Chapter Text
The happy couple had been married for almost a week now. Coilette felt on top of the world, she couldn't believe she was finally married. She'd won at life.
It was early in the morning and Coilette was watching Calculon do some gardening. He was not great at it, but at least the bushes looked funny. Also it was cool that Calculon found a new hobby he enjoyed, she supposed.
Though she had planned to watch TV that morning, she was content just watching her husband and his hilarious attempts at landscaping.
Calculon still hadn't noticed her watching him. Good, she thought, it'd be embarrassing to be caught looking at him enamoured in such a mundane situation.
Then he turned his attention to the window and saw Coilette. He waved and she covered her face with her hands, flustered.
He got back to the gardening and failed as miserably as before.
He was lucky he wasn't human. Coilette had seen just how painful and gnarly it looked to get into accidents when you've got skin and blood and stuff. Fry had accidentally taught her a lot about what happened if a human was stupid enough to get into various bizarre accidents. A miracle that meatbag was still alive, really.
The bushes looked absolutely horrendous. Huge holes, twigs sticking out, just atrocious. At least Calculon was having fun.
She watched him with sincere love in her eyes and thought about their future together.
What would it be like?
What would change?
What would stay the same?
Coilette caught herself staring again. Whenever she felt too strongly or sincerely about something she'd feel embarrassed about it. There was probably something to that, but she didn't really care. That was future Coilette's problem.
Tomorrow she'd return to Planet Express.
She hadn't worked in a while because of all the wedding stuff, but that was dealt with now and she was ready to get that back to normal.
As for Calculon, he hadn't actually talked much about what he planned to do now.
He'd talked about quitting "All My Circuits", but could he really do that?
Was his contract gonna prevent him in any way?
What would happen to the show?
Part of Coilette felt bad about the idea of "All My Circuits" ending, or even just Calculon being re-cast.
Well, for now she had other things to think about.
What do wives...do, exactly?
'Cause she barely had experience with just being a fembot, let alone a wife.
Was she supposed to do housework now? ....Was she always supposed to do that?
In the middle of her thoughts Coilette saw Calculon walk away from the garden, then heard him open the door.
"Was it a good show?" he axed from behind her.
She quickly turned around, a look of surprise and shock in her eyes. "Hey, don't sneak up on me like that!"
"Sorry, dear." Calculon chuckled. "I know I'm not the greatest at gardening, but there has to be something in the world I don't excel at."
Coilette cracked a smile. This was her idiot and she loved him. "Yeah, whatever." she said. "...Hey, what am I even supposed to do now?"
"What do you mean?"
"I dunno, I'm just not really sure what to like...do in life? Getting married was awesome but like...what now?"
"I think I understand." Calculon sat with her at the window. "You can do so much in life. You've had dreams before...I'm guessing...and now you don't have as many distractions in the way."
"Huh. What the hell? When did you get smart?"
"I'm flattered, but that was just something I read in a book in a waiting room."
"Oh. That checks out."
The following night Coilette had trouble sleeping. It was technically not necessary, at least not for as long as humans, but she still liked sleeping. Was at least better than having nothing to do.
Tomorrow it would be back to normal again.
No wedding planning, no moving her stuff to her new place, no big life changes.
Coilette had a bit of a crisis. She remembered what Calculon told her he'd read in that random book, but did that really apply to her? How many dreams did she really have?
Sure, getting filthy rich was a big dream of hers, but then what? She already had a bit more money now that she was married to Calculon.
What else was there?
Fame?
Obviously no to that, she was married to a huge celebrity and right now she didn't even WANT to be in the spotlight.
Being remembered?
...Huh.
Being remembered.
That...That still meant a lot to her.
She wanted, nay, NEEDED to be remembered.
Her memory needed to live on. She needed to make a mark on history!
...But how?
Coilette needed to know how to make a mark. She could not have lived for nothing.
Screw it. Tomorrow she was gonna talk to Calculon about it when she got back home, and he could probably help her in some way.
One could only hope.
Coilette, Fry, and Leela were all at the conference table. Leela had mentioned that Amy was visiting her parents, and that Hermes and Zoidberg were out buying office supplies.
Coilette took a seat next to Fry. She laid back like a slob.
"Hey, you'll get stuff all over the table." Leela scolded. "What the hell even is that stuff you stepped in?"
"Huh? Oh, nothing. Just radioactive gum."
"Radioactive gum? Cool!" Fry said. "Can I try?"
Coilette pulled the gum off her heel-shoe-foot-whatever it is and was about to give it to Fry.
Leela had gotten up already and slapped it out of Coilette's hand.
"Oh, you're no fun." the fembot complained.
Leela turned her attention to Fry. "What the hell, Fry? You have no idea what that gum could do!"
"But it sounded cool!"
Leela groaned.
Before things could get too intense, the professor came in to announce what they would do. "Good news, everyone!" he exclaimed "We've got a package for some hillbilly robots on the moon!"
"Damn, haven't seen those guys in a while." Coilette said.
The professor turned his attention to her "Oh, it's you! ...Corvette? How did the wedding go?"
"You were there."
" I was...Oh, my... I've been to far too many weddings in my age to remember."
Leela crossed her arms "You really have enough friends to go to that many weddings?"
"Oh, no, I never said I was invited."
"So when are we leaving?" Coilette axed.
"Right now!" the professor responded. "You three just get on the ship, the package is already on board."
The professor pushed on Fry's chest but was too weak to make him move even an inch. "Just go already! The space suits are on board too!"
The trio went downstairs and got in the ship.
As the ship left, the professor let out a sigh of relief. "Finally, I get this all for myself!" He took Fry's bag of Bachelor Chow.
"So cool that you're back to work now!" Fry said.
Coilette scoffed. "Yeah, it's whatever. Cool to see you guys too..I guess..."
"Aww, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said." Leela said with snark.
"Yeah, yeah." Coilette rolled her eyes. She'd never admit it, but she really had missed going on missions.
"Hey, it's been a while since we saw those moon hillbillies." Leela noted.
"Yeah!" Fry responded "Last time we went, Coilette was Bender!"
Leela and Coilette were both silent. Coilette didn't care, but Leela looked a bit uncomfortable. Leela spoke up after a few seconds "..Uh, can we bring up the past? Can we...not use that name ever again, at all?"
"Huh?" Coilette turned her attention to her "Oh, I don't care. Do whatever."
Fry breathed a sigh of relief "Thank God.. You're REALLY good with your punches."
"Shut up, baby, I know it."
The ship soon landed on the moon, just outside the dome. Fry and Leela put on their space suits.
"The dome is only like ten feet away, can't we just run or something?" Fry axed as he picked up the package.
"If you go even an inch in space without that suit, you'll suffocate and die in under a minute." Leela sternly reminded him.
Coilette chuckled to herself. Humans and their dumb need for oxygen...
They got inside the dome and were greeted by the farmer. "I reckon you bunch are here eith the package?"
"Yep!" Fry said. "Here you go!" he gave him the box.
"Wait." the farmer stopped them before they could leave. Fry was still holding out the package. "Who's this purdy young thing?"
Coilette snickered. Damn, everyone wanted a piece of her.
Leela rolled her eye. "Oh, you've met her.." her eye widened as she realised the implication of what she said. Did...did she really out Coilette to a backwards confederate hillbilly with a gun? "...is what I would have said if you HAD met her! You definitely haven't! She's a new employee!"
"What're you doing?" Coilette axed in a whisper, pulling Leela aside.
"I'm saving your sorry ass." Leela stated bluntly. "You have no idea what these hillbillies would think of someone like you! Now shut up, PLEASE." Her whispering almost turned into hisses.
"Fine, fine, whatever."
The two got up.
"Uhm, we'd better get going now." Leela told Coilette and Fry.
"Oh, come on!" Fry whined. "He told me he'd give us free booze if we stay over!"
Coilette's eyes popped out. "Booze?"
Fry nodded.
"Moonshine?" Coilette's eyes popped further.
Fry nodded.
Coilette's eyes fell to the ground. She picked them up and with glee she entered the dome with Fry.
Leela reluctantly followed them. These morons better get it over with.
"-so then I told her, chaffeur? I hardly know 'er!"
Fry laughed like an idiot. "Man, you're hilarious!" Fry took a bite of the food he'd been playing with on his plate for the last five minutes.
"So when are we getting the booze?" Coilette axed bluntly, her arms crossed.
"With time, darlin'. Say, have any of y'all met my beautiful daughters"
Fry and Leela said "yes", and so did Coilette before backtracking with an "I mean no."
The sisters entered the room. When Coilette saw the Crushinator she remembered the time they hooked up, and she now felt extremely awkward. None of them knew who Coilette was, they all thought she was a new employee they'd never met, because that was what Leela TOLD them...
Coilette hid her face behind the palm of her hand, shielding it from the other fembots.
"So yer' a shy one, huh?" Lulubelle 7 axed. "I'm sure yer' absolutely smashing, hun. Don't cover yer' face."
Coilette wondered what the hell was going on. Did Lulubelle 7 just hit on her? Or were hilbillies always this friendly? Was it a fembot thing in general? She hadn't exactly interacted with other fembots as friends, the fembots at her bachelorette party were just some randoms she found on the street and acquaintances she'd only talked to once or twice...
"Um. Uh... thanks?" she murmured. She attempted a slightly higher voice, attempting to sound different, but it came out as almost squeaking.
"Aw, c'mon!" Lulubelle 7 pulled Coilette's arm away, startling her. "There! Better!"
Coilette didn't get a reaction from the other sisters. They didn't recognise her at all. Well, at least that was a relief.
"Mind if i sit with you." the Crushinator axed monotonously.
"Go ahead." Coilette responded. She looked away.
The Crushinator sat next to her. "You remind me of someone."
Coilette got tense. "Really?" She really did not want this to turn super awkward. She'd just small talk a little, then leave with the booze... oh, yeah, Fry and Leela too, she guessed.
"I just can't remember who."
"Probably no one." Coilette got up from her chair. "Well, I'm done here. C'mon meatbags, let's snatch the booze and get out." She grabbed Fry by the arm. Leela rolled her eye and followed.
"Hold on!" the farmer shouted "What about the food?"
"It was terrible." Coilette said, grabbing the tank of moonshine on the ground.
Leela shut the door. It was no use however, as on their way out the gang heard a revving up engine.
"Crap." Coilette said.
They were chased by the farmer in his lunar mobile, which so happened to be the Crushinator in a transformers-esque different form.
They stopped at the end of the dome.
"Hurry! Don't just stand there!" Coilette complained "Hurry up!" she grabbed Fry's arm again.
Leela grabbed Fry's other arm. "You can't just pull him out into space! He needs the helmet on!"
They argued with each other until Fry put the helmet on himself. "Let's go!" he grabbed the hands of both of them and they got out of the dome just in time.
Coilette struggled a bit to get the booze container in the ship, but she got it to work.
While the farmer was looking for a space suit, Leela got the ship started and they got away.
They all collectively breathed out a sigh of relief.
"Thank God." Leela mumbled. "Thanks for listening to me, Fry. You would've died if you hadn't put on that helmet."
Fry smiled. "You know the best ways not to die." he said while shrugging.
Coilette rolled her eyes. She looked out the window and held the booze close. Now she at least had a gift for herself and Calculon. Oh, and she guessed these meatbags could have some too, if they wanted..
The huge booze container left a trail in the ground as Coilette dragged it to the front door. It was nearly full, though she and Fry had a couple chugs on the way back home.
She pressed the doorbell and Calculon opened the door. "Dear God! What is that?" he axed as he moved aside, letting her in.
When Coilette put the container aside it made a loud thud.
"Got some booze from the moon."
"Moonshine?"
Coilette nodded.
"I see. Well, you look exhausted, are you OK?" Calculon put his hand-adjacent thing on Coilette's shoulder.
"I guess. Been dragging that thing around for super long."
"Have a seat." Calculon led her to the couch and sat next to her. "You need anything?"
"Yeah."
"What would you like?"
"...Booze."
"The one you.."
"Yeah, the one I dragged here."
Calculon hesitated for a moment before giving her a glass of it. "You can't know for sure what's in this stuff. Better be careful." he advised.
"Yeah, yeah..." Coilette took a sip.
"For all you know there could be food coloring in that."
"Stop worrying." After the next sip Coilette took, she started coughing, steam escaped her mouth.
"Oh my God!" Calculon gasped dramatically. "Do you need anything!?"
"Nah.." Coilette coughed a little. "Just... Just got some in my throat." She coughed again. "All good now."
Calculon breathed a sigh of relief. "Don't scare me like that."
"Sorry, buddy, heh.." Coilette nudged him. "Can't promise anything though."
"Heh. Yes..." Calculon looked over at the fridge. "Want something else?"
"Fine, get me some chocolate, Calcy."
"Will do."