Chapter Text
It was a beautiful morning. The sun warmed her face as she and Anthony walked through the park quietly, hands linked between them, her other hand wrapped up in Newton’s leash as her dog tugged relentlessly in the direction of every interesting scent and noisy squirrel.
Anthony had come with her when Mary and Edwina were at work to pick up what she needed for a few days – clothes and toiletries and Newton’s stash of food and toys. All told, Kate thought she’d brought more luggage for Newton than for herself.
He looked a bit apoplectic when Newton arrived at his flat and immediately peed on what she imagined was a very expensive rug, but he managed to keep his comments to some grumbling under his breath, only the words menace and fur demon being intelligible.
Mary called her that night, asking her to come home, but Kate knew that she and Edwina needed some time apart. Once the initial shock wore off, they would try again. Kate had faith that things would work out, but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world for Kate not to hinge her every emotion on her sister’s whims. Truthfully, she was tired of refusing to let herself be happy unless every single person around her was first.
Besides, this was a natural progression. She wasn’t living with Anthony properly, but it was only a matter of time. She already had oils in his medicine cabinet and shoes in his closet and ingredients for chai at his coffee and tea station. It was nice, falling asleep in his arms at night and waking up to his rumpled hair and confused frown in the mornings. Eating breakfast with him and talking about their plans for the day. Starting a film and losing interest halfway through in favor of making out like teenagers.
One day, she would make it official. That day didn’t feel too far off.
“Has Edwina reached out yet?” Anthony asked, worry tinting his voice. She knew he blamed himself for the whole mess, and of course, he wasn’t blameless. But she’d held that against him long enough, and only succeeded in depriving herself of something great.
“Not yet. But it’s only been a couple of days.” She missed her sister, naturally. Edwina had been her whole life for so long. And the old Kate probably would have chased her forgiveness, stayed up all night fretting about their fight.
Now, she felt…strangely calm. Anthony seemed to make everything in her life less daunting. There didn’t feel like anything they couldn’t face together, and she believed, finally, that Anthony intended to stay by her side for a long time. “Do you want me to talk to her? I could…apologize. Explain. Give her someone to yell at.”
“As much as I would enjoy that,” Kate snorted, squeezing his hand. “No. I mean, apologize if you want. That’s between you and her. But as hard as it is for me to say, I think this is something Edwina just needs to learn how to deal with. It’s not going anywhere.”
Anthony stopped in his tracks, his eyes sparkling in the golden light as the corners crinkled with his grin. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she said, rubbing her thumb affectionately over his knuckles. “Haven’t you figured that out by now?”
“It’s still nice to hear you say it.”
After everything he’d done – all the time, the patience, dedicated to proving who he really was and earning her trust – Kate thought he deserved that. “I’m not going anywhere,” she promised, kissing him gently.
She wasn’t sure when she’d become such a sap, but his smile against her lips made it all worth it. Anthony slid his arms around her back, both of them ignoring Newton’s irritated whine at the interruption to his walk, and when he sighed, “I love you,” all she could think was-
This is it.
It took everything in Kate not to reach out first. Not that she didn’t believe in extending the olive branch, but if Edwina was still angry, it seemed pointless to rehash their first – unbelievably painful – conversation.
Eleven days, and then: Can I buy you lunch?
Once she was across from her sister again, Kate felt the wounds reopen, just a little. But she also felt…sad, she supposed. Sad that she was finally happy, in a way she never really expected she could be, and Edwina wasn’t there to share in it. “I miss you,” she said.
Edwina nodded, biting the inside of her cheek. “I miss you too.”
“I’m glad you reached out.”
“I’m sorry it took so long.”
The waitress brought their chai, and Kate took a long sip, bracing herself for what she knew she needed to say. She’d always been the one to fix everything, smooth it over, even if it meant internalizing her pain. Even if it meant breaking her own bones so her family would never be the slightest bit uncomfortable.
But Anthony continually pushed for her honesty, even when it made things more difficult. And Kate realized that there was nearly always a path out that didn’t end with her bleeding inside while she faked a smile.
“You really hurt me, Eddie.” She took a deep breath, hooking her thumb around the rim of her cup and letting the heat soak into her skin. “I know I hurt you. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t honest. But I didn’t deserve that.”
“No, you didn’t,” Edwina said, staring down into her own mug. “I know this wasn’t about the money. Just…from seeing you these past few months. It’s like you became the person you were before Appa died. When you weren’t so afraid to get close to people.”
She felt more like that person too. Free and open and excited for what life could offer instead of terrified by what it would bring next. She still had her walls, but they were lower. Easier to scale.
“It’s not about the money. It was never really about that, I guess.” In the beginning, Kate had convinced herself she was doing it for the payout. For Mary. For Edwina. But she fell too quickly to have started falling that night. Maybe there was a little piece of her that had been falling for a long time, only she’d refused to let it land. “I didn’t think you still had feelings for him.”
Edwina shook her head, pulling a face that looked almost disgusted. “I don’t, I swear. Whatever I felt, that ended a few months after he broke up with me.”
“Then I don’t understand.” It wasn’t like Eddie had never thrown fits before, but nothing so cruel. Nothing so clearly designed to hurt her.
Exhaling heavily, Edwina looked up at her through long lashes. “I know you didn’t like that Anthony was older than me, but honestly, I always did. It made me feel…I don’t know. Grown up. He took me to nice places and I felt sophisticated. Like, wow, I could get the attention of a man like Anthony Bridgerton. It was powerful.”
Kate swallowed. It never really got easier to hear about Anthony and Edwina together, but she’d survived the worst details already. If she didn’t know the whole truth, she would always wonder, always suspect, always imagine the worst. Kate wasn’t the kind of person to live in blissful ignorance.
“And then he didn’t want to…move things forward,” Edwina said awkwardly, a pink flush rising on her cheeks. “He didn’t want me. And I just…I kept trying to understand why. Was I too inexperienced? Did he not find me interesting, did he not find me attractive? Like, why wasn’t I good enough?”
“Eddie,” Kate said softly.
She held up her hand. “No, just…I’m just trying to explain. When he finally dumped me, I felt so stupid and naïve. I didn’t have a lot to compare it to then, you know? So I just felt like this little girl who had been playacting as an adult and then he finally saw that I wasn’t. It was so embarrassing. It didn’t have that much to do with my feelings for Anthony, and everything to do with the way I saw myself. The mold that I was trying to break out of.” Edwina picked at the corner of her menu, nerves visible in her trembling fingers. “And I finally, finally got past it. And then…and then you told me that it was him, and it suddenly all kind of made sense. That I had always been the consolation prize and I didn’t even know it. He never wanted me. You warned me, and I didn’t listen because I thought I knew better. I really was that naïve little kid you and mum have always treated me as.”
Kate frowned. “That’s not the way we see you.”
“Yeah, it is,” Edwina said with a humorless laugh. “You found something with Anthony, and you didn’t tell me because you didn’t think I could handle it. And the worst part is that I proved you right.”
Her words hung in the silence between them as Kate tried to process. Not that long ago, she would’ve sworn that she and Eddie shared everything. And now she wondered how much they knew each other, anymore.
“Will you tell me the whole story?” Edwina asked, her voice quiet. “I promise, I’ll listen this time.”
Leaving out the specifics of their intimacy and anything else she thought might still be too raw, Kate told Edwina about that first night, about going back, about what he meant to her now. About how Anthony had acknowledged and apologized for his mistakes in pursuing Edwina, more than once.
“Is he still paying you?”
“No,” Kate said. “I mean, he pays for some of our dates, but just normal stuff.”
Edwina nodded. “Does everyone know?”
“Only Tom, he caught us together at a club once. We’re planning to tell Anthony’s family at Daph’s party.” Kate ran a hand through her hair, leaning against the table. “Eddie, the money…”
“I’m not gonna tell anyone. I know I didn’t give you a lot of reason to trust me, but I wouldn’t do that.” Edwina reached out tentatively, placing her hand over Kate’s. “As long as you’re with him because you want to be, and not because he’s pressuring you...”
“He’s not,” Kate said quickly. “It’s what I want.”
Shoulders slumping, Edwina looked at Kate curiously for a moment. “I don’t know if I’ve ever heard you say that,” she said, a sad smile falling over her face. “It’s always been about what mum and I want.”
“Yeah. Well.” Kate sniffed, emotion welling up in her throat. “I don’t regret that. I love you. I just…maybe sacrificed too much of myself. Until Anthony, I forgot that it was okay for me to want things too. And even then, I held back for a long time. Because of you.”
Edwina’s face softened, her eyes glittering. “Don’t hold back anymore. Not on my account. I don’t think I’ll be hanging around you and him much, just…for a while. But give me some time, and I’ll figure it out.”
Considering how much she had avoided being in the same room with Anthony and Edwina, that part seemed fair. “Okay.”
They ordered lunch, and Edwina thanked Kate for paying off her loans, for going to such great lengths to take care of her. She promised to use her income to help more with Mary and the house, to take on the responsibility she had been passing off for too long.
It felt…good. Kate had always been content to work behind the scenes, to never share with Mary and Eddie how heavy the load really was. But something lifted off her chest to receive that gratitude anyway, to possibly have a partner in caring for the family. Finally.
For the first time, she thought maybe Edwina was truly seeing her.
Not Didi. Just Kate.
The stars shimmered overhead, feeling close enough to reach out and touch. Kate stretched out on her reclined seat, watching the sky streak past as Anthony drove his convertible down the darkened street, their hands entwined over the center console as the breeze skimmed over their skin. Peaceful.
Kate no longer felt happy, but. The dark clouds that were always lingering at the edges of her mind had dissipated. Edwina was the darkest, of course. But true to her word, she’d been trying to get more involved, pitching in for the bills and running errands for Mary when Kate wasn’t home. Something had shifted in their relationship, in the dynamic that had been ingrained for so long. In a good way, Kate thought.
She had hope that eventually, the three most important people in her life could be a part of her life together.
Then, there was Anthony’s family. They’d debuted their relationship officially at Daphne’s party, simply walking into the backyard holding hands, with varying reactions. Daphne squealed and muttered something about winning a bet with Simon. Ben and Colin asked repeatedly if Kate wasn’t sure she could do better, until Anthony threw an empty can at Colin’s head. Violet teared up and said it made sense – love was the only thing that could account for Anthony’s blatant happiness lately.
And then, after what felt like an eternity of searching, Kate finally received a job offer she was excited about. It paid well, the firm worked primarily with nonprofits, and they actually seemed thrilled to have her join the team.
Was it what she wanted to do for the rest of her life? She had no idea. But it felt like she had options, now. The ability to explore her interests without automatically settling for the most stable choice.
She’d jumped Anthony the second he came home that night, engaging in a vigorous round in the kitchen. He laughed when he caught his breath, asking what brought that on, and he’d kissed her thoroughly when she told him the good news and asked if he could take her on a trip for the weekend to celebrate.
The hotel suite was beautiful – far too large for two people, but that was hardly surprising. The Bridgertons did everything big. Huge windows along one side overlooked the water, waves crashing steadily against the shore. Anthony retrieved an awaiting bottle of champagne from the kitchen and popped the cork, pouring two glasses. “I’m really proud of you, Kate.”
She felt it, always. The way he believed in her. “Thank you,” she said genuinely, clinking their glasses together. They made it through half the bottle, chatting about everything and nothing, enjoying the view and the company, before Kate kissed him, pulling away with a smirk. “I think it’s time to test out the bed.”
“Couldn’t agree more. Have to see if it’s up to my high standards,” Anthony said with a ridiculous grin, tugging her up with him.
They stumbled over a few chairs and tables, giggling into the kiss, until she shoved him back against the super king mattress. With one eager tug, her yellow sundress was on the floor, revealing her complete lack of underwear.
Anthony’s mouth fell slack, eyes glazed with desire. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.”
Kate crawled over him, a smug smile on her face as she noticed the tent in his shorts. “I’m yours,” she said, stroking his cheek with her thumb. Knowing what those words sparked in him.
Groaning, Anthony grabbed her arse and kissed her like a dying man. Kate fumbled with his shirt, practically tearing it off to feel his warm skin against hers. They worked together to undo his belt and remove his shorts and boxers, flinging them to the floor carelessly.
Anthony dipped his head, flicking one of her nipples with his tongue as he teased the other with his fingers. Distantly, Kate realized they hadn’t closed the curtains, but the idea of someone watching them through the full-length windows made her drip onto his lap.
Nothing in the world was more beautiful than Anthony in the throes of passion. Why shouldn’t other people be so lucky to see it?
Kate thought he would probably say the same about her.
After licking both of her nipples generously, he grazed his teeth against one and Kate gasped, unable to wait any longer. She stroked him a little desperately and sank down, chanting his name as she felt herself stretch around him.
Focus falling to where they were joined, Anthony toyed with her clit, helping her take him all the way. “This is where you belong, Kate,” he murmured lowly, nipping at her shoulder. “Split open on my cock.”
Kate whimpered in agreement, rocking her hips slowly, savoring the drag and heat of him against her walls. Anthony let her set the pace, seeming content to kiss her lips, suck a bruise into her neck, pinch her nipples, rub the calloused pad of his thumb against her swollen clit. Every touch felt like reverence, like worship. Like love.
Sliding his hand up her chest, he curled his fingers around her neck without applying any pressure. “Yes,” she breathed when Anthony looked up at her for permission. “Do it.”
Blood pumping thunderously in her veins, Kate rode him more intensely as his hand pressed against her throat. The slap of their skin grew louder, her vision swimming slightly, her head feeling light and then-
She came, her cries echoing in the large room, every muscle in her body contracting and releasing. Anthony loosened his grip but didn’t slow his thrusts, fucking her through it until he shuddered and erupted inside her.
Kate made a noise of protest as Anthony gently rolled them onto the bed – which they hadn’t even bothered unmaking, she realized – and pulled out of her. With a firm hand, he nudged her legs apart, his attention firmly on her leaking cunt.
“Never get tired of this,” he growled, two fingers edging around her entrance, gathering up the come that had escaped. It seemed like he was always torn between watching it seep out and wanting every drop to stay inside her.
The fingers slid between her folds easily, painting her walls with his seed. Making sure not an inch of her went untouched. “Does this little cunt feel empty?” Anthony asked when she clenched down on him, half taunting, half awestruck.
She nodded, mewling as he hooked his fingers into a beautifully sensitive spot. “Anthony, please.”
“I know, I know, baby.” He twisted them roughly, the slippery sounds echoing in her ears. “You’re gonna come again, I can feel it. Tightening around me, you’re so needy-.”
Kate buried her face in his shoulder, muffling her sob as he coaxed another peak out of her, sharper than the first. She clung to him as he removed his hand, smearing the obscene, sticky wetness of their climaxes on her bare hip.
“Can you feel that? Feel the mess you made?” he whispered in her ear. “That’s my perfect girl.”
Kate felt filthy and spent and a little exhausted as Anthony urged her into the tub, sliding in behind her and encouraging her to rest against his chest. With gentle hands, he cleaned her up, soaping her skin and turning on the jets to massage her sore muscles.
“Thank you for letting me bring you here,” Anthony murmured, stroking his wet fingers through her hair. “It’s perfect.”
She tilted her head to look up at him, smiling. It was perfect. Their version of perfect, anyway.
“I still feel a little weird taking all this from you,” Kate admitted. Getting used to living like this would take a long time, if she ever did. Even though Anthony had been good about not making it awkward, about scaling it back except for special occasions.
Maybe one day she would make him fly economy, just for the experience.
“You’re not taking anything,” Anthony assured her, dropping a kiss to her temple. “My dad…he always told me the money doesn’t mean anything if you’re alone. And he was right.” He sighed, his chest rising and falling against her. “I’m really happy, Kate. I never thought I could feel like this.”
Sitting up, Kate twisted herself in the tub, straddling his lap so she could loop her arms around his neck. She kissed him slowly, tenderly, thinking about how she had once been so afraid to get addicted to this. To him. And now she knew there was no danger in that. “I know. I…”
Judging by the smile that warmed his face, Kate thought he might already know what she was trying to say. She cupped his jaw, feeling utterly calm as the words left her lips. Completely at home.
“I love you, Anthony.”