Chapter Text

“ You, Inej. You.”

A little over a week passed aboard the Ferolind. Inej woke a few days in, to the great joy of everyone. Her complexion seemed a paler shade than usual, but she walked tall and assured the rest of the crew she was alright each time they asked, which was probably far too many times. Inej always just laughed, waving them off, but Kaz could tell she was grateful for the care and concern everyone had shown her. 

Kaz had no idea how to feel. Some part of him was relieved–mainly that he didn’t have to come up with another plan. Another part of him was angry that she’d made him worry that long and didn’t even have the courtesy to die. It felt pointless, all of those sleepless nights. 

A more rational part of him was simply relieved to have his Wraith return to them all. Everything seemed more right with her around, and his mood certainly had improved for a time.

At least, until he got the nerve to talk to her. 

He’d sat down beside her, resting his bad leg, and they’d talked through the details of the plan. The incinerator. She had brought up valid points, concerns that he’d been thinking of himself, and he was brought back to every moment he’d spent with her before this. Inej, on his windowsill, talking through plans with him late into the night, hammering out every single detail so that they knew going in that they’d succeed. It was part of their routine. And it was a comfort knowing that he hadn’t lost this because of a damned knife. 

He had tried to reassure her, as she brought up concern after concern, that she could trust him to lead his crew through this and get them out on the other side. For some reason, her acknowledgement of that trust was important to him. He didn’t know why. He didn’t want to admit why. 

She didn’t say anything. 

Instead, she brought up Pekka Rollins, and Kaz looked down and away from her. “So?” he responded, pretending just that damned name didn’t send a surge of resentment up his spine. 

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you go after him, Kaz.” Her eyes, the deepest brown he’d ever seen, in spite of the sunlight, stared up at him knowingly. Most of the Dregs would never dare to question him like this. 

Jordie would. Imogen would have. And now, Inej. 

“He’s just another boss, one more Barrel thug.”

“No, he isn’t.” She let that hang between them for a moment, before continuing, “When you go after the other gangs, it’s business. But with Pekka Rollins, it’s personal.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could think about it, before he could stop himself: “Pekka Rollins ruined my brother’s life.” He explained. “He’s the reason he’s… the way he is.”

Inej’s eyes had moved to Jordie, signing away to Jesper and Wylan. She’d always wondered what had made the man lose his voice, why she’d only ever heard him croak when attempting to speak. He’d never told her Jordie was his brother, but she, like so many close to the two men, had worked it out for herself. “His voice?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

He looked away from her, out to the open sea, dark blue, reflecting the cloudless sky above them. It was one of the only clear days they’d had this entire trip. “Kaz–” She hesitated, and he tore his gaze from the sea to look at her. “I’ll pray for him. For healing. I’ll pray you both find peace together, too.”

She had noticed, then, that he hadn’t spoken to his brother in days. The distance that had grown between them since Jordie’s little revelation. Did his brother deserve the silence? Perhaps not. But Kaz knew well his brother’s follies. He knew his brother could be greedy, and naive, and that was the reason they were the way they were in the first place. A huge part of him resented Jordie, resented the idiot he’d been at thirteen, and resented the man he’d become.

He was weak , in Kaz’s eyes. His heart wasn’t in the Dregs, and Kaz knew that. 

A week ago, he’d found his brother crouched over a paper, sketching the fields and rolling hills of their home in Lij. He still missed the farm. 

Well, if they managed to make it home with four million kruge, no thanks to Jordie’s actions, his brother could buy back the farm and Kaz would never have to see his sorry face again.

Of course, his brother didn’t know that Kaz already owned the Rietveld farm. He’d owned it for years.

More profit. 

“I don’t want your prayers,” he eventually answered Inej, who sighed. It was true, though. He didn’t. Jordie might appreciate it, but he wasn’t thinking about his brother right now.

“What do you want then?”

The old answers came easily to mind. Money. Vengeance. The dead in my head silenced forever. But a different reply roared to life inside him, loud, insistent, and unwelcome. You, Inej. You.

He shrugged, and turned away. “To die buried under the weight of my own gold.”

It wasn’t an answer she wanted, and the disappointment shone on her face. “Then I’ll pray you get all you ask for.”

Kaz wanted to stop this. To storm off and hide away. This was not how he wanted his first conversation with Inej after her injury to go. They’d been sitting so close together—so close he’d wondered what would have happened if he closed the distance—but now she angled her body away from him, wrapping her arms around her chest.

He forced himself to speak: “More prayers? And what do you want, Wraith?”

“To turn my back on Ketterdam and never hear that name again.” 

He didn’t blame her. Ketterdam had been nothing but evil to her, himself included. And anyway, if she wasn’t around, he wouldn’t have to deal with these nagging feelings. Never again . He’d told himself that after the disaster with Imogen. Never again . She’d be better off as far away from Ketterdam–and him–as possible.

“Your share of thirty million kruge can grant that wish.” He pushed to his feet. “So save your prayers for good weather and stupid guards. Just leave me out of it.”

Since then, he’d made sure to stand on the opposite side of the deck as Inej, and hadn’t spoken a word to his brother. It had been over a week, but there was work to do, so as soon as Nina had tailored Matthias to look distinctly less Fjerdan, he sought her out below deck. 

“I need you to tailor Jordie, too,” he told her, and she sighed at him.

“Have I mentioned to you before that I’m not a tailor, Brekker?” she complained, but he sent her a look that told her he wasn’t feeling in a joking mood at the minute.

She stood from her little cot and began to look through her tailoring kit. “What do you need him to look like? Less like you?” she teased, but he didn’t take the bait.

“Lighten his hair. Grow it a little, if you can–enough to tie back like the Fjerdans do. Lighten his eyes and his skin. Get rid of freckles and moles.” Things Jordie had earned by spending too much time in the sun, working the field as a boy, or working at the docks. “And change the shape of his nose. It’s very Kerch,” he added.

Kaz had the same nose, but his nose had been broken far too many times to match Jordie’s. 

Nina studied him for a minute, then sighed, and gathered up a few things. “It’ll take a few tries for me to lighten his hair and eyes to any noticeable degree.” She warned, and he nodded. She’d said the same of Matthias, and Jordie’s change was far less subtle–his hair far darker, the same black as Kaz’s.

“And, oh, High Lord of The Plan , why do you want your brother to look Fjerdan?” she asked, but Kaz was already turning to leave, expecting her to follow him to find Jordie.

“Fine, don’t answer me. I’m sure I’ll figure it out on my own,” she complained, as he led her above deck, since that was where his brother tended to frequent, trying to keep Jesper from jumping out of his skin in sheer boredom.

He led her to where Jordie sat with Wylan, both of them leaned over the schematics of one of the ringwall gates. There was a bit of a language barrier. Wylan had been diligently attempting to learn the signed language, but kept asking Jordie to restart, too afraid of missing something and too much of a perfectionist to dare making a mistake, even when Jordie was patient. He seemed to be improving in his understanding of it, though.

Jordie looked surprised to see Kaz approaching, and Wylan looked between the two brothers expectantly.

“Wylan, go find Matthias and let him look over the schematics with you. Try to see if he can remember what the metal was made of.”

Wylan hopped up and tried to sign goodbye to Jordie, which he did slowly but accurately.

Nina moved to take Wylan’s place, while Kaz remained standing, leaning on his cane.

“I’ve been instructed to tailor you to look Fjerdan,” Nina explained, and Jordie nodded, having expected this. He and Kaz had discussed his role within the Ice Court at length, and he at least trusted Jordie to pull it off.

Well, Kaz thought he trusted him. But this was the first time in a long time Kaz had put his trust in his brother–the first time since Jordie had made a catastrophic mistake.

Jordie straightened his shoulders, and turned his body to face Nina, who sat as close as she could, their knees touching. Kaz could see Matthias turn to look, staring at how close Nina had gotten to his brother. His eyes held a mixture of jealousy and resentment, which amused Kaz. 

While Kaz’s attention was on Matthias, Ninahad been leaning in close to Jordie’s face, studying it intently. She was so close, in fact, that Jordie leaned back a little instinctively. “Alright,” she hummed after a while, and opened her kit.

Kaz watched, unable to help himself. There were powders and creams, little jars full of pigment, and as he watched, she studied the contents before shaking her head and putting the kit aside.

“Why not use white?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as she began to pinch the tips of her fingers over Jordie’s hair, lock by lock, focusing her intent on only small sections at a time and gently pulling downwards from the root.

“Calcium,” Nina answered, seeing the way he had been studying the powders. “Natural white pigment would work, but it would take a lot more time.” She began to bleed the pigment out of Jordie’s roots, up through the ends of his hair. It was hard work, given how dark and thick the man’s hair was. “I prefer to strip the color. It will turn out a lot more natural than if I just put white over the black.”

Her face was pinched in concentration, her brows furrowed, creating a crease on her forehead. Kaz knew Nina wasn’t a confident tailor, but he trusted that she could do her job right. She’d done a decent job with Matthias, from what he could tell.

‘ Is it easier to darken than to lighten? ’ Jordie asked, though Nina wasn’t looking at his hands, so Kaz translated, repeating the question for his brother. 

Nina shrugged one shoulder, starting on the other side. “I don’t know about easier. It’s just color theory and chemicals. But it is a lot faster to deposit color than strip it away as I’m doing.” Jordie’s hair looked a strange mix of black, brown, and grey, the pigment not quite bled all the way to the ends just yet.

Nina pulled back to inspect it and snorted a laugh at just how ridiculous the man looked. 

‘ What?’ Jordie signed, looking around as if to see his reflection somewhere. 

“You’ve aged about sixty years,” Kaz answered, quirking a smile as his brother’s cheeks grew red. “Ought to add wrinkles, Zenik, just for the effect–”

He was cut off by Jordie shooting a hand out and shoving at his hip.

Kaz pulled on a scowl, stumbling back a step before righting himself with his cane. 

Nina pulled the pigment out all the way to the tips of Jordie’s hair, then did another pass through. In the end, Jordie’s hair was more of a light, greyish brown than any shade of blonde, but Nina was pleased with her progress. “It’ll take a few days, but I’ll be able to work it out to blonde,” she told Jordie and Kaz, who looked skeptical.

“And the length?” he asked, and she tutted at him.

“All in due time, Mr. Brekker. You can’t rush perfection. I’d rather have the pigment right before I grow his hair out,” she explained, and Kaz sighed.

At least they had the entire walk to Djerholm, which was likely to take a few days. He needed Jordie looking as Fjerdan as possible by the time they got there. Nothing they could do about the disadvantage of his mutism, but they could work around that. Just as long as he looked the part.

“The eyes,” he urged her on, and Nina nodded. She placed her hand on Jordie’s jaw, moving his head to face her.

Kaz noticed Matthias bristle on the other side of the deck. 

Oh, if only he knew , Kaz thought.

Not only was Nina Zenik head over heels for the brooding Fjerdan, but the last person Matthias needed to be worried about was his brother. Jordie had never shown a lick of interest in anyone of any gender, and Kaz wasn’t sure he ever would. His brother enjoyed flirting back with Jesper and Nina, but it never went further than that.

Even now, Nina’s soft touch was familiar, relaxed, and Kaz knew if he were able to hear his brother’s heartbeat, it would be even. There was no attraction there. No skip of a heartbeat, no intake of breath, no flush of his cheeks. 

Not that Kaz was familiar with any of those sensations, himself.

He’d let that ship sail long ago. 

A movement in the corner of his eye made him glance over, but he quickly turned away. Wylan and Inej had emerged from below deck, quietly and animatedly chatting about something Kaz couldn’t quite make out. He quickly turned his attention back on his brother.

“I know it’s uncomfortable, but try to keep your eyes open,” Nina told Jordie, who made a face as she leaned close, placing her fingers so close to his eyes that Kaz couldn’t tell if she was touching him or not.

“Is–?” he began, but she shushed him.

“Do you want me to blind Rietveld here, Kaz? Stay quiet, this is difficult,” she chastised, and he sighed audibly, wanting to make his annoyance known to her. He leaned his back against the railing, letting his cane rest against his leg, and watched.

Slowly, she began to bleed the pigment out of his eyes, and Kaz watched, mesmerized. At first, it didn’t look like much was happening, but he could start to see the inside of Jordie’s irises turning a lighter brown, as Nina worked the pigment out of them. It was fascinating, and he leaned in closer.

“You’re breathing down my neck,” Nina complained, but Kaz didn’t move. Jordie, for his part, was sitting completely still, though Kaz could see the strain in his eyes from holding them open.

When Nina finished with the second eye and gave Jordie a break, Kaz watched his brother’s entire posture change. He slumped down, bringing one hand up to cover his eyes.

Kaz pulled over a barrel to sit beside his brother. “Does it hurt?” he asked curiously.

Jordie shook his head in response, staring up at Kaz, looking a little surprised he was being spoken to directly after so many days of silence. ‘N o. Just stings keeping my eyes open so long ,’ he signed.

Kaz watched for another hour as Nina slowly and carefully stripped the pigment from Jordie’s eyes. In the end, his hair was a far lighter brown, and his eyes were the darkest blue Kaz had ever seen. He leaned in close, studying them, then nodded in approval. A few more days of this and Jordie would look just as Fjerdan as Matthias.

Nina quickly and easily removed any freckles from his face, and a mole beside his eye, one Kaz shared under his own. She then widened Jordie’s nose a little, which was strange to see. His brother looked like his brother, but…not. 

Perhaps that was better now. 

They began to approach the shore the next morning, their boat moving closer as the sun moved higher in the sky. Kaz and the others dressed in warm clothes and made sure all of their things were packed away in bags they could easily carry across the ice. They traded in the shoes they had worn this far for something more practical, and Kaz was forced to leave his crow head cane in favor of one far less conspicuous. 

The row to the shore was uncomfortable. All six of them were crammed into a tiny rowboat, and the water outside was spraying freezing water against their cheeks. Each time Kaz rowed, more water dripped down from the oars onto his clothes and inside his sleeves, where it settled against his skin.

But if Kaz thought the row was bad, it was nothing compared to the hardships promised by the terrain beyond the rocky shore.

Ice. All Kaz could see was ice once they emerged from the boat and made it to the top of the cliff. His leg ached from the cold already, but he urged the others on as they began the long trek south. They all seemed just as eager to be getting on with it, as even Jesper was quiet, all of them focused on moving forward.

That night, they all set up their tents without much fanfare. Jordie stayed with Kaz, though neither spoke, both of them huddled on separate ends of the tiny tent as they tried to sleep through shivers. 

In the morning, the silence broke, as Kaz knew it would. The others were eager to know the plan, and Kaz had been withholding most of the details this entire time. He told them everythings–everything he felt they needed to know, at least. He went over what would happen when they got into the prison, and later, out of the cells, and answered all of their myriad of questions as soon as he was done explaining.

Matthias had the most concerns, of course, but Kaz managed to talk the Fjerdan down from mutiny by the time the questions stopped. 

That took hours, though.

They went through the entire plan again and again, making sure that each detail had been memorized by everyone. Matthias, amusingly, imitated the different patterns of the bells, and Kaz and Jesper couldn’t help but snicker every time they heard him sing out, “ bing bing bong bing bing ” in his deep voice.

They went through each protocol over and over again: Yellow Protocol for sector disturbance, Red Protocol for sector breach, and Black Protocol for…

“We’re all doomed?” said Jesper.

“That about covers it,” Matthias had answered, and the questions had continued on. 

At least, until the pyre. 

It was horrific. There was no other word for it. All of them stood unmoving, staring at the burned bodies of the Grisha up on the stakes. Jordie, eyes wide, immediately stepped in front of Kaz, but Kaz stepped around him, batting him away halfheartedly with his simple, wooden cane.

Wylan was the first to speak, after getting his gagging under control: “ Ghezen, what is this?”

“This is what Fjerdans do to Grisha,” Nina answered, her voice cracking with emotion.

“It’s what criminals do,” corrected Matthias. “The pyres have been illegal since—” 

Nina whirled on him and shoved him in the chest. Jordie stepped forward to grab her arm, but she pushed him back. “Don’t you dare,” she seethed, her voice furious.

Beside Kaz, Inej shifted, wrapping her arms around her chest uncomfortably, turned away from the burned bodies. “Tell me the last time someone was prosecuted for putting a Grisha to the flames? Do you even call it murder when you put down dogs?”

“Nina—” Matthias tried, but she continued on. Kaz could see that this was a losing battle. 

“Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?”

Matthias opened his mouth to answer. Jordie was signing for them all to stop, and even Kaz was about to intervene when they all heard it.

A moan. 

Kaz’s head shot to the nearest stake, but the sound wasn’t coming from him.

“Saints,” Jesper said, his voice quieter than usual. “One of them is still alive.”

The sound came again, and Kaz’s stomach lurched. The one on the far right.

Nina sobbed and raised her hands, but they were too shaky. She turned to the others, her eyes full of tears. “I… please, someone…”

Kaz turned to look between Inej and Jordie, but Jesper had already moved.

Within less than a second, two shots rang out, and the body fell quiet again.

Kaz cursed and turned on the man. “Damn it, Jesper. You just announced our presence for miles!”

‘ He put the poor thing out of its misery, Kaz,’ Jordie reasoned, but Kaz ignored him. 

“So they think we’re a hunting party,” Jesper argued back.

“You should have let Inej do it.” 

Inej shifted beside Kaz, moving a little further away. “I didn’t want to do it,” she answered quietly, and instantly something within Kaz twisted. “Thank you, Jesper,” she added.

Kaz opened his mouth to argue again, but Nina had choked out a thank you and began to walk away. Matthias was quick to follow, leaving the others in a bit of a stunned silence. 

Jordie walked over to Inej and led her a few feet away, while Wylan walked to catch up with them. Jesper had walked forward, staring at the pyre and the three unrecognizable Grisha.

Kaz hesitated a moment before carefully limping forward, forcing himself to stare at the three bodies.

Jesper had appeared unaffected before–at least not more so than anyone else–but now his face had twisted in grief.

Kaz stood beside him, following his gaze to the middle Grisha. He could just make out the faint trace of purple in the burned kefta, the golden designs turned black and charred. A Materialnik. 

Just like Jesper. 

It hadn’t taken long for Kaz to figure it out. After all, Jesper’s bullets never missed–especially not when they were working a job. Even someone with great aim missed on occasion. Kaz considered himself a decent enough shot and even he didn’t get it right every time. 

But Jesper did. Not only that, but Kaz had caught him bleeding color from a Two of Hearts once during a particularly bad run of it in Three Man Bramble.

After that incident, Kaz had taught Jesper how to use paraffin wax to cover his arms to get past the Grisha checks at the higher class clubs, and they’d left it at that. Kaz didn’t often require the use of a Durast on jobs, as Jesper’s skill with a gun was often far more handy. 

Kaz also knew that being Grisha was a bit of a sore spot for Jesper. Jordie had brought it up once, after he’d worked it out, and Jesper had been uncharacteristically combative about the whole thing. 

Now, Jesper stood, staring at the dead man in the very same kefta he might have worn had his life gone a different path, and Kaz saw grief reflected in his grey eyes. “Let it go,” he advised his friend, who jumped, not having realized he was so near. They stood nearly shoulder to shoulder. 

“I–” Jesper swallowed hard, audibly. “I knew it happened here, but to see the reality of it is something different,” he admitted, and Kaz nodded.

“We’re not in Kerch anymore. And we’re certainly not in Novyi Zem,” he said, and looked down at the snow brushing the edge of his boots. “Best to get on with it and move along, don’t you think? We can’t waste time mourning strangers.”

Jesper blinked, but did not turn his gaze away from the three. “I just can’t help but think this may have been my fate. This may still be my fate, if things go south.”

“Well, we’re walking south,” Kaz mused, and Jesper chuckled. “You won’t die in Druskelle hands, Jesper. You are far more useful to me alive.”

Jesper turned to look at Kaz, but Kaz didn’t dare meet his friend’s gaze. Jordie had walked over and thrown a hand around Jesper’s shoulders, taking a second before leaning forward to stare at his brother and sign, ‘ We should catch up with them .’

His brother was right. They shouldn’t separate, especially given the shot that had just rung out, alerting anyone around to their presence. Kaz sighed and nodded. “Let’s go. Inej, Wylan,” he called, and the group began to follow Nina’s footsteps through the snow, Jordie leading the way. 

The older Rietveld grimaced as he trudged through the deep snow, a shiver running through him, and Kaz chuckled. ‘ Thought you wanted to go to Fjerda ,’ he signed teasingly, and Jordie huffed, crossing his arms over his chest to warm up a little, taking his time before moving them to answer. 

‘ I did. Though perhaps summer would have been a better time? ’ He hesitated, then glanced back at the others. Jesper and Inej were shoulder to shoulder, while Wylan took up the rear, turning to look back at the pyre every once in a while, as if the dead would get up and follow them. ‘ Is Jesper alright? ’

Kaz shrugged in answer. Probably not, but there was nothing he could do about it. The Ice Court may well have worse displays than this if rumors were true. 

They heard voices up ahead, and Jesper jogged forward, past Jordie and Kaz.

Kaz heard Jesper reply to something Matthias had just said, and Nina turned to see the others joining.

“Stay out of this,” she told the others, but Jesper sighed. 

“If you two keep fighting, you’re going to get us all killed, and I have a lot more card games I need to lose.” 

“You must find a way to make peace,” Inej spoke up from her place beside Wylan, now arm in arm with him. Clearly, she’d been shaken up by this whole thing as well. Kaz didn’t know how he felt about that. “At least for a while,” she added.

“This is not your concern,” Matthias growled, and Kaz stepped forward immediately between the two.

“It is very much our concern. And watch your tone.” He didn’t like the murderous way Matthias had been staring at Inej.

Matthias threw up his hands, and Kaz wondered if they’d been arguing this entire time. “You’ve all been taken in by her. This is what she does. She makes you think she’s your friend, and then—”

Inej’s voice was disbelieving behind him. “Then what?”

“Let it go, Inej,” Nina started, but Matthias shook his head.

“No, Nina. Tell them. You said you were my friend once. Do you remember?” There was something in his voice that was not his usual Druskelle-learned hatred. It was hurt.

He began to tell them all the story of how he and Nina had traveled together after being shipwrecked–of the trust they had begun to have with one another. 

Nina spoke, as well, in turn, admitting what she had done to Matthias–how she had betrayed him, how she was the reason he had ended up in Hellgate. None of this was new to Kaz, as Nina had told him everything in one of their first meetings. He had all but forced the truth from her in exchange for even hearing her out. Then, of course, he had denied her before later agreeing.

Ultimately, it didn’t matter to him that she had betrayed someone. She had done her job, proven loyal to the Dregs. What did her past matter to him in light of that?

In the moment, all he felt was restless for the fact that this emotional display was holding up their progress. He found that he was barely listening, though the others seemed enraptured. They clearly hadn’t known any of this, judging by the shock on their faces as she told her story and pleaded that she felt it had been her only choice to save Matthias under the circumstances–that, in fact, she would do it again.

Kaz snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed Jordie turn to Jesper, signing quickly to him: ‘ Discuss this later.’

He saw Jesper nod in response , but before either of them could say or do anything more, the ground began to rumble beneath their feet. Kaz’s heart began to race and he braced himself, leaning hard on his walking stick. Jordie jogged over and held an arm out to offer further support, but Kaz ignored him, shaking his head to show he was fine.

“Are there fault lines this far north?” Wylan asked. 

“Not that I know of, but—”

Matthias didn’t get the chance to finish speaking. Slabs of earth began to rise from the ground all around them. Jordie grabbed Kaz’s arm, ignoring his yell of protest, and threw them both to the ground. Kaz sputtered as snow stuck to his face, his heart racing even faster as the cries of the others rose around him.

There was no denying it.  They were under attack.