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Bucky hates Costco. It's an epitome of everything Bucky avoids: mass groups of people all enclosed and smashed together with too little space, and the cold.
Normally Sam or Sarah goes with him. Well, normally he goes with Sam or Sarah, following either of them, picking up heavy stuff, looking through some of the clothes there with Sam commenting on how Bucky will rip though it cause the fabric's cheap. But Sam's on a mission and Sarah's at bank meeting. He hasn't gone to Costco by himself before, he has his service dog with him, but he still feels a little bit alone. Bucky's been to other stores by himself before: Target is easier to deal with, with the self checkout and everything; the technology makes Best Buy not feel real to him; he also hates Walmart, for similar reasons as he hates Costco.
There are a few requirements that Bucky has for going places. Having a pair of headphones and earbuds in his bag, phone, clicker, wallet, gloves and layers of jackets and long sleeves over a tank. And his service dog, Themba, who was gifted to him by Shuri a little after the whole Flag Smasher deal, after Sam suggested he get a service animal or just another pet in general. So here he is: headphones on, blasting a mix of The Andrew Sisters, Imagine Dragons, Glen Miller, Marvin Gaye, and Queen, at a volume much too loud to be safe- pushing a shopping cart through lines of people left and right.
Bucky has a list of stuff to get, the general stuff they always get from Costco: multiple boxes of pancake and biscuit mixes, lots of bread and rolls, coffee in those weird little containers, dry oatmeal, paper towels and toiletries, detergent and trash bags, this hyper specific cashew nut cluster thing for Sam, a variety snack box for AJ and Cass, a popcorn chip variety box for Sarah, maybe a new pair of gloves or a hat if Costco has any at this time of the year. And of course, the stuff Bucky left for the end: everything in the Fresh Produce and Dairy sections. Both of which are, in essence, two massive walk in fridges. Which is... more than enough stress for Bucky.
He's methodical. Finding what's closest to the entrance, then so on and so on- leaving anything frozen or in those forsaken walk-in freezers. His service dog jumped up a few times, once when Bucky was stuck staring at box of popcorn with his leg jittering and his heart rate picking up, after Bucky almost hit a kid, who had ran out from an isle. Later, when Bucky was shaking while a lady was yelling into her phone down the isle and a few people awkwardly rushed behind him knocking over some plastic containers of nuts or beans, Bucky hadn't turned around to check.
By the time Bucky checked almost everything off, he was ready to go home and pass out on one of the porch chairs and sleep for a century. But he still had to get the frozen food and the lettuce and the berries and the grapes and the cheese and the milk. Bucky felt his chest tighten in thought of going into one of the walk-in fridges, he turned the volume on his headphones louder.
As he finally arrived at the freezers, he waited for there to be less people inside the Dairy area. Looking at some of the baked goods as he routinely checked. When there was finally less people, he left the cart off to the side and walked in.
His vibranium arm feels heavy, pulling at the scar tissue and the surrounding shoulder joint. The frigid air stings his cheeks and nose. He can see his breath form in front of him, he's not at Cos- the milk just get the milk. Was it supposed to be 2% or fat free? It should be a simple question, they get the same milk everytime- its the purple cap. Bucky picks up one of the plastic jugs and turns to leave- he didn't check the expiration date, Bucky stops and checks, its fine. Was that everything he needed from here? Yeah- it was. Now to go to the other walk-in fridge. Bucky wants to take a nap. Or go to the boat. Or take a nap on the boat.
He needs to get out of here.
The walk to the Fresh Produce section felt like Bucky's was walking for miles but also feels like he just stepped out of the Dairy section and immediately into the Fresh Produce. Themba tugs back on her harness, trying to pull Bucky back. He feels like he isn't in control of his body. He feels like he's on autopilot. The cold reminds he of when he was- Themba is in front of him suddenly. And is jumping at Bucky. He should call Sam- no, he can do this. Bucky crouches down and pets Themba's head before taking a deep breath, he closes his eyes when he exhales. He doesn't need to see his breath freeze in the air, again.
Bucky opens his eyes and looks at Themba who's looking up at him. He can do this- he needs to grab lettuce, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and grapes. He can do that. Lettuce, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, grapes, lettuce, strawberries, raspberries, blackber- There is a loud thump from behind that Bucky feels through the floor before he recognises the new sound. Somebody's kid dropped a box of something liquid and white-
*-he watched as warm-*
-which just makes Bucky think of something he really doesn't want to think about in a hyper public setting with the closest exit across the entire store. He blinks the blurry scene away, or he tries to.
*-dripped off his chin and splatter on the already stained floor-*
It's almond milk, its just a kid who dropped a box of almond milk. When did almond milk come in boxes- Themba's jumping, front paws coming up to hit Bucky's hip, telling him to look at Themba. A person is yelling now, probably the kid's parent or something. Right, Themba. What does the name mean again? Bucky remembers the video call of Shuri telling him.
(all of below intalisised besides Themba)
"White Wolf," she smiles, "Themba means "trust", "hope", "faith". Do you want to know why I chose the name?"
"Sure, Shuri." Bucky replied, also smiling. He's kneeling, hands in soft warm fur.
"Because, I trust you and I have hope that you will have joy in your life again. And that I have faith in you. Did you see what I did there, a little word play-" she snickers at the end. So does Bucky.
"I don't know that to say, Shuri..." Bucky looks back down at the soft fluffy light grey and white border collie.
"Well, a thank you would be nice." Shuri jokes.
"You know you have my thanks, you always will." Bucky looks back up at her. Shuri pauses, her head slightly tilting to the left before she speaks again.
"I'd recommend reading the email I sent you, it has info on service dogs and how to put the harness on Themba." Shuri smiles softly at James. He hasn't stopped smiling.
"I will, thank you again."
"You better send me photos of Themba, she's so adorable."
"I'll take lots of photos, Shuri."
(end italics)
"Thank you, Themba..." Bucky murmurs, gloved hands still buried in Themba's soft greyish brown fur. Bucky stays like that for a moment. It's okay, he doesn't have to be on alert, he just has to grab a few items and check ou-
*-people were entering and exiting the room, all he could do was watch and put on a show. Then maybe, if he was good, they'd-*
Themba pushed Bucky back, his back now leaning against a stack of cardboard boxes. Themba clambers onto Bucky's lap. He knows why- deep pressure therapy- or whatever Shuri emailed him. It feels nice, gentle weight and warmth-
*-he pushed him down, hands wandering up and down his hips and- maybe that would feel nice if he wan-*
Themba looks up at Bucky with her wide yellowy grey eyes. Bucky wants to take a shower, a very hot shower.
*-There was a mirror, he'd guess it was a two way. Who knew how many-*
Bucky still doesn't know how many people could have been watching. He'll probably never know.
He's still in Costco. And a few people are staring, they're trying to make it look like they aren't- but Bucky can feel their stares. He gently nudges Themba off of him and stands slowly. People are looking at him either because he's wearing way to many layers for a New Orleans's summer or because he's been sittin on the floor inside of a Costco freezer with a fluffy dog, who's wearing a lot of service dog/war vet/do not touch labels, on his lap or both.
He cracks his knuckles and looks at the list in his hand. Right, lettuce, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and grapes. Bucky can do this. Fuck, he hates Costco.
Bucky doesn't remember grabbing any of those items. He just knows that he's now in the clothes area with lettuce, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and grapes in his cart. He looks down at Themba who's standing looking at him. She blinks. Bucky blinks.
He's so tired. He wants to take a nap or shower, or go swimming with Cass and AJ and Sam. He gets to the checkout, he has to choose: self-checkout and scan all the stuff himself, or deal with talking with someone. He goes to the self-checkout area.
He's scanned all the items, he pays, and walks to the exit, pushing the cart in front of him. He gets to the truck. Opens the passenger for Themba to jump into. He can't drive himself back to Delacroix, he doesn't trust himself to. Especially with Themba in the passenger seat. Bucky half shoves, half drops the groceries in the back of the cab. He half-heartedly plops into the driver's seat. Themba steps over and into the empty cup holders and nudges her head on Bucky's shoulder.
"Good dog, good dog..." Bucky mutters, hands reaching over to pet her. So soft and fluffy. Bucky closes his eyes. It's just him, James Buchanan Barnes, 32557038 T41 42, and his dog, Themba. Who was given to him by Shuri, princess and daughter of Queen Ramonda, Queen of Wakanda. He's in Sam's truck, it's a Dodge Ram 1500 classic, it's grey. He's currently in a Costco parking lot, in New Orleans, about an hour drive from Sarah's house in Delacroix. Sam is somewhere in Ohio- or he should be. He might be back already.
His phone is ringing. OH. Someone's calling him. He pauses his music and sets his headphones over his leg. It's Sam.
"Bucky- you ok?" A worried voice blares from Bucky's phone.
"Hi to you too. I'm fine, how'd the mission go." Bucky tries to change the subject to something else.
"Ya sent me your location, no context." Bucky didn't know he did that.
Silence.
"You're at Costco an I know Sarah ain't with you." Bucky can hear the wind over the call, Sam's flying.
"Bucky. Are you ok? Talk to me."
"I'm... Tired." Bucky takes a deep breath.
"I had a rough time, at Costco... I got the groceries." Bucky states, voice dull and monotone.
"Themba with you?"
"Yea, she is. She helped. She's a good dog." Bucky swallows, his throat dry.
"Hell yes she is." Bucky can hear the grin in his voice. It makes him smile a little.
"Want me to come pick you up or are ya good driving yourself back home, Buck?"
Bucky doesn't reply, he sits in thought. He doesn't fully trust himself to drive, but he feels much better than he did now that he's not in Costco anymore. Themba halfway on Bucky, halfway on the seat. His hands still brushing and petting her fur.
"Bucky? You can text me your answer or tap something near the phone if saying words is too much." Sam says, voice full of calm and quiet worry. Bucky grabs his back and digs around until he sees the purple-magenta clicker. Bucky taps the letter 'Y' out.
"Ok, do you want me to come pick you up? I could get there in about 20mins give or take." The wind noise gets stronger, meaning that Sam's either going faster or is going through some rougher weather. Bucky taps long-short-long-long again.
"Ok, I'll see you soon Bucky. Do you want the call to stay on until I get there?" Sam askes, Sam always asks that when Bucky's having a bad time. He taps one long then one short, 'N'.
"Got it. Love you, Buck." Bucky flushes lightly. He taps, short-short-long, pauses, then taps, short-short-long-long-long: u2. Sam hangs up. Bucky turns the truck on enough to play the radio. It's the radio that Bucky heard about from letters of honourably discharged vets during the war. Some of them got hired by the company when they got back to the states. It's nice music. It's streaming from his phone to the truck's speakers.
He sits there. Listening to music, it's a Beatles song, "Julia" He remembers Rhodey talking about The Beatles. Themba moves back to sit the passenger's seat, resting her paws on the cupholders, face towards Bucky. He reaches down to pet her head. The next song is "I Hate the Beatles" by Sofia Valdes, Bucky can't help but let out a small laugh at the irony. Or maybe someone chose to play that song right after the Beatles song. Either way it appeals to Bucky's messed up sense of humour.
It isn't long before Sam shows up. Dropping out of the sky, n his Captain America suit, into an emptier section of parking lot. Sam walks over to his truck and knocks on his window. Bucky rolls the window down.
"Hey Bucky, ya wanna get out of my seat?" He says smiling, leaning against the truck on his forearms. Bucky smiles.
"Yeah yeah, lemme get out first." Bucky says while pushing the door open. Bucky walks over to the passenger side, and scoops Themba into his arms before sitting down.
"You good with a face full of dog, Bucky?" Sam askes with a laugh following. Bucky tilts his head down eyes meeting Themba's.
"I'm good, Sam. I just want to go home. Take a nap or go to the boat." Bucky murmurs into Themba's fur as his lowers his head more.
"Alright Bucky. Let's go to the boat, you can take a nap there. Cass and AJ have some friends over, so it's loud. That ok?" Sam askes as he starts the engine and reverses out. Bucky hums in agreement.
The drive to the boat is nice. Sam put in a few Marvin Gaye CD's, the windows are down, Themba's poking her head out the window slightly, Sam singing or humming along with the music, it's nice. Bucky closes his eyes, arms wrapped around Themba, head leaning against her, he feels warm.
When Bucky wakes up, it's Sam softly rubbing his knuckles against his shoulder, his vibrainium one. Sam's hand goes down and up his arm, it's nice. Sam's not in his suit anymore, he's in a grey henly and shorts. He looks nice, he always looks nice.
"Hey old man, we're at the boat." Sam whispers. Bucky groans, head leaning back then side to side.
"I'm gonna open your door and let Themba out, then we're gonna go to the boat and lay down. Okay, Bucky?" Sam says while backing out of the truck. He does exactly what he said he would do: he opens the door, Themba jumps down and now the two are walking down to the dock.
"I made the boat nice and comfy, lots of blankets and pillows, a cooler with iced tea and beer and snacks." Sam tells Bucky. The two step onto the boat and go below deck and Sam wasn't lying. There a mass of blankets and pillows in one corner where the fold out mattress is and right next the that is a medium sized cooler. Sam kneels to take off Themba's harness, she wanders over to her dog bed, does a circle in it before laying down.
Sam walks over to the bed and flops onto the pile. Turning and twisting his body to maneuver around, before settling in a comfortable looking position.
"Come over here honey." Sam askes, a hand out for Bucky. A soft smile gracing Sam's face. Bucky toes off his shoes and shrugs off his jacket before padding over to Sam and sitting down. Sam pulls him back gently so Sam's wrapping his body around Bucky's, their legs entwined together, their arms around each other, Bucky can feel Sam's body rise and fall with his breath. This is nice.
"Did you wanna talk about it?" Sam whispers against Bucky's shirt.
"I will, just, not right now." Bucky takes a breath.
"I just wanna be here, with you. Sammy." Bucky stretches then relaxes again, pulling Sam further on top of him. The two hold each other. Because it's just them. Just the two of them.
And Themba.
Who will later join the two after a few hours. Sam will be woken up by a fluffy mess breathing on his face. He'll tell his beloved Buck that his 'hella fluffy' dog is breathin down his face. Bucky will smile sleepily as he nudges Themba off his chest while pulling Sam back on his chest. Themba will curl around Bucky's metal arm and Sam will lean up to kiss Bucky's forehead.
"I love you Bucky."
"I love you too, Sam."