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"Ah!” You slap a hand over your eyes.
Holy shit. Was that fucking Spider-man? Why the hell is he taking off his suit in an alley where anyone could stumble upon hi-
"Ah!” A shriek from the other end of the alley.
"Wow, Spider-man screams like a gir-"
Thwip
"AHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK-"
"WHO ARE YOU-"
"AHHH WHAT IS THIS- DID YOU FUCKING SHOOT YOUR WEB SHIT AT ME- WHY DID Y-"
"WHY WOULD YOU SNEAK UP ON SPIDER-MAN-”
"YOU’RE IN AN ALLEY DUMB ASS! ANYONE COULD WALK INTO IT- YOU MAY AS WELL HAVE UNDRESSED IN THE CEREAL AISLE-"
You flail around, attempting to claw the webbing off of the hand on your face-
"OKAY, WELL I-"
“I'M NOT A CRIMINAL, MAN, MY HAND IS LITERALLY STUCK TO MY EYES! I WAS TRYING TO RESPECT YOUR PRIVACY!
“YOU SURPRISED ME-”
You stop flailing, turning towards the voice of Spider-man and throwing your hands into the air in disbelief.
“SURPRISED YOU? IS THIS REALLY THE IDIOT PROTECTING OUR STREETS-"
"NOW THAT'S A LITTLE HARSH DON'T YOU THI-"
"WHO GETS UN-SUITED RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN-"
"YOU'D BE SURPRISED BY THE A-"
"PLEASE JUST GET THIS SHIT OFF OF MY FACE PLE-"
"OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY-"
Five minutes later.
You grumble to yourself, stripping a stray piece of webbing from your hand, scowling at the suited man to your side. He gives a sheepish shrug and rubs a hand across the back of his neck in a display of remorse. You roll your eyes and flick the stringy substance away from you, rubbing the back of your hand where it had been stuck to you. You shiver at the memory of the sticky feeling.
Spider-man clears his throat, and you spare another glance towards him “Sorry about that- reflexes, y’know?”
You give him an unimpressed stare.
“Can I get you a coffee or- or something? Whatever you’d prefer…” He trails off for a moment, rocking back and forth on his feet. “To make up for it, y’know. Since I'm technically off the clock and all.”
You stare at him a bit longer, considering it. He does seem genuinely regretful, and you are feeling kinda chilly, not having expected to be out so long. You look down at your previously webbed hand once more, and then back to him. You shrug your shoulders, thinking a warm coffee could be nice. You nod. “Alright.”
His demeanor brightens significantly, and the whites of his mask’s eyes - how does he do that? - expand as he stands taller, clapping his hands together. “Great- I know this really good place just around the corner.” He spins, heading out toward the mouth of the alley without waiting for any further reply, and you hesitantly follow. He disappears around the corner, so you pick up your speed a little, but when you round the side he’s…not there? You look around for a moment, feeling lost, and puff out a breath.
You’re about to change course and just head home, forgetting the ordeal entirely, when you’re startled by a flash of red dropping down in front of you. “Jesus-!” You clutch a hand to your chest, and feel heat burn at your cheeks when you see Spider-man again. “Dude!”
He holds his hands out, waving them gently. “Sorry! Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you-”
You level him with a glower.
“-Alright, I expected it a little bit- but I didn’t think you’d jump so bad, I just wanted to lighten the mood a little.” He pulls his hands in closer, disarmingly, and turns again to start walking towards the direction you assume the coffee is in. “Aaand, I was checking to make sure the place was open. It is pretty late-” He drops his hands, instead pointing an accusatory finger at you as he moves. “Why’re you out so late, anyway?”
You scoff, and point a finger back at him. You are so not telling Spiderman you were out this late just for an ice cream run, your dignity has taken enough damage tonight, so instead you opt for the excuse of privacy. “Respectfully, Mr. Man,”
He interrupts with a quiet “That’s not- hey, you forgot the hyphen-”
You continue, undeterred, “You are a stranger, a stranger who just stuck my hand to my face with your…your goop-”
He makes an affronted sound. “It is not goop!”
You walk silently, staring at him tiredly.
He stands a little taller. “...It's a complex web fluid comprised of various amino acids.”
You lower your finger, and raise your eyebrows at him. That's really cool, actually. How intelligent is this guy? However, refusing to show you’re impressed in this moment, you continue unseriously as vengeance for the earlier mishap. “Should you be telling me this? What if I was some sort of like- “ You wave a hand around vaguely. “I don’t know- evil super villain?”
He snorts. “I’m proving a point!”
“Yeah, well, your amino acid ropes feel like snot.”
His face scrunches in disgust at the comparison, a grimace under his mask, and you smile a little smugly at him, as if to say you are proving a point of your own. “Goopy!”
He laughs a little at this, his shoulders dropping in defeat, shaking his head. A kinder smile stretches across your face, feeling your mood lifting at the friendly atmosphere, letting out a small laugh along with him.
You eye him curiously as you guys continue walking towards the shop, an amiable lack of words shared between the two of you. The shock has worn off, as weird as it still feels to walk down the street with a spandex clad person at your side, and you think more clearly about him now. He’s…just a regular guy. He seems so much less larger than life when you’re next to him, down on the street, rather than watching him accomplish impossible feats from behind a screen.
Apparently tired of feeling your eyes on him, he angles his head towards you, and “What? What is it- what's with the ogling?”
You flush a little, embarrassed to have been caught, and abruptly look away. “I’m not ogling you, assh- oh- ohh, so you can tell when someone's staring, but not when someone accidentally approaches you in an alley, huh?” You deflect.
He sputters a little at this, grumbling and hunching his shoulders slightly. “Will you let that go, already, you startled me! My spidey senses-”
“Your what-”
“Normally warn me of that kind of thing!”
He seems a little distressed at this fact- whatever the hell “spidey senses” are- and so you pull back a bit on the teasing. You look forward again, silent for a little, before talking again, voice calmer.
“...I wasn't staring, y'know. You just happened to be in the direction I was looking while I was…thinking about you-”
He puffs up his chest, spinning in a little circle as he walks, somehow making a stupid self-satisfied face from under the mask, his previous turmoil completely gone. You roll your eyes, quick to continue talking.
“Thinking about how you seem more…human, than I thought you'd be. Like, you're just a regular guy like everyone else…Or- or whatever.” You finish, quieter, eyes darting away from him again.
His shoulders relax, the proud energy dissipating, as he seems surprised by your confession. The whites of his masks eyes widen a fraction, before diminishing, and you start to feel a little uncomfortable under his analyzing stare. A small “Huh,” near absent of sound, leaves him, and you start to squirm as he continues to stare, evidently not expecting your reply.
Growing increasingly nervous, you tack a joke onto your previous words, trying to lighten his heavy gaze. You clear your throat. “Human enough to accidentally shoot goop at someone's face-” You stick out your tongue at him, and he groans, but not willing an indulging retort, he announces you've arrived.
Passing some brightly colored chairs and a table sat out front, you move your attention from him to the building at your feet. Parroting him, you produce a soft “Huh.” It's a small shop, with a bright sign that says Waffle N Sip. You smile, not having expected this, and glance at Spider-man. He shrugs his shoulders, his mask making a cat-like face as the eyes squint to crescents. He gestures with his hand to follow, and makes his way into the shop.
The door jingles as you step in, Spider-man holding it open for you, and you can’t help but deeply inhale the air surrounding you, the aroma of various sweets floating around. Spider-man laughs at this. “I know, right? Smells amazing.”
You nod quickly, agreeing, and step further inside, looking around. Spider-man walks past you to the counter, just as someone emerges from the back to step behind it. You rub your hands across your arms, adjusting to the warmer temperature inside, and startle a little when your new…friend(?) calls for you.
“This is my pal,” Okay, friend it is, you guess- “uh…” His shoulders slump for a moment, realizing he doesn't know your name. He scratches the back of his neck, though with his suit on it looks a little funny. “My pal- and they would like a…?” He waits for your order, and your eyes widen a little, anxious about being unprepared. Ordering food and drinks always made you a little nervous.
“Uh…i'll uh- i'll just have whatever you have!” You manage, a tight smile on your face, giving him a thumbs up. He nods slowly, and turns back towards the barista, before whipping back around to you. “You aren't allergic to anything, are you?” You shake your head, no. He nods again.
He relays the order, has what you assume is friendly conversation with said barista, and then turns back to you. “Thanks, Spider-man.” You offer a genuine smile, and he gives you a thumbs up in return.
“You're welcome, unnamed victim of my web fluid-”
“Dude, gross-”
“Oh, come on-”
You interrupt and give him your name, and he perks up, repeating it kindly. He offers a hand to shake, and you snort at the formality, taking it and returning the shake firmly.
“Good doing business with you, Mr. Man.”
His mask’s eyes squint, and he crowds closer to you, as if ready to argue again, but he pauses just before the bell on the counter is rung, already turned around to head towards it. He grabs both drinks and leaves some money despite the barista’s protests that they owe him one.
You wave at the employee, and start towards the door, accepting the drink from Spider-man. His fingers brush yours as you take the drink and your brain stalls for just a moment. Warm spandex. He pauses and looks at you, head cocked to the side, concerned- one of his white eyes enlarged while the other shrinks, in lieu of a raised eyebrow. You shake your head, and give a reassuring smile, heading out the door with him in tow.
The cold air makes you shiver as it hits you on the way out, and you cradle your coffee closer to you, gingerly taking a sip. It tastes kind of familiar. “Mmm. This is good- what is it?”
Spider-man hesitates to reply, clearing his throat a little and flapping his free hand around, dismissive, not facing you. “Oh uh- a- a secret drink, really. The Spider-man special, yeah- just for me- with the exception of you right now. So you can't order it. Ever.”
You stare at him blankly. “Uh huh.” Turning your cup to the side, you read the description on the sticker receipt. Ah. “The Spider-man special wouldn't happen to be a pumpkin spice latte, would it?” His spine goes ramrod straight.
He completely ignores what you've said, heading down the sidewalk again and picking up his pace, talking loudly. “What's that? We should head to the park? Great idea, pal!” You laugh at him, and start to follow, entertained by the animated way that he walks, moving about in an almost cartoonish fashion.
He slows a little so that you can catch up, and you walk in step with each other, nearing the park. The streets are considerably quiet, the small sounds coming from open windows putting you at ease. A gentle smile naturally makes its way to your face, the park coming into view.
Spider-man strolls towards a bench near the pond, taking a seat in the middle of it. You follow suit and sit beside him, close enough to feel heat radiating from him. He sighs dramatically as he leans back and you sip your coffee again.
You notice you haven't seen him drink his coffee at all, and raise your eyebrows. “That's gonna get cold, y’know.” You encourage.
He huffs, and brings a hand up to gesture around his clothed face, and your mouth falls open slightly in understanding. “Ah- okay, well…” You bring a hand up to cover your eyes, just like before. “Don't web me this time?” You joke, smiling.
You hear him take a breath, and then laugh, sounding a little surprised. He's quiet for a moment, as if deliberating, and then you hear a rustling of fabric, followed by a comically loud sipping noise. You bump him gently with your coffee held hand as a chide. He makes a sound of genuine delight, and you smile to yourself.
Bringing your cup back up to your face for a drink, you knock the lid into your chin on accident, before reaching your mouth. He makes a quiet sound of amusement, reaching a hand out to pull your fingers from your eyes. You jump slightly, letting him pull them away from your face, keeping your eyes closed.
“It's alright- you may have seen too much already anyway-” He reassures quietly, sounding a little dejected.
“I didn't-” You backtrack, opening your eyes slowly. “I didn't see your face.”
Now open, your eyes can trail across what little you can see of his face. His mask is pulled up just past his mouth, settled on the bridge of his nose…Huh. Not wanting to allow him the opportunity to accuse you of ogling again, or allow your brain to start making any sort of opinions, you cut your curious gaze short, and meet his masked eyes again. “I didn't see it, don't worry.”
He relaxes a little, his defensive pose receding.
“...I did, however, see the waistband of some very interesting Thor themed underwe-”
He shrieks. You laugh.
You laugh together. He has a nice smile, you think. His laugh tapers off, and he cocks his head to the side, as if hearing something you can't, and it takes you a moment to notice. You eye him questioningly, and he stands up, seeming regretful, setting his coffee next to you on the bench. “I have to go-” He explains, apologetic. “Crime, y’know, responsibility, yada yada-” As he walks backwards, pointing a thumb behind him.
“Thought you were off the clock, huh?” You smile at him, clearly lighthearted, and he grins, pulling his mask down over his chin, throwing his hands up. You catch his smile again for just a moment, and feel the slightest hint of warmth in your cheeks.
“Responsibility- you know how it is-” He picks up his pace, and flings webbing from his wrists, before launching into the air after it. Your eyes widen at the sight, a bright smile on your face.
He flips and you yell after him “Show off!” His laugh echoes from the air as he disappears into the maze of buildings.
You stare after him for a few minutes, enjoying the serenity of the park, and the calm feeling of knowing he's out there taking care of things.
You should probably head home…
Wait-
“Fuck! My ice cream!”