Chapter Text
Lily Evans was not bothered. It was the end of term, she was surrounded by her loving housemates (quickly turning sisters), and she had mulled wine.
There was nothing to be bothered about.
That’s what she kept telling everyone. Did she believe it? Of course not. Did they believe it? Probably not.
Regardless, Lily spent the last week and a half of term studying her butt off and attempting to ignore all the thoughts, worries, and problems in her head. Did that translate well in her actions when she was around James Potter? Not at all. In fact, they both had created so much tension together that Sirius or Marlene made a habit to point it out.
Every. Time.
Dealing with her own emotions internally was exhausting, and having outsiders bring it up was beginning to grate on her. And not in a way that was productive for anyone involved. Lily began to resent every flutter in her stomach, every blush that appeared when she was caught staring, and every other emotion that came with having (ignored) feelings for James Potter.
It was that resentment and embarrassment that she took with her to the end of term party. It was a quarterly event hosted by the Prewett twins and the Marauders. After all, the twins were finishing off their Masters degrees and would no longer have an appropriate excuse for participating in co-ed events on campus. The Marauders were set to take up their social event calendar, which Remus had told Lily plenty of times was not something he personally signed up for. Nonetheless, he still slaved over making sure everything was prepared in time and everyone they wanted to be there was invited.
Lily envied Remus for his capacity to give so much to something so social. That was the major difference between the pair, Lily was far more introverted than Remus, and their appearances deceived everyone.
It was exactly that difference that had Remus begging Lily to attend the end of term party (even though there would be one next term and the one after that). Which Lily could never deny him, even if it were something illegal. Which in retrospect, the party kind of was.
It was held at a forgotten part of campus that was mostly used for storage. By the last week of term, everything was packed up and no faculty or staff seemed to notice the building. Which was why it was perfect for a party that required more room than campus housing provided. Lily was certain that someone on staff had to know it was happening every winter, but for some reason, didn’t shut it down.
Probably James Potter’s stupidly charming personality and face-.
No, she thought, No thinking of his face.
But there was nothing that could stop her from spotting him across the room when she entered. Her housemates had gone over before her, promising to help set up and make sure things were up to their standards.
Lily, usually the one to drag her feet to parties, struggled to convince herself to leave her warm and comfy bed to put on a short dress and heels. But, she felt guilty for skipping out on something her friends wanted her to be at. Especially since they were helping her financially.
Another thing that irked her pride. Which she refused to deal with until she was back home.
As soon as she joined her friends, the Marauders included, Lily was handed a warm mulled wine and complimented immensely.
“Hey, Red! For someone who’s going through a break up, you really clean up well.” Sirius joked. Marlene gave him a punch in the arm, but it was Lily’s death glare that had his smirk faltering.
“For someone who’s perpetually single, you really clean up well.”
“Ouch, Lil. Heartbreak makes you mean.”
Not willing to give him a response, she stormed her way towards the snacks table. Aggressively filling her plate with salty chips and pretzels, Lily found a quiet corner and sulked.
The music was as loud as one would expect of a college party, and she admitted to herself that it wasn’t a bad playlist. It only took Mary a few minutes of glancing at her to finally come over. “I bring a cupcake of peace.”
Lily wanted to keep pouting. After all, being alone meant she didn’t have to worry about how she acted around James…or her friends who could always see through her walls. But Mary was giving her The EyesTM, which no one could resist giving into.
Taking the tiny cupcake with a sigh, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to ruin your good time.”
“It’s okay, Lil. He deserves to be brought down a bit. We just want you to also have a good time.” Mary nudged Lily’s arm, “It’s the end of term. Let’s have one last chaotically fun night before we have to behave with family and be apart from each other.”
Before Lily could agree, Marlene popped out from behind Mary. How Lily didn’t notice the taller girl hiding, she’d never know. “Yea, Lil! We want to spend quality time with our besties without thinking about responsibility. Will you join us?” Marlene popped between Mary and Lily, holding out a hand and bowing. She stayed like that until Lily smacked her hand away with a laugh.
“Alright, alright. Let’s go, you hooligans. My wine ran out anyway.” Marlene didn’t give her any chance to change her mind, grabbing her arm and tugging back towards the group.
Remus offered her a quick side hug and kiss to her forehead. He was the only one outside of her housemates who knew what awaited her back in America.
Lily actively ignored James for rest of the night. Of course, if he was involved in a conversation, she engaged. She wasn’t rude, after all.
However, every carefully laid wall crumbled the more she drank. Lily, along with most of her friends, got more affectionate the more she drank. Which meant she had no qualms about playing Truth or Truth with a group of people. Truth or Dare was actively banned from Marauders parties since it tended to end up with injuries or jail. Settled on a bench with Marlene and Dorcas, Lily barely felt the bite of the cold.
The back of the school building led to a small patio, where someone had placed a fire pit. The only source of heat, everyone outside huddled as they took turns answering random questions.
Lily couldn’t remember a time feeling so relaxed since the end of the year party last June. Leaning her head against Marlene’s shoulder, she listened to Mary regaling the circle with an impression of her art history professor.
It figures that once her guard was down, Sirius would pounce. He had been forced to behave all evening, and she knew there was only so much their friends could do to tame him.
“Lily Evans.” His back was straight as he pretended to be having a very serious conversation.
“What?” She didn’t bother changing her posture, if he wanted a fight, he wouldn’t be getting one so easily.
“What happened with William Gibbon III?” He knew what he was starting as soon as Remus and James slapped him on various body parts.
Still, Lily was nothing if not determined to prove Sirius wrong. What was she proving against? No idea, but at that moment, with mulled wine making up most of her evening, Lily Evans was determined.
“He was a prat.”
“Right, we’ve established that long ago,” He spoke while trying to maintain a “proper” posture and dodge various hits from their friends. “I meant, what did he have to do for you to see what we all knew?”
It was the snotty tone, she decided, that really made her glare. Lifting her head, she tilted it in a way that a normal man would run from. “Careful, Sirius. It almost sounds like you were jealous of someone being in a relationship.”
“Careful, Red. It almost sounds like you’re deflecting.” As much as she didn’t want to, a smile peeked from one corner of her lips. Their bodies had shifted closer to each other, enough that Remus had a hand on both their shoulders to prevent anything serious.
She glared at him a few moments longer before giving a resigned sigh, “Alright. He wanted me to chose him over you all. Which I would never do unless it was an emergency.”
Sirius, obviously, already knew that. Which was why he pressed further. “I don’t believe you.”
“And? Not my problem.”
“You mean to tell me that you, Lily Evans, didn’t put up more of a fight to keep a relationship?” Her smugness started to dissipate. “I believe he was a prat like you say, but I don’t believe that was the only reason you broke up with him.”
Lily’s expression shifted from angered to confused, “I don’t get what-.”
Before she could finish her sentence, James placed a heavy hand on Sirius’ shoulder, “Let it go, Sirius.” His tone was far different than she’d heard from him ever before. It wasn’t unknown to his housemates, however. They all stiffened and Lily had to focus in recalling how similar this tone was to the one he used when dealing with that corporation a few weeks back at brunch.
The deep tone and the way he quietly demanded sent a shiver down her spine. That reaction alone had her grateful for him stopping Sirius from pushing further. Because Lily wasn’t sure that she could hold back her honesty after Marlene had been providing a constant flow of mulled wine.
Sirius opened his mouth to defend himself, but James continued to stare him down. With a slight pout, Sirius nodded and turned his attention back to Lily. “Fine. I’ll ask something else.”
“I think you’ve asked plenty already, but go on.” She waved her hand at him, leaning back into the bench.
“If a person came along and asked you on a date, would you accept?” James wanted to protest, but Sirius glanced at him goblin-like. After all, it wasn’t like he was insinuating anything, merely curious. It was a tame question considering the other truths asked of people that night.
Yes, if it was the right one. She paused, considering what Sirius was really asking her. Of course, he knew about her interaction with James when she was feeling particularly raw. But Lily had since closed off that avenue of thought and would rather keep it that way. “No, I have enough on my plate right now. Why add more?” Marlene’s head swiftly turned towards her and while she wanted to burst something out, she held back. Lily ignored the shocked expression of both Sirius and James. They turned towards one another and had a silent conversation.
Did Lily know that their surprise was probably from how she reacted to James at Mary’s showcase? Absolutely, but she wasn’t about to bring anything like that up in public, let alone before she’s even had time to process the last three months of drama. Which seemed far more dramatic to even think, let alone say. In her own self-depreciating way, she reprimanded herself for even feeling stressed over such things. After all, there were much more serious things to worry about. One look at the news or observing those around her, and Lily immediately was reminded how inconsequential her own problems were.
Remus cleared his throat and smiled kindly at Lily, “Lily? It’s your turn to pick someone.”
Grateful at the chance to turn the attention away from herself, Lily moved their game along. Once everyone seemed distracted, she made her way back into the building. Seeking out as many snacks as she could find that weren’t completely gone, Lily sent her friends a message telling them she was headed home to prepare for her flight the next evening. Sharing her location to all three of them, Lily made her way out into the cold once again, this time away from the comfort of her friends and mulled wine.
It was much easier to disappear into the night when she knew there would be no more time to be interrogated. In less than 24 hours, Lily would be on a flight across the ocean and everyone else wouldn’t be able to worry about her.
A perfect ending to term for Lily Evans.