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Appetite for Self Destruction

Chapter 15

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

No matter what he said or did, no one would let Daniel backstage and near Johnny. The crowd was quiet as the band carried Johnny away, but it hadn’t taken long for the DJ to put a record on, and they quickly forgot about the scenes on stage. 

 

Daniel pushed frantically through the crowd, Jessica holding tightly onto his hand so as not to lose him. They were soon in the street. Daniel looked up and down the sidewalk before taking off down the side alley. Moments later, they heard the sound of a siren. 

 

‘An ambulance,’ Jessica breathed. The ambulance was pulling up at the club. 

 

They ran toward the ambulance, hopeful to see a sign of Johnny. A crowd formed in the street, and security kept people away. The ambulance crew were in the building, but Jessica and Daniel couldn't get close. 

 

There was movement at the door, and Daniel saw Bobby. His face had a deep frown of concern. Then Daniel saw Johnny. He was awake but being assisted by an EMT. 

 

‘Johnny!’ Daniel called, but the sound of the street and the crowd drowned out his voice. Johnny didn’t so much as look up.

 

‘Daniel. Come on!’ 

 

Jessica was gesturing towards the line of cabs. Daniel ran towards her and they jumped into a cab as the ambulance began to pull away.

 

‘Follow the ambulance,’ Jessica said to the driver. 

 

*****************

 

Daniel burst into the waiting room, Jessica on his heels. He skidded on the shiny hospital floor, almost going head-first into the rest of the band, who were pacing anxiously. They all looked grim-faced, and Daniel’s stomach dropped.

 

‘How is he? I saw him fall! What’s wrong with him? Has anyone seen him?’ Daniel rattled off questions helplessly, his voice panicked.

 

Bobby shook his head. ‘They just took him in, but no one has come out yet.’ He chewed his nail anxiously and went back to pacing.

 

‘What happened?’ Daniel asked. 

 

Bobby shrugged, his face stressed. ‘He wasn’t right when he turned up tonight, and then he just went down. He just kept saying sorry, but no one could get a straight word out of him. That’s when we called the ambulance.’

 

Daniel sat heavily on the plastic chair, and Jessica sat with him, clutching his hand.

 

‘I’m sure he’ll be fine,’ Jessica said, trying to soothe him.

 

Daniel shook his head and let his head drop into his hands. How could she know? How could anyone know? Johnny has passed out on stage. He could have a head injury. Anything could be happening back there! Why had no one come to update them?!

 

‘Where is he?!’

 

Daniel looked up at the sharp voice. Kreese!

 

‘What the fuck happened?’ Kreese was barking at the rest of the Cobras. Daniel watched them flinch away from his voice. Daniel stood, and Kreese looked around at him. His eyes narrowed. ‘Who let the groupie in?’

 

‘I’m worried about Johnny.’ Daniel snapped. ‘Just like you should be, asshole!’

 

With an angry growl, Kreese launched himself at Daniel. Daniel had no time to respond before hands were shoving him against the wall. Kreese grasped Daniel’s t-shirt, almost taking him off his feet, slamming his head against the wall. Everyone began to pry Kreese from Daniel, but he managed to slam Daniel’s head against the wall a second time before he was dragged away.

 

‘What is going on out here?!’ A nurse stood at the door, looking at them all with anger. ‘This is a hospital!’

 

Jessica was at Daniel's side as Daniel held his aching head. A quick check confirmed that, thankfully, there was no blood. 

 

After a pause and another angry glance at the group, she looked at her file. ‘Who brought John Lawrence in?’

 

‘We did.’ Bobby stepped forward. 

 

The woman looked at him and the rest of the group suspiciously, narrowing her eyes. Daniel smiled, trying to look as innocent as possible, trying to let her know that he hadn’t started the fight. She frowned at him.

 

‘How is he?’ Tommy finally spoke up for the group.

 

With a small huff, her unhappiness with them clear, she returned to her file. ‘Johnny’s not in any danger, but we’re keeping him in overnight. He’s dehydrated and clearly exhausted. He’s got a lot of drugs in his system…..’

 

‘Drugs?’ Daniel said with confusion. ‘What kind of drugs?’

 

‘Cocaine. He didn’t overdose, but we’re monitoring it. His bodyweight’s low.’ The woman continued.

 

‘Shit,’ Bobby muttered darkly. ‘I knew something wasn’t right! I should have said something!’ 

 

‘Weight?’ Daniel said, looking at Bobby and back to the nurse. ‘What’s wrong with his weight?’

 

‘Who are you?’ The woman asked sharply. 

 

Daniel stepped forward. ‘Daniel LaRusso. I’m his boyfriend.’

 

‘Jesus.’

 

Daniel turned and glared at Kreese, whose face was filled with disgust. ‘Yeah! I’m his boyfriend!’ Daniel was shaking with anger but controlled it. He knew another fight would get them thrown out. 

 

‘Mr LaRusso, your boyfriend is underweight,’ the woman said, her voice gentler than before. ‘He’s damaged his throat, we think he’s been making himself vomit. We’re encouraging him not to speak until an ENT specialist can see him.’

 

‘Fuck!’ Kreese barked, making the group jump and turn to him. ‘Stupid boy!’ Kreese growled. 

 

‘Hey, screw you, man!’ Daniel shouted. ‘Don’t you give a shit about him at all?’

 

Kreese was on him again, this time swinging at him. Daniel ducked, but Kreese’s fist caught the side of his head. Daniel went down as Kreese was restrained, this time by the Cobra’s and a passing security guard. 

 

‘Get off me!’ Kreese barked as he pushed them away. Kreese glared. Johnny’s bandmates glared back, and Jessica held Daniel. There was a tense beat before Kreese straightened himself out. ‘ Fine. I’m done with you all. Let’s see how far your little band gets without me.’ 

 

Kreese turned and stalked away. No one went after him. 

 

Daniel turned towards the nurse. ‘Can we see him?’ he asked anxiously.

 

The woman looked suspiciously at the group. She finally sighed, and her face softened. ‘He can have one visitor,’ she said.

 

The boys all looked at each other. ‘You go,’ Bobby finally said to Daniel.

 

‘Really?’ Daniel replied. He held his hands up. ‘No, no, you’ve known him longer than me.’

 

Bobby smiled at him, his eyes still anxious. ‘Go see him, Daniel. We’ll be here waiting.’

 

‘Thank you,’ Daniel said gratefully. 

 

The nurse walked away, and Daniel followed quickly, trying to keep up. His heart was in his throat. Was Johnny OK? The nurse had said he was underweight, making himself vomit. How could Johnny be underweight? Daniel stopped mid-stride. It dawned on him. He had never seen Johnny eat a bite. He always made excuses not to. He had eaten earlier. He wasn’t hungry. Daniel had never seen Johnny eat a thing

 

Johnny was skinny, but so was Daniel. Daniel had never really thought about it. How had Daniel not noticed? How could he have put his hands on Johnny so many times and not wondered about the hard edges and ribs under his hands? Daniel knew why. Because he was so busy thinking with his dick that he hadn’t noticed. He felt awful. What kind of boyfriend was he? Johnny was in the hospital because Daniel hadn’t noticed the apparent fucking fact that Johnny didn’t eat! He was taking cocaine! What else had been going on that Daniel had failed to notice?!

 

Suddenly, Daniel didn’t want to see Johnny. Didn’t want to see him lying in a hospital bed because Daniel had taken so little notice of what was really happening in front of his eyes. He should have let Bobby or one of the others in. Maybe Johnny wouldn’t want to see Daniel at all! 

 

‘Honey.’ The nurse was in front of him, looking at him with concern. ‘Are you OK?’

 

‘Should I have known?’ Daniel blurt out. ‘He wasn’t eating, and I didn’t even notice! How could I not have known?’ His eyes filled with tears. 

 

‘Hey, hey.’ The woman put a gentle hand on his shoulder. ‘In my experience, people are very good at hiding these things. It’s not your fault.’ 

 

Daniel nodded sadly. ‘How is he? Is he going to be OK? Really?’

 

‘He’s going to be fine. For now, he needs rest.’ She smiled. ‘After that, we’ll get him some help. He’s going to need the people who love him.’

 

Daniel smiled tearily. ‘I do love him.’

 

‘I’m sure he knows, but remind him anyway.’ She smiled again, and Daniel followed her down the corridor. They stopped outside a room, the door closed. Daniel swallowed. He was nervous. He took one more hesitant look at the nurse before pushing the door open.

 

Johnny was lying in the hospital bed. He had an IV in one wrist, and the monitor on his finger was taking his oxygen. He opened his eyes and turned towards Daniel.

 

‘Hey.’ Daniel moved towards the bed. He took Johnny’s hand. ‘You had us all worried,’ Daniel said softly, rubbing his thumb across Johnny’s knuckles. 

 

‘I’m sorry.’ Johnny’s voice was weak, almost a whisper. His skin was pale, nearly white, and only then did Daniel see just how thin and exhausted Johnny looked. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before.

 

‘No, I’m sorry.’ Daniel brought Johnny’s hand to his lips and kissed it. ‘I didn’t notice anything was wrong,’ he said. ‘They said you haven’t been eating.’ 

 

Johnny turned his head away. ‘I screwed everything up.’ 

 

‘No, you didn’t.’

 

‘Nothing was ever good enough.’ Johnny turned back towards him, his eyes so sad they almost broke Daniels’ heart. ‘Are the others out there? Bobby, Tommy…’

 

‘They’re all here. They’re worried about you,’ Daniel said. He kissed Johnny’s hand, and Johnny just watched him, his eyes red with tears. 

 

‘I tried, Daniel. I really did…’ Johnny broke off, collapsing into tears. Daniel sat on the bed and pulled him close, letting Johnny sob into his shoulder. 

 

‘It’s OK,’ Daniel soothed, rubbing Johnny’s back. Daniel felt a lump in his throat as he held Johnny. With his arms around him, feeling Johnny shake, Daniel thought about how much he had missed, how much he hadn’t noticed. Johnny had been pushing himself so hard. 

 

Johnny’s breathing evened out, and he looked at Daniel, his eyes swollen and his face wet. ‘Is Kreese here?’ he said.

 

‘No,’ Daniel said grimly. ‘He’s gone.’

 

‘OK.’ Johnny nodded and let Daniel pull him close. ‘I don’t think I can be around him anymore,’ Johnny said softly.

 

‘You don’t have to be. He’s gone. I won’t let him near you.’ Daniel kissed the top of Johnny’s head and held him until the nurse told him it was time to leave. Another kiss and a promise to be back as soon as the hospital was allowed, Daniel reluctantly left.

 

******************

 

‘Welcome home!’ 

 

Johnny’s face broke into a grin as his friends surprised him. The apartment was covered in balloons, and Tommy and Dutch held a large banner. Bobby, Jimmy and Jessica beamed as Johnny and Daniel entered the apartment.

 

‘Glad to have you home, man,’ Bobby said as he pulled Johnny into a hug.

 

‘Thank you.’ Johnny said as he embraced his friends. He turned to Daniel. ‘Did you know about this?’

 

Daniel shrugged with a smile. ‘Nothing I could do to stop them.’

 

It was two weeks after Johnny had collapsed on stage at the gig, two weeks spent getting help for his eating disorder. The doctors had deemed him well enough to move into outpatient care, and he was staying with Bobby until he was well enough to go back to his own apartment. He was still trying to put on weight, trying to fix his relationship with food, but he was making progress.

 

There were hugs all around, and finally, they all settled on the couch, laughing and enjoying each other's company.

 

Daniel sat next to Johnny, their bodies close, their fingers entwined on Johnny’s knee. Daniel watched Johnny, watched him talk and laugh. Johnny’s voice had healed and it filled Daniel with happiness to see him smile. Daniel had loved Johnny before, but seeing the weight come off Johnny’s shoulders over the past weeks made it feel like falling in love with him all over again. 

 

Daniel squeezed Johnny’s hand, and Johnny turned to him. They smiled. Daniel leaned in, and their lips met. Daniel forgot where he was as he kissed Johnny, smiling as he did. He turned his body to get closer, one hand grasping Johnny’s t-shirt and pulling him closer.

 

‘Hey! Get a room!’ 

 

Something hit the back of Danie’s head, and suddenly, Johnny and Daniel were pelted with plastic cups and paper napkins. The Cobras and Jessica grinned as they threw items in their direction.

 

‘Alright, alright!’ Daniel laughed as he batted them away. He caught a cup and threw it back. ‘We surrender!’ The deluge ended, and there was peace.

 

‘Hey.’ Johnny muttered in Daniel’s ear. ‘You wanna take their advice? Go get a room.’

 

‘Oh yeah.’ 

 

Holding his hand, Johnny dragged Daniel off the couch and from the room, the sound of booing behind them. Daniel looked back and saw Jessica, who gave him a wave and a wink. Daniel laughed as he was dragged away.

Notes:

Thank you for all your kind comments and kudos. They are so valuable to me and, at so many points, have been what has kept me going and struggling through so much writer's block. There were times when I didn't think I would even finish this, so thank you for bearing with my inconsistent updates.

Love to all of you in the CK/KK fandom ❤️❤️❤️❤️