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The start of Rey’s story was simple; On a desert planet, all alone and delusional about her family.
That was over now, though. Or at least that’s what they all thought….
She was the only one who didn’t stay up all night and party. When an extremely sloppy Poe and tipsy Finn urged her to stay, she insisted she was just exhausted.
Finn and Poe.
Finn was ripped from his family, sorta like her, but now after this “beautiful, life changing journey” he finally found his people.
Poe was a devoted pilot serving the Resistance, completely thrown into his craft, and after this “beautiful, life changing story” he could finally live a peaceful life with those he grew to care for.
Rey, though? Rey was lonely scavenger under the authority of a nasty boss fending for food everyday which she was never promised, with no family.
However, she finally got to escape that lonely void.
Only to have it all ripped away from her.
Maz told her whoever she was waiting for on Jakku wasn’t coming back, but there’s someone else who still could. She kinda forgot to fucking mention that the “someone else” might end up leaving too.
Han was gone. Luke was gone. Leia was gone. He was gone.
When it came to Finn and Poe, things ad changed for the better.
When it came to Rey, things went back to the way they were….
Only it felt a billion times worse.
She hardly remembered her parents. She had more memories of being on her own than with them, if there were any at all.
Yet she had just found the Skywalkers/Solos, and they made her feel things she had never felt before, and now they were freshly gone. On Jakku, the sites and spaces didn’t particularly hurt her because she didn’t have fond memories to associate them with.
Here though? The Resistance base reminded her of Leia’s speeches and plans.
The Falcon reminded her of Han, his snark and ambition.
Jedi temples reminded her of Luke and his grumpy yet wise presence.
He always came to mind. Everywhere. At random moments. Because their force bond, their Dyad, brought them to that.
She needed to leave. She needed to get out of here. She needed to escape the cruel reality.
People kept saying they were happy for her. They were so happy about where she was now.
And while Rey knew they didn’t get it, every damn time she heard the phrase it felt like a dagger in her heart.
You’re happy??? About what?!? That I accepted my parents were gone and I finally moved on, finding my new family, only to lose them as well? Only now I’m no longer used to that feeling because I got comfortable with the idea of having them with me always???
You’re happy I’ve reverted back to having no family, that I’ve had to lose loved ones again???
It’s the sickest fucking form of “support”Rey had ever heard, and she knew they didn’t mean like that yet she if she heard it one more time she’d scream, punch a wall till her hands leaked red and bones turned to shards, and pass out from the agony to briefly escape.….
Tatoonie was a lot like Jakku; sand everywhere, humid air, pale rocks, small population. Rey gained a horrid sense of familiarity.
She balled into a corner of the late Lars household.
He was so.Fucking. Selfish.
He gave Rey his life force. She never asked him to do that. She wouldn’t have.
What the actual fucking hell did he think was gonna happen?
She was gonna find someone else? She was gonna go about the following day like nothing happened and be fine?
More than fine? Happy, even? He actually though she’d be happy?!?
He did this because he didn’t wanna live in a world without her.
But she didn’t wanna live in a world without him.
Did he not understand? Did he not get she loved him too? Just as much as he loved her?
He thought he saved her, that he did this amazing thing, that the best thing anyone ever could’ve done for her, when in reality he hurt her in the worst way he could’ve.
Then she remembers he didn’t do this to hurt her. He truly thought he was doing the right thing out of love.
Yet she didn’t feel so loved, sitting alone in the sand.
He brought her back to live a life without him. He healed her, kissed her, held her, rocked her back and fourth, only to disappear into thin air two seconds later.
After she listened to him. After she confided in him. After she attacked her master for him. After she went to him. After she fought by his side. After she healed him. After she kissed him and look deep into those dark eyes like he was the only thing in the galaxy.
What the hell made him think she wanted this?!? If he couldn’t exist without her, he should’ve just offed himself then and there.
At least then they would’ve been together.
Yet now she had to live with the fact;
The universe brought her into a candy store. Let her lick a lollipop, but not enough to finish and enjoy, but just enough to taste how it felt, how satisfying and lovely it was, only to snatch it out of her hand and kick her to the curb.
She finally let go. She finally opened herself. Only to be taken right back.
Why couldn’t he see she didn’t need to be a legend. She didn’t need the spotlight. She didn’t need any of these things he sacrificed for. Friends were obviously appreciated, she did love Finn, Poe, BB-8, and the others, but it wasn’t the same. All she wanted was him, Ben Solo-
“Rey who?”
When she was asked that question once more, she didn’t know what to say.
She could never accept herself as a Palpatine. The galaxy wouldn’t either.
She also couldn’t call herself a nobody again. That would just enforce the truth, that she once again lost everything.
Solo was truly fitting, for many, many, reasons, yet she didn’t wish to further any reminders of what she lacks.
She sees them. Luke, Leia. Two of the most important people to her and the universe. They nod. They smile. She knows it’s something many would disagree with, yet she doesn’t wanna let them down. It will help her Jedi career, after all. That’s all she has left to throw herself into to fill that recovered, lonesome void.
She swallows and fakes a smile. Similar to the fake simile back at the Resistance.
”Rey Skywalker.”
The elderly woman nods as Rey walks into the sunset with her round, orange little friend.
When she knows she’s alone once more, she gets on her knees as she hugs BB-8 and wails onto him.
The start of Rey’s story was simple; On a desert planet, all alone and delusional about her family.
And that’s exactly how it’s ended.