Chapter Text
Prapai stopped by the door of the terrace. He had been waiting for the right moment to approach Sky. It seemed the moment was never right, however. Sky had been avoiding him forever now. Days, weeks, almost months it seemed. It had gotten worse after the party at their school. Prapai wasn’t sure why, but he felt Sky distancing himself more and more each day of silence.
“I didn’t think you’d come.”
Sky turned back, flinching. Prapai smiled.
“It’s your graduation party. I thought it’d be rude to miss it.”
“Is that all?” Prapai stepped in. His hands on his pockets and the familiar easiness Sky was used to. “You just didn’t want to be rude?”
“I guess I also wanted to say goodbye.”
Something in Prapai’s chest fell. He supposed it was his heart. He stepped closer to Sky and looked at him.
“What do you mean ‘goodbye’?”
“Well. It’s summer now. No more classes. Next year you won’t be going to school anymore either. So, we’re not going to see each other.”
“We could still meet.”
“We could.” Sky agreed. “But we’re not going to.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s over.” Sky nodded to himself. “Between us.”
Prapai parted his lips. He was confused. Then again, it was him breaking up with Sky. He should have known the consequences of ending something. Sky didn’t owe him a continuation.
“Is it really?”
“I can’t go on like this.”
“Like what?”
“Wondering if I’ll ever be good enough for you.” Sky turned to Prapai with his head down. “I’ve been feeling very jealous lately. I see people around you and I feel so jealous. And I have to accept that we’re not together anymore and that you can be with whoever you want.”
“I don’t want to be with someone else.”
Sky gulped down a nasty thought. He shook his head. “You can say that, but you’ll never stop flirting with other people.”
“Is that something that bothers you?”
It didn’t use to be. But now, “Yes.”
“You could have told me before.”
“Sorry.”
“I’m not interested in anyone else, Sky.” Prapai mumbled.
“Maybe not right now. But if we’re broken up we should try to move on, right?”
There it was. The raw reality of the situation Prapai put them in. He supposed Sky pushed him to make the decision to break up, but in the end he knew the risks. He had to keep repeating that to himself. He made a decision. He made the decision.
“I didn’t mean to lose you when I ended things.”
Sky closed his mouth. He let Prapai’s hand on his hand on the railing, tensing a little. He wanted Prapai all over his skin so much. And as if Prapai could read his mind, he let his fingers brush on Sky’s wrist.
“Sky.”
“You can’t touch me.” Sky said weakly. Prapai took away his hand immediately. “Not anymore. I want you too much, you understand? I can’t handle you near me because of how much I want you. It’s too much, I can’t do it.”
Prapai’s eyes perked up. A glimpse of hope caressed his chest. “Let me take you home.”
Sky blinked. He was cornered by Prapai who stood between him and the railing, blocked by his arms.
“I want to touch you one last time. If we’re going to say goodbye, let’s do it properly.”
“...One last time?” Sky asked.
“I think we’ll do it a couple of times at least.” Prapai teased. “We always do.”
Sky blushed but his face was a blank until he looked up at Prapai’s eyes. He inhaled before Prapai leaned in and pressed a mutual kiss on Prapai’s lips. Just tasting him made his knees practically break out of weakness.
“What am I saying? I don’t know if I can say goodbye to you.” Prapai admitted.
“You have to.” Sky crossed his arms. He looked uncomfortable which made Prapai step back. “I can’t hold on to you anymore. I already cry all the time and I’m always assuming the worst, that you hate me and that you’re with other people. And if we go back and forth, I don’t know what will happen. It’s going to be an awful cycle for both of us, don’t you think?”
“Unfortunately, you might be right. But I don’t want to imagine that we’re just going to end up hurting each other that much if we stay close. I mean… Can’t we be friends at least? I mean, Venice and Rain are practically married, and we’re their best friends, so we’re going to see each other forever.”
If they don’t break up, Sky thought a little guilty. The last thing he wanted was for Rain to go through a break-up. He was actually rooting for Venice to not mess up. And as his eyes escaped to the inside of the bar, he saw Venice’s arm around Rain’s waist and Rain’s arm around his shoulders as they were speaking to Dani and Hai. Maybe they would be alright, and maybe Prapai was right.
“We can be friends. Just not right now.”
“You’re killing me here, Sky.”
“I’m sorry,”
“No, don’t say that. There’s nothing to be sorry for. It’s the situation we’re in.” Prapai sighed. He held onto the railing with his head down, honestly not knowing what to do. He couldn’t bear to lose Sky, but it felt like he was escaping through his fingers.
“It’s all because I love you.” Sky said. It got Prapai to look at him. “It’s only so hard to deal with all of this because I'm so in love with you, and I have never felt so much love for someone. And no one had ever loved me back, not so kindly or so purely. So thank you.”
Prapai didn’t think he could see Sky crying without crying too, so he pulled Sky closer and hugged him tightly.
Sky laid his head on his shoulder. “We should go home.”
“Do you actually want to do this?”
“I need to do this. I need you. And I need closure.”
“I need you too.”
“One last time.” Sky whispered. But he didn’t believe it. And neither did Prapai.
***
“I’m getting tired.” Venice looked at Rain.
“Do you want to go home?”
“Yeah.”
Rain pressed his lips together and put his glass down.
“What is it?”
“I’m craving ice cream.”
“Let’s go find ice cream then.” Venice patted his head.
“We can get it at home.”
“Alright then. Say your goodbyes.”
“I barely know anyone.” Rain shrugged with a frown. “I’ll wait outside for you.”
Venice watched him go. Soon enough he was out the door and sitting on his bike, having Rain’s arms around his waist.
Everything was okay when they were on the road and Rain’s arms were around him. Rain was never afraid or anxious when Venice rode the bike. He fully trusted Venice. It felt important. Those days they seemed more and more distant.
Once Venice parked the bike, Rain was quick to hop off and take his helmet off.
“Hyung, I’m going to buy ice cream. Do you want some too?”
“I’m alright.”
“You say that and then you steal from mine. Just tell me if you want some.”
“I’m fine, Rain, just go get your ice cream.” Venice smiled weakly.
Rain squinted his eyes and shrugged. “I’ll bring you a cup.”
Venice rolled his eyes and leaned on his bike, waiting. In just a couple of days Rain would leave to go back to his home and his mother would be back. They wouldn’t have so much time together and Venice wasn’t happy about that. They weren’t in a good place. If they separated now, they would only be worse. The thought was enough to make him a little angry but he brushed it off especially once Rain was back with two cups of ice cream.
“Caramel for me, vanilla for you.”
Venice frowned. “I don’t like vanilla.”
“You like it when it’s in my cup.” Rain offered smiling, victorious once Venice took it.
“This is disgusting.”
“Just pretend it’s something else.”
“Give me yours. You like this.”
“You’re so picky.” Rain grabbed the ice cream and gave the caramel one to Venice, having his hair messed up by Venice’s free hand.
“How do you think I ended up with you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Means I have a very particular taste.” Venice put his arm around Rain’s shoulders. He licked Rain’s cheek, smiling when Rain looked back outraged. “I only like the sweetest things in life.”
“You’re so shameless.” Rain wiped his cheek.
“And you’re so sweet. Maybe I’ll just have you instead.”
“Well, too damn bad, you’ll have to wait. Because I actually want to eat this ice cream.”
They were already inside their home, down the hall when Venice groped Rain. “Do you want to stay with me tonight?”
“In your room?”
“Yes.”
Rain hesitated. “Sure.”
“It’s okay if you’re tired or something. I was just trying out my luck.”
“Because you want to have sex?” Rain asked, a little too blankly for Venice to not find it funny. He used to be so embarrassed of talking about it but now it was just natural.
“Yeah.”
“No, it’s okay, I want to do it too.”
Venice smiled widely and kissed Rain’s cheek, guiding him to his bedroom. They finished their ice creams on the couch, switching through channels. Venice got up to wash his hands, not telling Rain he didn’t have to follow him to the bathroom. He let it happen and looked at Rain who leaned on the sink.
“I think I should shower first.”
“Okay,”
“Alone.”
“Oh. Yeah, of course. Go ahead, I’ll wait in bed.” Venice backed away, closing the door behind him.
He took his clothes off and laid in bed with only his boxers on. The wait wasn’t long. Soon enough Rain was leaving the bathroom with a towel around him and his hair dripping wet. Venice smiled and nodded for Rain to lay with him, embracing Rain when Rain laid too.
“Do you feel refreshed?”
“Yeah. I felt like I smelled badly after sweating all night.”
“You didn’t.”
“Still.” Rain pouted. Venice smiled at him. “What?”
“You’re pretty.”
Rain pressed his lips together and looked down, playing with his fingers.
“What’s wrong, Baby?”
“I just haven’t felt pretty around you lately. I feel annoying and unwanted most of the time.”
“Don’t say that.” Venice whispered against Rain’s forehead. “You’re always beautiful and wanted by me. I know things have been shaky between us lately. It’s like we’re not in sync anymore. But I love you. And I know you love me. We just have to talk more.”
“The more we talk the more we argue, hyung.”
“It won’t be like that anymore.” Venice pulled him tighter. He kissed Rain’s forehead, nose and then his lips. “I promise.”
Rain let Venice kiss him. He wasn’t sure if he could be as hopeful as Venice was being, but he decided to let himself go once Venice began touching him. They always fixed things. They always made it work. They loved each other, Venice was right. They would always find a way out of the bad times.