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Five was in the apocalypse again, the first one. He didn’t know how, but he was. He knew exactly what he would find, but his body forced him to follow the exact same path that he had the first time. He saw all of his sibling’s dead bodies. Again. He had seen them dead so many times that it really should have no impact on him, but it did. It still hurt like hell every fucking time.
Five loved his family with every fiber of his being. He just didn’t know how to show it, especially after being alone for so long with no one but Delores to keep him company.
Five squeezed his eyes shut.
He didn’t want to do this again.
The boy felt his heart rate speed up and his breath was coming in gasps. He couldn’t do it again. It damn near killed him the first time.
But he couldn’t calm down. It kept getting harder and harder to breathe.
Then, Five woke up with a gasp. He looked around at the familiar room, his childhood bedroom. It was a dream! His siblings weren’t dead again. They were asleep in their own rooms.
Five knew it to be true, but that didn’t keep his mind from telling him that they were dead again.
He tried to go back to sleep, but he couldn’t.
Not until he checked in on his siblings.
Five went room by room, checking that his siblings were still alive. Klaus, Allison, and Luther slept straight through his visit. Viktor had turned over in his sleep almost waking up, but not quite.
He was shocked when he blinked into Diego’s room, were his brother was very much awake.
“What the hell, Five?” Diego had just gotten home from another vigilante mission. Lila was elsewhere tonight, thank goodness. It hadn’t occurred to Five that she might have been there. He would never have been able to unsee what she and Diego would have been doing.
Five starred at his brother in shock. He hadn’t expected Diego to still be awake. “Um… Hi,” he said, his gaze flittering to the ground. Diego sounded mad and he didn’t want Diego to be mad at him.
“Is something wrong, Five? Is there another apocalypse?” Diego had gone from annoyed to concerned. Five only came to them with problems if they were massive.
“No. Nothing like that,” Five said, his voice small. He was embarrassed at having been caught checking on Diego.
“What was it like then?”
Five wanted so much to just blink away, but he knew that Diego would try to find him and Five really just wanted to complete his mission and go back to sleep. He was so ridiculously tired.
“I just… I had a nightmare,” Five responded, embarrassed.
“Why did you come to me first?”
“I checked on everyone. You were just the last on the list. I didn’t know you were still awake.”
Five looked embarrassed and anxious, and Diego didn’t like to see his brother looking that way. Five was strong, smart, and independent. It took a lot to make him show his anxieties.
Diego finished removing his utility belt and sat on his bed. He gestured for Five to sit next to him, but was still surprised when the boy did. The small boy was shaking now. And Diego realized something in that moment.
Five may have had the intellect and memory of a full-grown man, but he was still at the emotional maturity of his fifteen-year-old self when he had disappeared. Five had never been good at regulating his emotions, but now, here he is, with the same problems that he had never been taught solutions for, only with added trauma. No wonder the boy was shaking like a leaf.
Five still had the emotional maturity of a fifteen-year-old with the trauma of someone a whole lot older.
Diego wrapped his arm around the shaking boy’s shoulders, then whispered, “Is this okay?”
Five nodded. Without warning, Five leaned into Diego and started to sob. Diego just held him and hoped that he could be enough comfort for his brother.
After a minute, Five had calmed down and Diego tried again to find out what happened. “Five, why were you checking on us?” he asked.
“I had a nightmare,” Five whispered hesitantly in response. “... about the first apocalypse. I saw all of you dead again and I was so afraid. I just had to make sure that all of us were still alive.”
Five buried his head in Diego’s chest again. Diego held him close and whispered, “It’s okay. We’re all okay. And you are too. You’re not there anymore.”
Five pulled away and said, “Thank you, brother. Now I’m tired. I’m going to sleep.”
It was clear to Diego that his brother was trying to slip into his usual I-Don’t-Care-Nothing-Hurts-Me attitude. But it was also clear that he was still hurting.
“Hey, Lila doesn’t come back for a few more nights. You could stay here with me for a while if it would help. At least until she gets back,” Diego needed to put the option out there before it was too late and his brother blinked away.
Five paused. “Really?”
After Diego nodded his confirmation, Five hesitated only a moment before jumping into the bed with his brother.
Diego wrapped his arms protectively around his brother and, when Five leaned into the touch, he made a mental note to remember that Five likes physical contact, at least sometimes, and to offer it more often to his brother.
“We’re all safe now, Five, thanks to you. Now get some rest, buddy.”
Usually Five would despise the use of the word “buddy” when directed at him, but he was already fast asleep.
As Diego looked down at his brother’s face, he knew that Five would be okay. He would just need a lot of help and support to get him there, but they did have four other siblings who could help them. Nothing would bring their family together quite like helping their traumatized brother.
And with that thought, Diego fell asleep as well.