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The stadium was packed. I stood, pressed against the metal gates that formed a walkway in between masses of bustling fans. I had spent half my bank account to get floor tickets for Billie Eilish and as my head starts to pound from the heat and the noise, I realise it was so fucking worth it.
Suddenly, the lights start to flash and I hear the opening drum beat ring through my ears. My stomach feels like it's doing somersaults as I watch the stage with anticipation. Billie launches out the stage and I scream so loudly that my lungs feel like they're on fire. It's the best feeling in the world, I fucking love Billie Eilish.
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"Maybe won't you take it back? Say you were tryna make me laugh."
Billie is walking through the crowd, her microphone clutched in her hand as she sings. I watch her walk closer to me, her black hair is tied in two messy buns and she's wearing an oversized t-shirt. I can't stop smiling as she slowly makes her way down the path. Eventually, she reaches me and I stick my hand out, hoping she'll touch it as she passes. Billie takes my hand in the gentlest way possible and holds it to her chest. My eyes widen as she makes eye contact with me and continues to sing.
"The smile that you gave me, even when you felt like dying"
Her smile is the prettiest thing I have ever seen. I reach my other hand out and cup her face with it. As she stops singing I lean forward. "Are you happy?" I ask with genuine concern. I watch as her eyes soften and she leans into my touch, rubbing her thumb over my hand that she still has held to her chest.
"We fall apart as it gets dark, I'm in your arms in Central Park."
Billie walks towards me and wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a hug over the barrier. I melt as she holds me, tears surfacing in my eyes.
"There's nothing you could do or say-"
I hear her voice break slightly, her grip tightens slightly on me and I lightly rub her back with my thumb, shaking. I'm literally falling apart as she keeps singing, I hear the crowd grow louder to support her wavering voice.
"I don't want to... but I love you-" She stops singing and pulls away from the hug, covering her mouth with her hand as the crowd finishes the song. A chorus of "ooh" echoes through the stadium, Billie opens her eyes and makes eye contact with me again. I smile softly at her and hold my arms out. She lets out a broken laugh and comes forward, hugging me properly this time. I feel her kiss my head and I actually decompose.
She whispers "You perfect fucking angel"
The music changes and Billie pulls away from our hug, bringing the mic back to her mouth and singing once again. She blows a kiss to me before running back to the stage and doing her thinggg. I'm blushing so hard that I can almost see the red from my cheeks.
Jesus what did I just experience?!