Chapter Text
They clung to one another for long, breathless moments, slowly coming back to their immediate reality and finding satisfaction anew in each other’s arms: a sharper awareness of and a clearer connection to each other. He kissed her softly, savoring the taste and feel of her now that he was utterly contented. She continued to stroke his back and hold him to her, not desperately as before, but still needing to feel him inside of her as long as possible. He shifted gently, barely pressing into her again, enjoying her warmth even now that the tremors had subsided for them both. She sighed from deep within, as to expel every long-buried hurt and doubt and resentment, to make a place for this new healing love.
When at last he pulled away, he turned her onto her side and faced her, holding her close, kissing her lightly, intermittently, their legs tangling, their hands roaming in gentle caresses as they pleased.
“I love you, Julia,” he whispered, smiling broadly; once he had said it, he seemed unable to stop. “So much more than I thought it was possible to love anyone. How blind and stupid I’ve been. But you--oh, Julia, how could you ever doubt that I loved you?”
She shook her head, laughing lightly; she supposed she would always have to endure these small romantic fancies of his. But it was much easier to endure, she noted, when directed at her. “Well, you’ve fairly well convinced me now,” she said, her hand meaningfully wandering between his legs, “but this was a first, Barnabas. You’ve never given me an indication without then immediately running after some little girl.”
He cringed at this, but persisted. “Even last night? Even this morning? Didn’t you really know? I did ask you to the party.”
“You ask me to go everywhere with you! It never meant anything before.” Her words were a challenge, but her voice held no trace of bitterness. It could amuse her now, how truly little he understood.
“I’ve realized finally that it did mean something, Julia. I’ve always needed you: your help, and your counsel, and your company. I didn’t know what it meant. It had always made me a little nervous, the way I felt, the little moments that sometimes passed between us. But I didn’t really have a quiet moment to consider it until lately. Now, I do know that I haven’t been able to do anything, go anywhere, without you, for a very long time.”
“You’re right about that! I’ve been to 1840 and back for you, Barnabas,” she laughed into his shoulder.
He became serious. “Don’t think I don’t know just what that means--and that you are the only woman in this world, in this time or any other, who would. And I know I don’t deserve you.”
“Hey--stop that,” she chided him gently. “I told you I don’t care what I deserve. If what I deserve isn’t you, I don’t want it.”
“You’re as hopeless as I am--thank god. Thank god you never really gave up on me.” He sought her lips again, kissing her firmly.
After long moments, she pushed him away playfully. “Enough of that for now. We’ve got to get out of bed.”
As she started to sit up, he made to pull her down next to him again. “Why must we?”
She resisted, smiling back at him. “It’s no good to start a new year this lazily.”
“Who says we have to be lazy?” He raised his eyebrows at her suggestively.
“Oh, no. Think of it this way: we get up now, we can relish the thought of coming back to bed all day.”
“And I will.”
She couldn’t hide a self-satisfied smirk at this. “I’m not done with you yet, Barnabas Collins.”
“I should hope not.” He rose to sit next to her, embracing her and nuzzling her shoulder.
“Besides, the way we left last night… I suppose we owe everyone an explanation. We might as well get that over with,” she winced slightly, picturing the awkward scene that would ensue at Collinwood.
“It’s going to be much worse for me, if that comforts you. I will certainly bear the brunt of the ‘What took you so long?’ commentary.”
“That does comfort me, yes, thank you,” she teased him. Then she searched his eyes, questioning, “So you do want to tell everyone?”
“I’m through keeping my feelings for you a secret.”
He smiled at her reassuringly; he seemed to be biting his tongue to hold back yet another guilt-ridden apology for making her wonder. She silently resolved to fight back her doubts, in turn; there was no need for them. This might be difficult for them both, she reflected; everything would not be perfect and easy; but what of value ever was?
“Oh, Barnabas,” she sighed happily, leaning her head against his shoulder. She allowed herself another few moments to enjoy the warmth of his embrace before pulling away definitely and saying, “All right. Let’s get up, and face the music.”
They began gathering their hastily scattered garments. Suddenly Barnabas laughed and said, “You know, Julia, I think facing the family might be just as hard for you, after all.”
“Why do you say that?” She stopped, shooting him a nervous look.
“You’re the one who will be returning in your party dress.”
She picked up the dress, looking at it with a bemused expression. “Well, it might save us the trouble of explaining ourselves in so many words. And for good measure, you ripped it, too. See?” She held it out to him, trying not to laugh.
“Oh, so I did,” he smiled as he approached to inspect the damage. “I apologize. But as you say, it may break the ice nicely. What an optimist you are.” He kissed her lightly, then met her gaze levelly. “I suppose you’d have to be, to go on with me for as long as you have.”
She brushed aside the hair on his forehead, meeting his gaze. “You’re worth waiting for, Barnabas. I’d wait my whole life.”
“I would think you crazy, but I know it’s the same for me. If all my trials and tragedies were necessary to bring me to you, if I had to live two hundred years to get to you, it was worth it. I would do it all again. This is the time and the place I belong. And you are the woman I belong with. I will love you forever.”
“And I you, Barnabas.” She sighed happily. “I can safely say that’s the nicest start to a new year I’ve ever had.”
“To a new life,” he added.
And, sealing it with a kiss, they embraced this new resolution, and embarked upon their new life, together.