Chapter Text
A few Days Later
I wanted more than anything to touch Astarion, but I needed to restrain myself. It took him ages to wake up that night. Ever since. I had been avoiding him. He had snuck into my tent trying to cuddle me a couple of times.
I was scared that if I got too frisky or if things escalated I would hurt him again. I didn't do it intentionally. He told me it wasn't my fault and that he was just tired. Still, my heart felt heavy like it was my fault.
Avoiding him was hard. During the day I would try to stay as close to the group as I could, but not engage with anyone. During the night, I would sit at the fire till my eyes started to close before shuffling to my tent or to the woods. Wherever Astarion wasn't.
A cloud of guilt followed me everywhere I went. Anytime I looked at him. There it was. Raining my mistake all over me.
It had been five days. I was trying to give him a week to heal and to rest. He was making it difficult however.
We were out and about, traipsing through a hag infested swamp, and this man… this beautiful, wonderful, smart elf… he put flowers in his hair. Flowers. Reds and purples.
I don't know why, but he looked so fucking gorgeous. I wanted to throw him down in front of everyone and have my way with him. He looked like a true elven prince.
When we made it to camp that night, I was exhausted. Not sleeping well due to a guilty conscience. Plus being pent up not being able to touch myself was hard.
No one was talking to one another that night either. We all seemed to be fighting with one another. Pissy attitudes all around. Tension was high.
When Shadowheart announced that she was going foraging, I wanted to go. Be away from camp. Do something that didn't have to do with fighting or feeling down.
I grabbed a basket and followed close behind. When we were in the woods, where no one could see me, I looked to the camp. I watched as Astarion went to his tent. The way walked all slouched, he seemed so sad.
I shook it off. I would try to make things right later. Try to explain myself the best I could. It would be difficult but maybe I could use the tadpole to like offer an apology or something.
Shadowheart hummed a tune as she picked berries, nuts and fruits from bushes. I picked mushrooms. I knew a bunch about them. Jivvin was from the Underdark so he taught me.
I got separated from Shadowheart. Which ended up with me walking through some kind of portal. There were a shit ton of mushrooms. I picked as many as I could. I knew they were edible.
As I was throwing them into my basket, I would eat one, put one in the basket. I was hungry. My tummy started to growl when I saw the mushrooms.
Soon, Shadowheart came through the portal thing to find me. She was scolding me until she saw what I was eating. Her eyes went wide. I swallowed hard.
"How many did you eat?" She asked. Her voice stern. 'Uh oh.' I had never seen her mad at me. She reminded me of my dad. I shrugged still crouched down by the mushrooms.
"You don't know." She paused, looking at my full basket and back at me. "We need to get you back to camp. You're gonna feel… uhh… immensely horny soon."
My eyes felt like they would fall from my skull. What the fuck did I eat? They looked like the same type of mushroom that Jivvin had shown me. I looked at them a little closer. They were in fact. Different.
I dropped it. I stood cracking my back and neck. I sighed. What the fuck was I going to do?
I followed Shadowheart. We moved quickly. She scolded me. She made me miss my mom. I stayed quiet. She was right. I should have checked with her before having a mushroom feast. I was still hungry.
We were almost to the tree line of camp when they started to take a hold of me. I felt sweaty. Dizzy. Lustful.
I stopped walking. I growled as I felt this rushing heat to my dick. I wanted to fuck as hard and for as long as possible. It's all I could think about.
My memory became fuzzy after that. A weird haze around my memories of that night. Bits of black out then flashes of images.
We got to camp. I remember seeing Astarion worry over me. Grasping my face in his cool hands. They felt good. I remember being insanely hot.
The images flash and I was on my knees in front of Astarion. Rubbing him. Talking in Orc and confusing the shit out of him. I'm sure it was all a big surprise for him to hear me ramble in Orc.
I remember fucking him. Making him cum. But not all of it.
When I came to, Astarion was riding me. What a sight. His clothes ripped to shreds. His hands on my chest. He looked sweaty. His eyes. Fuck, his eyes. The way he looked at me as he rode my cock.
I tightened my grip on his hips as he rode me. It felt better than I could have ever imagined. He shifted. Moaning louder with every thrust.
My head rolled back as I slammed him down onto me. His riding was great but I needed more momentum. I needed to cum and I needed it right then. A few more slams and I was cumming. Rolling my head off to the side, he bit me hard. I felt him release as he drank.
I held him as he did. I was starting to feel dizzy again. I grunted and he stopped. He licked at the wound before resting his head on my chest.
"Na dovid dra." I said, repeating myself as I rubbed his back. Kissed his head. I wanted this man to know I loved him even though he couldn't understand me.
With the last bit of my mushroom haze, I abandoned all my thoughts. I told this man I loved him. I hoped he could love me back one day. Though, I knew it wasn’t likely.
“Boys! Do you want dinner or not?!” We heard La’zel scream. Astarion buried his head into my neck. He was embarrassed. It took everything in me not to cackle. I’m sure they all got a good earful.
Astarion stood. He began to take off the rags that were his clothes. I honestly felt horrible about it. I helped pull off his boots. It was the least I could do for ruining his clothes.
“You owe me for the clothes.” He said with a cheeky smile. I wondered if it was a joke or if I should buy him some. I would regardless, but I had a hard time telling sarcasm sometimes. I shrugged, grabbed my pants and slipped them on.
Astarion made a toga out of a blanket. His legs, mostly bare. I wanted him again. Fucking mushrooms. At least I thought it was. He had an effect on me like no other.
Shadowheart gave me a heaping plate. She told me I needed sustenance after the work I had been doing in that tent. I blushed. I couldn’t remember most of it.
I devoured the food. A stew and bread. I watched Astarion speaking to Gale. They chatted for a moment. Then, Astarion got up and walked to the trees rather quickly.
I put my plate down and ran after him. He was sitting in a clearing. He was sobbing into his hands. It hurt my heart to see him cry.
He heard me approaching. He wiped his face, but the evidence was on his face. The moonlight glistened off his tear stained face. It broke me to see him cry like that.
He patted next to him in the grass. I sat next to him. Wrapping my arm around his shoulders. I pulled him in. He rested his head on my shoulder. I scooted as close as I could so he wouldn't hurt his neck.
"Na dovid dra." He said. His words, taking me by surprise.
I grasped his chin. Tilting his face to look at me. I couldn't help the smile on my face. Tears fell down my cheeks. I was embarrassed at my weakness, but the beautiful elven prince told me he loved me. My heart took flight.
He leaned in to kiss me. I laid him in the grass. I couldn't keep my lips off him. Kissing him as long as I could before we were both panting and sweaty.
"Let's go to sleep." Astarion sighed. "You've completely worn me out. Carry me." He rested his arm over his eyes."
I giggled. He was so cute. Lifting him with ease from the ground, I cradled him as I carried him to my tent.
I sat him down on my bedroll. He slipped out of the blanket he had fashioned into clothing. I blushed, swallowing hard.
"You like what you see?" He said, rubbing his chest. I looked away. I couldn't look into his eyes.
I felt his tongue at my ear. I shuddered. Taking his head in my hands I kissed him hard. Pushing him down. Looking into those eyes. I felt a little part of my soul leave my body.
"Rest." I said before laying next to him. Throwing blankets over us before cuddling him.
He closed his eyes, wrapping himself around me, moaning into my chest. He had one arm draped over my abdomen and one snaked into my hair under my neck. His legs were wrapped around one of mine.
"You're so warm." He nuzzled into my neck. I reached between us to adjust my growing erection.
Astarion's eyes popped open. He looked down, raising his brow. He reached for my cock. I snatched his wrist, placing his arm back where it had been resting.
"Don't." I warned. Shadowheart gave me a quick rundown of what happened. I didn't know if I had hurt him during sex. I hoped I hadn't, but I knew it would be a repeat of last time if I didn't let him rest.
"Spoiling my fun." He sighed and closed his eyes. Nuzzling against me again. I touched his face. Brushing my fingers against his cheek.
"Beautiful."
"I know, darling, now get some sleep."
That I did. Instead of the haunting nightmare of my mother's murder. I dreamt of her. Peaceful. Having tea in the forest as I ran around as a child. Pure blissful rest.