Chapter Text
Somehow Luigi drifted off to sleep, but even then there was no relief. He dreamt the Shy Guys were attacking him, only Mario wasn't there to protect him. Luigi tried to run away and stepped in a lava flow, but instead of burning his feet, the lava hardened around them.
“Mario!” he yelled.
“Luigi!” His brother's voice sounded distant.
“Mario?” Luigi looked around, but he didn't see his brother. In fact, he couldn't see much of anything anymore.
Suddenly he felt Mario's hand on his arm, and he was lying on his back. His heart pumped with adrenaline as he opened his eyes.
“It's okay, Lu, it was just a nightmare.”
Luigi sat up and viewed the bars surrounding him. His mouth felt as dry as paper and his head pounded like he'd drunk too much wine before bed.
“The nightmare will never end!”
At first Luigi was surprised to hear the child's voice, until he remembered the little blue guy, Lumalee.
“Will you be quiet!” roared the penguin king.
Luigi glanced at Mario. “So this wasn't part of the dream?” he asked, waving his hand at all the cages.
“'Fraid not, Lu.”
“It is good that you two are awake,” said the penguin king, curling his flipper around one of the bars of his cage. “The guards will arrive in a few minutes with water. We must prepare to escape.”
Luigi's mind became more alert as he thought about what it would really mean to break free from the lava pit. Would the penguin king get the guards to raise the cages back up to the fortress level? He didn't think he could climb that high.
“Here they come!” said Sheldon, holding out his palm. “Everybody act normal.”
“Did you hear that, Lumalee?” asked the penguin king with a glare.
“Affirmative,” replied the Luma. “But I don't care.”
At that moment, some of the penguins gazed up, and Luigi peered in the same direction and watched the Koopa guards flying in their strange clown cars. Luigi studied the ceiling and walls to find out where they had come in, so he would know where he had to go. He spotted openings in the ceiling where the chains came through and watched a few Koopas come down through them. Somehow the prisoners would have to get up there.
One of the guards descended toward the penguin king. “Here's your water,” said the Koopa, holding out a small cup. “Don't drink it all at once – it's all you're getting for the next six hours.”
Instead of reaching for the cup, the penguin king eyed the guard. “Tell me, do you enjoy your job?”
“Why do you ask?” The Koopa leaned back.
The penguin king glanced at Sheldon, who nodded encouragingly.
“Because I can offer you a better position. You could be my chief advisor, and you'd have up to half my treasury. All you have to do is come with me to the Snow Kingdom.”
“Up to half your treasury?” repeated the guard, his mouth falling open in shock.
The penguin king nodded. “Most kings say this as a hyperbole, but I am being literal. I have gold coins and rare Power-ups hidden beneath the ice, where Bowser's flames could not reach. If you free me and the other prisoners, I will take you there and let you choose whatever you desire.”
“Are you bribing me?” asked the Koopa in disbelief, his eyes wide.
“You could say that. Do you accept my offer?” The penguin king extended his flipper through the bars toward the guard.
The Koopa slapped his flipper, scowling. “How dare you! I would never betray Lord Bowser!” The guard held the cup of water over his head.
“Hey, what's going on here?” asked another Koopa, flying toward them.
“He tried to bribe me!” The first guard pointed at the penguin king. “But I would never accept a bribe from an enemy of the Darklands! I'd rather get a small promotion in Bowser's army than be the leader of yours! I'm going straight to the general to tell him what you tried to do.”
The penguin king glared defiantly at the guard as he began to ascend in his vehicle, the second guard swiftly following him. Most of the others had already vacated the dungeon.
“Wait!” blurted Luigi, lurching forward and grabbing the metal bars. “We didn't get our water!” He glanced at Mario, who nodded.
The first guard halted and glowered at Luigi with pure loathing. “Ooohhh, you want water?” He flew back down toward Mario and Luigi's cage. “Here's your water!” The Koopa splashed water all over Luigi, some of it getting on Mario as well. The liquid felt blissfully cool, but Luigi would have much preferred to drink it.
Mario placed his hand on Luigi's shoulder and glared at the guards as they zoomed up to the ceiling.
“That didn't go as planned,” said the penguin king, “but do not lose hope.” He straightened his crown. “Perhaps I can reason with the general.”
Luigi wondered if the penguin had lost his mind, and judging from the stunned silence in the prison, Luigi wasn't the only one.
“The madness ever increases with each vain repetition,” said Lumalee, floating horizontally with his stubby arms behind him.
“How?” asked Sven. “If you can't convince a low-level guard, what makes you think you have a chance with Bowser's left-hand Koopa?”
“He's got a point,” Sheldon spoke up. He ran his hand over his face and sighed before continuing, “I was wrong about the guards, but I know the general. He always obeys Bowser, and once he makes up his mind to do something, he'll see it through to the end, no matter the cost. Treasure means nothing to him.”
“So that's it,” said Luigi, slumping against the bars. “There's nothing we can do.” The air was so hot and dry that it was already licking away the moisture from his skin and clothes. He looked at his brother, expecting him to say something positive like usual, but instead he appeared as downcast as Luigi felt, looking at the lava below.
“I'm sorry Lu. I don't know how we're gonna get out of this one.” He let out a weighty exhale, combing his fingers through his hair. “If only we still had our tools, we could take this cage apart!”
Something about seeing his brother upset made Luigi calmer. “We can't give up. Like you said, we owe it to our family to keep trying. Maybe I have something we can use.” He felt in his pockets and extracted the blue mushroom. A collective gasp reverberated around the stone dungeon.
“What?” asked Luigi, wrinkling his brow.
“You had a Blue Mushroom the whole time!?” squealed Sven, appearing almost angry with his narrowed eyes.
Mario shook his head. “Told you it was poisonous.”
“That mushroom is not poisonous, my friend,” said the penguin king.
“That's a Mini Mushroom!” said Sheldon, standing up straight and staring wide-eyed at the fungus.
Luigi eyed the mushroom critically. “How big do mushrooms get here?”
“Pretty big actually, but it's called a Mini Mushroom because it makes you shrink,” explained Sheldon.
Luigi and Mario stared at each other for a second.
“You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?” asked Mario as he began to smile.
“We use the mushroom to shrink down and fit through the bars and escape!”
“Exactly!” said the penguin king, his eyes shining. “Your best chance is to climb straight up through the ceiling and sneak through the hallway. Do it soon before the general arrives.”
“If we get to one of the clown cars, can we fly them?” asked Mario.
“So you paid attention,” said Sheldon with an approving nod. “Yes, they're easy to use, and you don't need anything special to start them. Just push the red button, pull the steering wheel down to go up and up to go down.” Sheldon waved his hand. “I'm sure you'll figure it out.”
“What about you guys?” Luigi stared at the penguin king, Sven, and Sheldon before turning to his brother. “Mario, we can't leave them here.”
“Of course we can't,” agreed Mario. “What do we have to do to open the cages?” He glanced up at Sheldon.
“It's too risky!” said Sheldon, shaking his head. “Just save yourselves. Don't worry about us.”
“Speak for yourself!” yelled Sven.
“Look, I'm sorry, but unless they have more Power-ups, they'll never make it past the Thwomps and fire bars. Their best chance is to fly straight up from the fortress.” Sheldon smiled ruefully. “It was always a long shot to free all of us anyway. We would've had to get a lot of guards to turn, and I've already been trying to do that for a long time.”
“Don't worry, we'll figure something out,” Mario said firmly.
“Yeah, we won't leave you hanging,” agreed Luigi. Instinctively, he broke the mushroom in half and handed a piece to his brother, who scrunched his face.
“The penguin king said it's safe,” said Luigi. “Here, I'll show you.” He shoved it in his mouth and tasted the strong, earthy flavor. For a second, nothing seemed to happen. Then suddenly he began to glow, and his head was too small for his body, or maybe his body was too big for his head. Before he had time to process his surreal state, his arms shrank, followed by his torso, and finally his legs and feet. Gasping, he looked up at Mario, who seemed as tall as their family's apartment building.
“Woah!” Mario grinned. “It worked!”
Luigi jogged toward the bars and saw that there was more than enough space for him to pass through. He gazed up at the cage ceiling.
“Give me a hand,” he said, his voice squeaking like he had inhaled helium.
“I got you, little brother,” said Mario as he held his hand in front of Luigi like the shovel of a front loader.
“You're hilarious, you know that?” Luigi clambered onto Mario's hand and crouched down as his brother lifted him through the bars and onto the curved metal roof.
Luigi's steel-toed shoes hit the roof with a tiny clink, and he scrambled away from the edge. The top was the shape of a shallow dome that obviously wasn't designed to be stood upon, but Luigi would have to make the best of it.
“Grab onto the roof when you eat the mushroom,” suggested Luigi. “That'll save you the climb.”
“Good idea,” said Mario as his fingers gripped the metal edge. Luigi held onto his brother's index finger with both hands, ready to catch him if he slipped. Then he waited a few seconds for something to happen.
“Mario? What's wrong?”
“Nothing.” His brother paused. “Except I have to eat a mushroom.”
“Mario! Come on, I can't go back to Brooklyn without you! What am I gonna tell Ma? 'Sorry but your precious boy is trapped forever in a fiery prison because he refused to eat his vegetables!'”
“Mushrooms aren't vegetables! They're fungi pretending to be vegetables!”
“Just try it, what's it gonna hurt?”
“I see what you did there,” Mario said drily.
“Mario, you would do well to listen to your brother,” said the penguin king with a stern frown.
“Yeah, the general will be here any minute!” Sheldon clenched his fists.
“Why bother?” piped up Lumalee. “All are destined to die.” He flopped onto the floor.
But the other prisoners began to chant, “Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!” until they made so much noise that Luigi was afraid that the Koopa general would hear them.
Mario's tree trunk fingers tensed for a moment, and then they glimmered and shrank, and Luigi quickly repositioned his hands around his brother's hand and hauled a miniaturized Mario up next to him.
“Well, it was nice while it lasted,” commented Mario.
“What?” asked Luigi.
“I finally got to be taller than you.”
Luigi smiled and lightly punched his brother's arm. Together they scurried toward the chain that stretched up from the center of the dome to the ceiling that seemed impossibly high – he might as well try to climb onto a cloud.
“You first,” Mario clapped Luigi's shoulder. “I'll go up after you so I can catch you in case you fall.”
Luigi gulped. “Why did you have to put that in my head?”
Mario raised his eyebrows. “You mean it wasn't already in there?”
“It was, but I was trying not to think about it. And what about you? Who's gonna catch you if you fall?”
“Don't worry, I won't fall,” said Mario, waving his hand.
Luigi crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at his brother.
“Okay, there's a slight chance I could fall,” admitted Mario, pinching his thumb and finger together, “but one of us has to go first, so it might as well be you.”
Although Luigi was still worried for Mario's safety, he knew better than to argue with his brother about this subject.
“Okie-dokie.” Luigi stepped up to the smaller dome in the center of the roof and rubbed his palms together, psyching himself up before grabbing the chain. Each link was almost his height.
“Here goes.” Luigi didn't say much after that, focusing instead on finding the next handholds and footholds. He reached for the next link, not permitting himself to look down. He just had to keep hauling himself up link after link until he reached the top. Before long he realized that the pounding in his head had subsided, and his strength had returned and was holding steady despite the dry heat. Maybe it was simply adrenaline, or maybe something in the mushroom had given his body exactly what it needed. It gave a whole new meaning to the word microdosing.
Luigi grinned at his private joke and soon he noticed that they must have been more than halfway to the top. Then he saw flashes of blue and green descending from the ceiling. Three of them were the guards from earlier, and with them was a Koopa with wings and a blue, spiked shell, wearing a matching helmet with three spikes. Was this the general everyone kept talking about?
“Where is your wizard friend?” boomed the penguin king.
The four Koopas flew down to the penguin's cage, and Luigi made the mistake of staring at him.
He was so far below him, and the lava bubbled and simmered, waiting for Luigi if he fell. His hands had a vice grip on the chain as terror overtook him.
“Move, Lu,” hissed Mario. “The guards'll notice we're not in our cage any second now.”
“I – I can't,” whispered Luigi. His hands and feet might as well have been welded to the chain. If the guards caught him, at least he wouldn't fall to his death.
“Yes you can! You already made it this far. Just a few more feet and we'll be outta here!”
Luigi gazed back up at the ceiling. It was definitely more than a few feet away. But compared to the distance they'd already climbed, it really wasn't that far.
He drew in a deep, calming breath and let it out. “You're right. I can do this. I have to do this.” Stretching his arm higher on the link, he pulled himself up. He hadn't been paying attention to what the Koopa general and the penguin king had been saying, since he was concentrating on staying above the lava and talking with his brother.
But then suddenly he heard the Koopa general say in a loud, gritty voice, “Hey! That cage is empty!”
“Hurry, Lu!” whispered Mario. “They're looking for us now.”
Luigi didn't need to be told twice. Spurred by adrenaline, he climbed faster than he'd thought possible, but he didn't know if it would be quick enough.
“You let one of the prisoners escape! Who's missing?”
Luigi was nearly through the opening – just a few more links and he'd be in the clear.
“It's the humans!” said one of the guards. “They're gone!”
Luigi breathed a sigh of relief as he finally ascended above the opening. He hoped the gloom of the hallway concealed him and his brother.
“They have gone on,” echoed Lumalee.
“You mean they're dead?” asked the general.
“Yes, they did not survive,” the penguin king said in a matter-of-fact tone. “We are all very sad.”
“Very sad,” agreed Lumalee. He might have been helping them, but Luigi suspected Lumalee merely enjoyed declaring how sad everything was.
By this point, Luigi touched the pulley that lowered the chain from the ceiling.
“Climb over the floor and we'll drop down,” said Mario.
“Won't we get hurt?” asked Luigi, gazing nervously at the stone floor.
“'Course not. It's only ten feet or so, and we're small. We'll land even lighter than we would if we were normal size.”
“Oh yeah, that makes sense.” But making sense didn't slow Luigi's heartrate.
The air felt cooler as the brothers shimmied along the chain that ran parallel to the ceiling.
“Here we go!” said Mario – not too loudly, because there was still an open hole between them and the Koopas. He let go of the chain and dropped down to the floor, landing in a crouch. He straightened and waved up at Luigi. Feeling like he had when he'd leapt into the sewer after his brother, he took a deep breath to steel himself and let his fingers slip from the chain.
Then the floor rushed up to meet him and his feet hit the stone. He staggered only slightly before regaining his balance. Mario waited long enough to make sure Luigi was all right before turning to sprint down the hallway. Luigi fell in step behind him, at ease with the familiarity of following his older brother. He had been following him since they were born and he expected to keep following him his entire life, much to their dad's frustration.
Luigi's nerves jangled as he heard a loud beeping. The guards must have set off an alarm to alert the other Koopas of a prison breach. Mario picked up his pace until he came to the intersection between their hallway and the main corridor that led out to the large lava lake in the center of the fortress. He crept up against the wall and peeked around the corner. When Luigi caught up to him, Mario whispered, “There are two guards between us and the exit. We can try to sneak past them, or I can distract them and you can run out to the clown cars and come back for me.”
“I don't want us to get separated,” said Luigi, shaking his head.
Mario nodded. “Then we sneak past them together.” He peeked around the corner one more time before waving Luigi forward. They rounded the corner and hugged the wall, attempting to appear as tiny as possible as they approached the two guards. The Koopas loomed between the brothers and the opening to the lava lake, and they surveyed the hall with keen eyes. Suddenly one of them stared straight at the two humans.
“What's that?” asked the Koopa, narrowing his eyes.
“Run for it!” Mario broke away from the wall and sprinted toward the opening. One of the guards reached down and grabbed Mario in his fist.
“Mario!” yelled Luigi.
“Go! Save yourself!” shouted Mario.
But Luigi just couldn't leave his brother. Luigi and his brother had taken karate lessons when they were children, and although it had been fifteen years since his last class, his training came back to him in that moment. He dashed toward the Koopa's foot and sprang into the air, aiming at the exposed ankle above the Koopa's shoe.
“Yaaaah!” Using the momentum from the leap, he karate-chopped the Koopa's ankle. In response, the Koopa kicked Luigi.
“Lu!” yelled Mario as Luigi flew across the hallway and slammed into the stone wall.
As Luigi smashed into the wall, he grew to his normal size, which happened much more quickly than when he had shrunk. Luigi stood up, getting his barings, and he glared down at the two guards, for he was taller than they were. Their eyes widened in surprise.
“You just made a big mistake!” Luigi kicked the nearest Koopa with his steel-toed shoe, and the Koopa's head and limbs disappeared into his shell. As the Koopa's hand retracted, he dropped Mario onto the floor. Luigi scooped him up in one hand and punted the Koopa shell into the other guard.
This caused the second guard to collapse into his shell, and the two bounced off each other and ricocheted against the walls.
“That was amazing!” squeaked Mario. But Luigi didn't have time to feel proud of himself. He darted through the opening toward the shore of the lava pool. Koopas flew back and forth over the lava, as the brothers had seen before. Several of them sighted Luigi and pointed. Luigi sprinted to the nearest clown car and climbed into the seat, trying to ignore the pain in his knees. He pressed the start button and pulled down on the lever, as Sheldon had instructed. The clown car lifted into the air, and Luigi eyed the dark clouds. All he had to do was fly into the open sky. He aimed for a clear patch farthest from any Koopas and accelerated. He didn't care which direction he went. His only thought was escaping from the fortress. The Koopas zoomed after him. In the back of his head, he regretted not helping the other prisoners, but what else could he do? If he and Mario were recaptured, it wouldn't do anyone any good.
Mario climbed up Luigi's arm onto his shoulder and looked behind them. “They're gaining on us!” squealed Mario. “Can't this thing go any faster?”
“I don't know.” Luigi glanced down at the controls and saw a green button shaped like a rocket. “Hang on.”
Mario pressed his hand to Luigi's neck as Luigi pushed the rocket button. The clown car accelerated again, faster than it had previously. The wind resistance made his eyes water and his lips and mustache flare. Yet somehow his hat stayed on his head. He placed his hand behind his brother to make sure he didn't fall off his shoulder. Luigi peeked backward and saw that he had increased the distance between his car and the Koopas, but they were holding a steady pace as they made a beeline for him. Luigi didn't know how long they could keep going this way.
“I'm gonna try to lose them,” said Luigi, squinting up at the overcast sky. He sped directly upward and a moment later he was enveloped in dense water droplets. After being trapped inside a volcano for so long, the cool cloud felt refreshing.
Mario caught his eye and gave him a thumbs up, having the good sense not to say anything out loud when they were hiding. The clown car's motor made a soft, constant noise, but Luigi hoped the wind masked it. Behind him, Luigi glimpsed lights from the Koopas' clown cars as they entered the cloud to search for him and his brother. Luigi peeled away at a 45-degree angle, and gradually the searchlights faded from view.
After what seemed like a few minutes, the cloud thinned, and then the sun shone through. Both brothers gasped and squinted in the sunlight. They'd been in the Darklands so long that the sun was a shock, but a welcome one. As Luigi's eyes began to adjust to the light, he peered down and saw a shimmering blue sea dotted with small islands. A lush green landmass sprawled across the horizon. Fluffy white clouds drifted in the distance, and among them floated rocky islands, like Bowser's Fortress, but much less ominous.
“Woah,” said the brothers in unison. Luigi thought about the penguin king saying that other parts of this world were not as bad as the Darklands. Then he heard a voice from somewhere far behind him, full of fury and malice.
“You can't escape me! Blue shell!”
“Blue shell?” Luigi glanced at Mario, crinkling his brow. “What does that mean?”
As if in answer, a blue streak shot out of the gray cloud bank and zoomed straight toward them. It had to be the Koopa general, but he'd drawn his head and limbs inside his spiky blue shell. His wings flapped in a quick, steady beat.
“Looks like you got your answer!” said Mario.
Luigi pressed the green rocket button again, but there was no change to the clown car's acceleration. A second later, the general reached them and began to circle rapidly around them, a few feet above Luigi's head. In a panic, Luigi pressed the rocket button over and over in quick succession. A quiet beep sounded above his head.
“Can't this thing go any fast–”
BOOM!
The blue shell dived straight down – and then Luigi knew nothing.