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Help Me Erase Myself

Summary:

It was just supposed to be a fun night of karaoke with his friends, no judgement, and certainly no analysis of the song he chose.

Though in hindsight, he should have known Mercedes would bring it up, especially with the tiny creative liberty he took with the lyrics. He just wished he could find a way to give her enough pleasure to make her drop it.

Notes:

For the Sylcedes flash week, not particularly related to the theme of surprise, but the event finally got me to write them as the focus after putting them in the background for several fics.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Everyone clapped politely as Leonie put the microphone back and happily rejoined their table, having just finished singing her rendition of Disturbed’s Indestructible. As soon as she buried her face into Lorenz’s shoulder Sylvain took one of his clapping hands and dug into one of his ears: very few of them were any good at karaoke, but drunk Leonie was on a whole other level, though Lorenz would always forcefully insist she was decent when sober.

“Alright, I think we should do one more and then head out for the night,” Dorothea said as she looked around with a smirk. “We all seem to be getting a little handsy with our partners. Keep them above the waist until you get home, Miss Bennett,” she added with a pointed grin to Leonie, who responded by giving Dorothea the finger. Dorothea looked around at everyone assembled, before her eyes locked with his and she grinned. “How about a Sylvain solo?”

“Oh, that sounds like fun,” Mercedes said from next to him, as she unwrapped her arm from around his waist, giving him a slight pat on the butt when he stood up.

“Well, who am I to disappoint two wonderful ladies who’ve asked for it?” he said, to a general response of eye-rolling and groans. He made his way up to the bar’s stage, scrolling through the music selection until one caught his eye. The part of his mind that maintained sobriety cautioned against that choice, but he ignored it as he often did and chose the song, grabbing the microphone and facing the table.

As the music started he saw everyone give him small looks of surprise at the guitar and piano riff that came over the speakers, and he couldn’t help but grin: Linkin Park was probably not what his audience had been expecting. Except perhaps Mercedes, who sitting next to Annette and Felix merely gave him a curiously raised eyebrow. He gave her a wink and a flash of his pearly whites just before he started to sing. 

In this farewell

There's no blood, there's no alibi

'Cause I've drawn regret

From the truth of a thousand lies

So let mercy come and wash away

WHAT I’VE DONE!!

As he continued the chorus he could feel his friend’s eyes upon him, but he only cared for Mercedes, giving him a soft smile that hinted to so many wonderful things…if he wasn’t careful, he might end up thinking he deserved such things.

Immediately refocusing his mind as he started going down that path, he saw the words come up on the screen for the next verse, and an idea came to mind that made him grin. Something that he could keep his own little secret.

Put to rest

What you thought of me

While I clean this slate

With the hands of uncertainty

As the next line came up he stared Mercedes dead in the eyes, giving her a salacious grin.

So let Mercie cum, and wash away

WHAT I’VE DONE!!

He continued the rest of the song, feeling more pleased with himself than he knew anyone should for such a thing, and when he finished he gave everyone a flourishing bow.

After giving their obligatory applause, everyone started getting up and gathering their things as he walked over to Mercedes, giving her a brief kiss on the cheek. The look she gave him could only be described as hungry, and he tried to fight down the stirring in his loins at the clear sign that their evening was far from over.

“Hey Felix,” Sylvain said as he walked over to where he stood next to Annette, who was giving Felix a similar look Mercedes had given him. “Looks like we’re going to have to figure out where each of us are going for the night.” Felix only glared in response. “Aww, still embarrassed by the duet you did with Annette?” he asked teasingly.

“Whatever,” Felix said, and Sylvain guessed that was his response to both inquiries.

“Well, guess this has to be solved the old fashioned way,” Sylvain said, holding a palm out and putting a closed fist in it. Felix rolled his eyes and did the same, and on three Sylvain’s paper beat Felix’s rock.

“Guess Mercedes and I are going to our place,” Sylvain said happily. His and Felix’s apartment was a lot nicer than Mercedes and Annette’s.

“Do you want to go to their place instead, Annie?” Mercedes asked pointedly.

“No, it’s fine,” Annette said as the four of them walked out of the bar together into the dark of what was now early night. “Sylvain won fair and square.”

“Well, you two are welcome to crash in my bed after you’ve done the deed,” Mercedes said, giving her an amused smile.

Annette’s cheeks turned Christmas-red, and Sylvain bit back a chuckle. “Ugh, I’m getting a new bed when my next paycheck comes, you should have been more explicit when you said I should get a bigger one when we moved in together.”

Mercedes giggled as they approached the bus stops they’d need, with the one back to the women’s apartment on the other side of the street. “We can still overrule the boy’s game if you want.”

“No, I want to get to work on my term paper right away tomorrow, see you sometime tomorrow Mercie!” Annette said as she walked across the street.

“Make sure she spends her Saturday morning doing something more…relaxing, Felix,” Mercedes said quietly.

“Yeah, Felix,” Sylvain added, giving him a shit-eating grin.

Felix grumbled and hurried after his girlfriend, joining her at the bus stop on the other side of the street.

“They’re so cute together,” Sylvain said as Annette wrapped her arm around Felix’s and waved at them.

“Indeed,” Mercedes said as she waved back, before turning at bright lights to see their bus approaching.

“Your chariot, my lady,” Sylvain said as the doors opened. Mercedes laughed softly and the two of them were able to find open seats together.

As the bus took them back, Sylvain couldn’t help but notice that Mercedes was pressing up against him far more than she usually did in public. When he looked at her with a raised eyebrow she merely gave him a look heavy with lust before resting her head on his shoulder and placing a hand on his thigh, and it took a decent amount of willpower not to shout at the driver to go faster.

When they reached their stop Sylvain shot up and pulled Mercedes up with him, which elicited a giggle. They speed walked the last block towards their apartment building and hustled into the elevator; someone else tried to join them, but at Sylvain’s glare they shifted towards the other elevator door and whistled as they looked away.

As soon as the door closed and Mercedes hit the button for their floor they threw themselves at each other, Sylvain reveling in the taste of both her and the lingering alcohol in her mouth. “Gotta say, babe,” he said between kisses as one of his hands grabbed one of her breasts, which she leaned into as she squeezed one of his pecs in response. “You’re feisty tonight.”

“Hard not to be,” Mercedes replied coyly. “I didn’t need a speech bubble over your head to notice your little word play with your song.”


Sylvain chuckled. “Did you now?”

“Everyone did,” Mercedes said. “Though they might not have if you hadn’t looked at me like you were going to bend me over the table in front of everyone right before you said it.”

“Like you’d have minded that,” Sylvain said into her ear before gently nibbling on her lobe.

“Hmm…the bar staff might have,” she replied airily.

The elevator finally dinged as it reached their floor, and they pulled themselves apart just enough so they could stumble through the open door and down the hall. Sylvain pressed Mercedes’ back against the door to his apartment while he tried to get his keys out, made harder by her love bites against the exposed parts of his neck and her knee gently rubbing against his groin. When he finally got the door open he pushed her inside, barely remembering to grab the keys and lock the door behind him.

He took a quick look around the living room: it was incredibly fancy, appropriate for the amount of money he and Felix came from. There were some homey touches to it, though, that Mercedes and Annette had both made in what was close to being a second home with all the time they spent in it. It made the place feel far less sterile than it had before they’d started dating.

Sylvain’s eyes darted to the floor-to-ceiling windows that lined the wall, and with a grin began guiding Mercedes towards it until her back was pressed against one of the windows. The city lights of Garreg Mach shone outside from their high rise, providing most of the light in the room right now, but as far as he was concerned the only lights that mattered were the ones in her lavender eyes, shining brightly even as her face was mostly in shadow.

He pressed his body against her and leaned down to take her lips into a kiss again, and she immediately forced her tongue into his mouth. As their tongues battled, he ran a hand along her stomach before pushing it underneath the waistline of her skirt and underwear, directly rubbing her clit briefly before running his hand over her slit. He could feel her obvious arousal, but she wasn’t quite as wet as he’d like her to be; something he’d be sure to fix.

Mercedes began fondling his hard-on through his jeans, but he pushed her hand away. “Nuh uh,” he said as he broke the kiss, bringing his head back just far enough to take in her face without making his head spin. “Just let me take care of you.”

“And wash away what you’ve done?” Mercedes asked before letting out a moan as Sylvain pushed one, then two fingers into her opening and rubbed his thumb on her clit. The feel of the heat of her core around his fingers made him shudder, feeling a high more comforting than any type of weed the two of them had tried.

“Something like that,” Sylvain said, fighting back the stirrings of a dark urge in the pit of his stomach. “If I make you squirt enough it could be literal too.”

Mercedes let out a soft laugh. “You know squirting is just losing control of the bladder,” she said, and Sylvain simply shook his head in disagreement even though he knew the woman who co-ran the University’s Sexual Health Advocacy Group (and he always chuckled at the name) was foolish. “Also, giving your girlfriend orgasms isn’t why you're a good person.”

“Oh, I disagree,” Sylvain said with a growl as his fingers started working harder. He brought his other hand beneath her shirt and with practiced ease unclasped her bra and yanked the shoulder straps down one after the other. He couldn’t help but chuckle as it tumbled down but got caught between the fabric of her shirt and his arm that was over her groin, at least until Mercedes grabbed it and tossed the loose article aside. The hand that had removed it immediately began massaging one of her breasts, and the pleasure from two sources turned her moans into a sweet polyphony as she leaned her chest into his hand while also grinding her cunt against his fingers. “And you disagree as well. ‘So good, Sylvain. Such a good boy, Sylvain’,” he said in an imitation of her voice.

Mercedes responded by leaving bites on his neck, and he enjoyed the small feeling of pain as he tweaked one of her nipples between his fingers. “You know,” she finally said as she pulled back and rested her head on the window, “many would say the song ends on a positive note, the singer doing the hard work in becoming a better person.”

“That’s why I’m finally in therapy, babe,” he replied as he stared at the condensation his breath had made on the window next to Mercedes’ head. “Though I don’t know why I’m bothering to spill my guts out to that shrink when being buried in your warmth makes everything go away.”

“Hmm…I don’t think it would be practical for you to carry fuck me everywhere you go,” Mercedes said, though he could feel her cunt clench around his fingers as she said it. “And probably not a healthy coping mechanism either.”

Sylvain responded by pressing both of the fingers inside her onto her g-spot and furiously assaulting it, making her cry out so sweetly. “So if this isn’t healthy, why are you letting me do this?” he challenged, staring her in the eyes.

“Because I’m selfish,” she replied with a tinge of self-reproach. “And I also roll over for people.”

That you do; for me,’ Sylvain thought, determinedly putting it into a different context than what she meant. He let the hand on breasts move down and wrap around to fondle her ass, giving her a few spanks as best he could with their angle, making her laugh. He put all his hand’s focus onto working her g-spot and clit, hoping it would discombobulate her enough to stop thinking of herself like that. “You know, that psychoanalyzer is going to get this out of me somehow, will probably suggest couple’s therapy, even though we obviously don’t have issues.”

“Dimitri and Marianne didn’t either, but it still seemed to really make them stronger,” Mercedes replied, though her voice was starting to become unfocused as the bucking of her hips against his hand became more desperate. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly, and Sylvain tried not to focus on the feeling of her breasts squished against his torso, or just how good it felt to have her so close.

Sylvain brought his lips to hers, determined not to hear anymore from her until she came around his fingers. Her whimpers and moans against her mouth started to reach a crescendo, and with one final tweak of her clit he felt her come undone, cunt squeezing his fingers hard while his hand felt her thighs tremble, and he smirked at the thought that the only thing keeping her from collapsing onto the floor was his now soaked fingers holding her up.

Mercedes rested her head against the window with a sigh, and he watched her as she evened out her breathing before opening her eyes to smile at him fondly, not just with her mouth, but her eyes, something he had never seen much of until her. Still, it looked like she had more to say on the topic, and he bit back an instinct to keep her quiet with a kiss.

“Tell you what,” he said to pre-empt her as he withdrew his hands from her cunt, sticking his fingers into his mouth and sucking on them, relishing in the sweet taste of her arousal. “Tomorrow we can make an appointment to do things your way, clean the slate, face myself, whatever, but we spend the rest of the night doing it my way.”

He grinned as Mercedes stared at the small bit of spit connecting his fingers to his mouth and nodded breathlessly. He grabbed her shirt and lifted it over her head before placing both hands on her shoulders, admiring the redness of her chest as she worked her skirt and panties off her legs. She regarded him warmly for a while as he simply stared. “I never thought I’d see you indecisive with a naked woman in front of you,” she teased.

“Just thinking of the possibilities,” he replied. “I could push you down onto your knees, or maybe turn you around and press your tits against the window while I fuck you senseless, let us look at the pretty lights together and maybe give someone else a good view.”

“Hmm…more a question of what order to do those in,” Mercedes said casually as she inspected her fingernails. “You know, there’s a particular therapy office a few miles from here that–”

“Babe,” Sylvain growled.

“Oh, goodness me,” she said with a look of fake innocence and remorse. “I completely forgot about our deal. Maybe for the moment I should do something else with my mouth.”

Sylvain grinned at her way of expressing her preference and pushed down on her shoulders, and she sank to her knees while smiling at him the whole time. Her hands immediately went to his pants and with a speed and efficiency he could barely believe briefly freed his now painfully aching cock from its sartorial prison before taking the whole thing into her mouth, yanking his jeans and boxers down to his ankles. Sylvain gripped the back of her head and began thrusting his hips to meet the bobbing of her head, doing his damndest to focus on this very moment and not the thought in the back of his head that when they woke up in his bed tomorrow morning, it’d be with the knowledge that no matter how good this all felt, it would be other, more painful things that would let him truly feel like he could give the woman beneath him the lifetime of happiness she, and maybe even he, deserved. 

 

Notes:

Hope you enjoyed! First time I've consciously based a fic around a song, and taking one dumb little Sylcedes joke on the song's lyrics I've had in my head for untold months, and finally figuring out how to make a whole fic out of it. Kudos and comments appreciated!