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Nick’s leg was bouncing violently. He hadn’t seen his dad properly in years. When his dad said that he was in the UK and he wanted to see his sons, Nick decided that he needed to see his dad, needed to say some things to him that had been on his mind. He didn’t have high hopes for this meeting but, if nothing else, he wanted to say some things to his dad, if he even deserved that title.
Stéphane walked into the café half an hour late, a grin plastered across his face as though he hadn’t ignored Nick for most of his life. Nick, on the other hand, had twenty one years of frustration and disappointment built up on this one meeting.
“Nicholas!” Stéphane said, sounding thrilled with himself.
“Papa,” Nick responded, nowhere near as enthusiastically.
“It’s been a while,” Stéphane replied.
“Well, not for a lack of trying on my part,” Nick said, a hint of malice in his voice.
“I’m here now, what more do you need?” Stéphane said trying to make a joke but it hit every wrong nerve in Nick’s body.
“What more do I need? What more do I fucking need? I’ll tell you what I needed, Dad. I needed you in my formative years. I needed to not be let down every single birthday including my 18th and 21st. I needed a father figure that I never had, a dad to teach me how to do things that dads teach their sons like how to shave, basic things you weren’t here for,” Nick started, anger coursing through his body like electricity buzzing through him.
“Son, there’s no need to get angry,” Stéphane said, clearly missing Nick‘s point.
“No, Dad, there is a reason to get angry. I tried constantly to stay in contact with you. I made sure I kept up with knowing French so I could speak to you in your native tongue. I sat and cried on every birthday because you let me down again, but it was fine to you because you didn’t have to pick up the pieces. Mom helped me pick them up every time, until Charlie, who by the way you still don’t know, and I have no intention to introduce the two of you. You don’t deserve to meet the boy who made me the happiest I’ve been in years. So, yes, Dad, there is a reason to be angry because you could’ve- could’ve stayed in contact but you didn’t. You decided that whatever you had going on in France was more important than your kids. I guess. I know where I stand in your life,” Nick exclaimed, fury dripping from him, malice clinging to every syllable.
Nick stood up, paid for his drink and left the café. His dad is no longer deserving of his time. Tears streamed down his face. He just couldn’t understand how his dad could be so dismissive, how he just didn’t care. He scanned the car park for Charlie’s car, which he found fairly quickly, he got into the car and melted into his boyfriend's arms.
“How did it go?” Charlie questioned, even though he had an idea how it went from his boyfriend's state.
“That wanker doesn’t deserve any more of my time,” Nick responded.
“Good, he doesn’t deserve it,” Charlie replied, pulling Nick in for a hug, the best he could over the centre console.
When they released from the hug, Charlie started the car up and headed back towards Nick’s. As they pulled into the driveway, Nick pulled himself into more of a ball clearly with no intention of moving.
“What’s up, love?” Charlie asked as he placed his hand onto Nick’s knee and gently rubbed it.
“Can we just go inside and cuddle?” Nick questioned, looking at Charlie with the saddest puppy dog face he could muster.
“Of course, come on. Let’s get you inside,” Charlie said, looking at his boyfriend with sympathy filling his face.
The two boys headed upstairs, Sarah looked on with concern. She made eye contact with Charlie, who just shook his head at her.
Nick led Charlie into his bedroom. He lay on the bed beckoning Charlie to lie with him. He lay behind his boyfriend cuddling into him.
“I just don’t understand,” Nick said with a sniffle.
“Understand what, love?” Charlie responded, running his hand through Nick’s hair.
“What I did wrong, why doesn't he care?” Nick said through sobs.
“Oh, love, you did nothing wrong at all. It’s all on him. You tried, he didn’t. You were young when he left, he chose to leave. It wasn’t your fault. Hell, if it was anyone’s fault, it was David’s, let’s be honest. You’ve always said he was a nightmare child,” Charlie laughed, pulling Nick into a tighter hug.
They stayed like that until Nick fell asleep, the stress of the day wearing him out. Charlie managed to pull his arm from under his sleeping boyfriend and he headed downstairs to see Sarah. He found hersat at the dining table with the free newspaper doing the crossword.
“Do you want a cup of tea, Sarah?” Charlie asked, knowing he could use the kitchen at Nick’s just as he’d use it at home. He feels comfortable enough now after five years of him being with Nick to do so.
“Oh, go on then, poppet, you twisted my arm,” she said with a laugh. She changed her tone pretty quickly though. “How’s he doing?”
“Not great. I’ll leave the specifics for him to say but he sobbed when we got back. He’s asleep now. I think he’s worn himself out to be honest,” Charlie explained.
Charlie places Sarah’s cup down and they sit talking until a revitalised Nick comes downstairs to disrupt their peace.
“How are you feeling now, love?” Charlie laughed as his boyfriend came and sat on his lap.
“I’m feeling great. Fuck him, he doesn’t deserve me. I have everything I need right here,” Nick says confidently with a smile, looking between his boyfriend and his mom.