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Han drives fast cars, dies with them, and lives his life fast, smoking tires around every corner. He doesn’t want , he doesn’t need . All he wants and all he needs is any fast car with a clutch and an e-brake.
But when it comes to Brazil, and driving fast and free with Dom and his crew, the nights get lonely. He has his car, but it’s tonight he realizes that maybe it doesn’t come down to his one true love being a V10 engine and Bridgestone tires that burn rubber like a bonfire.
Maybe it all comes down to that hardass boy he left back in Tokyo, with a southern accent as thick as a roll of buttered cornbread, and bright blue eyes that rivalled the shining of tonight’s stars when he raced anywhere or anything at all.
Rebounding with Gisele would be good. It would be better, the right thing. But the tug in his chest at thinking of being with anyone but Sean Boswell made it seem like his lungs were to collapse any second. And since when did Han care about doing the right thing? He gave the kid his car and watched him crash it into everything possible, just narrowly missing innocent bystanders, and that was so, so wrong. Even an idiot could’ve told him it was a bad idea. But it felt so right.
So being without Sean, it felt wrong. Everything about his body seemed off kilter without Sean weighing him down and evening out both sides of his scale.
Feeling a little too unsteady for a night right before a big job, Han plucked a cigarette from a pack hidden in the back pocket of his jeans and lit it.
“You mind if I get a light?”
Han blew out a ring of smoke and turned to Brian, flicking his lighter and offering him a lick of the orange flames to light his own cigarette, hanging out of the corner of his mouth. He clicked the lighter shut once Brian blew a smoke cloud of his own and sat next to him, overlooking their crew moving hither and thither throughout the garage.
They sat in silence for a few moments, and Han thoughtfully watched how Brian always followed Dom’s lean body around, keeping his blue eyes locked on the man like a sniper in action. But there was tenderness, sweetness, and he knew Brian. He knew how much Brian cared. How everything Dom did could make him melt in the tick of a clock or the rev of an engine.
“You miss him, don’t you?” Brian asked, for the first time turning his gaze towards Han. Han’s eves were already there, ready to meet him.
Han sighed and took another long drag of his cigarette, blowing out smoke while still trying to blow off smoke. Goddamn these stupid cops, ‘cause it’d be real nice if he could be out there blowing some tire smoke instead. Not these cigarettes and their smoke clouds that he swore he saw Sean’s face in before they evaporated.
Han swallowed hard, “Yeah. I miss him a lot.”
He shook his head and muttered, “I never should have left.”
Brian is quiet for a beat, turning to catch a glance and a smile from Dom for a split second. He watched him work, and said, “It was tough trying to work after Dom. Got put on paperwork most of the times, and only took undercover jobs to screw around, race cars, and fuck things up. Meanwhile, the only thing fucked up was that I wasn’t beside Dom.”
“You’re right,” Han muses, “It is fucked up . I never get fucked up.”
“Did you ever consider….?”
“I don’t want to. I know the truth, but I still don’t want to know,” Han told Brian. “Sean caught my heart faster than any car. I wish I never left him.”
“Why did you leave him?” Brian asked.
“I don’t know,” Han answered honestly. “I couldn’t stand watching his face as I burned. I’ll never forget it Brian. Ever.”
He sighed, and flicked burgeoning ashes onto the pavement. “I remember what I told him. I said, ‘I don’t care if you’re sick as a dog or in bed with Beyoncé. I call, you show.’ ”
He turned to look at Brian, who looked at him just the same, with an equal amount of stardust in his eyes. Roman was right. Han had stardust twinkling in his brown eyes that missed their pair of blue ones. He was a supernova, falling without caution. He was sick of it because…
“Every fiber of my being is screaming at me to just call him. I call, he shows,” Han mutters, “And I know he’d show.”
Brian sighed beside him. He dropped his burnt out cigarette to the ground and stomped on it with his equally burnt out sneakers. They were so beat up it looked like he could feel the burn of the cigarette through the soles.
“When I let Dom go,” He began, “I missed him like hell, and I hadn’t even known him for that long. I told him I owed him and let him walk. I’ve never regretted it, and I still don’t.”
He stood up and brushed cigarette ash off his jeans. He laid a hand on Han’s shoulder, lightly pressing into his collarbone with his thumb. A comforting gesture.
“You might regret it now,” Brian says, looking from Han’s eyes to Dom’s. Dom looked at him from across the garage just as fondly, if not more. He had a smile on his face that said everything that adoration was without saying anything at all. “But everything works out in the end. It’s worth it, Han. You’ll get your boy back.”
Han nods, and watched Brian go, crossing the garage to knock it with Dom like he always does. All discreet while being so obvious at the same time.
Damn did Han miss knocking it with Sean.
You’ll get your boy back.
And he would. Not today, but one day, soon enough. After this mission is over, he’ll ride for Tokyo. He’s just got to survive until then.