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This Barbie is Expecting!

Summary:

Sometime after the movie, Midge begins to feel sick and desperately seeks a job among the girly Barbies, suddenly unsatisfied with being the only Barbie doll without a job outside of pregnancy. But is this what she really wants, or is her Owner filling her with pesky human thoughts?

.....Obviously it's the latter, but we've got to build up suspense somehow, right? Let's join pregnant Midge on her journey, alongside me, the Narrator!

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Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Despite everything that happened in Barbieland, at the end of the day, everything was back to normal. Yes, that is a boring way to begin a story, but how else is one meant to start something set in a world where everything is perfectly perfect? Alright, let me start over then. It was a Friday afternoon and Midge Sherwood was looking at herself in the mirror and feeling sad and nauseous.

Not the type of sad where you think about death, not the type where you realize you're growing old and the whole world is collapsing on you, the sort of quiet discontent that you get when you feel lonely and don't know what to do. The nausea was just a bonus. The kids were asleep, Alan was busy with his new job being a secretary in the Pink House, so Midge was home alone and had time to think. She ran her hands over her stomach and held it. Any week now, she'd be due, and give birth to who she hoped was another daughter. She already had one, Nikki, but longed for another.

Yes, Midge was pregnant, and the only doll in the whole world who had children. It was a very big deal at the time, something about how it was inappropriate for girls to learn about pregnancy and their bodies, so her line was discontinued. But she remembered. The other Barbies had no idea how to handle her and maybe that was part of the reason she was feeling sad. The others were having an intense surfing contest and Doctor Barbie said it wasn't a good idea with her large belly, so she had to stay inside. Away from the rest of her friends.

She wandered through the small house, smiling at the photos on the wall. Of her in high school, hanging out with Stereotypical Barbie, her first date with Alan, her wedding to him, where Barbie and Ken were the bridesmaid and Best Man respectively, when her first son Ryan was born, and then when Nikki was born. She had been through so much and most ostracized her over the fact. Midge was the only one who seemed to have an adult life, and no true career. She frowned.

When she was a teenager, her job was just that, being a teenager. Stereotypical Barbie's job was just being the most perfect Barbie ever, but then she left them for the Real World. Now, Midge was the only one in town without any job other than being pregnant, and it was boring.

She went into the nursery, staring at her daughter. Nikki was fast asleep and had bright hair and Midge's adorable freckles. The room was decorated in pastels. She gave her daughter a gentle kiss on the forehead, then checked on her son.

His room was all blue and filled with cars, because little boys loved race cars. Instead of being asleep, he was huddling under the blankets, which Midge frowned at.

"Something wrong, Ryan?"

"Bad dream…" He hiccupped.

"Awwww…" She sat beside him and gently patted his head. "It's okay, I'm here," She held him close, being careful of her belly.

"Scared, Mommy!"

"I know…" She rubbed his back, shushing him gently. After a few minutes, he calmed down and rubbed his eyes, merely pouting. "There. Do you feel better now?"

He nodded and tried to curl up back in bed. "Thanks, Mommy! Best Mommy ever!"

"Ryan…what if Mommy had another job? What if Mommy didn't want to be a mommy anymore?"

The whole world seemed to freeze at that, though just outside it continued on in actuality. She hated saying those words out loud, as she had no clue where they came from, but now that they were out, they were the only thought in her head.

"Mommy? Not be Mommy?" Ryan asked, and the toddler hiccupped and looked ready to cry again.

"Mommy…is just thinking." She felt an unpleasant feeling she couldn't name crawl up in her throat and gave Ryan a quick headpat and fled from the room.

It was wrong to be thinking, right? It meant she was malfunctioning, right? And if she is was…

She didn't want to finish that thought.

___

"How was work?" Midge asked nicely when Alan came home, dressed in a spiffy suit and pink tie. It certainly beat the striped shirt he normally wore. She already had dinner out and prepared, well it was easy to cook when the food was plastic and there was no heat on the stove! They were having meatloaf that night and Midge took her seat at the table, slowly 'cutting' up her meal. Alan smiled at her and sat down as well.

"Uneventful, as usual. All the paperwork came organized already so I just have to put it in the right alphabetical drawers. Some of the other Kens actually talked to me during break and that was great." He talked slowly and 'cut' his food too, lifting the fork to his mouth. Midge smiled at him. "Maybe I can start making friends."

"That's wonderful!"

"How was your day?"

"Perfect." The words were out of her mouth before she properly thought about what she said. Wait, why would she think about them? Every single day in Barbieland was perfect, never more, never less. That was the whole point. She spent her day being sad and confused though, mainly looking at her belly. She flatout admitted to Ryan she didn't want to be a mother anymore. Could she tell Alan? Could she tell anyone else? She wasn't sure she wanted to take a trip to the Real World if it came to that, she heard it was scary and she didn't want her baby to be hurt. But if she kept it a secret…and if Ryan shared on accident…

"You do anything nice?" He picked up his cup and put it at his lips.

"Um…I put the kids to bed." Midge faltered. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course!"

She looked over at their wedding picture, how beautiful she looked in her wedding dress. She then looked down at her baby bump, and her ring, and opened her mouth, and started gagging.

"Oh no!" Alan was on his feet instantly, helping Midge up and rushing her to their bathroom, kneeling her down in front of the empty, shallow toilet. She gagged and heaved a few times, nothing coming out, but the motions still seized her body and made her tremble. He played with her hair. "Are you okay?"

Midge nodded, covering her mouth. "I-I'm sick?! I can't be sick. We don't get sick!"

He held her close, still running his fingers through her hair. "What did you want to tell me?"

"That…." She paused. "I've been having thoughts lately. Not the scary and bad ones, but they're still weird. It's boring sitting here at home. I'm envious of the dolls who have jobs. I feel like I don't have anything here, I wonder if I even want to be pregnant. I even told Ryan I don't want to be a mother and want a job." It all spilled out of Midge like her non-existent vomit, leaving her breathless at the end.

"And do you think you're…malfunctioning?" Alan asked carefully. Midge shrugged.

"Maybe…I should talk to someone about this. Maybe a Doctor Barbie. She'd know." She wanted to solve this herself, preferably without leaving Barbieland. She was the determined yet quiet best friend and the doting mother. That was her job.

Right?

___

The next morning, Midge woke up and decided to wear something new for once, wanting to look nice for Doctor Barbie. Usually she just wore her purple maternity dress, but today she wore a soft pink one patterned with hearts and matching shoes, braiding some of her hair back. Perfect, just like everything.

The doctor's office was a short walk away, but Midge just had to blink and she was there, because who really imagined Barbies walking the entire length anyway? She was greeted by a Nurse Barbie, and soon Doctor Barbie came out, the familiar redhead decked out in pink diamonds, even on her head.

"Doctor Barbie!" Midge jumped up. "I need to talk to you!"

"Yes, about what?" Barbie smiled and led her to her office, laying her down on the papery bed. "Time to give birth?"

"No!" She gasped. "I just didn't know where else to turn to. I've been feeling like I should get a job."

Doctor Barbie nodded. "Well, there's plenty of people hiring! Everyone can have a job!"

"And I'm wondering if I'm wrong for wanting to be a mother. Nobody else is and I feel lonely."

Barbie nodded again. "Why do you feel this way?"

"I don't know." She just woke up one day and started worrying over her bump. Her head spun and she gagged again, sitting up in a panic. "I just don't want to leave!"

"Hey, hey, calm down." Barbie got her a pink trashcan to 'throw up' in. "What kind of job do you want?"

"I don't know that either." She gagged. "Everyone has interesting jobs and I don't have one. I'm just Midge. And my whole thing is being pregnant."

"Maybe you could ask other Barbies with odd jobs. Not everyone here is a doctor or astronaut after all!"

Maybe talking to someone whose job was a bit weirder would be in her favor. But which Barbie had a job as weird as hers? She gave the trashcan back.

"Hope you find the answer you're looking for!" Barbie waved to her, and Midge waved back, wandering through the city again. Everyone was hard at work as usual, but she didn't pay attention to that. She kept walking down the road until she reached a fork and went right, soon finding herself by the beach with huge pink castles and flowers everywhere.

"Welcome to Fantasy Avenue!" A fairy giggled at her.

What, did you think only modern Barbies lived here? Nonsense. You saw those movies too, right? Little girls were huge fans of them. They needed a place to live too.

Anyway, that wasn't what Midge cared about. She found the first castle and stepped through, her steps echoing through the halls.

"Hello!" She asked, admiring the colorful paintings on the walls.

"Hello-oh!" A princess with long flowing hair gasped at her, wearing an extremely sparkly magenta gown covered in roses. "What's wrong with your stomach?"

"I'm pregnant." Midge deadpanned, still looking around. "This place is beautiful, do you live here?"

"Yes! I'm sorry, I very rarely get guests." She took Midge's hand and led her through the halls, taking her to a small sitting room with art on the walls and a messy easel set up. "My name is Rapunzel!" She curtsied.

"Rapunzel…like the princess?"

"Mhmmm!" She beamed. She looked just like Mackenzie Mauzy, and if you think that's a reference, it is. "I spend my days in here, painting, and going to masquerade balls with the prince!" She picked up a brush covered in blue and started adding details to a bush on the wall, painting blueberries on it.

"You're an artist?" Midge asked.

"Yes! But if you're asking about my career, I'm just a princess."

"That's a job?"

"Yeah. Here in Fantasy Avenue, we are all just mermaids and princesses and fairies. That's what we do. And somehow all of us found a prince!"

Midge hurried over to the window and indeed saw several mermaids sitting in the water, laughing and braiding their hair. A princess flew by on a magical Pegasus. Another princess leapt into the air and posed gracefully, wearing a ballet dress of feathers.

"Wow." Midge took a red paintbrush and added unsure strokes to the used canvas, unable to tell what it was meant to be originally. "Maybe I could be a princess." She thought about it. "Don't you ever feel left out though? Everyone else is much more impressive."

"Why would I? Being a princess is who I am." Rapunzel asked seriously. "There's nothing wrong with it."

"How do you entertain yourself every single day though?"

"Painting, reading, singing, being with my prince, and hanging out with Queen Anneliese and Queen Consort Erika." She moved closer and dropped her voice. "Between you and me, they're the most interesting princesses here. They have a button on their backs that lets them sing! Isn't that cool?"

"Very cool." Midge smiled. Talking dolls, let alone singing ones, were very rare indeed. Most were often received with controversy. We don't talk about those. We're still recovering from that GI Joe incident.

Midge continued painting, eventually having to sit down to preserve her energy, starting a new canvas and smiling when Rapunzel came over to help her, the two dolls adding their own creative spark to it. Once it was done, Rapunzel beamed.

"It's pretty!"

She drew a fancy masquerade mask while Midge just painted a rainbow, but the fact they did it together was enough to lift her spirits somewhat.

"Yeah." She nodded. "I have to get going."

"Please, don't be a stranger!" Rapunzel curtsied and waved, and Midge tried to but her large belly got in the way, so she made do with just waving. She headed back into the city and was attracted to the sound of music blaring from the dance studio, so she went there next, finding Physicist Barbie and Ballerina Barbie dancing in their own separate corners.

Barbie was wearing her usual headband and a short dress with a matching pair of headphones, doing fast dance moves, but Midge had seen her before. She was far more interested in Ballerina Barbie(played by a blonde Lily James), who was posed by the mirror, one leg up on the barre. Midge smiled and stepped closer to her.

"Hi Barbie."

"Hi….Midge." Both of them turned to greet her, being surprised when it wasn't another Barbie.

"What are you doing here?" Barbie asked, doing another pose. She wore a pink leotard, pink tutu, pink tights and leg warmers, pink shoes, and a pink tiara.

"I want a job. A real job. Like all of you do! I don't have one. I don't want to be a mother anymore. At first I thought I could be a princess but I don't think I have the look." Midge said.

"Hmmm…well, the motto of my line is that I Can Be Anything! So I can help you!" Barbie grinned, putting both legs on the barre and standing on her hands.

"But you're pregnant! Shouldn't this wait?" Barbie asked, adjusting her headphones.

"No! I'm tired of waiting! I'm not going to hurt anyone!" She ran over to the barre and tried to mimic Barbie's moves, gasping in pain when she bent her leg back too far.

"Ouch," Barbie winced, coming over, her headphones around her neck. "Maybe it's not for you because that's not your job."

"I can't be stuck as a mother forever!" She couldn't explain it, but the thought filled her with inexplicable dread. "I-I'm a bad feminist! Women will hate me!"

"What?" Ballerina Barbie asked, standing up on her tiptoes. "Why would women hate you? Don't girls still love us?"

She felt sick again and glared at the two, realizing that they may be smart, but still clueless about a lot of things. "I have to go." Midge rushed out of the studio, ignoring them calling after her.

Of course they don't know or care, when have they ever? She was just Midge, the pregnant one, the weird one, the only non-Barbie(minus Theresa and Christie and-)the one without a job, the one who nobody bothered to properly wave to because nobody could say 'Hi Barbie!' to her. They didn't understand her struggles because they were perfectly happy and never had any reason to not be.

The last one on her list was Pop Sensation Barbie, a 'vintage' doll who performed concerts every night but struggled making sales as of late. Yes, I said she was vintage, she's wearing all blue fur and a halter top, come on!

Barbie wasn't performing at that time, rare for her, instead just practicing her dance moves on the stage, and Midge walked up the stairs to her, waving. "Hi Barbie."

"Hey….what's your name?" She spun around.

"Midge."

"Oh, you're the pregnant one!" Barbie kept dancing. She had a blue headset and would most likely be just like Britney Spears. If you know, you know. We already have one SNL star here, why not a guest star?

"Yes…I want another job. It feels weird just being the pregnant one." She placed her hands on top of her stomach.

"Hmmm..you think you can keep up with this?" She did another fast spin and shook her hips around. "It's pretty intensive."

Midge shrugged. "I just want a job."

"Then let's go! Let's do the moves to my hit song, Friends Like We Are! Ready? One two three-!" She started dancing around, and Midge attempted to follow, keeping her steps light. She spun around and gagged, falling to her knees and gagging again, then watching in horror as real vomit dribbled out of her mouth. Barbie saw and screamed, running away. Midge herself paled, staring at the mess.

She must've been malfunctioning, for real. Which meant something bad was likely to happen to her. What was she supposed to do?!

Barbie and Barbie were helpful, helping her to her feet and walking her all the way to Weird Barbie's house. Even though she also worked for the government, she kept her original house for the canceled dolls to live in, and to help other malfunctioning dolls, as it happened a lot still despite what the dolls themselves would have them believe.

"We have one!" Doctor Barbie announced, helping Midge inside. A few dolls wandered around in disinterest, and soon Weird Barbie walked in, wearing a pink suit. "It's bad, stuff came out of her mouth."

"What kind of stuff?" Weird Barbie looked her over. "Actually, I think I know. Puke, right? I'll take care of this." She ushered the two out and looked at Midge fully. "The pregnant one, right?"

"I don't know what's happened! I've been upset over not having a job and just being pregnant, then I threw up, real vomit, but I can't go to the Real World, it sounds scary!" It all rushed out of her like the real vomit she just puked several minutes ago. "I want it to be fixed."

"And that's why you're here." She pulled down her maps and did her spiel. "Yada yada, usually I wouldn't even send you to the Real World, but much like the other case, it'll likely help."

"Barbie…."

"Yours doesn't seem to be nearly as severe though, so hopefully it'll be solved in the blink of an eye. Just find your owner and everything will be fine."

Midge played with her braids nervously. She couldn't go to the Real World, she heard pregnant women were treated horribly there, and her memories of what the Kens did were still fresh. But if she was sick, and she did nothing, it would just get worse, and she wanted her life back. She wanted to be fulfilled just being pregnant and a wife again. She didn't want to feel pressured into working.

"Okay." She agreed, taking a deep breath.

___

The trip was hard on a pregnant woman, but Midge managed just fine. She wore a grey lumpy maternity dress and hid her hair under a scarf, keeping her bright pink bag close to her. Barbie said she'd know her owner when she saw her, but would she really? What person would be sick enough to make her sick? Did she want to meet this person?

As she walked, people stared, mostly women, either pitying or excited over her large belly, while the men stared hungrily or in disappointment at her, and those stares made her feel the most uncomfortable. They reminded her of her first pregnancy in Barbieland, when no doctor knew how to help and all of her friends ostracized her, convinced she was sick. Alan was of course always supportive, but she had nobody else. Whenever she walked down the street Barbies and Kens would stare in disguised contempt, confusion, and disgust, wondering how it was possible. Midge herself wondered at first too, but eventually stopped because she received no answers. It was just a miracle of life, she supposed, and went from there.

Midge tried to think about her owner, going through her memories, mostly just seeing hands. She saw a playground full of kids, the hands blowing on a whistle, comforting a crying woman, slapping another woman in an office setting, and those same hands eagerly unwrapping a Happy Family set they got off eBay, still perfectly wrapped in the box. They held the box close and held their own stomach. Finally, she saw what she needed. The hands playing with her, rubbing her belly and holding the little baby doll close. She felt a pull in the right direction, and walked off, finding herself in a tidy residential area.

"Here goes nothing." She held her belly and knocked on the door, taking deep breaths. Someone answered the door a few seconds later, a woman who looked just like Weird Barbie, very short hair, a golden pantsuit, and minimal makeup. Midge gasped beside herself.

"Who are you?" The woman asked before fully looking at her, taking in everything about her. "Okay, I know this'll sound crazy, but you look just like that pregnant Barbie doll."

"Then maybe I'm crazy too, because I am her."

___

The house was decorated in a minimalist style of browns and beiges, plants everywhere and square-shaped shelves. The woman, Marissa, was in the kitchen, but Midge just sat on the couch, wanting this to be quick. The humidity was making her clothes stick to her, her feet hurt, and she could feel more nausea in the back of her throat. She swallowed right as Marissa came back with a tray of tea.

"It's herbal ginger stuff. Smells strong but is great, I swear by it." She sat down across from her.

"Do…do you have kids? Because…" Midge let the rest of the question hang in the air, feeling ashamed for having even thought it. "No…my thoughts don't belong to a child."

"I'm a bit of a radical. Was never interested in men, even before I discovered I was a lesbian. Preferred mud and trucks and was quick with my hands and worse with my tongue. I work as a gym teacher and though I'm single, I'm happy, more time for myself." Marissa sipped her tea. "In my group, we fight for the rights of women, for women to have jobs and independence and all that. We don't really respect traditional types of women and often push them out. For years I never saw the problem with that, until a few weeks ago."

Midge waited.

"My friend, longtime friend of mine, wants to conceive. Found out she couldn't due to uterus issues, but had another option. Her boyfriend and her asked me to be the surrogate. At first, I rejected her. Sit around all day being a literal baby maker? No thanks. That's why I fight, so women wouldn't have to do that. But the more I thought about it, the worse I felt. How could I hurt my best friend like that? She did nothing wrong to me. So…I agreed. My feminist circle threw me out the instant they heard the news. I've kinda been alone ever since." She sighed and sipped more.

"So I had the urge to look up old toys. Maybe the hormones are getting to me already. There's some pregnant dolls I remembered. I found this one, Happy Family Midge on eBay, not even opened, for pretty cheap, I bought her without thinking. At first she just sat there on the shelf but for the past few days I've been…playing with her…"

Midge gasped. "So you're in my head!"

"Do I even want to do this? Is it too late to back out? Did I make the right decision? Am I still a feminist? Am I still myself? What job can I take while I'm like this? Why did I do this? Am I worthless for just being a mother?"

"It was all you…"

"I'm already getting sick, morning sickness, except mine comes in the afternoon, it's a nutty name."

Midge bit her lip. "I threw up…"

"Yeah, if that was me somehow, sorry about that. It sucks, doesn't it?"

Midge was silent for a while, mulling over her experiences. "I think…you're still yourself. I don't know much about feminism, but I think it's ridiculous those women kicked you out for daring to be pregnant! You're still helping women! You're helping a woman right now!" She took Marissa's hands. "I traveled a lot in Barbieland before I came here and I realized something. Everyone has a part to play. At first I was sad because I didn't have a 'real' job, but after meeting a literal princess, I realized my job is housewife and pregnant woman. And…..I don't mind it. You made my thoughts all screwy, but I don't actually care. I love my husband and kids, and I'll love this new kid too, and you'll love this kid, you're doing a good thing, supporting another woman in her moment of weakness."

Marissa smiled. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I always hated Barbie, felt she wasn't unique, don't know why I bought you, but I'm glad I did. You're right. This doesn't make me any less of a feminist, just like that princess Barbie. You know, my sister had that singing Erika doll. Drove me up the wall with how the batteries never seemed to die."

Midge laughed at that, a long hard laugh that started in her belly and brought up out of her mouth. She covered her mouth, nearly falling over.

"Okay, it's not that funny."

"I'm…glad I got to meet you. Even if you made me very confused." Midge admitted.

"Same. My friend is a member of another feminist circle. I think I'll join hers instead." She led Midge to the door. "A pregnant Barbie is still weird though. I mean, how did that even happen?"

"We don't know either."

"And are you a teenager?"

"Nope! Alan and I married back in 1991…we had dolls…our wedding was beautiful. I actually didn't have Ryan, my first boy, until 2000." She responded wistfully, thinking back on that. How Barbie and Ken cheered when they kissed and Alan couldn't control his tears when he lifted her veil, overcome with how beautiful she was. How gentle he was during her first pregnancy, always giving her massages even though there was no actual pain, being a doll.

"Huh. They canceled you because of teen pregnancy I think. And thinking you were some unwed child." Marissa crossed her arms.

Midge showed off her wedding ring.

"You're not at all what I expected."

"Same to you."

The two waved and Midge was back on her way again.

___

The first thing she did upon arrival was thank Weird Barbie for her help, making it quick because the other dolls were in the shadows and their stares made her nervous. When she tried to leave, a black girl with braids in all purple walked up to her and gave her a big grin.

"Thanks for that. Sometimes it's what a girl needs to hear."

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Teen Talk Barbie Ethnic. Everyone said I was setting women back because I said math class is hard. But it is! What's wrong with it? Women aren't stupid, but not all of us are rocket scientists." She huffed.

Midge nodded. "Yeah, most women are just regular people. Like housewives. I needed to help her realize that."

"Wanna help with my homework?"

"Maybe…later…" She felt like she was being watched, there was the shine of a video camera in the shadows, so she just waved, wanting to get out of that house. She held her stomach and headed home, feeling lighter. Even her weird nausea was completely gone.

___

When her second daughter was born(and don't you worry, childbirth is very simple for Barbies, they just took her stomach out and removed the baby with no pain or fuss), Midge already had a name in mind. Cassandra, which sounded nice to her. But she felt it could've used more.

"What do you think?" She asked Alan as she showed him the name she had in mind.

"It's perfect." He smiled at her, and she smiled back.

"Welcome to Barbieland, Cassandra Marissa Sherwood." Midge held her new daughter close to her. "I think you're really going to love it here."

Notes:

So this movie. I thought I was going to be getting a funny feminist romp, but it instead put me into a deep depression for the whole weekend because it told me what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it. I'm a feminist, but scorned by some circles for being a lipstick lesbian, wishing to be a mother, and attracted to more traditional depictions of womanhood. To me, feminism goes both ways, and I'd have loved to see a similar plot go down in the movie. Feminism isn't just encouraging women to be astronauts or cops or the President, it's also encouraging women to be mothers, nurses, teachers. It's about uplifting and empowering all women, not just specific ones. I was partially inspired by a woman in my own feminist circle who was kicked out after she got pregnant and expressed her excitement at being a mother. I left the group shortly after, disgusted. I've also been bullied for my poor math skills and my blood boils everytime some woman says Teen Talk Barbie's poor math skills encourages women to be sluts for men. That being said, ANY misogynistic comments I spot will be deleted on-sight. Can't believe I have to say this, but I'm not here to bash any woman of any belief or background or job. That's not the Barbie way.

Also I wanted a Princess Barbie cameo in the movie, didn't get one, so I'm remedying that. Who remembers those Barbie.com games where you decorated the nursery for Midge? Did you know she canonically has THREE kids? Is there just nothing else to do in Barbieland or what?