Work Text:
When Professor Dumbledore announced that students would be allowed to dress up in costumes for Halloween for the first time in Hogwarts history, most students were excited. Students of all ages discussed what costumes to wear that day. Some sent letters to their families, asking them to buy their costumes.
Hermione herself found herself excited for Halloween. She hadn’t been able to dress up since she was eleven. That Halloween, she had worn a fluffy dog costume. Her mother had called her adorable. Secretly, she continued wearing the costume for nearly a month as pyjamas before her parents found out.
Now, years later, Hermione was thinking of what costume she could wear. The idea of dressing like Belle from Beauty and the Beast came from her mind. Yes, that could work. She would need to send a letter to her mother, ask her for help to get the dress.
After writing and sealing her letter, Hermione descended the stairs to the common room, where she found her boyfriend Harry sitting next to the fireplace, a book in hand. She smiled when he turned toward her.
“Hello, Hermione.” he greeted.
“What are you reading?” she asked him, sitting next to him and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
Harry raised his book, allowing her to see the cover. “Everything You Need To Know About Bats.” she read. She looked at him in surprise. “Why are you reading this?” she asked curiously.
“Oh, it’s for my Halloween costume.” he answered.
“Are you dressing up as a bat?”
Harry’s lips formed a smirk. “Something like that.”
Hermione suddenly developed a strong, ominous feeling. She knew her boyfriend very well. When Voldemort died when he crossed the road to attack the family of a muggle-born, only to be ran over by a bus, Harry was very relieved. Everyone could see how Voldemort’s death removed a huge weight from his shoulders. Harry became more open and talkative.
To Hermione’s surprise, without the shadow of Voldemort following him around, Harry developed a very mischievous streak. While she would not go so far as to call him a prankster, she definitively knew he would not miss a chance to mess with someone he did not like. This smirk of his’, it told her Harry had a plan.
A plan to mess with someone.
She could only hope Harry wouldn’t get into trouble.
Nevermind. Harry was going to get murdered!
Hermione was feeling very happy the morning of Halloween when she walked downstairs in her yellow dress. The dress wasn’t anything fancy – it was a costume, after all – but she still felt as beautiful as the day of the Yule Ball. Her mother had given her everything she needed to look like Belle, and Hermione couldn’t be grateful enough.
She was sitting by the fireplace reading a book while waiting for her boys to come down when Ron - dressed as a Chudley Cannons player - entered the common room. He was snickering hard.
“Wait until you see Harry!” he told her.
Hermione sighed. “Will I have to worry he’s going to end up in trouble?”
Grinning, Ron answered “You might want to start planning his funeral.”
Just as she felt dread form in the pit of her stomach, someone walked down the stairs and entered the common room. Hermione’s jaw dropped.
It was someone who had long black greasy hair, sallow skin, a large hooked nose, and yellow uneven teeth. Someone who wore flowing black robes. Only the man’s bright green eyes and scars on his forehead allowed her to guess who it really was.
“Are you dressed up like Snape?!” Hermione exclaimed to her boyfriend.
Harry Potter, her stupid, wonderful boyfriend, walked toward them, a sneer on his face. “You will address me as ‘Sir’, Miss Granger. Or, as Professor Dungeon Bat.” he said, his lips curling in an excellent imitation of Professor Snape.
“HA!” Ron exclaimed, dissolving into laughter.
“Harry!” Hermione whined, burying her face in her hands. Images of her boyfriend being hexed to death by Snape appeared in her mind. “Why?” was all she could ask.
Harry dropped character and grinned mischievously. “Because it’s funny!” he exclaimed.
“He’s going to kill you!” she moaned.
“Worth it.” her boyfriend said, still grinning. He looked at Hermione. “Don’t you think it’s funny?”
Hermione’s lips twitched. “Okay, maybe it is.” she admitted.
“See? I knew you’d approve! Now, give me a kiss.” he said, leaning forward.
“Ew! No! Not while you’re looking like Professor Snape!” she exclaimed. Ron laughed at her reaction.
“But you’re dressed up like Belle – nice costume by the way – so shouldn’t it be your job to kiss the Beast?”
“Can you imagine Snape turning into a prince?” Ron said. Harry laughed.
Hermione rolled her eyes. “And if you remember, Harry, the Prince became the Beast because an angry witch turned him that way. You wouldn’t want to anger me, would you?”
Harry stopped laughing, swallowing deeply. “Of course not, dear.” he said
“See? You can learn.” she smirked, patting him on the cheek.
Ron snorted. “Whipped.” he said quietly. Harry’s head snapped in his direction and gave him a glare worthy of the man he was dressed as.
It was Hermione’s turn to laugh.
Nearly everyone found Harry’s costume hilarious. Many students came to Harry to ask him to imitate Snape, something he was very good at. Even the teachers were amused. Professor McGonagall tried and failed to hide her amusement when she came to remove points from him during breakfast.
“Mr. Potter. While your costume is certainly... inspired,” she said, her lips twitching. “I cannot in good conscience allow you to continue to mock a professor without punishing you. So, it will be five points from Gryffindor.”
Five points was nothing, and everybody knew it. Harry looked at her with a sneer on his face.
“It is Professor Dungeon Bat, Minerva. How dare you insinuate I am related to these infernal Potters.”
Professor McGonagall snorted loudly. She immediately looked embarrassed at her own reaction. “Five points... Professor Dungeon Bat.” she said before walking away.
There were a lot of shocked exclamations come from the Gryffindor table before, one by one, the lions burst out laughing.
The best professor reaction had yet to come, though. Professor Snape did not show up at breakfast, nor encountered Harry after the first class of the day. But, they had potions that day, so they knew it would eventually come.
After lunch – where Snape was once more a no-show – Harry, Hermione and Ron made their way to the potions classroom. They were immediately confronted by an angry Draco Malfoy.
“Potter! What do you think you are doing?”
Harry turned around, his lips curling into a sneer. “And what do you think you are doing, Mr. Malfoy?” he drawled. Malfoy looked like he got slapped in the face with a wet fish, so taken aback he was.
“Why are you dressed like Snape?” the blond git asked.
Harry’s eyes narrowed into slits. “This will be ten points from Slytherin, Mr. Malfoy. If you think you can question me, think again.”
“But-”
“Fifty points from Slytherin.”
“What?! You can’t do that!” Malfoy protested, momentarily forgetting that Harry could not, in fact, do that.
“Go now, Mr. Malfoy, before I remove a hundred points from my own house.” Harry hissed. His eyes wide, Malfoy backed away and all but ran to the other side of the hall were Slytherin students were waiting.
There was a moment of silence on the Gryffindor side before everyone burst out laughing.
“Oh my god, this was amazing!” Dean Thomas exclaimed.
“I can’t wait to see Malfoy’s face when he remember this wasn’t Snape!” Ron snickered.
Harry leaned toward Hermione and said “I think I’m starting to get why Snape act that way. It’s so funny to see how people react!”
Hermione giggled.
Unfortunately for the Gryffindors, their laughter attracted the attention of the very man Harry was imitating.
“What is going on here?!” Snape barked angrily, storming out of his classroom. The real dungeon bat turned to glare at all the Gryffindors. And then his eyes found Harry.
Snape blinked. “What?” he blurted quietly.
“I see...” Harry spoke, imitating Snape’s drawling voice. “I am aware it is Halloween, Mr. Snape. But, I did not give you nor any students the right to dress up as me. That will be ten points from Slytherin.”
Snape blinked. He looked so confused! Everyone around them snickered.
“Will you go change, Mr. Snape? Or shall I give you detention as well?” Harry asked sharply.
The word ‘detention’ seemed to snap him back to reality. His face turned a horrible shade of purple.
“POTTER!” he yelled loud enough for the entire school to hear.
Harry might have been stupid enough to bait Snape, but even he knew how dangerous it would be to stay near him. So he did what anyone else would do. He turned around and ran away.
“Run, Harry! Run!” Ron yelled as Snape took off after him. Everyone cheered and encouraged Harry as he and Snape disappeared behind a corner.
Hermione shook her head, sighing in exasperation. Ron was right. Maybe she ought to start planning Harry's funeral.