Chapter Text
Bean really insisted on washing off in their inflatable pool outside. He let out his inner duck in that bubbly concoction of water, soap, hydrogen peroxide, and tomato soup. They didn’t have tomato juice at the moment, but tomato, tomato.
Bark was busy handwashing Bean’s shoes and bandana in a blue bucket. At least the stink wasn’t as bad, so it should come off if he scrubbed enough. He dropped the clothes in the bucket to check on the duck who was about to dip his head into the pool. He hummed sternly, shaking his head.
Bean's eyes widened. “What? I wasn't gonna drink it! Just wanna see what it looks like underwater.”
Bark sighed and began to sign: ‘Do not. You'll burn your eyes. Again.’
“I appreciate some seasoning on my eyeballs. But since you INSIST . . . ” Bean settled down and started paddling around like a real life duck.
Bark rolled his eyes and went back to handwashing.
Bean couldn't wear his clothes cause they were wet, so after picking out an identical bandana and shoes from his closet (who knows why such a creature wore his shoes in the house), he sat on the couch and flicked through TV shows. Their TV wasn’t too big, but at least it wasn’t a box TV.
Bark came from the kitchen with two small potato chip bags.
“Thanks bud!” Bean said as he caught the bag thrown to him. “I feel like we get ripped off because every single time, these bags are only half full.”
“Mmmhm.”
They settled on a game show with little red devils and people frantically shouting for no whammy. This acted as background noise for Bark. He was busy ordering the desired list of items he and Bean wanted to get with their newly earned cash. Bean would briefly peak at the glowing screen of the laptop, but ultimately was focused on bullying the contestants.
Once Bark reached the payment screen, he looked at his friend expectantly.
Without glancing, Bean whipped out a debit card from behind his bandana and gave it to him: “All the money’s transferred, no need to thank me.”
Bark nodded. Lord, they could never show their faces at a bank again. So Bean claimed he “did a magic” and got all their money on a card. How? The bear never questions. All he cared about was the fact that everything in the cart was purchased and would be on its way in a few days.
After he put the laptop aside, Bean leaned into his chest as though it were second nature. Bark automatically placed a hand on his back, rubbing it tenderly.
“I hate to get all ‘grossly’ nostalgic, but remember when we were little?”
That was only two years ago, Bark thought. But he nodded.
“Yeah well I dunno. It’s funny how we’ve worked with a buncha people and we still stay the iconic air ’bnb’ duo! No matter what!”
Bark smiled softly, reminiscing on when he first met Bean. It was true—it seemed like ever since Bean stowed away on a cargo ship to North Island, the two were inseparable. He still remembered how Bean stood in the cold, totally unbothered by the amount of snow stuck to his body. Like a wet soppy cat wanting to be taken in. And that’s exactly what Bark did.
“You’re like a lot more fun than the stuffy Armada, y’know I’m always gonna say that.” Bean’s tail feathers wagged slightly. The smile he gave Bark was so . . . genuine. Warm. Those bright blue eyes looked up at him with such admiration, as if to say “thank you.”
He hummed appreciatively and nuzzled the top of Bean’s head with his nose.
Bean laughed. “Hey!”
‘You’re a lot more of a hassle than my wrestling competitions,’ Bark signed, getting a pout from him, ‘but you’re also fun-sized.’
“Triple fun-sized, you mean. Extra sprinkles?”
‘Yup.’
Evening eventually fell on them. After eating 10 days old pizza, Bark decided to hit the hay early. Typically, he slept in a deep freezer, as the cold helps him sleep. Bean is the exact opposite and he requires a pillow nest (not a common theme among Hooligan fanfics).
“Sleepin’ already?”
The couch rose back up as Bark stood slowly and stretched out his back. “Mhm.” He signed: ‘All that walking and running around got me tired early.’
“Okay, but I’m gonna stay up ‘til the wolves howl.”
‘Sure, whatever that means. Goodnight.’ Bark headed to his room down the corridor.
“Nighty niiiight~!”
. . .
Late at night . . .
“POLICE! If anyone is in the premises, come out slowly with your hands up!”
Bean shot up from the nest he made out of couch cushions, pillows, and blankets. A bright blue light from the window was trying to burn into his eyesockets, making him squint.
“Huh? Wuzzat?”
The door from Bark’s room burst open. He shook ice out of his fur.
“That’s not the Amazon orders, right?—” Bean furrowed his brow.
“I repeat, this is the police! If anyone is in the premises, come out slowly with your hands up!”
“Oooh, nevermind,” he whispered, yelping as Bark yanked him up and onto his shoulder, putting a gloved hand on his side to steady him.
“Shh.” Bark glanced to the window, which was flashing with red and blue light in intervals.
“You’re the one who picked me up so suddenly!”
Bark acknowledged this with a huff and a squeeze of his eyelids. Think, think. Did Jewel call them in…? Was it a really horrible idea exposing themselves just to stop a few fellow criminals? He took a deep breath; running from the police shouldn’t be anything new. But to have them surround their shelter like this was anything but old.
Finally, Bark set Bean down and stared at him hard, silently telling him to listen up. Or . . . see up. Whatever.
‘I step out first. You stay inside, hide next to the doorway until I give you the signal to make a smokescreen. I’ll stomp really hard once. Okay?’
“Got it, barkieboo.” Bean smirked, which usually meant he was about to wreak havoc, no matter how minor it was.
Bark gave him a thumbs up. He walked up to the door, the floorboards creaking got louder the closer he got. He glanced at Bean; he had hid next to the door as though he were a wall himself. After they exchanged nods, Bark opened the door slowly. As he did, the light from the police cars’ headlights flooded the floors, furniture, and walls.
Outside were three police cars stationed next to one another. Four police stood with their guns pointed at the house, now directed at the burly polar bear.
“Freeze! Hands above your head,” one officer demanded.
Bark slowly raised his hands and left them wide open.
“Come closer and don’t try anything.”
He swallowed hard. His boots rocked into the cobblestone with every step, each preparing him for the signal. On his last step after the officer said “Alright, that’s enough,” he stomped.
Bean had been listening carefully for a distinctively louder version of Bark’s foot against the ground. The grip his hand had on a sizable bomb tightened once he heard the stomp.
“BANZAIIII!” The bomb flew over Bark’s head.
It landed at the officers’ feet. Instead of exploding in a fiery blast, it went “POOF!” and clouds of smoke burst from the inside.
Thankfully, Bark had closed his eyes when the bomb went off; didn’t save him from being absolutely covered in smoke from the front. The police coughed heavily.
“What the hell?!”
“It’s an escape attempt, stop him and find that green duck!”
Bark made a scramble to run back to the house, narrowly dodging a few bullets at his legs.
He slammed the door shut and yoinked up his short companion again. There was a door at the back of the cabin next to the corridor, so he went out that way and into the thick, cricket-filled woods.
“I love illegally escaping the authorities!” Bean cackled. Bark groaned.
Knowing the police would be right on their tails soon enough, Bark was trying to figure out where they should go.
“What about that dusty old shack we hid in with Fang?” Bean suggested. “Should be uhhhhhhhhh near the jungle zone if I ‘member!”
Bark's eyes widened and he hummed as he could recall the shack. It was their only other stable hideout. He made a left, cutting through the thick of the forest with Bean on his shoulder.
Bean raised an eyebrow. “I'm ten times faster than you, y'know.”
“ . . . “
“I CAN carry you if you get tired! Sheesh.”