Work Text:
"Alright, fine."
Ding
Damien sighed into the bowl, looking down at the murky combination of what looked to be tapioca pudding, vegemite and hot garbage liquid. Fuck the Big Bite. His friends were laughing at him, somewhere off in the distance, somewhere under the ringing in his ears. He didn't want to eat it. But he did.
Oh. Oh. Oh no.
"Oh. Oh."
His friends were all still laughing, talking over one another as they tried to read him.
"Damien I literally cannot tell with you."
"Don't do this, man."
Shayne, softer, "You good?"
He coughed, swallowed. "Ohhh Nooo." It was fucking horrible. "That's fucking horrible! That's wretched. That is absolutely not fucking legal. Garrett, what the fuck, man!"
"Okay, so if anyone but Damien got this, they'd be in a ball," Shayne joked.
"Yeah, absolutely, this shit is gruesome," Damien agreed.
All the cast and the crew were laughing at him, the majority of behind the camera shaking with silent laughter. He swallowed again, around nothing but the bile rising in his throat. He was cool. It was fine.
"Vegemite, sour pudding and hotdog vodka."
"Damien you just had a Rubbish Pudding. Vegemite, white bread, rum, and cream cheese frosting," announced Courtney.
The rest of the shoot passed by in a haze, Damien not able to shake the taste from his mouth, brain stuck on the bitterness. Shayne kept shooting him worried glances, and on more than one occasion Damien could feel his boyfriend brushing his thigh under the table with a warm, comforting hand. Shayne was wonderful, really. Damien, even in the funk the Big Bite had dropped him into, couldn't help but glance at him with heart-eyes turned up to eleven. They hadn't been dating long, but Damien had been up in cloud nine ever since, practically floating through every day. He had been in love with Shayne for years on years, and to have his feelings returned, to finally be able to call the man he was in love with his was a wonderful feeling.
A few hours later, when Damien was sat at his desk, Shayne slid over and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.
"Doing okay?" Shayne murmured into his ear, "You've been distracted since the Bite."
Damien hummed his agreement, "Just tired, I think. What's left on the schedule for today?"
"I have a meeting on prep for the slap video if you wanted to sit in, but you're all clear for the rest of the day."
Damien nodded, "Yeah, I'll sit in. Gotta make sure you don't do stupid shit without a safety net."
*
The shoot for the slap video came faster than Damien would have liked. He knew the fans would be confused and, probably, sad if he didn't participate but he couldn't shake the wrongness in his gut every time he remembered he would have to slap his boyfriend across the face. He knew Shayne had pitched the idea, and was more than on board-hell, he knew Shayne was probably far more into it than he would ever admit-but it still filled him with a roiling ball of nerves. What if he hit too hard and Shayne broke up with him? What if he couldn't do it, and every one found out about their relationship? He knew that any reveal would be edited out if they didn't give the go-ahead, but his anxiety was rampant. Not only that, but he knew he had to react positively to every one else slapping his boyfriend.
In the end it was a third, completely different thing he should have worried about.
The shoot was going well and Damien was sure he was masking his displeasure at seeing Shayne get slapped well. Shayne had started out the video with a preface that it was his idea, as planned, and then put on the black blindfold.
It was almost Damien's turn, having watched Spencer, Keith, Noah, Heidi go before him. Tommy had just walked up to the bat, and Damien knew that meant he was next. Shayne was doing well on the guesses, at a 50% ratio, putting his psychology degree to good use (clearly).
"Did I just get punched in the face?" Shayne laughed out, and Damien had to push down the urge to fight Tommy all of a sudden, taking a small lap in shock.
"You have to understand how confusing that was for me," Shayne said, before listing out his reasoning for a wrong guess.
Damien stepped up.
"Alright, next slapper is approaching," Kiana said, "what would you like from this person?"
"Just a kiss," Spencer said, to everyones laughter. Damien felt his heart drop for a moment, but went with the joke, kissing his fingers and holding them out to Shayne. It wasn't like Spencer meant anything from it, he knew that they weren't out as a couple yet, but it hit a bit close to home. They'd been together for a few weeks, but hadn't had their first kiss yet. Damien was okay with that, truly, he was, he respected the fact that Shayne wanted to take things slow, especially since he himself didn't have that high of a sex drive. But. Well. He really wanted to actually kiss his boyfriend.
"They can just run their hand along my hand," Shayne said, as if that would help him guess.
"Okay..." Kiana said, as Damien quickly swiped his fingertips along Shayne's hand, "that's awesome."
Damien held back his giggles as Shayne said, "Wow... okay."
"Did that give you anything?" Kiana asked from behind the camera.
"No," Shayne replied with a huff of a laugh. "That's probably the worst thing I could have done."
Damien reached down to grab the chalk, coating his hand in it as Shayne vamped for the camera a bit more. He was getting nervous now, and he was worried it was coming across on camera. He took a breath and waited for Kiana to count him down.
"In three." His heart was pounding so hard he could hear it in his ears.
"Two." He let his non-dominant hand drift up, and held his shoulder for equal parts support and comedy.
"One." He slapped his boyfriend. It wasn't hard, certainly not the hardest he'd ever slapped someone, and not the hardest slap Shayne had had that day by far. Honestly, he kind of missed. Damien could almost feel his teeth before he was so anxious, but it had ended up being a sort of anti-climax. He closed his eyes for a moment. Still, that had not felt good to do.
"That was interesting," Shayne was saying. Damien waited with bated breath while Shayne tried to figure out who had slapped him. "You know, that was subtle. There, there was... it, it, it was more. It was almost, like, intimate."
Naturally.
"It was almost sweet. That was almost a, a, a caress or a massage in a way."
He was really laying it on thick, and it was then that Damien knew he had been got. There was no way Shayne didn't know it was him.
"I think this is someone who likes me. They care about me."
For the video, Damien made a thinking face and shook his hand as if to say 'ehhh, maybe.' Internally, he was stressing. He didn't necessarily have a problem with their friends and coworkers finding out they were in a relationship, but he didn't really want it to come out during the slap video of all videos.
"They don't want to hurt me. They're probably like... a friend. A good friend."
Okay... so again, Damien didn't really want to come out in the slap video, but surely Shayne didn't need to lay on the no-homo quite so thick.
"A best friend even. My bro, even. So I'm gonna go with Damien."
Huh. Ouch. Sure. Bro.
Damien blinked rapidly, trying to will back unbidden tears. Even if he was trying to not make their relationship obvious, he don't have to call them bros. Remembering the camera just in time, Damien plastered on a smile as Kiana announced that Shayne had guessed correctly. He blew... something out to Shayne. He didn't even know what. A point, maybe?
"I didn't want to hurt you," Damien said.
"I knew it! I knew it," Shayne said.
"I didn't want to hurt you." Damien repeated, quieter this time, sort of trailing off.
The rest of the video passed without much fanfare, with Damien trying desperately to keep his reactions normal and happy. He still wasn't happy about watching so many people slap his boyfriend, but he was slightly more on board with it after his go. A horrible little part of himself was, at least. Shayne did a pretty good job guessing, maintaining his 50% ratio before barely eeking out the win with seven correct guesses to six wrong ones.
"It was us, Shayne," Damien joked as Shayne removed the blindfold, aiming for levity that he wasn't feeling inside.
After the shoot, Damien could tell he had regressed into himself. He was quiet. Sadder. Shayne kept sending him worried glances, but Damien ignored them.
*
Later, when Damien was flopped on his couch with Freyja curled up on his lap and Zelda on his chest, his phone buzzed, and he lazily reached out to check it. When he saw it was Shayne, he toyed with the idea of leaving him on read.
baby boy: are you okay?
His phone buzzed two more times in quick succession and he sighed. He couldn't ignore Shayne even if he wanted to.
baby boy: you kinda ignored me after the shoot today...
baby boy: did i do something wrong?
dames: idk shayne do u think u did?
baby boy: what does that even meeaannn???
dames: i know we're still new n all, but idk. dont love when my bf goes hard on the just friends thing, even if we are trying to be subtle abt dating
baby boy: damien, what? dating?
Holy shit. No. What the fuck.
Okay so, sure, they didn't have a sit down conversation about the fact that they dating but Damien was so sure that they were on the same page. They had been so couple-y. Shayne had taken him out on at least four dates, where he insisted on paying, and wooed Damien so thoroughly his heart had felt like it was bursting out of his chest. They had spent 80% of their time outside of work together, and Damien had fallen asleep cuddled up to him most of those nights.
Tears welled up in his eyes, spilling over in hot, salty waterfalls. His chest was tight, his hands shaking as his mind raced. He had just ruined everything, then. He had fallen in love with his best friend, and just assumed that they were dating because... what? Shayne was being nice to him? Shayne was hanging out with him, Shayne was comfortable with him? Fuck.
His phone buzzed, an incoming call. He let it ring out.
He's not sure how long passed. His phone kept buzzing with calls, he kept ignoring them. Then he heard a banging at his door.
"Damien, open up!" Shayne called through the wood, knocking harder.
"Just go away, Shayne. It's fine. We don't have to talk about it."
"You have to know that's not true. We can't not talk about this, Dames."
Damien huffs, suddenly annoyed. He stomps over to the door and throws it open. His anger is short-lived, though. Shayne muscles his way through the door, kicking it closed behind him, and walking Damien back until he hit a wall. He was bracketing Damien in. He was gorgeous.
"I'm going to kiss you right now, okay? Please say if its okay."
Damien blinked at him, breathless. "Yeah. Yeah, please."
Shayne leaned in, his lips warm and slightly chapped. Damien's arms came up, one hand fisting in his hair, and the other coming up to rest on Shayne's cheek. It was perfect.
When they broke apart, Shayne whispered, "Think it's time I got with the program."