Chapter Text
They keep that pattern for months. Dean’s weekdays are filled with car repairs, hanging out with Ruby, and having the occasional awkward conversation with his father. Ruby gets a job as a waitress at some Italian place on the other side of town, and comes home most nights swearing she needs to find a nicer job. She doesn’t come home every night, though. There are plenty of nights when Dean gets a “staying at Jo’s” text from her, and Dean spends those nights playing World of Warcraft with Kevin or having phone sex with Castiel.
Dean’s weekends are spent in Des Moines, cuddling in Castiel’s bed, hanging out in the bookstore on Saturdays and reading sci-fi novels while Castiel reads his god awful romances between customers. A few Moondoor events come and go, but Dean has yet to go back to Colorado Springs, not quite willing to cut into his time with Castiel just yet.
He officially meets Castiel’s siblings, and they’re good people, though Gabriel treats Dean like he’s another little brother in need of pestering, which is not fun for anyone other than Gabriel.
Things are pretty good. Dean wishes he could end more nights asleep in Castiel’s arms, but he’s not unhappy.
In September, Castiel catches a cold. It takes him down pretty hard, and Dean is so freaked out that he takes over a week off from work so he can lurk in Castiel’s apartment, fretting and convincing himself that Castiel is going to develop pneumonia at any moment. Castiel’s siblings all think it’s fucking precious. Castiel says he’s just happy to have more of Dean.
Dean has discovered parts of himself he didn’t know existed. He’s called Castiel for the sole purpose of saying “I love you”. He’s shown up at Castiel’s apartment bearing flowers. He’s clocked many, many hours of lying in bed just watching Castiel sleep. All kinds of romantic, cliche, sappy shit that Dean’s spent his whole life thinking he had no interest in. If Sam could see him like this… in love, committed… spending over an hour just thinking about Castiel’s eyes one night… he’d tease Dean mercilessly. But Dean knows he’d also be really, really happy for his big brother.
***
“Fuck, it’s fucking freezing.”
Dean stands in the frost-coated grass over Sam’s grave, peering down at the familiar inscription. Sometimes people give Dean dirty looks for standing on top of Sam’s grave the way he does, but fuck them. Sam is Dean’s brother, not theirs. They weren’t there when Dean would take Sam to see their mother’s grave when they were younger. They weren’t there when a young Sam would lie in the grass right above where Mary was buried, telling Dean he wanted to be as close as he could to his mom. So… that old woman glaring at Dean from two rows away can stuff it.
“So, I’m leaving. Just thought I’d come right out with it.”
Dean shivers, the icy January cold seeping through his black Hello Kitty hoodie easily.
“I just think my life is a little more… portable than Cas’. We want to live together. I want a life with him. And right now I think that means a life away from Lawrence. I mean Cas has that job through his brother… insurance… and having a close support system is important. Especially in these early years after a transplant, you know? Okay maybe you don’t know.”
Dean sighs, watching his breath come out in a weak little cloud.
“He offered to move here, but… that would’ve… maybe down the road. Like I said, my life is more portable. We got a house in Des Moines… well I mean we didn’t get a house. It’s a rental. Ruby’s staying in my apartment, so… Dad and Ruby are gonna stay neighbors.” Dean chuckles at that. “I was pretty sad about leaving your stars behind, and then Cas… so smart, he reminded me that I have a fuck ton of money in my bank account, so I paid Frank… you remember Frank? My landlord? You got into an argument about the moon landing with him once…. anyway I paid him five grand plus labor… and he brought in some guys, and they just… cut that part of the ceiling off. It’s a huge chunk of drywall. Only about an inch thick, otherwise… I dunno. S’ only a two story building. Anyway it’s already been filled in. So, we almost couldn’t get the chunk of ceiling out of there without cutting it down, but we managed. There’s a great big hole in it from where the overhead light was, but I can fill that in myself.”
Dean looks around. The old woman is still shooting him dirty looks.
“Haven’t really decided what to do with it… so there’s just a big hunk of drywall leaning against the wall in our new bedroom. Ruby said she thought I was being fucking ridiculous cutting out the damn ceiling, but… I saw her eyes tear up when they carried it out, so I know she’s just full of shit. She and Jo are doing good, by the way. They’re like… out to everyone now, but I don’t think the others know the three of you were a thing. Still haven’t told them about where Cas got his heart, either. I’ll get around to it, I swear. But for now it’s just between me and Cas. And Ash. And one of Cas’ brothers. And Ruby. And Ruby probably told Jo by now.” Dean groans. “Jesus, and Jo probably told her mom, and Ellen probably told Bobby… and Bobby’s finally speaking to Dad again, so he probably knows. Fuck I should look into this later.”
There’s snow falling now, and the old woman is nowhere to be seen.
“I should go. Car’s all packed up, Cas is waiting… today’s the official move in day. We’re going to hit up a Pier 1 or some shit in Des Moines. I left all my furniture with Ruby, and most of Cas’ shit came with his apartment so we can’t take it, and the stuff he had in storage is all musty and gross, so, new stuff. I like it though, I like that we’ll be picking it all out together. I’m… I’m happy, Sam. I’m learning to be happy in this new world that doesn’t have you in it. I’m doing okay. I’ll be back to Lawrence plenty, so I’ll still come by to visit.”
Dean crouches down, petting Sam’s headstone with freezing fingertips.
“You’re never far from my thoughts, Sammy. I’m always gonna love you, always gonna miss you.”
It’s below freezing out, and the tears in Dean’s eyes sting. He rushes back to the Impala, where the engine is running. Castiel is inside, basking in the warmth of the heater and listening to one of Dean’s AC/DC tapes.
“I think there’s something wrong with your heater,” Castiel says, turning the volume down to zero as Dean slides into the car.
“Feels warm to me.” Dean wraps his cold body around Castiel’s, grinning when Castiel yelps.
“There’s a rattle every so often.”
Dean chuckles. “Legos.”
“Beg your pardon?”
“I shoved Legos in the vents when I was a kid.”
“Ahh,” Castiel murmurs, and Dean can hear the smile in it. “You really left your mark on this car, then. I’ve noticed the little army man stuck in the ashtray on one of the back doors.”
Dean nuzzles into Castiel’s warmth, sighing as he starts to thaw. “That one was Sammy.”
“Anything else?”
“We carved our initials into the package tray behind the back seat. Don’t tell my dad.”
“I’ll be sure to leave that out of our weekly phone call.”
Dean sits up, staring. “Your what?” At Castiel’s unimpressed expression Dean sighs, rubbing his face with his palm. “The cold has damaged the part of my brain that can detect sarcasm, okay?”
“Mhm.”
“Don’t be an ass, or I won’t take you to the store to furnish our love nest.”
“Oh God, please don’t call it that.”
Dean snickers, pulling the Impala away from the cemetery as Castiel starts talking about beds, interrupting Castiel to ask “do they make race car beds in adult sizes?”
“No.”
“No they don’t make them?”
“No, we’re not getting one.”
“I’m the one with all the money, shouldn’t this be my choice?”
“No, that’s not how this is going to work.”
“Come on, I’ll let you drive it!”
“I am not sleeping in a race car bed, Dean.”
“Yeah,” Dean says, glancing at Castiel and grinning, “we’ll see about that.”
THE END