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Tighnari never regretted the day he joined the Temple of Silence.
No matter how many roundabout ways Tighnari could think of the situation, the offer Alhaitham proposed was of sound reasoning and the most optimal solution for all parties. Cyno had given him everything and Tighnari only had himself to give back.
(If there was anything Tighnari regretted about the sudden turn of events that time, it was how Tighnari didn't wait for Cyno to wake up in the hospital before he made the decision.
They fought terribly, Cyno proclaimed how his choice was made under duress and Tighnari screamed how he hadn't, this is how I love. This is how I won't lose.)
The Temple wasn't so bad, they funded his research on formulating a cure against Eleazar. Tighnari could focus on honing his specialization without worries, he was provided extra protection by the Temple too. Cyno insistently requested extra provisions with his contract to which Alhaitham glanced at and approved.
His clinic was bigger with upgraded equipment and more competent staff too. But Tighnari knew better, these people were more than nurses and medical practicioners. They were delegated here to observe him, watch them.
After a year, the Medical Director died of reasons without disclosure and Tighnari was promoted. He didn't mind it, he wanted the position badly too. The Medical Director was privy to Cyno's classified records and examinations. He didn't need permission anymore and to top it off, he was assigned to be Cyno's personal doctor from then on.
The files were horrifying to read and it dawned once again to Tighnari how fragile Cyno was, how human he was, how Tighnari could lose him with one misplaced bullet.
Tighnari loudly announced to the Temple that Cyno wouldn't be tasked with missions without a health clearance from him as the Medical Director. The Temple however retaliated that if they ever caught Tighnari falsifying the status of Cyno's condition, Cyno would gravely suffer the consequences.
(The Temple takes everything, Cyno said. Tighnari should have listened, the Temple took their relationship and utilized it for the organization's needs.
They took their love and trust and twisted them in a convoluted mess. This was a hostage situation at surface level and Cyno and Tighnari were powerless against it.)
When Cyno was deposited to his office again after a week-long mission, Tighnari operated and patched him up with shaking hands. The problem was Tighnari was not merely Cyno's physician, the Temple expected him to return Cyno to perfect condition not only physically but emotionally and mentally as well.
If Cyno was a weapon, Tighnari was the person who ruthlessly sharpened him.
But Cyno was a double-edged blade, delicate to handle, yet efficient once mastered.
"Please hurt me," Cyno whispered once after a quick sex on the clinic. His wounds were safe and healing and Tighnari was only checking him up for any other side effects or anything he bypassed with Cyno's well-being, and Tighnari miserably overlooked one thing.
"Cyno," Tighnari fumed as he buckled his belt snug. "I told you a long time ago you cannot use me to punish yourself."
Cyno tugged his wrist and hauled him closer to the bed where Cyno sat. Tighnari couldn't look at him in the eye, or else he might crack. This wasn't the first time Cyno asked such things.
"It's not punishment," Cyno clarified.
You don't understand. Once we do this, there's no turning back.
"You will just let me destroy you this easily?" Tighnari hissed.
"Is it really destroying me if you're putting me back together like this?"
Cyno guided his hand to wrap around the column of his own neck. It's hot, scalding to the touch, and Cyno's collar didn't seem to be enough for Tighnari lately. "Hurt me until I forget what they do."
"So that every pain and pleasure of mine is only yours, not theirs-"
Tighnari hoarsely growled at the implications. His hand twitched where it rested on Cyno's throat.
"Remind me my body is yours," Cyno murmured, plucking the right strings. "Not a weapon for them."
It wasn't long before Cyno had to let go of his wrist and Tighnari was pushing Cyno down to the mattress by the neck. Cyno raised his hands instinctively to fight him but like a puppet cut of its strings, his arms fell to the sides.
Cyno could overpower him, he did one time when Tighnari accidentally triggered him. But that was the past, they were different people now, no longer in the light. They were sinking into darkness, and Cyno was pulling him down. Cyno had always been a dangerous sub to tackle, glaring red flags that demanded an equally dangerous dom to take care of.
The windpipe, careful of the windpipe...Lately, Cyno's collar had not been enough, Tighnari wanted to mark every inch of Cyno like an animal. Cyno's wounds weren't of his making, and he anguishly understood what Cyno meant.
But this?
Cyno rolling his eyes with tears beading at his lashes, jerking his legs but not resisting the weight on his neck. Tighnari with a carnal desire to brand himself onto Cyno completely. The lines and limits blurring between the haze of pain and pleasure.
This was out of their bounds, out of their league, something far greater that would destroy them eventually.
They never talked about their boundaries either, have they? Tighnari was content back then, and wasn't careful because he was selfish. Greedy.
Tighnari pried his palm away from Cyno's neck, but immediately yanked Cyno's wrist upwards. Cyno was not deterred by the manhandling, sitting upright by the will of Tighnari's clasp. Previous partners had to tie Cyno down, but Tighnari only had to touch him so he'd obey.
Cyno was heaving lungfuls of air, glassy-eyed, quaking at the seams, but never complaining.
His loyalty was addicting, his complete submission was heady. Perfect compliance that had Tighnari thinking, no wonder the Temple wanted Cyno to be theirs just as bad.
And Tighnari wanted to keep Cyno to himself. Fuck him mercilessly until there was no pain, only pleasure in those veins. Straddle him and play with every part of his body like a musician. Because his Cyno was such an exotic thing to hear, only for him. He would lock Cyno here in his clinic and mount him everyday if only Cyno would forget the nightmares outside their room.
It's unhealthy but the way Cyno rubbed his legs together, desperately relieving the growing erection there, had Tighnari and his control snapping.
He bloomed hickeys on Cyno's forearm, nipping his way up until Tighnari was sucking his jaw and Cyno was chasing his lips. Tighnari purposedly avoided him, grousing into his ear.
"Why do I need to remind you on who you belong to?" Tighnari lowered himself, salivating over Cyno's neck and collar. "Cyno, I am disappointed."
Tighnari bit Cyno down, and they both shivered at the thrill of it. Cyno was whimpering and clambering his hands up to his chest.
"I'm sorry," Cyno threw his head back when Tighnari began tasting iron in his mouth.
"You know apologies aren't enough," Tighnari's eyes were hooded as he leaned back, scrutinizing his handiwork.
His Cyno with trembling lips, and dilated ruby eyes as he offered himself to Tighnari.
"Please do whatever you want with me," Cyno parted his legs, like the slut he was for Tighnari.
"Good boy," Cyno blushed as Tighnari patted his thighs. "From this moment on, I want you to only listen to what I say."
Ah, but Cyno begged for punishment.
Tighnari kissed Cyno, his fingers encompassing the pink throat once again. Tighnari kissed Cyno open-mouthed, swallowing every guttural moan of his. He licked every crevice, chewed on his tongue, ravished every lobe and surface until Cyno was weak, until Cyno was just letting him do whatever he wanted.
Cyno squirmed restlessly, and Tighnari knew why. Tighnari breathed on his mouth and Cyno devoured his air, they went on passing oxygen back and forth like that. Until the corner of Tighnari's mind was also consumed by nothing but Cyno, Cyno, Cyno.
Cyno dug fingers to his hip, and Tighnari removed himself from Cyno instantly. His stare was dark and ravenous, as if he was parched for the first time in his life. Thirst quenched by the bites and injuries he marred upon his own thing.
Because what else could be love?
If not the blood between his teeth and Cyno's skin.
"You will breathe for me Cyno," Tighnari kissed him, saliva strung between their lips.
"You will hurt for me," Tighnari grappled the forearm he bit earlier, reawakening the pain and Cyno grimaced. Tighnari descended his hand to squeeze Cyno's dripping cock as he possessively reminded, "you will only take pleasure from me."
You will live for me.
Or else, I'll die too.
Cyno nodded and kissed Tighnari, melding their bodies together as they drown in this intoxicating, infuriating love. If Cyno was shattering in his tightened grip, then Tighnari would put him back together with each kiss and thrust.
(This was how they love: with blood and teeth like animals.)
Tighnari doesn't regret the day he joined the Temple of Silence to be with Cyno, he loves every piece of his Cyno. Each jagged part or whole, it doesn't matter, Tighnari is here to take care of him with bleeding hands.
Tighnari doesn't regret it because if he starts to, he might break like a broken glass too.