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“Order for Octagon!” 

Akutagawa sighs, as one of the baristas called out for his order and messed up his name for the third time that week. He was almost impressed by how many iterations they could come up with for a replacement name; if not for the fact that he had been a regular longer than some of them had been there working.  

Even as he hears the other coworkers snicker under their breaths, Akutagawa doesn’t retaliate, as much as he wanted to. He just smiles halfheartedly at the barista working the cash register and drops a couple of coins into the tip jar.  

He squints at the guy’s name card, making note of the name ‘Nakajima Atsushi’ and nods to him. Akutagawa gently rotates the plate holding his latte as he brings it up to his nose to smell the hint of vanilla steaming from the cup. He breathes out a sigh of relief, content.  

Once he's satisfied with his grip on the plate, Akutagawa redirects his attention to the barista.  

“Will you ever get my name right?”  

“When you stop using a fake name, duh.” Atsushi retorts, not missing a beat as he takes another customer’s order. “What kind of name is that anyways?” 

“It's not a fake name. Just ask anyone here, they can back me up.” Akutagawa huffs in mild annoyance. 

“Even Dazai?” 

“Even Dazai.” 

“I don't trust Dazai as far as I can throw him,” Atsushi muttered as he began frothing milk and well, Akutagawa couldn’t dispute that. He took that as his cue to sit back down and brought his matcha latte back quietly to his table.  

From there, Akutagawa opened his laptop and waited for it to connect to the Wi-Fi. He checked in with his coworkers group chat as he burnt his tongue on his too hot drink. It was made just as he liked it otherwise. Akutagawa wondered how it was possible to mess up his name for his order and yet get the damn latte right down to how many sugar cubes he liked in the drink.  

That was a train of thought for later, for now, he had to report his nonexistent findings to his boss and take the day easy.  

As he sipped on the latte, Akutagawa watched the normally quiet café come to life. It always amazed him how popular either café was when he wasn’t working a double shift. He watched as customers flooded into the building safely from his corner table, his regular spot when he came into the café.  

It was quickly approaching noon and yet, Akutagawa was impressed at how put together today’s crew was. He recognized a few key workers from his various visits to the café. Kunikida, Yosano, and Tanizaki.  

Kunikida was a tall blond who wore part of his hair up in a rat tail style. Yosano was a woman that Akutagawa would love to never get on her bad side; he had seen her tear into entitled assholes like it was another workday. And Tanizaki was close in age to him, but he hadn't gotten a chance to properly interact with him yet. 

Not for the lack of trying. 

Akutagawa knew how to keep his distance, but he had met the whole team after he’d been invited to last year’s Christmas party. But he supposed they had to be on their best behavior when Akutagawa felt the stare of the manager on him.  

The aforementioned Dazai Osamu. The very man he oversaw when it came to spying for his boss. In less official terms, he had worked at the PM café for several years. Or the Pup Mafia as it was better known as. Akutagawa was the unfortunate soul in charge of making sure Dazai wasn’t selling their trade secrets to his new place of work.  

Which might have been called for back when he had first left. 

But four years later, Akutagawa could only cite his spying as a break from his own barista job. And a chance to get his homework done when he was behind the coursework.  

He could understand why Dazai left. 

It’s stifling, to say the least. And often enough, Akutagawa found himself drawn to the Toe Bean Café. It helped that the atmosphere of the café was so much different from the one across the street.  

A few years after he had left, when Akutagawa had been first assigned to keep an eye on Dazai, he had been angry. Dazai was his mentor, the very man who had trained him to be the best of the best. Granted it was during a tough time in his life and he could've called corporate for workplace harassment and bullying. But now staring back at Dazai, he was indifferent about the man.  

Dazai smirked at him and made an inappropriate gesture which made Akutagawa frown. Well, mostly indifferent about the man.  

It was unfortunate that he was stuck with the part time job of spying for his boss. As much as Akutagawa shit talked the Pup Mafia café, it was his place of work. And the mere thought of spending most of his time at the rival café should send him into a fit of rage. But he found The Toe Bean café soothing in ways he couldn’t explain. Despite its silly name at times. It helped Akutagawa detox on his days off, and it helped whenever he wanted to get away from his overbearing coworkers.  

Plus, he still got paid a ridiculous amount thanks to his boss not reading fine print when he drafted a contract.  

“Atsushi, don't forget to clock out early because of your date tonight!” 

“Kunikida!”  

Akutagawa's attention was piqued by the callout. His eyes scanned the bar behind the counter, until they landed on the barista from earlier. He sipped his drink, feigning ignorance as Kunikida began to lay rules on Atsushi on safety; if he needed anything or an out, that his coworkers were just a call away.  

Akutagawa pretended to not hear a damn word, even though Kunikida was speaking loud enough for the whole café to listen in without trying. He still caught Nakajima’s eye from across the bar. The poor man looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him up whole as Kunikida went into depth about safe sex, and Akutagawa couldn’t hold in a laugh.  

It was something quick, but it was still a laugh. He was thankful that he hadn't been on a date in years, he didn’t have to endure the teasing from his coworkers and Dazai alike. He would never hear the end of it if he developed a crush on anyone. And between the two cafes, they were equally bad at gossiping at work.  

Case in point, whenever Atsushi was linked to a date or a new partner, Akutagawa heard all about it. Whether he wanted to learn about it or not.  

It was all part of being one of the café's regulars. Despite being technically one of its own rivals. No one complained, Akutagawa didn’t cause a fuss whenever he stepped through the door. And aside from Dazai, no one had a clue about how hissy he could be.  

He knew what it was like to stand on the other side of the counter and deal with entitled Karen's all day. He knew better to take his anger out on the baristas. Often Akutagawa would drop whatever change he had on his person whenever he picked up an order, it was customary at this point and he knew if he wanted to, he could become friends with any of the baristas.  

Akutagawa was just too good at being a loner to approach anyone seriously. Unless he was calling Dazai out for messing with his order.  

Akutagawa kept to himself most of the time. It was just how it was.  

He lingered at the café until Nakajima got off his shift. It was completely by chance, purely luck. And definitely not because he was avoiding his work group chat and impending questions from his colleagues about his day off. It wasn’t well known at his café that he spent half of his days off holed up in the rival shops to play spy kid.  

Plus, he didn’t want to have to admit he spent an embarrassingly long time just staring at Nakajima working. Akutagawa didn’t want to have to beat Chuuya back with a stick again, the false accusations about having a crush were funny the first time, not even their long-standing friendship could withstand his temper the more Chuuya pestered him about something that wasn’t there.  

It was funny the first couple of times but now it was just annoying. 

For all his dedicated people-watching was worth, Akutagawa had neglected yet another lab he had to complete for class. So, he quietly packed up the rest of his things and left, keen to return tomorrow to hear the results of the date.  

“Did you hear about this date? Atsushi was stood up for the second time.” 

Akutagawa heard the whispers; it was a little hard not to when the working baristas were speaking so loudly as they gossiped. It certainly didn’t help that he had walked up to the counter to order something with more espresso than he could handle, but he digressed.  

Although he had a thesis he had to turn in the rough draft for by the end of the day, and Akutagawa had stupidly procrastinated it, he couldn’t help but overhear the workers as the conversation teetered on. He knew better to wait around just to hear how badly the date went for Atsushi, but he knew he would have to strain to hear the rest of the story the moment he sat back down. 

It wouldn't matter anyways however, when Dazai stepped up to take his order. The man smiled at Akutagawa in such a way that made him give up on trying to eavesdrop even as he sat back down to wait for his order. It was irritating but Akutagawa figured it was nice to have someone like that to have Nakajima’s back.  

Even if he was just being a nosy bitch. Fine by him, he needed all his focus for his paper. Akutagawa grumbled to himself.  

Still, he couldn’t help but notice how down Nakajima seemed as he worked. The skip in his step from the other day was nowhere to be found. And although they barely knew each other and Nakajima messed up his name more times than he could count, Akutagawa couldn’t help but worry for him.  

He kept his mouth shut as Dazai gave him a total for his order, and he fished out a few dollars to toss into the tip jar. Akutagawa hesitated and wondered if he could dictate where the dollars were going to, but Nakajima walked away to the back room, and he lost his chance.  

Akutagawa took his seat reluctantly, but he had work to do. He couldn’t babysit a barista he barely knew because he felt pity for his failed date. Still, nothing could have prepared Akutagawa for the object of his attraction to sit himself across from him.  

“What are you-” 

“I'm assuming you heard the gossip since no one in this shop can keep their mouths shut!” Nakajima called out into the shop, stopping the bustling of the morning rush, and Akutagawa had to bite his tongue since he looked like an angry baby tiger at best.  

Jinko. A fitting nickname. He would file that away for later use.  

“I mean, I only just arrived to work on my thesis. What do you mean?” Akutagawa must not have wiped his smirk off his face because Nakajima stared at him with a deadpan. He huffed and dropped his head onto the table. It jostled the table and Akutagawa’s coffee almost went flying but he schooled his expression before he spoke next.  

“How was the date?” 

“Horrible! First, he mentioned that he was going to be 15 minutes late! Which is fine, I can wait for someone if they communicate but he ended up being over three hours late! I wasn’t going to wait for him that long, so I ordered my food and went home. The audacity of some people.”  

“Yes, that’s unfortunate. Uh, why are you at my table in particular?”  

Nakajima looked up from his pitiful position on the table, blinking up at Akutagawa. He didn’t know what to do with the attention, but Akutagawa held his gaze, uneasy as the conversation felt.  

“I thought you liked the café's gossip. You're in here every day.” 

“Well, that’s because,” And Akutagawa had to shut his mouth. It wasn’t well known why he was here, and he would like to keep the real reason a secret. Not only would there be hell to pay from his boss, but he would never be able to live it down.  

“Because?” 

“Because I-” 

“Because he has a crush on one of the baristas!” Dazai came out of nowhere to rest his body on Atsushi’s back. It startles the two of them, and Nakajima swats Dazai to leave him alone while Akutagawa stares at Dazai with acute horror. And when he goes to dispute the claim Dazai only laughs.  

“Don't mind Akutagawa, he's very shy sometimes.” 

“Dazai-san please.” Akutagawa felt his face burn with embarrassment. He was aware how obvious it was when he blushed from how pale he was, but he wasn’t expecting his former mentor to drop that bomb.  

It was the farthest from the truth, he reasoned. Not true at all.  

Never mind the fact that Akutagawa often had to deny the rumors that the reason he was at The Toe Bean café so often was in fact that he harbored a crush. He wondered how tight lipped Chuuya was around Dazai, but he should've known better than to get comfortable.  

“I'm not shy, Dazai.” Akutagawa hissed through his clenched teeth.  

“I never would have pegged you as shy.” Nakajima, having successfully shoved Dazai off and away from their table, leans his elbows on the table and looks at Akutagawa.  

“I’m not.” Akutagawa mutters, hoping that the blush in his cheeks had calmed down.  

Great, now he will have to deal with this later when he gets back to work. He could already hear the teasing of his coworkers and Akutagawa was not looking forward to it. 

“Hmm, you're quiet and yet you’ve been coming here for long enough that I hear my coworkers mention you whenever you're not here. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a crush on one of them. Just stay away from-” And Atsushi began to list off his coworkers that were taken or plain not interested in men. Akutagawa wanted to crawl into a hole.  

“Please, I’m not going to make a move on any one of your coworkers.”  

“Oh,” Atsushi looked disappointed.  

“Dazai was just joking. We used to work together so he knows how to get under my skin.” Akutagawa whispers, feeling the gaze of others on the two of them. He was glad about how private the corner tables were but still, he was out in public. He stared down at his unfinished thesis document and wondered if it was better to go work at the library instead of dealing with this level of embarrassment. 

“You two used to work together?” 

Ah shit.   

Akutagawa winced. He dropped his head into his hands and wondered how he would get out of this conversation. He wasn’t normally open with anyone. Not even his closest coworkers had information privy to this. Nakajima looked up at him like a deer in headlights. 

“Yeah, we used to work together a while ago. It's not important nor is it worth gossiping about.” Akutagawa sighed to compose himself. He debated packing up and leaving for the day, he wasn’t supposed to clock in a report until later, but he would rather eat nails than continue this conversation.  

Thankfully, the gods were looking down at Akutagawa, for Nakajima got called away back to work at that moment. The barista looked like he wanted to say something more, but he nodded and went on his way.  

Akutagawa watched him go, wondering why his heart kept up its fast pace and he shook his head, intending to finish his paper in time for work later.  

“Order for Akutagawa!”  

Akutagawa thanked the newest hire, a young girl, for his coffee. He had seen her follow Nakajima like a lost puppy the last few weeks and wondered if they were related. Or at the very least knew each other outside of work. It was nice to hear his name pronounced correctly occasionally, and he gladly dropped a tip for her and went back to his table.  

Akutagawa sipped coffee, a recommendation from Nakajima a few days ago. It had substituted regular milk for oat milk and while he wasn’t a fan of it, it certainly would help his stomach later once he had classes. He worked quietly on lab reports and other projects he had fallen behind on, so he took up stock in the corner table that had long since become his on his visits.  

Akutagawa didn’t expect Nakajima to already be at his table, working on what seemed like classwork and smiled at him. He moved some of his own supplies and made room for Akutagawa to sit, thankfully Nakajima remembered that he liked to sit in the corner so he could see the whole layout at once.  

He had to admit, he didn’t like having to share the tiny table, but Nakajima’s presence was oddly comforting. He would rather die than admit that.  

“I have another date later, so I won't be able to stay here long.” Nakajima mentioned once he had sat down. Akutagawa hummed in acknowledgment but otherwise said nothing else. 

He wasn’t sure when their friendship had progressed enough to be privy to Nakajima’s date escapades but since Akutagawa had no reason to gossip about it, most of his dates remained unknown unless he was stood up again. Then the entire café and its staff had something to say about it.  

“Why are you doing this to yourself,” Akutagawa bit his tongue on saying Nakajima’s given name. It still felt weird on his tongue. He wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t bring himself to say ‘Atsushi’ aloud like Nakajima preferred. He got by well enough by gesturing to Nakajima whenever he had to address him 

But it was getting harder now that they were getting to know each other better by the day. Nakajima had yet to correct him, but Akutagawa didn’t want to take that chance regardless.  

“What do you mean? Procrastinating? Akutagawa, you do the exact same thing I don’t want to hear it.”  

“No,” Akutagawa huffed. “I mean. Do you not know any better when people are horrible to go on dates with? This is what- the third second chance you’ve given this guy? Don’t you hold yourself in a higher regard?” 

Nakajima looked like he had seen a ghost and Akutagawa felt bad; he could've worded his words a bit better. Not as biting or accusatory.  

“I do but,” Nakajima paused, and Akutagawa waited for him to collect his thoughts. He knew they weren't that close but, it was worrying the little bits and pieces he had seen from his coworkers.  

“It's a normal relationship, I ghosted this guy when we were first talking so it's only fair that he’s sometimes late to our dates. Don’t worry about it.”  

“Do you even hear yourself right now?” 

“Yes? I’ll be fine Akutagawa. And I told you to call me Atsushi. Say it with me,” Akutagawa repeated Nakajima’s given name, still feeling weird. It didn’t bother Nakajima though, he patiently waited as Akutagawa repeated the pronunciation a few times before he was confident enough to say it offhandedly.  

“There! You got it!” Atsushi smiled at him, and Akutagawa shrunk in on himself briefly. 

“You can call me Atsushi just like everyone else. I promise it's not a big deal.”  

“Alright.” Akutagawa smiled at him briefly. He turned back to his work but paused when he noticed Nakajima was watching him. Expectedly.  

“Alright?” Nakajima nodded at him, causing Akutagawa to hesitantly repeat himself.  

“Alright Atsushi,” 

“There it is,” Atsushi smiled at him right back, and Akutagawa felt his chest flutter.  

Akutagawa told himself he wasn’t going to interfere with Nakajima’s, no Atsushi’s bad dating life. It was still a struggle to correct his name in his head, but he was trying.  

But that was ridiculously hard to do when Dazai would steal Atsushi’s phone during the shift and drop it in Akutagawa’s lap with a wink. He hated how easy it was to read him, even if the offender was only Dazai.  

He cursed the day that Dazai found him smiling at Nakajima absentmindedly. It would be till hell froze over that Dazai would stop holding that over his head, and Akutagawa wasn’t looking forward to Dazai having the high ground.  

Still, the amount of times Akutagawa found himself with Nakajima’s phone was more than he was comfortable with. In fact, he lost count. He wasn’t sure how productive Dazai was to pull this off, but he was sure it wasn’t that productive.  

Most of the time, Akutagawa silenced the phone as if it wasn’t already. He pointedly ignored notifications that Nakajima would receive. It wasn’t his business to snoop. Even if it was getting harder and harder to ignore some of the messages that Nakajima would receive.  

They were both college students, but the amount of sexting Akutagawa had previewed was more than enough for his lifetime. And every time he would swipe off the notification to hide it, that would be when he’d be caught red handed with Nakajima’s phone. Whether it was by one of his colleagues or Nakajima, Akutagawa couldn’t handle the embarrassment much longer.  

At any rate, Akutagawa had a better insight into Nakajima’s relationships than he did himself. 

Today was no different. Akutagawa had come in early to work on a timed paper for one of his classes before his double shift. He was none the wiser when Dazai got up to his usual shenanigans and got ahold of Nakajima’s phone. His only sign that there was anything amiss was a crash sound that made him pause and take off his headphones.  

As he inspected the wall behind him, his eyes landed on the busted-up phone. Akutagawa recognized the little tiger charm on Nakajima’s phone. His eyes glanced around before he picked it up, and winced. There was no saving the device, how had it survived multiple falls and other bangs before this was beyond him, but he hoped that Nakajima wouldn’t be too angry. 

“Dazai-san!” Nakajima shouted, and Akutagawa knew he spoke too soon. He watched as Nakajima jumped the counter before coming over to his table to inspect the damage.  

As most things involving Dazai were, the moment the manager’s name was called, he popped up with an innocent smile. Nakajima stood there in front of him, mouth agape at the broken phone in Akutagawa’s hands and then glanced back to Dazai. 

“Come on man, I didn’t have that backed up or anything.” Nakajima walked over to him, holding out his hands and Akutagawa didn’t have the heart to tell him just how broken the phone was. Akutagawa felt a little bad, but it's not like he could've known that Dazai was going to be stupid and toss a phone to him.  

A sniffle brought Akutagawa out of his train of thought, and his heart lurched when he noticed Nakajima crying, just softly. The barista wiped his tears, gripping the phone in his other hand. He huffed out a breath, noticing Akutagawa was watching him.  

It was rare to see Nakajima lose his cool. Akutagawa couldn’t really recall a time he had seen the barista lose his temper on anyone. The closest instance he could remember was some argument he overheard with Kunikida. But still, Nakajima was hard to anger.  

Akutagawa wasn’t sure if he was impressed or concerned. Nakajima’s hands trembled at his sides.  

“Akutagawa-Kun, you should've been paying attention!” And Akutagawa whipped his head around to glare at Dazai, pointing an accusing finger at the manager. 

“Leave me out of this, I’m still working on homework.” 

“Tsk tsk, excuses excuses.” Akutagawa scowled, half tempted to discard his essay and jump over the counter himself just to rattle Dazai’s brain a little. A hard reset would do that man some good.  

“Don’t bother, I’ll just wait until my next paycheck to get a new phone.” Nakajima stopped him before he could stand up, as if reading his mind. Akutagawa nodded, even though he was a little concerned for Nakajima.  

“Are you sure, I don’t mind helping replace it.” And Nakajima shook his head. It was a kind gesture, but Akutagawa knew if the barista rejected it then he wouldn’t push it anymore. He watched Nakajima make his way back to the counter and endure a talk from Kunikida for his recklessness. 

And despite the situation, Nakajima took the scolding like champ. Sure, Akutagawa pretended to not see him punch Dazai in the arm as he went back to work and ignored the whining that ensued from the manager.  

“Yeah, so this guy I met at the cell phone store. He and I have been going strong for a few weeks now, it’s a blessing that Dazai broke my phone when I did. Or else I would have never met him.” Atsushi excitedly explained to some poor customers about his date. Akutagawa unclenched his jaw, as he punched in a report to his boss that no, Dazai wasn’t causing trouble yet again. 

Akutagawa sighed to himself, he needed to calm down before someone took notice of his bad mood. He had already scared off some little kid that had gotten too close to his table. He didn’t need one of the baristas asking him to leave any time soon.  

He sighed and took a sip of his lukewarm latte. He wondered if he could ask one of the baristas to warm it up again just so he didn’t have to order another one. He was still contemplating on what to do when Atsushi plopped down in front of him.  

His friend was smiling, clearly excited for whatever date he and his new partner were planning tonight. Akutagawa never would've thought that the tech who repaired Atsushi’s phone and him could hit it off.  

But Akutagawa had to hand it to Atsushi, he was personable and nice to chat with. It wasn’t hard to figure out why everyone liked him everywhere he went.  

“How's your thesis going?” 

Akutagawa hummed, and decided to not show off how empty his document was looking. He was distracted by Atsushi again, and yet, he had nothing to show for it. 

“It's going.” 

“Did your coffee go cold again?” Akutagawa nodded and mentally thanked Atsushi when he took his cup to the back to be microwaved. When Atsushi returned, he went into another retelling about his partner. Akutagawa could only hum halfheartedly and ask questions, when necessary. But his heart wasn’t in it.  

“I had class tonight but we’re not really doing much so that’s why I scheduled the date for tonight.” 

“Does your professor know you're skipping classes for this new guy?” Atsushi bristled for a moment, and Akutagawa raised his hands to deescalate the conversation.  

“I know it's not any of my business but aren't you on a scholarship? Shouldn’t you be taking your grades seriously?” Atsushi scoffed at him, to which he frowned. He closed his laptop and stared at Atsushi to explain. 

“It's fine, it's just one class. It's not like I'm going to flunk the whole semester because I missed one lesson. I didn’t take you to be one to gossip Ryuunosuke.” 

Akutagawa sighed and reopened his laptop. He wasn’t going to argue with Atsushi. Not while he was on defense like this. He typed up a quick report for the day and sent it off to his boss and saved the document for his thesis paper for the nth time.  

He did all of this to give Atsushi a moment to clear his thoughts, because while Akutagawa might know all the gossip thanks to Atsushi’s coworkers, he really wasn’t interested in it unless it came from Atsushi himself.  

“You do you Atsushi. I’m not going to stop you if you want to skip class. I have nothing left to say to you if you're going to be difficult and ignore sound advice.” 

“Thanks, I guess.” Atsushi murmured as Akutagawa typed away. The silence between them was deafening but there was nothing he could do about it. 

Again, that’s what he got by becoming one of the regulars. Akutagawa became all too aware of everyone’s lives, whether he wanted to learn about them or not. He supposes that it was more Dazai’s fault than his own. 

“I know this guy is the one who cares about school.” Akutagawa glared at Atsushi for his stupidity. But he sighs to himself. Atsushi was younger than he was, he wasn’t entirely sure by how much, but enough that Akutagawa knew he wouldn’t make these mistakes if he was in love with someone. Still, something about Atsushi’s attitude pissed off Akutagawa. 

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out I guess Atsushi.” He hissed, pointedly not looking Atsushi in the eye. He removed a line from his word document, anger clouding his mind and causing him to lose focus. 

“It's nice to see you care.” Atsushi smiled at him but even Akutagawa could tell it was fake. It hurt him to see his friend treating his advice like it was nothing but then again, Atsushi worked with Dazai on a regular basis. “But I'm fine and I know what I'm doing.” 

“Fine, see if I care.” Akutagawa muttered, and Atsushi stood up from the table.  

“Fine. I will.” And with those words, he left Akutagawa alone to sulk.  

“Not one word.” Akutagawa found Atsushi in his seat the next day, tissues everywhere that surely weren’t sanitary and bloodshot eyes. Akutagawa raised his eyebrow at his junior, silently questioning what happened last night. 

“He broke up with me.” 

“Ah,” 

“That’s it? You're not going to tell me you told me so?” 

“Is that what you need to hear?” Atsushi muttered something under his breath but shook his head eventually. Akutagawa set up his books and grabbed his wallet, looking Atsushi in the eye. 

“Then that’s not what I'm going to comment on, do you want anything from the menu? It's on me.” 

“Thanks for not judging me the other day Akutagawa,” Atsushi stopped in front of his table, causing him to look up and take off his headphones. He gestured to repeat the statement before he responded.  

“Well, it's almost like I told you so.” Atsushi huffed, but he took a seat across from Akutagawa. He didn’t seem mad however, just a little dejected after everything that happened.  

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention it, but after you bought me coffee my coworkers decided to stage an intervention.” Akutagawa stared at Atsushi, waiting for some sort of elaboration but it looked like he was unwilling to admit anything further. So, he sighed and opened his mouth. 

“What for? An intervention? You're not some sort of drug dealer that no one knows about, are you?” Atsushi laughed halfheartedly at his joke, shaking his head. 

“No no. After my recent break up, you wouldn’t believe the excuse the guy gave me.” Akutagawa gave Atsushi a look. Atsushi sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck before continuing his explanation.  

“My colleagues said I must stop dating while I get my grades back up or I'd be cut from working hours. I don’t really understand why they must get in my business like this, but I know that they care about me so yeah.” 

“Makes sense, makes sense.” Akutagawa watched Atsushi deflate but at least it was out in the open. Akutagawa would pay to be a fly on the wall when that intervention happened. But he was thankful that Atsushi trusted him enough to tell him about it. 

“I know you didn’t say anything to them so that’s how I knew they had been waiting to talk to me about my dating life for a while. I think they're tired of hearing about my horror stories.” 

“You do seem to attract the worst of people sometimes, Atsushi.” 

“No, I don’t! Give me one example of a horror story!” Akutagawa smirked and turned his laptop around to click on a google document he had been helping to keep track of said horror dating stories.  

Tanizaki and Akutagawa were the admins; even though he had been invited to the document later in its creation. Atsushi looked horrified to see how each date was categorized, looking back and forth at Akutagawa for each line. 

“I hate my friends, that’s so incredibly fucked.” 

“Just looking out for you Atsushi,” 

“Yeah yeah.” Atsushi grumbled, dropping his head onto the table. Akutagawa reached forward to ruffle his hair briefly which caused Atsushi to look up at him lopsidedly.  

“Thanks though. You're a good friend Akutagawa.” 

“If I'm such a good friend, then you could call me Ryuunosuke from now on.” Atsushi’s head shot up at his sentence, and it was like literal stars were in his eyes.  

“I can? Oh my god, thank you! I’ll call you that from now on. Thank you for trusting me!” Atsushi grabbed Akutagawa’s hands in his excitement, and he really did resemble a golden retriever puppy. He didn’t mind it, even when Atsushi realized what he was doing and backed up with a sheepish grin.  

“You’re welcome, but you should probably go back to work before someone says something.” Akutagawa laughed quietly to himself, waving goodbye and resumed his essay. 

Akutagawa didn’t know what happened. One moment Atsushi came into work after their talk, all happy go lucky and not a care in the world. And then the next day, he came in looking like death.  

And that was the trend the next few weeks, aside from when Akutagawa would catch him at the cashier, Atsushi hung out in the back every time he came in. It meant had ample time to work on his homework without any distractions but that didn’t mean he wasn’t worried about Atsushi.  

His mood seemed to lighten when a new hire came on board, Akutagawa noticed the young girl came to follow Atsushi much like a puppy. He would feel relieved every time she got Atsushi to laugh even if it was halfheartedly.  

Akutagawa tried not to be disheartened by Atsushi stopping by his table less and less during those weeks. It was okay, Atsushi was fine.  

Although, it was a little worrying when one day Akutagawa came into the Toe Bean café and there the girl was, waiting patiently for him. Akutagawa dropped off his bag, hesitantly tapping her on the shoulder to get her attention.  

“Oh, good it's you.” She spoke softly, and Akutagawa had to guess she was only just a high schooler. He never saw her around the café unless it was after school hours were over. She just looked at him, and it made Akutagawa uneasy.  

He wasn’t sure how young a girl was capable of such a look, but he gulped as he waited for her to say something else.  

“There’s a meeting at 3. Be there.”  

“But-” 

“No excuses. This has to do with Atsushi before he comes into work for his shift. You can't get out of it.” And with that, she gets up and leaves Akutagawa alone with his thoughts. 

“Thank you again for making time for this meeting, even you Akutagawa. For getting such a short notice, one of your coffees is free of charge.” Kunikida started the meeting promptly. He had closed the café for the meeting, and he was making his rounds before any more regulars came into the store. 

“Don’t worry about it Kunikida. I’m curious why my presence was needed.” Akutagawa had brought his things into the break room with him, in case the meeting went long, and he didn’t want to leave his stuff unattended. He sat on one of the many bean bag chairs they had in the space. 

Tanizaki lounged next to him and gave him a thumbs up when he entered the room. Not at all suspicious, but Akutagawa wasn’t about to question it until someone said something.  

“Don’t worry dude, you haven't done anything wrong.” Tanizaki leaned over to whisper to him, but it didn’t make Akutagawa any less skeptical. The only one who was missing from the meeting aside from Atsushi, was Dazai. It raised some red flags in his mind, but it would mean that the meeting could be productive.  

After all, it was for Atsushi’s well-being, at least that’s what Akutagawa assumed.  

“I’m a tad anxious as to why I had to come to this meeting. This doesn’t technically involve me. I don’t work for the café.” 

“Yes, that’s true but Atsushi has mentioned multiple times that you are one of his closest friends, so it's important that everyone that’s close to him be at this meeting.” the girl spoke up from one of the stools next to the breakfast bar. Akutagawa nodded, although he was sure that he could've been filled in with what this meeting was about later. 

If it was so important then why wasn’t Atsushi at this meeting?  

“Kyouka-chan, can you repeat what Atsushi told you before? To catch everyone else up to speed?” Dazai walked through the door, tossing his outer coat over to Kunikida who shrugged it off as it fell to the floor. 

The girl in question, Kyouka, nods her head and takes out a notebook. Akutagawa is impressed by how put together she is, and then he notices how everyone at the meeting had some form of material in front of them.  

“Atsushi mentioned that it's been hard dealing with the dating ban. He had said before in passing that now that he’s forced to focus on one thing that he feels restless. And before he started dating wildly, everyone had their own experiences on how this behavior has changed him. That’s just an opinion though, don’t think about it too much.” 

“Did he delete his tinder?” Yosano asks and Akutagawa forgets that she was there, craning his head to turn around to look at the woman, she smirks at him for a moment and looks back at Kyouka.  

“No, not technically. He hasn’t been swiping on it but he's still talking about his previous matches.” Kyouka finishes her piece, looking over to Kunikida for prompting.  

“Atsushi promised to delete that damn app,” Kunikida was seething, but at Kyouka’s insistence he let out a shaky breath.  

“Give him a chance to remove it! I know it’s hellish to set up a new account! If he’s not failing his classes, does it really matter if he's going on a new date every week?” Tanizaki interrupted, holding up his hands when it was clear how everyone else thought of the situation.  

Akutagawa sunk into the bean bag, unsure what to say and hoped he could disappear into the void.  

“Give the boy credit where credit is due! He hasn’t gone out on a date since the ban” Yosano jumped in, and Tanizaki gestured to her in agreement. “Yes, thank you! Atsushi is young, he has his life ahead of him!” 

“He was failing all of his classes before we stepped in!” Kunikida countered Tanizaki. 

“He’s a college student Kunikida! He should be allowed to live his life the way he wants to.” 

“If he wants to throw away his scholarship then fine by us. He needs to learn how to be responsible then so be it.” Kunikida all but shouted and that’s when Dazai stepped in. He clicked his tongue at the blond, which didn’t help his anger.  

“Kunikida-Kun, Tanizaki is correct. Atsushi should be allowed to live his life however he pleases. But Tanizaki, if Atsushi cannot bring up his grades, he should be held accountable for his actions that led him up to this point.” Dazai spoke no nonsense. It was like he was a completely changed man, he spoke with such grace that Akutagawa was stunned into silence. 

If only for a moment.  

Dazai’s eyes scanned over the current group of people in the break room, before landing on Akutagawa. He felt a shiver go down his spine as he made eye contact with Dazai. A smirk sneaked its way up onto his former mentor’s face and that could only mean trouble.  

And he did not have to wait long to find out what Dazai was thinking.  

“Akutagawa-Kun! You’ve been quiet over there. Let me pick your brain,” Dazai sat on a chair in front of him, smiling in a way that made him uneasy. One of his eyes twitched but he stayed quiet. 

“Oh, come on. Surely you must have an opinion on this whole meeting? Aren't you at least a little curious why you had to come here?” 

“Alright I'll bite.” 

“Perfect! What are your thoughts on our dear little Atsushi, hm?” Akutagawa bristles but takes a deep breath to calm himself down before he says something he might regret.  

“I'm not sure,” Akutagawa pretended like everyone wasn’t holding onto his every word, he wasn’t sure how to feel about that. “You’ve known him longer than I have, has he always been like this?” 

“No. It only started getting worse a little after the Christmas party last year. Atsushi-Kun has always had some admirers, so it's not like he has trouble finding dates.” Kunikida says, crossing his arms and leaning against one of the chairs by the bar.  

Akutagawa hums, wondering what happened at the party. He had also been in attendance, but he doesn’t remember seeing Atsushi then. Then again, they hadn't properly met until this year. He takes his laptop out of his bag, opening it to the dating horror stories document and scans over the information. 

Tanizaki leans over his shoulder while he’s browsing everything, but Akutagawa ignores him for a moment. 

“I have a working theory; can someone fill me in on some missing information for the document? Tanizaki should have given an invite link to view it.” Akutagawa copied the information he suspected was helpful and pasted it into another doc.  

“This person back in March, what was wrong with them?” 

“Atsushi ghosted them after they were too controlling, which good for him but uh yeah I can fill that in right now.” Tanizaki murmured, and slowly everyone gathered the necessary information for Akutagawa to make his next point.  

“Okay hear me out. But I think there's a trend in Nakajima’s partners. I am an outsider to the café, but I've noticed that everyone here has flaws. As one might expect we’re all human, but my next question is for everyone to tell me what you think is someone’s flaw. I swear it’ll all make sense!” Akutagawa spoke fast, he could tell what he was saying sounded like nonsense, but he had to document everything. 

Maybe it was the computer sciences major in him, but Akutagawa knew he needed to be precise when he explained himself now of all times.  

“Our flaws? What does that have to do with anything?” Yosano asked, and Akutagawa sighed to himself, about to explain it when Dazai jumped in. 

“If Akutagawa asks for everyone's flaws just say something, I think this theory of his could really help us understand our Atsushi-Kun better if its correct” 

“Dazai-san flirts with everything that moves!” Kyouka’s hand shot up, words spewing from her mouth before Dazai could even stop. He squawks in an undignified manner while everyone else giggles.  

“Yosano is very self-confident but could also be considered too confident depending on who you’re asking,” Tanizaki muttered, and Akutagawa made a note even when Tanizaki yelped, his comment not appreciated by Yosano.  

“I’m just telling the truth!” 

“That’s no way to speak to a lady Tanizaki!” Akutagawa chuckled to himself. 

“There was another guy that was professional and a responsible guy. Kunikida really liked him because Atsushi met him while he was being tutored so I thought he’d end up with him for longer.” Tanizaki brought it up, and the next few minutes the flaws just kept coming.  

“Are you something of a pushover Tanizaki? You’re not getting out of this.” Akutagawa mentions as he’s filling in the document. Tanizaki dropped his head onto his shoulder, whining about why he was getting roasted and so on.  

Looking through his rough notes, Akutagawa wondered how he was going to present this without stepping on some toes. It wasn’t like he was in the right place to just call everyone out like this, but it was for Atsushi’s sake.  

So, he decided to rip the Band-Aid off. 

“Before I say anything, I just want to say that this is all a theory. Okay,” Akutagawa took a deep breath and began by turning his laptop around so everyone could see it.  

“Okay, take Dazai for an example. Nakajima would look for someone that was physically as affectionate as him. And easy to love, but seeing that he also saw himself as inferior, he would later write off the cheating accusations as something he deserved. Or the partner that Kunikida loved because he was hardworking and on top of things like himself.” Akutagawa took a moment to breathe and then continued. 

“You can see in the chart here, that they only broke up because Nakajima had unrealistic expectations placed on him. Like how some of Kunikida’s past relationships have ended.” 

“Hey!” Kunikida exclaimed. Akutagawa shrugged uneasily, he had hoped he was wrong, but the evidence was damning. 

“Or the one girl who got caught stealing under Atsushi’s nose!” Tanizaki jumped in, curious to where else Akutagawa was going with this. He could only grimace as he presented the rest of the evidence.  

“Atsushi seems to be picking people that remind him of his role models. Which is everyone he works with. There’s nothing wrong with that per say, but he’s also exceptionally good at picking people that are less than desirable. What was his home life before he came to live here?” 

Akutagawa was met with silence; which he expected but it did not make it any easier sitting there.  

“That’s about as far as my theory goes. I'm not sure what else I could say other than there's some factor that’s causing Nakajima to act like this. I don’t know him that well, but yeah that’s all.” Akutagawa let his laptop be passed around so that everyone could see the dots connecting so he settled back into the bean bag chair to relax.  

The beads against his back did nothing to soothe how fast his heart was beating.  

“I do have a question, who or what broke the camel's back to stage the intervention.” 

“Akutagawa don’t play dumb; we all know you hate it any time Atsushi-Kun talks about a new partner.” Dazai passed his laptop back over to him. Akutagawa sat up straight in the bean bag. What was Dazai implying? 

“Nah, what are you saying? I don’t care about who brings Nakajima home at the end of the day, he’s just a friend. Tentative friends at that if you needed the reminder.” 

“That’s bullshit,” Kyouka huffs. To which it causes a chain reaction of everyone scolding the high schooler for cursing, but she pushes through everyone and stops right in front of Akutagawa.  

“You know Atsushi as well as the rest of us. You’re friends, right? Don’t you worry about him?” 

“Well yes of course but I’m in no shape to tell him what he can or cannot do.” 

“Well, you should! He only listens to you!” Kunikida pipes up and to Akutagawa’s horror, everyone agrees. He slams his laptop shut before he knocks it off his lap. He shakes his head, unable to understand what they were all saying. 

“No, I think you’re all reading too much into this. I mean,” Akutagawa looked around the room until he found Dazai, clearing his throat. “Dazai, I can't believe I'm saying this but back me up.” 

“I never did specify whether you considered Atsushi-Kun a friend. My my Akutagawa-Kun, you’re protective of him aren't you.” Akutagawa felt his face burn up, he had walked right into Dazai’s trap and now everyone was staring at him intently.  

Shit. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Dazai-san,” Maybe if he played it cool, no one would be none the wiser about it. 

“I think Akutagawa has a little crush on our Atsushi-Kun.” And did that cause a reaction. Kyouka and Tanizaki were the first to say something, although the two of them both gasped with the news. Akutagawa winced as the questions came flooding in and he had the acute urge to get out of there. 

“Dazai doesn’t know what he's saying, I don’t like Atsushi like that!” 

“You called him by his given name! I haven't heard you do that yet!” Kyouka pounced at his feet, looking up at him like doe eyes and Akutagawa didn’t have the heart to deny it. Even if he was worried about Atsushi finding out sooner than later. He sighed and dropped his face into his hands. 

“If I confirm, will you please quiet down, you’re all giving me a headache.” He muttered through his fingers, wincing when people agreed to calm down.  

“Akutagawa you don’t normally give up so quickly. You must be quite smitten with Atsushi-Kun.” Dazai smirked and Akutagawa resisted the urge to punch him.  

“But go on, I want to hear for the record” 

“Not on your life, my love life is irreverent to what we were just talking about.” 

“On the contrary Akutagawa,” Kunikida piped up. “If you were to confess to Atsushi then all we’d have to worry about is his grades. Perhaps we could get him a tutor to make it through the rest of the semester.” 

“I hardly think that-” 

“No Kunikida is right. If Akutagawa were to man up and ask Atsushi out, then we’d never have to worry about another dating horror story.” Tanizaki exclaimed, and then backtracked when he noticed Akutagawa’s glare.  

“It's just a thought man,” 

“Akutagawa, if I may.” Kunikida motioned to him, and Akutagawa shrugged. He was indifferent about the meeting; he did not expect it to go like this. And if he had known beforehand, he wouldn’t have joined in.  

“What’s stopping you from confessing currently?” He pondered it but didn’t get a chance to answer because Dazai spoke up for him. 

“Let me paint a picture of the scene. Akutagawa-Kun realizes he likes Atsushi-Kun just before he went on that date with the tech major. Intervention staged happened. Then oh woah is him, Atsushi-Kun is on a dating ban. Suddenly Akutagawa-Kun is unable to confess to him since said enactment of the ban. How's that? Was I right.” 

“Dazai I’m going to kill you,” Dazai laughed while Akutagawa scowled, but he didn’t mean it. Not really. But it was a mistake to stare at Atsushi during his work shift where Dazai was always nearby.  

“Well, what's stopping you from confessing?” Kyouka interrupts, repeating the question from earlier, her head tilting to the side in curiosity.  

“Akutagawa-Kun is a little shy~”   

“Dazai-san!” Akutagawa doesn’t whine but his voice cracks as his face gets redder by the minute. Kunikida takes pity on him, and grabs Dazai in a chokehold to quiet him.  

“What is everyone doing here, I had to get Ranpo-san to let me in.” Akutagawa stills when he hears the voice, and everyone turns slowly to face Atsushi. He’s holding a coat, clearly had just gotten to his shift only to be met by the meeting in the break room.  

“Are you staging another intervention? I told you all I’m getting my grades back up and I don’t need another meeting. I just had one with my counselor anyway.” Atsushi rattles off, setting down his things and puts his hands on his hips. Akutagawa's eyes follow his every move, and it's not the move to do while Dazai was still in the room. 

“Akutagawa has a crush!” He shouts. 

Akutagawa lunged for Dazai just as Kunikida let go of the man. He slapped a hand over the laughing man’s mouth and scowled as he tried to wiggle out of his grip. But Akutagawa had been taking the gym more seriously recently and this time, was able to hold Dazai down.  

His former mentor gets out of his grip as Atsushi races to try and get Akutagawa off Dazai. It's not worth it, and Akutagawa lets Dazai go without much ceremony. He stalks over to his stuff and out of the break room, even when Atsushi calls for him Akutagawa doesn’t turn back.  

He wonders if he was going to ever live this down.  

The next couple of days are awkward.  

Akutagawa doesn't visit the café as much as he usually does. He can't walk into the café on the days he needs the Wi-Fi to send in a report without Dazai smirking at him and nodding his head towards Atsushi.  

He feels bad but he can't take the embarrassment now that the entire café knew about his crush. 

A crush that he was forced to recognize, and most of the time it was fine. On days like today Akutagawa wished he would just crawl into a hole until he decomposed so he would stop saying stupid stuff.  

Akutagawa had come into the café, on a time crunch but unfortunately got Atsushi as a cashier. No matter, he could stay professional through this.  

“What will it be today?” 

“I’ll just take a small black coffee,” Atsushi hummed, punching in the order, and reading his total. But Akutagawa was distracted by a mark on Atsushi's neck. He must've stared at it too long because Atsushi stiffened up, and Akutagawa noticed he tried to cover it up with his collared shirt.  

It didn’t work as well as Atsushi hoped for. But Akutagawa coughed to draw attention away from Atsushi. He could feel the stares of his coworkers on the two of them and that was bad enough already. He handed Atsushi money for his order and stalked to a nearby table to wait for his coffee.  

Akutagawa cursed himself once he had sat down, he couldn’t have made it more obvious that Atsushi had a hickey on his neck. But at least his diversion worked. He was just a tad embarrassed with himself as he waited for his coffee to be finished. 

In no time it was called out, but instead of rising to get the cup and leave; Atsushi hand delivered the cup to him. It was unnecessary, but Atsushi looked like he had something to say. So, Akutagawa remained seated, waiting for Atsushi to start.  

“It's not what you think,” Atsushi murmured. His fingers tightened on the cup, and Akutagawa’s lips pursed. But Atsushi didn’t stop there.  

No, that short sentence got the ball rolling and once it started, Atsushi couldn’t stop. Akutagawa could tell he was getting agitated but when he tried to get Atsushi to stop and calm down, he only got more emotional.  

“I swear Ryuu, you must believe me. It's not that-” Atsushi whispered the last few words, before earnestly pleading with Akutagawa again. “You have to believe me.” 

Akutagawa opened his mouth to counter, to tell Atsushi what he thought despite the damning evidence when it happened.  

It was like in slow motion, the way that Atsushi was clenching his fingers around the already fragile Styrofoam cup. And when the cup burst in his hands, it was no surprise when hot coffee splashed his way. 

Akutagawa winced as the liquid spilled onto his fingers, despite the distance between Atsushi and the table. Atsushi yelped as it dripped down his forearms and shook his hands to get the rest of the liquid off his skin.  

Some of it flicked onto Akutagawa’s face, to which he wiped it away and then something caught his eye.  

As Atsushi began to assess the situation and apologize profusely, Akutagawa inspected his left hand, and there was something there that wasn’t there before. It was bright red and angry, but it ran down his hand like it was blood. 

art by emi__sos

He turned his hand around, only to see it fade the harder he looked. As he checked again, it disappeared and just a mild burn remained in its place. Akutagawa huffed, and tuned back in to Atsushi’s long-winded apology just as it was tapering off.  

Atsushi looked like he was on the verge of tears. And with how many people were watching them now, Akutagawa didn’t hesitate to rise from his chair and approach Atsushi. Atsushi looked at him briefly, tears streaming down his face and Akutagawa could only lead him to one of the bathrooms towards the back of the café, away from people’s prying interest and a chance to get some icy water on their burns, respectively.  

Akutagawa got the water running, grabbed a wet towel to drench under the icy water, and wrapped it around Atsushi’s hands gently. It wouldn’t ease the pain of any burns they had, but at least it would bring relief until one of them could get it checked.  

Atsushi hiccupped as Akutagawa wrapped another towel around one of his forearms that already had angry red marks forming on his skin. He looked up at Atsushi and noticed his breathing had gotten slower.  

Good, Akutagawa thought to himself, as he refreshed the first batch of towels. Atsushi’s hands stopped him before he could move away again, and Akutagawa noticed he was crying again.  

“Hey,” Akutagawa murmured, getting Atsushi’s attention. “I think you're going to be fine, your quick thinking kept you away from most of the damage.” But that only proved to make Atsushi more upset. He shook his head fervently and Akutagawa had to pause.  

Akutagawa had had many accidents back when he was first starting as a barista, and this was nothing. Still, Atsushi looked worse for wear, and he could tell something was bothering him.  

It took a moment for Atsushi to collect his thoughts long enough to stop crying, and Akutagawa grabbed a towel so he could wipe his tears away if he needed to. Then, and only then, did Atsushi say something.  

“It wasn’t what you thought it was,’ Atsushi murmurs and Akutagawa is at once confused on what he’s talking about. It must show on his face because Atsushi sighs and pulls down on his collared shirt. Akutagawa is once again met with the hickey from earlier.  

Or so he thinks. 

“I asked Kyouka to help me style my hair for a presentation and she burned my neck with a straightener. I promise I won’t go back on the dating ban. Although,” Atsushi drops his voice down to a mumble. 

“I think my coworkers should let up on it since I got my grades back up.” He rambles, nervous energy spilling from his person, and Akutagawa holds out his hands to get him to stop shaking.  

That would explain a lot but why hide it from his coworkers. Akutagawa wondered aloud. 

“You know how my coworkers are most of the time,” Atsushi rubbed his hands together, wincing when his skin brushed against the half dry towels. Akutagawa assumed it didn’t feel great despite the obvious nervous habit and he reached forward to discard the paper towels.  

“Ah so it's just a burn?” 

Atsushi nods, and he releases his collar.  

And that’s when Akutagawa sees it again. It’s a flash of red and in a second, it's gone. Akutagawa stares at Atsushi for a moment but he shakes his head, clearly seeing things. He must be more tired than he realized. And without his trusty coffee, it was showing.  

“I mean if your grades are better, then I see no reason to keep the dating ban.” His throat felt like sandpaper saying that. Akutagawa wondered if Atsushi’s coworkers would extend it for his sake.  

And he realized that was selfish.  

Atsushi deserved to have a chance of love, even if it wasn’t with him.  

“That's what I'm saying! That’s why we’re such good friends Akutagawa, you really get me.” 

Akutagawa smiled tightly and continued to run his hands underneath the icy water of the bathroom. He felt strangely numb.  

“You do have a lot going for you Atsushi,’ Akutagawa murmured, “You have plenty of friends, a nice place to work and you're not half bad looking either,” 

Akutagawa realizes what he was saying and goes to take back what he said but Atsushi’s blushing face stops him. It’s unusual. He had never seen Atsushi so flustered, and Akutagawa felt a little bad.  

“Stop lying to me Ryuunosuke. I can't hold a partner to save my life.” 

“Atsushi, I respect you too much to lie to you.” 

Atsushi stands there shocked, but now Akutagawa was on a roll. He briefly wondered who filled his head with these lies about himself. 

“You're such a strong candidate for a partner, your personality is one of the best of your coworkers. And you're good with people, trust me I don’t talk to many people. You’re strong for keeping up and going on dates with people, I barely have friends outside of my place of work and you somehow land dates like its nothing? And you’ve been a good friend to me despite how prickly I can be, I don’t think I've mentioned it but thank you for being nice to me. And this might just be my opinion, but I think you deserve more than all the shitty dates you’ve been on, like you're a great guy Atsushi, and I think you deserve the best.” Akutagawa is out of breath by the time he finishes, and Atsushi is staring at him with wide eyes, like a deer in the headlights.  

And it was worth it, for a moment.  

Atsushi's face was red, but tears had once again sprung to his eyes sometime during Akutagawa's speech. Akutagawa is about to say something else when Dazai pops into the bathroom, which was quite easy to do considering Atsushi had been leaning against the door this whole time. 

Which means everything that Akutagawa said was very much in the earshot of Atsushi’s other coworkers. The same coworkers that knew he had a crush on Atsushi. Akutagawa ducks his head, suddenly feeling very embarrassed on a multitude of levels as Dazai mentions that Atsushi needed to either take his break or come back to work.  

Akutagawa didn’t miss the smirk that Dazai had when he looked up, which meant that everyone had heard his declaration.  

Oh, how he would love to crawl into a hole right about now. 

“Thanks Ryuunosuke, for saying that.” Atsushi whispers once Dazai leaves. 

And Akutagawa can only mutely nod before Atsushi left him alone in the bathroom, the sound of running water drowning out the chatter of the café.  

For the next week, Akutagawa wisely spends it at his own place of work, working. It's better than enduring endless teasing from Dazai. But word must travel fast because one day on his break, he gets bombarded with questions from Chuuya.  

It takes him by surprise, Akutagawa almost has a repeat of what happened at The Toe Bean café and spills the drink he was working on. As his customer grumbles at his mistake, Akutagawa glares at a smug Chuuya.  

“Can’t this wait until after shift?” He scowls, frantically wiping the spilt milk from his uniform.  

“Don't cry over spilt milk Ryuu-Kun.” 

“Ha ha you’re so hilarious. I hate you.” He began remaking the drink, hyper aware of Chuuya’s presence behind him. It’s only when he’s successfully remade the drink that his coworker pounces on him.  

“I heard little Ryuu has a crush on one of The Toe Bean’s baristas.” Akutagawa groans, and he doesn’t have to look at Chuuya to know he’s got a smirked grin directed at him. He continues making another order, just to focus his attention elsewhere. 

“I don’t know where you heard that.” He flicked hot milk at the redhead which did nothing to deter him. If anything, it only proved to fuel Chuuya further. 

“I have my sources,”  

“You still trust Dazai after all he’s done?” Akutagawa snaps, and that gets Chuuya to shut up. He knew he wouldn’t hear the end of his dumb speech, but for the word to have traveled to his place of work, Akutagawa groaned at the idea of telling Dazai to stay out of his business. 

He knew how well that would go, and decided if it was even worth it overall. Hint: it wasn’t.  

Nonetheless, Akutagawa spent the week just a little flustered every time he thought back to what he said to Atsushi. It wasn’t one bit of a lie, but he really laid out his feelings without saying anything about his actual feelings.  

And like the idiot he was, Atsushi took it as Akutagawa being friendly. At least his crush wasn’t that obvious. He sighed to himself; it was something to be thankful for. He had a chance if his feelings weren't as obvious as others said they were. 

“You’re in love with him, aren't you.” Gin told him one morning, which made Akutagawa slip on freshly mopped flooring.  

Or when Higuchi had mentioned Atsushi being one of the cute baristas and he had blushed against his will.  

Akutagawa loved his coworkers, but he wished they would just leave his business to begin with. He took pride in not being perceived correctly while in public but getting so blatantly called out in front of his peers, Akutagawa was at his limit. 

Akutagawa found himself close to banging his head on the wall multiple times a shift, but alas that would result in a concussion, and he wasn’t too keen on paying medical bills in addition to tuition.  

The next time Akutagawa steps foot in The Toe Bean café, he's dragged into the back with the other baristas. He sighs in relief to not see Atsushi on the floor but still, he doesn’t fancy getting dragged by his ear by Kyouka.  

“When are you going to ask Atsushi out?” 

“Excuse me?” Kyouka’s face doesn’t change, but she crosses her arms over her chest. The rest of the shift is staring at him, and Akutagawa can feel the stares of the other regulars in the shop.  

“You heard me. When are you going to ask out Atsushi.” 

“Did he say he was interested in me?” That causes everyone to take pause and Akutagawa lets out a tense breath.  

“No.” 

“Then why should I try to ask him out if he's not interested in me. I'm his friend first.” 

“Friends don’t say a speech telling each other how amazing they are.” Kunikida passes by the small coworker crowd. Akutagawa huffs in his direction but doesn’t deny it. He was just hoping that Atsushi’s coworkers hadn't been gossiping as much as they clearly had. 

No wonder Chuuya wouldn’t leave him alone.  

“But it’s thanks to you that Atsushi is finally listening to us about worrying about him rather than blowing all of us off.” Kyouka pipes up. And Akutagawa is confused.  

“What do you mean?” 

“What she means is that your words gave way to Atsushi asking if we all thought those things about him and he's been taking the last couple of days off to figure himself out. So, thank you,” Kunikida claps him on the back, and it almost takes his breath away, and at the same time it feels very much like the shovel talk.  

Akutagawa coughs, trying to regain air in his lungs when Kyouka hugs him. He stands there in shock, but eventually wraps his arms around the girl. 

“Atsushi gets in his head a lot but around you he doesn’t. Don’t hurt him.” 

“I would never.”  

“Ryuu!” Akutagawa’s head snaps up while he's working on a paper. Atsushi stands in front of him hesitantly, wringing his fingers and something flashes between them. Akutagawa is reminded of a red string he had seen on Atsushi’s fingers a while ago but stares at his hands and finds nothing. Huh. That’s weird. 

“Ryuunosuke?” He realizes he should answer instead of staring intently at Atsushi’s hands. They looked soft. What was Atsushi saying again? 

“Yeah?” 

“Are you busy?” Akutagawa stares at his unfinished essay and then back at the time. He could afford to procrastinate on turning in the document, it wasn’t like he was making any real progress on it anyway. He shook his head and Atsushi took a seat across from him.  

And then it's there, Akutagawa watches as a red string appears on Atsushi’s fingers but this time it stays long enough to see it fall off somewhere on the table. Ah, that was something he would have to investigate. Akutagawa was tempted to pull the string and see if Atsushi reacted to it, but Atsushi was talking to him, and he's forced to pay attention to what he was saying.  

“I was talking to the others, and I noticed I missed you coming in because of my classes so I was wondering if we could exchange numbers? I don’t know your schedule, but you know mine well. That’s what friends do right?”  

Akutagawa hummed and nodded. He pretended to not feel the uneasy slimy feeling in his chest as he wrote down his number on a spare napkin. He slid it over to Atsushi who happily took it and slid over the paper he must have had in his hands earlier. It was wrinkled and well worn; Akutagawa wondered how long it had been in his pocket for.  

“I don’t know why I didn’t think you would hand it over so easily. But thank you Ryuu!” 

And Akutagawa would do anything to keep that smile on Atsushi’s face. Even if he was hopeless in hoping that he could keep that smile all to himself. 

>> Jinko: so, wait ur a junior in college?? Idk why I thot u were a first-year student like me ;-; 

<< Ryuu: I don’t know whether to be offended or honored you thought I was younger 

<< Ryuu: can you please use proper grammar 

>> Jinko: NO geez ryuu were jst texting no need to be all proper 

>> Jinko: nvm you txt like a grandpa 

<< Ryuu: goodbye cruel world atsushi called me a grandpa I must cease to exist 

>> Jinko: ur just as dramatic as dazai wtf man 

>> Jinko: ryuu? 

>> Jinko: I DIDNT MEAN IT COME BACK WAH UR SO MEAN  

Akutagawa doesn’t know how it takes him but at some point, he notices something strange about Atsushi.  

It's obvious now that he's looking for it. Aside from staring intently for the red string again, of which he had looked up and it had something to do with soulmates and that discovery had prompted him to slam his laptop and not think about Atsushi having a soulmate, he noticed something else about his friend.  

Atsushi flinched, at any sort of touch.  

Akutagawa had thought he was going crazy. But every time Atsushi was casually clapped on the back or Dazai draped his weight on him, he would shove the person off, although it would be subtle. 

He wasn’t sure how long this had been happening, and he wouldn’t be the first one to mention it even though he was curious. So, Akutagawa kept watching as Atsushi worked. And he noticed that the only person who could get away with giving casual touch was Kyouka’s touch.  

But what was different from his coworkers? Akutagawa didn’t know the answer, and he was concerned about what the answer might entail.  

Akutagawa wasn’t a super touchy person on a normal basis, but he knew he was meticulous with whom he accepted friendly touch from.  

He briefly wondered if it was the same for Atsushi.  

And so, one day he decided to test his theory.  

Akutagawa hesitantly called Atsushi over under the guise of helping him with homework. It was clear that once Atsushi found out he was a couple of years older than him, he could easily help Atsushi with some much-needed tutoring.  

“What do you need help with this time?” Atsushi began explaining his current coursework and Akutagawa leaned in closer to peek at his worksheet. It wasn’t his fault he had left his glasses at home, no. So, as he squints at the paper, he nudges Atsushi’s side. 

And to his surprise, Atsushi doesn’t flinch. Akutagawa wonders if he even noticed the subtle touch. He leans into Atsushi's personal space again, to explain a topic that was making Atsushi struggle.  

Again, nothing from Atsushi’s side.  

Akutagawa leaned out of his space, clearing his throat and went back to explaining the concept as normal. And it shouldn’t excite him to be able to be up close to Atsushi like that. Akutagawa was just as happy as he could be pining after his friend, as much as he loathed to admit it was hopeless pining, much to his chagrin. 

And he assumes that’s that, his little experiment over with but something is still bothering him. Akutagawa wondered how Atsushi’s clear touch aversion would look if he was with a partner and Akutagawa had a horrifying thought if it was ignored in pursuit of a relationship. 

So, against his rational mind, he asks Atsushi about it towards the end of the tutoring session.  

They're friends. He could ask a personal question like that, without repercussions. Akutagawa was hoping it wouldn’t be taken the wrong way at least.  

“Hey Atsushi?” 

Atsushi hummed and didn’t look up from his worksheet. However, when Akutagawa hadn't spoken, he lifted his head to smile at Akutagawa.  

Hook line and sinker. What was he going to ask again? 

“Yeah, what's up?” 

“Ah I had a question. Or rather a theory. But I wanted to confirm with you first.” Atsushi looked at him expectedly and Akutagawa hoped that there would be no lull in the café's conversations while he asked this but, 

“Are you by chance a little bit touch averse? You seem to flinch away from people a lot.” and Atsushi’s eyes widened for a moment, but his mouth dropped open. Akutagawa was quick to back pedal, it was the wrong thing to say he shouldn’t have said something he should've respected Atsushi’s boundaries- 

“Is that what I've been feeling?” 

Well that certainly put a wrench in his mild panic, Akutagawa watched as Atsushi pondered for a moment before sighing.  

“What does touch aversion mean?” 

“Oh,” 

Oh. He didn’t expect that answer. Akutagawa opened his laptop and typed away at it to find the meaning, while Atsushi waited anxiously.  

“It could mean a variety of things, some being a response to mental illness or some form of trauma. There’s no pressure to tell me anything Atsushi, but what do you feel when someone touches you in a casual way?” 

“Like when Dazai leans his weight on me?” 

“Yeah exactly.” 

“Suffocating, like I can't breathe. Is that” Atsushi wrung out his hands and Akutagawa had the urge to hold them. “Is that bad? Is that normal?” 

“No, no that’s not. How long have you been feeling like this?” Atsushi went silent at that, and his eyes glazed over for a moment before his eyes snapped back at Akutagawa. He ended up shaking his head and Akutagawa didn’t press for an answer.  

He was concerned, the Atsushi before him felt vastly different from the Atsushi he’d come to know in the last few months. This Atsushi was a shell of his former self and Akutagawa would kill to find out who or what did this to Atsushi to make him retreat into himself. 

“I've been dealing with this all my life, I guess. I can't pinpoint when this didn’t feel normal. Is it treatable?” Akutagawa’s heart broke but he went back to his laptop to research the different articles.  

“It can be, with intensive therapy. Or it's a phobia. Do you know if it’s a phobia for you?” 

Atsushi shook his head, and then nodded. He seemed confused and Akutagawa felt bad for springing the question onto him in the first place. But Atsushi notices his own turmoil and reaches forward to grab Akutagawa’s hands.  

Atsushi's hands were warm to the touch, and Akutagawa hesitantly held them in his hands.  

“I don’t like touch most of the time, but your touch doesn’t bother me. Is that bad?” Atsushi murmurs. And Akutagawa shakes his head. 

“No, it's not bad. I'm not crazy about people invading my personal space either but I like it when my sister gives me hugs. I'm not huge on physical touch but with the right people it's okay.” Akutagawa is earnest in his words, and hopefully the message is conveyed. 

“Atsushi, if you're uncomfortable with your coworkers you need to tell them. You have boundaries, right? They're your friends, and they're going to respect your boundaries if you ask them to.” 

“How can you be so sure what if they use it against me,” Atsushi hiccups and Akutagawa becomes aware that Atsushi is crying again, but at least they're tucked away in his favorite corner table out of the public eye.  

“Atsushi, no one here is going to take advantage of you like that. Have your partners done that in the past?” and from the way that Atsushi doesn’t answer, Akutagawa gets his answer. And it disgusts him. He wishes he knew where Atsushi’s exes all lived so he could give them a piece of his mind but for now he had to focus on calming Atsushi down.  

“Hey, we’re your friends. We have your back. Your coworkers are your friends too and we all want the best for you.” Atsushi nods and takes a staggered breath. Akutagawa reaches for his bag to get some tissues, but Atsushi’s hands hold onto him tightly.  

“I don’t know how I'm going to get to the bathroom to blow my nose peacefully, gah I hate crying.” 

“Nothing wrong with crying Atsushi. I got tissues if you need it, I will need my hands back however.” Atsushi laughs watery, but he releases Akutagawa’s hands so he can dig through his bag for the tissue packet. Akutagawa misses Atsushi’s hands already, but he can't afford to be selfish.  

Even if Akutagawa was getting used to holding Atsushi’s hands, he cannot in his right mind hold hands with someone that had a soulmate somewhere else.  

(No, he hadn't found where Atsushi’s string led to, but no he didn’t want to get his hopes up either.) 

“Can you be there while I tell everyone? I don’t know if I can go without crying. Wait, that sounds pathetic.” Atsushi wiped his eyes and tried to blow his nose, but Akutagawa stopped him as he caught a manager peeking around Atsushi’s back.  

Akutagawa glared at Dazai and returned his attention to Atsushi. He pondered it and then grabbed his hands again, snot tissue included.  

“You're not pathetic and yes I'll be there for you if you asked.” 

“Thanks, Ryuunosuke.” Akutagawa hums, and he stares down at their conjoined hands and spots a string wrapped around his pinkie. He stares at it blankly for a moment, and then when Atsushi moves his hands out of embarrassment, that’s when he sees it. 

The string was attached to Atsushi’s hand.  

Oh. 

Oh. 

“Akutagawa-Kun!” Dazai greets Akutagawa at the door of the café. He nodded to Dazai and was sure his exhaustion was palpable. He could feel the strain in his eyes, and he closed his eyes to try to relieve it. It wouldn’t work overall but when he opened his eyes to rest them on the man, he figured it would be enough. He had spent all night trying to help Atsushi write a workable speech to give to his coworkers about his boundaries while also researching all he could about the mysterious red strings.  

Most search bars lead him down rabbit holes, but the consensus was that Atsushi, and he were soulmates.  

Akutagawa still didn’t know what to do with that information. Was it possible that he was imagining things out of desperation? He rubbed his eyes, sighing. No, he was a reasonable man. There was no way he could have imagined it.  

As much as he wanted to deny the idea of soulmates existing in this world, as a child he had been hopeful of finding someone that would love him through his flaws. It was a stupid dream his childhood self-had, but as he watched the red string flicker on his pinkie, he wondered if this was his chance.  

How convenient though; to catch sight of the string when Atsushi had mentioned his own flaws. The very moment he saw the string for what it truly was. Akutagawa stared up at Dazai and gave him a look. That’s all that Dazai needed. 

“I heard from a little birdie that you and Atsushi-Kun are soulmates.” Dazai smirked, and Akutagawa froze in the doorway.  

Ah, fuck. 

It took him a moment too long to dispute the claims, the rumors he wasn’t even sure were spreading since he never told anyone about his findings. Well, no, that wasn’t true. He had asked one of his psych major friends about it a while ago, and that must've gotten back around to Dazai. 

“Whoever is spreading such obvious rumors certainly has a sense of humor. Soulmates? What are we, in some sort of anime or something?” Akutagawa tried to shoulder past Dazai to go order something but to no avail. He feels his bag slip off his arm, and without much effort, Dazai tugs him back outside.  

The fact he wasn’t fighting it, oh Akutagawa was giving all the juicy information up to his former mentor on a silver platter. He would reason later it was because he was so tired at that moment. But he really didn’t care, there wasn’t anything he could do.  

“So do you believe in soulmates Akutagawa-Kun?” 

“Who’s asking?” He bristled, instinctively reacting as if Dazai had been teasing him for an unserious topic.  

“Well, I am,” 

“Then no. I don’t believe in them.”  

“Not even if it stared at you in the face? My my Akutagawa-Kun, I thought you were smarter than that.” His face felt like it was on fire, and he didn’t even have a good counterpoint, so he kept his mouth shut. 

“Cat got your tongue Akutagawa-Kun?” Akutagawa scowled, and he fought back the urge to stomp on Dazai’s foot with that grin directed at him.  

“Why do you even care? We don’t work together anymore.” 

“No, not anymore. But you made it my problem the moment you started befriending Atsushi-Kun.” 

“You're awfully attached to him aren't you,” 

“Nothing I couldn’t say right back at you Akutagawa-Kun,” 

“Don't call me that,” Akutagawa grabbed the hand that tried to ruffle his hair and shoved it away. Dazai laughed at his attempt of violence. He tsked and knew it wasn’t phasing his old mentor at all. Didn’t mean he couldn’t keep trying.  

“Why are you so invested in my love life, don’t you have Chuuya-san to bother?” He grumbled, as the arm came to rest on his head against his will.  

“Well, you two just make it so interesting how could I not be invested?” Akutagawa disregarded his restraint. Dazai didn’t even flinch which meant Akutagawa needed to stomp harder. He scowled as Dazai laughed at him.  

“You must’ve forgotten that Atsushi is on that dating ban.”  

“I didn’t know you two were on a first name basis,” Dazai cooed, and Akutagawa shoved his arm off his head. “You know you could always come work for me and ditch the others. What’s stopping you from quitting the Pup Mafia café anyways?” 

“For my general dislike for your manager abilities. Everyone’s glad you left the café years ago so who cares.” 

“You’re not fooling anyone with how much you spend your free time over here. I know you’re here to spy on me and yet, I never hear so much as a peep from Mori. When was the last time you reported back to him, I wonder.” 

“Dazai shut the hell up,” 

“You know I’m right. And you and I both know what those red strings mean even if you choose to ignore them. The question is what you will do with this information regarding Atsushi-Kun.” And Akutagawa whirled around to get into Dazai’s face. He wasn’t sure why he was so heated about this but hearing Dazai talk about it like he knew everything, yet again, made him want to punch Dazai in the mouth. Dazai had no idea what he was talking about, and he voiced it as much.  

“What do you know about the red strings?” 

“Enough,” Dazai chuckles. His face darkens and Akutagawa scrambles to take a step back. 

“Enough to know what happens when you decide to ignore it. If that’s what you decide to do, then I'd suggest stopping pursuing Atsushi. You and I both know he’s had enough hurt to last a lifetime.” 

But Akutagawa didn’t know; There was still so much he didn’t know about Atsushi. And it was clear that Dazai knew some things he didn’t. Did he deserve to pursue Atsushi when he had feelings for his friend? The same friend that dated people like he breathed air. It reminded him a bit like Dazai and Akutagawa didn’t know what to do. 

As if sensing his inner turmoil, Dazai speaks up.  

“Akutagawa-Kun, I'm only harsh on you for Atsushi’s sake. I'm not the same man I was back then. This conversation is not meant to embarrass you or make you feel lesser not knowing more about Atsushi. I'm just saying, if you are serious about your feelings for him, don’t let the front he’s given you stop you from learning about him.” 

“A front? What do you mean?”  

“Why don’t you ask him yourself.” Dazai held his gaze, and then it slid down to rest somewhere behind him. Akutagawa heard the clang of the door chimes and he slowly turned around to see Atsushi standing there.  

“So,” Atsushi started, but didn’t know where to start. Akutagawa dropped his bag on the curb and sat down next to it. He wasn’t sure how much Atsushi had heard of his conversation with Dazai but still. It was fragmented enough to raise suspicion. That he was sure of. 

He was still reeling as he often did whenever he had a serious conversation with Dazai. It was unlike his old mentor, but he did have a point. Akutagawa would have to make up his mind about Atsushi, he just wished he had a chance to process his thoughts before seeing him again.  

“What did you want to ask me? I didn’t catch most of your conversation, but Kunikida mentioned it was something important?” 

“How’d you sleep last night?” Akutagawa dodges the question with one of his own. Atsushi stares at him for a moment, eyes narrowing in his direction.  

“I slept fine, you don’t normally avoid my questions like that. Did Dazai do something? I can talk to him if you want me to.” Akutagawa shook his head, trying to find the right words. Stupid Dazai, he needed the time to process what he was going to say but having been thrust into a conversation right after being thrown for a loop, his thoughts were understandably scattered.  

“It's nothing, probably.” Akutagawa mutters, avoiding Atsushi’s eyes. 

“Are you sure about that? Please look at me Ryuunosuke.” Akutagawa was a weak man. And when Atsushi’s voice sounded like it was about to break, he couldn’t afford to ignore it. He turned towards Atsushi, to find him sitting on the curb next to him. Atsushi was twiddling with his thumbs, absentmindedly.  

“Are you telling me the truth?” Atsushi looked up at him, and Akutagawa shook his head. But he kept talking, to diffuse the situation. 

“It's not your fault, I just need some time to think about something Dazai said. He’s persistent when he needs to be, and my thoughts are very scattered right now. I promise the moment I know how to voice them I’ll tell you everything.” Akutagawa felt his throat go dry as he waited for Atsushi to say something. Anything. It wasn’t much of a confession, but he hoped it was enough. 

“You promise?” Akutagawa nodded and without thinking, grabbed one of Atsushi’s hands.  

“I promise, you're one of my best friends and I don’t want to do or say anything that ruins that.” Atsushi laughs and Akutagawa can tell he's about to cry.  

“You could never say anything to do that Ryuu. Give yourself more credit.” He wipes away a stray tear that fell, and Akutagawa watches him with rapt attention. It makes him a little shy, so he turns away to clear his throat.  

“You always say things like that. How can you have so much faith in me like that?” 

Atsushi is quiet for a moment, but since their hands were still entangled, he squeezes Akutagawa’s hand.  

“I know you're a good person, despite what most people say. You’re a loner but you're also exceedingly kind to my colleagues. You give a tip every time you come in and you listen to me when I'm processing my thoughts aloud.” Atsushi turns to him, excited.

Akutagawa unfortunately knew where this was going and opened his mouth to reject the idea. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Please Atsushi give me a few days, that’s all I ask.” Atsushi concedes, and as he rubs comforting shapes into Akutagawa’s skin, the string grows brighter.  

It would only be a few days later when Akutagawa would come clean about his feelings.  

The speech he had written up with Atsushi had been a success, as Atsushi talked over the phone with Akutagawa detailing what his colleagues had thought and were proud of him for expressing his boundaries. 

Of course, Atsushi still had a long way to go if he was going to feel comfortable and assertive about how he was feeling, but it was a good start. He was also very respectful towards the time Akutagawa took to figure himself out.  

The frequency in which they talked didn’t differentiate. In fact, Akutagawa found himself texting Atsushi more throughout the day. It was embarrassing to be caught at work smiling down at his phone by his coworkers, but it was worth it in the end.  

“So, there I was, about to walk five minutes late to my final exam when I opened the door and there was no one there! No one even told me that it had been moved until the next day. You should've seen my professor, Ryuunosuke; he was so skeptical when I was one of the first students through the door. But right now, I’m glad to be finally done with the semester. It was unnecessarily hellish.” Atsushi spoke while rummaging around his room. Akutagawa had called him to catch up after he turned in his own final, content to just listen to Atsushi ramble. 

“I'm also glad to have the semester finished. I'm so close to graduating.” Atsushi ooed and awed in a mocking tone but Akutagawa could only laugh. He listened as Atsushi mentioned something about getting a new roommate for next semester.  

“Oh yeah, you live with roommates, right? I wanted to ask about how to divide house chores and what not.” 

“No, I live alone. Gin lives in the dorms.” 

“Oh, I don’t know why I thought you had roommates. Wait, who's Gin?”  

“Gin is my little sister, I'm pretty sure she goes to school with Kyouka-chan.” 

“Oh my god. That makes so much sense Kyouka has been mentioning Gin-Chan for weeks now. What else do I not know about you Ryuu?” Akutagawa knew Atsushi was teasing him, but he paused. This was his chance to come clean and he was going to take it in stride.  

“I realized I liked someone recently, I guess if you could count that.” And at that Atsushi went silent. Eerily quiet.  

Akutagawa noticed that Atsushi always had some sort of dull noise around him, but it was like his words made him stop breathing entirely.  

“Do you now?” Atsushi whispered on the other side of the phone, strangely sounding subdued. Akutagawa nodded and then remembered that Atsushi couldn’t see him.  

“Yeah, that’s part of what Dazai was talking to me about that day.” 

“Do I know her?” Akutagawa barked out a laugh. 

“I'm gay Atsushi, don’t worry.” 

“Oh, I'm just learning all sorts of things about you today. Well, tell me about him,” The life in his voice came back slowly, but Akutagawa could tell Atsushi was still acting a little off.  

“Hm, I met him at work and he's pretty, God he's one of the prettiest guys I've seen. He’s been my friend for the longest time, but I haven’t had the courage to ask him out after I learned that he might be on the aro spectrum. All my coworkers tease me when I'm texting him, what else.” Akutagawa spoke without a filter, no rhyme or reason to what he was saying, and he hoped that Atsushi got the hint. 

“He sounds wonderful. Do I know him?” 

“Yeah, I hope you do. Because it's you.” And then Akutagawa was met with silence. The only noise he could hear was distant thunder in the distance. Akutagawa held his breath, hoping that he hadn't read the hints wrong.  

“Ryuunosuke?” Akutagawa hummed to show he was still on the line, and his throat suddenly felt dry.  

“I can't believe you! You had me so worried that I did something to make you hate me, but you like me?” Atsushi’s voice fell into a hushed whisper, like he couldn’t believe what he heard.  

“That’s not the only thing, but it was a deciding factor to tell you. Should you believe it, I mean.” 

“Go on,” 

“Well, it's easier to show you. Can you get to Yokohama Park in like 15 minutes?” 

“Yeah why? Ryuu, it's about to rain.” 

“I promise it’s worth seeing, and then you can tell me your answer then. How about it?” Atsushi was quiet as he thought about Akutagawa’s offer but he eventually agreed to meet up. Once they hung up, Akutagawa scrambled to get ready and head out.  

His love life depended on it. 

Akutagawa felt raindrops on his shoulder as he waited for Atsushi to arrive. He had smartly brought an umbrella as it started to rain as he was running to the park. He doesn’t know why he chose a park that was the furthest from his apartment but at least he had made it there before Atsushi had.  

As he caught his breath, he saw a flash of light in the distance. Atsushi waved at him from afar with his flashlight and Akutagawa could see the red string from that distance. It confirmed his theory that the sooner he accepted his feelings, the brighter the string would appear.  

It made him blush, thinking about it.  

It didn’t take long for Atsushi to arrive, although he stepped underneath Akutagawa's umbrella to get shelter from the rain. Akutagawa felt bad, offering to cover Atsushi more but he declined.  

“So, you got me out here and got me wet. Is that all a part of your grand plan to get me sick.”  

“No no, give me your hands.” And Atsushi obliged, a little too quickly. It gave Akutagawa hope as he found the string had shrunk due to their proximity. He rotated Atsushi’s hand until he could grab the string which made Atsushi jerk in recognition.  

“No way you can see that too?” 

“I've been able to see it.” Akutagawa admits shyly, now faced with the truth, he wasn’t sure how to explain everything. At least Atsushi wasn’t running away from him, calling him ridiculous. That was good. 

“I just didn’t find out until recently where it ended.” Akutagawa held up his own hand, to where Atsushi's string was attached to. Atsushi was in awe, staring at their intertwined hands. Akutagawa could see the gears turning in his head, so when Atsushi runs his fingers over the string, he has a good idea what he’s thinking about. 

“This is so wild, I've always wondered if something like this existed, but I was never too sure.” 

“Are you serious?” 

“Yeah, I had heard stories about it when I was younger. But then again, I grew up in the foster care system, so all the bigger kids probably fed me lies as a form of entertainment.” Atsushi drops that tidbit of information without much ceremony. It startles Akutagawa how easily he could say something like that, but he doesn’t have the chance to ask about it when Atsushi tugs on the string and he stumbles forward.  

“I'm sorry but this is so interesting. We’re soulmates! Wow,” Atsushi raises his hand and Akutagawa watches as the string expands and shrinks with the movements of their hands. He still wasn’t sure how it worked but Atsushi was right, it was entrancing.  

“I’m assuming this is why you confessed now of all times.” 

“Yeah, is that a bad thing?” Akutagawa ducked his head in mild embarrassment as Atsushi laughed softly. 

“It's more than okay, oh my god when I walked into the break room you were getting grilled about your crush on me!” Atsushi exclaimed and Akutagawa could've groaned.  

“Not initially but you know how Dazai is.” Atsushi barks out a laugh, nodding his head. Yeah, they both knew exactly how Dazai was, which is why it wasn’t surprising in the slightest. He stands there, enjoying Atsushi’s presence when something soft is pressed against his cheek in a flash.  

Akutagawa is confused, as Atsushi pulls away from the chaste kiss. His brain shuts down as he processes what happened and Atsushi ducks his head in embarrassment.  

“Sorry I should've asked if I could do that. How hypocritical of me to not ask about your boundaries. 

“No, it's okay uh,” Akutagawa's mind feels like mush and Atsushi can't help but laugh as the rain gets stronger around them.  

“Can I kiss you, Ryuu?” 

“Yes, god please.” 

Akutagawa hums as Atsushi presses up against him, lips pressed to his mouth. And my god. Atsushi’s hands run up his chest, stopping at the back of his neck to tug his head closer. Heat spreads through his body despite the chill in the air. At first the kiss was tentative, but as Akutagawa pulled Atsushi closer by his waist, it grew in intensity. 

Akutagawa's heart pounded, as they broke for air and Atsushi’s lips brushed over his cheek before going back into the kiss for more. It was perfect for a moment as Atushi nudged his mouth open despite how nervous he was to do anything beyond normal kissing.  

It wasn’t like he was some sort of prude, but Akutagawa hadn't kissed anyone in years, so he hoped he was doing okay as Atsushi had more experience on him despite being younger. He leaned into the kiss, tilting his head to kiss deeper as Atsushi hummed into his mouth.  

It felt undeniably good, as Atsushi cupped his cheeks to press a couple more chaste kisses to his face before pulling back to admire his work. Akutagawa was out of breath, as his eyes fluttered open. He wasn’t sure when he closed them, but Atsushi was smiling down on him so sweetly. He smiled back at him, bringing him closer for a hug. 

Except Atsushi leaned a little too much against him and with the asphalt they were standing on it was more saturated with water than he originally thought. And Akutagawa lost his balance.   

In a quick second, Akutagawa went from trying to hug Atsushi to his entire world tilting on its axis. His feet slip from underneath him, and since Atsushi was still holding onto him, the weight of his body knocks the air out of Akutagawa’s lungs. He groaned, beginning to cough once he recovered enough to.  

Thankfully Atsushi’s hands had shielded his head from slamming onto the concrete, it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt though. But at least he had caught Atsushi before he could hit the ground. His back ached, and he was sure to have some bruises on his back in the morning. It wasn’t l  

“Oh my god I'm so sorry! I wasn’t thinking straight and-”  

“Atsushi. It’s fine, we should probably head under some cover before we get sick.” Akutagawa wheezed even as Atsushi got off him, the impact really did a number on him. Atsushi helped him stand, holding extra tightly when his legs almost gave out underneath him. Again. And they walked slowly to a covered basketball court that was next to the park.  

From there, they shook out the umbrella and whatever excess water they could from their clothes. Akutagawa had already sneezed by the time the rain started to let up. He had to start heading back before he got sick, but Atsushi was a little quiet next to him.  

“Are you okay?” Atsushi’s head jerked up to meet his eyes and he nodded. Still, it was like something was bothering him, so Akutagawa prodded again.  

“I'm fine I'm just worried for you. I guess I got carried away kissing you.” Akutagawa chuckled to himself, and he shrugged. He didn’t mind falling if it meant that he could hold Atsushi in his arms for a moment. Which reminded him of a question he wanted to ask.  

“So does this make us dating?” Atsushi beat him in asking, which flustered Akutagawa a little bit.  

“I would love to date but I must ask what your boundaries for this relationship are. I want to make sure that you're always comfortable with me, Atsushi.” Akutagawa shifted closer to Atsushi, close enough to be comforting but far enough to allow Atsushi to make the choice to step closer if he wanted to.  

“You're the first person to ask me that question. I know it's not much and it’s the bare minimum but thank you Ryuunosuke. I really appreciate it.” Atsushi stepped closer to him, and hesitantly wrapped his arms around Akutagawa’s waist. Akutagawa returned the gesture, waiting until Atsushi sighed in relief and all tension left his body 

“You don’t have to tell me right away; you can even write a list and I'll keep it close for the rest of our lives. I want to honor you Atsushi.” He whispered. 

“I’ll definitely take that offer, and I know it might be too soon to say this but,” Atsushi goes to say a couple of words, but Akutagawa holds up a hand to stop him.  

“You don’t have to rush yourself; I can wait.” Atsushi blushes at his words, or maybe that was the cold finally getting to both of them. 

“Thank you,” Akutagawa smiled softly at Atsushi, leaning forward to press a kiss on his temple.  

“What do I do to deserve you.” Atsushi murmured, clearly enjoying the attention from his partner. Wow, Akutagawa could say that now.  

“I mean if you want scientific reasoning I could very well go into an explanation.” But Atsushi just laughed, shaking his head fondly at Akutagawa. His laughter made Akutagawa feel warm inside. 

“That was the nerdiest thing I've ever heard you say, Ryuunosuke.” He shrugged and leaned in to kiss Atsushi once more. 

“But you love me for it,”  

“Yeah, I definitely do.”