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Remus’s face screwed in concentration as he bared his teeth and reached forward. The glass of water was just out of reach, and no matter how far he stretched, he still came up short. Ordinarily he would use an accio spell, but he had left his wand in the bedroom and if he couldn’t reach a glass right in front of him, he certainly couldn’t walk all the way back to the bedroom to grab his wand. He had been attempting to grab the glass for going on a few minutes now, and he wasn’t sure how much his body could take before it gave up.
He managed to wedge his shoulder against the corner of the couch and pushed just enough to tip himself forward. A smile grew on his face as his fingers brushed the glass, but a second too late as his wrist gave a violent spasm and knocked it right over. Water spilled across the table and began to drip onto the floor. Remus swore sharply as suddenly he tipped the rest of the way over until the world became a blur and he hit the ground hard. He hissed in pain as he held his arms to his chest as he rolled onto his back, panting hard as his muscles roared in protest.
“S-Sirius,” Remus rasped in alarm. His voice hardly carried any strength to it, and tears burned in his eyes when he couldn’t speak above a whisper. “Sirius!”
As if thinking alone could summon him, Remus heard the toilet flush along with the sound of the sink spraying water. He breathed in relief as Sirius emerged from the loo, only to instantly fell horrible as Sirius gasped and rushed to his side, immediately dropping to the floor beside him, shaky hands hovering the length over his body.
“Remus, what happened?!”
Remus closed his eyes tightly. “Tried to reach the water.” Remus’s wrist flopped to the side to motion to the wet spot on the carpet. “Fell over.”
“Why didn’t you just wait for me? I told you I’d be right out,” admonished Sirius as he reached down to rest his palm under Remus’s head and held it still as he helped lift Remus’s limp upper half.
“Thought I could do it myself.” Remus coughed harshly to clear his itchy throat. “M’tired of asking you for things.”
“Rem, that’s why I’m here, to help you. That last moon did a number on you. Don’t you remember what the healers at St. Mungos said?”
How could Remus forget? He had spent the last moon there and had been told once he woke up that his body was no longer handling the transformations as they once had. Arthritis riddled his joints along with fierce tremors that made walking now a chore. They were hesitant to diagnose him with anything due to his lycanthropy, but Remus had heard the whispers of MS due to the diagnostic spells they had preformed. Remus had refused further testing, not wanting another diagnosis attached to his name, not now. There would be plenty of time later once things progressed, though right now he didn’t want himself or Sirius worried about the what ifs.
“You with me?”
Sirius’s voice snapped Remus out of his own head as he realized that he was sitting straight up in Sirius’s grasp. His hands were stuck in almost claw-like fashion while his arms shook with tremors. No matter how hard Remus tried to fight it, his muscles had other ideas. It was beyond painful and all Remus could do was sob as he leaned his head against Sirius’s chest, beginning for relief.
Sirius was at a loss as he held Remus in his arms. He kissed the side of his head, holding him close as his muscular spasms took over his body. Will and frantic movements pulsated through Remus’s body, fingers sprawling and arms completely rigid against his attempt to hold himself still. His ability to talk was taken over as well, so that any sound he tried to make came out as a wayward grunt. Saliva began to drip from his lower lip as he could no longer hold his mouth closed on his own, eyes rolling into the back of his head as the fit continued.
“Fuck!” Sirius twisted with Remus’s full weight on him and pulled him over to the couch and propped the werewolf up. Only when he was sure that Remus wasn’t about to fall over did he jump to his feet and race into the kitchen. The cupboard over the corner of the counter was immediately flung open. Sirius pushed numerous potions around and back until he found the dark green potion he was looking for. The second his fingers enclosed over the vial, he yanked it free and headed back to the living room.
Remus was still struggling with his spasms, which had now traveled down his legs. He was practically bouncing off the floor with how severe the tremors became. His eyes were listless as his breathing turned more labored, harsh puffs that left his gritted teeth as saliva continue to pool from behind his teeth and drip from his bottom lip onto his jumper. His hands had started to curl into fists, unable to even straighten one finger.
Sirius dropped back down and turned Remus’s face toward him by his chin. “Okay, alright, you need to listen to me, love. I need you to drink this. It’s your muscle relaxing potion, remember? You’re supposed to take this before it gets that bad.”
Despite the vacant quality of his gaze, Remus managed to blink twice; their signal for yes. Sirius cracked a smile that Remus was still with him somewhere and tipped his chin upwards as he used his other hand to tip the vial into his mouth. Remus’s body instantly fought back to swallow, the liquid bubbling from his lips as his mouth clamped close so not to allow anymore vile liquid into his mouth.
“I know it tastes something awful, but you have to take all of it.” Sirius reached for Remus’s throat and started to massage it lightly. Ordinarily he would fell horrible for doing this, but he and Remus had talked extensively about what Sirius was meant to do when Remus couldn’t do things for himself. Sometimes there were potions that he just had to take, and it often came down to Sirius to make sure that happened.
Remus fought him until his throat gave a sudden bob. His mouth grew slack as he opened wide for the remainder of the potion. Sirius didn’t hesitate to tip the rest in and helped Remus close his mouth as a trickle of the potion rolled from the corner of his mouth.
“That’s my Moony,” Sirius whispered as he used his thumb to wick away the trickle, saving Remus’s dignity as much as possible.
Remus gasped harshly as his body finally began to still. First his legs ground to a halt, then his arms slowly began to loosen. Fists turned back into the weak claw position before finally growing still against his legs. The haze in front of his vision began to ebb away, and when Remus was finally ready, he opened his mouth to speak.
No words came out, much to Remus’s distain. He wrinkled his nose in frustration, left hand coming up to strike lightly against his thigh as if that would prompt his vocal cords to work.
“Ah, ah, that’s not going to help,” Sirius chided, relief sounding in his tone that Remus was at least now somewhat responsive. “Do you want to do the blinking thing? For yes or no?”
Remus blinked twice with much effort, eyes stretched wide to enunciate his response.
Sirius rubbed Remus’s shoulder. “Okay, that works. Are you hurting?”
Remus blinked once.
“Do you want to try those braces?”
Remus blinked once, hard. He then glared at Sirius, his top lip curling in the beginning of a snarl. Part of Sirius wanted to burst out laughing at just how sincere Remus was on that one, but he decided against it not to make the other man anymore frustrated than he already was.
“Got that one loud and clear. Do you want back on the couch?”
Remus blinked twice.
Sirius jumped right into action and rose to his feet before bending over Remus. He wrapped his arms under Remus’s armpits and counted to three softly before arching his back and lifting Remus at the same time. Although he was a skinny bugger, dead weight was weight. Sirius struggled not to groan as he set Remus back on the couch, back scooted all the way to the corner of the couch as he went to lift Remus’s legs and stretched them out. Sirius patted Remus’s knee as he fought for his own breath, his own muscles screaming in protest.
Just when Sirius was about to relax, Remus began blinking frantically. They were long blinks, his eyes closed for a short while, before opening again. He stared at Sirius when he did this, bottom lip quivering as he still couldn’t force any words out.
“What else do you need? Do you need a blanket or pillow?”
One blink.
“Are you in pain?” Sirius knew he had just asked that, but seeing Remus dealing with those spasms made him think that he had to be in pain.
Still, Remus blinked once.
Sirius racked his brain for what Remus had wanted. How did this whole thing start in the first place? Sirius had been in the bathroom and then he had come running when…… It finally dawned on him.
“Do you want water?”
Two blinks, a pause, and then two more blinks. The relief on Remus’s face was noticeable, a smile showing on his face that Sirius had got him.
“One drink on the way.” Sirius rose to his feet and walked around the couch to the kitchen to grab Remus a drink of water as his other glass had been knocked over.
Remus relaxed against the edge of the couch, body feeling as though it had been kicked around and broken apart. It was nothing like a full moon transformations, that was for certain, though the tremors weren’t exactly a walk in the park either. He had potions that often prevented things from getting this bad, as well as using braces for his ankles and wrists, and even a cane that he used on long walks. All of those things prevented the state that Remus was in now, though there was something about admitting that he needed them that didn’t sit right. While this wasn’t fun in the least, he still felt he was somewhat in control instead of being tethered to other methods to keep his body in line.
Sirius returned a few moments later with a water bottle with a straw. They had learned early on that Remus may not be able to always lift a glass to his lips to drink, but sipping through a straw was much easier. Remus’s head tipped to the side as Sirius held the water to him, and he sipped as much as he wanted before pulling back and ignoring Sirius’s attempt to give him more. Sirius got the hint and set the glass on the coffee table. He picked up the one that had spilled and set it aside for later. A little water on the carpet was the least of his worries.
“Are we going to talk about how it got this bad,” Sirius questioned as he sat down on the couch beside Remus. He lifted the werewolf’s legs and rested them back on his lap, hands working to massage the tight calves as Remus sighed in relief. Sirius knew exactly how much pressure to use and where.
Remus blinked once.
“Rem,” Sirius began sternly. “We’re going to have to talk about this at some point. We have so many things that can prevent things from becoming this taxing on you. We are stocked on all the potions you could possibly need. All you have to do is tell me before this happens.”
Deep down Remus knew that Sirius was right. He couldn’t fault the other man for reacting this way. He had always taken everything about Remus in stride, from the transformations, to the illness that followed. Sirius hadn’t blinked once, and Remus took everything that Sirius said to heart. He knew where Sirius was coming from, agreed with him even. However actually going through with it and admitting that he was struggling was a whole different story.
Sirius noticed Remus shutting down, both physically and mentally. He sighed as he grasped Remus’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Remus’s head lifted at the squeeze and noted the worry in Sirius’s gaze almost immediately. His stomach twisted thinking that look Sirius had was because of him.
“I love you and hate to see you suffer,” Sirius whispered.
Remus nodded his head weakly until his chin rested on his chest. He longed to have an actual conversation with Sirius, to explain everything away. However, his body wouldn’t allow it as the blinking was even too hard to do anymore. All he wanted was to sleep.
Sirius released Remus’s hand when he saw Remus’s head hang as he began to breathe softly through his nose. His chest rose and fell slowly, body limp for the first time since Remus had woken that morning. The tightness had finally ebbed thanks to the potion, though he may have never gotten that far if he had agreed to take it earlier. However, none of that mattered now as Remus finally appeared at peace.
“Sleep well, my love,” Sirius whispered. “I’ll be right beside you when you wake up.”