Work Text:
Growing up, Ricky never really felt supported by his family, mostly his father. To him, his father was basically everything he wanted to be as a man. Of course, his father did not care. All he ever did was push Ricky away and get mad at him. Oh well. As he grew older he forgot about that childish optimism that wanted to be like dear ol' dad. He grew into his own man, one that he could feel at least a little proud of. The insecurity was still there of course, as his father made sure to remind him what a real man should be like every time he visited home. He would grow used to it after a while. For some reason though, this most reason visit seemed to kill off any confidence Ricky had.
"You're no son of mine, much less a daughter. No child of mine should ever end up like you."
The words felt like a spirit haunting the house that was his brain. It was awful.
He kept it bottled up though, he had a tour to go on and a job to do. He shouldn't be bothering anyone with such nonsense. The band barely knew about his father anyway, so it wouldn't matter.
Spencer picked up on this though, he could tell there was something eating away at Ricky. He couldn't just stand by and let it be bottled up until he eventually burst in a meltdown. That had happened a few times, and each time guilt ate away at both parties, Ricky, for not saying anything, and Spencer, for not intervening.
He carefully approached Ricky, who was watching some dog videos on Instagram, sat down and wrapped an arm around him. Ricky glanced at him and gave him a small, nervous, smile. Spencer contemplated how to bring the subject up.
"Hey, Rick," he started, trying to make his tone sound anything but flat, "..is there anything, uhm, on your mind? Like something bothering you at all? I've noticed you've seemed a bit down the past couple weeks, it makes me sad to see you like that."
Ricky paused, clicking the off button on his phone, "Uh...kinda," he mumbled with a shrug, chewing on the nail of his thumb. Spencer gently pulled the thumb from Ricky's mouth, the nail biting was a habit they were trying to eliminate. "It's not really anything, uh, serious."
He frowned, seeing right through the lie.
"Uh-huh. Well, I'm here if you want to talk about it," he hums, running a hand up and down Ricky's arm in an attempt to be soothing, "I'd rather have you tell me something 'not serious' then have you real upset, y'know?"
Ricky nods, biting the inside of his cheek. He doesn't know if he should take Spencer's word, it takes a lot for him to speak up.
"I-I guess it's my dad, you know how he is," he finally says, looking down at his lap.
Spencer nods, silently telling him that he is indeed listening and there to support him.
"I'm used to him saying hurtful things, never accepting me for being...y'know. But he uhm-" he paused, sniffling, "he...uhm said I didn't even count as a daughter to him. I think...that hurt more than anything he's done."
Spencer nodded once more, pulling Ricky into a gentle embrace.
"I'm sorry, I really am, I know that can't be easy," he mumbles into his partner's hair as he leaves a small kiss on the top of his head.
"He's always been weird about me, even when I was just a kid- I-I just don't get it. Why does he hate me so much? Why does he want me to hate myself?" Ricky's voice cracks as his throat begins to burn from the tears in his eyes, "I've wanted nothing more than to make my dad proud of me- and he just hates everything about me. At some point it can't just be him being weird- Maybe there is something wrong with me," he chokes out, now weeping into Spencer's chest.
Spencer rubs his back, nodding along, "There's nothing wrong with you, Ricky. There never was. I know how much his approval would mean to you...but at the end of the day you matter so much more than his shitty opinion. You don't deserve to be treated like that by him. And if it helps, I'm proud of you," he gives him another kiss.
He doesn't respond this time, just burying his face into Spencer's chest as he lets out the last tears of grief for the relationship he never had with his father.
He knew that it really didn't matter anymore. He was so much more than he could've been if he followed in his father's footsteps.