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“See! She talking about Nora? Who’s Nora?” Steven’s voice cracked. Rose looked over at Greg and suppressed a gasp. His eyes pricked with tears and full of sadness. He looked over to Steven as the sadness in his eye was replaced with joy. He laughed as he wiped them away; Rose placed a hand on his back.
“Well, Nora is you,” Steven paused for a second before his eyes widened.
“I’m my mom and my sister? What kind of magical destiny is this?” Steven pulled at his hair. Rose laughed. He’s right: what kind of magical destiny would that be?
“No silly. Nora is the name Pink picked out for you. Well, the one she picked because she thought you were going to be a girl,”
“Mom never picked a boy name?” Steven’s voice trembled. Rose’s heart sank but she quickly put on a smile.
“Well uh, Pink was never the best at naming things. If we had let her name you it would’ve been some ridiculous,” she laughed nervously.
“Did…did she want me to be Nora?” Steven grabbed and clenched his shirt. Rose shrugged, trying to keep her cool.
“She just wanted you to live. That’s what was important to her. And look at you: you’re here and alive and that’s so wonderful! Is it not?”
“But what am I here for? Mom didn’t want me! She never did! I was accident!” Rose flinched and Greg grew squeamish. Aw jeez. “I don’t try and lie to me! I know it’s the truth,”
“I mean it’s more complicated than that—“ Rose tried to calm Steven but he only grew more agitated.
“You guys keep telling me about how you don’t how understand why she kept me! I don’t either and she’s trying to tell me!”
“You guys say what now?“ Greg raised a brow at Rose.
“Steven we never said that!”
“You say you wonder why Pink decided to have a baby of all things! She was terrified of being shattered,”
“That’s different!”
“Not it’s not! Besides, mom knew about something and she keeps leaving me these puzzle pieces behind! She thought I was going to have this ‘magical destiny’ as Nora but I’m not Nora. I ruined Nora’s magical destiny. Mom had me because she thought I would be Nora and now I’m here. She had me for nothing!” Rose placed her hand on Steven’s shoulder.
“Steven, Pink just picked out the name Nora. She recorded those tapes days apart. You have to understand that we gems don’t have a good grasp on human gender. She didn’t even know you could be born a boy,”
“Or what a boy was,” Greg added. “I think you’re reading into things too much, kiddo,” Steven stood silent. His eyes darted around as if to look for something else to yell about. They just waited—anxiously.
“Well what about you guys?” His voice was softer and more defeated. “Did you expect anything out of me?” They looked at each other then back at Steven. Rose shrugged and chuckled.
“I hoped that you’d grow up and be happy. I want to see you grow, Steven! I want to see you reach adulthood. It’s all I could ever hope for,” Steven looked over at his dad. He also shrugged.
“I was hoping you’d like the things I liked. Like rock music. Pink hated all the music I had,” Steven frowned.
“Seriously?” His harsher tone returned, “Pearl couldn’t even look at me. You three fight. Garnet didn’t talk to you for months and Amethyst feels like she can’t talk to any of you guys and it’s all because of me!”
“That’s between me and the gems,” Rose lightly squeezed his shoulder. Steven moved her hand.
“Ever since Jasper, Lapis and Peridot came to earth you’ve all been acting weird. I thought it was all because of my mom but she’s not here anymore!”
“Exactly! All of this is happening because Pink isn’t here to explain herself,”
“And if not a Pink Diamond thing; it’s a gem war thing,” Greg added and Rose nodded in agreement. “Everyone is just confused right now, bud and it’s not your fault,”
“Yes it is! Sooner or later you’re going to realize I was better off never existing!”
“Steven!” Rose couldn’t help but yell. She didn’t want to hear that. Never. Never ever. Steven frozen and held his own hand. They bit stared at each other, wide eyed.
Tears formed around her eyes and she sighed. Steven’s gaze softened. “Steven,” she said, softer. She thumbed his tears away.
“Listen; the gems are conflicted about our decision and actions, not your existence,” Greg said, he crouched down to Steven level and held his hand. “We were in over our heads,”
“Exactly. We wanted to raise you as our own kid,” Rose explained. “And—oh how stupid we were—we thought we could get away with not telling anyone. That was our first mistake. We should’ve told you and the gems the truth. We should’ve never listened to Pink,”
“What exactly did she tell you?” Steven asked.
“She told us to never tell anyone. That the gems could never know that you were her son. She thought we would shun you or do something horrible. I kept telling her, ‘we won’t, I promise. They’ll listen, we can’t do this’ but Pink never listened. I thought she could change for once. How foolish I was,” Steven sniffled and Rose looked at the ground. “But in the end I wanted to raise you! I wanted be a mother but I guess I let that excitement get to me. I wish I had done better by the gems. They’re the ones that stuck around. Not Pink. I wish I had made a better judgement,”
“Same here,” Greg placed a hand in her shoulder. She grabbed it and squeezed it lightly, nodding.
“I just wish,” they paused and looked at Steven. “I just wish I could’ve met mom. I wanna know what’d she think of me. You guys always tell me stories about how annoying she was but how she was still learning. I feel like if I didn’t get in the way, she would’ve been better,” Steven’s voice cracked as he cracked his knuckles.
“Oh honey,” hearing his tiny voice break was enough to tear her up. Rose cupped his face, letting him wipe his tears. Steven then wrapped his arm around her neck and let out a shaky sigh, trying not to cry.
“I just…wish mom could’ve done better,” he burried his face into Rose’s curls and trembled.
“We wish she made better decisions too,” She rested her hand behind Steven’s head.
“Do you think having me was a bad decision?” Greg and Rose looked at each other. What exactly was there to say? They wanted to give and honest answer but they didn’t have one. Was it?
“That’s up to Pink for to decide,” Rose settled on that. Greg nodded. “It was her choice,”
“But to us? You’re the best thing that’s happened to us,” Greg knelled down next to Steven and hugged him. “You’re the one good thing that came outta this whole mess,” Steven then wrapped his arm around his father.
“Would me being Nora change anything?”
“Not at all,” Rose chuckled “Boy, girl, or something completely different, we love you,” Steven held his parents closer as he sobbed. Greg and Rose let him weep, they knew he needed to get that off his chest. Greg rubbed his back as Rose kissed Steven’s forehead. They just sat in silence and hoped that Steven would feel better after this.