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Chara: Yay! We’re playing Cuphead Frisk. This is gonna be, SO FUN!!!
Frisk: Yeah, Uh sure we will.
Chara: Alright let's do this!!!!!!!!!!! To the garden for a nice botanic panic.
Frisk: *Sighs* K.
Chara: Wait a second, why do you sound so unenthused?
Frisk: I don’t know, I guess I just really don’t want to fight.
Chara: It’s not like we’re going to kill any of them. Also you know we won’t actually turn in everyone's souls.
Frisk: I know. But attacking them would still go against all of my morals.
*They enter the Botanic panic*
Frisk: I’m not fighting them!
Chara: *Sighs* It’s the only way to progress Frisk.
Frisk: Then get a new player two!
*Frisk exists the game*
Sal: Wow.
Chara: Um Sal buddy excuse me for one second.
Sal: Alright.
Chara: Thank you. *Pulls out her phone and calls Kris*
Kris: What do you want?
Chara: Um I’m stuck in the Cuphead game and my player two left me.
Kris: And you need a player 2.
Chara: Yes.
Kris: Alright. I’ll be there after I finish my shift. Until then just try to see how far you get on your own.
Chara: Alright, bye.
*Kris hangs up*
Chara: Sorry about that. Let’s continue this rumble.
Sal: Sounds good to me.
*sal starts to spit volleys of dirt at Chara.*
Chara: Wow I like this. crashing into bridges feels like yesterday.
Sal: What?................How often do you crash into bridges?
Chara: More than what people would expect.
Sal: Hm, Interesting……. You’re weird.
Chara: Thanks I try.
Sal: It shows.
Chara: Anyways you're at 0 hp.
Sal: Oh darn.
*Weepy pops up*
Weepy: Oh how sad you’re all alone. It must be so terrible for you to have to be such a lone lonely loner. *starts crying*
Chara: I am not a loner! Okay! My ally is working!
Weepy: Oh how sad! Your friends don’t wanna help you.
Chara: What! No! My friends love me!!!!
Weepy: She’s in denial.
Chara: No de nyle is a river in Egypt.
Weepy: Oh.
*Weepy leaves*
*Psycarrot Pops up*
Chara: Oh hi U.S.A
Psycarrot: I have no Idea what you just said.
Chara: No one ever does.
Psycarrot: Whatever, I'm gonna crush your dream of first trying this battle.
Chara: Oh no you’re not. You can crush my dreams of no hitting this fight but you will not crush my dreams of first trying this fight.
Psycarrot: Oh yeah well what are you gonna do to prove that you’re serious.
Chara: Look you sternly in the eye and say, yeah really.
Psycarrot: Oh really.
Chara: Yeah really!
Psycarrot: Oh wow you’re serious.
???: Knock out.
Chara: Booyah!
Psycarrot: I guess you get our soul contract.
Chara: Yeah I do.
*Chara takes the soul contract*
Chara: Perfect, it’s all falling into place.
Psycarrot: Do you want us to lose our souls!?
Chara: My goals are beyond your understanding.
Psycarrot: What?!
Chara: By ima go check out what’s down here now!
*Chara approaches the boat*
Chara: Hm Ribby and Croaks in no need to hide when it’s dark outside. Just kidding, it says Ribby and Croaks in clip joint calamity. A calamity IS about to occur.
*Enters the boat*
Chara: Hey! Ribby! Croaks! I’m here to collect your soul contract!
Ribby: Really.
Chara: Yeah really.
Croaks: We ain’t givin’ up our souls without a fight!
Chara: Ok.
???: This battle’s about to get red hot . Now go!
Chara: Wait, wait, wait! Stop everything.
Ribby: Why?
Chara: This battle isn’t going to get red hot! It’s going to go round and round just like the world that’s currently revolving. But it most certainly will not get red hot!
Croaks: Who are you talking to?
Chara: I don’t know.
*One eternity later*
Chara: Okay, can you two stop like defeating me.
Ribby: Uh, no.
Chara:*Shrugs* Okay I guess if I'm gonna be stuck in this fight for a while I might as well start training to be one with the treetop trouble run’ n’ gun.
Ribby: Uh, what?
*Chara starts to bounce up and down*
Ribby: What the heck are you doing?!
Croaks: Do we actually want to know?
Ribby: I don’t know, probably not.
Chara: I just go hippity hoppity and then eventually I’ll start floating like dua lipa.
Ribby: You make no sense.
Chara: I also don’t make dollars.
Croaks: You don’t?
Chara: I’m unemployed.
Croaks: I’m not surprised.
*Chara starts to pinball all over the place*
Croaks: Is this even a battle anymore?
*After a while Chara stopped pinballing across the room and started floating, like dua lipa.*
Ribby: What.?
Chara: I’m floating.
Ribby: W-we can see that.
Chara: like dua lipa.
Croaks: Oh my gosh this is absurd.
Chara: So um……….Did I win yet?
Croaks: No you didn’t win yet!!!!!!!
Chara: So you’re saying I should try again.
Ribby: Try…. the battle again?
Chara: No, try my pinball tactic again.
Ribby: NO!!!!!
Chara: Okay, but just know I'm not- Oh hey I just had an idea.
Ribby:*Sighs* What is it?
Chara: Just a second. * Pulls out phone and calls kris*
Kris: Again, really?
Chara: Hey, Kris when you finally come over to help me out can you bring me some french fries?
Kris:...........................You’re bothering me, interrupting me in the middle of my shift for the second time, for french fries.?
Chara: Yes.
Kris:*Sighs* Too bad french fries broke.
Chara: Then get some from next door.
Kris:...................Fine…
Chara: Thank you!
*Kris hangs up*
Ribby: Really, that was your idea?
Chara: Yeah.
Ribby: So you didn’t come up with a way to win.
Chara: Oh not at all, I’m not that smart.
Ribby: Okay…….Then.
Chara: Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Croaks: Where is she going?
Ribby:*Shrugs*
Chara: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ribby: She’s still going.
Chara: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Croaks: How long do you think she can keep going?
Chara: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarge.
Ribby: Apparently that long.
*10 minutes of nonsense later.*
???: Knock out!
Ribby: You beat us, NOW GET OUT!
Chara: What if I don’t?
Croaks: Then we’ll pound you and kick you in the river!!!
Chara: Jokes on you I don’t want to stay! I’m just gonna take this soul contract and go say hi to Goopy.
*Chara casually jumps off the boat into the river and all the way to where Goopy is just chilling doing Goopy things.*
Chara: Hello! I want your soul contract.
Goopy: Wow, very upfront. But since it’s my soul you're after, I’ll have to pummel you.
Chara: Oh yeah!
Goopy: Yeah!
Chara: Well fine! I’ll just have to not suck.
Goopy: And if you get hit then you’re just having a skill issue.
Chara: What no! I don’t have skill issues!
Goopy: Oh.
Chara: I wonder how long I’ll be stuck trying to win this fight.
Goopy: Long, you’ll be here for a long time.
Chara: So like 1 minute.
Goopy: No! How is 1 minute long to you?!
Chara: I have an attention span of 5 seconds.
Goopy: There is no way your attention span is than sma-
Chara: OO that waterfall looks so cool.
Goopy: Okay, so you do have an attention span that small. Cool.
Chara: So uh what were we talking about. Oh yeah, your soul……..I need it.
Goopy: Well you’re not getting it!
Chara: Okay, then let’s fight.
Goopy: Okay!
*30 attempts to beat Goopy later.*
Chara: You know what Goopy!
Goopy: What.
Chara: I’m having an existential crisis and I don’t appreciate it.
Goopy: You are?! What for?
Chara: My 3DS won’t turn on and I don’t know what to do with myself.
Goopy: Oh wow that does sound like a problem. Here let’s see if we can fix it.
Chara: Really?!
Goopy: Yeah.
Chara: Thank you.
Goppy: It’s the least I can do, for someone who agrees with me when I say my smile is precious.
Chara: Well Your smile is precious.
Goopy: Yeah it is!
*5 Minutes later*
Chara: I think we’ve almost got it.
Goopy: My brain hurts.
*Tombstone falls on Goopy.*
Chara: Hm maybe if we take the rim off.
Goopy: I’m still confused.
Chara: Oh there we go.
*3DS turns on*
Chara: It’s on! We did it!
Goopy:.........
Chara: Goopy?
???: Knockout!
Chara: Goopy No! We went on a quest together. We were, we were friends. And now I have your soul contract. I’m so sorry. A moment of silence for you, Goopy. *1 minute* Okay moment of silence over, moving on!
*Chara walks away*
Chara: I could fight Hilda now and cry myself to sleep early, or I could explore………. I think I’m gonna explore!
*Chara goes and wanders around blindly for a few minutes.*
Chara: What’s this? * Goes to enter it* Mausoleum. Huh, I don't think I’m gonna like this place.
Feesh: Why?
Chara: Mausoleum is such a big, fancy, confusing, hard to spell word.
Feesh: ?
*Chara enters the Mausoleum.*
???: Here comes a spooky bunch. Now go.
Chara: Hey ghosties, what are you doing?
Ghost: Attacking that urn.
Chara: Why? it’s saying “help”.
Ghost: It’s saying help because we’re attacking it.
Chara: Now that I think about it, how is that urn talking? Did you guys put someone in there?
Ghost: Yeah.
Chara: If you’ve already trapped them, why do you also want to attack them?
Ghost: Because we’re spooky.
Chara: If you were spooky we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You know you should invest in some therapy.
Ghost: You think I need therapy?
Chara: Yeah, if you didn’t need therapy we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.
Ghost: Huh, well guys you heard the loud, random, acts like a 5 year old girl; let’s go invest in some therapy.
*Chalice gets freed from the urn.*
Chalice: Gee thanks for saving me. If that’s what you’d call it.
Chara: To be honest I think whatever that was is random banter.
Chalice: Banter?
Chara: Yep.
Chalice: Well uh, I got trapped in there looking for magic. As a thanks for helping me I’ll give you the super art I found.
Chara: Thanks, I like lasers .
Chalice: You make no sense.
Chara: I try.
Chalice: it shows.
Chara: I’m gonna go fight someone and take so long trying to win that I cry myself to sleep now.
Chalice: What? Are you sure YOU don’t need therapy?
Chara: Don’t worry I don’t need therapy. I’m perfectly fine.
Chalice: I don’t think you are.
Chara: That’s what you get for doing your own thinking.
*Chara leaves, heading over to the observatory.*
Chara: Alright now to just jump over the gap and hopefully not break all my bones.
Canteen: Hold it!!
Chara: What?
Canteen: If you want to attempt the threatnin zeplin level you’ll need a plane, and if you want to a plane you’ll need to look over those blueprints over there.
Chara:*Glances to the blueprints for a second* Cool blueprints.
Canteen: What you didn’t look them over! That was a glance at best!
Chara: Fine!*looks at the blueprints* Cool blueprints……………..Wait I can shrink when using the plane!
Canteen: Yeah.
Chara: Cool!
*a bridge across to the observatory appears*
Chara: A good day for a swell battle!* Runs off to the observatory.*
*Chara runs past the observatory, then realizes that she ran past it and runs back*
Chara: HILDA!!! I Challenge you to a fight!!
Hilda: Huh, why the heck do you want to fight? Who are you?
Chara: I’m Chara and I’m here for your soul contract.
Hilda: What!
*Chara gets in her plane and goes up where Hilda is chilling on a cloud.*
???:Good day for a swell battle. Now go!
Chara: I totally know how to use this plane thing.
Hilda: How do you have a plane if you don’t know how to fly it?
Chara: I looked at the blueprints for the plane for a few seconds.
Hilda:...........Whatever.
Chara: I’m gonna win first try just watch.*Loses*
Hilda: You were saying.
Chara: Uh first try part 2!
Hilda: First try part 2? No, this is your second try.
Chara: First try, part 2.
Hilda: Okay, first try part two.
Chara: Exactly!
*20 tries later*
Hilda: What’s your zodiac sign?
*Hilda transforms into her taurus form*
Chara: I kinda need to know my birthday before I can possibly answer that.
Hilda: You don’t know when your own birthday is?!
Chara: It’s complicated.
Hilda: Okay then.
Chara: I’m actually doing a lot better this time.
*Chara gets hit pretty much as soon as she says that.*
Chara: Oh, never mind.
*20 more tries later*
Chara: Hilda I’m tired of getting hit in stupid cheap ways.
Hilda: Well I’m not tired of you getting hit.
Chara: Oh no, I’m cornered, again. How am I supposed to beat this without double health!
Hilda: You don’t.
Chara: I just realized something.
*All Hilda’s attacks just pause*
Hilda: What?
Chara: Canteen broke the fourth wall.
Hilda: He did?
Chara: Um yes.
Hilda: Okay then, let’s get back to you losing.
Chara: Okay.
*Hilda’s attacks start moving again*
Chara: How am I supposed to beat this?!
Hilda: You don’t.
*Kris shows up and sprays something in Hilda’s eyes*
Hilda: What the heck is this!? Is it like acid or something?!
Kris: It’s not acid. It’s Mcdonald's sprite.
Hilda: What?
Chara: So you’re finally finished with your shift?
Kris: Yeah……………Anyways, Hilda do we win now.
Hilda: No!! I’m not gonna give up my soul that easily!
Kris: Okay, I guess Chara and I will have to hit you with more.
Hilda: Bring it!
Kris: But like what if I feel too lazy to bring it?
Hilda: But you just said you were going to.
Kris: Yeah and, I never know what I’m saying.
Chara: Hey, I was once told to write a newsletter. You guys wanna know what I wrote?
Kris: No not really.
Hilda: Sure.
Chara: C………………………………Pretty good right.
Kris: Only if you hallucinate.
Hilda: Do you know what a newsletter is?
Chara: Nope!
Kris: That makes perfect sense.
Chara: I think I might be hallucinating but I’m at 3 hp right now.
Kris: Chara you are hallucinating. You’re at 0.01 HP.
Hilda: Wow I didn’t even know that was possible.
Kris: Yeah Chara, how are you still alive?
Chara: Determination.
Kris: How are you this determined?
Chara: I’ve been here for a while and I’m just so done.
Kris: Watch out for the tornado by the way.
Chara: Oh.*Dodges the tornado* Hilda Why are you throwing tornadoes at me? It’s rude and it’s hurting my feelings, and I don’t like it that much.
Hilda: You’re trying to take my soul!
Chara: Yeah and, I don’t see your point.
Hilda: Not see my point! There is something completely wrong with you!
Kris: There’s more than one thing wrong with Chara.
Chara: What! No! There is nothing in my head!
Kris: Exactly. Your head is empty so there’s a lot of room for problems and issues in there.
Chara: No!
Kris: Oh my gosh Chara! Quit being stupid!
Chara: I’m not stupid! Or maybe I am. But you said I’m stupid so I have to oppose it!
Kris: Oh my gosh! Hilda back me up here!
???: Knock out!
Kris: D:
Chara: Oof.
Kris: When did we even get into the final phase?
Chara: I don't know. I was in a blind panic from the moment we started to the moment we ended.
Kris: Makes sense. You are normally in a blind panic from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed.
Chara: That do be true.
Kris: Anyways we should probably do that first run n’ gun.
Chara: Oh yeah I never did that, did I.
Kris: No you didn’t.
Chara: Well okay then. Into the fray we go!
*They enter forrest follies*
Kris: All the coins are mine.
Chara: No!
Kris: Well then I guess we will fight to the death for each coin.
Chara: Agreed!
*Chara and Kris both dart forward*
Chara: That first coin is mine!!
Kris: No!!!!!
*All the enemies watch in confusion as Chara and Kris race and fight each other for each coin. *
Kris: How dare you take my coin!!
Chara: Your coin! HA! All coins in this world are mine!!
Kris: Chara you should know, because you use my credit card, you technically owe me every coin you get.
Chara: I don’t owe you anything!!
Kris: Actually you do.
Chara: Kris, how have you not learned this by now! What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is also mine!
*Chara dies*
Chara: Wait! Kris, sister! Please, save me!
Kris: Long……Live……The me.
Chara: What! No!!! Kris!!!!
Kris:*Saying sarcastically* Oh no I couldn’t save you on time. I tried so hard.
Chara: Wow!!
Kris: And that’s why you stay away from my coins.
Chara: Jokes on me you won’t make it to the end without me.
???: Bravo!
Kris: You were saying.
Chara: Grr!!! Wait, we both got the same amount of coins.
Kris: So it doesn’t matter who gets the coins?
Chara: Yeah.
Kris: You mean, I let you die over nothing.
Chara: I mean technically.
Kris: Technically?
Chara: I mean it was pretty funny.
Kris: That’s true, it was pretty funny.
Chara: Anyways wanna go fight each other in tree top trouble, I mean go do tree top trouble.
Kris: Of course.
*They enter tree top trouble*
Chara: I totally know what I’m doing!
Kris: No you don’t Chara.
Chara: No I don’t……………… Wait, I actually do know what I’m doing.
Kris: You do!?
Chara: Waluigi pinball.
Kris: Chara.
Chara: Yeah?
Kris: You’re a genius Chara.
Chara: I am?! I mean Yeah I am!
*They pinball all the way up to the top*
Chara: It worked! Now we’re floating like dua lipa.
*Ribby and croaks going on a brief stroll to get their minds off the fact that they could be losing their souls* *Sees Chara and Kris floating like dua lipa.*
Ribby: Not again.
*They both turn around and go back to their club.*
Kris: Destruction!
???: Bravo!
Chara: YEAH!!!!!
Kris: Now we can fight Cagney.
Chara: Oh Cagney? Already?
Kris: Yeah.
Chara: Cool! There’s something I wanna tell him.
Kris: Well now's the perfect time to tell him.
Chara: When we threaten to take his soul.
Kris: Yeah.
*They enter floral fury*
Kris: Bippitty boppity your soul is no longer your property.
Cangey: I wouldn’t say that too soon.
Chara: Hey Cagney after we take your soul, you can go on a date with Hilda.
Cagney: What!! What in the world makes you think I’d want that?!
Chara: The level of red your face turned when I said that.
Kris: As the voice of reason here on the battlefield I have to say; yep Cagney totally likes Hilda.
Cagney: What!
Chara: Stop denying it.
Kris: Search your feelings Cagney, you know it to be true.
Cagney: S-shut up!
Chara: Aww you’re getting flustered.
Cagney: NO I’M NOT!!!
Kris: Then why are your attacks missing?
Chara: Yeah those seeds went to say hi to the sky.
*They enter the final phase of the fight.*
Chara: Oh no!
Kris: Don’t get hit by the pollen.
Chara: I’ll try not to!!*Gets hit by the pollen* I don’t like that. It’s like I hallucinated when I touched it.
Kris: Wow when Cagney stops being flustered he has a pretty good aim.
Chara: You know who else has a good aim.
Cagney: Oh no. Shut up!
Kris: Is it Hilda?
Chara: Yeah! Both of them throw really rude things at me, and make me feel sad when I get hit.
Cagney: Good, suffer.
Chara: But like, what if I don’t want to.
Cagney: Well then too bad!
Chara: Wait Kris why aren’t you dodging anything?
Kris: Oh sorry. I was just thinking about how cute it is that Hilda and Cagney like each other.
Cagney: SHUT UP!!!!
Chara: It’s not like you liking her is a bad thing.
Kris: No it’s okay Chara. Cagney is just afraid of love.
Cagney: AM NOT!!!
Chara: Kris, do you think we’re going to first try this?
Kris: Maybe.
???: Knockout!!!
Kris: Actually yes I think we will.
Chara: Woah! Mind blown!
Kris: Don’t worry Cagney.
Cagney: You won’t actually give up my soul?
Kris: No, but we will make sure you get that date with Hilda.
Cagney: How am I not surprised.
Chara: Well it’s off to aisle 2!!!!
Kris: Where we’ll struggle a lot and just when we think things won’t get harder for us Grim will come like a piano crushing us from the skies.
Chara: That was a fun picture you just painted in my head.
*They go off to aisle 2*
PART 2
Chara: I love this cupcake.
Kris: Chara I thought you were against making sense.
Chara: Oh you’re right. Let’s go sugar land shimmy.
Kris: You can shimmy but I’m just gonna take out the enemy.
Chara: Have you ever thought maybe we’re their enemy?
Kris: We are.
Chara: Oh okay.
*They enter sugar land*
Chara: I’m here to eat all of you!!
Baroness: Say what?!
Chara: Well you see, every time I see chocolate I will eat it without hesitation.
Baroness: Don’t send any of the chocolate out to try and kill you, got it.
Kris: This place is like a dream and a nightmare at the same time.
Baroness: Good!
Chara: Why do you hide in your castle like a coward?
Baroness: Caution! Ever heard of it?!
Chara: No, what’s caution?
Kris: Baroness doesn’t want us to take her soul, so she’s choosing to be cautious and not engage us directly. Therefore caution is when someone chooses to be careful as to not get hurt or make a mistake.
Baroness: Yeah you pretty much got it.
Chara: Caution is a myth.
Kris: What?
Chara: Those are famous last words. All who perish say that.
Kris: I wonder why they perish.
Chara: Me too!!
Baroness: What!! you just killed the jaw breaker!! How dare you!!
Chara: I mean he could have backed down at any point.
Kris: Yeah we don’t attack people who surrender.
Baroness: That’s okay I’ll just kill you myself!!
Chara: Okay!
Kris: We can take you on!
Baroness: I would wish you luck but I don’t really actually want you guys to have good luck……….so I won’t.
Chara: Jokes on you we don’t need luck!!!
Baroness: I’m still gonna beat you!
Kris: Why are you throwing your head at us?
Chara: Also how is a new one growing in its place?
Baroness: I don’t know it’s just how it works!
Kris: Alright Chara if we’re going to win this we need to have extreme focus.
Chara: Extreme focus, got it!!......................................................................I’m tired of having extreme focus.
Kris: You’re right.
Chara: Let’s talk about condiments. So frosting is a top tier condiment.
Baroness: Frosting isn’t a condiment.
Chara: What the heck makes frosting not a condiment?
Kris: Frosting Is a whipped topping for a desert not a substance such as salt or ketchup that is used to add flavor to food.
Baroness: Wow, are you a dictionary or something!?
Kris: No But I do know a lot of words.
Chara: Hey baroness, can I tell you something?
Baroness: What?
Chara: Mafia!
Baroness: Oh so you’re reminding me of my best memory.
Chara: Yeah.
???: Knockout!!
Kris: We won.
Chara: Mafia!
Kris: Chara, no.
Chara: Oh.
Kris: Anyways, how about we confuse a genie now.
Chara: You mean we get to fight Djimmy?
Kris: Yes.
Chara: Yay!!
*They enter the pyramid.*
Chara: Come to die.
Djimmy: How about you come to die!
Chara: I can’t come to die, I already invited you to come and die!!!
Kris: She doesn’t actually want to kill you.
Chara: Anyway, Kris we gotta focus.
Kris: Right!
*Then intense focus ensued*
Chara: pinwheel, pinwheel no!!!
Kris: if you want to dodge in a level like this, circles are your friends.
Djimmy: Did you just say level?
Kris: Uh Ignore that! I broke the 4th wall, okay!
Djimmy: You broke the fourth wall? How could you!
Kris: Sorry I’ll do better okay.
Chara: That sounds like a habada.
Djimmy: What? Is habada even a word?
Chara:.........................................................
Kris: And we died.
*They re enter the level*
Chara: We can do this!
Kris: We just have to be mindful of what’s happening around us.
*2 minutes later*
Chara: Hey Djimmy, what’s your habada?
Djimmy: I don’t know?
Chara: Cool, cool. Kris I found out that in this third phase if we stay near the back and go up and down it’s harder for him to hit us, while we still deal damage to him.
Kris: Oh nice thanks for the tip.
Chara: No problem. I’m intelligent……..Maybe.
Kris: We both know you’re of average intelligence.
Chara: That may be true but every now and then I do something very smart.
Kris: Oh cool we’re in his 5th phase now.
Djimmy: Just try to handle this.
Chara: So Kris, why do you think that kids like the taste of cinnamon toast crunch.
Djimmy: What!?
Kris: Djimmy just know our balance of non-sense and actually paying attention go back and forth in pengulum swings that will break your brain in two.
Djimmy: Okay then.
*Chara and Kris lose again*
Chara: We’re back!
Kris: This pyramid won’t be our peril this time!
Djimmy: Are you sure about that!?
Kris: Yeah.
Chara: I have a lot of bombs.
Djimmy: Your many bombs won’t defeat me!!!
Chara: What about my habada?
Djimmy: No, not even your habada! Whatever that is.
Chara: Habada!!!!!!!!!!
Kris:*Throws a giant hammer at Djimmy*
???:Knockout!!!!!
Kris: Habada.
Chara: So that was your habada.
Kris: Yes. Habada was hammer.
Chara: I love throwing grammar out the window.
Kris: I know right.
Chara: Anyways, bye Djimmy thanks for the soul contract.
Djimmy: I feel so disrespected.
Kris: That’s because you were disrespected.
*Chara walks up to the roller coaster*
Chara: It’s a clown!
Kris: OO you love clowning around Chara.
Chara: Clowning around is so much fun.
Kris: Let’s fight!
*They enter the level*
Chara: How long until we find Beppi here on the roller coaster?
Kris: I don’t know, let’s just keep breaking every single law of gravity until he shows up.
Chara: Baroness von bonbon was right, you are a dictionary.
Kris: Oh hey look Beppi.
Beppi: What the heck are you kids doing walking on the roller coaster tracks?
Chara: We were looking for you!
Beppi: Oh what for?
Kris: Nothing too important, just here to claim your soul.
Beppi: WHAT!!!!
Kris: We’re going to be claiming your soul.
Beppi: We’ll see about that!!
Chara: Ahh!!! Ducks!! Ducks no NOOOO!!!
*Beppi drives into Kris*
Kris: Excuse you! You can’t touch me!!
Beppi: Then how come I did!
Chara: I don’t know! This game is rigged or something!
Beppi: Wow, sounds like a skill issue.
Kris: No I don’t have skill issues. If I get hit it’s a skill issue on your part.
*They die*
Kris: See! Beppi, why’d you have to do bad!! Because of you we died!
Beppi: Maybe I was trying to kill you guys.
Chara: Snow luck angering him.
Kris: That wasn’t funny.
Beppi: I thought it was funny.
Kris: Of course the clown thinks the clown is funny.
Chara: Wait. Kris I don’t understand words! Quit using them!!
Beppi: Using words when someone doesn’t understand words. How rude can you get, Kris!
Kris: But you just used words.
Beppi: Stop bullying the one who doesn’t understand words!!
Kris: No!
*Chara and Kris lose again*
Kris: Really, again. Beppi I’m gonna need you to uh stop sucking so we can beat this level.
Chara: But Kris, what if Beppi doesn’t know how to do better.
Kris: Who’s side are you on!!!?
Chara: Snow idea.
Kris:*Sighs*
Beppi: Wow you’re un-brr-leavabley good at these puns.
Chara: I just flake it till I make it.
Kris: Oh my gosh.
Beppi: Oh that was a good one! But you should get back to paying attention to the fight don’t forget what’s at flake.
Chara: I do in fact know what’s at flake but there’s no reason I can’t stay chill.
Beppi: That’s true. I like your joke so much I think I’ll give you a tip for this phase you should just go with the snow.
Kris: It’s not even winter.
Chara: Don’t flurry Kris, we’re at a carnival be happy!
Kris: No I don’t want to.
Chara: Snow well, I guess I'll just go back to sleighing all day.
Beppi: Well that will be an easier sled than done thing, for you.
Chara: Ha you know Beppi, there is snow one like you.
Beppi: Why thank you. You’re pretty Thaw-some.
Chara: Aww that’s so sleet of you to sleigh.
Kris: For the love of everything that is good, SHUT UP!!!!
???: Knockout!!
Chara: Oh, Here comes the big sad.
Kris: Chara I can see the puns in your eyes, fight it!
Chara: You know kris, I would chill for a cup of herbaln tea right now.
Kris: NOOO!!!
Beppi: Yes!!!
*They hop off the roller coaster tracks*
Chara: So who’s next?
Kris: We could try fighting Wally.
Chara: Okay!!
*They walk up to the bird house and enter Aviary Action*
Wally: You two really think you can beat me? Ha! Maybe in your dreams!
Kris: Actually I don’t have dreams!
Wally: What?
Kris: Dreaming only leads to disappointment so I don’t dream.
Wally: Wow you are a very sad person. Oh well guess I’ll just have to end your misery by destroying you in this fight.
Chara: No I don’t think you’re going to win this one. In fact I know we’ll win.
*Wally fries some bullets at them*
Chara: No guns!!!! No guns against the very good avocados!
Kris: I’m not a good avocado, I'm that one that’s weird and bitter and mushier than it should be.
Chara: Okay then you be a bitter avocado.
Kris: Bitter AND mushy.
Chara: Fine; You be a bitter and mushy avocado.
Kris: Better.
Chara: Anyways all this talk about avocado’s is making me think about cuephant.
Kris: Cuephant? No, it's pronounced cuffant.
Chara: Ew no that is the dumbest pronunciation I’ve ever heard.
Wally: Are you two seriously arguing over grammar?!
Kris: Yes we are, now stop interrupting.
Chara: So rude.
Kris: Anyways, it’s a metal elephant. Cuff for the steel cuffs and phant for elephant.
Chara: But cuffant has such an ugly sound that doesn’t fit the pokemon at all Cuephant is a far superior choice of pronunciation.
Wally: What the heck is cuephant?
Chara: Ha! See! He gets it!!!
Kris: What!! Why!!
Wally: Cuephant does actually sound better. And Saying cuffant just is not pleasant to say or hear.
Kris: Cuephant is just as stupid.
Chara: Cuephant is a cute elephant.
Kris: Fine whatever.
Chara: Great. Oh! Wally just lost all of his feathers and fell out of his bird house.
Kris: Oh wow.
Willy: You trying to take my fathers soul? Prepare to be defeated!
Kris: Okay nerdly 2.0 with teeth.
Willy: What?
Chara: Don’t mind her, she's feeling toxic right now.
Willy: Oh okay.
Chara: Wee we’re winning!
Kris: I kinda hope Willy successfully hits you.
Chara: Wow!!!
*Willy leaves and the final phase starts*
Wally: I’m back.
Kris: Dang it Willy didn’t hit Chara.
Chara: Aww isn’t that a shame. I feel so sad for you.
Kris: You don’t sound sad.
Wally: Wow you two need some serious help.
Chara: Yeah, we probably do.
Wally: Probably!? I’m on a stretcher right now, and I’m still sure that you two need more help than me.
Chara: Huh, I don’t see your point.
Kris: Well that’s because you’r
Chara: Fair. Wait! I just noticed the two doctor birds carrying Wally. WHat’s up docs!!
Wally: You’re noticing them just now!?
Chara: Yeah, because I’m stupid, oaky.
Wally: Whatever I’m done! Good bye.
Chara: Huh What did we do?
Kris: You’re annoying.
Chara: Are you still salty about those winter puns?
Kris: Your tomfoolery is making me their target, everytime.
Chara: Oh! Wait, is that why you ended with one HP!?
Kris: Yes.
Chara: Oh, um sorry, I guess.
Kris: You guess!?
Chara: Anyways! Grim he’s a cute little derpy dragon. Let’s go fight him!
Kris: Whatever.
*They walk up to Grim's tower*
Chara: Grim! We’re here to fight you, and make you pay your little debt!
Kris: He’s not even in his tower.
Chara: He’s not!?
Kris: Yeah, he’s just vibing up there in the clouds.
Chara: Then to the clouds we go!
*Once they get up to where Grim is*
Chara: Grim, hewo! We are here for your soul.
Grim: O-O-O-Oh
Kris: I would apologize for whatever nonsense is about to happen, but I don’t really want to.
Chara: Hm so we’re fighting a dragon type so I think I’ll use; Mcdonalds employee go!
Kris: Go where.
Chara: Mcdonald's employee attack.
Kris: Oh okay, I’ll do the only attack I know.
*Kris puts on the mcdonalds employee cap*
Kris: Alright sir what would you like today?
Grim: W-W-What?
Kris: A number one?
Grim: N-No. I-I-I I just d-don’t understand w-what’s happening here.
Kris: I’m taking your order, now what do you want to eat?
Grim:............................ Y-You two make no sense.
Chara: And?
Grim: I-In o-order to w-win I’m j-just g-gonna ignore you.
Kris: Okay I probably wouldn’t have even gotten your order anyway.
Chara: I’d like french fries.
Kris: Sorry french machine broke, oh also the frye machine broke so I don’t think we can get you either.
Chara: Oh.
*They both die*
Chara: Also oh.
Kris: That fire was nice and toasty.
Chara: Toastyer than our toaster at home.
Kris: You mean our bread warmer?
Chara: Wow! No, that’s accurate our toaster does seem to only warm our bread instead of toast our bread.
Kris: There is no such thing as us having a working toaster.
Chara: Imagine having something that actually works. Must be great.
Kris: Yeah but our current life budget because of you wasting all my money on plushies is now $5.
Chara: Wait, that's all you have left!?
Kris: Your fault for wasting $30,000 on those plushies.
Chara: It was important to have them.
Kris: You could have used your money. You have infinite money Chara!!
Chara: I can’t part with my money!! Every single dollar is important!!
Grim: W-Wow your greed i-is disgusting.
Kris: It really is disgusting how greedy she is.
Chara: I don’t get how saving my money is a bad thing.
Kris: Grim burn her!
Grim: Okay.
*Kris also gets his*
Kris: I forgot I also needed to dodge as well.
Chara: Okay fine I’ll pay you back for all the things I’ve bought with your money. You can expect a 30 million dollar check in your room tomorrow.
Kris: Is that really how much of my money that you’ve spent?!
Chara: No, I spent 20 million of your dollars. I just threw in an extra 10 million to let you know I am kinda sorry for making you practically broke.
Kris: Aww, that’s actually kinda mature of you to say.
*They both die again*
Kirs: Oh.
Chara: Our dodging skills are amazing.
Kris: I think the more embarrassing thing is, we haven't even left the first phase.
Chara: What!!
*3 hours later*
Kris: I think what’s actually worse is he just thinks this is a game.
Chara: Grim! Grim please I don’t want to play, let’s see who’s stronger, anymore. It’s fairly clear that you're the winner!
Kris: What! If we were playing, let's see who’s stronger I’d win!
Chara: Are you sure about that?
Kris: No.
Chara: Okay then. Anyways, Grim please let’s play a new game like I spy, or hopscotch.
Grim: You’d like a new game, okay, how about we play “see who can dodge longer or simply take more hits.”
Chara: It’s not let’s see who’s stronger so let’s do it. Wait, Kris, what game did he say we’re playing now?
Kris: You just agreed to play the, let’s see who can last the longest game.
Chara: Oh, oh no.
*10 tries later*
Chara: This is a game right? Where are the toys? I should have a train to play with for this fight! Where’s my train?
Kris: Oh you want a train to play with?*Starts typing on a keyboard.*
Chara: Yeah.
Kris: Okay press L twice and then go to shoot like you have been.
Chara: Okay? *does exactly what Kris said to do*
*A gigantic train comes out of nowhere.
???: Knockout!!
Chara: I deployed train!! YEAH!!!
Kris: We won.
Chara: I like trains.
Kris: Wait no Chara why would you say th-
*Train comes and steam rolls both of them*
*They respawn*
Chara: Oh, yeah. I forgot.
Part 3
*They enter the die house*
Chara: Oh hi king dice how are ya?
King dice: !? Oh well uh I’m doing fine, I guess.
Kris: That’s nice. Alright Chara leave your friend say goodbye let’s go to isle 3!
*They both leave*
King dice: Those two are so weird.
Chara: Let’s fight Rumor now.
Kris: Stupid bee.
*They enter*
Chara: Hewo, we would like to have a civilized chat with your queen, Mrs Rumor honeybottoms.
Bee cop: Looks like we got a good ol’ fashion honey heist!
Chara: That is not what I said!
Rumor: They’re after my honey? Get them!!!
Chara: I never said that! Kris, they're not listening to what I’m saying, and it’s hurting my feelings. I don’t like it.
Kris: They’re not listening to you? Here let me give this super mean bee cop a boo boo for such rudeness. *Punches the bee cop*
Bee cop: Ow, now I have to flee from battle since you got me slightly hurt.
Kris: Cool, but I really don’t actually care.
Rumor: Oh, so you two defeated my chief of police I guess I’ll have to ward you off myself.
*They both die to the circle attack almost immediately*
Rumor: Hey, this honey is off limits!
Chara: We weren’t even after your honey! We just wanted you to pay your debt!
Bee cop: So you're back to try and steal the honey again?
Chara: we’re not here to steal your honey!!
Kris: Falcon ponch!!! *Lightly taps the bee cop*
Bee cop: Ow! How are your punches so strong?! I’m retreating again.
Rumor: *Sighs* Guess I’ll once again stop you from getting the honey.
Chara: Ms Rumor, we do not want your dumb smelly honey!!
Rumor: Sorry but reverse psychology won’t work on me.
Chara: It’s not reverse psychology!! What about me would make you think I’m smart enough to think of that.
Rumor: You will never get this honey!
Chara: And she’s back to ignoring me……………..Joy.
*20 Minutes of losing and trying again later*
Chara: You know what! Steal all the honey!!!!
Bee cop: Oh no they’re gunning for the honey!!
Kris: “They”? Chara is, I’m just vibing here jumping up only when I need to.
Bee cop: I will never let you two get to that honey!!
Kris: Are you really sure you want to ignore me?! *Getting ready to punch him*
Bee cop: Oh no! It’s an angry man, woman , child!!! *Flies away as quickly as possible*
Chara: Hey Kris, how do you be that squarey?
Kris: Have a temper.
Chara: Oh okay.
Rumor: Perish to my magic triangles!
Kris: No not the triangles.
Chara: I don’t like the triforce of bee-dom.
*They fail again*
Kris: This Stupid bee!!!
*Frisk comes in*
Frisk: Hey guys how are you?
Kris: I don’t even want to take Rumor's soul anymore, I wanna kill her!!!
Frisk: Kirs, Calm down there’s no reason to murder. Here enter the level again.
Kris: Whatever.
*they re-enter*
Bee cop: You guys still haven’t given up?!
Kris: No!
Chara: And we’re not gonna!!
Frisk: Um, mister Bee cop?
Bee cop: Yes.
Frisk: Could you please move along. Kris is having some anger issues right now and I’d hate it if you got punched.
Bee cop: Oh! Well since you asked so nicely I guess I can.
*The Bee cop flys off*
Chara: How!!!
Frisk: I used my words.
*Rumor comes down*
Frisk: Oh Rumor, perfect timing! Kris, isn't there something you’d like to say to Rumor?
Kris: Yes! Rumor, you’re a horrible person and no one on inkwell isle likes you.
Frisk: Now Kris, that wasn’t very nice. Let's try putting things in “when you do this it makes me feel this” Statements.
Kris: Okay fine. Rumor when you live it makes me feel angry! Because you’re a horrible person and no one on inkwell isle likes you.
*Frisk leaves*
Rumor: *Gasps* The nerve! If you weren’t my enemy I’d have half the mind to make you my number one!
Kris: Wait, what?
Rumor: I love the boldness, the bravery to speak your mind, the disregard for consequences! The more I keep thinking about it the more I want you to be my number one. Hm how about this if you become my number one I’ll let you have some of my honey.
Kris: Swap the honey with your soul and we have a deal.
Rumor: Hm, I did offer my soul in a deal once before so sure! Deal!!
Chara: Finally, we won! And I had no Idea that would be how we did it.
Kris: I’m the number one of a bee now, I don’t think anyone saw this coming.
Chara Fair point. So uh go fight Briney now?
Kris: Sure.
*They run off to Briney’s pirate ship”
Chara: Wow! I just decided we’re pirates!
Kris: We’re not pirates, Chara.
Chara: Well not with that attitude!
Briney: Are ye really wanting to be pirates?!
Chara: Yes
Kris: No
Chara: Wait, Kris! What are you talking about? Of course we wanna be pirates!!!
Kris: No we don’t
Chara: Then why are we here at the docs?
Kris: Because we were looking for Brineybeard to make him pay his debt!
Briney: Ye be here to collect me debt?! Which one?
Kris: Soul debt.
Briney: Oh! The only one I won't pay.
Kris: So you’re going to pay your other debts?
Briney: Maybe.
Chara: Yeah! He might. We don’t know.
Briney: Since ye two be here for me soul, ye can die now.
Chara: I mean I wasn’t planning on dying today, but I’m open to the idea.
Kris: Wait what? You’re open to the idea?
Chara: I mean I’m open to any suggestions anyone gives me sooo. You know. Who knows it could be fun.
Kris: I don’t think you’d have fun.
Briney: I don’t know, it sounds pretty fun to me. Both of ye should try it for me to see if it’s fun.
Kris: No.
Chara: I won’t make any promises. But I might.
*Kris dies*
Chara: Oh.
Kris: Are you not gonna parry me?
Chara: Oh yeah! I forgot I could do that! Carp!! Uh *parries kris*
Kris: Thanks! Also how the heck did you forget that you could parry me?
Briney: She be slow.
Chara: Yeah. How have you not learned by now that I’m stupid? Even Briney knows that and he’s only known me for 10 seconds.
Kris: More like a minute.
Chara: No, only 10 seconds.
Kris: Okay 10 seconds.
Chara: No it changed now to 11 seconds.
Briney: Ye really need to keep up.
Chara: Yeah, how else will you understand what’s going on in the story?
Kris: What story? This is just nonsense.
Chara: Exactly!
Kris: What?
Briney: The story be nonsense. How are ye this bad at understanding?
Kris: I don’t know. I guess I just caught the stupid from Chara.
Chara: Yeah, that’s probably it.
Kris: And now your ship is spitting cannon balls at us.
Briney: Yeah, Ye two might be lovely to talk to, but ye two be trying to get me soul so I still want ye dead.
Chara: So that’s why you whistled at a shark to get it to jump up and attack us.
Briney: Yes. *Calls another animal up to help him*
Chara: What, a squid! Hey squid, are you a kid or a squid?
Squid:? *Leaves early*
Kris: This isn’t splatoon Chara.
Chara: It isn’t?! Oh! That must have been why it was able to be in the water.
Briney: Why would a squid not be able to be in the water?
Kris: It’s a long scientific explanation revolving around this game called splatoon.
Briney: Oh.
Chara: Does your ship like snacks?
Briney: To be honest I forget it be a livin’ ship.
Chara: Oh.
*Ship throws Briney off*
Kirs: Oh, gosh!
Chara: It’s angry!
Kris: That is something that it is.
Chara: Is it firing a laser!?
Kris: Oh gosh! It is!
Chara: Duck, or parry? Duck or parry?
Kris: Duck!
Chara: Okay! Okay! Okay!
Kris: Why do I not like this?
Chara: Because it’s an angry ship!
*Fires another laser*
Chara: Mr pirate ship, nobody is perfect, that’s why pencils have erasers!!!!
*The pirate ship sails away leaving the soul contract behind*
Kris: Did we just win?
Chara: I guess so.
Kris: Okay, then. Let’s go fight Cala.
*They go to the shipwreck and enter high seas highjynx*
Chara: WOOF!
Cala: What?
Kris: Don’t mind the feral-
Chara: WOOF!!!
Cala: Whatever, I don’t know why you kids are here but I’m gonna either kill you or beat you-
Chara: WOOF!!!
Cala: Can you shut up!!!
Kris: Did you call us kids?
Cala: Yes.
Kris: I’m not a kid, I have a job.
Cala: Oh, well then. If you have a job, what is it?
Kris: I work at McDonalds as the employee.
Cala: The?
Kris: My two co-workers were never formally highered.
Cala: How can they be co workers and not be formally highered?
Kris: Easy, the manager has been dead for a while now.
Cala: If the manager is dead, then how is that area still open?
Kris: Easy, because I’m the employee.
Cala: This is the dumbest conversation I’ve ever-
Chara: WOOF!!!!
Kris: Chara, is that the only thing you’re gonna-
Chara: Woof!!!
Kris: Let’s just ignore her.
Cala: Agreed.
*Cala starts belching ghost pirates at them*
Kris: Oh, so this is why Briney has no crew.
Chara: WOOF!!!
*After a while of straight up nonsense the two eels pop up and electrocute Cala.*
Chara: WOOF!!!
Kris: That looked painful. Are you sure you want to keep fighting us Cala?
*Cala turns both of them to stone.*
Chara:*While still stone* WOOF!!
Cala: What, how!!! You’re stone right now! You shouldn’t be able to-
Chara: WOOF!!!!!
*Kris breaks out of the stone*
Kris: Chara! Stop saying woof! You’re not a dog!!!
Chara: W-
Kris: NO!!!
Chara: WOOF!!!!!!!
Cala: She’s clearly not gonna listen.
Kris: Yeah, chara’s too far gone.
Chara: WOOF!!!!!
Kris: Chara, why are you even saying woof?
Chara: WOOF!!
Cala: I would try turning her to stone but that doesn’t seem to be stopping her.
Kris: Wow that’s a lot of eels. We’re not gonna be successful in dodging this next attack are we.
Chara: WOOF!!!! *Takes out all the eels with an ex move*
Kris: Okay, I’ll take it.
Cala: Why are you two even out here anyway?
Kris: I’ll let you know after I win.
Chara: WOOF!!!
Cala: Your friend Chara makes no sense.
Kris: Huh, that's strange, because this is the tamest they’ve been.
Cala: That’s concerning.
Chara: WOOF!!!
*Cala becomes just a floating head*
Kris: And now you’re just a floating head. I really don’t think you’re okay, you should just forfeit.
Cala: Never!
*Kris gets hit by one of the spikes*
Kris: Of course there are random floating spikes.
Chara: WOOF!!!
Cala: Oh no. Now it’s just me and woof over here fighting. Kris! Why’d you have to go and die?!
Chara: WOOF!!!! *deploys 5 ex’ moves*
Cala: What the heck!
Kris: Chara, when did you get all those supermeter cards?
Chara: WOOF!!!
Kris: I should have known she was going to answer like that.
Chara: WOOF!!!
???: Knockout!!!
Kris: And I guess we won.
Chara: WOOF!!!!
Kris: Chara, stop that.
Chara: WOOF!!!!
Kris: Chara, WHY??!!!!!!!!
Chara: I saw Cala and remembered something so scary that I panicked and couldn’t come up with any jokes.
Kris: What was the scary thing you remembered? Fan ships?
Chara: Yeah, fan ships. There are so many scary ones.
Kris: Let’s get our minds off such scary cursed thoughts by fighting Warner.
Chara: Awww yeah! WOOF!!!!!
Kris: I thought you were done with that!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chara: I am. I just had to do it one more time. Now let’s go!!!!
*They go to Warners house*
Chara: Hello did we stumble into the right mouse hole. or uh is it a rat hole since you're a rat?
Kris: It’s A German soldier rat bunker.
Chara: Oh.
Warner: Vat are you two doing in mein territory.
Chara: Uno!
Kris: Chara, how do you still not remember why we’re talking to anyone.
Chara: Oh, yeah! Uh, we're here because you have a debt, and the person you owe wants you to pay it.
Warner: Oh so you’re here for my soul. Ha! If zat is vat you’re looking for zen be ready to lose.
Chara: No.
Kris: Chara, are you actually gonna take this fight seriously.
Chara: Wait, Kris look! He has a soup can tank! That’s beautiful!!!
Warner: Zis tank belongs to the German high command.
Chara: OO! So it’s a classy soup.
Warner: Vat kind of game do you zink zis is! Zis is not a game! Zis is var!!
Chara: Kris what kind of soup do you think that is?
Kris: I think it might be rat soup.
Chara: Oh the special limited edition soup.
Kris: Only found in Germany.
Warner: Zer is no soup! Zis is a tank!
Kris: Made out of a soup can.
Chara: We should get soup for dinner.
Kris: New soup, we eat soup, you eat soup.
Chara: What kind?
Kris: Limited edition German rat soup.
Chara: Oh. What’s so german about the soup?
Kris: The rat in the can was german.
Warner: Vat! Is zis your vay of taunting me!!?
Chara: You can have rat soup. But I think I’ll just have the can.
Warner: Vat! How dare you ignore me.
*Chara licks the soup can*
Chara: Good soup.
Warner: Zat vill be the last thing you vill ever do!!
Kris: Chara I think the german rat in my soup wants to kill you. Don’t say anything else. Let “good soup” be your last words.
Chara: Oh, Rat in Kris’ soup what did I do.
*They both die*
Warner: Zis tank is ze ultimate veapon you vill no vin!
Kris: Great now you died being confused, that’s how your descendants are gonna remember you.
Chara: Eh being dead is boring. Let’s go back to being alive.
Kris: Agreed.
Warner: Vat your back.
Chara: We decided we didn’t want to be dead any more.
Warner: Vat! You can’t just decide not to be dead anymore!!!
Kris: Then how come we did?
Chara: Maybe it’s because we’re unnatural!
Kris: We have broken enough scientific laws for that to be plausible.
Chara: Anyways mr soup rat!!! Why did you kill us? We were just wanting some of your amazing soup.
Warner: You vill get nothing!
Chara: Why tho?
Warner: Because, you are annoying!
Chara: If it’s because I licked your, “you eat soup” war tank, then I’m sorry. I won’t do it again……… If you give me some soup.
Warner: I vill not give you any soup! How have you not learned zat zis is var!!
Chara: Zis is war?!
Kris: Life is a game of war.
Chara: No, life is a game I love to play!
Kris: It’s not a game I wanna play, but yet I’m still here, ready for war.
Warner: You don’t vant to live?
Kris: I’d like to live, just not as a puppet. But guess what I am anyway.
Warner: Zat is depressing.
Chara: But like what if we just aren't puppets any more.
Kris: Chara I don’t think that’s something we can just simply decide we want to do.
Chara: Sure you can. If I was still a puppet controlled by others this world would already be nothing but void.
Kris: We should stop before we give Warner an existential crisis.
*They both notice that they’re already in the second phase of the fight.*
Chara: Oh, when did we move on to the second phase?
Warner: You’ve been in ze second phase for a while.
Chara: Oh how did we not notice?
Kris: I have no idea.
Chara: So we were talking about soup, yes?
Warner: No, you vere talking about how you were probably gonna lose.
Chara: Yeah, sounds like us.
Kris: Warner you should hit Chara it would be funny.
Chara: It would.
Warner: Vait, vhy ze heck do you also think it would be funny if I hit you?
Chara: Content, content!
Warner: Oh, it is because you are insane.
Chara: And probably gonna lose. Kris just died. Wait, if Kris is dead then why don’t I just. * Goes to the pause menu and selects remove player two*
Kris: Did you just try to remove me!?
Chara: Maybe.
Warner: Zey didn’t try, zey simply did.
Kris: Nu uh! *Presses Zr and Zl*
Player two has joined
Kris: You think you could get rid of me!?
Chara: Wow, Kris has defeated the power of being removed.
Kris: I cannot be removed.* Doges an attack from Warner* Silly rat when I’m at 1 hp I’m at full power.
Warner: I have no idea vat ze heck you are talking about anymore.
Chara: Don’t worry I don’t think we know either.
Kris: We’re talking about how you’re losing.
Chara: We are? I thought we were talking about soups and having an existential crisis.
Warner: Zat’s all I understood too.
Kris: Nope we were talking about how we were going to kick your but all along.
Warner: Vat!?
Chara: Woah!
*They start in to the 3rd phase*
Chara: And now we’re fighting a cat that randomly decided to eat warner, cool.
Kris: Mr Tom the cat was the rat soup good.
Cat: Hissss hisss meow.
Chara: I think that might be cat for “good soup”.
Kris: We just need soup to win. Just need to drop the lizard in the pit.
Chara: Why are we throwing him in the pit?
Kris: He evaded his taxes for far too long.
Chara: If the lizard got thrown into the pit for tax evasion, shouldn’t Jevil be thrown in the pit too?
Kris: Like anyone can do that.
Chara: Jevil can.
Kris: Oh the cat's face fell off. Oh, but it was a robot all along.
Chara: Oh but we won.
Kris: Now that we’ve defeated Warner let’s go to the junkyard.
Chara: And tell them that it’s the spooky month.
Kris: First of all it’s april. Second of all, it's skid and pumps thing.
Chara: Oh.
*They go to the junkyard*
Chara: Dr. Wiley! I- I mean Dr Kahl we are looking for your robot.
Dr. Kahl: Who’s Dr. Wiley?
Chara: Oh a mad scientist from the series known as Megaman.
Dr KAhl: Oh. So uh why did you want to see my robot? Is it because you heard how incredible it was?
Kris: No.
Dr kahl: Then why!?
Kris: It has a soul debt.
Dr. Kahl: Oh…….. If you want to take my robot's soul then I’ll have to make sure you two get scrapped.
Chara: But what if you find my lack of intellectuality charming.
Dr kahl: I wouldn’t. If you're dumb then why would anyone have a use for you?
Chara: Well that was a very uncivil response.
Kris: Either way you’re gonna lose!
Chara: Yeah, prepare to be overcome!
Kris: Chara since when did you use words with more than one syllable?
Chara: I’m not sure. It must be some sort of strange electrical interference messing with my coding making it to where I am able to have an increase in intellect. It makes sense since with all the technology and electrical radio waves someone's coding is bound to clash with everything lowering and or heightening something. And with the type of coding I have and my sudden increase in intense intellect and attention span that it is my code that is clashing with everything.
Dr kahl: That actually sounded pretty smart. Are you sure you’re dumb?
Chara: I am. But the magnetic force of the electrical waves are causing a temporary glitch within me.
Kris: This is unnatural.
Chara: Don’t worry it should wear off by the time we have defeated this automaton.
Dr Kahl: Like you’ll ever beat him.
Chara: Okay Kris so there is a lot of chaos going on here. But from studying the patterns of the attacks I think I know exactly how to go through this first phase without taking any damage.
Kris: What? Already?
Chara: Yeah. Now I would say follow my lead but that wouldn't be too effective because you’d probably still get hit anyway because there would be a second delay as you would need to see what I’m doing before you could go and do it so I’ll just tell you the plan.
Kris: Okay.
*Chara tells Kris the plan.*
Kris: Okay, that’s actually a really good plan. I like it.
*Within two minutes they get to the third phase.*
Dr Kahl: You might have bested my robot but you will never best me!
Chara: Don’t be too confident about that. As I know exactly how to win this part quickly.
Kris: You do?!
Chara: Yes. Dr Kahl I think you should know we plan on betraying that Mr king of peck.
Dr Kahl: You are!?
Chara: Yeah!
Kris: But don’t go letting anyone know. The more that know, the easier it will be for king dice to find out and have his boss stop us.
Dr Kahl: Okay, got it.
*Pretends to let them beat him and take the soul contract.*
Dr Kahl: *says sarcastically* Dang it.
Chara: Oh well guess we win.
*Chara and Kris leave the junkyard*
Chara: Well now that we’re out of the junkyard……………. WOOF!!
Kris: Really Chara, really.
Chara: Oh yeah right. I forgot I already did that joke.
Kris: And you’re back to stupid.
Chara: I know, isn't it great!!
Kris: Sure.
Chara: Anyways there’s a theater.
*Chara drags Kris inside and all the way to backstage*
Kris: Chara I’m not sure if we’re allowed back here.
*Chara walks right up to Sally stageplay*
Chara: Hello, I’d like two movie tickets, 3 large popcorn’s and a soda bomb.
Sally: Oh goodness you’re awfully lost. This is backstage, concessions are at the front of the theater.
Chara: Oh! Thank you!
Sally: Anyways I need to get back on stage.
Chara: Okay! Sally
*Sally heads back on stage*
*Kris follows Sally*
Kris: We’re not here for the concessions or the show! We’re here to collect your debt!!
Sally: What!! Ugh it’s interrupting my play for that!
???: A battle is surely brewing. Now go!
Sally: I’m gonna get you!!!
Chara: Get me what?
Sally: What?
Chara: You said you were gonna get me. But you never finished the sentence and never told me what you were gonna get me.
Sally: I didn’t mean get you something.
*Sally uses her umbrella to teleport to the other side of the stage*
Kris: Why are you warping!?
Sally: To make it harder for you to win!!!
*They die*
Kris: Okay! Let’s try that again.
*50 attempts later*
Chara: So this is the concession stand.
Sally: No this is the stage! You idiot!!!
Chara: You know what it could use more of?
Sally: Excuse me. What?
Chara: It could use more bread. *casually pulls an entire loaf of bread out of their pocket.*
Sally: What the heck!? You just had that casually sitting in your pocket?!
Chara: I have more if you wanna see.
Kris: Why?
Chara: So one day I was taking a walk and this angry person came out of their house and was all like, “I have way too much bread!” and then shoved a bag of bread way bigger than me into my arms.
Kris: Okay, then.
Sally: That was the randomest story I’ve ever heard.
Chara: Here I have more bread. *Throws a hole pack of bagels at her* Bread.
Kris: How much bread do you have?!
Chara: 50,000 loaves of bread , 100 packs of rolls, 20,000 bagels, 70,000 croissants, and uh 1,000 loaves of irish soda bread. Oh also 50 loaves of sourdough. So uh I believe I have enough to make a bread fort.
Sally: What the heck!
Chara: This fight needs more bread.
*20 more attempts later*
Chara: Just trust the bread Kris!
*The audience loving all this randomness*
Kris: And we’re in the final phase again.
Chara: This is one of the easier fights. How are we actually this bad?
Sally: Must be because you keep getting distracted by bread.
Chara: I Wonder.
*Chara disappears*
Kris: Where did Chara go!?
Sally: I was gonna ask that.
*Chara reappears high up at the top of the stage with a cannon*
Chara: Merry Christmas to all and to all bread! *Puts a bunch of croissants in the cannon*
*The cannon fires sending croissants flying everywhere*
???: Knockout!
Kris: And one of your stray croissants defeated Sally.
Chara: Oh sorry Sally!
Kris: I think she’s perfectly okay with it.
Chara: Oh okay. I guess I’ll come back some time and we could do something like this again!
Kris: Please don’t. I think Sally might actually want to enjoy her life as an actress.
Chara: Oh.
Kris: Anyways, we need to get to the train.
Chara: Trains! Those are things I like!
Kris: Yeah you do! But how do you feel about one filled……..With ghosts.
*They catch up with the phantom express*
Chara: OO a spooky train.
Kris: Yep.
Blind specter: What are you two doing on that hand cart?
Kris: This train, like the entire train, has a debt they need to pay.
Blind specter: Oh I guess that leaves me with no choice but to attack you guys then.
Kris: Okay, we ain't above fighting.
Chara: But what if we had a truce with them?
Kris: No! No triple truceies!
Chara: Do we even have any truces?
Kris: YES!!
Chara: Okay, name one.
Kris: Okay so I can’t name any, but we have them!!
Chara: Yeah, like Phanteye.
Kris: Do you mean the blind specter?
Chara: Yes! I hereby declare that his name is now Phanteye.
Blind specter: I like it!
Chara: Yeah!
Kris: So you’re just renaming the dead.
Chara: Sure why not! Anyway there’s a fight we’re in the middle of.
Kris: Oh, right! Fights exist.
Chara: They sure do!
Phanteye: Hey, did you know that I can see your future?
Chara: You can!?
Phanteye: Yes, you two will be…………………….counting worms.
Chara: Oh, cool! Wait! Stop everything!
*The train and the hand cart stops moving*
Chara: Kris, look at all those worms!! We should count them.
Kris: No.
Chara: We have one worm, we have two worms, we have three worms. Kris do you want to count the others?
Kris: Fine. 4 worms, 5 worms, and a grand total of 6 worms.
Chara: Phanteye you wanna look at the worms.
Phanteye: No, I'm fine.
Chara: Oh okay, we can keep going now.
*The train and the hand cart start up again*
Kris: We really did end up counting worms.
Chara: This guy is good.
Kris: And now he has no hp.
Chara: Oh okay. Bye phanteye.
Phanteye: Bye.
Chara: Yeah!!!
*They move up the line to the second phase*
Conductor: Ey! All aboard next stop your funeral!
Chara: My Funeral, or Kris’?
Conductor: Both.
Chara: Oh okay, but uh, mister Skelenductor my stop isn’t this next one, my ticket says that my stop is the ice cream store where I can get lots of lovely chocolate ice cream.
Conductor: Did you just call me “Skelenductor” ?
Chara: Yes.
Kris: For some reason Chara’s just randomly decided she could just rename you guys.
Conductor: She is pretty good at it.
Chara: Yeah! It’s so simple, just don’t suck.
Skelenductor: That does sound pretty simple.
Chara: Yeah maybe sometime I should follow my simple plan.
Skelenductor: Yeah, but you don’t feel like it.
Chara: You know I think you and Kris would get along really well.
Skelenductor: Oh?
Chara: Both of you are spookies.
Kris: Why don’t you call me so you can introduce me to him.
Chara: Good idea! *Calls Kris*
Kris: Oh hold up! I need to take this. *accepts call* *sighs* What do you want, Chara?
Chara: So I’m with a really cool spookie called the Skelenductor, and I think you two would get along really well.
Kris: Oh cool! Let me speak to him.
Skelenductor: Hey Shadow it’s me.
Kris: Oh no way I’ve always wanted to talk to me. Anyway, how are you? doing anything cool?
Skelenductor: Oh I’m doing fine. Thanks for asking. As for the other question, uh yeah I am doing something pretty cool right now.
Kris: Oh, Sweet! What are you doing right now?
Skelenductor: Oh uh, I’m fighting Kris, and Chara.
Kris: What a coincidence! I’m fighting Skelenductor with Chara right now. How funny is that?
Skelenductor: That is so funny.
Kris: Yeah. Anyway I should get back to fighting him now bye.
Skelenductor: Bye.
*Kris and Chara end the call*
Kris: Sorry about that. I was talking to my new friend Skelenductor.
Skelenductor: No problem, we all gotta stop to take a call sometimes.
Kris: Wait, where did Chara go?
Chara: I’m dead.
Kris: Oh.
*They move on to the third phase.*
Chara: It’s okay Kris I’m sure you can finish the rest of this alone.
Kris: Sure.
Chara: I believe! Don’t give up!
Kris: Meh.
Chara: c’mon the two in this next phase are punks! You can beat punks on your own!
Kris: How can I be sure you’re not just saying that.
Chara: I might, but that’s not the point!!!!
Kris: Whatever.
Chara: Anyway hello ghosts of the third phase I’m gonna call you sucker and loli!
Sucker: Okay?
Loli: Ha! The tiny, dead loud one called you a sucker.
Sucker: Whatever dum dum!!
Loli: No it’s Loli now!!
Kris: Who are you two fighting? Me, or eachother?
Sucker: Why not both!
Kris: Because that would be counterproductive towards your goal of beating me?
Loli: The smart one has a point.
Kris: Well yeah, I’m the smart one!
Chara: Peck yeah!!!
Kris: Did you just say……………….Peck?
Chara: Yeah! It’s really fun.
Kris: Yeah, but that doesn’t mean a lot since you think everything is fun.
Chara: That’s because everything is fun! Plus I don’t think everything is fun.
Kris: Oh really. What do you think is not fun?
Chara: My past.
Kris: Oh. That uh really is not a fun thing dusty and dark yes but you’re right when you say that fun is not a thing to use to describe your past.
Chara: I know. It was bad. It was really baaaaaaad.
Sucker: I’m sure your past couldn’t have been that bad.
Chara: I was a puppet and someone made me do mass genocide over and over till I somehow managed to escape and learn how to become good.
Sucker: Oh.
Chara: Yeah, it was really, really, baaaaaad!
Loli: That does sound pretty not fun.
Chara: Anyways! We’re in the middle of a super fun battle!
Kris: I have the ultimate strategy.
Chara: Is it the ultimate wall hug?
Kris: Ultimately.
Sucker: You two are hilarious!
Loli: I thought that Beppi guy was the clown.
Chara: We’re his friends.
Loli: Oh, that makes sense.
Chara: So Kris, how's your ultimate wall hug going?
Kris: Oh, it’s going pretty ultimately.
*Chara randomly throws a ball and it lands next to Loli*
Loli: What?! Who threw the ball?!
Chara: I bet it was one of those ghosts trying to harass Kris.
Loli: Ghosts stop throwing balls at me or you’re gonna
*Chara throws another ball*
Loli: That’s it you ghosts, get back on the train!
*The ghosts go back in*
Kris: Chara, what the heck are you doing?
Chara: Nothing.
Kris: That’s not true! I can hear you laughing to yourself.
Chara:....................................................
*Chara throws a ball in Suckers direction*
Sucker: What!? Now someone is throwing balls at me!
Kris: And Chara’s laughing again. Chara I can’t tell if you're laughing because you’re causing someshinanigans or if you’re just watching youtube “no context” videos.
Chara: …………………………………………………..
*Chara throws another one*
Loli: I’m starting to think that it might not be the ghosts who were throwing them.
Kris: Chara!?
Chara: You can prove nothing.
Loli: That says it all right there! how dare you throw a ball, and how dare you lie about who threw it!
Kris: Chara technically didn’t lie about who threw it.
Loli: No, I'm sure Chara lied about it.
Sucker: Yeah! Chara said it was one of the ghosts harassing you.
Kris: Yeah, Chara’s a ghost and they harass me with their nonsense.
Loli: Okay so Chara didn’t lie.
Sucker: but She still threw the ball!
Chara: I did do that.
Kris: Why can’t you go back to being intelligent Chara?
Chara: Because that would be boring.
Kris: Oh.
Chara: So how do I get on this train anyways?
Loli: Sorry, you can’t. This train is for the dead only.
Chara: I am dead.
Loli: Oh then come on board any time.
Kris: Shoot! I’m not dead.
Sucker: Oh we can help with that.
Kris: No I’m good, I actually kinda wanna win this fight.
Sucker: Oh.
*Loli gets defeated*
Chara: Oh carp! Did he just melt!?
Sucker: LOLI!!!
Kris: I am so sorry I thought I was just gonna beat you guys into submission.
Sucker: That’s what I thought too.
Chara: Wait does that mean.
Kris: No, Sucker don’t let me do it to you too, just stand down.
Sucker: No!
Kris: Oh, then have fun melting because I am not losing!!
Sucker: Fine! I-I’ll stand down!
*Kris moves up the line to the head of the train*
Chara: Did you realize that the acronym for head of the train is H.O.T.T.
Kris: Yes it’s HOTT.
H.O.T.T: What a lovely night to bring the fright.
Chara: What’s up H.O.T.T!
Kris: Hey H.O.T.T has anyone ever told you how hott you are.
H.O.T.T: When I said it was a lovely night to bring the fright, I meant for me to bring the fright, not you two!
Kris: Sorry I can’t help myself.
Chara: Neither can I. H.O.T.T! H.O.T.T! H.O.T.T
H.O.T.T: Can you stop.
Chara: Okay sorry, H.O.T.T.
H.O.T.T: That’s it.
*H.O.T.T disconnected from the server*
Chara: Oh.
Kris: I guess we win.
Chara: Nice!! I guess we get to go fight King dice! Oh and also fight all the employee’s he has at his disposal.
Kris: Yay!
Part 4
*The two cross the tracks and enter the casino*
King dice: Good job it looks like you two defeated all them debtors.
Chara: Them crazy safari hat’s! We gotta get 'em!
King dice:?.....Anyways, you two made me lose a bet, and I won’t let that slide so easily.
Kris: What bet did we make you lose.
Chara: Did you bet that we couldn’t beat all the debtors?! Did you not believe in us!?
King dice: Well you are kinda stupid. But anyway, how about a game before I let you go to the bosses office.
Chara: Question: does the game involve spoons?
King dice: Why would it be about spoons?
*Chara pulls a spoon out of her sleeve.*
King dice: What in the world.
Kris: It’s sad that things like this have become normal to me.
King dice: Whatever, let's just start this game.
*They start the all bets are off fight*
Chara: Look at us! We’re so tiny we’re standing on the craps table!
Kris: Is this the craps table?
Chara: Probably!
*King dice summons a parryable dice for them*
Chara: I’m gonna roll a three just watch!
*Rolls a two*
Kris: You were saying.
*They get sent to chips*
Chara: Ye-haw!
Kris: Chara, what are you doing?
Chips: Is she making fun of my cowboy aesthetic!?
Kris: I don’t know.
Chara: You’re not the king of peck. Why would I make fun of you?
Kris: Because, you’re a wild card that does and says whatever you feel like.
Chara: Speaking of charms.
Chips: But nobody said anything about charms.
Chara: My recommended charm for “all bets are off” is the smoke bomb! It’s super useful since it makes it to where you can’t take damage during a dash!
Chips: What. How’s it fair for you to have something to stop you from taking damage!?
Chara: Easy! You have a lot more HP than the two of us combined and I think we might only be able to damage you by hitting your face.
Chips: Okay fair point.
Kris: Chara, how is it that you vary from making no sense and complete sense.
Chara: It’s those pendulum swings you were talking about when we fought djimmy. I will always go back and forth and it will break someone's mind in two we just don’t know who's yet.
Kris: Okay, makes sense.
Chara: Hey chips can I just say, your aesthetics are absolutely amazing.
Chips: Why thank you.
Kris: How long does it take to defeat you?!
Chips: You don’t.
Chara: What if we asked nicely?
Chips: No.
Chara: What if we gave you a dead bush?
Chips: Okay.
???: Knockout!
Chara: We did it.
Kris: We’re also at 1 Hp both, and still have a ways away to go from getting to the end.
Chara: We can do it! PA-SI-TIVITY!!
Kris: Okay, I guess you can do that.
Chara: We’re going to win this first try I can feel it!
Kris No we’re not.
Chara: Well not with that attitude. Just remember when in doubt, use fire!
Kris: When in doubt, use fire?
Chara: Yeah!
Kris: Okay, I like fire. Fire is fun.
Chara: That’s the spirit! Now Kris, Roll the dice!
Kris: What if I parry it instead?
Chara: Okay!
*Kris parries it*
Kris: I got a one.
Chara: Cool! Let's see who’s on this one.
*They get sent to weezy’s area*
Chara: Wow! Look at all this fire!
Kris: They’ve definitely heard your, “when in doubt use fire” thing.
Weezy: Hey! Prepare to die.
Chara: No! Kris and I are better at dodging than you and I think!
*Chara and Kris die*
Weezy: Looks like you could use some fresh air.
Chara: We could. Maybe we could fight you outside.
King dice: No.
Chara: I just realized you’re a singular die and yet your name uses the plural of the word.
Kris: It’s probably because being called “king die” would be like a red flag to who he really is. King dice sounds friendlier and creates the illusion of being someone he is not.
Chara: Woah!
King dice: Someone I’m not!?
Kris: Dice come off as something harmless and kinda fun to play with. When someone hears dice they think oh yeah they’re fun. But you're not fun, you support evil and know it. King die would say exactly what kind of person you are and make it a little harder to be fooled by you.
Chara: Wow, you’re so smart!
King dice: Shouldn’t we get back to fighting now.
Kris: I don’t know. This isn’t exactly the kinda game I’d want to play.
Chara: Wait! Why the heck do you not like this game?!
Kris: It’s a game with dice.
King dice: Wha! What do you have against dice!?
Kris: Dice resemble how control is an illusion, or at least it is in a game with dice. Also seeing the dice reminds me that my life is the same, control is just an illusion.
King dice: Just Get back to the game and roll the dice!!
Chara: We will! I’m gonna roll a two! *Rolls a one* Oh.
Kris: You sounded so disappointed.
Chara: I rolled a one. Let’s do this!!!
Kris: And there’s the unnecessary energy.
Chara: I know I love not being evil. Thanks for teaching me about it.
Kris: No problem.
Chara: Wait a second, you’re here right now, right Kris?
Kris: Yeah, I think that’s a pretty obvious thing to figure out.
Chara: And, you’re from deltarune.
Kris: Yep.
Chara: So in a way you being here makes it be a kinda fan thing for deltarune.
Kris: I guess so.
Chara: But that means there is one deltarune fan things rule that must be followed.
Kris: There is?
Chara: Oh no, Kris is evil!
Kris: What the heck! What in the world makes you think that I’m evil?!
Chara: You- you never got anything at the shop.
Kris: Neither did you! I can’t even remember if we even went to the shop.
Chara: Tipsy troop who we’ve failed to acknowledge till now, Kris is evil!!
Ginnette: Oh *hic* no Kris *hic* is!?
Ol Ethan: Oh Kris *hic* if you are *hic* evil, then *hic* Welcome aboard.
Kris: I’m not evil!
Chara: What sure you are.
Kris: I’ve been helping you this entire time! What have I done that is evil?!
Chara: Your helping me was all a ruse. I knew you were evil when you failed to bring me McDonald's fries when you first showed up to help.
Kris: Oh so that’s how it’s gonna be. If you’re salty about no fries then how about I give you a replacement meal.
Chara: Oh! What is this replacement meal?
Kris: I will betray you and proceed to serve you this no piece two sauce.
Chara: Oh so you weren’t evil and all those sus things you did were just jokes. Gotch ya.
Kris:*facepalms* Wow!!!!
Chara: Don’t worry tipsy troop Kris is back on my side. It turns out Kris was merely joking.
Tipsy troop:......................................................................................................................................
Kris: We beat them. We’ve been having this argument in front of the king dice this entire time.
King dice: Chara, you are so stupid.
Chara: Thanks I’ve been trying.
King dice: I get the feeling you two are going to be here for a long time.
Chara: Probably, but we’re not gonna give up till we win.
King dice:*With sarcasm* Great*
Chara: I know right! Persistence is key.
Kris: I thought egg was key.
Chara: That too. There are multiple keys!
Kris: I guess you’re right.
Chara: I rolled a three Kris. I did it!
Kris: Good job.
Chara: And we landed on a safe space!
Kris: Yay!
Chara: We’re going to win this!
*Chara rolls a one*
Chara: Bep and dot!!!
Kris: It thought it was pip and dot.
Chara: Not any more I’ve decided that it’s bep and dot now!
Kris: You can’t just rename people!!
Chara: Sure I can. Thousands of people did it to me so I’m sure it’s legal.
Kris: It’s not.
Chara: Then why did so many people do it to me!?
Kris: Because, They were prompted to rename you, and it made them feel more connected to you, and feel more like it was them doing the things and less like them forcing you to do things.
Chara: So…………………….huh?
Bep: You two should stop talking about that.
Dot: Yeah the child looks so confused.
Chara: Child!?
Dot: Are you not?
Chara: No I am.
Dot: Then why did you sound so insulted when I called you a child?
Chara: To make you ask questions……….And it worked!
Dot: Okay, then………….I’m gonna kill you!!!
Chara: Ahh!!
Bep: Dot, contain your murder!
Chara: Yes please contain your murder.
Dot: How dare you confuse me for the sake of confusing me!!!
Kris: Poor Bep, he has to be connected to her.
*Dot realizes they’re at 0 HP*
Dot: What, we lost? Bep it’s all your fault!!!!!!!!!
Chara: Wow he’s so abused.
Kris: Someone should try to separate them.
Chara: Yes, someone save Bep.
King dice: Bep? His name is pip.
Chara: Not anymore! I changed it.
King dice: You can’t just change someone's name.
Chara: Why not king die?
Kris: And I rolled a one.
Chara: Ay! Hocus! It’s time to see some magic tricks.
*3 minutes later*
Kris: And now you’re dead, and I’m on my own………Great.
Chara: It’s okay, just remove player one and I’ll come back.
Kris: You can’t remove player one.
Chara: What!?
Kris: Only player 2 can be removed.
Chara: So you can be removed but I can’t!?
Kris: Yes.
Chara: Oh, crazy bunny Hocus the pocus please spare us!
Kris: He’s not going to spare us.
Chara: What in the world makes you say that!?
Kris: You’re dead Chara. He won’t spare you since you already were not spared by him.
Chara: Oh. Spare Kris Hocus the pocus!!
Kris: Chara, you have extreme issues.
Chara: Take my resources, tell my story!!
Kris: You don’t have any resources, and I don’t feel like telling anyone a 7 hour long story.
Chara: Then Hocus, take my resources, tell my story.
Hocus: Okay.
Chara: Oh. Why thank you.
Kris: You have no resources to take, and you barely even know chara’s story.
Hocus: How does that stop me?
Kris: Yes.
Chara: Oh Kris you won.
Kris: Yeah, and I rolled another one, dang it.
Chara: Health up?
Kris: Oh, chara you’re back.
Chara: Yay! Thanks for the revival!
Kris: I’m so sorry.
King dice: It is a shame that you revived her.
Chara: Wait why are both of you saying that like it’s a bad thing.
*They go to phear’s area*
Phear: Oh, hey. Uh, I bet you’re going to lose.
Chara: Well I bet, you’re right.
*Phear sends a present box their way*
Kris: No that’s fine, I don’t want a present from you.
Phear: Oh.
Chara: Phear can I tell you something important?
Phear: Sure.
Chara: Phear, you taste like glass.
Phear: I taste like glass?
Chara: Yeah, exactly like glass.
Kris: How am I not surprised that you know what glass tastes like.
Phear: Yeah, It is kinda weird that you know what glass tastes like.
Chara: *Slurp*
Phear: Okay, yeah, bye, I’m out. *Leaves*
Chara: What did I do?
Kris: I don’t think he likes hearing the slurp sound after hearing you say that he tastes like glass.
Chara: Oh.
King dice: Did you lick Phear!!!?
Chara: No, but I thought about it.
King dice: Why would you think about that?!
Chara: I have strange hobbies.
Kris: Okay I got a two that time.
Chara: Oh, and that’s right over the safe space and right on the seven.
Kris: Another fight, alright let’s see who it is.
Chara: Hi! Piruletta! You’re the reason I love the smoke bomb!
Kris: Dash through your legs, and when you head back this direction dash through your legs again.
Chara: Oh yeah!
Puruletta: Seriously you’re just gonna use the smoke bomb and cheese your way to victory.
Kris: Pretty much.
Chara: We’re cheap.
Puruletta: I could tell.
Chara: Aw. Thanks so much for noticing.
Kris: Yeah, it really means a lot.
Puruletta: No problem……………………….?
Chara: Oh, I just saw your Hp, we’ve almost beat you.
Puruletta: Wait what?
Kris: Bye, we’re done playing Russian roulette.
Chara: Aww, but I thought that was your favorite game Kris.
Kris: Don’t be silly, my favorite game is scare your friends, game. I’m really good at it. Just ask Noelle.
Chara: Will do.
*They finish off puruletta*
Kris: Well let’s see if we can roll anything other than a one.
*Chara rolls a one*
Kris: It seems we can not.
Chara: Oh what a shame.
Kris: My only question is, how have we lasted for this long?
Chara: I Guess we just do better when we go about our nonsense.
Kris: Oh, That makes a lot of sense.
Chara: I guess. Anyways, hi Mango!!!
Mangosteen: Oh, hi.
Chara: You know your personality has always reminded me of a nice wonderful cupcake.
Mangosteen: Really?!
Chara: Of course! Besides I’m too dumb to lie so you know I’m telling the truth.
Mangosteen: Aww. That’s so nice of you to say.
Chara: Keep being sweet you sweet sweet named after a fruit 8 ball!
Kris: Who ever thought we’d be fighting an 8 ball just to not actually fight the 8 ball and instead befriend the 8 ball and then go on our way back to the game board.
Chara: I didn’t mainly because I didn’t think I just let the player give suggestions on what to do.
Kris: Huh.
King dice: What! How did you beat him so quickly!?
Kris: Chara told him some friendly things and he decided to be a friendly person.
King dice: Are you kidding me.
Kris: I don’t kid.
King dice: I don’t buy that.
Kris: Dang it.
Chara: Kris might kid but, yeah that is pretty much what happened.
King dice: whatever.
Kris: Alright, Chara if we can get a three…
Chara: I got a one.
Kris: Oh…………….
*They get teleported to their planes.*
Chara: We’re somehow at like 4 Hp each!
Kris: That’s a shocker.
Chara: Anyway, Mr chimes, hi!
Mr Chimes: *Demonic silence*
Chara: Okay then. Kris, why is this monkE so scary?
Kris: It’s not scary, it's unnerving. Which is why I feel in my element in this fight.
Mr chimes: *Even more demonic silence*
Kris: Come to think of it, isn’t unnerving your element too?
Chara: Not anymore. I chose to bury that version of me.
Kris: Oh cool.
Chara: So what are we trying to do here?
Kris: Uh I don’t know. The only thing I’ve figured out is that we can’t currently damage him.
Chara: Oh……….That doesn’t sound too great for us.
Kris: Oh, it’s not anywhere close to great for us.
Chara: Hm I wonder if I can parry this pink thing.
Kris: Chara, This is Cuphead, if it’s pink you can parry it.
Chara: Oh. I parried it and it turned out to be a card.
Kris: Let me try parrying one. *Parries one.*
Chara: Oh…….. I think I get it now.
Kris: We’re playing, concentration.
Chara: Oh, so make a match.
Kris: Yep.
Chara: Well by some luck we already made a match!
Kris: This thing really likes screeching.
Chara: Mr chimes if you’re going to screech this much just go join the army of screeches in that roblox game doors.
Kris: That sounds like a great idea.
Chara: I know right.
Mr chimes: *Demonic monkey screeches.*
Kris: Shut up!!
*Mr chimes shuts up*
Chara: And now it’s time for round two.
Kris: Okay, now that we’re paying attention this is easy.
Chara: And fun.
*They beat mr chimes*
Chara: How did we do that so quickly?
Kris: I think we hurt mr MonkE’s feelings when we weren’t scared of him and treated him like a joke.
Chara: That’s probably it.
Kris: Anyways we just have to roll anything other than one and we win.
Chara: Okay! Come on two, be a two.
*Rolls a one*
Kris: Are you for real right now!
King dice: Oh well, guess you’ll have to start over now.
Kris: No!
King dice: Too bad. Wait, what in the world is Chara doing over in the corner?
Chara: I’m working!
King dice: On what?
Chara: It’s a secret.
Kris: Okay you do whatever it is you’re doing. You’re banned from rolling the dice anyway.
Chara: Okay, I’m also almost done with what I’m doing.
Kris: Alright then.
*Kris rolls a one*
Kris: Another one!!!! One is the worst number!!!!
Chara: Time for more tipsy troop!!
Kris:*Sighs in agony*
*They load into the new area*
King dice: Wait, where is the tipsy troop?! They’re supposed to be here fighting you two!
Chara: You fool!!! We got over our addictions! They can no longer harm us! Also I entered the game files and moved everyone spaces 1-9 to isle one.
King dice: You got rid of them.
Chara: Pretty much.
Kris: So that’s what you were doing in the corner.
Chara: Yep.
King dice: I guess that means I have to fight you now.
Kris: Why?
Chara: Yeah, we beat your game.
King dice: There’s one last part to this game, defeat me!
Chara: Okay.
Kris: Should be easy.
King dice: Don’t be so quick to judge.
Chara: Sorry, I’m too rash for that.
Kris: Yeah.
*King dice sends out his many cards*
Kris: See, easy!
King dice: What!
Chara: This is easy as long as we can parry.
Kris: Parrying enemy attacks is probably the only thing we can do consistently.
Chara: Wow are we actually that bad at this game!?
Kris: Yeah, it’s incredible that we made it this far.
Chara: Wow!
???: Knockout!!!
Chara: We won!!
Kris now it’s just that no good Mr king of peck left to beat up.
Chara: Heck yeah!!!
*They go into his office*
Devil: Oh so you beat up all those debtors and got their souls. Good job now, hand them over and join my side.
Chara: Yeah, but like what if we don’t feel like it.
Devil: Excuse me!?
Kris: We heard that you only lead to misery.
Chara: Yeah, and misery doesn’t sound so good, so I don’t wanna join your side.
Devil: Then I guess you’ll have to be destroyed.
Kris: Yeah, no we don’t feel like getting destroyed.
Chara: If you keep up with that attitude we’ll have to ban you.
Devil: What! You can’t ban me!
*A popup pop’s up*
*Back up in his office*
Chara: We did it!
*They throw the contracts into a fire*
Kris: A little bit of peck fire sure did do the trick.
Chara: Now everyone’s free.
Kris: Yep. Now let’s get home. I have work in the morning.
Chara: Okay!
The end