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most vivid amongst the memories of his hometown was the old brick tower that stood at the very edge of a cliff.
many a story has he heard about this tower. long before the first bricks of their town’s foundations were laid, it already stood there, looking as arcane and as dilapidated as it did then. though its walls have witnessed generations’ worth of history, the origin and purpose of the tower itself remained a great mystery.
many claim that it was part of an old castle, torn down after it lost its purpose, having lost all its occupants in a merciless massacre that painted its ballroom with both royal and commoner blood. some supposes it used to be the bell tower of a church, abandoned after a young bride threw herself from its peak after being betrothed to a man she did not love, effectively cursing what was once hallowed grounds. still others believe it was a watchtower, made for an old miser who tried and failed to trick the devil. his guards were slain, his soul was dragged to hell, and his house became the devil’s home in the world of mortals. regardless of which rumor one believes in, one thing is a certainty. the place was ungodly, haunted. phantoms with inhuman faces and forms pop up from the most unexpected places, whispering lies and haunting secrets to lure mortals to the deaths that awaited them in the rough, murky waters underneath.
kai has heard of these tales since time immemorial. most nights, he and his sisters would sit in front of a small fire, wrapped in blankets and the warmth of their mother’s voice as she told them about tales that happened long before they were born. whenever she talks about the tower, the tale will inevitably in a warning: “never, ever approach that place as the devil himself had claimed it as its stomping ground.” she, unfortunately, failed to warn him about the little devil that dwelt alongside them: the cat.
one fine day, as they went out for play after a day in the theater, kai and her sisters found themselves wandering the town plaza. with its dirty, rocky decorations, the fountain that they have never ever seen at work, the scant tents, and the mundane items the sellers offered, there was nothing that could pique the interests of three young minds. but today was a tad different.
on top of the old brass fountain sat a cat that they have never seen before. its pristine white fur glistened in the sun. with its right eye as blue as the sea and the left, glowing green like a jade, it observed the populace from its towering seat. many of the townschildren gathered at fountain base, trying to appeal to it with snacks but were completely ignored. soon, the children lost their excitement and dissipated, giving way for the three siblings. however, as the cat’s eyes make first contact at the siblings, its disposition completely changed. it jumped down from its make-shift throne, wriggling through their legs and rubbing its furry face at their skin before meowing loudly.
“awww, what does the little kitty want?” hiyyih asked as she bent down to pet the cat’s head.
the cat slowly walked away, the siblings’ moods souring as they thought their new friend would leave them behind. but as if it understood the youngest’s words, it stared back and eagerly meowed at them. excitement once again awakened, the three followed the cat as it sauntered away from town.
the houses gave way to the fields which in turn, gave way to unkempt woodlands. the town’s hustle and bustle faded into the distance, replaced by snapping branches, and the comforting combination of the wind’s whistle, and birdsongs. scant sunlight filtered through the thick foliage, painting a sight that would’ve normally scared the three children, but with the eerily perceptive cat as their guide, there was nothing to fear.
that is until the wind brought to them the unmistakable roar of waves, and the scent and the taste of the sea. the forest opened up to a clearing that sure enough, led them to only one place, the cliff where the brick tower stood.
the sight of the dreaded place was enough to snap both girls out of their elated daze. hiyyih squeaked as both she and lea stopped in their tracks, opting to hide behind their brother, as if his still-developing and perpetually clumsy figure could offer any refuge should they prove the rumors true.
“maybe we should head home,” lea suggested, already taking her siblings’ hands. hiyyih responded with a desperately eager nod, yet kai remained unmoving, standing as still as the cat that has made itself comfortable, waiting for the siblings to cross that unseen threshold to what may be their ultimate demise.
“you two should go ahead.” kai shook them off. now that he was there, has seen it with his own two eyes, and sensed the lack of anything sinister from the place, curiousity was pushing him to learn more. sure, the threat of death was hanging on their heads right now, but has anyone actually stepped foot on the tower? how certain are they that the place was indeed haunted? if he were lucky, he could stumble upon some unexplored treasures that could help sustain their household for the next few days.
“have you lost your mind?” lea and hiyyih screamed at the same time.
maybe he was. recently, he has heard of news about a nearby town losing almost the entirety of its young population. the culprit was believed to be a piper who lured the children from the face of the earth with an irresistible, magical tune. kai felt he was under the enchantment of a similar tune, an unheard song that settled on his limbs like the strings on a marionette, its equally unseen master gleefully pulling him to the abandoned tower.
“i will be fine, trust me,” he tried.
“no, you will not! don’t you remember mother’s words? we shouldn’t even be here,” lea screamed at his face yet again, tightening her hold on the boy. behind her, hiyyih was begging him with her eyes, tears threatening to spill if they stayed there for a second longer.
kai flailed out of her grip. without lea’s arms to hold him back anymore, he started running towards the tower. from his peripheral, he spotted a white blur accompanying him, the cat bounding to the same destination as his. it meowed at him at a rapid pace, seemingly urging him to get to the tower as quick as he could. finally, with his lungs and legs burning in exertion, he collapsed onto the stone steps leading to the tower’s lone door. he laid there for a while, chasing his breath as he took in the features of this place at a closer proximity.
its red brick walls, darkened by age and abandon, stretched higher and higher, reaching a spot that mingled and blinded him with the sun’s bright rays. vines ran across the gaps, hiding cracks and holes with bright green leaves and peculiar, purple flowers that bloomed intermittently. from above him, sunlight reflected from the glass knob fixated on the wooden door, its rays bending to form tiny rainbows that danced for no one but him. from below, he registered the wetness growing on his tunic and the overwhelming scent of damp earth and moss. and from the distance, he heard the wind carry what he thinks was lea’s voice screaming, “do not haunt me if anything were to happen to you!”
he chuckled then. here he was, already lying in front of the supposedly accursed building but nothing has happened to him. lying down in his current spot felt no different as when he would lie down in the fields after a day of playing with his friends. surely, there was no way anything bad was going to happen to him, he thought to himself as he watched his sisters disappear back to the dense forest they passed through earlier.
the cat meowed at him, bringing his attention back to the little critter.
“thank you for not leaving me behind like they did. now, what shall we do here?”
in response, the cat stood on its hind legs before pawing on the door. kai winced as its nails make contact with the fragile wood. “your wish is my command, i guess.”
he stood up and gently held the knob in his hand. the glass orb stayed heavy and intact in his hands as opposed to his expectations. with one final glance to the cat and to the forest where his sisters have long disappeared, he twisted the knob and pushed the door open.
dust assaulted his senses as soon as the door was opened. when it settled alongside his coughing, he found himself in a room. to his front was a grand window with most of its panes broken or completely missing, giving him an almost unobstructed view of the great sea that stretched below this cliff. to his left was a spiral staircase, made of dull cobblestone that led to the upper levels of the tower. and to his right was an extension of the space occupied by two beds, a dining set, plenty of cupboards, and a fireplace that extended to the top of the tower.
kai approached the fireplace, finding small chests on top of the mantel. opening the first of the chests revealed trinkets. he wiped away the dust from them and found gems, all attached to heavy chains or dainty rings. the second chest contained a compass, a flashlight, a pair of binoculars, and a whistle, all as old and as heavy as the contents of the first chest. “do you think i can bring this home and sell them for a fortune? though i would be cursed if i do so, would i?” a rumbling sound came from the cat that now sat in front of the door, observing his actions. “you’re right. i’m already probably cursed just by touching them.” he shuddered but stashed the worry deep in his mind.
the final chest stood out from the other two. this chest was lighter and was made of deep brown wood adorned with gold gildings that hasn’t faded with time. he lifted it up, eager to closely see the way the gold formed flowing stems and flowers that he could not identify. a deep scratch making contact with his palm caught his attention and when he lifted it higher, he saw the letters cbg occupying the entirety of the chest’s bottom. curiosity piqued, he opened the final chest.
he found a knife and underneath it, a very faded photo. the knife weighed heavily on his palm and he brings it closer to inspect. the stems and flowers in the chest were also carved onto the wooden handle, and the silver blade gleamed as he held it under the sunlight. a pout formed on his lips when he noticed the large, rusty stains. shame that he would have to drop the price of such a precious item because of those.
he inspected the photo next. it captured two people, identities completely unknown as both of their faces have been cut away. they wore matching light tunics, a pair of dark shorts, and heavy boots. from behind them, kai could see the same tower, its appearance the complete opposite of its current state. tiny holes pierced all throughout the paper, and he flipped it in hopes of finding clues, only to drop it in surprise. the chest, alongside its contents, clattered to the floor.
“is there somebody down there?” someone voiced from above him.
kai slowly looked up. from the highest point of the tower peeked a head. he met its eyes for a second before the figure disappeared. he was about to make a run for it, only to be stopped when the same figure, he assumed, appeared right behind him.
“greetings, unknown person! what are you doing here?” the newcomer screamed, excitement dripping from his surprisingly deep voice.
kai stumbled back, hitting the floor where he left behind the contents of the chest. without realizing it, he has picked up the knife and held it in front of him, blade facing the stranger. said stranger suddenly looked glum as his eyes fell to the weapon that the fallen boy was brandishing.
“i’m sorry for scaring you. i won’t hurt you, trust me.” the newcomer rambled. his deep brown hair bounced as he seemed to dance around. he beamed his equally deep brown eyes at kai, his pink lips lifted in a smile, and a dimple poked his left cheek. judging from his clothes, which looked eerily similar to the one worn by the people in the photo, he’s older than kai but was a few inches shorter than him. he looked so much like a circle, kai thought. “you’re the first person to visit me in so many years, you see. i was just elated.” he finished, slightly breathless from his earlier proclamations that kai had completely missed.
“visit you?” kai realized. “do you live here?” then, that just proved that this place was not haunted at all!
“yes. wait, no. something in between?”
“what do you mean?”
“i mean, i live here but…” the other boy trailed off, giving him a weak smile instead. “you see, i am not exactly alive.”
“again, what do you mean?”
“simply put, i’m dead. for some time now, actually.”
the sight of the boy’s worried face was the last thing kai saw before he promptly passed out.
he did not remember what exactly happened after that. he woke up, panicking when he realized that the sunlight was now replaced with the glow of the full moon. he scrambled to stand, tapping his body and breathing in relief upon failing to see any injury. he’s alive. the boy had not done anything to him. he looked around, finding no traces of him. nothing have been moved out of place; not him, not the knife he held earlier, nor the wooden chest and the photo. the cat was still sitting by the doorway, silently staring at him.
“i should probably get home, right?”
the cat meowed at him. without taking anything, like he had initially planned, he made his way to the doorway.
he swore he heard a sad “goodbye” being whispered to him before he closed the door behind him.
in the days that followed, kai was haunted by memories of the tower and what may have happened there. when he returned home late that night, his mother had scolded him but it was his sisters who were furious at him, and rightfully so. they had asked kai what happened, what he had seen inside the tower, and try as he might to give them answers, he could not do so.
he knows he actually entered the tower. he can still see the layout of the room in the back of his lids, smell the dust that entered his lungs, hear the mighty roar of the seas beneath the cliff. it didn’t help that the cat had followed him all the way home and had been staying with them since then. but above all the things he could recall about his time in the tower, the boy intrigued him the most. the boy wasn’t there anymore when he woke up. he had also told kai that he lived there and that kai was the first person to have visited him. if he really lived there, somebody should have noticed the boy coming to and from the place that everyone else avoided. he would’ve occasionally gone to the town square to purchase items he needed and someone should have seen him before. the only possibility of him evading everyone else was if he really was dead, just as he had claimed so. but that can’t be possible. ghosts are not real, at least, according to kai. all those tales are only cautionary due to the precarious state that the tower was in. logically thinking, he probably just hit his head in a spare piece of wood, passed out, and dreamt the whole interaction.
but if the boy was not a ghost then, what was he doing there? that was the main question haunting kai all along. as far as kai could remember, he had been alone back then, and he appeared so excited at the prospect of having a visitor, even if kai could have been someone with more malicious intents. didn’t he need someone to be with him? didn’t he need help, especially if he was living all alone at such a dangerous and isolated place?
that was kai’s justification when, just a few days later, he found himself sneaking out of home to return to the tower. as if sensing where he was about to go, the cat was by his side again, guiding him to the path that they used to get to the tower the first time they went there.
“hello?” he called out when he opened the door, feeling more confident than the last time he was there. he did not hear anything other than the howling wind coming through the broken window and the now open door but just a few moments later, the boy who had been occupying his thoughts for the past few days appeared from the top of the staircase.
“you came back?” the boy asked him with wide eyes. kai could only nod in response.
“i figured you might need some help if you’re staying at such a dismal place.” kai explained as he made his way to the dining table, opening up the packet he brought to take out a small piece of bread, a pitcher of water, some matchsticks, and an old coat that did not fit him anymore.
“oh,” the boy remarked when he sees the items that kai had brought him. “thank you but i don’t need any of these. i wasn’t lying when i said i’m dead.”
“that is not a funny joke. and these are free, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“i am not joking,” he protested. “here, give me your hand.”
kai turned back and though he was hesitant, he did as the boy said so but he failed. his eyes widened as he watched his hand pass through the other boy’s hand, which in turn, faded into nothing for a few moments before reappearing as if nothing had happened.
“oh, you really are a ghost then?”
“i guess so.”
kai knew he should be scared. he had just confirmed that the tower was indeed housing at least one ghost yet he could not bring himself to leave just like that. he didn’t even know what he was supposed to do yet he felt the urge to stay by this boy’s side. at last, he asked, “are you going to hurt me?”
“no, why would i? you didn’t have anything to do with my death.” the boy replied with a shrug.
“i thought you would be angry that i disturbed your peace.”
the boy’s expression changed and his voice was tinged with giddiness as he explained, “you did not disturb my peace. i actually appreciate you coming here. it’s been ages since i got to talk to someone else.”
“really?”
“really.”
“then,” kai started, still not knowing what was prompting his current actions, “you wouldn’t mind if i stay here for a bit?
“not at all. my name is beomgyu. beomgyu choi.” the boy finally revealed as he made his way to one of the beds, making himself comfortable on it.
kai sat on the bed across him and with a smile, he replied, “i’m kai. kai kamal huening.” unable to hold his curiosity back, he asked, “say, beomgyu, what is this place?”
“a watchtower. what else could it be?”
“oh. you’re not the devil, are you?” kai inquired.
the laugh that came from beomgyu was playful, amused yet melodic at the same time. it was impossible to relate it to something impure and unholy. “kai, how could you say such a thing?”
kai told him the story about the old miser, one of the more horrifying ones among the legends told about the place.
beomgyu only sighed once he finished hearing the story. “if i were the devil, i would have chosen a more decent resting place than this.” with a sad smile, he looked around the dusty and disheveled room.
“kai, why do you keep on going back here?” beomgyu had asked during the third day he returned.
kai looked up at him from under the table before sneezing. hard. beomgyu giggled.
kai thought to himself. he himself did not know why he’s been secretly sneaking back to the tower in the past few days. he thinks it was the curiosity about the place, finding more questions than answers now that he’s actually been in the tower. maybe it was the juvenile excitement of being in a place that no one else would dare to enter. or maybe, it was beomgyu himself but kai had been trying to distract himself from that train of thought. regardless, he did find himself thinking about the tower and again and again, wanting nothing but to be there again.
“i don’t know either,” kai admitted.
“i’m glad you’re here though,” beomgyu admitted after a laugh.
kai felt himself going warm. he felt the same with beomgyu. though they’re not yet close, there was something that’s always calling him to beomgyu’s side. he did not even know how to act around beomgyu, having found it difficult to make friends for as long as he could recall. as an excuse, he’s cleaned up the entirety of the ground floor room: dusting off the entire space, and throwing and replacing the old beddings. to finish it all up, he was careful to return the photo and the knife in its former place before hiding it behind the other two chests, not wanting to see them both again.
to his relief, beomgyu took the lead in this developing friendship. he filled the silence with stories of things he experienced while he was still alive and sights he had witnessed when he passed. from what he had told, he seems to have led a very eventful life: waking up early in the morn to climb the tower and watch the sea for hours and hours on end. occasionally, he would spot something that would prompt him to rush back downstairs and ring a large bell that was now nowhere to be found, alerting the townspeople of incoming boon or bane. he talked of trading galleons that brought riches from other lands, of enemy ships that were successfully sank or sent back by the kingdom’s troops, of pirate ships that illegally docked in exchange of peculiar items. laughs escaped his lips when he talked of toto, a parrot that was given to him by one such pirate. the large green bird occupied a large cage that used to stand by the window, spending its days screaming nonsense at the waves below and the ships in the distance.
kai found it ironic how someone who has long been dead held more excitement than him who was still very much alive. beomgyu’s eyes shone whenever he talked and he made the most amusing sounds as he did so, even taking on different voices to present the people he used to interact with. his hands would fly around and kai did not know if he was even aware of the small dance he seemed to repeat every time the excitement appeared to be too much for his smaller frame. and his laughs. dear god, his laughs. the deep, clear sound never failed to make kai laugh as well and even when he was back in his bed by night, trying his best to fall asleep, he was haunted by the sound of it. he wanted nothing more but to hear it over and over again. he wanted nothing more but to be the reason behind those laughs.
when all was said and done, the room looked nowhere near the cozy room that kai shared with his sisters. traces of time long past and neglect still reeked at nooks and corners but it looked livelier than when he first visited. before he knew it, the supposedly ungodly tower had become his sanctuary and its resident ghost had become something of an acquaintance.
often, beomgyu would slip on his obvious mother tongue, a language that kai, thankfully, understood.
“ohhh, you can understand korean?” beomgyu asked in amazement after kai gave him the german translation of a phrase that he could only repeatedly mumble under his breath.
kai nodded. “it’s not obvious but my mother is korean.”
“really? what’s her last name?”
“jung.”
“oh.” beomgyu pouted. “i know it was highly unlikely but i wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of you being my descendant.”
kai looked at him, offended. “gyu, i’m more handsome than you. there’s no way we’d be related at all.”
beomgyu pouted even more but then, it disappeared just as quick. with a smile, he proclaimed, “i’m still your hyung though so you should call me that.”
“isn’t samcheon the more suitable honorific?”
beomgyu hit his shoulder. kai shuddered as he felt the older boy’s hand pass through him. “hey, stop that. it’s unpleasant.”
“i am not stopping until you call me hyung.” as he had claimed, he repeatedly slapped kai’s shoulders, laughing as he watched the younger boy tremble from the momentary cold.
“fine, fine!” kai screamed after a while. “can you please stop touching me, beomgyu harabeoji?”
beomgyu’s laughs only increased in fervor as he continued tormenting the younger boy.
“you brought food.” beomgyu remarked as kai entered the tower. true enough, kai had brought a basket with a small loaf of bread and a few shiny red apples. like a puppy, beomgyu trailed him to the table.
even though kai wanted to smile back at him, he did not have the energy to do so. with a sigh, he only rolled an apple towards beomgyu. the spirit, with his non-existent limbs, tried to catch it but it only fell to the ground. they watched as it rolled towards the cat.
“i won’t be able to eat those though.” beomgyu pouted. “and they look so good too.”
though it made him feel bad, kai continued ignoring him. instead, he laid down on one of the beds, the one on the right, which he had claimed for himself since that first day.
“kai, did you steal those apples?”
“i did not!” finally, he protested. “i just wanted to make this place look more homely, decent, as you have put it,” he explained, hoping that beomgyu would not detect the more selfish motive behind his actions.
beomgyu gave him a weak smile. “i know. thank you for that, really. you’re making my stay here much better but…” his voice trailed off. “kai, wouldn’t your parents worry about you?”
their gaze moved to the window where they both could see the sun settling in the horizon. in an hour or a half, it would completely disappear, and it would be too dark and too dangerous for kai to go out. he knew that but instead of making a move to leave, he stood up only to take out and light some candles. “they will, and i don’t care.” he hoped beomgyu did not hear it but belatedly regretted his words when he saw the latter flinch.
“kai,” beomgyu called, dropping his voice to a slightly threatening question.
“i don’t really want to be at home right now,” kai conceded. “hyung, would it make you uncomfortable if i stay the night here? i’d be safer here with you, right?”
conflicted emotions seemed to flicker in beomgyu’s eyes: fear, guilt, excitement, appreciation. kai only shared his guilt, knowing that he’d spoken the right words, successfully manipulated beomgyu when the spirit replied, “i’ve already told you that you can disturb my peace whenever you want.” a smile returned on beomgyu’s face though it was weak. kai knew that he was curious, worried, a combination of both, but to his relief, the latter did not prod.
“thank you.” he whispered, hoping that beomgyu got the deeper meaning this time. “can you tell me another story?”
beomgyu obliged and kai fell asleep, blanketed by a threadbare fabric and beomgyu’s warm voice and words.
in the days that followed, kai found himself spending more and more time in the tower, even spending more nights after that first one. slowly, life settled in the once-abandoned place. kai filled the cupboards with more food, blankets, random knickknacks, and old toys and books that none of them used anymore. upon learning that beomgyu loved stars, he also managed to save up for a star map which now hung beside beomgyu’s chosen bed.
“hyung?” kai had started. it was another one of those nights, when he did not have the energy to be as excited as beomgyu but the other boy would still try to comfort him. during those nights, he could feel the tension grow between them and he hated it so he longed for beomgyu’s stories. beomgyu knew this too, without him ever speaking up about it, but tonight was different, they both felt it.
“i’m sorry,” beomgyu started. “i’ve ran out of stories to tell you. why don’t you do the talking tonight?”
kai was taken aback. “what do you want me to talk about?”
“you, mostly.” beomgyu laid down on the bed across him.
“oh, well,” kai trailed off. there wasn’t really much he found interesting about his life but he heeded beomgyu’s request. he talked about his job at the theater, the few friends he had, and the games they would play. he talked about the few years he’s spent at school and what he learned from his teachers back then. he talked about the town center and that fateful day when they met the cat which led him to where he was right now.
“did you order that cat to go and fetch us that day?”
“this little guy?” beomgyu asked as he pet the head of the cat, which had made itself comfortable beside him. “no. i’m a spirit, kai, not a witch. i can’t do such a thing.”
“then how did it happen? he couldn’t have just randomly chosen to lead us here.”
beomgyu shrugged. “i don’t know either. all i know is this little guy appeared here some years back and never left anymore. he’d go out and probably beg for food but he’d always find his way back here. it’s strange but at least, i have some sort of company before you found this place.”
“then, have you given him a name?”
beomgyu shook his head. “i didn’t bother. he doesn’t respond to me anyway.” they both chuckled.
“hiyyih only called him kitty as well.”
“hiyyih?” beomgyu asked.
“my younger sister.”
“you’ve got a younger sister?”
“why are you so shocked? yes, i do. i have an older sister as well, lea noona.”
“tell me about them!”
kai did so.
“it must be wonderful, having siblings, growing up with a complete family.”
kai scoffed. as much as he loved lea and hiyyih, there are moments when he’d be deep into delusions about what kind of life he would’ve led without them. or what kind of life they’d be leading without him. either way, it felt like it would’ve been easier for their parents if neither of them existed.
“i wouldn’t say that.”
beomgyu looked at him with a quirk of his eyebrow.
“it’s just that, being complete doesn’t really equate to being wonderful. to being happy. if staying together would just hurt everyone else, wouldn’t it be better to just go separate ways?”
“is that what’s been happening at your home?”
kai closed his eyes. of course, beomgyu would notice. “i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have used you that way.”
beomgyu gave him a smile. “i can’t blame you for that. do you want to talk about it? i can’t do anything at all but i want to help you feel better.”
with a shaky breath, he began. “it’s my parents. i don’t know what changed between them but one day, i just woke up to the realization that they weren’t the lovely couple i watched while growing up. hell, at this point, they’re not even a couple anymore and it hurts me, seeing them act like complete strangers to each other. home doesn’t even feel like home anymore.”
to his surprise, he noticed large drops staining the floor he’s looking down on.
“for some time, i wondered why they couldn’t just try again. surely they loved each other if they got married, stayed together for years, and even had three kids but things really do change, do they? i know i should just accept it. i saw it coming and have done everything that i thought of to prepare myself but now that it’s slowly becoming my reality, i realized i can’t do it. it hurts and i don’t want it to become a part of my reality.”
“and i can’t tell anyone. i can never tell father and mother because what if i unintentionally force them to a decision that will just continue hurting all of us? that would be selfish of me. i have to be a strong and reliable brother to hiyyih and i also can’t possibly add up to noona’s problems. none of my friends would understand too so who am i supposed to turn to?”
silence. only his soft sobs filled the space they’re occupying.
“and then, i just happened to stumble upon this place and meet you. you must’ve been so lost and alone and i really wanted to be your friend too but since we’ve met, i only took and took from you and never gave back. i’m sorry. i’m deeply sorry for using you like that.”
“kai-ya, can i hug you?” beomgyu asked to which kai nodded. the younger boy shivered at the slight touch of cold suddenly surrounding him but he relished the feeling of having beomgyu this close.
“kai-ya, thank you.”
he sniffled before looking up at his hyung. “for what?”
“for having the courage to go up here. for continuously visiting me and making this place feel more like home. for being my friend, giving me your trust, and baring your thoughts and your heart to me right now.”
“you see, kai, you’ve always given me something. ever since that first day you came up here. you gave me the company and friendship i’ve longed for. an ear that will listen to all my ramblings. the feeling of home and comfort in a place that has felt like a prison. And you gave me that star map too!”
“i’ve always felt selfish too, you know. i’ve always thought that i’m holding you back from living your life outside the tower. i’m sorry i can’t be of bigger help but whenever you need someone, i will always be here for you.”
that afternoon, when kai decided to return home, both his parents were nowhere to be found. when he asked lea where they were, she did not answer, instead inviting them for an early supper and asking him and hiyyih about their days. he said that he spent the day with a good friend so it had been a good one.
“it’s almost that time of the year,” kai remarked as he entered the tower. winter was fast approaching. these days, the heavy scent of salt in the air had an additional sharpness coming from the cold. the verdant tree crowns tarnished into the color of rust before fully shedding, falling, and covering the town grounds. earlier this morning, he left his mother and his sisters painting their own lanterns, much like the rest of the town’s residents.
upon seeing the plain cubic frame in his hand, beomgyu’s eyes lit up. “it’s a lantern!”
“it is,” kai chuckled. “do you want to decorate this with me? i can’t seem to think of a good design.”
“yes, yes!” beomgyu screamed but then, his lips fell into a pout. “i can’t hold a pen or a brush though.”
“tell me what you want to see here. i’m not the most creative but i’ll try my best to draw it.”
“what do you usually draw in there?”
“just animal drawings. i always wanted to draw a penguin but mother told me not to because it’s a shame. says lions and wolves are more appropriate.”
“then you should draw that penguin. let’s just hide it here so your mother won’t know.”
kai was delighted by the idea. digging out the paints that he had brought, he easily picked out the small tubes of black, white, and orange. a comfortable silence settled between them as kai started drawing a pudgy figure with the paints. unexpectedly, he managed to finish a decent-looking drawing in a short amount of time. with an eager smile, he showed it to beomgyu.
“that’s adorable. what about the space beside him?”
“ah.” kai averted his gaze. “i’m the penguin because they’re my favorite animal. how about you, hyung? what do you want me to draw for you?”
beomgyu gasped before clapping his hands. “a bear. for some reason, my parents used to call me a bear.”
kai continued humming as he drew the requested bear. it wasn’t easy but he was lucky to have brought an old teddy bear that was staring back at them from the fireplace. after a just few more moments, with the teddy as his reference, he showed it to beomgyu. the older boy responded with a big smile.
“let’s release it together, alright? i’ll be sure to come here during the night of the festival.”
kai kept his promise. on the evening of the festival, he sneaked out again. the lantern had been finished, thankfully, with beomgyu belatedly suggesting that he add a chain of daisies to connect the two animal drawings. with that done, all that was left to do was to light the candle inside and release it into the night sky.
“will it be safe to go up there?” kai asked, looking up at the top of the tower where he first caught sight of beomgyu.
beomgyu shrugged. “it’s been so long since an actual human climbed up there. why?”
“i was thinking of releasing the lantern from up there.”
“have you lost your mind?” beomgyu screamed, making kai chuckle at the familiar question.
“maybe i have, and that’s fine. if i wasn’t out of my mind, i wouldn’t be here talking to you like this.” he chuckled.
“nonsense! you can get hurt, or even possibly die.”
“great! then, we’ll be together for as long as we both want.”
“that’s not a funny thing to say, kai.”
“i know, i’m sorry. but please, let me just try. i swear, if i hear as much as a crack, i’m going back down here. please.” kai pleaded, and beomgyu, bless his good, unbeating heart, was not able to resist him.
fortunately, whoever built the tower had been a very efficient worker. not once did the staircase falter as kai made his way to the top. rather than the destination ahead of him and the possibility of his steps suddenly giving out on him, kai’s mind was fixated on the boy effortlessly gliding right next to him. he imagined what it must’ve been like for beomgyu: to wake up every day and take the exact same steps to fulfill the responsibility that has been placed on him. he wondered what beomgyu thought of, what he felt as he climbed higher and higher. he wondered what beomgyu did to while away the time as he waited for something to appear from the horizon. with beomgyu by his side, he hoped to get some answers from him.
kai shivered as the cold breeze kissed his exposed skin. the upper level of the tower was void of anything, only a room that extended, surrounding the room that they were occupying. with a careful step, he treaded towards the small balcony. when they were both assured that it will hold his weight, kai stepped out and looked down. below, the angry waves ceaselessly clashed with the dark rock in which the tower stood. he gulped in fear but decided to avert his gaze to the inky dark that stretched more than his eyes could reach. soon, pretty little lanterns would shine alongside the moon and the stars. he smiled as he imagined his own lantern joining its brethren in the sky.
“shall we?” he asked beomgyu to which the latter responded with an eager nod.
he struck a match. with bated breaths, they both watched as kai brought the lit matchstick inside the lantern. one, two, three times did he touch the wick before a great flame emerged. tightly holding onto it, they waited until the first lanterns emerged from the town. great fireflies, reflecting a plethora of colors, dotted the sky as they rose higher and higher. as they approached the tower, beomgyu looked to kai.
“aren’t you releasing yours as well?”
kai would but before that, he asked, “do you want to make a wish? the lantern might bring it up to the heavens.”
beomgyu immediately clasped his hands and closed his eyes, muttering a silent prayer to the lantern held between them. kai noted the way the flame seemed to amplify beomgyu’s beauty. his long eyelashes kissed the high of his cheek, and his smile never leaving his bright face. though he knew it was impossible, kai swore he saw color in the other boy’s cheeks, a shade of pink that perfectly complemented the liveliness that he never ceases to radiate. a few moments later, his eyes fluttered open and with a smile still, he asked, “how about you? have you made your wish?”
kai had not. those were not the purpose of the lanterns after all but who was he to deny any request from this beautiful boy in front of him? he closed his eyes, and similar to what beomgyu did earlier, whispered a silent plea to the lantern he held.
no matter what happens to us in the future, please let beomgyu be happy.
when he was done, he slowly released the lantern. up and up into the air it went, the wind blowing it towards the rest of the lanterns. kai desperately wished that the heavens do lend an ear to his and beomgyu’s wishes.
as they watched the last of the lanterns disappear in the distance, beomgyu began. “i’ve always been curious about them. back when i was still alive, there was no such annual event. though i also rarely ever leave this tower so i can’t be so sure. what are these lanterns for?”
“i’m also uncertain as to how long has this tradition being going on for but from what i know, it started after one of the major wars. the lanterns are a way to honor all the people who died in that war and the ones the preceded and followed it.”
kai looked back, completely taken aback by the boy’s sudden interest in the lanterns. after all, he himself did not really understand the meaning behind the practice. to his surprise, he found beomgyu doing something completely unexpected.
“hyung, are you crying?”
as if he did not expect it himself, beomgyu swiped at his cheeks. they watched in amazement as a glistening tear stained beomgyu’s hand. “am i?” he laughed weakly.
“are you okay? what’s happening?”
“i’m fine,” beomgyu assured him as he continued rubbing away the tears that stubbornly flowed to his cheeks. “are you certain though? that’s what the lanterns are for?”
kai nodded earnestly, relief slowly coming back to him when beomgyu lifted his gaze. a smile, weak yet genuine, was back on his face.
“here i was, deluding myself into thinking that the lanterns were for me but it turned out to be a reality.”
kai immediately understood but he chose not to speak on it. instead, he tried to hold beomgyu’s hands. it was strange, holding nothing but a cold draft that stayed unmoving between his fingers but he held on. “yes, they have always been for you, and now that you know it, you can always look forward to the next festival and watch them with me.”
beomgyu chuckled as he felt kai shudder. “shall we go back down?”
upon finding themselves back at the comfortable space below, kai felt no rush to go back home. surely, his family would have already gotten used to him staying out without him saying. he just did not want to leave beomgyu alone for tonight.
“kai,” he heard beomgyu call in the dark. he hummed to show that he was still awake and listening.
“thank you for staying with me.”
“it’s nothing. for once, the festival became had meaning for me. who would’ve thought that one of the heroes i used to hear from my mother is now my best friend?”
beomgyu chuckled lightly. “it wasn’t anything like that. i got killed before i could actually do something other than ringing that bell.”
“it still is something. if i was in your position, i would’ve already ran out of here. loyalty to the king and the kingdom be damned.”
beomgyu laughed again, void of any genuine happiness. “loyalty be damned indeed. i was killed by someone i considered an ally after all. pathetic, isn’t it?”
“not at all, hyung. if the enemy had to send a false friend to get rid of you, you must’ve been a great threat to them.”
“you speak so highly of me. it wasn’t the enemy who led him to that decision. it was madness, an all-consuming madness borne from the impending war and our inevitable deaths without even seeing our families back at home. and i just happened to be his unfortunate victim.”
after a while, beomgyu asked again. “you’ve seen him, haven’t you? that photo that you hid in that chest.”
kai hummed again. now he understood: the untold tale of that stained knife and the cut out faces.
“have you forgiven him?” kai asked, recalling the words “i’m sorry” scrawled all over the back of the photo.
beomgyu hummed in affirmation. “at the very least, i hope the enemy granted their side of the deal, if there really was one. i hope that he was able to go back to his home and to his family after what he did.”
kai hoped he did not but he did not tell beomgyu so. beomgyu should have been angry, rightfully so, but his friend really was too pure and too kind for the world and the time that he was born in. not wanting to add to beomgyu’s sadness, he asked, “my grandma said that those lanterns are also a way to guide the soldiers’ souls home or to heaven. if you could follow them out of this tower, where would you like to go?”
“i wouldn’t.” beomgyu surprised him with the response. “if i did, we wouldn’t have met, nor would we be together like this.”
“you wouldn’t want to go home?”
“whether i like it or not, this is my home now.”
“then, do you like it here or not?”
“with you here with me, yes. i do like it a lot.”
“where were you last night?” lea asked as soon as kai had entered their house.
“nowhere. a friend’s?” kai replied before collapsing on the sofa, trying his best to conceal the smile on his face. the smile dropped when he hears lea scoff.
“a friend’s huh? as far as i can recall, you don’t have talk to anyone other than the bauers and you weren’t at their home last night.”
kai faced her, brows furrowed in confusion and annoyance. “why do you care?”
the door to their shared room squeaked open. hiyyih peeked out, hair disheveled and eyes bloodshot. with a whimper in her voice, she asked, “are you two fighting as well?”
“no,” they both rushed to reply.
“go back to sleep, hiyyih. we only need to talk.” lea assured her. when the youngest retreated back to their room, she returned her attention to the boy.
with a heavy sigh, lea began, “we needed you here last night yet nobody knew where you were.”
kai chose to ignore the question. instead, he asked back, “what do you mean you needed me here last night? did something happen?”
lea sighed, now avoiding her brother’s gaze. “they’ve done it. they’re living separately from now on. and it would be better if you go with father.”
“go where?”
“back at grandma’s.”
kai’s heart dropped. he can’t possibly leave them behind. he can’t possibly leave beomgyu behind. moving to a town tens of miles away from home is just not acceptable. “you can’t just make that decision for me. i’m staying here with you.”
“are you really staying here with us? or are you locking yourself up in that tower again?”
kai held his breath. he was fairly sure nobody else but beomgyu and the cat knew about his constant visits but it seemed like he wasn’t as sneaky as he has assumed he was. “so you knew all along? does hiyyih and mother know?”
lea shook her head. “i didn’t want them to worry more but kai, this is the perfect chance for you to get away. for all we know, you might have fallen victim to a curse. whatever enchantment you’re under may disappear if you stay somewhere far away.”
“you’re the one who’s got the wrong impression. nothing in that tower can and will hurt me.”
“are you certain about that, kai? you’ve never acted like this before. you never sneaked out. you never lied. you never kept secrets from us, from me. haven’t you noticed how distant you’ve become in the past months?”
“that has nothing to do with the tower. that was the only place i could find peace hence why i keep on going there. nothing is wrong with me, noona.” he pleaded.
“i’m sorry kai but you don’t have a choice.” with a pained look, she dropped the final nail in the coffin. “they’ve made their decision and father’s already leaving. tonight.
kai ran.
much like that first morning, with the same destination in mind, he ran as if his life depended on it. the stark difference was the sting in his throat, the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, the heavy weight sinking deeper into his stomach, the turmoil of pain, loneliness, and dread settling in his chest hurting him more than the lack of air in his lungs and the strain in his legs. as soon as he opened the door, he collapsed to the floor. still heaving from the effort and not seeing beomgyu around, he screamed.
“hyung!” he sobbed, finally letting the hurt overwhelm his senses. through unshed tears, he saw the silhouette of a boy sitting in front of him before feeling an unnatural but now comforting cold wrap around his trembling figure.
“kai, are you okay? are you hurting anywhere? please talk to me,” beomgyu pleaded.
“hyung,” was the only word that kai could repeat as he imagined the future ahead of him. away from the place that had reared him since birth, the place where every nook and corner was dreary yet familiar to him. away from his mother and his sisters whom he cherishes more than anyone else. away from the two places and the one and only person that he called his home.
beomgyu continued to comfort him without probing, instead repeatedly whispering the phrases, “you’re fine,” and “i’m here for you.” hearing the words only broke his heart further. yes, he trusts beomgyu to be there for him but soon, he wouldn’t be there for the older boy, and that was not fine at all.
after what seemed like hours, his eyes finally ran out of tears to shed. the pain was still present, digging deeper into his bones as the hours trickled by and the sky grew darker and darker. as much as he wanted to cry more, to let his anguish out, he was too exhausted to do so. he laid down on his chosen bed, watching beomgyu who sat in front of him, his head resting on one arm and the other gently stroking the top of kai’s head.
“hi,” beomgyu greeted.
with a weak smile, kai greeted him back, “hi hyung. i apologize for crying to you like that.”
“it’s okay. do you want to talk about it?”
“i don’t want to,” kai sighed. “but we may or may not have the time to talk in the future so i will have to.”
beomgyu’s eyebrows furrowed in worry but he waited for kai to speak up. “well, my parents are now officially separated so they will be living separately from now on. without even waiting for me or asking me what i wanted, they decided that i’m going with my father.”
“going where? i’m assuming, his hometown.”
kai hummed in agreement. “a town around ten towns away.”
beomgyu whistled. “is it that bad in there?”
kai shook his head. “it’s been years since i last saw my grandparents so i miss them greatly. and with only me there, father said i could go back to school.”
“then that is a great opportunity for you! you should go with him,” beomgyu cheerfully suggested.
“what? and leave you here alone? i can’t do that, hyung.”
beomgyu placed his cold hands on kai’s shoulders, prompting the younger boy to sit up. without taking his hands off or breaking their eye contact, he reminded kai again, “kai, you’re alive, and you have a life outside of this tower. me? i’m already gone. i know i have overstayed my welcome in this realm i must not take from this world anymore yet you’re still exerting so much effort to keep me company. i appreciate it, i swear, but your life should not revolve around someone like me.”
“and i’ve told you before, haven’t i? i have always felt selfish. as much as i love having you here, it would also hurt me more knowing that i am holding you back from a chance to make your life better.”
“hyung,” he started but beomgyu cut him off.”
“kai, take this chance. go and see your grandparents again. go back to school and carve the path that you desire for your future. if fate permits it, we will surely meet again.”
he thought that he had no tears left to cry but upon seeing his hyung’s genuine smile, he could not stop himself from tearing up again. “but what about you? you’re going to be lonely again.”
“i will try not to. for you. i will hold onto the memories we made and the life that you have breathed back to this place so i’m certain i will never feel alone ever again. besides, i also have bbokku.”
“bbokku?”
beomgyu nodded his head with a hum. “the cat. well, i do hope he stays here with me but who knows what goes on in that fellow’s head?” he chuckled before looking back again at kai. “really, i’ll be fine kai.”
a loud voice interrupted their conversation. from the distance, they both hear kai’s name being called.
“your mother?”
“my noona.”
“i’m guessing it’s time for you to go then.”
kai only nodded, certain that the tears would start flowing again if he spoke about it out loud. as they heard the voice coming closer, he stood from the bed and approached the door.
“goodbye, kai. thank you for everything. take care.”
he held the knob in his hand, the glass orb familiar in all its cuts and edges, reminiscent of the time when he stood on the other side of the door and hesitating to open it. had things been easier if he had changed his mind back then? would it hurt less if he and beomgyu did not meet at all? he looked back to see beomgyu sitting on his bed, looking at him with teary eyes and lips pursed in an attempt to keep his smile. he remembered all those times when beomgyu gave him a genuine smile, all those times when he was the reason for that beautiful look on beomgyu, and he decided that everything was worth it. that when given the chance to change things, he would not hesitate to muster the courage to go in the dreaded tower and meet beomgyu again. he’d even do it earlier to ensure that they had more time together.
but for now, he had to go. for how long would he be gone? he did not know but one thing is for certain,
“beomgyu-hyung,” he called out to the boy. “whether fate permits it or not, i will find a way to go back to you. i’ll see you later.” and with that, he stepped out and closed the door behind him.
kai looked at his reflection in the mirror. staring back at him was the same face he knew all his life but many years have passed. he’s grown taller and had to bend down to see his face in the mirror. his hair had grown longer, his cheeks less full, the angles on his face sharper, and his shoulders broader. lea and hiyyih had been so shocked to see him again. he looked forward to seeing if beomgyu would be as shocked as them.
he walked the same path he used to take when he was younger, letting his memories guide him to the right direction. soon, he found himself in the town plaza, a completely changed version of it. the stone pathway had been filled with new bricks, and the weed and wildflowers that grew in between the cracks were completely gone. the mishmash of discarded fabric that composed the stalls he had grown used to had been replaced by faint white tents that seemed to glow under the sunlight. and for once, the fountain was working, spewing water in decorative arches that coaxed mini rainbows. kids crowded the bottom of the fountain, their attention all on one thing on top of the polished centerpiece.
with his white fur multicolored eyes, and the annoyed yet fond meow he gave the boy, kai immediately recognized him as bbokku, his old pal. bbokku recognized him as well. much like that summer all those years ago, he jumped off the fountain and rubbed himself on kai’s long legs before guiding him away from the plaza and into the forest.
finally, the tower came into view. nostalgia hit him as he took in the strong scent of salt in the air. judging by the more overgrown grass and the thicker vines running along the walls of the tower, nobody had disturbed beomgyu’s peace in the years that he was gone. he had no idea whether the thought made him feel relieved or more miserable.
the glass doorknob had grown dusty and cold to the touch, only growing warmer by the second as he continued holding onto it. beomgyu had promised that he would always be there for him and he held onto that, the older boy’s words giving him strength and hope despite the lack of contact between them but now that he was back, doubts were crawling out of the deepest and darkest recesses of his mind? what if beomgyu had forgotten about him? what if he had lost what’s left of his humanity and became a completely lost and evil phantom? what if he’s resolved whatever remaining issue he had and had already vanished from existence? there was only one way to find out. with a deep breath, he opened the door.
now prepared, he was able to close his eyes and cover his mouth before the dust could attack him once again. after a few moments of letting the dust and his coughs settle, he opened his eyes to a very familiar sight: the sunlight filtering through the curtains, covering the large, broken window. between the gap and the cracks, the great blue sea stretched further than his eyes could see. the room next to him had been unchanged. one of the beds was unmade, its blanket having completely fallen to the ground, while the other was completely untouched. everything from the beds, to the dining table, to the toys and the books that he had left behind were covered with a thick layer of dust. he would have a lot of cleaning up to do again.
and there on his chosen bed sat the unchanging boy that had never left his mind for once. warmth spread throughout his face and he could not stop his lips from stretching to an amused grin as he watched the older boy’s eyes widen and his jaw drop before he gives kai the smile that he had missed seeing.
“you’re back! you actually came back!” beomgyu beamed at him.
“of course, i would!” kai returns his bright smile.
he dropped to the bed right next to the boy, ignoring the cloud of gray that stained his clothes and made him cough yet again. “and now, i’ll make sure never to leave you again, hyung.”
beomgyu’s smile melted to a subtle yet endeared gaze. no words were spoken for a while as the two basked in the warmth and comfort brought about by their reunion.
“tell me what you’ve been up to while you were gone.”
“only if you return the favor.”
“okay! did you know that bbokku was female all along? she had kittens and they…”
kai let beomgyu’s excited voice drown out the rest of his doubts. beomgyu was still here and he was still as lively and as bright and as caring and loving as he was when they last saw each other. they may have lost several years’ worth of memories but now, they had all the time in the world to make up for it.
just like that, he and beomgyu found their home again.