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It wasn’t until was touching down at Dulles that Buck finally breathed.
The last six months had been nothing short of a series of nightmares. He didn’t complain out loud about it (well, not to his team in Los Angeles), but so many things haunted his dreams. He spent a good deal of time on the phone with various members of his immortal family trying to navigate the fraught waters that were his current life.
He had been ecstatic to have Eddie back at the firehouse after recovering from the shooting, but there was a shadow to the man. He didn’t outright hesitate, but it seemed like he was second-guessing himself. Buck had done what he could with his best friend, leaving information about PTSD in places that Christopher wouldn’t find and offering to go with him to the VA if he wanted to, but so far Eddie was being his stubborn self, just more so. And Christopher was actually having more nightmares because of the shooting and all the chaos that the whole situation had brought (not to mention someone at his school had shown the teen Buck’s ill-advised crane climb, Chris had glared at him for days after that). Buck just did what he could for the Diazes.
That would have been fine, all well and good, if not for the other thing.
Maddie was gone. She’d left him behind. He didn’t blame her, could never blame her, he just wished he knew where she was going so that he could help her from afar if she needed it. But Buck understood mental illness more than most people gave him credit for - probably the reason he got along with Booker so well on the Frenchman’s hard days. Buck had waited patiently to hear from her in some capacity, and the only thing that had earned him was a punch to the face.
Buck got why Chimney was so angry. Buck understood why Chim was at the end of his rope when he got to his apartment. But he also thought that Chim understood why Maddie had left him the most barebones call, while Chim got a video with actual detail . Hell, he was still pissed at Maddie for putting him in the middle for that.
But he still didn’t deserve that damn punch. Even if he didn’t blame Chim for completely losing control, he didn’t deserve that punch. If any of his immortal family had been there, the man would have been in cuffs seconds after the hit or on the ground unconscious, emotional breakdown be damned.
The tiny fracture had healed up in only a few minutes thanks to his immoral healing that all, save for Eddie, were still in the dark about. It wasn’t his first punch to the face in his life, after all. The truly horrific bruise faded only moments after that. The pain had quickly stopped before the black and blue was nothing but a memory. But he kept reliving the scene in his head, and reliving it at work because of the light bruising he’d put on his face with make up (another thing he’d have to thank Nile for one of these days).
Between the Diazes and the Buckley-Han drama he was in the middle of, Buck had to take a break. So he called up Bobby, cashed in a day of leave right before their next four day break and hopped on a plane to Virginia.
Here’s hoping the change in scenery would help his troubled mind.
Ever since Spencer had sent him the address to his new apartment, Buck had joined in with goodnaturedly teasing him.
There had been a running joke within the Guard that Spencer would never leave his old apartment, since it suited him perfectly and was everything the man could ever ask for in his current life. He’d surprised them all a year later with the address to a converted loft in Alexandra. While everyone else had popped in and out over the past two years, this would be Buck’s first time seeing it, especially since he had been avoiding the east coast for the majority of his adult life.
The building was a gorgeous red brick, lovingly restored to its former glory and sitting primely on a decently populated corner. The first floor was dedicated to stores, taken up primarily by a quaint little cafe and a clearly popular used bookstore, if the line to enter was any sort of hint. The back half was a community gym. The four floors above were converted into four lofts, all two stories, all featuring three bedrooms and some of the original fixtures still remaining inside the building.
So, the perfect home for an immortal FBI agent with a coffee addiction and a rotating book collection, as well as his FBI agent / life partner who took pride in his physical health.
Buck snapped a quick photo of the cafe’s sign and sent it to Derek (mostly because Spencer was still somewhat allergic to technology, though he was getting better about it), before asking for coffee orders. What came back was three specific ones, before the man realized just exactly where he was. He was just collecting the drinks when Derek slipped into the cafe, leveling him with a look that made him feel like he was about to get told off by Athena.
“And here I thought you were supposed to text at the airport,” Derek snarked, coming over and collecting two of the drinks from the counter.
Buck shrugged. “Uber exists for a reason, didn’t want to put you guys out. My flight got in early anyways.” He gathered up the other two drinks and the bag of pastries that would not go to waste before following Derek out of the cafe and around the building.
It only took a few moments for the two men to enter Spencer and Derek’s spacious loft, one of the two on the top floor of the building, overlooking a nearby park. The front room was spacious, a semi-open floor plan with a half wall separating part of the kitchen from the living and dining rooms. Beautiful hardwood floors ran through the room, leading Buck’s eyes to the large windows that brought in so much natural light. The place felt lived in, homey, moreso that pretty much anywhere he’d been in his life.
Spencer was seated at the dining room table with what looked like large blueprints stretched across most of the surface, an earpiece firmly in his ear. He didn’t react to the sound of the door or the footsteps, until he silently held his hand out for his coffee. At the head of the table was Penelope, laptop open and seemingly biting her lips to keep from exclaiming a loud greeting when she caught sight of Buck walking in.
Derek gave Buck the quickest of head-jerks towards the living room, giving the two some semblance of privacy for whatever they were doing.
“The Guard is doing some sort of rescue operation,” Derek said, answering Buck’s unasked question as he settled down on the couch with his coffee. Buck sat opposite in one of the two armchairs, the one that looked lesser-used.
“Figured it was either that or just something I needed to keep out of. It happens,” Buck shrugged. He bit into his pastry and took in the autumn afternoon outside.
The two descended into small talk, catching up on the latest random things happening in their lives and the fun little gossip that their respective teams got into. Derek had the added bonus of knowing Nile growing up, which meant that Buck was bestowed with many little tidbits to use as blackmail as needed (nothing says “teach me how to fake an injury” like gossip from an old friend). It helped pass the time while Spencer talked someone through a series of complicated hallways and Garcia did her own grumbling about incompetent hacker-wannabees, which naturally sent Derek and Buck into fits of chuckles.
Finally, after what ended up being a few hours, Spencer took off his ear piece and tossed it down. “There are days that I’m happy that Booker is back with us, and there are days that I want to take his gun. The man is a terrible shot.”
“He had every right to be distracted. It’s young love. Have a heart and go hug your brother,” Garcia ordered, shutting down her computer before going to do the same.
Buck barely had time to stand from his chair before Penelope almost bowled him over with the force of her hug. “Long time no see!” The smile that stretched across his face was genuine, not a trace of the stress and exhaustion that he’d been dealing with for weeks.
A hand on his shoulder drew him from his brief thoughts. Spencer didn’t try to hug him - Penelope wasn’t about to give him up - but this worked well. Buck shifted his head to briefly rest on his fellow immortal brother’s hand.
This was family.
The next few days were spent exploring the capital, as well as getting reacquainted with a returned Guard. Nile had almost taken him to the ground when she’d snuck into Spencer’s loft just a day after he’d arrived (“Snuck is such a dirty word. I texted Spencer first!”) and practically tackled him out of bed at six in the morning. The resulting fight lasted all of two minutes before Nicky and Joe sat on them on Andy’s orders and they all were forced to go back to sleep for at least one more hour.
Catching up with everyone had lifted a small part of the weight from Buck’s shoulders. He didn’t exactly like being separated from people he considered family, though he completely understood why it needed to be this way. He wasn’t about to move across the country; he could just imagine the Diaz riot, regardless of the reactions of everyone else.
He spoke to Christopher nightly thanks to facetime, which helped the teenager immensely. His nightmares were getting worse, imagining a world where Eddie died, or Buck, or someone else at the 118 that was important to him, or a truly horrific combination of that. Buck, for his part, did his best to ease Christopher and be his sounding board, while also firing off increasingly annoyed texts to Eddie demanding Chris get in therapy. He didn’t have the medical training to truly help him.
Hmm, that was a thought. No, stop, Buck shook his head in the dark, almost to chase the idea away for now. Not yet, stay on track.
Regardless, the vacation was well needed, leaving him on a much more even keel. Through talking with Joe and Andy, he had a plan to deal with any fallout regarding Chimney’s actions (after he calmed them down by saying that yes, he absolutely should have told him, and yes, he had every right to be angry and distraught, he just didn’t agree with the physical violence). With Booker, he found a friend that was willing to deal with the emotional breakdown a year in the making, with learning about Daniel and the truth about his passing.
Nicky and Joe put him to work in Spencer’s kitchen, with the mildest of grumbles from their host, teaching him more recipes that he could pull off quickly, both at the firehouse or on nights he just didn’t want to cook a lot.
In all, he spent much of his days busy, leaving him crashing into bed exhausted at night. It helped, so much.
The evening before his flight back to Los Angeles, Penelope came by and stole him away, bringing him up to the roof for some privacy. There was a small outdoor area set up, which made it easy for the two of them to curl up in chairs together with warm blankets and pumpkin spice lattes from the little cafe, taking in the beautiful area.
“So…” Buck let the word be drawn out. “You didn’t bring me up here to test my healing factor from falling, right?”
Penelope shook her head, giving him a small, regretful smile. “No, I promise. But I do have to apologize to you. I swear I didn’t mean to go tracking her down-”
Buck’s head snapped around, eyes focused on her. He forced himself to take a deep breath before he spoke. “Maddie?”
“I keep an eye on everyone that’s close to our families, Evan,” Penelope said, choosing her words carefully. “That includes your parents, who deserve to have their reputation be destroyed, and your sister. I do it because I care, and because this is how I can protect the ones we love. It’s the best weapon I have.”
Buck nodded. “Is she- she’s-”
“Alive. I know where she is. I know that she used a card in her name. I promise you, she’s okay.”
His latte barely was on the table before he flung himself towards her, hugging her tightly. “Thank you. Just… thank you. That’s all I’ve wanted to know. That she’s alive. I can wait until she calls me or emails me. Don’t tell me where she is. But thank you.”
Penelope just hugged him tighter, giving a subtle thumbs up to Spencer and Booker, standing in the dimly lit doorway of the stairwell.
After spending five days in Virginia, Buck had thought that coming back to Los Angeles would be a breeze.
The goodbyes at Spencer and Derek’s loft had been hard. He probably wouldn’t see anyone for a little while, depending on where their next missions and cases took them. He himself wouldn’t be traveling for a bit, unless it was to wherever Maddie was to check in on her or bring her home. The ball was in her court now.
He didn’t end up sleeping on his red-eye flight thanks to turbulence and a very loud group behind him planning on going to a baseball game against the Dodgers (something about a trash can? He really needed to pay more attention to everything that happened with the local teams. He made a mental note to ask Derek when he landed).
Thanks to a delayed landing, his Uber driver getting lost, and just the general travel mayhem that seemed to only exist at LAX, it took Buck an extra hour to get back to his loft, leaving him with only a few hours to nap, shower, and change before his first shift back. In fact, he barely got the shower and clean clothes on before there was a knock at the door.
Before he could make his way to the stairs, the door opened, keys clicked as they were tossed onto the counter, and the thud of crutches echoed in the room. The smile that settled on Buck’s face was one he loved. This was his other family, like it or not.
“Do you think he’s home yet, Dad?” Christopher’s voice carried up to Buck.
“He should be. His flight landed safely, anyway. Even if he was too stubborn to ask for a lift.”
Buck snorted, gifts from the others tucked into his arms, and moved to the railing. “Just for that, Diaz, I’m giving all your gifts to Hen.”
“Buck!”
“Don’t you even think about it, Buckley!”
Though he’d probably be begging for a nap later on once on shift, this, in Buck’s opinion, was the best way to spend the hours before going to save lives. Being with the family he’d made.
That evening in his bunk, Buck snapped awake, shivering and quietly gasping. He slipped from his cot, palmed his phone, and crept out of the room.
Just as he caught his breath, a text came through.
Another one. They keep getting younger. The boy couldn’t be older than seventeen.
Buck leaned against the closest fire truck and tried to gather his thoughts. He’d heard from the others how they discovered when a new immortal was born. The dreams, the visions. How they’d have to put together the little details they noticed to figure out where this person was.
He quickly added to the text chain. He didn’t just drown. He was in an ice bath. Metal tub. Someone held him under, but he didn’t feel like he was fighting it until the very last moment. After a pause, he added, He had something in his hand. A star?
A sheriff’s badge. Small town, probably, Nile added. We’ll start researching. Get back on shift, but don’t sleep. You won’t be able to until you see this kid.
Buck sent her a private text acknowledging her advice, before checking the time. Early enough that starting breakfast wouldn’t be too out of the ordinary.
As he pulled eggs from the fridge, he swore he heard a howl in the distance. It was going to be a long few days.