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Jane let herself into Maura's and dropped Joe Friday while calling for the house's occupant.
"Bedroom," Maura answered, and Jane headed in that direction.
She saw the open closet doors and groaned. "I came late on purpose and you still aren't ready?"
"I'm not sure what to wear."
"Something that you won't be upset about if it ends up covered in condiments or beer."
"Why would I have those things on my clothing?"
"Things get rowdy. Last year, I had to threaten to arrest two of my aunts."
"I thought we're going to a barbecue."
"We are. Like I said, things get rowdy."
"How's this?" Maura walked out of the closet in jeans and a navy t-shirt with gold stars scattered on it.
"Nice. Is it new?"
"Yes."
"You might want to wear something you'll get to wear again."
"I'm sure it will be fine, Jane." Maura closed her closet doors with one hand. In the other, she had a pair of flats.
"You need sneakers."
"Why?"
"Horseshoes, volleyball, bocce, maybe touch football or basketball."
"Not necessary, barefoot will be fine, I doubt I'll get a chance, not happening, and you cheat, so again, not happening." Maura replied. She sat on the foot of her bed and slipped her shoes on.
"I don't cheat. I'm just taller than you."
"I checked the rule book, and your use of your elbows constitutes a foul." Maura stood up. "I'll be happy to cheer you on," she added, smiling.
"Oh, that'll go over well," Jane muttered.
"I'm sure Frankie will happy to let me cheer for him."
"Nope, you're cheering for me or no one. C'mon, Ma's gonna yell if we're any later."
"I'll get my medical bag, you get the big bowl in the refrigerator."
"What'd you make?"
"Macaroni salad, as your mother requested. What are you taking?"
"You, and a large portion of Boston's bread supply," Jane raised her voice so Maura could hear.
They met at the door, where Joe Friday sat politely. Jane looked down at her. "Are you sure you don't wanna stay here and aggravate the turtle?"
Joe barked, and Jane shrugged and opened the door. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
"Have you warned me?" Maura asked.
"You've met my immediate family. The rest of the family's just like them. Neighbors, too." Jane opened the trunk and the cooler in it, and put Maura's bowl inside, pushing aside two bottles of wine and some beers to make space.
The three of them got in the car and set off. "Just a few things we need to go over."
"I have an excellent memory," Maura protested.
"Yeah, I know," Jane replied with an eye roll. "Humor me."
"Fine."
"Do not, under any circumstances, say anything nice about Carla Tallucci's baked beans in Ma's hearing. Watch out for Uncle Manny. He's got a wandering eye and his hands tend to follow after a few beers. Most of the cousins are ok, but watch out for Jackie. And I know this one's asking a lot, but try to keep your answers short and concise, sorta like court without the big words."
"Anything else I should know?"
"Most of the guys there are gonna hit on you. Probably more than once. If they get outta hand, let me know and I'll take care of it."
"I don't need you to defend my honor."
Jane chuckled. "You say that now. After the fourth time your ass gets pinched, you'll be singin' a different tune."
"No one is going to pinch my posterior."
"You're kidding, right? Your ass is perfect, and every guy there is gonna try to cop a feel."
"Perfect?"
"You're missing the point, Maura."
"What's the point?"
"I should just let you find out on your own," Jane teased. "But that's like throwing a lamb to wolves. Just let me know if any of them get too much outta hand."
"What's too much?"
"Trust me you'll know."
"Anything else I should know?" Maura asked.
"Um," Jane ran through her mental checklist before answering. "I think that's it."
They talked about other things for the rest of the ride, and Jane parked across the driveway entrance, waving off Maura's protest. Instead, Jane opened the rear passenger door, then Maura's door, and before Maura asked how she could help, filled Maura's arms with bags of rolls. She scooped up even more and closed the car door with her foot.
Maura followed Jane around the house to the back yard. The noise got louder as they got closer, and when they turned the corner, Maura got her first glimpse of the source of the racket.
There were dozens of people in the Rizzoli yard, spilling into those on either side, all talking animatedly, gesturing in accompaniment to loud – not raised; Maura had learned the difference – voices. Jane ignored all of them and ushered Maura toward Frank, standing at the grill. She put the bags on the table beside him. "Hi, Pop," she greeted, and kissed his cheek.
"Hi, sweetheart. Your mother's been looking for you. Hello, Maura."
"I bet," she answered. "Where's Frankie? There's still a buncha stuff in the car."
"Ange put him to work in the kitchen."
Jane laughed, and Frank chuckled with her. "Much as I'd love to see that, we're gonna empty the car first."
"All right," he answered, and turned back to the grill.
Maura followed Jane back to the car, and they brought another pile of rolls. They were on their way back for a few more bags and the cooler when Angela spotted them. "Jane!"
"Be right back, Ma," she called, and began muttering. "Once, just once, I'd like to not be shanghaied as soon as I walk in the door."
"Shanghaied refers to an unethical ruse used to recruit unwilling sailors," Maura began.
"My mother doesn't believe in ruses. She uses guilt and strong arm tactics that would make a mob enforcer cry."
Maura laughed at Jane's exaggeration.
"Yuk it up, Maura. She considers you one of us, so you'll be put to work, too." Jane opened the trunk and hefted the cooler to the ground.
"I'm happy to help." Maura closed the trunk once Jane stepped away.
"Of course you are, and you can start by grabbing a handle."
Maura smiled and lowered herself, letting her legs do the lifting. "Ready when you are."
Angela grabbed Jane as they lowered the cooler to the ground, and Maura was left on her own. She looked uncertainly across the crowd and recalled Jane's instructions. The kitchen seemed like a good idea.
Except they weren't there. The kitchen was tidy, but empty. They weren't in the living room, either, where several men, including Frankie, watched baseball.
Maura went upstairs, and heard Angela's exasperated sigh. "For god's sake, Jane, just take them."
"I don't want them."
"Why are you being so stubborn about this?"
"Why are you? Why can't you let me live my life on my own schedule?"
"I didn't say you had to ask her today. I want you to have them for when you're ready. It's what your great-grandmother wanted," Angela added, hoping that the mention of one of Jane's favorite relatives would make her more inclined to accept.
"Why do you assume I'll ever be ready?" Jane demanded.
Angela laughed. "Everybody sees how you look at her, Janey." Angela smiled and smoothed Jane's hair. "Maura's the one."
Jane ducked her head with a sigh and held out her hand. She knew Maura was the one, but she was nowhere near ready to make such a public commitment. "Don't call me Janey," she snapped reflexively.
Maura took advantage of the break in conversation to move into the room. "There you are," she smiled at Jane, who closed her hand around something.
"Sorry," Jane apologized while pushing the small fabric bag into her pocket. "Ma wanted something."
"So I see. I must admit I was surprised to find the kitchen empty."
"I should finish cutting up the watermelon," Angela said, and left Maura and Jane alone.
"How much did you hear?"
"A bit."
Jane pulled the bag out of her pocket with a sigh. She loosened the drawstring and poured the contents into her hand.
It was a wedding set: two gold bands and a diamond solitaire.
"Your great-grandparents'?" Maura verified.
"Yeah."
"Your mother believes we should marry."
"She only wants grandchildren," Jane sighed.
"She wants you to be happy," Maura corrected gently. "May I?"
Jane nodded, and Maura picked up the rings. She examined each for a few seconds, before returning them to Jane. "Lovely."
Jane wondered whether her relief that Maura didn’t try on any of the rings showed on her face. She returned the rings to the small bag and put it deep in her pocket. “Ma’s gonna think we’re up here setting a date,” Jane said jokingly and tried to leave the room.
Maura stopped her. “There’s no hurry, Jane,” she said quietly, and tiptoed to kiss Jane quickly. “I’ll say yes,” she added, and found Jane’s hand.
They returned to the kitchen, where Angela was cutting watermelon. She directed them to bowls that needed to go out on the picnic table.
Maura was correct that she wouldn’t get to play bocci, but Jane pulled her into a volleyball game. After her first serve, Jane asked, “Is there anything you didn’t learn in boarding school?”
“Many things,” Maura answered, and gave Jane a small push toward the net where her height would give them an advantage.
It should have been an advantage, and would have worked in their favor if Jane hadn’t been distracted by Maura’s yelp when her ass was pinched. Jane heard a slap just before she received a spiked volleyball to the face courtesy of Giovanni Gilberti.
She put her hand to her nose and felt blood. “Goddamnit!”
Maura was at her side a moment later. “Jane, are you alright?”
“Who pinched you?”
“That’s not important. Let me see.” She gently pulled Jane’s hand aside, then let it go. “Let’s go get you fixed up.”
“Who pinched you?” Jane repeated impatiently.
“I slapped him. He won’t do it again.” Maura steered Jane through the crowd toward the house.
Maura sat Jane in a kitchen chair and snagged a towel. “Let me see,” Maura said. Jane removed her hands. The bleeding was slow, but Jane’s nose was obviously broken again.
“I’m going to set your nose,” Maura warned her, grabbed it, and put it back in place before Jane could protest.
“Ow, damn it, that hurt.”
“Sorry,” Maura said, and got an ice pack from the freezer door. She got out another kitchen towel and wrapped the ice pack in it before placing it on Jane’s face. “I’m going to get you a beer. Don’t move.”
Jane growled unhappily but stayed in place. She heard the screen door open and close, then open and close again.
“Janey, I didn’t know that was your girl,” her uncle Manny said.
“It shouldn’t matter. You’re too old to be grabbing every ass you see. One day, you’re gonna get hurt. You’re lucky Maura didn’t deck you.”
“She did. If I had my own teeth, I’d be counting to make sure they’re all still there.”
“Good for her.”
“Here you go,” Maura said, and put a beer in Jane’s hand.
“Maura, this is my uncle Manny. Uncle Manny, this is Dr. Maura Isles.”
“A doctor? I bet Angie loves that.”
“Yeah, yeah, nice to see you, too.”
“You take good care of Janey,” he smiled at Maura.
“I do my best,” she answered and backed away when he moved closer.
“I think Pop’s callin’ you,” Jane said, and pointed toward the door.
He took the hint and left them alone in the kitchen. Maura looked at the clock. “Just a few more minutes and you can take the ice pack off. Giovanni wants to apologize.”
Angela came into the kitchen. “Just once, I’d like to have a family gathering that doesn’t involve bloodshed.”
“It was Uncle Manny’s fault. He pinched Maura.”
“He’s too damn old for that foolishness.”
“Maura slapped him,” Jane reported with a note of pride. “Uncle Manny said he’d be counting his teeth if he had any left.”
“Oh, for the love of pete. How long until you can carry the salads out?”
“We’ll bring them out as soon as Jane can safely remove the ice pack, Angela.”
“Thank you, Maura. You should probably stay away from Jackie, too. He’s pretty tanked.”
“Which one is he again?”
“I’ll hear him comin’,” Jane answered. “Don’t worry about him.”
Angela picked up one of the bowls of salad and left the kitchen.
“I’ll be right back,” Maura said, and picked up another bowl of salad and followed Angela outside. She returned and made the trip again. When she returned this time, she took the ice pack from Jane’s face. “You’ll need it again in a while.”
“I know,” Jane sighed. “Thanks for fixing my nose.”
“You’re welcome.”
“We can leave if you want.”
“Jane, I’m fine. One pinch isn’t going to hurt me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Come on, I’m hungry.”
They returned to the back yard and filled their plates. Maura got two more beers from a cooler and followed Jane to an empty picnic table.
Giovanni approached cautiously. “Hey, Jane, I’m sorry, I thought you had it.”
“Not your fault this time, G.”
“Rematch?”
“No,” Maura answered for her. “I just set Jane’s nose and I’d like it to stay where it belongs.”
Giovanni grinned at Jane and made the sound of a cracking whip. Jane shoved the rest of her hotdog in her mouth and flipped him the bird. He laughed, but left them.
Jane heard her cousin Jackie approaching and got up. “Don’t even think about it.”
“I heard about your hot girlfriend, Janey. Aren’t’cha gonna introduce us?”
“No, and if you get any closer, I’ll cuff you to the rain gutters again.”
“Wow, she must be somethin’ special. You haven’t done that since you were a rookie.”
“Goodbye, cuz.”
He leaned to the side to get a look at Maura and gave Jane a wink and two thumbs up. She rolled her eyes and pointed toward the house. Maura watched the interaction, unable to keep her amusement from showing. She leaned close and kissed Jane’s cheek. “Your protectiveness is an excellent quality in a mate.”
“You are not allowed to talk to my mother any more today.”
Maura laughed and drank from her beer bottle. When she put it down, she said, “The baked beans are delicious.”
Jane pointed across the yard. “That’s Carla Talluci, Ma’s best friend slash enemy depending on the day. She makes ‘em, and they are delicious, unless Ma’s around.”
While they finished eating, Jane identified others to Maura and provided a quick and usually humorous anecdote. When they were done, Maura ushered Jane back to the kitchen for another round with the ice pack. This time, she stayed with her. Joe Friday found her way into the kitchen and hopped onto Jane’s lap.
Jane put the dog on the floor. “Joe, you know Ma will flip if she sees you too close to the table. Go beg a hamburger from Pop or something.”
The dog ignored the instruction and curled up between Jane’s feet.
“She had at least one hamburger and one hot dog, and I suspect more than that,” Maura said.
“How much longer?”
“Ten minutes.”
“Wanna head out?”
“Only if you do.”
“You’re really enjoyin’ this?”
“I am. Your family is lovely, even the grabby ones.”
“You don’t have to say that, Maura.”
“Jane, you know I can’t lie. I like your family. Everyone says exactly what they mean.”
“In about two hours, that will lead to a huge argument, which may or may not lead to a fight.”
“Maybe we’ll let Frankie be the one to threaten your relatives with arrest.”
“Works for me. We can go back to your place.”
“Do you want to live there?”
“Huh?”
“We can find a place together if you prefer.”
“What brought that… Never mind, we’ll talk about it later, when there aren’t people eavesdropping.”
“I’m not eavesdropping,” Frankie protested. “I’m on my way to get a beer. Want one?”
“No, I’m good.”
“You oughta think about moving into Maura’s. I’ll take over your lease.”
“Marissa still thinks you’re a creeper, Frankie.”
“So? I won’t be there much. And you could put in a good word for me.”
“Stop.” If she wasn’t holding an ice pack on her nose, Jane would be massaging her temples. “Stop talking to Ma about my business.”
“I don’t have to talk to Ma, Janey. I have eyes.”
“Frankie, if I wanted to talk to you about this, which I don’t, I sure as hell wouldn’t do it with Maura standing right here AND I’d talk to her first. Get your beer and get out.”
“Touchy,” he said with a smirk, but did what she asked.
“Now we have to stay,” Jane complained to Maura.
“Why?”
“Cause Frankie can’t keep his mouth shut and everybody’s gonna think we left because I can’t keep it in my pants.” She lowered her head despite the ice pack, yelped at the pressure and put her head back. Maura pushed Jane’s hair off her face.
“So?”
“I don’t want to listen to Ma later.”
“Jane, your mother is all bark. You know that.”
“To you.”
“Do you want to stay?”
“Not really.”
“Then as your physician, I recommend you go home and rest. While rare, there can be serious complications from a nasal fracture.”
“Not bad.” Jane gave Maura a thumbs up. They continued to work on improving Maura’s ability to lie.
Maura’s watch beeped while she beamed at the compliment. She took the ice pack from Jane’s face and returned it to the freezer. “Let’s say our goodbyes.”
Jane caught her before Maura reached the back door and turned her so they were face to face. “You’d really say yes?”
Maura smiled. “To nearly anything you ask.”
Jane ignored her nose and leaned down to kiss Maura. Quickly, because they were still in her mother’s kitchen, surrounded by people who thought they had the right to comment on her life. When she finished, she pushed the door open for Maura. “C’mon, Joe.”
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