Chapter Text
The next day when Cee came home, she skipped dinner and went straight to bed. She’d been running on only a few hours of sleep but managed to remember to go to a pharmacy.
When she woke up the following morning she was starving. She made herself cereal and toast to conquer her hunger. At around seven-thirty Ezra walked out of his room and joined her at the dining table. They had not spoken to each other since their night together. He was shirtless and walked barefoot in those damn grey sweatpants.
Ezra did not speak to her as he sat down. He simply picked up his pistol and started to clean it. Ezra was usually forthcoming with his words so Cee expected him to say something - anything. She interpreted his silence as regret. Now that he had slept on it, maybe he had an attack of guilt. Cee desperately wanted to scream out If I mean so much to you then fucking say something!
“Sleep well?” Cee uttered, slightly short with him. If he wasn’t going to mention anything neither was she.
“As well as I could. I was lonely. I thought maybe you might have joined me. Guess that was just wishful thinking on my part,” he sighed now looking up into her eyes.
Instantly Cee’s frustration vanished. His brown puppy dog eyes were powerful enough to make her forget about his career and any crimes he had committed. When he looked at her like that, he was only a troubled guy who needed help.
“Tomorrow is the weekend and you’ll have me all to yourself for two cycles. You’re looking in need of a cozy movie night,” Cee smiled. Just thinking about spending time together as friends made Cee feel more at ease. The thought of becoming too serious too soon terrified her.
“Are you sure this isn’t all a ploy to get in my pants?” he teased.
“I’m still recovering from Wednesday night,” she laughed. “Rest assured I won’t be making any moves on you.”
And she didn’t. She should have foreseen Ezra making moves though. From sitting in between his legs, he teased his hand into her underwear. The plot of the film went out of the window when he started to finger-fuck her. She ended up with her underwear and pants pulled down to her knees with two fingers inside her and the palm of his hand nudging her clit with every thrust. With every sexual encounter they had, Cee grew more confident in using her voice. He turned her into a moaning mess with just one hand. Ezra felt very proud when Cee moved and there was a little wet patch on the couch. Ezra then spent the rest of the film repeatedly bringing his hand up to his nose to sniff then when he was done, licked up the drying juices.
Cee thought it was incredible how well Ezra had adapted to life post-amputation. As he said when she was cutting it off, he was losing his primary weapon. He was now able to fire a gun accurately and turn a woman into a squealing mess with just five fingers. When Cee asked him about how he killed his targets, he stated that his sweet talk did most of the work and being able to quickly shoot a silenced gun was secondary.
Things between them blossomed beautifully. Ezra and Cee would say the most romantic things to each other then fuck with fiery passion. The L word hadn’t been mentioned yet but Cee could tell they were close to it. The love she had for him had changed through the years; from the ‘I’m grateful you helped me survive’ love to ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you’ love. Living in the Fringe, their relationship wasn’t seen as a big taboo. It made Cee grateful that they never made it back to Central. She could imagine the looks they would get from strangers if they walked hand in hand on a more sophisticated planet. But here in the Fringe anything went. You could walk down the street and see women completely naked in the windows of brothels. Walking through a park in the evening, you could see guys forcing girls to suck their cocks, sometimes with a weapon to their heads.
A few months had passed and Cee could feel herself getting sick. She had a sore throat which she knew always led to a cold. She wanted something comforting so went into Ezra’s room to find a hoodie or shirt of his that she could wear. She opened and closed his drawers one by one to find something good. She wanted a shirt he didn’t wear too often so she could leave him with his day to day essentials. When searching, her eye caught a glimpse of something that looked out of place. She reached the bottom of the drawer and saw a collection of her underwear.
What a pervert. She knew he enjoyed the smell of her, but didn’t know her wardrobe was being raided for it. Cee could imagine him holding her panties when he went to bed by himself and laughed at the mental image. She sorted through his collection and her smile soon left her face.
He had underwear she had not seen in years. Years. Underwear from when she was at school. A pair from before she joined school that she had owned before the Green.
Fuck.
When she started school she knew she had clothes missing. Now she understood why. He must have been taking them from their dirty laundry basket because they were all used. The gusset of them all hard and crusty from her old discharge, although she supposed that some of it could be from him if he was using them for what Cee thought. She took them all out and laid them on his bed to present him with when he came home.
She sat on his bed and waited for him to arrive home. “Birdie,” he called as he came through the front door of the apartment. When he didn’t hear a response he checked her bedroom, then his bedroom to find her sat on his bed surrounded by his personal collection.
“Care to explain yourself?” Cee challenged.
“What do you want to know? You are a very smart woman. Surely you know what this all is?” he retaliated. He didn’t want to explain himself, it would be too embarrassing, too shameful. He would let her interpret what she liked.
“I would still like to hear it from your mouth. The pair from the first time we had sex, I can understand that. That was fairly recent, but,” she tried to compose herself for her next point. “You have underwear from when I was at school. You have the panties I was wearing on the Green.” Cee tried to keep her voice calm. “Is that how long you’ve wanted me?”
Ezra knew Cee deserved to hear the truth, even if it would kill him to tell her.
“You know what the Fringe is like. It has the power to change a man beyond recognition. Your feelings for me have made you develop rose tinted glasses. I think all things considered, things could have ended up a lot worse for you.”
“What the fuck is that meant to mean?”
“I could have raped you!” He ranted. “I didn’t. I wouldn’t.” His voice went softer. “The Sater would have raped you given the chance. They would have tied you there and used you one by one until their seed took. I may have had impulses but I would have never done that. I knew I needed to protect you, even protect you from myself.”
Cee knew he was right. Men in the Fringe were beasts.
“Do you want a round of applause for not fucking a minor? Well done, you did the impossible. You managed to keep your dick in your environment suit,” she mocked.
Cee wondered if the Fringe had the same effect on females. She wasn’t on the Green long enough to find out but her current planet wasn’t the best either. Still in the Fringe, she wondered if her morals would be different if she lived on Central. Maybe if she spent her teenage years there, the thought of her partner being a paid hitman would disgust her. Perhaps she would catch feelings for a decent boy her own age and not her fathers killer.
“Did you find me attractive? Or was it just the thought of a hot, wet hole that made you want me?” Cee pressed.
“You are the most beautiful woman who has ever lived. From a girl to a woman, your beauty has left me speechless.” Fuck Ezra. Fuck Ezra and his ability to always make me like him. He always showered Cee in compliments, it had been turned up a notch since their union. Cee would fall asleep with Ezra whispering sweet nothings to her, making the butterflies in her stomach do a gymnastics routine.
“I thought you were attractive too,” she admitted. “Still do.”
As much as she hated to admit it: Ezra on the Green oozed sex. He was tall, confident, caring, strong, hot as hell.
“Maybe we are as fucked up as each other,” she announced.
“Maybe,” Ezra echoed. He knew it wasn’t true but went along with Cee’s way to justify all this to herself.
“You want to know why I know that’s true?” Cee asked after hearing Ezra’s hesitation in his voice. “Because I think I would have fucked you too. That isn’t normal is it? A normal person doesn’t think about their fourteen year old self fucking a murderer.” Cee thought back on what she had said during their first time having sex together, she really would have let him touch her, lick her.
Ezra was gobsmacked. When they discussed this during their first time, he assumed she said what she did due to the heat of the moment. He didn’t know if she really thought this or if she was just trying to bring herself down to his level. The look in her eyes made him believe she was telling the truth.
“Show me what you did with these.” Cee picked up a pair of underwear and threw them at him.
“What do you mean birdie?”
“How did you use them for your pleasure? Show me.”
If Cee wanted to see, Ezra would put on a show. All the talk about having sex on the Green had made him hot-blooded. He sat down on the bed and began to strip completely naked. Cee moved to the edge of the bed to look on like an audience member.
He picked up her fourteen your old self’s panties and held them to his nose. He loudly inhaled and exhaled.
“Smell good?” Cee smirked.
“Unreal. I bet you would have tasted so sweet.”
He then took the crumpled up fabric and took it to his half hard cock. Giving it a few strokes was enough for him to become fully erect. He put his cock through the leg holes of the garment and used it to pump his length.
Cee found the sight and sounds of Ezra very erotic. She slipped her hand down the front of her jeans and began to rub her clit. At one point they made eye contact with each other - just staring at each others faces emote pleasure.
“You love looking at my big cock don’t you? You like to think about how it feels inside you. You always take it so well for me like a good girl.”
Cee should have known Ezra wouldn’t do this silently. He loved the sound of his own voice.
“Take me. Take my cock deep inside you where it belongs. I wanna fill you up and pump you full of my come.” This wasn’t just him jerking off, he was doing a performance for Cee.
Cee loved the way his words always brought her closer to orgasm. Along with his grunts, Cee could close her eyes and come from his sounds alone.
“You want to fuck my tight little pussy?” Cee whimpered, overcome with arousal.
“Yes yes. I want to paint your insides with my seed.” Cee reminded herself this was why she had been fitted with the coil. Ezra loved coming inside her and honestly, she enjoyed it too.
“You would make such a pretty mommy.” He moved his eyes back to hers. “I want you to have my babies. I think about it all the fucking time.”
Cee’s eyes went wide. Her brain was now thinking up images of them with a family. It was beautiful enough to make her eyes water.
‘Kevva, fuck.” Ezra choked out. He moved the underwear from around his cock and moved it back to rest on his face.
Soon Cee lost it and came from her fingers, tears spilling down her face as she did. She was glad Ezra now had his eyes shut so he couldn’t see her wipe away her tears.
Ezra’s grunts sped up along with the pace of his fist. It wasn’t long before he was spilling his load over his tummy and chest. Once he had finished, he picked up his t-shirt and used it to clean up his skin. He didn’t bother getting dressed again. It wasn’t as though he needed to hide his body from Cee; it was his home so if he wanted to lounge around naked he would.
Cee moved to the head of the bed to lay next to him. She picked up his hand and laced her fingers with his.
“Do you really want a family?” Cee asked.
“It is just a fantasy I’ve always had. I know that it will never happen now, but it’s a nice dream,” Ezra lamented, raising the stump on his right arm and looking at it.
“It doesn’t have to just be a fantasy. Who told you that you can’t become a father just because you have one arm?” Cee tried to reason with him. If he thought his disability was a cause not to have kids, he was mistaken.
“Birdie, I would be the galaxy’s worst dad,” he rationalised. He didn’t want to bring another person into the galaxy with daddy issues.
“I think you would be a great dad. My dad was a drug addict who only cared about money. I’m sure that if we had a run in with The Sater, he would have sold me off to be their new mother.” Cee knew that if they were to offer him a years worth of sedatives, she would have been forced to birth at least four kids by now. “When it comes to shit dads, I’m an expert. And I know you wouldn’t be one. Children don’t care about how many hands their parents have, they only care about if they feel loved and wanted.”
Ezra supposed Cee was right. He guessed in time they would find out if his worries were valid.
“When I turn twenty-seven I give you permission to get me pregnant,” Cee declared.
Ezra was stunned that she would come out with such a bold statement. It was as though she had already decided their future for them.
“Why twenty-seven?”
“It seems like a good grown up age. I can’t wait too long or you’ll need a zimmer frame to walk around,” she joked, nudging him in the side.