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And In The End, It Was All For You. It Was Always For You.

Chapter 4: The Barn

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It had been a week since the FEDRA station. After clearing out the station, Dina successfully managed to start one of the pickup trucks by using some additional parts that Ellie found in a back room. They then collected the remaining crates filled with food and various other supplies and loaded them into the truck, hoping that this would enable them to return to Jackson quickly.

 

They travelled in the truck for a while, both Dina and Ellie were relieved that they no longer had to walk. Navigating around Las Vegas was relatively easy, but Dina understood that Ellie didn't want to take any risks by passing through the city again. Unfortunately, their journey came to an abrupt halt when the front two tires blew out, forcing them to abandon the truck and continue on foot. They quickly loaded their bags with as many supplies as they could carry and set off down the highway, trying to stick to the grassy edges. Both women aimed to remain as inconspicuous as possible, minimizing the chances of encountering anyone along the way.

 

Dina glanced at Ellie, who was walking a few steps ahead, and quietly sighed as she reflected on their time at the radio station. The two of them had yet to discuss the events that unfolded, the potential dangers they narrowly escaped. Dina understood that Ellie didn't need to know all the details; all she really cared about was Dina's well-being. Nonetheless, Dina couldn't help but notice how protective Ellie had become since they left the station. Ellie made sure Dina stayed close by, never letting her out of sight. Dina knew that Ellie felt guilty for what had happened. She shouldn’t, she did everything she could and she saved me.

 

"Hey, El," Dina called out to her, her voice carrying across the distance. "How about we make camp on that farm over there for the night? It's getting dark, and I'm beat." Sighing, she placed her hands on her hips, gazing into the distance as the sun began its descent ahead of them.

 

“Yeah sure thing babe, let's go over and check it out”

 

They made their way along the deserted path towards the Farm, feeling the heavy humidity fill the air around them. The main house appeared weathered, with shattered windows and one side collapsing upon itself.

 

"Let's try the stables," Dina suggested, glancing over at Ellie who responded with a nod.

 

The stables appeared to be in good condition, fully intact and looked like they could be easily defended. Ellie decided to quickly search the house in case someone was around, as she wanted to avoid a repeat of their previous encounter. After checking the stables and the surrounding area, everything seemed clear and it seemed nobody had been here for some time. But Ellie remained extra cautious due to their past incident. After ensuring everything was clear, they made the decision to take refuge in the stables for the night. Fortunately, there was an abundance of hay available, providing some sort of comfort as they rearranged it to create a makeshift bed. At this moment, being amidst the stables made Dina yearn for the familiarity of the farm, longing to return to those simpler days.

 

"Dina," Ellie said as she sat down next to her on the pile of hay.

 

"Yeah?" Dina replied, smiling.

 

“Maybe it’s time we talk about what happened?” She shifted uncomfortably.

 

Dina looked over at her, feeling uncertain about what she wanted to discuss. There were many things that they hadn't yet talked about.

 

"I think you deserve to know what happened with Abby and why you found me as you did," she began, nervously fidgeting with her remaining fingers."When I arrived in Santa Barbara, I fell into a trap set by the Rattlers. This is how this happened," she said, pointing to the wound on her side that Dina had to restitch while they were in the beach house. "And also, how this happened," she said as she lifted her hand to reveal the bite mark. "We really need to do something about that actually," she added, putting her hand back down and shifting uncomfortably on the hay. “Then I found Abby. She was tied to one of the poles. She was half dead. I cut her down and she had that kid with her, the one who convinced her to let you live. He was half dead too.” Dina noticed that the younger woman was starting to feel anxious as her words began to ramble on.

 

"Hey, it's okay," Dina interrupted, placing a reassuring hand on her leg.

 

Ellie took a deep breath and continued.“So she took this kid to the boats and put him in one, she thought that was it and I was going to let them go. For a second I nearly did, but then I saw Joel. His bloody face, his head caved in, what she did to him.” She tightly closed her eyes and took a deep breath “So I told her she had to fight me. She refused so I said I’d kill the boy if she didn't fight me. I was holding my fucking blade to his throat!” She shook her head, raising her hand to her face. "So she fought back, we were already in bad shape, and during the fight, she uh... bit off my fingers." Ellie raised her hand, the fingerless one, into the air and waved it slightly. “But eventually I got the better of her. I had her Dina. I fucking had her under the water and I was holding her, she was giving up! A few seconds more and she would have been gone! But…. But I couldn't” Tears filled her eyes as she reflected, "I couldn't help but think of Joel and how he wouldn't want me to become the person I have." She wiped the tears from her face and said, "So... I let her go."

 

“El” Dina couldn't conceal the shock that was undoubtedly written all over her face. She felt overwhelmed by everything Ellie had just said. The older woman was completely convinced that Ellie would have killed Abby and put an end to the cycle. What does this mean now? Will she want to go back out there and finish the job? I can’t do this again.

 

“Do you think of me differently?” She looked up, meeting Dina's gaze with sadness in her eyes. “I’m a piece of shit aren't I?”

 

“No, no course not. I’m. I’m just worried that the next time you hear about her you’ll go running off again” 

 

"I won't! I'm done. Honestly, Dina, I've had enough. I no longer want to live this life. I don't want to be consumed by thoughts of revenge. What I want is to go home and build a peaceful life with you and JJ." She softly held Dina's hand in her own. “I regret leaving you so much. I thought I needed to do this. I thought killing her would end the darkness inside of me but killing her was never the answer” She gazed into the older woman's eyes. "Dina, you mean everything to me, and I promise I won't make that mistake again. I’m so sorry for how badly I treated you. I know I will have some issues and some dark days, I still have nightmares and I still see Joel's face but I will try my best to cope with it and I hope you will still support me” 

 

Dina turned to Ellie and expressed her feelings, saying, "Ellie, I feel like I wasn't enough for you in the past. Neither me nor JJ. I begged you to stay."

 

“I know but you don’t realise how bad I got, I’d go into the woods for hours at a time when you thought I was hunting and I’d want to die. I was struggling to keep myself alive” She paused for a moment, struggling to maintain her composure. “I know you did so much for me and in all honesty you and JJ were the only thing keeping me breathing, but no it wasn’t enough because I wanted to keep myself alive. I wanted to be better for both of you. I think now I can do that” 

 

"I’m sorry," Dina said softly, inching closer to Ellie and enveloping her in a comforting embrace. "I didn't realize how hard it was for you." She held Ellie tightly, her head finding solace in the crook of Dina's neck. "El, I’m so thankful for rescuing me. Although we haven't spoken about it, I was so scared. I genuinely believed that... well, you know, he was going to..."

 

"I know, babe," Ellie said as she pulled Dina even closer, planting a kiss on her neck. "I wouldn't have let him harm you."

 

“I thought they were going to kill you in front of me. I didn’t want to give up, I wanted to fight but I was scared what they would do to you, I never want anyone to hurt you again and I thought if I did that they would leave you alone” A sudden image of the man pinning Dina down flashed in her mind, sending a shiver down her spine.

 

Instantly, Ellie noticed her discomfort and tightened her grip around Dina's waist, pulling herself into a close embrace.

 

“When I came into that room and I saw him on top of you, it brought back bad memories” Ellie whispered “Remember those cannibals I told you about? Well there leader David, he took a liking to me, I was only 14, I was on my own and scared” She spoke with a slight tremor in her voice. “I tried to escape” 

 

Dina's heart ached as she listened to the words escaping Ellie's mouth. This part of the story was entirely new to her, and she couldn't shake off the unease it brought. The older woman felt an overwhelming sense of sickness in her stomach.

 

“He found me and he pinned me down. I can still feel the weight on top of me now, pushed against me as I struggled to move underneath him. Somehow and I don’t even know how I managed to reach for his machete and I stabbed him with it. I couldn’t stop” Ellie paused, closing her eyes briefly as she processed the thoughts running through her mind.“I kept driving the blade into his skull, long after he was dead, just like I did back there with the man who was on top of you. I only stopped when Joel found me, he had to prise the blade from my hands” Her body shook as the last words left her mouth, her grip growing tighter around Dina's waist. The embrace now symbolized not only her support for Dina but also their mutual need for comfort. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through that," she whispered, "I would do whatever it takes to keep you safe."

 

Both women sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Dina spoke again. "Did you actually bite that guy?" she asked, her tone playful.

 

“Urmm.. yeah I took a chunk clean out of his neck. Serves the fucker right for getting too close to me” 

 

“That's some fucking Rick Grimes shit” She laughed.

 

They spent the remainder of the evening laughing and joking, reminiscing about the time they had both spent at Jackson before finally admitting their love for one another. One particular memory that kept surfacing was the night by the campfire when Ellie played her guitar. In that moment, it seemed as though Dina was the sole audience, and the overwhelming love Dina felt for Ellie that night is etched in her mind. She believes it was one of the defining moments when she truly fell for Ellie.

 

The past few months have been incredibly challenging for both women, not just physically but emotionally as well. Finding solace in each other's company was like a burden being lifted off their shoulders. Dina felt relieved to finally have some clarity about the events in Santa Barbara, instead of endlessly pondering countless scenarios in her mind. Perhaps now they can fully leave this episode behind them and move forward as a united family. Ellie has been talking a lot about returning to Jackson and reuniting with JJ, as she misses him, I really miss him too. 

 


 

As the sun emerged from behind the distant hills, they departed from the barn. Determined to cover more ground, both had set their sights on a full day of walking, hoping to reach Jackson earlier.

 

“We aren’t too far from Salt Lake City” Ellie called out from behind the map she was inspecting “It was pretty easy to get through there before so I’m hoping for another clear path. If we keep this up we could be back at the end of next week” 

 

“I hope so, I really miss JJ” Dina huffed feeling the weight of guilt in the pit of her stomach knowing she had missed so much time away from her son. But this was something she needed to do. To bring their family back together. 

 

“Me too. I’m sorry that you came after me and had to leave him” 

 

“It’s okay. It’s shit that we will have missed out on so much in the time we have been gone but at least you won't miss out on his entire life” 

 

“I suppose you are right” 

 

They continued to walk down the long stretch of highway, there were cars littered everywhere, mostly smashed and broken. Nothing they could use of course. Most of them had been sitting around here since infection day which meant they were rusted to hell. Some were burnt out and some had been raided for parts. It felt like that everywhere they looked.

 

A couple of hours of walking passed by, Dina's feet becoming more and more tired as the day went on. They were still going along the highway and only making small detours when they couldn't safely pass cars. There was a large pile up on one of the intersections that set them back a while as they had to climb down and go underneath the main road and rejoin it later on. 

 

They were finally making good progress when they came to a small stretch of road where the highway split into two. There wasn't much around, it seemed like a regular occurrence. After all this time everything seemed to be fading away in places like this. 

 

Dina turned to Ellie, already full of defeat but thought it was worth a try anyway “Looks like a small gas station over there, shall we check it out?

 

“Yeah sure” Ellie shrugged, Dina knew she felt the same way.

 

Both women headed over to the small building standing alone between the large roads. There was a chain-linked fence bordering the building and forecourt, along with a few gas pumps and a couple of cars parked among the overgrown weeds and grass.

 

“Hey, do you think it’s worth it?” Ellie looked over at Dina with a worried look on her face 

 

“Maybe, maybe not, but it’s worth a shot and we need some supplies” Ellie had been worried about taking unnecessary stops ever since the FEDRA station. Dina understood her worry but they hadn't stopped in a while to restock and who knows this place could have something they could use.

 

“Okay, but I’ll go first” Ellie said as she moved ahead of Dina making her way across the parking lot of the station, her gun out ready just in case. 

 

Dina followed close behind her, letting her lead the way. They moved through a couple of cars and cleared the parking lot. There wasn’t anything or anyone around that they could see. they proceeded towards the building when Ellie stopped in her tracks and spoke in a calm tone “Spores, mask on Dina” 

 

“You too” Dina replied.

 

“But I don’t need to”  Ellie tried to argue back

 

“I don’t care, what if someone around El, we can’t risk it” 

 

“Fine” She huffed taking the mask out of her backpack and pulled it over her face.

 

Dina wasn’t sure she would ever get used to the fact that Ellie’s immune. A conversation for another time perhaps. Ever since she found out Ellie couldn't get infected they hadn’t spoken too much about it. Every time Dina tried to bring it up Ellie thinks of some excuse or goes off topic. She didn’t really know why she wanted to hide it because Dina didn’t care, she took pleasure in the small fact she would never have to shoot her from a fucking bite.  

 

Ellie led the way through the main entrance, the windows were half boarded up letting minimal light into the small gas station building. Most of the shelves were empty, some smashed and thrown over as if someone was in a hurry to get out. It was quite eerie here. Spores filled the room and fungus was caked onto the walls, it made Dina feel a little claustrophobic. 

 

“There is another room back here, let’s check it out” Ellie moved toward the door at the back of the gas station “It's stuck, let me try get it open” She holsted her gun and placed her hands firmly on the door giving it a big push, falling face first into the room. Within a second a loud screech shot through Dina's ears and an infected came from nowhere diving onto Ellie thrashing its hands at her. 

 

“Ellie!” She shouted as she ran forward taking out her pistol and sending a bullet into its head causing it to slump lifelessly on top of her “Shit are you okay?” Dina asked breathlessly. 

 

“Yeah…can you help me get this thing of me please?” she grumbled.

 

“I dunno you two look to be quite cosy down there” Dina laughed while placing my gun back in her thigh holdster. 

 

“Dina, come on this thing is heavy as fuck” 

 

“Okay, okay” She held her hands up and moved over to push the lifeless body off her. 

 

“Thanks” She got up and brushed herself down.

 

Inside the room was a small office space. Nothing much in here really but a desk, some drawers and an old TV. The windows were covered in old newspapers making it harder to see. Dina searched through one of the rusty draws using the light from her torch to navigate through, not really sure what she was looking for. “Hey El look” She pulled out a set of keys and waved them in front of her. “I wonder what these are for?” She tossed them over to her so she could take a look

 

“Hey Sherlock, you missed this” She held the keys up by a small paper tab that read ‘Garage unit one’ 

 

“Hmm guess I did miss that” Dina reached for the keys to take another look “Wonder where the unit is?”

 

“There's a big storage unit out there” Ellie pointed out of the back window behind the gas station “Maybe it opens that?”

 

“Well let's go check it out!” 

 

They made our way back through the building and around the back towards the storage unit. It looked intact surprisingly so maybe there was something useful in there after all. Dina walked over to the side door taking the keys in her hand. “Well here goes nothing” Presto , the key worked and the door clicked as it unlocked. 

 

“Wait!” Ellie called reaching her hand out and placing it over Dinas, a look of worry in her eye.

 

“What?” she asked a little confused as to what Ellie was doing

 

“Let me..” she started to speak before Dina cut her off

 

“El come on it’s probably been locked for years it will be fine, I will be fine” She lifted her hand letting the older woman go allowing her to place her hand on the large metal door handle and give it a pull, the door slowly opened to reveal what was inside. 

 

“Woahh cool!” Ellie's mouth was wide open in shock. 

 

Inside the container looked untouched, probably since everything had happened too. The walls were bright red, with black patches of rubber running along them. There were tools and biker gear scattered across the floor and hung on large display units along with a couple of workbenches that had bits and pieces laid out over them.

 

“I wonder what's under here!” Ellie's face looked excited as she walked round to the back of the unit and stood next to an old tarp that looked suspiciously like a bike was under it. She holstered her gun and placed both hands on the tarp. “Ready?” She whipped it off in one movement and revealed the dirt bike underneath. “Woooah soooo cool!” 

 

Dina walked over to give it a closer look, it looked brand new. It was jet black with bright green decals all over it. “This is cool” 

 

“Hey, and there's some helmets over here too!” Ellie spoke excitedly. It made Dina smile at how much joy the younger girl was getting from this. It had been a while since she saw her so happy.

 

“Looks like we have a ride home then huh?” Dina laughed. 

 

“Let's just hope it starts! Wait. Do you know how to ride a bike? Because I sure don’t” Ellie scrunched her face up in disappointment.

 

"I haven't ridden one before, but I've seen one, so I sort of understand how it works," she said as she climbed aboard and positioned her foot on the starter lever. Holding her breath, she murmured, "Please work," before giving it a kick. With a loud bang, the engine roared to life.

 

"Yahoo! We have lift off," Ellie cheered.

 

"Dina laughed, exclaiming, 'This is the best news we've had all week!'"

 

Dina pushed down the stop button and stepped back. "Alright, let's take a look around and see if there's anything we can grab before we head back to Jackson!"

 

“You're the boss!”

Notes:

Thanks for reading!

Notes:

Thanks for reading chapter one!