Part One - A chance to catch my breath

Dean was having the worst day ever.

First his damn alarm didn't go off. Which normally wouldn't be a problem except Dean had decided to leave Baby back with Bobby, because he couldn't find a proper parking spot in Sioux City downtown where he now lived and worked. So naturally he was late for work, having missed his bus.

Then, in her haste to deliver the papers Mr. Novak had asked for, his secretary Becky tripped and ran right into Dean, making him spill his coffee all over himself and the important documents for the Ivanhoe merger. Dean had to sacrifice his lunch to search for any copies he could find.

And finally, the cherry on the top. Mr. Novak called Dean into his office to tell him that his performance had been lacking. Mentioning a few incidents Dean was involved with, but not responsible for, along with him being late and ruining the Ivanhoe paperwork, the CFO gave him an official warning. One more error and they would have to reevaluate his employment.

Of course, an hour later, a problem arose. Mr. Novak had called him up to ask for the calculations for the Cortega meeting. Dean had politely informed him that he hadn't been asked to do any calculations. Mr. Novak insisted he had asked and added that he was very disappointed with Dean. He told him to take the rest of the day off and then to report to HR first thing in the morning. 

It hurt. 

Most of the things Mr. Novak pointed out weren't even Dean's fault, especially when it came to the job. A job he really enjoyed doing and had learned a lot about over the past year. He was patient and organized and his reports were perfect. It wasn't his fault someone gave him wrong files or someone else misplaced the reports he had given them. But things piled on and all of his defenses seemed more like excuses.

Dean was probably going to get fired. 

He shouldn't have bothered getting that business degree. He should have just stuck with Bobby and worked in his damn garage. But his brother and stepfather kept telling him he was smart, that he had a knack for numbers and that he should strive for more.

In the end, it didn't even matter.

Dean heaved a deep sigh, kicking a pebble. He had been so angry when he left the office, and in an attempt to cool off, he decided to walk home. He might as well start saving, if he was going to be out of work tomorrow. 

Suddenly, Dean heard a very loud, but delighted screech. He whipped around, eyes immediately drawn to a little blond boy playfully running around on the other side of the street. Dean scanned the area, but didn't notice anyone actually being there with the child, only people throwing him curious glances. 

The first time the kid stepped off the curb, there weren't any cars around, but Dean immediately decided to approach him. The little one was playing around, babbling something incoherent and was completely oblivious to the world around him. 

Dean was just about to cross the street when a car came by. Thankfully, they were following the signs for the school district and had slowed down enough that they would be able to stop if the kid stepped off the curb again. Dean followed it all with rapt attention, heart beating wildly in his chest as he started walking towards him. The little boy kind of reminded him of a younger Sammy, with that mop of hair and those wide eyes, even if the colors didn't quite match. 

“Hey there, buddy–” Dean slowly approached, but his words were cut off by another joyful shriek as the kid basically ran to him like he had known him his whole life. He threw himself in Dean’s arms and after the initial shock, Dean hugged him tightly, his instincts to protect flaring up. The boy snuggled close and pushed his back into Dean’s hand, searching for more soothing contact. He didn’t speak, but was letting out this long sound that seemed like he was, in fact, talking. It was strange.

“You’re okay, kid. I got you,” he said, running his hand up and down the boy’s back. A moment passed, long enough for Dean to snap out of his daze and remember that the kid was on his own and that somebody must be looking for him. “Hey, buddy? Can you tell me where your mom or dad are? Where’d ya come from?”

“Tla tla tla aaa. Tla tlaa.” The boy chirped happily in response, then drew Dean’s hand and started high-fiving him. Oh. The kid didn’t understand him. And he clearly didn’t speak even if he seemed older, maybe four or five. Dean was uncertain of what to do, but he decided to try again, maybe get the boy to focus. Dean gently took his chin and lifted his head up, peering into those blue eyes. They were so mesmerizing, filled with the child's innocence, warmth and joy. 

“Buddy. Can you show me where you came from?” Dean spoke carefully, hoping that the kid would understand. 

“Tla aaa…” the boy replied and Dean was just about to heave a sigh when the kid placed his hand in Dean’s and then tugged him as if he wanted Dean to follow. They walked back towards Dean’s office building and about halfway there, Dean spotted a squad car and some commotion in front of a small beige building with a colorful fence. It looked like a kindergarten or a daycare; he could see a slide and a few swing sets in the yard. A woman, who proclaimed to be a teacher, was arguing with the police officer right at the entrance. Before he could even properly approach the people gathered there, the teacher spotted them.

“Jack! Oh, thank God! Jack, sweetie, you’re okay!” She cried out and ran towards the boy who just stared at her blankly until she was close enough to crouch down in front of him. She pulled him into a hug, but he protested, so she quickly let him go, then offered him her hand. He high-fived her a few times, the hand slaps echoing loudly. 

He didn’t let go of Dean’s hand the entire time.

“Sir, did you find this child? What is your name?” the officer approached Dean, her dark brown eyes observing him critically. Dean was thankful that was her first assumption and that she didn’t think he kidnapped the boy or something. 

“Um, Dean. Dean Winchester. Yeah. I just found him wandering around… about two blocks in that direction.” It suddenly hit Dean how far they had actually been and that this kid, Jack, somehow managed to cross that distance all by himself without anyone noticing. “He seemed to be alone, and I just… I tried to get him to show me where he came from.” 

Dean had no idea how to explain his encounter with Jack; he had never met a child like him. But the officer seemed to understand and Dean realized that she must have been informed about Jack. About how…different he was. Suddenly, Dean found his chest aching for Jack. Despite any problems the boy might have, he was still one of the happiest and most pleasant kids Dean had ever met. 

The protective instincts flared up again and Dean found himself comforted by the fact that Jack wouldn’t let go of him, no matter how much his teacher tried. He couldn’t just simply hand him over to her knowing she managed to lose him once already. Besides, he wasn't convinced that the boy wouldn't attempt to run away again.

The teacher, Hannah, if her name tag was correct, tried to explain how one of the parents left the gate open and when she looked away for only a second, Jack was just gone. She said he was a special needs child and that he was a handful, that he must be watched at all times. Dean just wanted to snap at her, even though he knew her tone wasn’t offensive nor dismissive - she seemed like she cared about Jack.

“Tla aaa, tla aaa.” Jack babbled on, completely ignoring everything around him as he kept playing with the little star tag attached to the head of the zipper on Dean's open jacket. Hannah attempted to pull him away from Dean once again and suddenly Jack yelled, a very open 'A' sound and pushed her hand away. When she reached for him again, he repeated the shout and grabbed her hand, abruptly pinching her. Though it wasn’t very nice, Dean couldn’t help but relate. Jack could probably feel her slight hostility, so it was no wonder he didn’t want to go with her. 

“Maybe it would be best if we were to wait for the father, he should be here shortly.” Officer Hanscum, as her name tag showed, was clearly uncertain of what to do, considering Jack was refusing to go with someone he knew and chose to cling to a stranger. Luckily, they didn’t have to wait long.

“Jack! Jack!” a very familiar voice boomed through the air and Dean turned his head in the direction of its source only to find his boss rushing towards them. Dean just stood there for a moment, mouth open, completely surprised. Jack let go of Dean and squealed in delight when Mr. Novak hugged him, relief evident on his face. They must have informed him that Jack disappeared, but hadn’t had the time to call and tell him Jack was found. "Oh, thank god!"

Mr. Novak closed his eyes, just breathed and cuddled Jack who clearly enjoyed the attention. Watching them caused inexplicable warmth to blossom in Dean's chest. It was so sweet and heartwarming; they definitely loved each other very much. Dean couldn’t believe that he had worked with the man for over a year and he hadn’t known that he had a child. After a moment, Mr. Novak looked over at the teacher and the officer. "What happened?"

His voice was stern, low, but not overly so; he was clearly upset and didn't want to alarm Jack. Hannah went back to explaining the whole situation - the gate, her slip of attention, mentioning how sorry she was and that the child needed a personal assistant. For a moment it almost seemed like she was putting the blame on Mr. Novak, as if he was responsible for the fact that his kid was different and needed extra care. It really grated on Dean, her pleasant tone that could almost be interpreted as condescending. He had to give Mr. Novak some credit though, the man was calm and composed, even when it seemed he wanted to glare daggers at the teacher.

“But thankfully, Mr. Winchester here found Jack and brought him back safe and sound.” Officer Handscum stepped in, probably sensing that Mr. Novak was reaching his limit. Mr. Novak’s head snapped in Dean's direction, blue eyes flaring with recognition and for some reason taking Dean’s breath away. He could see it now, just how much Mr. Novak and Jack looked alike. 

“Mr. Winchester?”

“Tla aaa.” Jack sounded, almost af if he was confirming. Dean couldn’t help but smile at him, the boy was really adorable.

“Yeah, I found him and got him to lead me back here. He’s an awesome kid.” Dean’s eyes slipped back from Jack to his father, finding him just staring at Dean. Now, Dean was usually pretty good at reading people, especially those he already knew, but he just couldn’t figure out what was hiding behind those intense blue eyes. Aside from the obvious surprise of finding Dean in this situation in the first place.

Apparently, they were staring at each other for a while, because officer Handscum had to clear her throat, making them both snap out of their daze. Mr. Novak’s lips drew a tight smile, but he seemed to be blushing a little (not that Dean was any better). “Thank you, Mr. Winchester.”

“Please, call me Dean.” Mr. Novak’s smile widened and then he started to say something when he was interrupted by Jack’s sound of approval. “Eeeee.”

They both chuckled at him, warmly. The little boy obviously understood more than Dean originally thought. After a beat, Mr. Novak looked back at Dean. “You may call me Castiel.”

Dean had no idea why he lingered around as Castiel talked to the teacher and the officer, telling Hannah that he was looking into a personal assistant for Jack, but that he had no choice but to bring him back again tomorrow. Dean wondered how it worked; if Cas had already signed Jack up for daycare and was paying, maybe they couldn’t refuse to take Jack.

“Eee-ee, brla, brla, brla, eee-ee, brla, brla, brla.” Jack sounded, squirming in his father’s embrace. When Castiel finally gave in and lowered him to the ground, the kid bolted towards Dean, immediately hugging his legs. It was by sheer luck that Dean didn’t topple over, steadying himself with a hand on a pole and laughing at Jack’s antics. 

“Jack,” Castiel mildly scolded and tried to get Jack to let go of Dean’s legs. “I’m sorry, he is just so very affectionate.”

“Hey, I don’t mind,” Dean replied, and caressed Jack over the head. “Looks like this is it, buddy. You gotta go with your dad now, okay?”

“Come on, Jack, let’s go home. We can pick up Popeye’s nuggets along the way, your favorite,” Castiel tried to sweet talk the boy into going. Not only was Jack ignoring Castiel completely, but it seemed like he wanted Dean to lift him up. He was so persistent and Dean glanced at Castiel, who hesitated only for a moment before giving Dean a nod. Jack’s little hands drew around Dean’s neck, holding on for dear life.

“Eeeee! Tlala. Eeeee.” The kid shouted into Dean’s ear, making him wince. Having a very apologetic expression, Castiel was obviously trying to say something, but the words failed him. He looked a little defeated, so Dean decided to help the guy out.

“I got time, I can come with you. Maybe he’ll let go once he’s home?” Dean didn’t want to add that home was probably where Jack felt safest. Even with his carefree attitude, walking down the street all by himself must have been scary. Logically, the boy should be seeking comfort from his father, but Dean didn’t know what their relationship was and maybe the kid understood more than he was showing. Castiel did just tell the teacher he would have to bring him back there tomorrow.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to bother you.”

“It’s no bother,” Dean dismissed with a little smile, locking his eyes with Castiel’s. They were so intensely blue, and so expressive, yet Dean couldn’t pick out a single emotion within them. He just didn’t know the man well enough to do that.

“You don’t owe me anything,” Castiel said with too serious of a tone and Dean just took a moment to look him over. As cool and collected as he had always seemed at work, Castiel was now a mess, with his tie askew and his hair in a disarray. Dean heaved a sigh.

“It’s not about the job. This is about Jack. And he clearly wants me to come along, so I’m going.”

Jack didn’t want to let go of Dean to sit in his seat, so Dean took a place next to him in the back of Castiel’s Honda CR-V (pretty good car by Dean’s standards) and held his hand while Jack's dad buckled him in. Castiel kept throwing them glances in the rearview mirror as he took them to Popeyes drive-thru then a little out of town, into the suburbs. They stopped in front of a little modern house with a wide grassy yard. Dean had always thought his boss lived in an apartment or even a penthouse out in the city, but knowing he had a kid, this made more sense.

The place was nice. The yard was big and kept, and there was a section for Jack with a sandbox, a slide and a swingset and a bunch of other equipment Dean didn’t have time to surveil now. The house was big and spacious with a lot of windows that brought in so much natural light. The front door opened to a big living room with a couch and a big TV mounted on a wall and a special corner for Jack. There was a little desk there with color pencils (oddly no crayon in sight), papers, stencils and coloring books. Next to it was a little cart with colorful plastic drawers and Paw Patrol stickers. The more Dean looked over the corner, the more he noticed that everything was Paw Patrol themed.

Castiel led them through the living room, next to the stairs that led to the second floor and into the kitchen while Jack playfully babbled and poked Dean in the cheek. Dean had a sneaking suspicion the kid was curious about his freckles. The kitchen was well equipped with various appliances and it had a nice table for six right next to this big window that overlooked the backyard. It looked very warm and cozy. In fact, the whole house did. Castiel set down the take out bag on the counter then turned to them.

“Jack? We have to go wash our hands before we can eat,” Castiel reminded his son in an attempt to get him to let go of Dean, but the kid just smiled at him and kept babbling. He squealed when Castiel tried to pull him away and tightened his hold of Dean. After a few minutes of unsuccessful attempts, Castiel heaved a sigh.

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll all go together. I gotta wash my hands too.” Dean could see that the man was at a loss for what to do and he really wanted to make this as easier for them all as he could. Technically, he knew how absurd the whole situation was; Castiel could have just ripped the kid off him or something; sure he’d cry, but he would have settled down eventually. But Dean didn’t want to see the little boy sad or hurting and he guessed Castiel didn’t want to either.

So they all crowded up in the bathroom together and washed their hands. Dean put Jack down and played with water a little, as much as Castiel allowed it. It was strange, Dean would have thought someone like Castiel would have been a little more uptight about getting water everywhere, but he just kept smiling at Jack’s delight and tried to keep him away from the tub the kid was so eager to get into. Jack must have loved water very much. 

Back in the kitchen, Jack dutifully put the plates and the cutlery Castiel gave him on the table, each piece in its rightful place. His plate had Paw Patrol dogs on it and so did his cup. What surprised Dean the most was the setting of a third plate. He was kind of hungry, but he didn’t expect Castiel to buy food for him as well. Not only that, but the guy hadn’t even asked about it, he just assumed Dean would eat with them. Like it was a perfectly normal thing.

So Dean opted not to say anything, instead he enjoyed the chicken nuggets, fries and 8 different sauces, and watching Jack completely ignore the fork to eat with his fingers.

“I am… Really grateful for what you did today, Mr W– Dean. For finding my son. I have been having some issues with the daycare because of Jack’s condition, but they still…” Castiel trailed off, sighing deeply. Dean offered a sympathetic smile, not sure what to say. It wasn’t a big deal for him to help Jack find his way back, but it was for Castiel and he could understand that. It wasn’t his place to comment on Hannah and her actions, no matter how much he would have loved to give her a piece of his mind back at the daycare.

“Anyway. Thank you. Not many people would do what you did, what you’re still doing. And thank you for indulging him. He rarely asks for anything, and even with his open nature, he doesn’t get attached to people easily.” Despite talking to Dean, Castiel’s eyes never left Jack. He was present, but there was still this distant, sad look in his eyes.

“I like him. Reminds me of my baby brother but also a little bit of me when I was a kid. Jack’s really sweet, and very determined,” Dean replied with a smile. It was the truth, he really liked the kid.

“Oh, he could be so hard headed sometimes. Not that I believe in that, but he’s a Capricorn and it shows.” It was the first time Dean saw Castiel genuinely smile. The man was still observing his son as the boy ate, but his expression had gone soft. There was that twinkle in his eyes, the one that showed just how much he cared about Jack. 

They talked some more while they ate. Castiel explained a little about Jack’s condition. Just like Dean suspected, Jack has some form of mutism and ADHD. Castiel said he was simply born like this and that he noticed something was wrong when Jack was about 3 – he stopped calling him ‘Dada’ and just went silent. Since then Jack started babbling again, but it took a combined effort of a neurologist, a speech therapist and Castiel, even if he didn’t value his own role as much. Now, at the age of 6, Jack could say just a few words, but he required help, or more like an incentive to say them in the form of a touch to his chin.

Castiel also explained that Jack didn’t really have a problem with speech, but rather that his brain didn’t register the need for it. Apparently, even though it sometimes didn’t seem like it, Jack was fully capable of receiving and processing all the information his brain was getting, but the issue arose when it had to give a feedback, a reaction. 

Castiel had taken him to a lot of experts and they all had different ideas of what could help, but nothing made as much progress as the therapy their new neurologist put them on. The meds were Russian and Castiel had found a way to ship them over, clearly not caring about the cost. Since Jack started taking the therapy, he became more sensible, more reasonable, more present. He was making great progress and it showed.

Dean didn’t want to ask about Jack’s mom, though he was curious. It seemed like whoever she was to Castiel, she wasn’t around since Jack was born. Cas would tell him when he was ready.

It occurred to Dean, in between listening to Castiel talk about their lives and Jack’s delighted munching on the chicken nuggets and getting ketchup everywhere, that he wanted to be a part of their lives. Wanted to learn more and to hang out with Jack, learn which pup from the Paw Patrol he liked best and what was his favorite food. What he liked to draw.

After their meal was over, Castiel attended to Jack first, wiping his ketchup hands with a wet wipe before leading him back into the bathroom. The kid literally had ketchup everywhere, hands, face, shirt, pants, hair. Not to mention that the whole table was smudged with it, there was some on the chair and the floor. Dean was pretty sure that if the ceiling was lower, there would have been some on it too.

Jack went with Castiel without a fuss this time, leaving Dean alone in the kitchen. It was an automatic thing – to get up and start cleaning. Dean had done it so many times after a meal with Sam and Bobby that it was almost like a second nature. He put the dishes in the sink and threw away the empty containers. Taking a washcloth from the sink, he wiped the table and cleaned up the chair, then set off to wash the few dishes they had used. By the time Castiel and Jack emerged from the bathroom, the kid all cleaned up and with a change in clothes, all there was left to do was to mop down the floor and take out the trash.

Dean didn’t notice right away the look Cas gave him, too busy drying the last plate and putting it away. “Hey, where do you keep the mop, there is some ketchup on the floor and I–” He stopped short, taking in Castiel’s wide eyes and his shocked expression. “I, um…”

“You… You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s just…” Dean waved his hand around, trying to find the correct word. “It's a habit, I guess. I didn’t even realize what I was doing.” He offered a sheepish smile, hoping Cas won’t think he was crazy or something. Thankfully, the guy just nodded.

“Well, thank you. Jack, want to go watch some cartoons while I clean the floor?” At the mention of cartoons, the kid took off like a bullet, startling Dean. Cas huffed a laugh, then turned to go after him, probably to set up Jack’s favorite show. But before he could make a step, Jack ran back into the room, screeching again. “Eeeee!! Eeeee!!!”

He grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled, really hard, grunting when Dean didn’t immediately move. 

“Jack, no, don’t harass–”

“It’s okay, Cas. He probably wants to show me something.” Cas frowned for a second and Dean realized he had shortened his name. But he had no time to apologize as Jack kept dragging him towards the living room. He pulled him all the way to the couch and pushed at his legs to make him sit down.

“Want me to sit? Okay. Here, I am sitting. Now what do we do?” Jack turned and picked up the remote from the little coffee table then handed it to Dean. It was easy to turn the TV on, but not so easy to find the cartoon Jack wanted to watch. Dean found a few channels that had animation on them, but none were Paw Patrol. When Dean didn’t manage to find what Jack wanted, the boy started getting angry.

Jack yelled a few times, then hit himself on the head. Dean tried to take his hand and tell him not to do it, that it wasn’t nice, but that only seemed to set him off more and before Dean knew it, Jack was on the floor, kicking and screaming and throwing a tantrum.

Castiel rushed into the living room, expression stern and Dean sucked in a breath, fear taking over as he worried his boss might think he had done something to his kid. But Castiel disregarded him completely, turning to Jack. He lifted him up and set him on an armchair, then scolded him. 

“No. Jack, no, stop it. That is not nice and that is not how we get things. Dean doesn’t understand what you want and yelling and screaming won’t get you anywhere. You have to try and show what you want, okay? No more of this or I won’t let you watch TV.” Castiel took the remote and turned to Video on Demand, finding the pup cartoon and playing it. Then, when he made sure Jack was calm and focused on the TV, he turned to Dean.

“I’m very sorry. He has trouble expressing himself and showing what he wants and he gets frustrated, and then this happens. It’s not very often, but it does happen when he wants something from people that can’t read him. I am sorry you had to witness that.” Castiel seemed embarrassed and Dean wanted nothing more than to reach out and set his hand on the man’s shoulder to offer some comfort.

“Hey, no, it’s cool. I figured he wanted to watch Paw Patrol, just didn’t know where to find the cartoon. I was taking too long, that’s why he got mad.” The words were enough for now, making Cas smile gratefully at him.

"Well, I am still sorry. I am going to clean up the floor, be back in a minute." Castiel started to leave, then paused. "Would you, um… Like some coffee?"

"Yeah, that'll be great, if it's not too much of an inconvenience." Dean beamed at him. He normally drank a cup after coming home from work and it was just about that time, so his body was already craving his caffeine fix.

"No inconvenience at all." Dean received another smile. This whole thing made him start to see his boss in a brand new light and he kind of liked the man he saw. Castiel obviously cared a lot about Jack. It couldn't have been easy for him, raising Jack on his own (not that Dean was a 100% sure Castiel had been single the entire time, but he seemed to be now). He was handling it all plus managing the entire financial department of a major corporation. He was incredible. 

Jack watched the cartoon for a whole two minutes before he suddenly jumped off the armchair and dashed towards his desk, immediately picking up the color pencils and a piece of paper. He colored so furiously that Dean pitied the paper under his pencil. After a few minutes of that, Jack picked up a stencil and returned to his wild drawing. 

Cas brought coffee for them both and they chatted some more, mostly about Jack. At one point Cas trailed off, seemingly looking at Jack, but his eyes were distant, probably caught in his thoughts. Dean didn’t interrupt him, just sat there and watched Jack draw with a small smile on his face.

“I should apologize,” Cas suddenly said, startling Dean. When their eyes met, there was regret and sadness in those sapphire blues. Dean was confused for a moment, thinking there was nothing to be apologizing for, especially considering Jack. But then Cas explained and Dean appreciated it, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“About the Cortega meeting calculations. I checked my emails and the office chat, and I didn’t find any message from me to you about those. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized I have been meaning to ask you to do them, but I can’t actually remember telling you. I am sorry. I didn’t mean…” Cas let out a shaky sigh, and Dean’s hand shot out to cover his, providing what little comfort it could.

“Hey, it’s okay. It happens. The important thing is that you realized the truth and that I hopefully won’t get fired?” That wasn’t the best thing to say, because Cas seemed like Dean just struck him. “No, no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply–”

“This is all my fault. I am clearly not able to focus enough on work with everything else happening and I made a big mess. I am really sorry, Dean. You are a hardworking, dedicated employee and I shouldn’t have let a few errors cloud my judgment of you. If they even were your errors. I just thought you were making excuses, but I should have taken into consideration how good you usually are. I should have valued you more and I am sorry I didn’t.”

 Wow. Dean didn’t expect that, and it left him feeling a little overwhelmed. As much as it felt good to be appreciated and proven right, he could still see how much it weighed Cas down, to be responsible for all that work and all those people and Jack. To take care of it all.

But who took care of him?

It was a dangerous train of thought, one Dean just couldn’t shake off, no matter how much he wanted to. He felt drawn, to Cas, to Jack. He felt the sudden urge to protect them, to take care of them. A part of him knew it was just his instincts kicking in, he had always been like this, but he had never felt it so intensely.

“Eeeee!” Jack surprised them both by suddenly yelling and jumping on Dean, hitting him with an elbow in the head. Dean let out a low “oof”, but smiled at the kid; his cheerfulness was absolutely contagious. Jack settled in Dean’s lap, facing him, and while Dean could see that Cas was a little uncomfortable with Jack bugging Dean and basically gluing himself to Dean, he ignored him. Jack intertwined his fingers with Dean’s, looked them over, then started playing, tugging, all the while babbling in delight.

That’s when Dean brought on the Tickle Monster. Oh, the laughter that bubbled up from Jack and filled the room was so delightful and so mesmerizing, Dean loved it! It even made Cas smile widely, watching them play.

Dean ended up spending the whole day with them, unable to make himself leave, and unable to resist Jack’s plea and those big round blue eyes and that pout. As the light began to fade outside, Dean attempted to leave, only for Jack to throw another tantrum. Cas stopped him with a few firm words and made him sit on the armchair and while Jack stopped screaming, he was crying. Big, fat tears tracked down his face as he watched Dean inch towards the door and he just couldn’t do it.  Besides, Cas seemed exhausted. While Dean hoped Cas didn’t mind him staying, he also figured that playing with Jack and focusing all of the boy’s energy on Dean, would give Cas some much needed reprieve.  

All the while, they talked, shared bits and pieces of their lives. Dean still had no idea what happened to Jack’s mom, but by the sound of it, she and Cas were never really a thing, more like a one-night stand that had a happy consequence. Dean learned that Cas was single since then, that he had a younger brother who was out there, living his life and a mother a few towns over and nobody else. Nobody to help him with Jack or to just be there and lend a sympathetic ear. 

Dean told him about Sam and Bobby, his brother and stepfather, and about how they encouraged him to get out of the garage and seek out a degree after Sam graduated from Stanford. He told him that working in their company was the first gig he got and that he loved working there, that the job was highly satisfying. He might have mentioned that he spent his free time with a friend or alone with a good movie, implying that he wasn’t seeing anyone. Not that it meant that Cas would be interested, though Dean really wouldn’t mind giving them a try. 

When 9pm rolled around, Cas proclaimed it was bedtime. He helped Jack change into his PJs and helped him brush his teeth, the boy dutifully waiting while his father did all the work. It made Dean think that Jack could do it by himself, if encouraged, but he didn’t comment. Cas was already doing so much and didn’t need anyone criticizing.

As soon as they were out of the bathroom and headed for Jack’s room, the boy gripped Dean’s hand and pulled him with intent. They all reached the room and Jack pulled him in, but once he noticed that Cas entered too, he let go of Dean and pushed at Cas’ legs, indicating he wanted him out. Cas seemed confused, his expression slowly morphing into slight hurt. He covered it quickly. Jack took a Paw Patrol book (of course) and handed it to Dean, then settled into the bed that had, you guessed it, Paw Patrol linen and extra pillows. Cas told him Jack liked to be read, but also to see and touch the pictures, so Dean followed his instructions, sitting down on the floor next to his bed.

Cas watched them for a minute or so, then waved at Dean and pointed to the living room, indicating he would be there. Dean could see this was a little upsetting for him and that he needed a moment, so he just nodded and kept reading. He stuck around to make sure Jack was sound asleep before sneaking out of the room.

Dean found Cas in the living room, hastily wiping at his face as if Dean wouldn’t notice he had been crying. He let out a few shaky sounds as Dean came to sit beside him, avoiding eye contact.

“Sorry, I was just… This was… It’s just been a long day.”

“It’s okay. I get it. I um… I used to help take care of my little brother when I was a kid. I couldn’t say a damn word, but I just had to be the one to change him and help feed him, even though I was just shy of four years old,” Dean said, then sighed deeply. Cas had shared so much of his life with Dean already, and he wanted to reciprocate. More so, he wanted to get to know Cas better and for Cas to know him too.

“My, um… My parents died in a fire when I was little. Dad carried me and Sammy out, placed him in my hands and went back in for mom, but he never came back. Sam was only a few months old. Dad’s army friend took us in and it had been real rough the first few years. Especially since… Since I wouldn’t talk.” The admission came with a gulp and Dean honestly had no idea how he felt about it. He didn’t mind sharing, but he had never felt the urge to do it, like he did now.

“I wouldn’t talk for three years. Nothing. Not a peep. But I helped Bobby as much as I could and as much as he allowed me to. I think I was compensating maybe. Feeling guilty that I couldn’t talk so I tried to do everything else. I… I remember wanting to talk. I wanted it desperately, but I just couldn’t.” Dean took a deep breath and let it go, let it all go. It was something that he had dealt with a long time ago, but that still overwhelmed him sometimes and whenever he did, he had to visualize all the guilt, embrace it, then let it go. Lastly, he turned more bodily towards Cas and hesitantly set his hand over his, hoping that he wasn’t overstepping with yet another comforting touch.

“Jack is–he’s such a sweet, happy kid. And that’s all thanks to you. You’re doing an amazing job with him.” Dean could see the wobble in Cas’ lip and the tears gathering in his eyes once again. He squeezed his hand and offered him a reassuring smile. “I know it’s hard, especially since you don’t really seem to have anyone to help out, but he knows how much you are trying. He’s real smart and he sees it.”

“Thank уоu, Dean. Truly. I have been doing this for so long that I… I didn’t even realize how, um… How lonely I was doing it all by myself.” Dean could see that there was so much more Cas wanted to say, but the emotions were getting the best of him and he struggled to get the words out. Patting his hand, Dean made Cas meet his gaze, the warm smile still offering reassurances. 

“How about we watch some TV?” Dean offered, not sure how it would be received. Cas was clearly tired, but he seemed to appreciate Dean’s company. And Dean didn’t really want to go, not just yet. When Castiel nodded, Dean’s smile widened and he reached for the remote on the coffee table and handed it to Cas. Dean positively beamed at him for the choice of watching old episodes of Buffy.

About twenty minutes into the episode, Dean noticed Cas fell asleep. He was leaning on the armrest, head barely held upright by his hand. As gently as he could, Dean pulled him into a more comfortable position and covered Cas with the blanket that was on the back of the couch. He took another moment to observe him, feeling just a little creepy doing it. But Cas just seemed so peaceful and Dean couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

Finally, Dean turned around. He checked on Jack, finding him sprawled like a starfish on the bed and shook his head fondly. He carefully tucked him in with his Paw Patrol covers then left, making sure that the doors locked behind him.

Part Two - Giving love a chance

The next day Dean got to work on time. He heard from Becky that the Cortega meeting was rescheduled and he had two days to make the calculations Ca–Mr. Novak needed. Dean had to be careful, even if the two of them developed a friendship, he had to maintain some level of professionalism while at work. 

Aside from a very warm smile he had received from his boss that morning, Dean hadn't seen Mr. Novak most of the morning. When lunch time came and went and Mr. Novak still hadn't left his office, Dean decided to pay him a visit. Nobody really paid him any mind when he waltzed over the boss' office with a coffee mug in his hand.

"Dean!" Castiel seemed startled to see him. Dean offered a smile, polite, but warm and lifted the mug.

"Thought you could use a pick-me-up." Castiel's eyes slid to the mug, going wide as they noticed the steam rising above it. For a second it seemed like he would be ready to pounce, but then he took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"That is much appreciated, thank you." Castiel smiled and motioned for Dean to take a seat.

"You're welcome. I don't want to keep you too long, I know you've got work to do. Just came in to tell you I got the first quarter for the Cortega completed and I am well into the second one, I might wrap that up today and then work on the final two quarters tomorrow." Dean's words slowed as he got to the end, confused as to why Castiel was watching him with wide eyes filled with surprise. "What, I got something on my face?"

Castiel huffed a laugh. "No, no, I just… Thank you. I completely forgot about those calculations, again. You are really–" he cut himself off, either having a hard time coming up with a word, or thinking of one that might be slightly inappropriate. 

"Awesome?"

Castiel's smile grew, a mesmerizing sight. He laughed and nodded. "Yes, Dean. You are awesome."

"Thank you, Mr. Novak." Dean really hoped that the heat he felt in his cheeks wasn't manifesting as a blush.

"Castiel, please. At least when we're alone. Or Cas. I really liked that."

"You got it, Cas." They were both grinning, staring at one another for a whole minute before Dean somehow snapped out of it, then quickly rose to leave the office. "I'll, um… Leave you to your work."

Dean returned to his desk with an added spring to his step and a secret smile on his face. Despite that giddy feeling in the pit of his stomach, Dean managed to finish all his work for the day and even set up notes for tomorrow. 

The next day flew by, but Dean still managed to sneak a few minutes and bring Cas another coffee from the kitchen. He ran into some complications when he started working on that last quarter. There were some reports missing from the Cortega files, but Dean managed to track them down and finish everything by the end of the day.

The Cortega meeting was a complete success! Dean sat in the back and watched Cas give the full financial report that impressed the client and made them agree to the partnership for this big project. They should all be able to relax a little after this, at least until the project was complete and the company moved on to the next one. Dean thought he might persuade Cas to go for a celebratory piece of pie for lunch, but the man rushed off somewhere right after the meeting. Dean just shrugged and went to lunch with his coworkers.

When he returned, Becky told him that the boss was back in, that the CEO came to request extra calculations for the expansion of the project and that– Becky’s rant was cut off by a crashing sound coming from Cas’ office and without thinking twice about it, Dean rushed in.

Cas was by the filing cabinet, panting and holding it from falling over completely, the drawers hanging open and files scattered all over the room while Jack lay on the ground, giggling. Dean huffed a laugh and entered the room, asking if everyone was okay, even if they seemed fine.

“I should have anticipated Jack trying to climb the damn thing, he loves doing that. I have all the dressers bolted to the wall at home,” Cas said with a sigh, straightening the cabinet while Dean went on collecting the papers. Thankfully, most stayed in their designated folders, so they wouldn’t have to sort through them all. Jack yelled happily and jumped off the ground, rushing to Dean and nearly knocking him off his feet. Castiel tried to chastise him, but Dean was laughing and all the man could do was shake his head fondly at them.

 “Hey, buddy! How you’ve been?” Dean ruffled Jack’s hair, making him giggle and squeeze Dean tighter. After a minute or so, he grabbed Dean’s hand and led them to the corner of the office where Cas had set up a chair with some puzzles for Jack to play with. They totally left Castiel to pick up the files. “Hey, what you got there? Oh, is that a Paw Patrol puzzle?”

Of course it was. It was actually a little thick book, each page was a puzzle with four big pieces to fit in. Jack handed Dean the book, then waited until Dean opened it to the first empty spot. The colors of the page were a good indicator which puzzle pieces were supposed to fit there and Jack easily picked them up. He shoved them in Dean’s hands, but Dean must have been too slow, because Jack snatched them away and put the picture together by himself. They repeated this process with all 6 puzzles, each showing a different pup. Once they were done, Jack made Dean shut the book with a snap, then grabbed it and set it aside. Then proceeded to attempt and climb Dean.

“Jack, no, stop pestering–”

“Eeeee!!! Eeeee!! Bet-laam! Beeeet-laam!” the boy screamed right next to Dean’s ear, making him wince. Castiel tried to take him away from Dean, but the kid wouldn’t budge, instead he kept shouting.

“It’s okay, Cas, I got him.” Dean begged, hoping the man would stop trying, because he was only upsetting Jack more.

“I apologize, he’s never been this attached to someone. Do you want me to–”

“No, it’s okay, really.” Dean moved to sit on the chair with Jack in his lap and picked up the puzzle book again. Jack took it with delight and started flipping through it. Dean indicated to the now mostly sorted filing cabinet “Sorry about the–” 

Cas just waved him off and went back to his desk, almost throwing himself into the seat and leaning back. The tiredness was evident on his face, with the light bags under his eyes and the line between his brows that seemed to settle in a permanent frown. Dean eyed him with concern. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah. Yes,” he sighed, turning to face them. “The daycare called, Jack was throwing a fuss about something and they didn’t know how to calm him, or what he even wanted. And when Miss Hannah tried to get him to stand up, he pinched her.”

Dean hummed. Cas looked at him, tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at him, and Dean felt his cheeks burn up under the scrutiny. A few moments passed where Cas just stared at him and Dean tried to pretend he was watching Jack play with the puzzle, but instead felt the intensity of the man’s gaze. Not able to stand the suspense any longer, Dean took a deep breath and voiced his opinion, even if he still couldn’t look at Cas. “Good.”

“Good?” Cas didn’t seem outraged, more confused, so Dean chanced a look.

“Yeah. I mean, she was kind of condescending when she talked to you and the cop lady. And isn’t it kind of her job to work with kids like Jack? You told me that, since he is a special needs child, they accepted him into the daycare and locked up the group and aren’t taking in new kids, and the teacher is getting a special bonus from the city. Seems like she wants all the benefits, but not to actually help Jack. She was probably rude to him or even tried to make him do something he didn’t want and when she became too pushy, he pushed back. I’m not saying it’s a good thing, but it’s the only way he seems to know how to respond.”

Only when he finished did Dean realize he might have been out of line. Still that didn’t make him any less right and he really hoped Cas won’t berate him or get angry with him. 

“Eeeee! Eeeee!” Jack happily chirped in his lap, content with his little puzzle book and Cas let out another deep sigh. 

“You’re right. I don’t like her much either. But it is the only option I have. Jack has also been approved for a personal assistant, but I haven’t been able to find anyone.” Cas had mentioned the personal assistant before. Dean had an idea about it, one he came up with last night after spending most of his evening thinking about Cas and Jack.

“Um, about that. I remember you mentioning it before, if I got it right, the assistant doesn’t need any special qualifications, right?” Cas immediately beamed up, a hopeful expression on his face. He didn’t need to say more. “I… Yeah, I might have someone in mind, if you want to meet her. She’s a programmer, but lately she’s been looking for a more, um, outdoorsy job.”

“Yes, please! I’d love to meet her.”

“I’ll text you her number.” Dean smiled. He had hoped Cas would consider Charlie. It was perfect really, and Dean was certain they would hit it off. 

Dean offered to keep Jack company until Cas could finish the extra calculations, for which Castiel thanked him profusely. After they were done, Dean tried to leave, to finish his own work, but Jack wouldn’t let him. As much as Cas tried to persuade the boy to let go of Dean, Jack wouldn’t budge. In the end, Dean transferred all his work for the next day and stayed with Jack until it was time to go home. But Jack wouldn’t let him then either.

“No, Jack, Dean needs to go home and we have to pick up dinner and go as well.” Castiel pulled Jack’s hand tentatively, while the boy kept babbling and yelling his 'Es' (Dean was secretly hoping that particular sound was Jack’s name for him).

“Um, I am not sure what your plans are, but I am free, so I can join you. If that’s okay with you, I mean, I don’t want to impose or anything…” Dean’s cheeks were burning up and he was sure Cas could notice, but when he met the man’s eyes, all he could see was an incredulous look.

“You’d… You’d want to do that?”

“Of course. Jack’s pretty fun to be around and, well… You’re not a bad company yourself. Besides, I left that drawing Jack made me back at your place, so I should probably go back to get it.” Dean offered an excuse he hoped Cas would take. He knew he was rambling a little, but he couldn’t help it. He really wanted to spend more time with both of them. 

Cas smiled shyly, and averted his gaze for a moment, blushing just as hard as Dean. When he looked up, the smile was still present as he gave Dean a small nod. Cas drove them to the pizza place to pick up their order and then to his house where they ate, chatting about everything and nothing.

Just like the last time, Cas was very attentive and just amazing with Jack, anticipating his every need and dealing with whatever new situation occurred. He was so dedicated to Jack that he was able to understand the boy even without any words spoken.

Dean once again tried to help out as much as he could. When Cas went to help Jack clean up after dinner, Dean took care of the few dishes and threw away the empty cartons. Jack dragged him to the living room, then climbed on the couch and bounced on it while holding Dean close, babbling happily. Dean tickled him a few times, making the boy giggle, his laughter and happiness so contagious. 

The playtime developed into this whole activity where Dean pretended to be a plane and Jack was the passenger and they flew all across the living room, high and low. Exhausted, Dean fell on the ground, sprawling across the fluffy carpet and pretended to be asleep. Jack didn’t care much about it and proceeded to sit on Dean’s stomach and jump up and down.

Dean was helpless against the kid and felt grateful when Cas picked him off of Dean. Jack clung to Cas, having wrapped an arm around the man’s neck but he was reaching for Dean, with his free hand, making a grabbing motion. Dean huffed a laugh and came close, ready to pick the kid up from his father’s embrace. Jack wrapped his arm around Dean’s neck too, but instead of letting go of Cas, he pulled him close and proceeded to smash their heads together.

They both grunted and then started laughing, and Jack took their momentary distraction to literally jump into Dean’s embrace. He started climbing on his head and Dean let him, supporting him until Jack was securely seated on his shoulder, then started hopping and running around with him.

Jack calmed down a little when Cas brought out some snacks. The kid settled in front of the TV to munch on his chips, while Dean sat on the couch, a little winded from all the activity. 

“I am sorry–”

“Hey, no, none of that. If I didn’t like playing with him like that, I wouldn’t have. I’ve just overestimated my physical fitness.” Dean dismissed Castiel’s unnecessary apology. They sat there for a few minutes, both just watching Jack.

“He really likes you,” Castiel commented with a smile, and even though he couldn’t really see it, Dean shrugged.

“I really like him too.” Dean bit his lower lip, contemplating if he should tell Castiel that he really liked him as well. Just as he gathered up the courage to do so, Castiel’s phone rang. He frowned, looking over at the coffee table. The frown remained as he got up and went to retrieve it, but it transformed into resignation as soon as he saw who was calling.

“Sorry to do this, but could you keep an eye on him while I take this? I am hoping it won’t be long.” Dean waved him off, indicating that it wasn’t a problem. Cas stepped out into the kitchen and Dean just sat there, watching Jack eat his snacks. Once the bowl was empty, the boy stood up and brought it to Dean.

“Thank you, Jack.”

“Eeeee! Bet-laam!” The kid exclaimed and then just stood there, observing Dean for a moment. Finally, he grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled, indicating he wanted Dean to get up. So Dean did. Jack led him to the kitchen, towards the sink and Dean tried not to pay attention to Castiel’s conversation.

“... no, mom, I am just–... you know I can’t do that… that’s not–” Dean could see the moment the person on the other side said something that made Cas stop mid sentence, paling with shock. “You think I am not…” he uttered, barely a whisper. It took him a moment to regain his composure, and Dean was a little distracted by Jack pushing a plastic Paw Patrol cup in his hands to see the expressions on Castiel’s face. But he heard it in the man’s tone.

“Alright. Yeah, okay, I got it. I have to go now, mom.” This voice was cold, words chipped. Whatever she said must have hurt him. Dean busied himself with pouring Jack half a cup of water like he had seen Cas do before and then another one when Jack motioned for more. “Excuse me.” he heard Cas say, but by the time he turned around, the man was already gone.

Dean stayed the rest of the day, playing with Jack, but not making much conversation with Castiel who seemed subdued and distant. He would always respond when Jack wanted to interact with him, but the boy was happy to just sit at his little desk and draw or use the building blocks to make this long line, like a train track.

Dean didn’t know if he should leave, and if he attempted to, would Jack get upset, so after about two hours of tension, he finally gathered the courage to ask. “Maybe I should go?”

That seemed to snap Cas out of his daze. “No, please, um… I… I would like it if you stayed, Dean. Unless you have something else you need to– of course you do. We’ve been hogging your time all day, I apologize.”

“Hey, no, it’s okay. I told you, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to. I am just… Not sure what happened back there and you’re… You’re upset, I can tell, but I don’t want to overstep here.” What Dean really wanted was for Cas to talk to him and to let Dean comfort him. All he got was a smile that was a little bit forced, even if Cas seemed to appreciate his offer.

“I’ll be fine. It was nothing really, just my mother being her usual self. She cares a lot, she just lets some comments get away from her.” Jack came over to them, climbing onto the couch and curling up to the armrest. It was a distraction enough for Cas to refocus on Jack again. “Oh, no, you don’t. No sleeping now.”

“Why not let him nap?” 

“Because it’s too late for a nap, he should be going to bed in an hour. If I let him sleep now, he’ll wake up at 3 or 4am, fully awake and it will disturb his sleeping schedule.” Castiel explained and Dean gave him an uncertain look. “Trust me, it has to be this way. He is 6, old enough not to have to take naps during the day, and he needs to establish and maintain a good night routine.”

“You’re the boss!” Dean said with his hands raised in the air, and a smile on his face. The silly joke worked, it got Castiel to huff a laugh and smile too. “Okay, kiddo, you heard the bossman, no sleeping for you yet! Let’s go do something fun!”

Jack yelled and complained and whined for half an hour, always crawling back to his spot, but at least he didn’t fall asleep. Eventually they were able to get him back to his feet. He was jumping on the couch, giggling adorably, while Dean attempted to tickle him, but always seemed to miss, because Jack was that good at dodging him. It was fun.

When the bedtime rolled around, Castiel went to clean Jack up and help him brush his teeth while Dean waited in the living room. He noticed Castiel’s phone chiming, a notification popping up on the screen. He glanced at it and saw it was an email from the CEO, Mr Davies. He didn’t think much of it, except to tell Castiel his phone sounded before Jack dragged him to his bedroom, like it was part of a routine. Dean didn’t even finish reading the first page, Jack was already fast asleep. Carefully, Dean placed the book on the nightstand and quietly left the room.

“The kid’s out like a li– what happened?” Dean stopped in his tracks when he saw Castiel curled up on the couch, hugging his legs with his head buried between his knees. He came over and sat next to him, then placed a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “Cas?”

The man took a shuddering breath and lifted his head up, eyes slightly red rimmed and filled with tears. “I fucked up.”

“What are you talking about?” Dean was confused; everything had been fine a few moments ago. Not great, but not this bad either.

“The extra assesment Mick wanted me to do for the Cortega project, I fucked them up. In the final calculations, I made an error and he presented them with an offer that is way lower than it should have been.” Well, shit. Cas really rocked that meeting early this morning, but with everything that happened with Jack and the CEO rushing him to do this today, a mistake must have slipped by. Still, Dean saw those Cortega people. Their boss, Mr. Cain seemed like a really good guy and Dean was sure he would understand, and that they won’t lose this job over a technicality. And that’s what he told Castiel.

“I really hope so,” Cas said with a heavy sigh. He glanced at Dean for a moment then lowered his gaze, as if he was embarrassed to be seen like this. “It’s just… It’s a lot. I am trying really hard and most of the time I think that I am managing fine and then something happens and I just…”

“Is this about what your mom told you?” Cas nodded, biting down on his lower lip for a moment. 

“She means well, I know she does, but the things she says sometimes. It just… Stabs you. Right in the chest.” Dean was once again not sure if he should ask, but thankfully he didn’t have to, because after a moment, Cas offered the explanation himself. “She um… She made an off hand comment that I should dedicate more of myself to Jack. Like what I am doing isn’t enough. Like I am not enough. "

"Cas–"

"No, I know. I know I am doing the best I can and I know you're gonna say that Jack is lucky to have me, but it's just so hard sometimes. And I can't let myself fall apart, I can't, because he needs me and I can't fail him, I just can't." Tears were spilling, Castiel's breathing getting heavier and heavier. All Dean wanted to do was to draw him into a fierce hug and tell him it was going to be okay. 

As he watched Cas trying to get himself back under control, Dean wondered why he wasn’t doing that? Why was Dean holding back? If his sympathies weren't needed or wanted, Cas would push him away and it would be okay. But there was also a chance he wouldn't, that he would accept his comfort.

"Can I… Please let me give you a hug." He didn't even get to finish the sentence properly, Cas was already nodding vigorously, eyes screwed shut to hide the tears. Dean embraced him, pulling his head in the crook of his neck and held him tightly.

"It's okay. It'll be okay. You can let go. You can fall apart. I'll be here to put you back together. I promise." Castiel let out a gut wrenching sob, his hand twisting into Dean's shirt as he cried in his arms. Dean held him throughout, and just let him cry, let him get it all out, not caring one but about how inappropriate this was nor about the spreading wetness of his shirt. He didn't care. All he cared about was Castiel.

The man was so strong, juggling so much and doing it all by himself, it was truly admirable. Dean couldn't explain it, but he suddenly had this urge to help him, to support him, to be there for him. More. More than he already was.

Castiel was incredible and he deserved someone to take care of him too. He deserved to have someone to lean on, someone who would listen and be there for him. Dean wasn't sure if he was worthy to be that person for him, but he wanted to be, desperately. 

Cas was still shaking in his arms, but he seemed to have stopped crying. Dean slowly inclined his head, setting his cheek on Cas' head. They stayed like that for a while, with each passing second Cas seemed more calm, his breathing evening out to the point where Dean thought the man might have fallen asleep.

"You smell wonderful." Cas' quiet voice startled Dean a little before he even registered what the man had said. When he did, he huffed the smallest laugh. "Thanks."

His heart started beating faster with every second that the man in his arms moved. Cas allowed his head to slowly tilt back, dragging his forehead and then his nose along Dean's cheek until he finally managed to press his lips against Dean's skin. Dean gasped silently, a small thrill rushing through his body.

 Cas kissed his cheek twice, going lower until he reached his jawline. One tentative, uncertain brush of lips after another showed just how much Cas craved human contact, how much he needed to feel cared for. Dean couldn't take it anymore.

He nudged Cas slightly with his cheek, then dipped his head and captured Castiel's lips with his own. They were so soft and plump, simply perfect. Dean kissed him slowly, just feeling the sweet pressure of those amazing lips and enjoying every moment they touched him. The fist that held his shirt trapped tightened its hold, pulling him closer as Castiel arched his body, desperate for more. 

Tentatively dragging his tongue over the Cas' lower lip, he waited until the man opened up for him and then dipped his tongue inside, meeting Castiel's. He tasted like the PB&J the three of them snacked on before Jack's bedtime, so sweet and so perfect, Dean thought he could never get tired of it.

One hand moved, Dean loosening his embrace on the man, fingers splaying as he pressed his palm to Cas’ back. The other hand moved to gently cup Cas’ cheek, thumb moving to caress the smooth skin. It felt amazing, to have the man in his arms like this and to hold him together, soothe some of his aches with kisses and gentle, but firm touches. 

Dean couldn’t explain it, why his heart sored at being allowed to do this, nor did he know at which point Cas stopped being just another acquaintance and started being something more. A friend, for sure, but also someone he felt drawn to, someone that was getting to be really special, fast. 

Cas started shaking a little, his actions growing more desperate, a little frantic, almost as if he feared that, if they stopped, he wouldn’t get to feel any more of Dean’s confort. Dean attempted to ease the anxiety within him, pressing his palm into the man’s back and running it in soothing circles, but it wasn’t helping. He had to break their kiss, and as soon as he did, a small whimper escaped Cas’ lips.

“Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay. I got you. I got you.” He tightened his hold on the man, hands running over his back, but it wasn’t enough. Cas might have thought that getting off could be a way for him to be cared for, but that was just a momentary thing, one that could leave him embarrassed, maybe even ashamed. It wasn’t what he needed.

Dean pulled away a little, his hand slipping under Cas’ shirt to brush against the bare skin there. Cas ducking his head, breaking eye contact was enough to confirm he didn’t really want sex right now. He wanted the closeness, the intimacy it provided, just like Dean thought. Luckily, he got an idea.  

Taking a deep breath and maintaining the comforting smile, Dean unbuttoned his shirt and slowly took it off, his undershirt following quickly. Cas struggled to look Dean in the face and not take in his bare torso, and it was adorable. “Come on. Let’s get you more comfortable.” 

There was a little bit of uncertainty in those sky blues, but he still complied and removed his shirt when Dean tugged it up. Not wanting to keep Cas waiting long, even if he wanted to drink in the sight of him, Dean opened his arms and pulled the man into his embrace. Feeling Cas’ warm skin against his own was the most incredible thing ever. They pressed close, Dean could feel Cas’ heart race as fast as his own, but it was okay. It was new and exciting and soon, they would both relax and settle. 

“There we are. Just like this.” Dean whispered, brushing his lips against the man’s cheekbone. His hands went back to caressing every patch of the skin he could, making sure no area got cold. After a while, he felt Cas’ shoulders sag as the tension left his body. Dean hummed approvingly, causing the man to chuckle.

“This is nice,” Cas said as his own hands snaked around Dean’s waist, but then amended. “This is really nice.” His lips kiss the top of Dean’s shoulder.

“Hm, yes, it is. I’m just worried you’ll get cold, is there a blanket somewhere close?” At Dean’s question, Cas tightened his hold on him, as if he didn’t want to let go, in case Dean might disappear or, turn away and run. Which was far from the truth as at this point, Dean didn’t think he would be able to detach himself from Cas ever again. 

Not moving and not looking up, Cas murmured something inaudible in Dean’s shoulder. 

“I didn’t catch that.”

Cas sighed then reluctantly pulled away. He took a minute before he finally met Dean’s gaze. “I said I wish you’d stay. Would– um. Would you consider staying the night? To just…” He trailed off, breath coming out shaky as he looked down, unable to voice what he wanted.

“I’d love that. I–” Dean rushed to say, cutting himself off for a moment, once again thinking he might be overstepping. This was strange, the entire situation. Dean never believed in soulmates, he still didn’t, but there was just something about Cas that kept drawing him in, kept him wanting to be there, for him, with him. So he sucked in a breath and dared to ask for it. “I’d love to stay. I just–I just want to hold you. And kiss you.”

“Yes.” The word rushed out of Cas with a breath of relief, his smile widening, eyes sparking up with excitement.

Dean insisted Cas take the first shower, resisting the urge to ask to join him and help him wash, fearing it might lead somewhere neither of them were ready for yet. Cas promised to be quick and in just ten minutes, he emerged out of the bathroom in his pajama bottoms. Dean followed him into his bedroom, delighted to see the king size bed and the abundance of fluffy pillows on it. He took the offered pajama bottoms, then hurried into the bathroom. It was the fastest shower he had ever taken, but he didn’t care - he just wanted to be with Cas.

Both of them grinned at each other once Dean reentered the bedroom, Cas sitting on the bed and waiting for him. He was nervous, fidgeting with his fingers, but seemed excited too. Dean could certainly relate. 

He had had the one night stands, and a few relationships along the way, but nothing seemed this big, this important. Sitting next to Cas, knees bumping, he immediately reached to pull him in for a kiss. Nothing too much, just a soft, lazy kiss that hopefully conveyed all the warmth, joy and excitement he felt. His hand found Cas’ body once again, and the man returned the touch, not so reluctant now. 

“Come on, let’s get you in the bed,” Dean said after a few minutes, feeling himself getting cold, and considering Cas was sitting here, waiting for him for much longer, it was surprising the man wasn’t shivering already.

“What, no foreplay?” Cas quipped, making them both chuckle. They both moved to arrange themselves on the bed, under the covers, and this time Cas was a little more free to settle the way he wanted to. He pushed Dean flat on his back and made him lift his hand, then settled next to him, using his shoulder as a pillow. His chest was pressed against Dean’s side and he threw his leg over Dean’s while his hand settled on his chest. Dean put his hand over Cas' arm, the other wrapping around his back, caressing him and holding him close. 

The next few minutes, aside from the sound of them breathing, were spent in silence. 

"This is very nice, it feels really good," Cas said, moving his hand across Dean's chest. Dean only hummed to show he agreed, his eyes already drooping. He struggled to stay awake, wanting to commit every moment to memory. But it was when he felt Cas take in a deep breath, that his mind cleared, his focus returning to the man in his arms.

“I don’t… I don’t know what this is. This between us. Right now. But I would really like to find out what it might be.” Dean could feel the man’s throat bob as Cas swallowed thickly. Dean on the other hand was beyond thrilled over this, and it showed with a breathy laugh that left him the moment Cas said it. He moved his head while his hand reached to cup Cas’ cheek and tilt his head to meet his eyes.

“I would really like that, too.” Dean responded to Cas’ widening smile with one of his own. He leaned to kiss him, Cas thankfully meeting him half way. It was the softest kiss yet, filling Dean with happiness and joy. They ended up just lazily kissing for a few minutes before the position got too awkward. Dean could tell Cas debated moving to deepen the kiss or stay wrapped up in Dean’s arms. They broke apart, for now, then talked a little more. Cas dozed off first, tired after the day he had had, and Dean just watched him sleep, a small smile on his face.

Dean didn’t remember when he fell asleep. He had no idea what he dreamed about, but he knew it had been very pleasant and he would have rather stayed there than be awoken by a scream.

“Tla aaa! Eeeee! Eeeee!”

“Jack!” Castiel stammered out, face contorted in pain as he curled inwardly, hands holding onto his crotch. It would seem that Jack jumped on the bed and accidentally hit a bullseye. “Oh, sh-oot! Cas, you okay?” 

“P-eachy.” The man croaked and tried for a smile, but it was more like a grimace. He breathed in and out for a few moments, getting his bearings. Dean stood up and took Jack, making sure that he didn’t hurt himself or Cas again. “Hey, there little guy, how are you?”

“Eeeee! Eeeee!” He shouted right into Dean’s ear (he was going to have to learn to anticipate that). Cas groaned again as the pain must have been lessening and Dean gave him a reassuring smile. Then his eyes caught sight of the digital clock. It said 05:30. Huh. Jack must be an early riser. That was good, it meant that Dean would have time to go home and change for the day, maybe even get breakfast. Or, make them one.

“Come on, kiddo, let’s go make your Dad breakfast while he catches a few more Z’s, how about it?”

“Bet-tlam!”

“Yeah, you and I are going to have some fun, we’re gonna make pancakes! You like pancakes?”

“Eeeee!!!”

“I’ll take that as a yes, then.” Dean chuckled, then glanced back at Cas, seeing the man smile at them. 

It felt like the start of something great.