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Part 1 of I just can't tear myself away
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2015-10-01
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though it's always pricking me

Summary:

Bellamy's mom is sick, so he drags the whole band back to his hometown for the summer. Raven isn't exactly pleased about it, but there are a few unexpected perks.

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Work Text:

It's hard to be mad at Bellamy. Well, okay, it's not generally hard to be mad at Bellamy. Raven is mad at Bellamy all the time, but it's hard to be mad at him about this specific thing, being stuck in his hometown for the summer. His mother is sick and he's worried about his little sister, and since they're just working on the new album anyway, it's not hard for the whole band to hang out in Ark and write so Bellamy can be a responsible son and brother.

"I'm still pissed at you," she hisses, and then a plant hits her in the face. "What the fuck is this?"

"Elephant Ear," says an amused voice, and Raven pushes the leaf out of her face to glare at the guy. He's smiling, but it's not the customer service smile she's used to from shop employees. He's laughing at her, albeit in a fairly subtle way. "Hi. Can I help you find anything?"

Bellamy squints at the dude. "Jaha?"

"Oh, hey, Bellamy," says the guy, with a little dorky wave. "I heard you were back in town."

"For the summer, anyway." He looks around the store. "This is what you're doing? I figured you'd be on your way to senate or something."

Jaha snorts. "It turns out every high school has someone everyone thinks is on their way to senate. College was kind of a wake-up call." He wets his lips and looks away, sobering. "Actually, I'm here for the same reason you are. Grandma is sick, someone has to take care of the store, and my dad is too busy. It's just for the summer, so far, but--we'll see how it goes."

"I'm so sorry to hear that," says Bellamy, genuine, all commiseration. Then he seems to remember her and turns. "Oh, yeah, Raven, this is Wells Jaha, we went to high school together. Wells, this is Raven. She's in my band."

Jaha probably knows, but he doesn't say anything to that effect. He just offers his hand with a friendly smile. "Nice to meet you. Sorry my plants are aggressive."

"Nice to meet you too."

"So, were you guys looking for some flowers?"

Bellamy snorts. "Nope. Raven's dodging fans."

"Hey, you followed me in here," Raven says, glaring at him. "You could have stuck around out there and talked to them."

"They just wanted to ask if we're dating," Bellamy says, suddenly very interested in some bright pink flower. "We probably shouldn't go around town together. It's just encouraging them."

"Like that'll help," Raven shoots back. Jaha is watching them with some confusion, and she gives him a smile. "Per our manager, our official comment is no comment."

"I don't see why people like imagining members of their favorite band are fucking each other," Bellamy mutters.

"Because we're totally hot."

"True," he agrees, and they high five. "So, Wells, I could get my mom some flowers. She'd probably like that."

"Sure," says Jaha, and Raven wanders around the store as the two of them hash out flower details. It's a nice little place, warm and bursting with all kinds of weird foliage, which she's broadly into. She doesn't know much about plants, but nature is cool. She's examining a display of venus flytraps when she hears, "You're sure you don't need anything?"

Jaha's smile is warm and still a little amused, and Raven isn't a fan of her reaction to it, heartbeat picking up, stupid excitement in her chest. "What?" she asks, shorter than she meant to be.

"No flowers? You don't want a plant to take care of while you're in town?"

"What am I gonna do with a plant?"

"Put it in sunlight, give it some water." He shrugs. "I couldn't have pets in my dorm, so I had plants instead. You can talk to them, if you're lonely and weird."

"Which you are?"

Jaha flashes her another smile. "Now, that would be telling." He looks at her for a minute, sizing her up, and his gaze is cannier than she would have expected. No one's looked at her like that in a long time, like they really want to know her, and she nearly turns away, but--Raven's never been one to back down.

She's not sure what he wanted, but he smiles after a moment of contemplation.

"Hold on a sec," he says, and goes off. Bellamy is watching them with interest from the counter, and Raven scowls at him, making him smirk. She's about to escalate the silent conversation with her middle finger when Jaha comes back over with a small pot. "Here," he says. "On the house."

Raven blinks at it. "You're giving me a cactus? Should I be insulted?"

"Why would you be insulted?" His voice is genuine, confused, but there's still a teasing smile lurking around his mouth. "Cacti are great. They're good plants for beginners, and they're beautiful. This one will travel well, too, so you can take it with you when you leave. You could probably take it on tour if you wanted." He grins, and it's a great grin, objectively speaking. "It's like giving a kid a goldfish to get them ready for a puppy later."

"What's the puppy in this scenario?"

"See how you like the cactus, and then we'll talk."

She bites her lip, looking down at the small plant. It's--cute. If plants can be cute. It's small and round and pale green, covered in spines that look more like gray fur. She'd pet it, if she didn't know it was so spiky. It's the most endearing cactus she's ever seen.

"I can afford to pay you, you know," she mutters.

"You can pay me if you want another one," he says. "I'm hoping you'll be back."

She doesn't know how to respond. It's been a long time since a normal guy flirted with her in a normal way, and she almost doesn't believe it's what's happening. He's giving her this soft, shy smile, and he's probably just--starstruck. This is his celebrity close encounter. Flowers for Bellamy Blake's mom, and a cactus for Raven Reyes.

"Sure," she mutters, and then turns to Bellamy. "Come on, Blake, you're my ride to the grocery store."

"Yeah, yeah." He gives Jaha a wave. "Thanks, Wells."

"No problem." He worries his lip and then adds, "Uh, you're probably not much into bars or whatever, but Clarke's here for the summer too, we're getting drinks at Mulligan's Friday night with some of the guys. If you're interested."

Bellamy pauses in a way that makes Jaha smirk, eyes darting to Raven like they're sharing a joke. "Griffin?" he asks, with a deliberate coolness that never, ever works. Bellamy's not really good at playing it cool.

"Yeah. I know it's probably kind of a pain going out in public, but like I said, you're welcome. Monty and Jasper and Harper are around too, should be a fun time. We'd be happy to see you. Jasper was trying to figure out if you'd get a Facebook invite."

"No, probably not." He rubs the back of his neck. "But thanks. I'll see if I can make it."

"Thanks for the cactus," Raven adds, a little awkward, and Jaha waves them off.

She waits until they're in the car to ask, "Are you seriously going to a bar on a Friday night to see your high-school crush?"

"Are you seriously going to keep that cactus?" he shoots back, and Raven scowls at the plant in her lap reflexively, and then feels bad. It's not the cactus's fault. It's a great cactus.

"Truce?" she offers.

"Truce."

*

"Guess who I saw today."

Clarke has to smile. Wells thinks he's crafty and shit, but he's really just so obvious. About everything.

"Bellamy Blake." He frowns, clearly disappointed she actually figured it out, and Clarke has to laugh. "Come on, it was obvious. You've been teasing me about how he's around for two weeks. Who else are you going to brag about talking to? His hot drummer?"

"I actually talked to his hot drummer too," Wells says, grudging. "I gave her a cactus."

Clarke hops up to sit on the flower shop counter. "Okay, so I'm going to need a full breakdown on this. You just--ran into Bellamy. You know he's famous now, right? This could count as stalking."

"I didn't run into him. He and his drummer came into the store trying to get away from people asking if they were out together because they're dating."

"Not realizing they were fleeing to someone who wants to know if they're dating."

"Which they definitely are not," says Wells. "You're welcome."

Clarke lies down on the counter; the store is closed, she's not going to disturb paying customers. Being home for a relaxed summer off isn't bad except that she's terrible at relaxing. It's been less than a month since she got home and she's already trying to find a part-time job. She mostly just bums around with Wells and has awkward conversations with her mother; she could use something else to do. "I really like this narrative you've developed where I've been pining for Bellamy Blake for five years. It's exciting."

"Way longer than five years. Like eight."

"Thanks for correcting me on the timeline of my own feelings. So, is his hot drummer as hot in person as she looks in pictures?"

Wells groans. "Hotter. She's unreal."

"And you were so overcome with lust you gave her a cactus?"

"This is way worse than my Bellamy Blake narrative." He pauses. "I invited him for drinks with us on Friday."

Clarke would like to say she has no reaction to this information, but it's a filthy lie.

Bellamy was--well, Bellamy was one of those guys she liked in a passive way in high school. They never spent that much time together, but he was hot, and she always liked him, and looking back on it with hindsight, it feels like they might have been on the brink of something. He feels like a maybe in her life, a path she could have gone down, and she thinks even if she wasn't reminded, fairly regularly, by TV and the internet that he is a handsome, charming, charismatic rock star, she'd still wonder about him sometimes.

With all that, she just wonders about him more, as it happens.

"So, what did he say?" she asks, and Wells whoops in triumph.

"You care," he says. "I knew it."

"I'm going to leak to the paparazzi where he'll be and make a ton of money," she says. "Is the drummer coming? Did you ask her?"

"No, I was too busy cactus-flirting."

"You sure know how to handle celebrities."

"I was cool, okay, Griffin? Smooth as silk. You would have been jealous."

"I am jealous," she admits. "You got to see Bellamy and his hot drummer. And you didn't even appreciate how hot he looked, I bet. You're so straight."

"How do you know he looked hot?"

"Call it a hunch."

"Also, his hot drummer has a name. Raven. We need to stop objectifying her. I've talked to her now. I cactus-flirted with her. She's a real person."

"Fine, you saw Bellamy and Raven. No sign of the angry bassist? Can we still objectify him?"

"No sign, and sure, until we meet him, we can objectify him." He pauses. "He didn't say he was coming, but he was interested to hear you were in town."

Clarke flushes. "Oh god, you talked to him about me?"

"I wasn't even friends with him. If I hadn't told him you were coming, it would have been creepy. I would have come off as some weird fan trying to make time with the celebrity. With you, he was totally interested. So just do me a favor and invite Raven to your wedding."

"So you can give her another cactus?"

"I already gave her a cactus," he says, dismissive. "Next up is a mint plant or something."

"As long as you have a plan." She bites her lip. "Thanks for inviting Bellamy." All romantic feelings aside, she likes Bellamy. As a person. He's fun to hang out with, and she'd like to get to see him, when he's around.

She is not going to get to make out with him. She's going to accept that right now. But--just seeing him would be fun.

"She can be his best man, I'll be your maid of honor. Guaranteed hookup there," he says firmly.

"I will get you a killer dress," Clarke agrees.

"You better."

*

Raven's second visit to the flower store is less of an accident, but only slightly less. They're renting an apartment over a little clothing store, which is their usual arrangement for long-term out-of-town gigs, but the other times they've done this, Bellamy has actually stayed with them. He has a room and a bed that he sometimes uses here, but about two-thirds of the time, he's staying at his mom's place, which means it's just Raven and Miller, and Raven and Miller are not actually good at a lot of basic life things, like grocery shopping and cleaning and getting off the couch. Bellamy is definitely the mother hen of the group, and left to their own devices, she and Miller revert to being the college students they never were, playing video games in their pajama and having beer and cold pizza for breakfast.

On Thursday, she gets sick of not seeing real vegetables and decides to venture out into town to buy herself a decent lunch. It's not too bad at first; the girl at the deli freaks out a little, she gets asked for a couple autographs and selfies, but no gossip or people taking candids of her making weird faces or anything like that.

She's walking the few blocks back to the apartment when she feels the prickle on the back of her neck, like someone is watching her. It could just be paranoia, but Miller's at the gym, and Bellamy's with his sister, and she doesn't really want to go back to the apartment and give away her location. So when she spots the door of Bellamy's friend's flower shop, it feels perfect. She'll text him, he and his sister can come pick her up, they'll hang out for a while, and if anyone was watching her, they'll be gone by then.

She's surprised by a sharp, stupid stab of disappointment when she ducks inside and it's not Jaha behind the counter, but a cute blonde girl. Which is--annoying, honestly. Raven's not looking for anything. She's especially not looking for a summer fling. Casual sex is fun, but it never seems to work out how she wants it to. And she met the stupid flower guy once. When did she decide she wanted to see him again?

"Hi," says the blonde. "Welcome. Feel free to look around, but you can't buy anything for like five minutes."

Raven frowns. "That seems like a bad business model."

"I don't actually know how the cash register works. I'm just watching the place while my friend is taking a quick break." She squints, leans in for a better look, and says, "Are you Raven Reyes?"

She considers denying it, but, well, it's a small town. Everyone knows they're around. "Yeah."

"Oh, cool! Wells said you and Bellamy were in here the other day." She offers her hand. "I'm Clarke Griffin, I went to high school with the two of them."

Raven reevaluates the girl through the lens of Bellamy's reaction to her name. It's a little surprising, honestly. She's pretty, definitely, but not Bellamy's usual type, no sharp cheekbones or haughtiness. But Raven likes her, easily, instinctually. She has a good feel to her.

"Nice to meet you," Raven says, shaking. "I just needed somewhere to hang out while I wait for Bellamy to come pick me up."

"Sure," says Clarke, with an easy smile. "Hang out as long as you want. Like I said, Wells should be back in a minute. They don't have any other employees on and I don't have much going on this summer, so I've been coming to hang out and relieve him at lunch time. And whenever else I'm bored. I might be pretty pathetic right now."

"Cool," Raven says, not sure what else to say. "Well, uh, I'll be social and shit, give me a sec." Clarke waves her hand, unconcerned, and Raven fishes her phone out and texts Bellamy: Bearing in mind that WE HAVE A TRUCE, I'm at your friend's flower shop, hanging out with this girl Clarke. I thought someone was watching me and I didn't want to go home. Come pick me up? Then she stows the phone again and goes to lean against the counter "So, do you have embarrassing stories about Bellamy in high school? Please say yes."

Clarke laughs, a warm, bright sound. "I don't know. He was never embarrassed of normal things when I knew him. Like, he lost a bet with his friend Wick and had to wear one a different novelty apron to school every day for a week and he didn't give a shit, but then I'd say he was a good brother and he'd turn bright red and forget how to form sentences. So I don't really know what to tell you. He loves his sister more than anything, but you probably knew that."

"Yeah, I knew that," Raven agrees. She looks at Clarke. "You guys were pretty close?"

Clarke shrugs. "He's a year older than I am, so we didn't hang out all the time or anything. But we both did drama stuff, and we had a few classes together. It's--you know how it is in high school, there are those people you see in school all the time, but you never actually spend any time together outside of that? That's how me and Bellamy were."

Raven's phone buzzes, and Bellamy's texted, This is me, not saying anything. Be there in fifteen. He's typing again, though, and it's just a second before he adds, Keep her around.

"So, if you're a year younger than he is, you must have just finished college, right?" she asks.

"Yeah, I graduated a couple weeks ago."

"Any plans for the future?"

"Starting grad school in the fall," she says. For the first time, she actually looks a little flustered. "I'm getting my PhD at NYU."

"Cool," says Raven, hiding a smile. Clarke probably knows the band is ordinarily stationed in New York, and Raven realizes that if Clarke is better friends with Wells than with Bellamy, he was probably asking Bellamy along for drinks for her benefit as much as his. It's cute. They're mutually crushing. "What are you studying?"

"Psychology. It's so close to being a doctor like my mom wanted, but she thinks psychology is bullshit, so--yeah. Definitely makes for a really awkward summer, she can't decide if she's proud or disappointed."

"This is why I don't come to your place for dinner, by the way," Jaha says, coming out of the back and joining Clarke behind the counter. He gives Raven a smile, and she is not going to blush. She doesn't blush. He's not even that cute. Right? She hangs out with Bellamy and Miller, and they have actually been unironically called heartthrobs in major publications. She's not blushing over a guy who gave her a cactus. "Hi, Raven, good to see you again."

"You too," she says, returning his smile as best she can. It's tighter and not as friendly, but he doesn't look too upset about it.

"How's the cactus doing?"

"How would I know? It's a cactus. It looks pretty much the same."

He laughs. "I could give you a list of tips for first-time plant owners, if you want."

"You might think he's joking, but he is not," Clarke says. "He has a big pile of them. He wrote them himself."

"Okay, well, now I've got to see this," Raven says. It's harder to tell that Jaha is blushing, dark as he is, but she's pretty sure he is. "It was your idea," she adds, unrepentant. "Don't bluff if you don't want to get called on it."

That makes him smile, to her surprise, like they're sharing a joke, and he pulls a piece of paper, clearly intended for children, out from under the desk. The three of them are leaned over the tip sheet, Clarke and Raven teasing Jaha about the illustrations he did himself, instead of getting Clarke--an actual artist, per Clarke--to do, which he takes with grace, when the bell over the door rings, and Bellamy's little sister comes in.

"Hey, Raven, Bell's parking, he'll be in in a second. He thought we could get Mom some more flowers, she liked the last bunch. Hi, Wells, hi, Clarke," she adds, an afterthought. Small town, Raven guesses. Everyone knows everyone.

"Hey, Octavia," says Jaha. "How's your mom doing?"

Octavia joins Raven at the counter and gives Jaha a shrug. "No change. The doctor says she's stable, but that doesn't mean she's going to get better."

Raven hooks her arm around Octavia's shoulder. She doesn't know Bellamy's sister that well, but she likes her. She's a smart kid, sharp and capable, tough as nails. If her mom dies, she'll probably be the band's responsibility, and they're all preparing for that in their own ways.

"I bet Jaha can help you make an awesome bouquet for her," she says.

"It's Wells, thanks," he corrects, mild. "But, yeah. Clarke, you want to watch the register some more?"

"You know literally all I'm doing is watching it, right? I cannot use your register. I can just look at it and wonder how I would get money out of it if I wanted to rob you."

"Which makes you the perfect guard. Besides, you know I don't get any customers. It's just gonna be Bellamy. You'll be fine." It is not at all subtle, and from Clarke's quick glare, Raven thinks she knows it. But Jaha--Wells--doesn't seem to care. He just turns to Raven and says, "You want to help? You seem like you've got some opinions on flowers."

"All cacti. Pointiest bouquet ever," she says, but she follows them anyway. She even mostly resists the urge to glance over at the counter when the door chimes, but she can't quite help it. Bellamy goes to lean against the counter, smiling at Clarke like she's the best thing he's ever seen. It's a new expression on Bellamy, who tends to be smooth when he flirts. Raven's used to him looking like he thinks girls are lucky to be talking to him, and this is basically the opposite of that. It's fucking adorable, and she wishes they didn't have a truce. It might be worth letting him comment on her keeping the stupid cactus and being here, just so she can point out he's totally gone for this girl.

Except that Wells is actually successfully distracting her from the potential show, just with--plants. Even if the only reason he's working here is his grandmother's health, he clearly loves the store, has almost encyclopedic knowledge of all the flowers and shrubs around the store, and it's cool. Raven's favorite people are people who care about things, get really overly invested in them. She hadn't been sure she could work with Bellamy until he got drunk and started endlessly rambling about classical history and Latin grammar. There's no better way to win her over than to love something else.

"So, if Clarke just finished college, you must have too, right?" she asks him.

"Yeah."

"Did you study botany?"

He laughs. "No, political science. My father wants me to go to law school."

"But you don't want to?"

"I don't want to yet." He glances back at Clarke, still smiling at Bellamy over the counter. "Clarke is--she likes winding her mom up. It's how they interact. But I've never been good at disappointing my dad. He wants me to do law school, politics, all that. And I'd like to make a difference, but--I don't think that's how I'll do it."

Raven snorts. "Yeah, politics would eat you alive."

Instantly, she realizes it's a weird thing to say, but he doesn't look offended. He actually looks pleased. "You think so?"

"You're too nice."

"You've met me twice," Wells says, amused.

"She's totally right," Octavia interjects. "It would crush your fragile, perfect soul."

"Thanks, Octavia. Did you pick flowers yet?"

"I don't know, is Bell done flirting with Clarke yet?" she asks, and Wells snorts.

"You're a pretty good wingman, little Blake," Ravens says, clapping on her shoulder. "But your brother deserves to squirm a little, so I vote we're done and you go make fun of him, since I can't."

"Why not?"

It's a valid question that Raven has no interest in answering, so she just says, "Bandmates never make fun of each other."

"That is some bullshit."

"Okay, yeah, but he knows too much dirt about me. He might use his powers for evil."

Octavia still doesn't look particularly convinced, but she lets it slide. "Okay, fine. Wells, you know how to operate the register, right? I'm gonna buy these." She holds up a hodgepodge of flowers. "I know it's ugly, but it's the thought that counts, right?"

"Most people prefer this kind of bouquet," says Wells. "It's got more personality. I might put together some great stuff, but your mom will like yours more, because it's from you."

"You're such a sap, Wells," Octavia says, rolling her eyes, and it's true, but--Raven still thinks he's kind of cute. It's really fucking annoying. "Ring me up."

Bellamy hooks his arm around Raven's neck as she gets to the counter, presumably to distract her from how he was definitely still flirting with Clarke. "You think you were being followed? Seriously?"

Wells raises his eyebrows, looking concerned, and she feels herself flush. She shoves Bellamy off, harder than necessary. "Nothing that bad, not a stalker or anything. Just a vibe, you know? Probably just some kid with a smart phone, but if it was a pap I didn't want them to know where the apartment was. Besides, you're like the most paranoid person I know, you don't get to make fun of me."

"I'm not making fun of you, I'm concerned. You've got good instincts. I'm hoping it's just a dumb kid and not something worse."

"It's fine, Blake. Buy your mom some flowers and leave me the hell alone." Wells still looks worried too, so Raven turns her attention to Clarke, who is clearly the most rational person in the group, aside from Octavia. "Was he always like this, or did he grow into being a mother hen?"

"Always like this. You should have seen him with the drama kids."

"Shut up, Griffin," he grumbles, and Clarke beams.

"So, we'll see you on Friday?"

He can't keep up the scowl; Raven should definitely break the truce to make fun of him. "I'll see what I can do, yeah."

*

Clarke is a little surprised when Bellamy shows up at Mulligan's on Friday, which makes no sense. He'd been friendly yesterday, happy to see her, and had seemed genuine when he said he'd try to stop by. But she'd still sort of assumed that, between his mom and his career, he was probably too busy.

It's also possible she just didn't want to get her hopes up. It had been nice, talking to him at the shop. He's always been attractive, but he grew into his looks, broader shoulders and more muscle, and he's a literal rock star. Just because he seemed to enjoy catching up with her didn't mean he actually wanted to hang out with their high-school friends.

With her.

But she really, really wanted him to. He'd been funny and charming, easy to talk to, and she hadn't even been nervous. It didn't feel like talking to a celebrity, it felt like shooting the shit with an old friend. And as much as she wanted it to happen again, she couldn't convince herself that it would.

Jasper spots him first, and Clarke catches the start of a triumphant shout of "Bel--" before Monty jumps on him to shut him up. Jasper isn't good at low profile. Monty manages a normal wave, and Bellamy kind of laughs, ducking his head in amusement. He's got his hot drummer and angry bassist with him, which means the entire band is there, not exactly low profile, but he sends the bassist over to talk to Jasper and Monty, so maybe he's just figuring they'll split up and draw attention from him.

"Told you he'd show," says Wells.

"And I bet you didn't even bring a mint plant for his drummer. How are you going to woo her now?"

"Karaoke starts at ten, so, you know."

"She's in a band, Wells," Clarke says, patting him on the shoulder. "I've heard you sing. She knows too much about music. Stick to plants."

Wells is going to respond, but Bellamy takes the stool next to Clarke before he can say anything. He's wearing a black t-shirt and jeans and his hair is artfully disheveled. He looks really, really good, in that effortless way naturally attractive people can. Clarke kind of wants to lick his neck, and she's only had one drink.

She probably shouldn't have many more.

"Hey," says Bellamy. "Nice place."

"Don't tell me you've never been here. It's like the only bar in town."

"I left before I hit drinking age," he says, shrugging. "And I don't make it back much."

Clarke considers him. She remembers Bellamy's senior year, him applying to colleges, getting accepted but never getting enough financial aid, because his dad is technically around, even if he wasn't ever involved in his son's life, and they had to factor his income into financial aid, even though he wasn't willing to help out. Bellamy had gotten into a lot of great schools, but he'd been so pissed about money and his dad and everything that he just drove off with no forwarding address, and--Clarke had worried about him, honestly.

Two years later, Dropship's first album came out, and suddenly there Bellamy Blake was everywhere, cocky and flirty, the quintessential rock star. She recognized his stage persona, the face he put on when he was flirting or trying to impress people, and it had made her ache a little. She'd hoped the real Bellamy was still around, somewhere. That he hadn't just disappeared in a haze of rock music and bitterness.

"Why don't you come back more?" she asks, curious.

"Too busy," he says, grinning. "Holidays, occasional weekends when we were touring, but--being a rock star is actually pretty time-consuming, as it turns out."

Clarke rolls her eyes. "Poor rich, famous guy," she says, patting his arm. "I feel so bad for you."

"Last time I checked, you were pretty rich too."

"Yeah, but I didn't earn it." She glances around to see that Wells has wandered off with the drummer, so at least she's not being a shitty friend ignoring him or anything. She's probably helping; he can try to continue whatever weird flirting he's doing with Raven, and she can keep feeding her stupid high-school thing for Bellamy. "You're a self-made man."

He snorts. "It's like you've read my Rolling Stone article."

"Of course I have. I forgot that was what it was called, but I read all your articles. You're our hometown hero."

He ducks his head, like he's actually surprised she keeps up with him. "Hero is a strong word. I just sing. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing."

"I knew that," she says, nudging his shoulder. "You've never known what the fuck you were doing. That's why I always had to help with the play--"

"Help," he scoffs, giving her an amused look. "Yeah, I remember how much you helped, biggest pain in my ass--"

Clarke gives his arm an impulsive hug, suddenly full of affection for--her friend. Aside from the rock star thing, aside from the crush thing, aside from everything, Bellamy is an awesome guy. She missed having him in her life.

"So, you know about me," he says, laughing and taking a long drink from his beer. "Tell me more about you. What are you up to? You just graduated, right? Stanford?"

Clarke can't help a pleased flush that he knows. Not that it's surprising, he hasn't been totally out of touch, but--well, if she's going to be keeping up with him, she's just as glad he's doing the same for her.

"Yeah, that's right. And I'm heading to NYU in the fall."

His grin is quick and bright, a surprised, delighted expression. "Yeah?"

"I hear New York is pretty cool."

"I like it, yeah. Great music scene."

"I don't know, there's this one shitty rock band, they think they're really great just because they've had a couple number one albums, a few Rolling Stones articles, nearly universal critical acclaim--"

Bellamy's laughing again. "Yeah, not those assholes. I'll take you to some good shows." He realizes what he said when she smiles at him, expectant, and he blushes. "I mean, uh--"

"That would be awesome," she says, and he smiles back at her.

*

"Okay, so, here's how it works."

Wells is clearly a little tipsy, but it just makes him seem more earnest and determined, and it's kind of adorable. And, seriously, at what point in Raven's life did adorable become what she was into? She had a guy who was supposed to take care of her, and he broke her heart. She had the cute boyfriend who said all the right things, and that didn't work. She should be over that.

"I know how to play Jenga, Wells."

"Yeah, but this is special Jenga."

"Oh, special Jenga," says Raven, charmed in spite of herself. "Yeah, you're right. I've never played special Jenga."

"It's a lot like regular Jenga, but you drink more. Which is good, because you are behind on drinking."

"Bellamy was doing his hair for like three hours."

Wells glances over to him and Clarke at the bar; Clarke's leaning in against his side, laughing, and Bellamy still looks love struck.

Maybe if Bellamy Blake can be stupid over a girl, Raven can try to get to know a cute boy. A nice boy. A boy who gave her a fucking cactus. Stranger things have happened.

"Looks like it worked," Wells remarks, and Raven turns her attention back to him.

"I saw her yesterday, he could have worn his fucking pajamas. Now, tell me about special Jenga."

"So, like regular Jenga, but when you pull a--" He frowns at the tower. "What are those called?"

"Blocks. How much have you had to drink?"

"Monty and Jasper made me do shots. We were waiting for Clarke and they convinced me it would go faster if I was drunk."

"Smart guys."

"The worst part is, they are," Wells says, shaking his head. "Monty is a legitimate genius. And he just gets smarter when he's drunk. Whereas I get--dorkier."

"I like dorky," Raven says, and plows forward with the conversation before he can respond. "Come on, tell me the rules. You pull a block, then what?"

"Okay, if it's an outer block, you can either take a drink or answer a personal question. If it's a middle block, you have to do both."

"Why do you have rules for drinking Jenga?"

"Dork," says Wells, unrepentant. "Me and Clarke came up with it when we were on vacation from college from one time." He looks at the tower of blocks. "You go first."

Raven thinks, pushes a middle block out of the bottom of the tower, and takes a long drink of her cocktail. She does need to catch up. "Shoot," she says.

"Tell me how you met Bellamy," he says.

She laughs. "I thought everyone who knew who we were knew how we met."

"I want to hear it from you."

Raven takes another drink, smiling. "Okay, so--this was like four years ago. I was about to graduate from high school, no money for college, my asshole boyfriend had just broken my heart." Wells opens his mouth like he wants to ask, but she smiles. "That can be your next question. This one's about Bellamy."

"Fine. Tell me about Bellamy."

"So he and Miller had just started the band, and they had this fucking shitty drummer," she says, grinning. "Some jerkoff named Murphy, couldn't keep a beat to save his life. And I was pissed off and drunk, so I started kind of heckling him. Like, what the fuck, dude, you're the worst drummer ever. And he finally got so pissed, he told me to come take over if I thought I could do a better job. Bellamy thought it was hilarious. I took over, he and Miller recognized I am in all ways superior to fucking Murphy, asked me to join the band on the spot." She takes his beer and drinks some of it, to protect him from himself. "Your turn."

He takes an outer piece. "Ask me something."

She clucks her tongue. "How did you meet Clarke?"

"Our parents were friends. My dad went to college with her mom. I've known her for as long as I can remember." He smiles at the table, fond. "I don't remember meeting her. I don't know who I am without Clarke."

It makes something in Raven twist, because she knows how that feels. She remembers having someone like that. "Are you--"

He grins. "Next time. It's your turn."

She takes an outer piece and takes the drink; Wells takes an outer piece and lets her ask.

"Were you ever in love with Clarke?"

"For a while," he says. It's easy, the way he says it. "Maybe part of me always will be. But--it's not like that for us. She's--" He smiles. "She's Clarke, you know?"

"I know," says Raven, mouth dry.

She takes the question next, and of course he asks about Finn. She's not exactly still brokenhearted about him all these years later, but it still feels like she's missing a part of herself, and she doesn't know how to get it back.

"He was kind of like Clarke for me, I guess. Next door neighbor. My family was pretty shitty, so--he was my family."

Wells nods. "I get that."

And it feels like he does. Wells has that kind of presence, that kind of earnestness, that makes Raven believe he really does understand all her shit.

She has another drink.

"We started dating in high school, and I thought it was forever. Stupid, I know. How many people in high school are actually forever, right? He was going off to college, and I was--" She shakes her head. "I wasn't. And then it turned out he'd been messaging this girl on Facebook he was going to school with, like--we weren't even broken up yet and he was already moving on, and even if we weren't going to date, I thought he was still my family, you know? The only family I had. And he was already leaving me." She lets out a harsh laugh. "You should have heard him when I told him about the band, that was kind of the final straw. He told me I was so smart and I could figure out college and I was throwing my future away, but you know what? I am so fucking smart, and I still love playing drums. Fuck him."

"Fuck him," Wells agrees, somber, and she can't help a real laugh.

"You suck at swearing," she says.

"I've heard." He looks at her, with his too-knowing gaze. Raven doesn't know how she feels about the way he seems to see everything about her, especially because he seems to like her anyway. "I'm sorry he did that to you. And I'm glad you've got a new family."

Her eyes find Bellamy and Miller automatically, Bellamy still laughing, looking so stupidly happy that she can't quite deal with it, Miller showing off his dart skills to a couple guys, effortlessly cool and relaxed.

"I guess I do, yeah," she says, ducking her head. "Didn't think of it like that."

"And you've got a cactus."

She laughs. "Yeah, I've got a cactus."

*

On the one hand, Clarke thinks drinks with Bellamy went pretty well. They hung out, they chatted, she teased him, he rolled his eyes, and it was--normal. It wasn't like being back in high school (thank god), but it wasn't like meeting someone new, either. It was like slotting back into a friendship she wasn't convinced she'd ever had, because they hadn't been close, not like she was close to Wells, or even like she was close to Harper and Monroe and Monty and Jasper. They'd never hung out like that before, but it was familiar.

On the other hand, she doesn't really know what to do next. They exchanged numbers, she hugged him when she left, drunk and a little sloppy, and he laughed, hugged her back, said he'd see her soon.

She can't just text Bellamy Blake, right? Maybe if he wasn't Bellamy Blake, but Monroe sent her paparazzi pictures of him and his bassist getting coffee the other day, and there might be pictures of them being dumbasses at the bar, and--he might still like talking to her, but that doesn't mean he wants to hang out. He probably has better things to do, cooler people to talk to.

"You don't get to talk," she tells Wells, when he catches her staring at her phone. "You're still cactus-flirting with his drummer. I bet you haven't texted her either."

Wells pulls out his phone and shows her a message to Raven: how's the cactus doing? She's replied with a picture of the cactus and then a bunch of question marks.

"Your move, Griffin. I'm on top of this. She's going to be back for her mint plant any day now. So text him and set up a double date or something, or you're going to lose the date a rock star race. And you had a head start."

"God, just shut up and go to the bank, okay?"

It's been three days since she saw Bellamy, and neither of them has tried to get in touch. It could mean that he was just being nice, saying he wanted to hang out with her in New York, saying he wanted to hang out now.

Or, despite being rich and famous and charming now, he could still be an incompetent nerd at heart. And, honestly, that seems a lot more likely.

You know my best friend is trying to win your drummer over with plant flirtation, right? she texts him, and then hides her phone under the notebook Wells uses to track orders and goes to clean up stray petals until she isn't nervous about the stupid message.

Of course, as soon as she hears the burst of song that means he's texted back--he's a musician, of course she set one of his songs as his ringtone--she practically trips over herself rushing back to the counter to check it.

At least there aren't any customers around to see her.

Bellamy's replied, Apparently in flower language, cacti mean endurance, which is more relevant to dating than I would have expected.

Clarke bites back on her grin. When did you learn about flower language?

Just now, internet. If you can't trust languageofflowers.com, who can you trust? The bubble pops up to indicate he's typing again, and then he asks, Wells is still a good guy, right?

The best guy.

Cool.

"You know, for someone who doesn't know how to work the register, you're in here a lot."

It's Raven, of course, looking kind of unreal hot in a gray tanktop and jean skirt. If Wells wasn't cactus flirting, she might be more into Bellamy's hot drummer than Bellamy.

Or not. Definitely not. But--she'd like to pretend she might be. Just to make herself feel better about the stupid crush.

She stows her phone under the notebook again, like Raven is going to demand to see her text-message history or something, and gives her a sunny smile. "He actually taught me how to use the register. I have absolutely nothing to do this summer, so I'm helping out. I know this is sad. I could go somewhere cool for vacation or something, but instead I'm here, trying to convince Wells to move to New York with me at the end of the summer."

Raven arches her brows, like she doesn't trust what Clarke is saying. "Yeah?"

"Apartments are expensive. I want a roommate to help with rent and shit."

She nods, trailing her fingers over the counter. "He doesn't really seem like the big-city type, though. Kind of a small-town kid."

"He's tough. He'd be fine." She grins. "Besides, he's got me."

That makes Raven laugh, bright and sharp. Everything about Raven is sharp, but Clarke doesn't quite buy it. Or, she does, but--she doesn't have to be sharp.

Wells might be right about this one.

Her phone rings again, and she turns red at Raven's smug look.

"Just a text," she says, and then adds, "Bellamy," because it's probably better if Raven knows she's got her ringtone set just for Bellamy, instead of thinking she's a weird fan who uses that song for everything.

Raven nods. "Go ahead, don't let me stop you. I'm just looking for something to go with my cactus."

"Wells should be back in a few minutes," Clarke says, pulling her phone back out. Bellamy's texted, Octavia says if I don't get out of the house soon she's going to murder me. What are you doing tonight? It's smooth, by Bellamy standards. He is, absolutely, still kind of an incompetent nerd. "He just went to the bank," she adds to Raven.

I'm officially working for Wells until five. Also, your drummer is here. What does the internet say mint means?

Virtue. Is he actually giving her mint?

I think he has a plan. She watches Raven, moving through the rows of plants, touching each leaf like it's delicate, precious. She could be good. I assume you can't go out on an actual dinner date, but my mom's not home and I can cook. She pauses and adds, That was really high school, wasn't it?

Wells comes back while she's waiting for him to respond, and she turns off her ringer in hopes of preventing any further loss of dignity. "Hey, Raven was hoping to get some advice on plants," she says, giving him a sunny smile. "I told her I just handle the money."

Raven waves, and Wells shoots Clarke this nervous, excited grin. He had a few girlfriends in college, she remembers, but it was hard for her to gauge how invested he was in them. All the relationships were fairly short, and he didn't sound that upset when he told her they had ended, and--it's a shame, really. Wells is one of those guys who should settle down.

And he should definitely move to New York with her. She's got so much ammunition for that argument now.

Her phone lights up with a new text as she watches them: Like I ever got up the guts to get a dinner date with you in high school.

So, do you want to come get me after work? she asks, and grins when he shoots back, almost instantly, Love to.

*

"I still don't know how to tell if the cactus is thriving. I googled some shit."

Wells is smiling, and it's distracting. He's wearing a white t-shirt, and he has nice arms, and a nice smile, and Raven is thinking about getting more plants, like that's a good way to deal with feelings. She should just let Clarke take care of the store while she drags him off somewhere and fucks him, except she doesn't think she'd be good with fucking him just once, and thinking about that just makes everything worse.

"What did you google?"

"Is my cactus okay," she admits, and he laughs.

"You know, you could just ask me. I can come over, take a look at it. Make sure everything's going well."

"You do house calls, huh?"

"Not as a general rule. But for rock stars, sure. Besides, you're getting more, right? I can show you where to put them. Get the right light, all that. You don't wanna misplace your plants, Raven. That's the biggest mistake newbies make."

"What do you think is gonna happen here?" she asks finally. Because that's the question, right? Does he just want the thrill of flirting with a rock star? Is he trying to wingman Clarke with Bellamy, getting close to her so they can double date? Looking for a summer fling?

Or is he, somehow, exactly what he seems, a nice guy who wants to get to know her, wants to see where it goes. It seems unreal to her, after Finn, and the string of musicians she's met since him, guys who want to fuck hard when they see each other and not talk when they don't. Raven's gotten used to not thinking about relationships, which is cynical, sure, but--all her relationships so far have gone sour. Once bitten, twice shy, or whatever.

But Wells is smiling at her, that stupid understanding look on his face, like he's not worried about the question at all. Like he has nothing to hide, but gets why she thinks he does. And she needs to stop reading into this. Stop getting her hopes up about him.

"I think we're gonna hang out," he says, easy. "If I'm lucky, I might get a couple dates. I'm not counting on being that lucky, but I'd like to be. We'll probably make fun of Clarke and Bellamy. I'll keep giving you plants as long as you let me." He looks away, touching a flower with purple flowers, something she doesn't know the name of. Something she'd like to learn about. "Clarke will probably talk me into moving to New York. She's persuasive like that. I have it on good authority that when she marries Bellamy, I get to be her maid of honor, and my dress will make my legs look killer, so I assume that's what's going to win you over."

Raven has to laugh. "You couldn't win me over sooner?" she asks.

"I don't know," he says, with this small, secret smile. "Could I?"

"Yeah," she admits. "I think you could."

*

"As rich, famous rock stars, couldn't you hire people to move stuff for us?" Clarke asks, amused.

"Yeah, but if we did that, I couldn't impress you with my awesome muscles and how great I look when I'm all sweaty," Bellamy says, throwing a grin over his shoulder.

"You're going to be too tired from lugging boxes to get it up," she tells him consoling. "What's your excuse, Raven?"

"Same. Impressing Wells with my drummer muscles and general sweatiness."

The two of them high five, and Clarke rolls her eyes. "Do your fans know you guys are actually the biggest dorks of all time?"

"Miller keeps threatening to tell them. That's his blackmail on us. And we've got nothing on him, he's actually a real person." Bellamy sighs. "It sucks. We need to trick him into falling for someone or developing a drug habit or something."

"He's been emailing Monty," Wells says, and both Bellamy and Raven turn their heads to him so fast Clarke is afraid they'll hurt themselves.

"Monty?" Bellamy asks, at the same time Raven says, "Which one's Monty? The one with the goggles or the one who's always stoned?"

"Always stoned," says Wells, and Bellamy slings his arm around Wells' neck for a half-hug.

"Your boyfriend is the best, Raven."

"I know," says Raven, smug. She rolls her eyes at Clarke, a look Clarke has come to recognize, over the last few months as I love Bellamy like a brother, but he is the most ridiculous person of all time. Which is a sentiment Clarke basically agrees with, aside from the like a brother part. "So, this is going to be a disaster, right?" Raven asks, falling into step with Clarke.

It's not going to be perfect. Bellamy's mother passed away at the end of July, so he's got Octavia to take care of, and Wells is dealing with the guilt of leaving his grandmother's store behind, even though it was failing, even though she told him to. But there's good stuff, too. They're happy, and Clarke doesn't think she's the only one who thinks it feels different. More permanent. Special.

Or maybe she's just getting soft in her non-old age. She's just graduated from college, living with her best friend, dating the boy she never managed to make it work with in high school. The world feels too-full of possibility, in the best way.

"Total disaster," she agrees, grinning at Raven and gesturing her into the apartment. "After you."

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