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The door to Prisoner 007’s cell creaked open with a loud screech, something the inhabitant wasn’t unfamiliar with at this point. Admittedly, at first, he was a bit intimidated by the concept of what this prison was: A possible step forward in his life, or a few steps back until he begins stumbling like a drunk man to hell. He had already quit his job in the force, which left him a lazy amount of hours to do whatever the hell he wanted other than worry about things that seemed unnecessary as of right now. In both of the trials for the crime that he did, Kazui Mukuhara was forgiven on both accounts. Both of these judgments made him realize more bits and bits about how he can finally start improving himself. It was small the first time, but the thirty-nine year old had much to look forward to this time around.
“Prisoner Number 007, Kazui,” The young voice that belonged to the warden of the prison rang through his ears, and he gazed down at them.
“Ah, Es. It’s been a while.” Kazui’s face relaxes into a smile. His right hand rests on his hip, the other hanging as if itching to hold something like a cigarette, but he was better than to smoke in front of a child.
“Yes, it certainly has.” Es nods, staring at the other as if deep in thought. He catches on easily and calls them out for this.
“Hm? What are you giving me that look for?” The prisoner inquires, his head tilting slightly to the right like a curious child. He acknowledges himself as immature in this moment, but isn’t it a nice feeling to be free?
“Your smile; usually I was able to acknowledge it was a lying one, but you’ve seem to have become more true to yourself.” Their expression seems to soften. It was a nice realization to see their judgment has actually caused some development in someone rather than cause them to fall apart.
“Oh?” Kazui’s eyes widen, expressing curiosity in a way that a feline would gaze at its next meal. What was inside of the bowl? What did Es mean that he “became more true to himself”? He thinks about it for a few moments and then, he merely lets out a merry laugh. “How would you say I’ve stopped lying to myself?”
Es has to stop themself from saying something condescending, calling him a detective of some sorts, because the argument would’ve fallen apart unless they resorted to their usual ways. Plus, there was still that look in his eyes. From what they saw, they knew that he genuinely was trying to stop that masquerade of his. “... I saw what laid in your heart during the second extraction. And in comparison to how you were last time, you seem genuinely at peace with yourself and no longer just a facade you hide behind careful mechanisms and such.”
“Perhaps it was because you forgave me,” He mused with a hum. “You validated my feelings once again and I want to know why. Could you spare an old man your time?” Kazui asks calmly and cooly.
The warden takes another step forward. “You're sliding on thin ice, Kazui. You know that I'm the one who's supposed to be asking the questions,” They scolded, their cheeks slightly puffed out in a huff.
“Strict as always,” A part of him is relieved that Es hasn't seemed to change too much, but another is worried about that fact. “Hah, that could be something nice. At least one of us has always been their true self, not holding back at all.”’
Es shakes their head. “You discredit yourself too much. Don't you think you should at least be proud of how far you’ve come?” They let out a sigh. “That’s enough chit chat though. How is your present circumstance in MILGRAM?”
“I suppose I’d say it’s been well for me. Though, I can’t say that too much for some of the others… The poor kids seem unstable. I attempted to speak with one of them… Haruka I think. It’s hard to believe that someone like him was just a shaking, mumbling boy with how far he’s come. But - most of what he did was yell at me, scream, holler and cry at me asking why you forgave me instead of him and Muu,” He heaves out a sigh, ruffling a hand through his own hair. “It was difficult to say the least.”
“I see… I have found that my judgment has harsh consequences on the others from these past few trials. So, Haruka’s reaction feels natural based on what I know about him. I knew that once I forgave him the first time based on what I saw, he started saying he’d done nothing wrong after all and praised me saying I had saved him. His behavior began creeping me out and I couldn’t see his actions as forgivable if he said that he would do them all over again.” They click their tongue, a small tch sound coming from them.
“Though, I did take into consideration his small threat when making my decision.” Es adds on, a scowl forming on their face.
“Oh? The one where he said he’d kill himself?” Kazui chimes in, his eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly and deviating from his usual, relaxed stance.
“So you’ve heard about it.”
“Yes… Word gets around quickly when there’s so few of us,” His casual smile falters, exposing a rather concerned expression. “Even with what he said, you still did what you felt was right… That’s admirable.” It was something he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold himself up to. The one time he had prioritized what he felt was right, it ended up in his own wife’s death. The prisoner held that deep in his heart for so long until it engulfed him in his own lies. When Es called him out on it for the first time, he had to admit he was surprised. Nobody had ever seen past his façade, and yet this fifteen year old made it seem like it was a piece of cake.
“I decided to call bluff on it, assuming that those like you and Shidou would make sure he was safe.” It was a hard decision to make, but they supposed that taking the risk of passing the judgment of both Haruka and Muu as unforgiven would give them some feedback on their behavior and reevaluate the true meaning of the verdicts than just that black and white canvas of “I did nothing wrong” and “I can never be forgiven no matter what I do”. “That idiot…” The warden cursed. “The way the smile curved on his face when he proposed that ridiculous solution. It made me so pissed off. He did it just to not be seen as stupid, but if he took it seriously… There would be nothing I could do as warden to stop it.”
“You put a lot of faith in us, Es,” He commented. “With situations like those, you'd think those in charge would be more likely to handle it.”
“Of course. Even if I'm the warden, and you're the prisoners, I do not have to take care of you like children. Despite all of you being murderers, you all have hearts,” The warden crossed their arms. “And besides, he'd probably do it while I was gone if he was being serious, so I have no other choice than to trust you all.”
Kazui pauses for a moment when Es states that they all have hearts before stating his own perspective on it. “... That reminds me of something my wife once said. She always told me that I had a pure heart and always admired the person I was. Hah, feels like I’ve disappointed her in a lot of ways. I've let her down so many times just being the way I was. But, it's better to be a let down than to be let down, right? My heart was always shrouded by lies ever since I was born, and it was something I was never able to escape. Sometimes, I began wondering to myself if there was such a thing as a free spirit when mine was always trapped.” He puffs out a small sigh like how he’d smoke a cigarette; with more words that were self deprecating to make sure he’d die on the inside rather than actually die on the outside.
“From what I deduced from your second extraction and your previous interrogation, you wanted to be normal, didn’t you? But, you weren’t allowed to. That’s why you lied.”
“Pathetic, isn’t it?” Kazui asks before laughing boisterously. “I may have mentally matured, but not emotionally. I tried to get used to a way of life that wasn’t fit for me.” Then, he takes a small pause before asking a question he's been dying to have answered. “Did you finally discover my sin?” A small light seemed to flicker in the man’s gaze with hope.
Es’ eyebrows furrow as they try to think. “I would believe so. Or at the very least, I have some of the pieces together.”
“Well, fire your shot then. Show me MILGRAM’s power.”
“Your crime… You always stated it wasn’t your lies that killed her. So, if it was true, then your crime would be telling a truth she couldn’t handle. Kazui, you began having distance in your relationship with your wife because of the lies you told, and it was because of this distance you realized that you could never fit in. So, you told her something about yourself you never told anyone else. I haven’t been able to piece together what this fact is. I admit, I could only think of what I saw as something bad at first. You were shown as someone malicious, but that’s just how you think of yourself, isn’t it…? You can't get past the fact that you have lied, so you make that the most integral part of you.”
“So you have found out… For the most part. I must say, I'm impressed.” A smile faintly drags across Kazui’s obviously tired face. “It truly does show how great MILGRAM can be. But, you still have one more thing you haven't accomplished.”
“I never promised to do what you asked, but it's not like I want to see you hurting either.” Es responds flatly. “To free you from your lies, that is not something that I can do on my own.”
“Ah, fair enough. I guess I expected too much of you. I'm sorry. Then again, what warden would do the request of the prisoners? Nonetheless, one who lies?”
Es slaps him across the face, an angered expression rising. “Shut up about all of that stuff about how you're nothing but a liar! You're the type of person I dislike the most.”
“I think you seriously need to stop hitting me,” Kazui lifts a hand to his cheek, slowly processing what they said. “... And what else am I supposed to do? It's all I've been my entire life. I’ve already tried changing myself and you can see how that turned out.”
“Grow and reflect. It's a natural part of living itself. You can't be stuck forever. You said I validated you being able to let go the first time. You can let go of your wife's death, but you can't let go of the idea you're only some manipulator? Just how selfish are you?” Their eyes narrow at him.
“...” The prisoner’s expression softens, growing silent as he thinks about what they said. “I don't think I ever truly let go. You said I saw me taking off my ring as punishment for what I had done. The marriage was never a punishment to me… I genuinely cared about her as a friend, but friendliness is never enough, is it?”
“Oh…?”
“That day, I saw her standing at the edge of the balcony, contemplating the lie that her life was. I can never get that expression away from my mind. Knowing I had done that to her was too painful, but I tried to reach out to her one last time. She turned around to face me, and then she plummeted to her death. I didn't make it in time. I only rushed down and held her in my arms, screaming, sobbing. For the second time, my lies had been snuffed away and all that was left was an old pathetic guy mourning something he had caused.” Kazui sits down in the chair inside of his cell. “So, I pose one last question to you… Why would you forgive me if you knew most of my story? You have most of the evidence, but you made the conscious decision to forgive me again.”
“I forgave you because your true self needed to be given a chance. I found out your lie, the very core of who you are, and if I forgave that part of you… Perhaps, you'd be able to improve on yourself. The crime itself, you blame yourself entirely for it, though it was indirect. And yet, you don't look the least bit relieved again.” The warden paces around the room slowly.
“Hah - believe me, I am… After hearing your explanation. My true self, you say… I thought you had just gone and forgave me for a lack of evidence again. You're sharp,” A laugh erupts from his throat. “You really do care about the other prisoners, don't you? Even the ones that just seemingly piss you off. You know, you and I aren't so different after all. Both of us can put on a small show and act tough, not to say I look down on you… But I pity your situation, Es. Pity is the more correct word. I feel bad, let's say,” He holds his hands together, clasping each finger around another. “You shouldn't have to carry all your burdens. Let me carry some of yours.” A small smile forms on his face, his eyes creasing in a way that had never been seen from him before.
“You have enough of your own, Prisoner 007, do not bother trying to bargain with me.” Es dismisses him quickly, crossing their arms.
“I wasn’t trying to do anything like that!” Kazui raised his hands up, but not in a defensive manner. “I was being genuine. If I didn’t mean it, then I would only slowly be going back. I cannot be stuck in my own regret now…”
The chiming of the bell suddenly rang through their ears, causing all of the conversation to come to an abrupt stop.
“Ah, well, it seems like it’s time…” The older was the first of the two to speak up, eyes as blue as the sky he looked up to when his wife died stared into the warden’s with a small bit of sorrow. “A shame we couldn’t talk more,”
“We still can - just… For a bit.” Es blurted it out, almost like it was unintended that they said it. But, a part of them still wanted to speak to him… To find out more and reach into the real Kazui Mukuhara. If they had to admit something, it’s that they liked him more when he wasn’t trying to hide.
“Are you eager to talk about something quickly, Es?” Kazui asks, seemingly lighting up again.
“I suppose you could say that. Just… A curious question about something I noticed in your second extraction,”
“Well, go ahead. While we still have time to waste,”
“Within the song, it depicted you confessing to someone at a bar, or at least over drinks. But you also said in our last talk that you never committed an infidelity. Is there something else you’re hiding from me?”
And for a moment, the self proclaimed liar looked frightened. A sort of scared trembling ran through his system with a fear that wasn’t recognizable to Es.
“I…” He began to open his mouth, but then he promptly shut it. Then, he came up with a well thought out answer. “Yes. That is my final lie. The one I’ve always held up since I was born and I’ve carried that lie with me forever.” His tone was more cold, perhaps it was to shatter the thick air with ice or perhaps just freeze the pain his words carry.
It was then that the warden truly realized what was going on in the life of Mukuhara Kazui. He was someone who had been hiding from an unaccepting society for too long and the burden of upholding traditions was too much for him after the lie he was holding up made distance in his marriage. Then, when he came out about what he truly was, it was too much to bear for her.
“I think I fully understand your crime now, Prisoner 007, Kazui… I get this is a hard thing to ask someone, but are you gay? Is that the lie you've hidden for so long?” They raise their hand to their chin, keeping eye contact with the prisoner so that their words wouldn't falter. It was something frowned upon in Japan, considering they didn't have equal rights to everyone else, so he got into a marriage with a coworker he liked as a friend as a cover-up to make his parents happy as well.
“Yes. That's precisely it. Hate me all you want, or cast your judgement on my final lie.” Usually, he would try blowing it all off, or wasting his worries away in a bottle of liquor at a nice and quaint bar he frequented. But, he couldn't do that this time. A part of him felt extremely empty, but the other felt the same dread he did all over again. The very lie that killed the one he cherished most. Could it possibly take another life?
“That may be my job as warden, but as myself, Es… That's not what I'm supposed to do. You need to accept yourself before you could ever be able to accept what you've done. And I accept you, I'm sure the other prisoners would too. You're not alone, Kazui.”
Tears quickly began welling up in Kazui’s eyes, overflowing and putting his emotions into overdrive. He sniffled and sobbed, leaving Es rather confused. “Are… You alright?” They spoke slowly, reaching a hand out to him.
“I think I needed that,” He spoke in between more sobs. He had finally shattered, the mask he had worn for so long was in pieces and a spotlight was shown on the real version of himself. And then, a smile spread across his face despite all of the tears rolling down his face. “I kept regretting who I was all of this time, drowning myself deeper and deeper into lies while keeping myself in the know about what I shouldn't be. I truly didn't want someone to suffer other than myself because of it. But, I think finally hearing someone accept the real me, it's causing me to slightly break down,” He shoves a hand up to his face as if to cover it.
“I guess I'm glad I could help at least someone…” They trailed off, patting him on the back lightly.
Es thought for a bit and decided to bring back up one more past conversation before the extraction. “Kazui, you know how I had talked about Kant? The one who said to always tell the truth no matter what?”
“Yeah? I think we established he wasn't exactly the best philosopher around because of certain loopholes in his argument…”
“Well, I did some more research, and there's another philosopher I want to note: Aristotle. He says that lying for enjoyment or money is wrong, but lying for reputation and prosperity is alright. So, in his mind, you would be okay. You lied to keep a reputation you thought you would have lost otherwise.”
“... Thank you, Es. Really. Thank for accepting this old man and all of his lies. Alright, now it's time for your final judgment, right? Judge me, and everything I've done, MILGRAM.”
“Prisoner Number 007, Kazui, sing your sins!”