears in front of him.

Sanji stands with Zoro in his arms and tries to muster every ounce of confidence he has. He knows he doesn’t stand a chance against the warlord, but he won’t let him hurt any of his nakama even more.

“Blackleg Sanji.”, Kuma says in his eerily quiet voice and Sanji tenses. “Maybe I should really take you instead of your friends. The World Government has tried for years now to get their hands on a Vinsmoke.”

Sanji’s blood runs cold, right out freezes in his veins, while his heart starts to race. What the hell is he supposed to do now? King Cobra knowing who he is doesn’t matter and he has some kind of understanding with Garp. But besides Aokiji, a warlord is probably one of the worst people to know about his birth family.

“I don’t know what you mean.”, Sanji answers, his voice like steel and the weight of Zoro heavy in his arms. He feels his friend’s blood seep into his torn suit and he fears if Kuma keeps him for a minute longer, Zoro is going to bleed out in his arms.

Kuma is silent for a long moment, his eyes hidden behind his dark glasses, but Sanji feels him staring at him nonetheless. When he suddenly takes off one of his gloves, Sanji tenses even more, ready to drop Zoro just to defend him. But instead of attacking, Kuma steps closer and puts his hand to Zoro’s chest.

“Don’t touch him!”, Sanji shouts, about to pull Zoro away from the warlord, when a small, red bubble in the form of a paw is pulled out of the swordsman. Sanji stares at it in astonishment and silently questions what he’s looking at.

“Roronoa wouldn’t have died. Probably.”, Kuma explains, letting the weird bubble disappear with a push of his hand. “But that was some of his pain.”

For a second, Sanji just stares back at him, before he finally registers that the warlord is still standing way too close for his liking. Quickly, he puts a few metres of distance between them.

“Why would you help, after all that you’ve done?!”, Sanji questions loudly, disbelief colouring his tone.

“I knew your father.”, Kuma answers and Sanji prepares to hear Vinsmoke Judge’s name. “Redleg Zeff.”, he says instead and disappears a second later, leaving Sanji speechless and in disbelief behind.

Just then, Zoro grunts in pain and Sanji is thrown back to the matter at hand. Pushing Kuma to the back of his mind, he turns around and starts running towards where he last saw Chopper.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sanji starts thinking of Zeff as his father about a year after they meet. He’s ten by then and the Baratie is slowly establishing itself as one of the best restaurants in the East Blue.

They never talk about it and Sanji never calls him dad, but he secretly hopes Zeff feels the same and sees him as his son.

It comes to a head when pirates and marines start to frequent their restaurant more and more often. They usually don’t make a difference between their guests, as long as they behave and pay for their meals. The problems arise when their guests start conflicts between each other.

Zeff is a strong man, even with one leg now missing, and he’s not above beating whoever causes a ruckus in their restaurant, whether it be pirate, marine or a normal citizen.

Patty and Carne are their newest and first addition to their team and while Sanji is wary of them, like he’s wary of any strangers, Zeff just takes them as they are. As it turns out after their first few shifts, they are as willing as their boss to beat up any- and everyone.

It happens a few months after Patty and Carne start working at the Baratie. Sanji has warmed up to their rough natures considerably since then, so much that Zeff is comfortable enough to leave him alone with them for a morning while he takes their supply boat to a nearby island to buy fresh fish.

They aren’t even open yet when a small marine ship pulls up beside them. Sanji is placing cutlery on the tables in their big dining room when a cocky captain steps in and demands breakfast, even though it’s well known by now that they open in the late afternoon.

Sanji is still an anxious kid, shying away from confrontation more often than not and flinching when someone raises their voice. But if there’s something he has learned in the year since meeting Zeff, than it’s a small portion of confidence, however false it might be. He won’t take shit from a wannabe marine captain barging into his home.

“We’re still closed, sir.”, Sanji says politely and puts down the cutlery in his hands.

Apparently amused by a child telling him no, the man sits down at one of the tables and laughs. “Do I look like I care, boy? Bring me something to eat.”

Sanji’s hands clench at the way the man brings his carefully placed knives and forks and spoons into disarray. “You can come back in the evening, sir, the kitchen is still closed.”

Not liking Sanji’s answer, the man stands up, a scowl now on his face.

“Do you even know who you’re talking to, brat?”, the marine says loudly and in all his childish innocence, Sanji tells the truth.

“No.”

Seething now in rage, the older man grabs him by the front of his cooking uniform, just when the door to the kitchen bursts open and Patty and Carne stumble into the dining room, having heard the commotion.

“Hey, what’s going on here?”, Patty questions upon seeing Sanji in the grip of a random marine.

“Teach this brat some manners! I’m a marine captain!”

“Let me go!” Struggling to get out of the marine’s strong hold, Sanji feels himself being lifted into the air, right to the eye level of the older man.

“I’m demanding some food right this second!”, he screams. “Maybe I’ll let this go without an official report then.”

Making eye contact with Patty and Carne, Sanji shakes his head, silently asking them not to give in. This is not how Zeff would want this to go, they’re not running the Baratie like this.

It takes a long moment for the two chefs to answer, apparently silently contemplating the best plan of action. When Carne finally speaks, it’s to the relief of Sanji and the outrage of the marine.

“The kitchen is still cold, sir. Please let go of the boy and we’re willing to reserve a table for you this evening.”

Already knowing that was the wrong thing to say for the marine captain, Sanji braces himself for the man’s reaction.

“How dare you deny me food over some worthless kitchen boy?!”

Letting go of him with one hand, the marine reaches for the back of his pants to pull a gun from his waistband. Leveling it at Sanji, the blonde freezes in his struggle to get free of the man’s hold, tears gathering in his eyes. He doesn’t want to die now that his life is finally nice and good.

“Hey!”, he distantly hears Patty protest. “Let him go!”

“If you go back to your kitchen and make me a nice breakfast, maybe I’ll consider letting the boy live after all.” The marine grins threateningly and Sanji feels the tears run down his cheeks.

“Let me go!”, he whimpers and struggles in the man’s hold once again, only to get the gun now pressed directly to his forehead.

“Sanji!”, Carne calls and his sudden panic doesn’t make Sanji more confident in his survival.

“Patty, Carne!”, he cries, his hand trying to pry the fingers of the marine off his shirt.

“What are you waiting for?!” The gun digs harder into Sanji’s skin at the man’s demand and the blonde only cries harder at the pain.

Suddenly, like the blessing that he already is to Sanji’s life, the door to the Baratie opens and Zeff steps in, a heavy bag with fish slung over his shoulder.

“I’m back!”, he calls, unusually excited and still unaware of the scene in front of him. “Sanji, look at this fish I found! The last time I’ve seen it-”

He cuts himself off when he finally looks up, his face immediately turning into a scowl.

“What’s going on here?”, Zeff says, his tone intentionally controlled.

“Boss!”, Patty calls, relief colouring his voice.

“Are you the owner of this restaurant?”, the marine demands, looking at Zeff with barely contained disdain.

"Yes, I am. And you are?”

“Captain Bullflower.”, the marine bites out through clenched teeth. “Your staff is refusing to do their jobs. If I wanted to, I could close this whole restaurant down in a day.”

Barely able to contain a laugh, Zeff snorts through his nose and puts the bag of fish down. “We’re not opening before 5pm, sorry to disappoint you.”

Captain Bullflower, still seething in anger, presses the gun a little harder to Sanji’s head, making the boy cry out in pain. Zeff immediately loses all humor in his expression and straightens a bit more, his eyes zeroing in on Sanji and the tears streaming down his face.

Oblivious to it all, the marine turns to Zeff. “I know who you are, Redleg Zeff. If you don’t want me to arrest you, you better get yourself behind a stove.” Hiking Sanji up a bit more, the gun presses into his skin hard enough now to draw blood. “Or I’ll just blow this boy’s brains out, maybe that will get you moving.”

Not trusting for a second that the man is lying or won’t hurt him, Sanji feels his hands shake in fear. He’s almost crying hysterically now, his vision so blurry, he can only make out Zeff’s outlines.

“Dad!”, he suddenly cries, his panic finally overwriting any control he has of the words coming out of his mouth. “Dad, I don’t want to die! Please help me!”

Zeff’s eyes widen in surprise for a fraction of a second, but Sanji sees it nevertheless and wonders if he said something wrong, if Zeff even feels the same. But then the older man’s face hardens and he takes a step closer, radiating nothing but fury.

“I’m only going to say this once.”, he says, his voice carefully controlled. “You better let my son go right this second.”

When Captain Bullflower has the audacity to laugh in Zeff’s face, the kick the ex-pirate delivers to his face is too quick for him to even consider dodging. Sanji falls to the ground with a thud, not wasting a second to scramble away from the marine captain and towards Patty and Carne.

Only when the two cooks push him protectively behind them does Sanji have the courage again to peek out from behind their legs. The marine is holding his bleeding nose, his gun lying a few feet beside him. Just when he’s about to sit up, Zeff delivers another kick to his chest, sending him crashing into one of their dining tables.

The man lies there motionless for a moment, but when Zeff steps close, his wooden leg only centimetres from his head, Sanji can see the tremble in his whole body. Zeff grabs him by his lapels, his mouth only inches from the man’s ear when he says something too quiet for anyone but the marine captain to hear.

A second later, Zeff drops him to the ground and steps back, the man not wasting a second to scramble up and limp away, his gun totally forgotten as he even leaves the door standing wide open. His ship is gone in minutes.

When Zeff turns around to make sure Sanji is okay, the blonde boy is already running out from behind Patty and Carne’s legs and towards Zeff’s waiting arms. He just managed to stop crying, but when the older blonde hugs him close, the tears spill over again.

That is the first and only time Zeff doesn’t feed a hungry person. The next day, he starts teaching Sanji to fight with everything but his hands.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sanji knows who Silvers Rayleigh is, of course he does. What he’s not prepared for is for the Dark King to know him too.

When they’ve managed to save Camy from being auctioned off, they regroup in Shakky’s bar so Chopper can treat Hachi’s wounds and the Navy gets thrown off their path.

Shakky has been looking at him from the corner of her eyes for a while now and Sanji tries to ignore it in favor of listening to the conversation between Rayleigh and Luffy. It’s not really a surprise that their captain doesn’t know Gol D. Roger’s vice captain and the first mate seems to just take it in stride, not really caring about his fame.

It’s in a lull of the conversation, when Luffy starts plundering Shakky’s fridge, that Rayleigh suddenly turns to Sanji, an easy smile still on his lips, but a calculating glint in his eyes. Sanji straightens on the bar stool he’s sitting on and feels a ball of dread in his stomach.

“Say, Sanji…”, the older pirate starts and leans forward a bit. “You’re from the North Blue, right?”

Taking a drag from his cigarette to hide his suddenly shaking hands, Sanji chances a glance at Shakky and sees the same knowing look on her face that Rayleigh is wearing right now.

“Yes, that’s right.”, he eventually answers and looks the other pirate straight in the eyes. It must be an unconscious move on his part, but the sudden hand Rayleigh places on the hilt of the sword at his hip looks more than threatening and Sanji’s chest feels a little tight.

“But I’ve grown up in the East Blue.”, he adds, trying to keep his composure. “My father owns a restaurant there.”

The rest of the crew doesn’t seem to notice anything strange yet, so Sanji feels secure in his acting skills and lights another cigarette.

“Your father?”, Rayleigh asks, his tone now confused and Sanji almost laughs. It must feel ridiculous to try to connect Vinsmoke Judge with being a cook and Sanji is glad it’s far from the truth. He couldn’t bear to share any more similarities with the man than he already does. The same hair colour is enough.

“Yes. Redleg Zeff.” He hasn’t even spoken the words out loud completely when Rayleigh’s attitude takes a full turn for the better and his eyes light up in joy.

“Zeff is your father?”, he asks, still a little disbelieving, like he can’t quite add up the picture of Zeff as a father with the one he must still have in his head of him as a pirate.

He simply nods in answer, his shoulders relaxing a little when thinking of the old geezer. He should really write a letter to the Baratie soon again, it has been far too long since the last.

Rayleigh just laughs a little in disbelief, before diving straight into a tale about Redleg Zeff and his aid in one of the Roger pirates’ adventures. Zeff has never mentioned knowing the pirate king, so after another few minutes of waiting for the bomb to drop and nothing happening, Sanji excitedly takes in everything Rayleigh is willing to share about his father. From the corner of his eye, he notices Shakky smiling at him softly.

It’s almost unreal how only hours later, they lose spectacularly against Bartholomew Kuma once again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kamabakka Kingdom on Momoiro Island is hell for Sanji. Even more so when Emporio Ivankov, ruler of the kingdom, finally comes back from the war at Marineford.

When Ivankov tells him about Ace’s death and he sees Luffy’s picture in the newspaper, asking them to meet again in two years instead of three days, they finally come to some kind of agreement.

Weeks later, when Sanji has finally beaten the first of the 99 Masters of Newkama Kenpo, Ivan comes to find him. Still wary of him, Sanji waits silently for the other to say something first.

“You know, when I first saw you, Sanji-boy, I thought Germa 66 has infiltrated my country.”

Feeling a sudden ball of dread in the pit of his stomach, Sanji just stares at Ivan. By now, he knows that the queen of Kamabakka is part of the revolutionary army and he’s not sure how to feel about someone like him knowing about his family background.

“But then I saw you fight.”, Ivan continues. “And your style is nothing like that of the Vinsmoke family. You do look a lot like your father, though.”

That sparks annoyance in Sanji. He does look a lot like his father, but not the biological one.

“My father is a pirate.”, he grits out through clenched teeth. “He owns a restaurant in the East Blue.”

Apparently surprised, Ivan just stares at him for a moment, his gaze piercing. When he doesn’t find what he seems to be looking for, his posture relaxes considerably.

“I see.”, he says, looking into the far distance where the beach is just visible behind a line of trees. “If you don’t mind me asking… Did they do something to you?”

Not knowing if Ivan means possible body modifications Germa is famous for or some other trauma inducing things, Sanji opts for answering as casually as possible.

“They did enough.”, he says, not looking at Ivan, even when he feels his eyes on him. “I left and got disowned when I was eight. Met my dad when I was nine. Met my crew when I was 19.”

Ivan is still silent beside him and when Sanji finally looks at him, he looks compassionate in his usual over dramatic way.

“They’re all I need.”, he adds and for the first time since Ivan came to find him, Sanji smiles.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sometimes, Sanji flinches when someone raises their voice or makes an unexpected, hectic motion in his direction. It’s something he never grew out of, even after years with Zeff.

It doesn’t happen often, only a few times during his journey with the strawhats and mostly only when he’s totally relaxed and one of his crewmates suddenly speaks loudly, louder than normally, or he notices a sudden motion out of the corner of his eye.

When it does happen, he tries to gloss over it, tries to act like he just didn’t violently flinch away from Chopper of all people, or stumbled a step back from the kitchen counter because Robin just wanted to help and sprouted a sudden hand beside him. When Nami startles him with scolding Luffy and Usopp, he covers up the fact that he almost let a tray full of glasses slip from his hand, and when Zoro’s reflexes are just a tad bit quicker than his own when they spar and an attack catches him off guard, it takes everything in him to simultaneously defend himself and cover up the spark of panic in his chest.

He knows the more perceptive ones of his crew notice these moments. At one point, it will be inevitable to tell them about it, but until now, he always managed to deflect from their tries.

Hiding the scars is simultaneously easier and harder, though.

Easier, because they all have scars and know which ones are from the more serious injuries.

Harder, because Chopper is the best doctor they could have found and he knows which scars are old and which are from newer wounds. The reindeer is the only one who knows someone who isn’t Zeff or anyone else from the Baratie repeatedly beat him as a child and that’s already more than Sanji wants him to know.

He’s good at hiding everything he doesn’t want his nakama to see but it’s almost impossible to hide scars on his hands. They know his hands are the most precious things to him and knowing they got hurt at some point doesn’t sit well with any of them.

Small scars from nicking himself with a knife when he was younger and still learning how to cook can be explained fairly easily. But a big patch of paler skin right in the middle of the back of his right hand looks way more serious.

When he is seven and already locked up in the dungeons and that horrendous iron mask, his brothers find it especially funny to stab a knife into his hand, not even far enough for it to come out on his palm. They just let it sit in the back of his hand, leaving him to having to pull it out himself after they finally leave. The wound never healed properly, the skin now raised and ugly, the scar jagged at the edges and paler than the rest of his skin.

When his crew finally asks after the meaning of it, it’s during their daily dinner, everyone gathered around the table while Sanji is bringing some last bowls and dishes before he sits down too. He reaches past Luffy to put a bowl of potatoes on the table, when his captain suddenly pauses in wolfing down a piece of meat, sharp eyes zeroing in on his hand.

“Sanji.”, he says then, his tone far more serious than just moments ago, catching the attention of the rest of the crew. “What’s that scar on the back of your hand? What happened?”

For a second, it really feels like his heart stops in his chest, before it starts beating at double the speed. The bowl in his hand slips out of his fingers and clatters the last few centimetres down to the table, spilling its contents in the process.

For a long moment, it’s deadly silent, everyone staring at the potatoes rolling off the table. It’s not like him to spill any food, always so careful not to waste anything. Sanji feels his face heating at the same time as an uncomfortable ball of guilt drops into the pit of his stomach. By now, Luffy almost looks as guilty as Sanji is feeling for wasting food, so the blonde quickly retracts his hand and ignores the urge to hide the scarred limb behind his back.

“It’s an old stab wound.”, he answers then, the others now looking surprised he even acknowledged Luffy’s question at all. He doesn’t plan on elaborating any further than that, so he just reaches forward again to clean the mess on and around the table.

He still feels his cheeks burn as he picks up a small potato and drops it in the now empty bowl, trying not to look at any of his friends.

“I’m sorry guys, I’ll make some new ones right away, just continue eating, it’ll just take a seco-” Before he can finish eating, Luffy reaches forward with his fork and quickly stabs it into a potato, before shoving it into his mouth. While Sanji freezes at that, it seems to be just the right thing for the others to start moving again, just to repeat what Luffy did only moments ago.

Zoro, Brook and Usopp reach down to pick up some of the potatoes that rolled off the table, while the others stab the ones lying between the other dishes onto their forks.

“These are delicious, Sanji!”, Chopper exclaims happily after taking a bite, the other chiming in to back the doctor up. Sanji is still standing unmoving beside Luffy, the rubber cheeks of his captain now stuffed full with potatoes. There’s an emotion swirling in his chest he can’t quite decipher, a weird mix of gratitude, the guilt from earlier and a sudden all encompassing love for his crew.

“Sit down, cook.”, Zoro grunts then and Sanji is still too stunned to do anything but comply, finally sinking into the empty chair between Luffy and Usopp. Conversation around the table soon starts up again and Sanji silently looks around, his plate the only one still empty.

Suddenly, he feels eyes on him and turns his head, only to meet Luffy’s sharp eyes. His captain still looks guilty and he’s the only one that hasn’t started eating again, but there’s a soft smile on his face and Sanji has to stamp down the sudden urge to cry.

“You need to eat too, Sanji.”, Luffy says and stretches his arm to pull a piece of meat onto Sanji’s plate. That’s what finally pulls Sanji out of his stunned silence and he raises a hand to slap the back of Luffy’s head.

“No stretching arms at my dinner table.”, he says, his voice way softer than his words. “And thank you, captain.”

Luffy only grins brightly at him and continues to eat.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It all comes to a head when they reunite after two years, more mature and a whole lot stronger, and make their way to Fishman Island. When they manage to escape the marines at Sabaody and the Sunny starts sinking to the bottom of the ocean, Sanji spares half a thought for the only Levely Germa ever went to and the brief encounter he not only had with Vivi, but also with King Neptun and his children.

Then, they meet a giant octopus, get separated, reunited and separated again and a Levely over a decade ago is the last thing on Sanji’s mind. When he wakes up again, he’s already in the middle of Fishman Island and Luffy is on his best way to get into a conflict with fishmen and the royal family alike.

As always, the rest of the crew can do nothing else but go with Luffy’s flow and this time, it apparently leads them right to the biggest plaza in all of Fishman Island, facing off against a human hating group of fishmen doped up on some crazy looking pills. All that because the mermaid princess asked them for help in saving her brothers and father, the princes and king of Fishman Island, not that Sanji would ever complain about helping a beautiful lady. It does remind them a lot about Cocoyashi Village and the whole situation with Arlong, though.

When Luffy beats Hody Jones and needs a blood transfusion, Jinbei is the only one with the same blood group and the only willing fishman to give his blood to a human.

When the two of them are lying down in the middle of the plaza and some of the royal guards lead Hody’s men away, King Neptun and his children come over and it’s the first time Sanji really sees them since this whole mess started. The king still looks exactly like Sanji remembers him and the princes have grown into strong and capable young mermen. In fear of being recognised, he stays in the background and at first, that even seems to work.

Luffy regains consciousness at one point and Neptun mainly speaks to him and Jinbei, thanking their captain for saving them and the whole of Fishmen Island. There are still a lot of civilians watching them and it’s mildly uncomfortable being the center of attention like this.

When Chopper is sure Luffy is fine, he makes his round with all of them, bandaging some minor wounds or putting cream on some of the bigger bruises. Sanji is the last he deals with, doing his usual checks for a concussion and moving on to bandaging a shallow cut on his forearm when he’s sure he didn’t take any serious blows to the head.

Luffy becomes more energized by the minute, barely able to lie still for the last quarter of the blood back still dripping steadily into the tube connected to his arm. When Nami threatens him with bodily harm, King Neptun laughs at their antics and Sanji can’t help but grin too. It’s just nice to be back with his family.

Chopper sternly tells him to not take the bandage off too early when he’s done and Sanji just nods in compliance and smiles at their doctor. When the reindeer walks over to Luffy to finally free him from the now finished blood transfusion, their captain doesn’t waste a second to sit up and stretch, much to the dismay of Chopper who fears a reopening of the wound in his side.

“Sanji!”, Luffy then shouts, the attention of everyone suddenly on the blonde. “Food!”

Sanji tries to answer as casually as possible, trying not to look any of the royal family in the eyes. He knows it’s kind of ridiculous to assume they still recognise him after such a long time, but he’s already had people knowing who his biological family is without them ever meeting him before.

“Soon, shitty rubber captain.”, Sanji answers at the same time he hears prince Fukaboshi question, “Sanji?”

Feeling several sets of eyes on him now, Sanji still tries to ignore the royal family, even if that feels a whole lot of disrespectful. He’s a pirate, though, and even before that, he didn’t care much about proper social etiquettes.

“I thought you kind of looked familiar.”, Neptun suddenly addresses him and comes closer to where Sanji is standing stock-still now. “Vinsmoke Sanji.”

“Vinsmoke?!”, he hears a few of the guards echo his name in shock and Sanji stumbles a step back, his legs suddenly feeling rather unstable. A line of guards boxes him in on all sides but the front where Neptun is still staring down at him, cutting him successfully off from his friends.

“Sanji!”, Luffy shouts and Sanji thinks he might even hear Zoro unsheathing his swords.

“What is Germa 66 doing here? What are your plans with my country?”, Neptun demands and Sanji’s hands clench into fists. This is his worst case scenario come to life, his scariest nightmare becoming reality.

“What are you talking about?!” Luffy jumps over the line of guards to stand right in front of Sanji, kind of protectively. “He’s just Sanji! Our cook!”

Squeezing between the guards and King Neptun, their other crewmates make their way over too, filling the space beside Luffy and around Sanji. The blonde looks down at his feet, no longer able to look any of his nakama in the eyes. He feels his hands tremble at his sides and wishes he could just turn invisible after all.

“I’m not a Vinsmoke.”, Sanji says quietly, not loud enough for Neptun to hear.

“He’s a prince.”, the king answers Luffy and Sanji feels several eyes on him at that statement. “The Vinsmokes are a royal family of assassins from the North Blue.”

There’s a stunned silence after that and Sanji still doesn’t dare to look up. He doesn’t really know what he’s feeling, a weird mix of extreme embarrassment, mind-numbing panic and anger at his past being revealed like this. How dare you?, he thinks and knows it’s irrational. King Neptun is just trying to protect his country and his people.

“I’m not a Vinsmoke.”, Sanji says again, louder this time, and his friends definitely heard him.

“Sanji?”, Luffy inquires and the blonde finally looks up, his face a mask of anger and carefully hidden panic. King Neptun is silently staring at him, as if trying to figure him out.

“I’m not a Vinsmoke!”, Sanji shouts a third time. It comes out biting and in a tone none of his nakama are used to hearing from him.

“You clearly are, though.”, Neptun argues. “You look exactly like your father.”

“I don’t!”

“But Sanji, you're the spitting image of Zeff.”, Usopp chimes in and for the first time, Sanji notices the worried looks on his friends’ faces.

“Zeff?”, Neptun asks confused. “His father is Vinsmoke Judge.”

“My father is Redleg Zeff!”, Sanji shouts and takes an unconscious step forward, only for the guards around them to raise their weapons. Luffy tenses immediately, taking on a defensive pose in case he has to fight any of the men around them. His eyes are on Sanji though, worried and confused but still so very trusting that the blonde almost tears up at the sight.

He didn’t want this, didn’t want it to get revealed like this. He would have taken this to his grave, but now they’re standing here and Sanji doesn’t know how he can explain any of this to his nakama. For a split second, he catches Robin’s eyes and she looks at him in understanding and encouragement. He’s known since she joined them that she suspects some things about his background, but she seems to know more than she let on.

“Father.”, prince Fukaboshi suddenly cuts in and comes forward to stand beside his father. “I think I remember him.”

“I do too.”, prince Manboshi confirms, Ryuboshi nodding beside him.

“Me too.”, princess Shirahoshi speaks up too, her brows furrowed in concern. “He was so nice to us back at the Levely!”

For a moment, it’s eerily silent as King Neptun just scrutinizes Sanji, before his eyes widen in sudden recognition.

“Are you the third son?”, he asks then, but Sanji doesn’t answer. His silence is apparently enough, though, and Neptun nods to himself a little, as if coming to a realization.

“Sanji-san, what are they talking about?” Nami has her climate tact in hand, ready to defend, but her eyes are on him, wide and worried and Sanji can’t look at her longer than a few seconds. He lets his gaze sweep over the rest of his nakama and sees Nami’s expression mirrored in all of them, even though Zoro is trying his hardest to look indifferent.

“I thought that old geezer back in the swimming restaurant is your father?”, the swordsman asks, Wadoichimonji still unsheathed in one hand.

“He is!”, Sanji can’t help but snap. “In all the ways that matter!”

“And in the ways that don’t?”, Brook inquires gently and Sanji can’t help but let out a bone deep sigh. He won’t get out of this without telling them something, even if it’s not everything.

“I was born in the North Blue, you already know that.”, he eventually starts and feels his hands still shaking at his sides, his heart hammering in his chest. “It’s right that my biological family is of royal blood. It’s also right that their name is Vinsmoke.”

Closing his eyes to take a calming breath, Sanji feels a sudden touch at his hand and almost flinches away from the sudden contact. When he looks down, though, it’s just Chopper shyly taking his hand and squeezing it in comfort. The unexpected gesture makes him tear up a bit and he quickly blinks and looks away.

“My name is not Vinsmoke anymore, though.”, Sanji continues, his eyes now on Neptun, daring him to claim otherwise again. “And my father isn’t Vinsmoke Judge. I grew up in the East Blue in Redleg Zeff’s restaurant.”

Neptun looks at him silently for a long minute, not in an unkind way or as if he's trying to figure out a lie. Sanji's heart is still hammering in his chest, though, panic induced nausea still swirling in his stomach. His crew is too silent for his liking and it makes his skin itch in anxiety. They can be mad at him for staying quiet about this so long, but his worst fear is getting pushed away or abandoned.

“Your family-”, Neptun starts, only to correct himself quickly. “The Vinsmokes went to the Levely exactly once. The only time our family went as well.”

Sanji nods, already thinking back to over a decade ago. His mother had still been alive then, the only reason they even went in the first place, even if she couldn’t go with them.

“You were kind to us when no one else was.”, Fukaboshi cuts in and it makes Sanji relax slightly.

“And you were kind to me when no one else was.”, Sanji answers quietly.

- - - -

Sanji doesn’t really know where they are or why they are here, but he knows it’s important to his mom, so it’s important to him.

He’s only seven and doesn’t understand anything about politics or other countries, but he’s happy to get out of the castle for once, even if it’s without his mother.

Their snails swam for a few days until they were not in the North Blue anymore, that’s all Sanji knows. It’s not like he cares particularly much, they’re always on the move, there’s not a single place he can call home, and wherever they go, it’s always the same.

His father is dismissive at best and downright cruel at worst, his siblings more the latter than anything else. His only saving grace is his mother and her kind nature, but since she’s weak and always tied to her bed, she can’t go with them to whatever meeting they’re attending.

There are hundreds of ships in whatever harbor they’re docking at and Sanji looks at them in wonder. He has never seen so many people in one place at the same time, he’s usually not allowed to leave the castle whenever they stop at an island, and his family’s soldiers are not really human to him. Even though he doesn’t really understand what makes them different, he just knows they aren't.

When they make their way onto the island, Sanji tries to stay away from his siblings as far as possible, trying to keep Reiju between him and their brothers. His sister won’t help him or try to protect him, but Ichiji, Yonji and Niji are less likely to try anything when Reiju is a barrier between them and him.

A man in a white coat welcomes them at the harbor, leading them to dozens of waiting carriages that will apparently bring them to wherever they’re going. There are several other groups and families around them and Sanji notices a girl his age with vibrant blue hair. She’s laughing at something the man beside her is saying and judging from the way she’s holding his hand and they share a significant resemblance, he must be her father.

They climb into a carriage and the man pulls the girl close, letting her sit on the outside so she can look better at their surroundings. He drops a kiss on her head as she excitedly points at something in the distance and Sanji feels frozen in his place. He has never seen a relationship like this between father and child, didn’t know something like this was even possible. Why was his father so vastly different from the man before him?

“Sanji!”, the man in question suddenly barks and rips him out of his frozen staring. Turning away, he quickly catches up with his siblings and father.

Everyone around them seems to be of royal blood, their clothes of high quality and their backs straight and regal, their postures screaming of wealth and leadership. A lot of them seem arrogant while at it, but some of them look like real royalty, like Sanji imagines his mother would look like if her health would be better and she could stand up for longer periods of time.

They’re about to board their own carriage when another group catches not only Sanji’s attention but that of everyone around them. The man in front is at least twice the size of his father but what’s really astonishing is the fishtail where legs would usually be. His mother has told him about the merfolk before, but never would he have imagined meeting some of them here since she always emphasized sadly that they’re a very private kingdom.

Following behind him are three young mermen that must be around Sanji’s age and one mermaid that looks younger than the rest but is already twice as tall as the other children. Since they can’t walk with their tails, they float in the air on what looks like bubbles wrapped around their waists and Sanji is so fascinated, he can’t help but stare. Their scales are glittering beautifully in the sun and they look like the strongest people he’s ever seen. But not everyone seems to share that opinion.

When the young mermaid shies away from a human man leering at her, Sanji looks around for the first time and sees everyone stopping to stare and point. There’s disgust on most people’s faces and he can’t understand why. They might look different, but what’s the problem with that?

“Look at that!”, Yonji suddenly shouts and unashamedly points at the merfolk. “Their tails are disgusting, they don’t even have feet!” He laughs and Niji and Ichiji join in.

“Who even allowed them to be here?”, Niji says in disgust and Sanji sees the younger mermen look in their direction, their brows furrowed. He’s sure they would have said something if it wasn’t for the big mermen in front giving them a warning look. They must be used to this, but that doesn’t make it right.

“There’s nothing wrong with them, leave them alone!”, it suddenly bursts out of Sanji and he immediately knows he’s going to regret speaking up. For a split second, he catches the younger mermen’s eyes though and they look at him in surprise. He’s the first out of the crowd around them to speak up in their defense and it makes him sad to know that they’re probably so surprised because no one ever helps them.

Sanji’s brothers sober up immediately and Yonji glowers at him. The next second, his brother kicks him in the stomach, causing him to crash to the ground. With tears in his eyes, he holds his hurting stomach and looks up. His brothers look ready to pounce on him, like they do so often, when their father swipes a hand through the air.

“Stop that.”, he says and doesn’t even look at Sanji. “Get in.” Opening the door to the carriage, their father gets in and sits down, looking expectantly down at his children. Without further complaint, they all get in, leaving Sanji down on the ground. There’s not really another seat on the carriage, but just as he’s about to climb in nevertheless, his father slams the door closed.

“You’re walking Sanji. There’s not enough space.” Not even waiting for an answer, his father gives the coachman a signal and the carriage starts moving, leaving Sanji behind with tears streaming down his face, still holding his hurting stomach.

The fascination he felt at his surroundings before has completely vanished by now and he wishes he would have just stayed back in the castle with his mother. She could have read him a story or he could have cooked something for her without risking his brothers’ taunting for once, but he was so excited to get out of the castle that he didn’t even spare a thought for these things.

“Um, excuse me…?”, a timid voice suddenly speaks up beside him, startling Sanji out of his thoughts. He’s still sitting on the ground and when he looks up, he’s more than surprised to see the young mermaid from earlier right in front of him. She looks very unsure of herself, not even looking at him properly, but there’s something determined in her eyes.

“Um, are you okay?”, she asks and Sanji only looks at her, nodding silently, even though it’s a lie. He’s never okay and doesn’t know when he last has been.

“Would you like to ride with us in our carriage?”, she asks then and points over her shoulder at the large carriage a few metres behind her. It’s much bigger than some of the ones around them, but the tall merman still barely fits. He and the younger mermen all look at them, their expressions open and kind and Sanji can’t help the fresh bout of tears running down his face at that.

He finally gets up from the ground, but the mermaid is double his size even then. She’s still looking at him expectantly and when he finally nods in agreement, her face lights up in joy.

“I’m Shirahoshi.”, she says as she floats beside him on their short way to the carriage. They climb in and she sits down beside the older merman, Sanji beside her, because he’s kind of intimidated by the three younger merman sitting opposite them. They’re smiling at him though and he relaxes slightly.

“I’m Sanji.”, he mumbles in Shirahoshi’s general direction and she smiles at him kindly too.

“You are a very brave boy, Sanji.”, the older merman suddenly says as the carriage starts moving and Sanji has to look up to see his face. He immediately ducks his head in embarrassment at the words, though, and stares at his shoes.

When it’s clear that Sanji won’t answer, the merman just chuckles lightly and leans back in his seat. The younger mermen take that as their chance to introduce themselves too and soon, Sanji is listening to them and, as he gets to know, their sister happily chatting about any- and everything they see and hear. It seems to be one of their first times on dry land too and he’s glad he’s not the only one feeling out of his depth.

The punishment from his father and brothers he receives later when they’re all back in the castle is worth the new friendships he made that day.

Only a few days later, though, his mother dies unexpectedly. Just a few weeks later, Sanji’s new home is a dark cell in the dungeons. He’s declared dead on the same day he’s wearing that awful iron mask for the first time.

- - - -

“Only a few weeks after the Levely, we got the message that Germa’s third son died in an accident.” Neptun seems distinctly more relaxed now as he looks at Sanji and knows that he’s the boy from back then.

“It looks like that wasn’t really the case, though.”, he continues and Sanji’s hand clenches around Chopper’s hoof.

“No.”, he answers, not wanting to say any more to that. If he has his way for once, no one beside Zeff is ever going to know about the iron mask.

It’s silent for a long minute and Sanji carefully looks around. His crew is still looking worried but now more for what has just been revealed and not for his safety in the face of the royal family of Fishman Island.

“Thank you for back then, Sanji-sama.”, Shirahoshi speaks up suddenly from behind her father and smiles at him. Sanji can’t help but smile back genuinely, for the first time since this whole intervention started.

“It’s what everyone should’ve done.”, Sanji replies and sees the princes smile at him kindly too. Just then, he catches Luffy’s eyes and immediately sobers up. His captain’s silence is unnerving, his serious eyes even more so. Just when Sanji managed to relax a little, his heart starts racing again and he’s reminded again of what his crew now knows about him.

“If that’s all…”, he starts, already taking a step back. Sensing that Sanji finally feels too trapped, Neptun signals his guards to retreat.

“I’m going to prepare some snacks for everyone to re-energize.”, he says to no one in particular, carefully slipping his hand out from Chopper’s hooves. “I’m in the galley, if anyone needs me.”

Turning around, Sanji clasps his shaking hands in front of him and hopes nobody notices. Fighting the urge to run back to the Sunny, he keeps his steps deliberately at a normal speed and tries to ignore the eyes of his nakama boring into his back.

He’s already some distance away when Luffy suddenly calls out to him.

“Sanji.”, he says, calm and collected, but serious in a way he rarely is. There’s an unspoken question in his eyes, asking for an explanation, and Sanji knows he has to give one and he feels that he wants to, too. But not now, not this shortly after having all the worst parts of his person getting laid bare in front of his family.

“Luffy.”, he answers and doesn’t care that it sounds pleading. His captain can probably already see it in his eyes too and in the way his hands are still shaking. “Please.”

For a long moment, Luffy just looks at him and Sanji tries not to squirm under his intense stare. Then, his captain just nods, a small smile on his face. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Swallowing hard, Sanji nods back thankfully, not trusting his voice right now. Turning back towards the Sunny, he makes his way to his beloved kitchen as quickly as possible. Even when he still feels their eyes on him all the way back, he doesn’t turn around once.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sanji makes the snacks he promised, the familiar routine doing wonders for calming him down. It’s just some quick sandwiches to bring everyone’s energy back up after the battle, but the longer he cuts the ingredients, the more his hands stop shaking.

Knowing his friends’ and especially Luffy’s appetite, it takes about an hour to make the right amount and when he’s finished, he stacks everything into small pyramids and places the plates on the table. Then he leaves the galley, lights a cigarette and waits.

It takes Luffy only a few minutes to appear, catapulting himself onto the Sunny while Chopper screams after him to take it easy. The rest of the crew trickle in one after the other, chatting among themselves as usual, but giving Sanji gentle and understanding smiles when they pass him outside the galley.

Sanji hates it.

When the whole crew plus Jinbei is there, because in Sanji’s short absence, they apparently now gained a new member, he busies himself with washing some dishes, letting the voices of his nakama wash over him. Everything seems normal and in some ways it is, but in all the ways that matter to Sanji, his life just got turned upside down.

Despite a look or two, his friends act like nothing happened, so when prince Fukaboshi and his brothers come by some time later to pick them up for a banquet in the palace, Sanji stays in the background but tags along.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Luffy might have told him that he’ll wait until Sanji is ready, but that doesn’t stop the blonde from worrying nevertheless.

They have the banquet in the palace and Sanji is able to relax a bit despite everything that happened, but it still unnerves him that his crew just takes it in stride that he kept big parts of his past to himself for so long. He keeps waiting for the bomb to drop, leaving him in a constant anxious state, and it makes him withdraw, albeit unconsciously, from his nakama.

They stay two more days on Fishman Island and Sanji spends most of that time stocking up on food since their next destination is going to be the New World and they have no idea what’s waiting for them there. He tells himself it’s not because he’s avoiding his nakama that he’s spending most of his time alone when they’re not eating meals together, but at the end of the day it’s exactly that. He’s a little ashamed of it, but he needs time to think before they’re going to be together 24/7 again.

It’s noon, right before lunch, on the second day after the battle when they say goodbye to the royal family and their other friends, old and new, and prepare to go back to the surface. Jinbei regretfully informs them that he’ll take them up on the invitation to their crew, but only after tying up some loose ends with Big Mom and Luffy begrudgingly allows him to, even though it’s with a lot of whining.

Sanji is standing near the galley, a cigarette between his fingers, when Jinbei makes his round to say goodbye and stops beside him.

“Sanji-san.”, the fishman says and leans at the wall beside him. Sanji blows out a breath of smoke before he turns towards the larger man.

“Jinbei.” His smile is genuine when he looks at the fishman and he already knows they’re going to miss him until Jinbei has settled whatever matters he needs to attend to. He’ll make a great addition to the crew.

“Are you okay?”, Jinbei asks, genuinely worried. “You’ve been a bit withdrawn the last few days.

Not having expected a question like that, Sanji takes another inhale of smoke to stall for some time. “It’s been a bit…much, the last few days.”, he admits after a moment and smiles wryly at Jinbei. The fishman looks at him with kind eyes and claps him on the shoulder.

“They are worried about you, you know.”, he says. “You should talk to them.”

Sighing, Sanji closes his eyes for a second and takes another drag from his cigarette. “I know. I will.”, he promises. Jinbei pats him on the shoulder again, before he says his goodbyes and leaves with an encouraging smile.

It’s not long after that, that they leave the island for good, Shirahoshi’s waves visible on the horizon until Franky activates the coating of the Sunny and they start floating back to the surface and only the dark ocean surrounds them.

Sanji retreats to the galley then, with the promise of lunch being served soon, and thinks back to Jinbei’s words from earlier. He knows he has to talk to his nakama soon, but that doesn't mean he will ever feel ready for that conversation. It’s not like he ever planned to talk about this, so if he has to, he’s going to do it where he feels the most comfortable. In his kitchen.

He serves lunch like he normally does and tries not to show how anxious he feels. While the others eat, he busies himself with rinsing the first of the pots he used, one eye always on the amount of food on his friends’ plates.

When everyone has finished eating and Luffy takes his last bite of meat, Sanji takes a deep breath and dries his hands. His crew is still talking amongst themselves, like they usually do after a meal, so Sanji takes his usual seat between Luffy and Usopp and immediately feels his captain’s eyes on him. When he turns to him, Luffy is already smiling at him.

“You asked me once how I got that scar on the back of my hand.”, Sanji starts and the table goes silent. “My biological father, Vinsmoke Judge, didn’t like me much. I was too small, too fragile, too weak. When I was seven, he locked me up in the dungeons and put an iron mask on my head.”

Luffy is frowning now, his eyes serious, and Sanji looks down at the table in front of him. It’s almost eerily silent, something that’s unusual on their ship.

“He declared me dead to the Germa kingdom and even my siblings thought me gone. But one day, they found me in the dungeon. I was used to their bullying but now that everybody thought I was dead, I didn’t need to look presentable anymore. They took advantage of that.”

Looking up, Sanji sees Luffy’s serious expression mirrored on everyone’s faces. Zoro has his hand on the hilts of his swords and Sanji almost smiles. That bastard can shove his overprotectiveness of their whole crew where the sun don’t shine, he can take care of himself. He appreciates the sentiment, though.

“They stabbed a knife into the back of my hand, because even back then I loved cooking and they knew that. Most of my scars are not from our battles.”

Sanji looks at Chopper and sees the realization in the doctor’s eyes, before they fill with tears.

“Sanji!”, he cries. “Why did you never say anything? I could’ve helped you!”

Despite the serious mood, Sanji smiles. “The wounds are old and long since healed. But thank you, Chopper.”

Now that their doctor has cut into Sanji’s monologue, the others seem to feel okay to ask questions too.

“But how did you meet Zeff then?”, Nami asks, unshed tears glistening in her eyes.

“A few months after Judge threw me in the dungeons, our country passed the Redline into the East Blue. Germa is a seafaring country, its kingdom lives on the backs of giant snails.”, Sanji explains. Luffy is still completely silent beside him, his arms now crossed in front of him.

“My sister, the only one of my siblings relatively nice to me, freed me from my cell and helped me escape to a nearby island. I met my father on my way out and he threatened me into never mentioning any of my relations to the Vinsmokes. Not that I would ever want to be associated with them.”

“Wasn’t Zeff a pirate? Was he anchored at that island too?”, Usopp asks, apparently trying to put the story they knew about the two of them stranded on a rock with no food together with what they’re hearing now.

“Yes, but I only met him about a year after I escaped.”, Sanji answers. “I signed on as a kitchen boy on a cruise ship. Zeff and his crew ambushed the ship but a storm made it capsize. He saved me because we share the same dream.” Smiling at the memory, Sanji looks around the table, his crew now smiling back.

“You know the rest. We lived on that rock for over 80 days before we got rescued and built the Baratie. And that’s where I met you.” Looking from his crewmates to their captain, Sanji smiles. “Or rather Luffy.”

But as he looks at the black-haired man, Luffy’s expression doesn’t change and Sanji loses some of his confidence that everything is going to turn out fine. Their captain is still looking at him seriously, his arms still crossed over his chest.

“Luffy?”, Sanji asks anxiously, the reaction of his captain to all of this the most important one.

“Where are they now, Sanji?”, is the only thing Luffy asks and the blonde is a bit taken aback, not having expected a question like that.

“I don’t know.”, he answers honestly. “Probably still in the North Blue, if I had to guess.”

With an annoyed sigh, Luffy deflates and uncrosses his arms. “I want to kick their asses! But the North Blue is so far away!”

While Sanji gapes, Robin and Brook can’t help but chuckle at their captain’s antics. Looking around, Sanji sees most of his crewmates grinning, while Nami looks just annoyed at a possible detour.

“Luffy, we’re on our way to the New World, if we go to the North Blue now, it will take us forever to make it back here!”, she says, seemingly more put out by possibly having to calculate a new route than by the idea to go all the way to one of the Blues only to kick the asses of Sanji’s relatives.

“I’m on board.”, Zoro chimes in, still a grin on his face. “Those bastards are no match for us anyways.”

Before anyone can add anything more to that ridiculous idea, Sanji cuts in.

“Guys, it’s okay, really.”, he says, holding up his hands placatingly. “I really don’t want to see them again, I have you guys now and Zeff. I’m free.”

It’s silent for a moment after that, before Chopper suddenly slides off his chair like he has been waiting for this for an eternity already, and jumps on his lap.

“Sanjiiii”, he cries. “I’m so glad you’re with us!”

Caught off guard, Sanji can do little more than hug Chopper back, the sudden tears in his eyes taking him by surprise. Luffy takes that as his cue to wind his rubbery arms around them and it isn’t long before the whole crew is pulled into the hug too.

Sanji thinks he should feel suffocated, but as he looks at his friends, his family, he tells Chopper, “I’m glad I’m with you too.”, and lets the tears run down his face.

The same day, he writes a letter to Zeff, thanking him for everything he never mentioned but feels eternally grateful for. He tells him about the crew and the members Zeff hasn’t met yet and attaches a recipe he got from Fishman Island that he knows his father will enjoy too.

When he joins his nakama on the deck that evening and feels the wind blow through his hair, it’s the first time Sanji doesn’t feel a weight on his shoulders. It’s the first time he feels truly free. He smiles and hands out the drinks he made.