Chapter Text
The next morning, Song Lan is awoken by the sound of wood being carved. It’s faint, probably a small carving, but his senses were much sharper since becoming a fierce corpse, even better now that he wasn’t constantly drunk. He opened his eyes and found the other side of the bed empty. He went to put on his robes, but found that all their clothes were mixed and matched. His inner shirt was missing, along with his most outer robe. What he was left with was Xingchen’s white inner shirt, his own black robes and pants, and, again, Xingchen’s white outer robe. At least their sashes were different enough, even a blind man wouldn’t mix them up.
He exited the room in only his pants and black robe, finding Xingchen sitting on the steps outside, basking in the sunlight as he was hunched over, carving something. Song Lan approached him slowly, but tried his best to make noise, lest he surprise his partner.
“Ah, Zichen!” Xingchen smiled in the direction of his footsteps “Good morning.”
Although Xingchen was much more suited for white, Song Lan’s clothes fit him so well, he almost didn’t want to tell him the truth. He stood there, admiring how Xingchen’s slender wrists were enveloped by giant black sleeves, the robe dragging against the floor a bit too much, obviously too long for him. He looked so adorable, snuggled up in his partner’s clothes, Song Lan just wanted to scoop him up and return to the bed for another round. Instead, he focused his mind, with great hardship, and sat down next to him.
What are you doing?
“Since we bought A-Qing a new hanfu, I wanted to make her another hairpin. I made her one back in Yi City, so I’m trying to make the same one now. Does it look alright?” he held up the wooden hairpin and Song Lan took it into his hand to inspect.
It was an elegant hairpiece, the tip of it was beautifully carved into a smiling fox, extremely great craftsmanship. It made sense to him, now. This was Xiao Huli, the little fox. It was no wonder she used it as her pen name, since it was the only gift she received from Xingchen. He returned it and nodded.
It’s excellent.
“Thank you.” Xingchen smiled, his hand brushing over Song Lan’s sleeve as he took back the carving, noticing how he was only wearing one layer of clothes “Are you not cold like that? Wear your outer robe.”
I can’t.
This confused Xingchen tremendously “What do you mean?”
The one you left me is too small.
“I don’t understand…” he sighed “I haven’t left any new robes out for you.”
Song Lan smiled, tugging the sleeves of his robes on Xingchen’s arms. Haven’t you noticed these being too big for you? Does your inner shirt hang too loosely?
Xingchen understood instantly, his cheeks flushing deeply “I apologise, I haven’t realised I took your robes!”
He got up to get changed, but Song Lan stopped him. Keep them for a bit. We’re not needed anywhere, so just allow me to indulge in the scenery.
Xingchen bit his lips for a moment “We are needed. I promised A-Qing we’d have breakfast together, we should get going.”
Ah, there it was. Always needed somewhere, always in motion. Song Lan groaned, growing too tired of walking everywhere. He wished he and Xingchen could just spend one day alone in relaxation. Perhaps this was the same feeling Wei Wuxian had when he tried offering Sizhui instead of Hanguang-Jun for Inquiry.
They changed into correct robes, setting off to meet A-Qing in the main house. They entered and were greeted by Fenfang, who was holding empty bowls and chopsticks.
“Morning. Mom’s already made breakfast, so you should join her before it gets too cold.”
“And you? Are you not joining us?” Xingchen asked with a frown.
“Sorry, uncle, I can’t, I have work to do.” she pouted apologetically.
He’s the uncle but I’m the grandfather? Song Lan protested, folding his arms over his chest.
“Lao Song, don’t be angry.” Fenfang cooed, trying to sound sweet “I’ll call you uncle Song if it’ll make you feel better.”
Song Lan rolled his eyes, amused, and led Xingchen over to A-Qing’s table, where she had already prepared all the food and was waiting for them.
“Finally, you’re up.” she groaned “I thought daoists like you get up bright and early.”
“Zichen was tired, I didn’t wish to wake him.” Xingchen smiled, sitting down at the table, trying his best to pretend like he hadn’t read parts of A-Qing’s story last night “We’re sorry to keep you waiting.”
“Bah, don’t worry about it.” she dismissed it with a wave of her hand “Let’s eat now!”
“Oh, A-Qing, before we start eating…” Xingchen reached into his sleeve and pulled out the wooden hairpin he had been making, handing it to A-Qing “This is for you.”
A-Qing gasped as she took in the carvings. The fox’s smiling face was the same as the one she used to wear all the time back in Yi city. He hugged Xingchen tightly, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.
“Thank you so much…” she whispered “I’ll definitely treasure it!”
She put the ornament in her hair immediately and they all began to eat.
Once A-Qing went to the market to buy more food, Song Lan pulled Xingchen aside to discuss one last thing. He led Xingchen back to the main garden, guiding him to sit down on the bench. Carefully, he pulled out his pouch and handed Xingchen the first gift - a long, elegant hairpin, with a ribbon looped through it. The blind man’s fingers traced the object, finally being able to tell what it was.
“Why are you giving me this?” he asked, but continued to flip the object around in his hands.
I’ve been buying small trinkets for you ever since I lost you. Song Lan explained with a sigh. I want to give them to you now.
Xingchen smiled, then carefully took out his hair ornament, replacing it with the one Song Lan gave him. He turned to his partner and presented himself.
“How does it look?”
Like a dream. I have more.
“More?” he chuckled “You’re spoiling me.”
Song Lan next took out a jade pendant, turning the white carved flower over in his hands before gently putting it on top of Xingchen’s hand. The other traced the shape with his thumbs, having a harder time deciphering it. Once his hand reached the soft string, he understood. He stood up and adjusted his sash, carefully hanging the ornament from it, then turning to Song Lan again.
“How does it look?” he asked again.
Like a dream. Song Lan answered, again.
He already began pushing something else into Xingchen’s hands, “Even more?” the blind cultivator asked, earning a nod.
The next thing Xingchen touched with his hands was a comb. He traced the carvings of it, recognising the patter, with a nostalgic smile.
One last thing, I promise.
“Alright.”
Song Lan turned behind him to where he had previously hidden a flat box, holding it up and opening the lid, presenting it in front of Xingchen. The blind daoist touched the fabric, tilting his head as he tried to recognise what it was.
“Are these robes?”
Something like that.
“Are they new daoist robes?” he guessed, remembering that the both of them wore matching tattered clothes, and that he had told Song Lan they should get new, cleaner robes.
No. We’ll buy those together. I want us to have matching.
Xingchen blushed but nodded “So these don’t match?”
They do. But we can’t wear them all the time.
“Why not?” he tilted his head, not really understanding what kind of clothes these were.
It would be strange to wear these more than once.
“Just once?” Xingchen frowned, stumped “What kind of robes do you only wear once…?”
Xingchen was blind, so of course he couldn’t see the colour of the robes Song Lan was giving him. He enjoyed playing this game with him, having him ask a thousand questions, watching his face turn red when he finally got it, so he wouldn’t just give him the answer.
“Can I at least know the colour?” he asked, tracing the patterns “I can tell they’re very decorative.”
Red.
As predicted, Xingchen’s face immediately flushed a deep red, almost as vibrant as the clothes themselves. He was shocked speechless, standing there with his hands still outstretched, buried into the box. He slowly withdrew them, his lips moving as he tried to find words to say.
Xingchen.
He held his breath, taking his partner’s hands, holding him close.
Marry me.
When Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen had first begun to travel together, they had decided to stay at a bigger inn in one of the cities they visited, having been exhausted from the previous fight. Song Lan wanted to go to their chambers immediately and sleep, but Xingchen, ever so energetic, wanted to take a walk around the city. Had it been anyone else, they would have gone their separate ways and met back up in their rooms later. But Song Lan couldn’t bare the thought of Xingchen, ever so gullible, going out alone, with no supervision. So that was how they ended up at the end of a giant line, unable to walk back to their inn after a day’s worth of travel.
“There’s so many people here.” Xingchen said, standing on the tips of his toes to try and see above everyone’s heads “I wonder what the hold-up is?”
“Maybe we came at a bad time, looks like someone important is in town.” Song Lan answered with a grunt, rubbing his tired eyes “I told you, we should have just gone to bed, the market wouldn’t be gone in the morning.”
Xingchen gave him a pout, knowing all too well that his partner was completely right “Yes, but… what if tomorrow, instead of selling these delicious sugar paintings, they sold buns? We’d be missing out, respected daoist Song.”
Song Lan rolled his eyes, looking back at Xingchen, who was peering at him through his lashes, trying desperately to get away with mischief by utilising cuteness “Fine.” he gave in with a heavy sigh “Respected daoist Xiao,” he teased back “are you able to see what the crowd is looking at?”
Xingchen tried again, but no matter how much he stretched, there were too many people to be able to see anything “No, I can’t. Are you able to?”
Song Lan then peered over just as Xingchen did, trying to look over everyone’s heads, falling back onto his heels once he saw enough “It’s a wedding. We’re stuck here for the next hour, at least.”
“A wedding?” Xingchen gasped, holding his horsetail whisk tighter in excitement “Oh how beautiful! I don’t mind waiting for such a joyous occasion!”
“Xingchen, my feet hurt.” Song Lan complained “How about we try a different route?”
“Yes, but look!” Xingchen pointed, completely ignoring his partner “They’re handing out candy to the people, that’s why it’s so crowded.” he turned to Song Lan with an apologetic smile “I’m sorry, Zichen, it looks like all the exits are blocked. The only way is up, but that would attract too much attention.”
Song Lan had to agree “It’s too crowded, I wouldn’t be able to pull out Fuxue, even if I wanted to. Then, what are we to do?”
“How about we get closer?” Xingchen offered “I’ve never seen a mortal wedding before.”
“If you continue to talk like that in public, people might mistake you for a god.” Song Lan teased.
“Heavens no! I merely meant…” he pouted, then began making his way through the crowd, slithering between any open space between two people.
Song Lan was left alone in seconds. Shaking off the initial confusion, he pushed past the people to try and catch up. Some people began to yell at him for being so forceful, to which he apologised deeply, but continued his way - he needed to get to Xingchen before someone else did. If he bumped into trouble here, of all places…
“Xingchen!” he called, having lost him in the crowd “Xingchen, come back, where did you run off to?!”
He continued his search, but he was sure he had already lost his trail. He began asking the other people there, but, of course, nobody saw him, they were all focused on the wedding. After a bit, he gave up and distanced himself from the crowd, but his eyes remained there, worriedly searching for his companion amongst the sea of people.
A little girl bumped into him head first, startling him for a moment. He looked over and noticed that she was much younger than him, with eyes a shocking white. So, she was blind…
“I’m so sorry, mister!” she cried “I’m blind, I can’t see where I’m going!”
He sighed, taking a step away from her “It’s alright, just walk slower next time. There are too many people here, you should avoid this place.”
“Yes, yes, thank you!” she bowed and began to walk away, but Song Lan stopped her.
“Wait.”
She stood in her tracks, her hands slightly trembling as she held her bamboo pole.
“The pouch you stole, where did you find it?”
“...huh?” the girl was dumbfounded.
“The one around your waist. It has no money, only a few talismans and candy. It belongs to my friend. You can keep mine, since you stole it, but return that one.”
She shook as she meekly took out the white pouch and slowly handed it to him “It’s his fault it got stolen! He’s all the way at the front, just watching the wedding. I mean, how old is he? Has he never seen a wedding before?! Uncultured…”
Before Song Lan had the opportunity to scold her, she had already run off, probably to steal more money. It was the perfect opportunity, after all, so many people, and no one was paying attention.
Song Lan sighed, walking back over to the front of the crowd, finally finding Xingchen, staring in awe, watching as the small girls walked around and decorated the streets with flowers.
He shoved the pouch in front of Xingchen’s face, blocking his view “Did you not notice this getting stolen?”
“Huh?” Xingchen turned to look at Song Lan, taking the pouch back “No, I guess I haven’t… Where did you find it?”
“Irrelevant. Keep your things safe, you won’t be able to rely on me forever.”
“Why not?”
Song Lan turned to look at him with a shocked expression, but Xingchen’s held genuine curiosity, as if he couldn’t fathom even for a second that Song Lan would one day not be by his side. The sincerity of it all made Song Lan’s heart soften, as he looked away, hands behind his back.
“So be it, then.” he shook his head. “Won’t you be in the place of the groom one day? How could I possibly follow you there?”
Xingchen began to ponder, looking over all the people there “You won’t attend my wedding?” he sounded genuinely hurt.
Song Lan sighed, refusing to meet his gaze “What if I marry first?”
“I’d attend yours.” he answered instantly “I can throw the flowers.” he laughed.
“Wouldn’t you stand by my side, like that man next to the groom?”
“Isn’t that reserved for the father? Won’t your shifu stand there?” he asked, tilting his head to try and capture Song Lan’s gaze.
Their eyes met for a second, then Song Lan turned his head away.
“Then, after I get married, where will you go?” he asked, quietly.
“Will you abandon your ideas after marriage?” Xingchen frowned “Why not bring your wife with us, and all three of us can start a sect together.”
Song Lan turned to him then, with an angry expression “How many sect leaders do you think a sect can have? If I marry her, then she and I would be sect leaders, you can be a branch lord.”
“Ah… right…” Xingchen lowered his gaze, fiddling with his coin pouch, that held no coin.
Song Lan felt he had said something wrong, or perhaps the true meaning of his words weren’t understood, so he added “Then it’s best neither of us get married.”
Xingchen looked up in shock “Why not?”
“I want Xiao Xingchen to be a sect leader alongside me.” he said “Nobody else can take that spot.”
Xingchen smiled widely, tilting his head as he stepped closer to Song Lan “Then I promise to never get married.”
Unless it’s you I’m married to…
“Yes!” Xingchen sighed, a smile stretching his lips “Of course I will.”
Song Lan returned the smile, though he felt it was too late now. He stood up and pulled Xingchen into a kiss.
I won’t be able to give you a big wedding.
“I don’t need a big wedding.”
I have no one but A-Qing and Fenfang to invite.
“Those are all the people I need.”
They remained embraced for a long time, until they felt the air become chilly, the sky losing all colour, covering the earth with a white dome. They raised their heads and Song Lan saw the small snowflakes falling towards them, while Xingchen felt the icy flower touch and melt right on the tip of his nose. Song Lan pulled him closer, shielding his warm body from the cold snow.
I promise to take good care of you.
“I promise the same.” Xingchen whispered “Through thick and thin, I will remain by your side.”
No matter what happens, I’ll never abandon you.
“I’ll find a way to heal you.” he snuggled closer, feeling his nose begin to turn red “We’ll start our own sect together, based on shared values, not familial ties.”
As we watch the world change for the next eternity, I shall remain the same, the one constant in your life.
Xingchen smiled, wrapping his arms tighter around Song Lan’s waist, nodding “An eternity by your side… it must be heaven, no, even better than heaven.”
I’ve seen the mortal realm, and I’ve seen hell. My heaven has finally decided to return to me, and I don’t ever plan on letting it go.