Chapter Text
M-One hadn't left his cell much since his miserable attempt at fighting the robot a few weeks ago. Cynthia must have realized how utterly useless he was.
The days ticked by, one by one, painfully slow. There was nothing to do, nowhere to go. He was just stuck in an endless loop of nothingness. He wasn't sure if there was going to be an end in sight.
He wasn't sure if he would have a future besides this. This forever. And ever. A thought that ate away at him. Leaving an emptiness inside his soul.
But Cynthia seemed to love M-Two. He got to leave his cell at least once a day. It was always ‘M-Two get ready for another fun day!’ or ‘M-Two I hope you are prepared for the arena!’
He wasn't even good enough to be a prisoner. She just kept him around for his blood, but even then they never took that much anymore.
He was probably completely useless to Cynthia. He wasn't even valuable to her. He really didn't matter at all.
He wished he was dead.
He should be dead.
The turtle stared up at the ceiling of his cell. Nothing mattered. He didn't matter. Not even to Cynthia.
It was past midnight and the entire building was empty. A quiet darkness flooded the world outside his cell. M-One couldn't sleep. He could not remember the last time he actually had a real restful night.
It had been so long ago and he was so very tired. Chains rattling from the other cell told him the other prisoner wasn't asleep either.
“Mikey,” M-Two called.
He didn't respond.
“Dude, get up. Come over here. I wanna talk.”
“What?” M-One barked.
“Not so loud, just come over here,” M-Two hissed, the chains clinked softly as the turtle rolled out of bed and crept over.
“What?”
“Do you wanna go for a walk?” M-Two asked slyly.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“I snagged a key off of ugly during training.”
“We still can't leave,” M-One sighed.
“I didn't say we were escaping tonight,” M-Two whispered, “just that we should take a walk around the lab.”
“Why?” What was the point of that?
“You got anything better to do?” the human asked. “Come on, it will be fun.”
“Alright fine…but if we get caught-”
“We won't! There aren't any cameras in the lab, just in the hallway. We’ll stay out of sight,” M-Two was already unlocking the collar around his neck.
M-One wasn't so sure. He lingered in his cell even as the other prisoner opened the door. He knew that this was stupid. But what other chance would he get?
He followed the human down the stairs and into the main part of the lab. Despite being all alone both of them didn't say a word and made as little noise as possible.
“Look around for something small we can easily hide,” M-Two whispered and walked to a storage cabinet. “We can still get out of here.”
But the turtle had a slightly different mission. He just had to find something sharp. Then he could finally be free.
“You're still trying to escape?” It was hopeless. Why couldn't M-Two see that?
The human looked at him like there was something wrong with him. “Of course. I don't see why you've given up. At least you have someone to live for.” he said that last sentence in a faint whisper. The words were bitter.
His brothers …he forced himself not to think about them. He told himself they moved on already. He told himself they were ok.
In a haze he moved to the back of the lab where most of the surgery equipment was. He heard the other prisoner shuffling around the large room, intent on doing something useful.
“Hey look at this!” M-Two exclaimed. “There has to be something in here!”
M-One glanced over to see a locked safe, tucked under a desk, the top was messy with lots of spare papers and big computer monitors.
“If you find me a screwdriver I can get this open,” M-Two said.
“You can pick locks?” M-One asked as he eyed the table for equipment. “Will this work?” he asked, holding up surgery needles.
“Maybe, it's worth a try.”
He wasn't sure why he was doing this. It was probably useless. But he stepped over anyway and handed over the needles as he glanced on the desk.
The papers that were on the top of the pile seemed to be case reports. Some hastily written report on vulpes and anatomy of candiea structure. The turtle didn't get too good of a look before the safe swung open.
“Yes! Oh…what? You're kidding me!” M-Two growled. The hairs on his arm stood on end.
“What?”
“Just a bunch of files…nothing we can use.”
“Files?” he crouched down. The open safe had a stack of files in it. The one in the front had M-Two on it. He grabbed it and nudged the other prisoner with it.
“What?” the human sighed. Then he saw what the turtle was holding and snatched it from him.
M-One realized he had one too, although it was much thinner. He flipped through it as the other prisoner read from his.
“Case M-Two has a much lower mutagen blood cell count than M-One. Because of this the subject has the ability to transform appearances. Mutagen is present even in a ‘human’ form. Internal structures, still the same…uh. Oh! Here, it says that Cynthia thinks the transformation is linked to my emotions?”
“Anything important?” M-One asked.
“This is important! I want to know what's wrong with me. I don't expect you to understand,” he said that last part under his breath. “Does yours say anything?”
“Not really.” it was just a file containing a summary of what he was. Just a mutant . A stupid, worthless mutant. On his file was written that he was only good for a supply of mutant blood.
“Hey Mikey. What are those?”
The turtle looked at what Casey was pointing at. Case file M-Three, M-four, M-five and M-six.
Bright red words reading Terminated was stamped on case Four. Deceased on Three and Five and Six was unmarked.
“She's already made more mutants!” M-One panicked. A pit formed in his stomach and for the first time he felt something other than apathy. Maybe it was dread or fear or pity even.
“Terminated? What does that mean?” M-Two whispered. He picked up file Four and with a shaking voice read; “Case M-Four, mutant fox. This case was made using M-Two’s blood. The mutagenic concentration was far too low, suggesting that mutagen decreases over generations.”
The human’s breath hitched. He paused before he continued. “M-Four was a horrible failure, a mix of human and fox, unable to transform like M-Two. M-Four has been terminated. Further testing on the body required.”
“I'm going to be sick,” M-One said. A darkness was sweeping over him. A deep emptiness, that was freezing him. More mutants? Already? And they were already dead.
“I guess you don't want to see the picture?”
“No! I- what about the others?”
M-two picked up case file Three, made a deep sigh then looked at Five. “Three did not survive getting vivisected on their first day and the robot got Five…no wonder they stopped using it. One day it was just gone and I started training with human soldiers.”
“At least you get to do something.”
“What?”
“Nothing, dont worry about it.”
M-Two rolled his eyes and picked up the last file. “Says that Six is ‘delayed until maturity,’ mental conditioning? And psychological testing only…what does that mean?”
“How should I know?”
“Oh shit!”
“What?”
“She's a turtle! And a little one? Mikey- Mikey shes just a little kid!” Casey cried.
“Give me that,” M-One wrestled it out of the human's hands. There was a picture of a whitish-yellow turtle, she seemed scared. “The file says she’s being kept in isolation and not in the lab.”
“Shit, isolation is down the hallway, we can't go see her without risking being seen on the cameras,” M-Two began to pace. “She’s going to have to stay put until we figure out a real escape plan.”
The turtle set down the file and glanced at the others.
Deceased.
Deceased.
Terminated.
A shiver went down his shell. How many more was she going to make? How many more had to suffer?
A second reason to find something sharp. Casey Jones wouldn't have a problem leaving on his own.
The two were silent for a long time. M-One sat down and stared at his wrists. They were heavily bandaged to stop him from picking at the scabs.
He did this. He did this just by existing. He didn't ask to be alive.
“Mikey,” M-Two called. “What's this thing?”
The turtle turned and saw it. “That's Cynthia’s milking machine.”
“Her what!?” the human spun around to stare at him.
“It's the thing that mangles my wrists.” he held up his hands. “I hate it. Have you never taken a turn on it before?”
“No, I thought they just cut you or somethin’,” M-Two stepped away from the machine.
“You're so lucky.”
“What? Lucky? Are you kidding me? You're the lucky one, you don't have to do any training or tests or anything! You just sit in your cell all day,” M-Two growled. His body was shaking and fur was starting to grow.
“You are lucky! You've never had to be milked before! You know how painful it is? Two needles are jammed in my hands for hours! Afterwards I can't even use my hands!”
The human was hunched over making deep growling sounds. “You have no idea how easy you have it!” His nails seemed sharper than before.
“At least you're useful! At least you mean something to Cynthia! I don't even matter. I'm nothing to her. My entire existence is just…nothingness!”
In an instant M-Two exploded with fur and teeth and claws. “Oh boo hoo! You feel useless. Every single day I have to do training or tests. You know how often I get cut open? I get constantly beaten up and get chemicals injected into me! You have it easy!” the wolf yelled. “I’d switch places with you if i could! You just sleep all damn day while I'm getting tortured!”
“Maybe you deserve to suffer!”
“Excuse me?” M-Two laughed.
“You know I almost killed myself right? You and your stupid friends are the reason. So don't you dare act like you're an innocent angel!”
“I never said-”
“Why did you bully me? Why? Casey, why? What did I ever do to you?”
The wolf didn't answer. He barked loudly then threw over a table. He clutched his head and made a pained cry before he clawed at the wall, leaving huge marks in the tile.
“Hey- stop! There gonna find out-”
“It's not fair!” the wolf bellowed and went on a rampage, destroying everything in his path.
Well if Cynthia was going to find out that they left their cells things were going to get really ugly and M-One didn't want to be alive for when she found out.
He looked around as the wolf mutant threw a desk across the lab. And there, in the soft glow of a computer rested a set of medical equipment next to a gurney. A scalpel was among them.
The steel was cool in his hands. He didn't even hesitate. He just wanted all of it to be over. He didn't matter to anyone.
One month. One entire long and agonizing month with Venus. Raphael loathed her and she avoided him.
They were both fine with just not talking to each other. He didn't want to talk to her and she never tried talking to him.
But Venus was able to worm her way into everyone’s else's life just fine. She and April constantly had girl nights. She trained with Leo and she sometimes helped Donnie with the robot he was building.
She was stupidly close with Splinter. It was beyond infuriating. It made his stomach twist every time he saw Splinter hug her or cook with her or do anything that he used to do with his dead son.
It was late Saturday night. It had been raining all day and the sewers were extra damp and had a smell of wet concrete to them. Everyone else had gone out for some reason. Splinter was out with Scumbbug and Raph couldn't care or remember where the others went.
Maybe with the mutanimals? Yeah, that sounded right.
He was lying in bed, a crumpled and tear stained note was in his hands. All he wanted was for Mikey to come back.
But all he had was her.
There were noises in the lair now. A door opening, light footsteps. A saddened sigh and the sound of a curtain being opened slowly. Light from the other room flooded into the room.
Raph got up to look. But it was just Venus.
“Raphael?” she mumbled as she came into the room.
“What do you want?” Raph snapped, and shoved the old letter under his pillow. He quickly rolled out of bed and stomped to her.
Venus stopped and looked at the floor. She didn't say anything else.
Not that Raph cared. She wasn't him. She could never be him.
Raph’s chest tightened and he shoved past her on his way out of the room.
“Raphael!” she called and had the gall to follow him.
“What?” he snapped and spun around.
Her expression was shocked and heartbroken. She stepped back and shrunk, staring at the floor.
What was wrong with him? Why was he so unbelievably angry? Why was he such a terrible person? Why? Why was he like this?
His blood was boiling inside his arms. It made him want to rip his own skin off.
“Venus, I'm sorry that I...I didn't…” Raph bit his own tongue. What was wrong with him?
Whatever, this was so stupid! Who cared? She wasn't him and he was gone and he wasn't going to be replaced and why was she here?
Why couldn’t…why couldn't she just be Mikey?
He glanced at her teary eyes. She wasn't him, and yet she looked so similar. It made his heart skip a beat.
Ashamed he turned and walked away from her. Out of the lair and into the sewers.
The sewers were quiet and the lights were dim. He thought he had gone far enough away. Tears pin pricked his eyes. Raph tried to let them out.
But he couldn't cry. He wanted to cry. But he couldn't, because there was something wrong with him.
He grabbed at his eyes and tried to pry the stupid tears out of his stupid face. But his breath calmed and a deep feeling of guilt washed over him.
Light footsteps moved behind him.
“What Venus?” he asked with a sigh. It was seriously hurting his voice to yell. He was tired. A raging wildfire burned out to just smoke. Embers flickered, carried by the breeze.
“Rapahel,” Venus mumbled. “I'm sorry.”
He turned to look at her. He didn't know what to say. He knew it should be sorry . But the words died in his throat.
“I know I am not Michelangelo. I want to be. I want to be who you care about. I'm sorry I’m not. I am Venus. I’m wrong.”
“No, you don't have to say that,” Raph grumbled. “ I mean you're not Mikey. You're just you. I guess there's nothing wrong with that.”
“Then why do you hate me?” she asked.
“It's not that I hate you- I just…Venus, my brother is dead or gone and- I just wish you were him. I wish we found him. But i- I don't hate you." Why was this so hard? “I'm glad that you have a home and aren't homeless…” What should I say? What do I even feel? “But I still wish you were him. I look your way and all I see is my brother's face.”
“And I'm not him,” Venus finished. “So I'm not good enough for you.”
Raph wanted to say that she was good enough and that she was alright. But he couldn't bring himself to say it.
“We can find him,” Venus whispered.
“No we can't. He's gone. Probably forever. Even if he isn't dead I don't think he's going to come back. I'm just so…so sad? I honestly don't know what to feel or think, Donnie said I'm grieving. I guess he's right but knowing I'm grieving doesnt help. I'm so angry all the time and I wish I could just be different…”
Raph turned and she was just gone. He looked to the filthy sewer ground. Why was he like this?
He wished he was someone else. Someone who isn't so sad or angry all the time. Someone who could just move on and be happy.
The pain is unbearable most days. He just wished it would stop.
A deep emptiness seeped through his bones. A blackhole in the center of his chest where his heart used to be, sucking in all the light and leaving him dead and empty.
Lightfoot steps padded closer to him. He glanced up to see Venus creeping closer. She was looking over her shoulder as she snuck out of the lair holding two old sais and her bloodstained sickle.
“We're going to find him,” she echoed as she handed over the sais. She traced the edge of the sickle with her finger. “We’ll find him.”
“We’re not going to find him…that's the thing. Venus he's just gone,” Raph sighed. He looked at his own hopeless reflection in the shine of the sais.
“Stay if you want. I'll find Michlenagelo or die trying. I'm not him. I'll never be him. Maybe if I bring him back then…I would be good enough too.”
Raph watched her silently walk off, with one glance back at the lair he followed after her.
“You really dont have too-”
“Even if I'm a waste of time?” Venus hissed. “Even if I don't know where to look? Even if im stupid?”
Raph bit his lip. What was wrong with him?
“Fine,” he mumbled.
“Fine,” Venus mumbled back.
And the two set off on a probably useless mission.
It wasn't fair! Nothing was fair! He hated this world! He missed her. He missed her so much it burned inside him and nothing would bring her back and-
Blood.
The familiar metallic reek of blood wafted to his nose.
Casey slammed down the rolling chair he had and paused. Someone was near death. The scent was strong. It was all his senses could fixate on.
He turned to the source and froze.
Michelangelo was on the floor in a pool of his own glowing green blood. It was cascading out of his arms. It was everywhere, slick and warm and spreading faster and faster by the second.
“Mikey!” Casey screamed out. He raced over and bent down. Mikey made a soft whine but he was already fading in and out of consciousness.
“Stay with me!” Jones howled. “Shit! What the hell!?”
He scooped up the turtle and did the only thing he could think of, which was to carry him into the infirmary. The second the camera caught sight of him the alarms blared and the lights flashed red but he didn't care.
He couldn't believe this was happening. It felt like a horrible nightmare.
Mikey just gave up like that? Casey didn't want him to die. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want this to happen. This wasn't supposed to happen.
He set the pale looking turtle down on a bed and used the straps to constrict the blood flow to his arms. What now? What now? What…blood!
He knew they always kept Mikey’s blood around for when Casey needed more mutagen in his system. Where was it?
His nose was overwhelmed by the smell of blood. He couldn't think with its overpowering odor.
Storage! It had to be in the storage area of the infirmary.
“Hang on, just hang on a little longer. I'll be right back,” he whispered to Michelangelo and raced off.
He came back with an iv he found and five bags of blood. He didn't have time to worry if he was doing this wrong. He just set it up and jammed a needle into his shoulder.
His friend's breathing was getting shallow. He was going to die. He was going to die. She was going to die in his arms.
He couldn't save her. He tried. He tried and failed.
“M-Two! You have a lot-”
“He's dying! Help him!” Casey yelled at the soldiers that were flooding into the infirmary.
Cynthia shoved past her guards and looked from Casey to Mikey to back to Casey. “Deal with the wolf. I'll call the doctor.”
Casey didn't fight the soldiers as they dragged him away. His focus was on Mikey. The big mean guard with the scar on the left side of his face threw Casey to the ground.
His ears pinned back and his tail tucked between his legs. He was caught. There wasn't any point in fighting or making things worse.
“I'm really going to enjoy beating you to a miserable pulp,” the guard hissed. A boot flew towards his face and the smell of blood tripled and his eyes watered from the pressure.
The wolf felt like he was still with his father. When he was little and he kept making mistakes. He was used to getting beaten. Just, close your eyes and it will be over soon.
It never lasted that long.
A cracking sound accompanied a sharp sting in his ribs and Casey gasped for air. The burn in his side increased as he was kicked again. And again. And again.
His chest hurt from the strain and his lungs were on fire and his whole body was sore all over and all he could taste and smell was blood.
The floor was cool against his body as they dragged him. Everything was fuzzy and he was fading in and out, in and out, barely able to focus on just breathing.
There was a buzzing in the air, hardly audible over the ringing in his ears. He was on his stomach and his back was being shaved.
“No, no please,” he mumbled and crawled forwards.
“We're not done yet!” the guard with the scar yelled and slammed his boot down on his tail with a painful snap.
A soldier raised a whip and the stinging agony followed after a horrible crack.
The wolf’s head throbbed when he woke up. He had no way to tell how much time passed. It was dark in this room. He reached out and felt the walls on both sides of him. His back burned when he moved.
He groaned in pain and moved slightly. There was a large smooth rock pressed against his bruised ribs. He shoved it away and twisted to his other side.
It hurt to breathe. He just had to focus on breathing. In and out. In and out. In and- the rock was back. It was wedging itself against his body.
He sniffed at it but smelt nothing except his own blood.
Casey tried to talk but the words were stuck in his dry throat. Instead he set his paw down on the smooth surface.
It didn't feel like a rock…”Six?” he coughed.
She pressed into him and the sharp stings of the whip flooded through him. He winced at the pain and shifted.
“Ow!” the tiny turtle cried and then was gone.
“Wait…I'm sorry,” Casey wheezed.
She was now at the back of the cramped room, which was not very far. Casey reached out and rested his paw on her foot.
He dragged himself closer to her now and with a lot of struggling sat up.
“Oh, you got branded huh?” he asked as he noticed her shoulder and thigh were covered in bandages. By now his eyes had adjusted. “Can I see?”
She didn't say anything but she twisted and exposed her shoulder.
“Poor thing,” Casey whispered as he saw how fresh the burns were. They must have been made within the past day or two.
She cried in pain when Casey Jones wrapped the wounds back up.
“I know it hurts. It will go away when it heals, I promise,” he sighed and grabbed her good hand. “See? I have them too.” he let her feel the place on his arm where the fur and skin had melted away in the horrible mark of M-Two.
The tiny turtle rubbed his fur and then leaned into his arm. She must be cold. He pulled her up onto his lap and held her close. Just like how he used to do with Angel.