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“Dear, The Mr Potters. Yeah Regulus, I know you’re watching.”
“Oh this is going to be amazing.” James could feel his boyfriend’s laughter against his chest where he was curled up like a cat. Only ten seconds in they had to pause the video, unable to hear it over their laughter.
Tonight was an event.
James and Regulus had been waiting forty-eight whole hours for this. They barely slept in the last two days. The anticipation was killing them.
Two days ago, Evan appeared at the door of James’ off-campus flat.
“Hey Evan, what’s up?” James asked as he greeted him at the door.
“I’m here on behalf of Barty.”
Exactly one week ago, Bartemius Crouch Jr had trashed James’ flat. It wasn’t intentional, he hadn’t meant to. He had just been drunk. Very, very, drunk. The kind of drunk where he was walking around with one eye open by the end of the night.
Everyone was returning from winter break. The first night, it was only James, Remus, Dorcas, and Barty. The group decided to go out. Barty, who was wallowing in his sorrows of having to spend one more day without Evan, overserved himself.
Right at the end of the night, it began to flurry, and at the same time Barty began to turn a pale shade of green. The group made it all the way to James and Remus’ apartment and the moment they stepped through the door, Barty crumpled to the floor.
“Twenty-four hours is just such a… long… time…” He slurred where he lay curled up on the floor.
James, who was a little drunk, but still had his wits about him, lowered to the ground, meeting him where he was. “Barty, hey,” James whispered at the blubbering mess beside him. “I know right now, that feels like a long time. But when you wake up tomorrow it’ll only be twelve. And then it will be ten. And then, before you know it, he’ll be here.”
“But he’s not here now. And it’s snowing, and cold, and I’m lonely.”
“Want to call him?” Dorcas asked from where she stood in the kitchen. She was staring out the window.
“It’s not the same thing. It’s not the same thing at all.” Barty cried softly into the floor.
“I think Barty and I are going to have to crash here for he night. Wicked storm out there. Is that alright?” Dorcas asked as she turned to face James.
“No problem,” James smiled.
“I guess,” Remus shrugged.
Barty sat up and puked.
James was the only one sober enough to clean up after Barty. He stayed up with him as he leaned over the toilet, alternating between puking and crying on the floor. Dorcas popped in every once in a while, drowsily adding to the incoherent conversation.
“Barty, you’re going to regret it if you don’t try and drink some water now. It’s been an hour since you last puked, I think you’ll be fine–”
“Shut up Potter, or I’ll puke on you.”
It was the last thing he said before he drifted off. James fell asleep sitting up against the tub next to Barty, and when he woke, Barty was gone, along with Dorcas.
A few hours later, as Sirius and Regulus moved into their respective flats, James received a text from Dorcas.
dorcas
good morning james! barty
and i got home safely this morning.
we thanked remus on the way out,
crazy fucker was awake already.
probably never even went to sleep.
fyi barty is embarrassed.
dont think he’ll show face
for a few days.
And he didn’t. For a few days James didn’t hear from him. He knew he was okay. He lived with Regulus, who spent most of his time with James, so he gave him the rundown. It was like that until the day Evan showed up and delivered the best news James and Regulus had ever heard in their lives.
“Barty had been trying to work up the courage to apologize, but he just can’t do it in person. He wanted me to…” Evan cleared his throat.
“Wanted you to what, Evan?” Regulus asked, and James knew him well enough to know he was trying very hard not to laugh.
“He wanted me to ask you if he could send an apology. In video form.”
James, of course, accepted the offer, and when Evan was gone he and Regulus spent ten minutes just sitting on the couch giggling. He didn’t need an apology from Barty, but he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity for a personalized video made just for him.
So there James and Regulus lay, surrounded by an assortment of snacks and a barricade of pillows, tucked comfortably under the comforter. James was propped up so that Regulus could snuggle into him. Barty had sent James the link to an unlisted YouTube video, titled i’m sorry for being a menace all of the time but especially the other night *EMOTIONAL* (NOT CLICKBAIT.)
The video was ten minutes long. They were only ten seconds in and already, it was the best thing James had ever watched. Once their laughter died down, James reached forward, his fingers hovering on the space bar.
“Should we continue?” He managed through choked laughter.
“Please.” He could feel Regulus nodding against him.
He pressed the spacebar, and the video continued.
“I am sorry I am so cowardly as to hide behind Evan. You must think so little of me, using him as my pigeon. Nonetheless, I thank you for giving me the opportunity to humble myself.”
Regulus snorted. James reached for the bowl of popcorn on the nightstand beside them.
“First and foremost, the carpet. I want to apologize. I want to sit here and be able to say that I am sorry for the atrocity that was committed on it. Pickles, pizza rolls, half a jar of peanut butter, and nine shots of tequila do not taste so good coming back up. That is conjecture, I was actually too fucked up to remember, but the point still stands. I am sure it was not fun to clean.”
“He’s right, it was awful,” James confirmed aloud for Regulus.
“But–” Barty continued.
“There’s a but?” Regulus asked.
“I cannot apologize for that. James Fleamont Potter, you have terrible taste. I mean that shag lion print carpet was desperate for an excuse to be retired. Evan and I have had many a long conversation about just how terribly tacky that thing is. If anything, you should be thanking—”
James lunged forward to pause the video. James and Regulus’ laughter was so powerful and pure, it lit up the room, making their ribs hurt.
When James first came to university three years ago, he was terrified he wouldn’t make any friends. That he would be alone. But here he sat, in a fit of laughter so uproarious it made him sore, beside the love of his life, watching a YouTube apology video that his friend was kind enough to make for him. Even if it included insulting his decorating skills. But that was Barty, he told you he loved you by making you laugh. It was what they all loved about him.
James pressed play again as he and Regulus’ laughter finally died down.
“— me for giving you an excuse to get rid of that carpet. The hallway I am more sorry about, and the bathroom floor was just bad aim. Dorcas told me I threatened to puke on you, and though I want to be sorry for that, I am not. I mean, someone has to. You’re a lad who looks like he hasn’t been puked on enough. It is a truly humbling experience, and I actually regret my inability to follow through on that one.
“I’d apologize for crying, but you already know I can’t do that. I might’ve been messy, but at least I was memorable in my pining. Evan received a first hand retelling of the night from Dorcas which had him doubled over on the floor, and any excuse to hear him laugh like that was worth it.
“All of this to say, Potter, I’m sorry that you had to look after me. I am not sorry that you had to toss the carpet. Good riddance to that hideous thing.”
James’ head snapped to Regulus as the video ended. “Did you tell him I threw it out?”
“Maybe,” Regulus shrugged, leaning in to kiss James on the cheek as he reached for his phone.
barty
barty, bravo!! excellent vid.
in all seriousness i’m glad you’re in my life
all yakking sins forgiven
thanks potter it means a lot
glad you’re in my life too :)