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Stupid fucking fuckers!
Izzy had been working in the restaurant industry for decades, serving all different types of clients, but it was really rare to meet people as infuriating as the fucking Badminton twins. They were food critics that had recently risen to fame with a book about their point of view on gastronomy, titled Quaint..ly awful - An expert commentary of the superiority of traditional cuisine over modern “food”. Izzy hadn’t even bothered to read it, because the title itself already sounded like trash, but they had been acclaimed by all the rich fuckers in the industry. Ridiculous. A couple of months ago, the awful twins had started going to popular restaurants to critique the food for a TV show, and it was now the Blackbeard’s Revenge ’s turn.
Everything had been going relatively smoothly at first, with Ed and Roach handling things in the kitchen and Izzy being their main server. The Badmintons had acted in an arrogant and pseudo-expert way that made Izzy want to pour the contents of the bottle of wine they were currently tasting over their heads—that would be a waste of a perfectly good wine on these fuckers’ ugly faces, though. They were visibly trying not to show how much they were appreciating the food that was being served to them, giving comments like “This is…adequate.” or “It’s relatively close to the way it should be done, but still needs some improvements.”, and Izzy was doing his best to keep a neutral face.
“Is there something wrong with you? Or are this restaurant's standards low when it comes to hiring waiters?”
The one who had hair was talking to Izzy.
“How am I being rude to you, Sir?” He asked in a cold but polite tone.
“You’re not smiling at all. Didn’t your manager train you to be nice to customers?”
“Yeah. Can we talk to your manager?” The bald one added.
“I am the manager. And I don’t know how smiling changes anything in the taste of the food, sirs.”
“Ridiculous. I want to talk to your boss.”
Izzy didn’t answer, going to the staff only door and walking to Bonnet’s office, where the man seemed to be hiding since the restaurant's closing—when the Badmintons and the TV crew had been scheduled to come. He knocked and entered without waiting for an answer, looking straight at a startled Bonnet.
“The Badminton fuckers asked to talk to my boss. Edward is busy in the kitchen. Make yourself useful, Bonnet.”
The man seemed to want to be anywhere but there, throwing a panicked look at Izzy.
“Are you sure I have to go?”
“Yes. Apparently my service is awful because I don’t smile. You smile too much, so maybe that will shut them up!”
Bonnet stood up.
“I don’t think my presence will make things any better, considering my… history with those two, but I’ll see what I can do.”
Izzy was now curious about that history, especially since it made the usually cheerful Bonnet look like he was walking to his own execution.
“Isn’t that Baby Bonnet?”
“It’s nice to see you, Nigel, Chauncy.”
The Twins’ attitude changed from cold and haughty to mocking and cruel. They then proceeded to tell what they described as amusing stories from their childhood, which consisted of them—and other boys—bullying Bonnet in the worst ways possible.
Bonnet was putting on a fake smile, but Izzy could see that he was not feeling well, and he really hated that. He and Bonnet didn’t always see eye to eye, and they often fought about little things, but he had never seen the man look so miserable. Where was the usual bitchiness that he had when telling Izzy about how his new ridiculous idea was a really good one, and they should actually test it before deciding that it was trash? Where was the man that had barged into their lives and swept Edward off his feet, partnering up with them and reviving Ed’s passion for cooking?
When Bonnet excused himself to go to the kitchen to get their next dish, he looked like he was on the verge of crying. Izzy followed him—in their enthusiasm to “remember the good old times”, the Badmintons had forgotten all about him—stopping him in the hallway before he entered the kitchen. Bonnet looked at him with humid eyes that made Izzy’s heart ache and his anger towards the twins skyrocket.
“It’s ok, Izzy. You can take a break. I’ll take care of the rest.” The man quickly mumbled.
“It’s not ok. Why did you let them talk to you this way?”
“They’ve always been like this. It’s better to let them talk than to cause any problem.”
“Fuck that! They are the problem!”
“Thank you for your concern, Izzy. But I’ll be alright.”
Bonnet tried going into the kitchen, but Izzy blocked the way.
“No, it’s not. I can kick them out, if you don’t want to confront them.”
“It’s ok, they’re almost done, anyway. I’m used to their comments, really. It used to be much worse before.”
“How come you can put me back in my place and you’re afraid of these fake gastronomy experts, who can’t make the difference between parsley and oregano?” Izzy spat.
This comment made Bonnet giggle. The kitchen door opened, and Izzy turned to see a concerned-looking Ed.
“What’s the matter? Don’t tell me you two are fighting again!”
“No, Edward. Please tell your boyfriend that no food critic is worth getting repeatedly insulted to his face by his childhood bullies!”
Edward looked as furious as Izzy felt.
“Izzy gave me an idea.” Bonnet was smiling shyly now. Much better than the miserable face. “We’ll have to make some…minor changes to the next dish, though. Izzy, can you distract them with wine or something? I’ll need a couple of minutes.”
Izzy nodded, and he rushed outside, trying to calm his heart rate down—he could think of Edward and Bonnet’s smiles later .
The Badmintons were laughing about how they had once made “Baby Bonnet” kiss a horse when Izzy went back to their table, noticing the awkward smiles of the filming crew. Bonnet showed up a few minutes later, carrying their next dish. He began describing what Izzy already knew by heart in a cheerful tone, making it sound fancier by using more words to describe simple things—if anyone was good at doing that, it was him. But then, he added something that was unusual, listing some “special traditional spices” that did not sound like anything that actually existed. The twins were nodding approvingly at that, especially when Stede said something that sounded vaguely Latin.
“This will be the last savoury dish for tonight, gentlemen. Please enjoy.”
The blonde man then stepped back, outside of the camera angle, before he looked at Izzy, eyes full of mischief.
Izzy started understanding what was happening when their guests progressively turned red. The bald one started coughing.
“Oh my! Nigel, are you alright?”
“What…is….in….here…you…”
Bonnet refilled their empty glasses with water.
“I tried convincing the chef to go easy on the traditional spices, but he was adamant on being completely faithful to this recipe. He said it wouldn’t be respectful to our guests, because only you would know how to appreciate a five-hundred-year-old taste.”
“It’s…perfectly…fine…” Nigel said, his brother nodding. “You…of…all…people…should…know…not…to….go…against…tradition…Baby ... Bonnet…”
“My apologies, Nigel, Chauncey.” Bonnet said in a fake apologetic tone. “It was foolish of me to think that you wouldn’t be able to handle this.”
The way he was looking at the twins with a satisfied face while they were visibly suffering while eating the rest of their dish made Izzy’s pussy clench. He already knew that Bitchy Bonnet made him wet—even though he didn’t want to admit it to himself—but seeing him being cunning and passive aggressive towards someone else than him made Izzy want to tear his clothes off his ridiculously fit-looking body and ride him until they both passed out. As if Izzy’s internal battle with his lust wasn’t enough, Bonnet chose that moment to smile at him and fucking wink .
Izzy knew he was blushing, and he turned his head to hide his flustered face. He noticed then that the staff door was ajar. He walked towards it, noticing that Edward was the cause of this, and that he had a hand on his mouth to muffle his laugh. Izzy went into the staff area and closed the door behind him.
“What the fuck are you doing, Edward? Aren’t you supposed to get the dessert ready?”
“Roach is taking care of the final touch. I didn’t want to miss the show.”
Izzy rolled his eyes.
“It’s a real shit show.”
“Yeah.” Ed agreed. “It was hilarious to see them nod at the list of totally fake stuff Stede was telling them! Traditional spices…five-hundred-year-recipe….” he giggled. “Adding all that spicy stuff to a simple recipe is everything but traditional! Not that they need to know. They’re gonna have a lot of fun when all of that will get out from the other hole, if you know what I mean.”
That made Izzy chuckle.
“They got what they deserved.”
It took a lot of self-control for Izzy not to laugh when the Badmintons gave their opinion to Edward as he was serving them the dessert. They said that everything was not the best, except for the last one. They were still very red when they left the restaurant.
“Stede, love, you were brilliant!” Ed went to hug Bonnet, and Izzy went to the kitchen to start washing the dishes, not wanting to watch them being lovey-dovey with each other. He told Roach to leave, because he wanted to be alone. He wasn’t on his own for very long, though, because the couple joined him in the kitchen a couple of minutes after Roach had said goodbye.
“You two can go home. I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Nah, we’ll be done faster if we help, Iz!” Edward said, putting away the clean plates after Bonnet dried them.
“Thank you, Izzy.” Bonnet murmured in an affectionate tone.
“For what?”
“For putting some sense into me. I’m not the defenceless kid I used to be, and I was acting like they still had power over me.”
“They’re stupid fuckers.”
“Yeah, they are. And I’m glad I was able to get a small victory over them. You gave me the courage to do it.”
“I’m usually the one who gets to experience your bitchy side, Bonnet. And I think I’m scarier than them.” He joked, making Edward snort.
“You can be scary, but you’re not a stupid snobby bigot, Iz!”
“Ed’s right. You’re a good guy. And I can be very bitchy with you, but I actually like you.”
Izzy looked at Stede, who was smiling at him, an absolutely adorable blush reddening his cheeks. Izzy wanted to kiss him so bad.
“Yeah. I think you both like each other.” He was startled by Ed’s voice in his ear, feeling his body heat right behind him. “Quite a lot.”
“I…uh…I suppose I don’t dislike you, Bonnet.” Fucking hell, why was he fucking stuttering?
“That’s a lot, coming from you, Izzy. And please, call me Stede.” Bonnet…Stede got closer to him, slowly raising his hand and caressing his cheek tentatively, as if he was afraid to hurt him.
“Stede…” Izzy sighed, overwhelmed by how soft the hand was in contrast to his rough skin. He felt Edward’s chest touching his back and his hands reaching for his hips.
“I want to be clear. We both really like you, Izzy.” Ed whispered. “Please tell us if we’re misreading this, but we think you also really like us.”
Izzy whimpered and nodded. His heartbeat was crazy and his pussy was dripping.
“We need a clear answer from you, Izzy.” Stede was so close that Izzy could feel his warm breath on his face.
“Yes. I fucking like you both, so fucking ki—”
He was interrupted by a soft pair of lips on his, followed by Stede’s tongue. He moaned as Ed started sucking on the side of his neck. This had to be a dream! There was no way this was true…he couldn’t possibly be sandwiched in between the two men he had been lusting—and pining—for, looking at them being all over each other with envy and longing. He knew he had had feelings for Ed for the longest time, but his feelings for Stede had snuck up on him, and he had started to accept the fact that none of them would be returned. He was wrong, apparently.
“Should we move this….somewhere else?” Stede panted, his lips red and puffy from all the kissing and his growing erection pressing against Izzy’s lower belly.
They reluctantly separated, locking up the restaurant before moving to Ed and Stede’s apartment, which was thankfully very close.
Ed was kissing Izzy as soon as they were inside, his hands groping everywhere before going under Izzy’s shirt.
“The bedroom will be much more comfortable.” They heard Stede’s voice, which was full of desire.
Ed grabbed Izzy’s hand, and they followed Stede, who had already removed his shirt, pulling down his trousers and boxers together and letting his erection free. Izzy licked his lips, looking at the bigger-than-average dick and imagining it filling his pussy or his mouth…
“He has a wonderful cock, doesn’t he?” Ed teased him. “And let me tell you…he knows how to use it.” He winked, before stripping quickly and undressing Izzy, as Stede was getting lube and condoms.
He felt Izzy’s hesitation when he started unzipping his pants.
“Is everything alright? We don’t have to go further if you’re uncomfortable.”
“It’s not that. I want this. But…well…Edward already knows… but Stede…I…”
Stede’s eyes went from his face, to his crotch and then back to his face with a knowing look.
“Is it about you being trans?”
“How do you know?” He looked at Ed, who shook his head.
“No, Ed didn’t tell me! I just overheard you giving advice to Jim before and after they got top surgery. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
Izzy sighed from relief.
“It’s ok. It’s not like I’m hiding it or anything. I just wanted to make sure that…”
“That I still want to make love to you? Even with…what words are you comfortable with, anyway?” It was almost comical to see Stede being awkward and careful with his rock hard cock bobbing with his every move.
“I’m fine with anything, really. Pussy, hole, cock, clit. I prefer actions over words, anyway.” Izzy smirked, removing the rest of his clothes.
He didn’t waste any time, getting on the bed and straddling Stede. He kissed his lips first, before going further down on his jaw, his neck, and then taking his time on his chest.
“Izzy…fuck…so good…you’re amazing…”
His praises were making Izzy wetter, especially with Ed’s whimpering in the background, accompanied by the sound of him jerking off. When Izzy turned to look at him, he was squeezing the base of his cock, as if he was preventing himself from coming too fast. This made Izzy’s own cock twitch.
“Izzy, darling…You can say no if you want to, but…I really want you to sit on my face.” How could this man be so fucking filthy while being polite at the same time? Izzy didn’t hesitate, moving up until his pussy was right on top of Stede’s face. He felt Stede’s hands on his thighs, encouraging him to sit, which he did, moaning at the feeling of Stede’s mouth on his pussy and his nose deliciously rubbing on his cock. When Stede started using his tongue, Izzy knew he wouldn’t last long. He started grinding onto the man’s face, moaning shamelessly and chasing his orgasm. He suddenly felt a vibration, turning his head to see Ed’s head bobbing up and down on Stede’s dick. He didn’t have time to warn anyone as he was cumming hard. Stede continued licking him through his orgasm until it became too much and Izzy sat back on his chest, looking at the mess he had made on the blonde man, who was smiling blissfully, his face completely wet.
Ed released Stede’s dick with an obscene pop, going straight for Stede’s mouth, both of them moaning as they were sharing Izzy’s taste. He then kissed Izzy, and started fingering him slowly. Izzy’s walls clenched around the teasing fingers and his dick started to harden again. He then felt Stede’s mouth pressing butterfly kisses all over his chest, before stopping at one of his nipples and licking it while pinching the other with silky soft fingers.
“Please…” He mewled into Ed’s lips, grabbing Stede’s hair. “Please…”
Ed removed his fingers from his pussy, making Izzy whine in protest.
“Oh, I’m so sorry Iz.” He said in a tone that didn’t sound sorry at all. “I need both hands for what’s next. Do you want to ride Stede’s cock?” Izzy nodded enthusiastically, which made Stede laugh while he nuzzled his chest.
“So eager, my lovely Izzy. I’m impatient too. Can’t wait to have you bouncing on my dick. You’re so gorgeous!” He caressed Izzy’s chest, running his hands through the curly grey hair. “I love the way you feel.”
He kept complimenting Izzy, while Ed got one condom and put it on Stede’s cock.
“He’s all yours, Iz!” Ed lied down next to Stede, who turned to give him an open-mouthed kiss.
All Izzy wanted to do was to impale himself on the big, gorgeous dick that was ready for him, but he decided to tease Stede a little before doing so. He sat on Stede’s crotch, moving his hips in a way that slid the man’s cock between his pussy lips. He started moving back and forth, and he was so wet that he didn’t need to put much effort into it. His own dick was getting constantly stimulated, but he wanted to cum while Stede was inside him.
Every single inch of Stede’s dick felt amazing, filling him perfectly and hitting all the perfect spots inside him. Izzy started slow, but keeping it this way was torturous even for him, so he accelerated the rhythm, riding Stede hard and fast. Stede was still kissing Ed, moaning into his mouth and masturbating him at the same rhythm as Izzy’s bounces. Ed was the first to come, releasing with a cry, looking at Izzy with a heated gaze. His fingers on Izzy’s dick were what made him cum for the second time, squirting intensely on Stede, who came seconds after him.
Izzy felt so blissfully satisfied, but he was also sticky, and he was starting to feel the effects of having two consecutive orgasms on his ageing body. He got up, releasing Stede’s softening cock with a wet sound that made Ed chuckle.
“You surely don’t do things halfway, Iz.” He joked, and Izzy rolled his eyes.
“We should shower.” Stede said while getting up, making Ed—who was caressing his chest—groan in protest. “You two can go ahead. I’ll change the sheets.”
Izzy felt awkward as he followed Ed to a very spacious bathroom, with a bathtub that could easily fit five people or more, and a spacious shower. They went for the latter, as they were too tired for a bath.
“Close your eyes.” Ed warned him before massaging his scalp with shampoo-filled hands. It felt so good that Izzy stopped the anxious thoughts that had started to creep into his mind. “Can you promise me not to overthink things?” He asked softly.
“What?” Izzy felt himself blush.
“I know you, Iz. And I wanted to let you know, before you start putting yourself down, that I meant it when I said that we both really like you. You’ve always been my best friend, but Stede made me actually realise that my feelings for you were far from being platonic.”
Izzy felt the tears gather behind his eyelids as Ed rinsed his hair. He heard Stede join them, enveloping them both in a comforting hug. They showered in a now comfortable silence, and went to sleep right after, Ed and Stede cuddling Izzy between them.