Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

All love letters are

Ridiculous.

They would not be love letters if they were not

Ridiculous.

(...)

 

But, after all,

Only the creatures that never wrote

Love letters

Are the ones that are

Ridiculous.

 

All Love Letters are Ridiculous

Fernando Pessoa

 

Memory was a selective thing, Hanbin had learned. If he couldn’t remember what he had had for breakfast that morning, on the other hand, no matter how much time passed, some things simply couldn’t be erased from his mind with that same ease. WInning a spot in the group, the first time he met their fans, that one time when he was a teen and had the first real fight with his parents, or even the time he hid under the school benches and had the words I like you repeated back to him in a whisper. Fleeting, lasting things. 

Technically, the memories Hanbin had collected in these couple of days holed up with Hao in this apartment shouldn’t have a place among the shelter of things he’d choose to keep, but memories couldn’t really be controlled, and so, some things he kept. 

Sunlight filtering through the curtains and falling on Hao’s face, the soft locks of his hair tickling Hanbin’s chest. The green wool of his stolen sweater and how it felt under Hanbin’s fingertips. Silly things that had no business taking up space in Hanbin’s mind. 

They were showering this time, after their dinner had been interrupted by one of Hao’s heat waves and Hanbin had had to drag them to the bedroom in a rush before the idea of just throwing the food on the floor and having Hao on the dining table started to become too appealing. 

At this rate, Hanbin was getting used to Hao’s likes and dislikes in bed, what made him moan louder or thrash against the sheets. And yet. 

“I think you should try that look for our next comeback,” Hao suggested, tilting his head to the side so he could eye his work of art with more deliberation. Steam spiraled in circles around his frame. The shower head hit Hanbin’s back as he tried to keep his head away from the pouring water. 

“Somehow, I have the feeling our fans won’t like this very much,” Hanbin answered with one eyebrow raised, unamused. Shampoo was starting to slip down the corners of his face. Some of it drizzled through his forehead, and it would have hit his eyes, if not for Hao’s attentiveness in rubbing it off and stopping it from burning Hanbin’s vision. “Thanks. Can I wash my mohawk now?” 

Hao cood. “But you look so cute. I think you should bring this back to style.”

“This was never in style, hyung. No one could ever make this work.” 

“If no one made this work before, it was because you are meant to be the first.”

Hanbin looked at him unimpressed. It was clear that Hao was trying to, very unsuccessfully if Hanbin had a say in it, suppress a smile. The corners of his lips pressed together, naked and bony shoulders hunching close to his ears, before a full blown smile took his whole face by storm, and he threw his head back in an obnoxious cackle. 

“I’m washing this,” Hanbin informed, and this time a hint of amusement might have been able to escape his unwavering façade. “And you should know it’s your turn to wash your head next, okay, Mister?” 

At that, the sound of Hao’s boisterous laughter rang even louder. Hanbin forgot he was supposed to wash away the shampoo, and was planted beneath the water, a little bit lost, a little bit like he’d been struck by lightning, until the shampoo caught his eyes, and he had to close them shut to protect himself from the sting. 

Yet. 

Despite that part of Hao in bed that made Hanbin insane, there was something incredibly endearing about this fun and softer version of him too. Hanbin didn’t need his memory to choose to keep this moment. Hanbin would choose to keep this fleeting and lasting thing all by himself. 

A finger jabbed at Hanbin’s back in quick succession. “Seven, eight, nine, ten… eleven! Eleven moles on your back,” Hao exclaimed, done with his counting. 

“So that’s another tie,” Hanbin murmured, turning his head on the pillow so that he could look at Hao from where laid on his stomach on the bed.

“You should stop copying me,” Hao poked the cheek that wasn’t squeezed against the pillows. “It’s getting annoying.” 

“I can’t help it. It's a soulmate thing,” Hanbin said, reaching for Hao’s prodding and irritating finger. Not protesting, Hao simply let his hand be guided to rest on Hanbin’s grasp. 

“The correct term is true mates,” Hao mentioned, using his other, free hand, to annoy Hanbin further, digging repeatedly on the side of Hanbin’s squishy face. 

Sometimes, Hao got into one of those moods where he needed attention, as if he were a flower that would wilt and die if he didn’t receive the amount of care he thought he deserved. The Leo diva in him begged to get either looked at or listened to, or held. More often than not, Hanbin was the victim of his insistent tugging and frequent whines. This time was no different. 

“ Ah !” Hanbin laughed, trying to, very unsuccessfully if he said so himself, roll on the bed and run away from Hao’s jabs. “What do you want now, hyung?” 

“Pay attention to me,” Hao pouted from where he sat, looking at Hanbin from above. 

“I’m always paying attention to you.”

“Not enough,” Hao flicked his forehead and Hanbin winced with a small ‘ouch’ .

“How come?” Hanbin let slide, with a gaze too soft and voice meek. “You’re all I ever notice.”

He ran a thumb over the back of Hao’s hand. 

“Such pretty words coming from such a lying mouth,” Hao traced the profile of Hanbin’s face, grazing the pointy tip of his nose and letting his forefinger stop on the plush surface of Hanbin’s lips. “Aren’t you embarrassed, Sung Hanbin?” he whispered. Then, as if struck by reality, he took his arm back with a jerk. 

Hanbin sat too. “I’ve never lied to you, hyung.” 

There was no blanket to cover his nudity, but, at this point in time, neither Hanbin nor Hao felt embarrassed by the sight anymore. 

“Yes, you do,” Hao scoffed, looking at the other side of the room, out of the window. “All the time,” he murmured under his breath. 

“I don’t. I notice you the most out of everyone.”

And suddenly Hanbin felt too exposed, like he had revealed too much of his inner thoughts, and that Hao would realize the depth of Hanbin’s affections for him, how they ran like magma under the Earth: scaldingly hot and all-encompassing. 

Hao shook his head. “Then I don’t know how you can notice so much and still be so blind.” Their connected hands prickled with electricity. 

Hanbin felt like a fish out of the water. Mind drawing a blank, no response came to him quick enough, until, curving in half, Hao cried painfully, clutching his own belly. His strong jasmine scent spread in waves through the bedroom. Before he even said anything, instinct made Hanbin reach for him. 

“ Fuck, hurts. I think it’s starting again,” Hao huffed out, shutting his eyelids and clenching his jaw in a sharp pang. His back went up and down as he drew in labored pants. “ Hanbinnie,” he whined as he drew his gaze to the alpha. The clouded expression on his face contrasted with the hunger on his eyes. 

“Just stay on your back, hyung,” Hanbin merely said, already spreading a hand on the flat of Hao’s abs and pressing him down onto the mattress, as he got on top of him. Hao cried, twitching in anguished pain. “Don’t worry about anything, now,” he murmured, eyes closing as he pressed a kiss to Hao’s soft and plush lips. 

Fitting himself between the smooth expanses of Hao’s thighs, flat chest against flat chest, Hanbin fucked into him. The legs on his waist ground Hanbin as he pounded, deep and hard, into his mess of an omega. 

It was easier to lose himself in the heavy coil in his stomach, on Hao’s nonstop whimpers, than to think about the implications of what that sentence meant. Then I don’t know how you can notice so much and still be so blind.

Hanbin wasn’t blind. He was just too good at willfully ignoring the signs of heartbreak. The heat and the doctor had messed with Hao’s perceptions of reality. Hanbin wouldn’t take advantage of that, and he wouldn’t hope to think that this - them - meant for Hao anything more than this: mingled breaths, the slap of skin on skin, their combined scents. (And then he stubbornly refused to think about the fit of their hands - same size, same shape, and how much it felt like home). 

Hao dropped his head on Hanbin's shoulder and hid on his neck, wrapping his arms around the younger boy’s abdomen. The smell of food spread in the air, as Hanbin tried to cook with a koala hanging off of him and through the steam rising from the pan. “Is it ready?”  

“Hyung,” Hanbin said, trying to ignore how Hao nosed the juncture of his shoulders. “It’s ramyeon. Wait a couple of minutes and I promise you you’ll be able to dig in.”

“It’s not just ramyeon, you liar,” Hao whined, pointing at the boiling water, affronted. “There’s spinach in here too!”

“Which only takes a couple of minutes in hot water to be cooked. And spinach is a good source of protein, it’ll nourish you well. By the way, how many glasses of water have you had today?”

“How should I know?” Hao murmured in his ear, drawing an involuntary shiver out of Hanbin. “All I can think about is your dick in my – “

“We’re eating. Don’t be crass when we’re eating,” Hanbin cut him off, making circular movements to mix the spinach and refusing to acknowledge the red tips of his ears. The puff of a breath fell on his skin. 

“Fine. I’m hungry ,” Hao complained, sagging against Hanbin and losing his seductive aura in a second. 

“There’s fruit in the fridge, I cut them for you earlier,” Hanbin said, busy with cooking even though there was a dead weight on his back. “Eat some, you need vitamins too. And water,” he added, turning off the stove as the noodles seemed to be sufficiently cooked. “Drink one more glass as well.”

Hao planted a kiss on Hanbin’s cheek with a loud smack. The sudden affection was a surprise Hanbin didn’t mind. The gesture made his mouth curl up in a small smile. 

It was hard to move around the kitchen while he was being squeezed into someone’s arms, but Hanbin was nothing if not an overachiever. He trudged around to grab their bowls, dragging a needy Hao behind him. 

“But you’re the one taking care of me,” Hao complained. “You should be the one feeding me fruits and giving me water.” 

‘I don’t think this is how it works, hyung,” Hanbin shook his head, as he shared the ramyeon between two portions. The big brother spirit in him saw it fit to, almost imperceptibly, give Hao the biggest portion, like he always did with his younger sister. “I think you just like me spoiling you.”

“Mhm,” Hao hummed, squeezing his arms in the middle of Hanbin’s torso so much it started to hurt. “Maybe,” he conceded, letting go of Hanbin at last. “But you like spoiling me, so I think we’re a good match,” he said, snatching the bowl Hanbin had picked for himself and sauntering away with a rueful grin, as if he knew Hanbin had been planning to let him eat more all along. He sat on the wobbly dining chair, kicking his feet underneath the table, seeming giddy that he was able to end Hanbin’s plans before they could come to fruition. 

“Ah!” 

“You’re doing so well, such a pretty omega for me,” Hanbin panted as he thrust up, encouraging Hao to ride him. His hands held firmly into Hao’s hips, acting both as support for his weight and guidance for his moves. 

The skin of his back was raw and sore. It was a habit of Hao to scratch or grip something whenever he reached his ecstasy, so this position wasn’t the most comfortable for Hanbin, after a couple of days of heat. As Hao bounced on his lap, he slid on the bed and the sheets rubbed on him, burning and stinging. The grunts that were pushed out of Hanbin were of both pleasure and pain.

At this point of Hao’s heat, after two days of the most intense rounds of sex of Hanbin’s life, the alpha was getting tired. Not emotionally, he could spend a whole month holed up like this, just the two of them, with food and a bed, but his body was spent. 

The mark of Hanbin’s hand was everywhere. In all of the canvas of Hao’s skin, around his neck, waist, hips and thighs, the brand of Hanbin’s fingers bloomed. When he had had the opportunity to look at his own reflection in the mirror earlier, as he had had the wonderful but terrible idea of fucking Hao in the bathroom (the logistics of knotting weren’t comfortable in many positions other than the more orthodoxes), he had been able to catch a few glimpses of the bruises that marred his own skin. 

During this time, they hadn’t left the bed for more than a few hours. Whenever Hao had a moment of break from his feverish state, Hanbin cooked for them, made them eat and shower, and then put Hao to sleep for a bit, however long they could rest. It was a little exhausting. 

So, when Hao’s next bout of heat hit him, Hanbin had laid himself against the pillows and had motioned for Hao to sit on him. “ It’s your turn to work,” he’d whispered to the space where their mouths almost touched. Whimpering in protest, Hao had tried to complain in vain, but words weren’t his thing when he was in this clouded mindset, so he had had no other choice other than following what Hanbin said. 

At the present, a growing wave was coiling on Hanbin’s belly, a clear sign he was fastly approaching his end. The head of his dick was already getting larger, and Hao moaned louder every time his rim caught the drag. 

Another thing Hanbin was never going to get used to was Hao when he came. His face contorted just so, jaw slack and brows furrowed in concentration, eyes closing. The extension of his neck seemed to go on forever as he threw his head back, in a choked moan. Just right before he tipped, his body went taut, squeezing Hanbin inside of him, and a louder sob escaped his lips. His fingers had to hold on to something, anything, Hanbin had learned, as desperation for release got impossible to contain.And then, he crashed. 

Hao’s orgasm hadn’t failed yet to make Hanbin’s own peak come tumbling over him as well, and, with a hard thrust upward, he let his knot sink deep into Hao’s tight ass, as the omega trembled from head to toe. Limp, Hao tumbled forward, falling on Hanbin’s chest, fighting to catch his breath. 

“You have no right to be so good at this,” he nuzzled against Hanbin’s neck, eyelids heavy. Already this wave of heat was receding, the characteristic fogginess replaced by exhaustion. 

Knots subsided slower, and Hanbin was struggling to form a coherent thought as he could feel himself slowly spurting his cum into Hao. 

“You did all the work,” he answered, mouth still agape in a pretty ‘o’. 

“Such a humble alpha,” Hao kissed his cheek and Hanbin groaned. He blamed the suddenness of the movement. 

There was nothing he could come up with other than a, “Shut up,” that got a small laugh out of the older. 

This position had become something of a regular occurrence, whenever Hanbin knotted him (too many times to count by now). Hao on his lap, him on his back, or sitting against the headboard. It was more comfortable than he’d like to admit. 

This whole situation was more comfortable than he was willing to admit, to be honest. They could be in silence for a while, or they could use this time (after the first wave of pleasure subsided enough for Hanbin to think again) to talk, mostly in soft tones, about things they would be too embarrassed to admit if they were clothed and far away. Some things were easier to talk about within the space of a whisper. Their fears, and their dreams for the future, and some other inane things that didn’t seem important to talk about if they were with anyone else. Hanbin had counted countless times how many moles Hao had on his face, and he felt the knowledge somehow told more about him than it did about Hao. 

“Do you think that doctor was right?” Hao asked this time, drawing circles on Hanbin’s chest. His breath fanned over Hanbin’s neck, making the skin feel weirdly electric. 

“He’s a doctor, so I hope he’s mostly right,” Hanbin teased. Hao rolled his eyes. 

“Not about the medical stuff, about the - ” the volume of his voice went impossibly quieter, and the younger had to strain his ears so he could listen. “About the true mates thing.” 

Hanbin went still. Fingers stopped on their journey up and down Hao’s back. 

“I don’t know, Hao,” he finally said, dropping the honorific. “Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t. I thought you didn’t think it mattered much. Why do you ask?”

Hao shrugged. “No reason. I was just thinking that you said we’re soulmates so much you actually manifested it.”

“ Supposedly .”

“Supposedly,”  Hao agreed, the tiniest hint of a smile on his lips, and, gosh, Hanbin thought he was about to die whenever he saw that expression, the slight press of lips that came right before it turned into one of Hao’s childish grins. There was something magical about it, and Hanbin felt like he could drown, to never resurface to who he was before the view of those grins. 

The question and its reasoning kept hammering in Hanbin’s head. Why had Hao brought this up? Was that something that he was thinking about? Hanbin really wanted to know, but something held him back. 

“I think you can come off now,” he said instead, hands tied to Hao’s waist. To help him off or just to touch him. He didn’t know the difference between those anymore. 

“Yes, of course,” Hao said, placing his palms on Hanbin’s shoulders for support as his eyes fluttered closed and his mouth slid to an ‘ o’, a low moan dragged from his lips as his body rose. Hanbin let out a hiss too. Remnants of his cum oozed out, sliding down Hao’s thighs. That should have been gross, seeing the mess they had created falling on the bed, but it only made Hanbin proud. It also made his dick twitch in interest, which didn’t make sense, since they had just fucked and Hao was so pleased he was almost glowing. 

“This part is so weird. Wanted to have you in me all the time.” 

Surprise and embarrassment took Hanbin in equal measures and he tried not to choke on something as stupid as his own spit. The wave of heat was appeased for now, Hao had no reason to be uttering words like these with a clear head when it made Hanbin’s heart seem like it would jump out of his chest. 

“Shower?” Hanbin asked instead, pretending not to have heard him. 

It was not that the time off their heat waves were boring - not really, Hanbin didn’t think he could ever get bored of spending time with Hao - but it could get extremely tedious when they didn’t even have a television to serve as a distraction. Luckily, they still had their phones and a good set of cards they could play with. Not poker, they had given up on that after they had the idea of betting who would wash the dishes and it had almost dissolved in a war, but other games were fair. 

“Hanbin-ah, this game won’t work if you refuse to slap my hand,” Hao squabbled, right hand on the pile of cards laying in their middle, and left hand promptly tucked over his left ear so he wouldn’t cheat (useless, he always cheated). 

“I’m not refusing to slap you. Maybe I’m just bad,” Hanbin countered with a nonchalant shrug. A fierce and incredulous glare met him.  

“Is that really the excuse you’re going for?” Hao asked with a leveled look, starting an unprompted staring match that would take place until one of them would inevitably bend. The probabilities that Hanbin would be the one doing the bending were extremely high. 

It only followed a pattern then, when, grimacing, Hanbin caved, driving his gaze to the pile of cards that he would have to take. “Sorry, hyung. I don’t think my alpha will let me slap you during your heat. It’s causing me physical pain.”

Hao shook his head, bringing the few cards he still had close to his chest. “We should just stick to poker then.” 

“And cause a third world war?” Hanbin snorted, proceeding to shuffle the new cards that would be added to his absurdly large pile. “Not a chance.”  

That seemed to be Hao’s last straw. Dramatically, his hands flew up in a surrendering motion. “I give up.” The cards were still in his hands. Hanbin spotted a three of diamonds and looked down, feigning disinterest. Not that knowing the card would do him much good when he was planning on letting Hao win anyway. There was no way he would be slapping his omega’s hand like that. “And stop cheating,” Hao snapped his head to Hanbin. “It’s no fun to win when you’re not even trying. Let’s do something else.” 

“Let’s,” Hanbin easily agreed, having trouble with fixing that many cards into only one pile. One card or another always strayed, and he frowned in concentration. “What are you thinking?” 

The masses of fabric and pillows creased under his weight as Hao flopped on the bed. “I have nothing, actually.” 

“Great,” Hanbin stole the cards still in Hao’s clutch and gathered them with his jumble of still messy cards to complete the full deck, placing them on the bedside table in a sloppy stack, where they at least wouldn’t be crushed and ruined accidentally. “I love doing nothing,” he plopped down as well, body bouncing on the mattress for a couple of times before settling. 

The third and last day of the heat was nearing its end. They wouldn’t have much more time to spend, to waste like this, lounging alone and just lazing around. Work was tough and took too much of their lives, and the routine of comebacks, music shows, concerts, magazine shoots and variety content would hold them in a tight, inescapable clutch again. But, for now, they had this room and each other’s company to enjoy. 

Four o’clock rolled around, with the last rays of sun spilling on the bedroom, over their neatly stacked bags on a corner and the white wardrobe against the wall. It reflected on the wooden floor and the cream colored walls, locking them in a quiet warmth. Yellow streams of light painted everything in its vivid hue. 

“Do you think we would have pretty pups?” Hao asked suddenly, staring intently at the ceiling with a soft voice. 

This setting matched him: the silence, the sun bathing his delicate features. Hanbin had the urge to wrap him in his arms and lock him away somewhere where he could never be harmed, and Hanbin didn’t know if this wish came with being an alpha or just because he was madly in love with Hao. 

Where was this question coming from, anyway? Hanbin was faint of heart, and he wouldn’t know what to do if Hao kept toying with his feelings like this. Hinting at their future would rip his little young heart to pieces. It was cruel of Hao to say these things. 

It was good that Hanbin was in possession of a wonderful defense mechanism to keep heartbreak at bay. 

“Are you asking that because you’re taken by heat hormones and the thought of procreating? Ouch! I just wonder sometimes how your head works, hyung. it doesn’t seem to make sense to me.” 

Hanbin rubbed the sore spot on his shoulder Hao had chosen to not so playfully slap him on. 

“Shut up. It’s just ‘cause we’re here, doing this,” Hao gestured wildly in a circle, as if to illustrate the whole situation, “And my head’s gonna explode if we don’t get a distraction.” 

It wouldn’t hurt to humor him, so that was what Hanbin chose to do. “I think all of the pups you have will be pretty,” he said. “You’re really pretty,” he added, because Hao made him a bit of a pathetic man. 

“I really am,” Hao agreed, as if he were proud of the fact. The bold admission made Hanbin laugh. A hand sneaked over the mattress like a little serpent until it reached Hanbin’s. Hao’s fingers had always been a bit on the colder side, but the heat made him run warmer, so the hot grip made their palms clammy. “I don’t know if our pups would be pretty, though. There’s a study that says that pretty parents tend to have ugly pups.” 

Another laugh was punched out of Hanbin. He turned on his side, careful so he wouldn’t disturb the hand on his grasp too much. “You’re worried our pups will be ugly because of a fishy study?”

“I don’t know, okay? At least they’re gonna be smart. They’re gonna have my mitochondrias.”

“I don’t even know what you’re trying to say or how that correlates to anything anymore.” 

“I’m bored. I’m just saying things for the sake of saying something.” 

“Clearly,” Hanbin said, playing with Hao’s long and slim fingers. 

Hao rolled on his side so he could face Hanbin head on as well, robbing Hanbin of his hand in the process, and Hanbin would have pouted or complained or done something equally embarrassing if he hadn’t immediately placed it over the curve of Hanbin’s neck. Feeling emboldened, Hanbin scooted closer and wrapped his arms on Hao's frame. 

“Hey,” Hao whispered. The unabashed stare at Hanbin’s lips did nothing to disguise his train of thought. “We really should do something to pass the time, right?” 

“Right,” Hanbin agreed, having no shame in openly reciprocating the hunger in Hao’s look when he was being watched like that . “Like sleeping?” he teased, lifting a corner of his lips. 

“You’re not as funny as you think you are,” Hao breathed, grazing Hanbin’s scalp with his nails. Was that his version of reprimanding now? Because Hanbin would not be filing his complaints if it was. 

“I never claimed to be the funny one, I’m the charismatic and kind leader. It’s different.” 

“You should put your mouth to better use and kiss me before you can say something stupid and make me change my mind.”

“I like that idea too,” he said, drawn to Hao, as he sealed their mouths in a sluggish touch of lips. 

Unlike with sex, Hao and Hanbin weren’t as charitable with their kisses. Sex was excusable - they needed it to help Hao go through his heat. Kisses weren’t. Why would they be? Kisses were a whim, a product of their own raw desires, a non-discussed clause outside of the strictly necessary boundaries of their verbal agreement. So they kissed sparingly. When they were alone in the bedroom and Hao was getting too drunk on hormones to be able to think straight, that one time in the bathroom when it seemed like the solar system would stop spinning if they didn’t, yesterday when Hanbin cooked Hao a meal so good he got a little peck for his efforts. 

So Hanbin got lost in how Hao felt under his hands, feeling something that looked suspiciously like his own heart expanding, growing, in a journey to take over every part of him, until it didn’t fit in his chest anymore. It was easier to function when he was willingly blind and ignored the way his heart worked overtime everytime Hao was near him. 

Three days weren’t nearly enough. The hard concrete floor had always seemed like an appealing surface to leap into if it meant Hanbin could have Hao, but now that he knew what it was like to hold him, Hanbin was willing to not only leap, but also shatter every one of his aspirations if he could have this single moment forever. There was a part of him that knew that, besides his career, he had another ignored dream that he would likely never allow himself to have, for this exact reason. It was scary how much he wanted to leap and never look back. Hao made it look like every one of his dreams were made of paper, like he was the only solid thing Hanbin could ever wish for. 

So Hanbin breathed in heavy sighs and concentrated on deepening the kiss. Words that would likely go forever unsaid and die in his throat were kept inside, where they could be hidden by the arteries and veins that covered his heart. There were other ways of talking, and Hanbin was fluent in many of them, so he rolled Hao to his back and trailed kisses down his neck. 

“Binnie - ah, - wait, wait, I think my last wave is about to hit,” he said, voice tainted by his labored breathing. “The collar, don’t you wanna…” 

“Do you wanna?”Hanbin said, biting his earlobe. Hao had such cute ears. A mixture of cute-aggression and that Hao-shaped space taking over his mind made Hanbin grab the other man’s waist tighter and pull him impossibly closer, while he busied himself nipping the earlobe. 

A light slap to his shoulder ended up turning into a grip on him. “We’re gonna run in circles with this if you don’t make up your mind.” 

“It’s not me who has to make up their mind, hyung. Haven’t we talked about this?”

“And we’ve reached no conclusion at all,” Hanbin could feel the eye roll, even when he was licking a stripe on Hao’s throat. A long and sharp gasp ensued. “ Oh - , Hanbin, I’m gonna… but you haven’t decided anything!” Hao argued as gripped Hanbin’s shoulders harder. 

“Because you haven’t,” Hanbin dived in to continue the much more important activity of making out, and he managed to get away with it for a few seconds, until Hao broke off their lips, choking on air. 

“I haven’t decided because I said you should!”

“And, as I said, I think you should choose, because I’m a dumb alpha who needs to be bossed around by a cute omega like you.”

“Flattery will take you nowhere. Where’s all of that alpha leadership when you need it?” Hao asked, rhetorically. “Quickly, collar or no collar?”

Hanbin huffed. “I refuse to answer. Can you please just decide already?”

Another eye roll greeted him, this one he could see. “Okay, I’m trying to be considerate here, Bin. Can’t you, just this once…” he trailed off. “Can’t you accept it just this time?”

“Hyung, but you don’t have to. Didn’t I say your comfort comes first?” Hanbin appeased with a quick kiss. “Please. Decide.”

Hao sighed. The tips of his fingers played with Hanbin’s hair, and the movement was slightly distracting. “I want you to feel secure, Bin, and I wanna at least try to put on the collar for you.” 

“Hao hyung, haven’t I been good these past few days?” His forehead bumped into Hao’s, and he closed his eyes, wanting to feel Hao’s warmth, his breathing. “I’m telling you. We don’t need the collar unless you want to. This is why I want you to decide.” 

“Hanbin, you’re so stupid,” Hao shook his head, as the locks of his tousled hair flew around and tickled the alpha’s forehead. Puffs of breath fell on Hanbin’s mouth and chin. “But fine. You win, I’ll decide. No collar. Now please, take your clothes off. You’re way more bearable when you don’t have them on.”

“Hyung, you don’t even realize how often your wishes align to mine. That’s all,” Hanbin said. He sat on his heels, doing just as Hao told and stripping his shirt off. Even this command aligned with his own selfish desires, he thought, as his shorts soon followed, and he was suddenly naked in bed with Hao, when they were both very much lucid about what they were doing. Ever since the heat started, they had been having the habit of forgoing underwear. The fewer layers they wore, the easier it was to get rid of them. 

Hao ran an appreciative glance to Hanbin’s form, from head to toe, and unconsciously bit his lip, breaking from his daze only when Hanbin tugged on his ankle to jokingly pull him down the bed. 

“This is not fair,” Hanbin pouted, with his best impression of Hao’s imploring eyes. “Won’t hyung take his clothes off too?”

Hao huffed. “See? Annoying.” But he did get on with it, getting rid of his hoodie and shorts too. 

“I’m just kindly asking,” Hanbin muttered, already dragging the other man for another kiss. 

Being on top of Hao like this, their minds mostly lucid, being able to run his hands on the ridges, edges and dips of Hao’s torso, cradling his face in his palms, after a round of meaningless bickering that would take them nowhere, feeling Hao’s hands explore his own neck and back in return, was all Hanbin could ask for. 

“Isn’t this a better way to spend our time?” Hao asked, planting a kiss in Hanbin’s lips. 

“Of course it is, hyung,” Hanbin agreed in a murmur that was muffled by Hao’s mouth. “But I like anything I do with you.” 

And this was a better way to spend their time, there was no disputing it. So Hanbin simply didn’t and continued with their kisses, like they had all the time in the world to spend like this. 

The truth was, though, that they didn’t. 

Hanbin could feel Hao’s temperature rising as they progressed, how warmth seemed to radiate out of him. Cheeks flushing, skin clammy.  Movements getting frantic and needy, even though they were kissing so calmly it looked like they would be falling asleep anytime.

“Hanbin,” Hao murmured, sneaking a leg over Hanbin’s hips to not so subtly pull him closer. “You should really - start getting on with it,” his lips trailed down on Hanbin’s neck, in a plea to make Hanbin give in and move faster. Hanbin’s jaw slacked open, and he bared his neck so that he could let Hao have a better access to work. 

“Hm,” he hummed in contemplation, letting himself be seduced for a little while longer. “Keep going if you wanna convince me.” 

Hao’s frustrated grumble was actually fun to listen to. “I’m never defending you saying you’re not like the other alphas anymore,” Hao complained as he pushed Hanbin’s chest away for a moment. Eyebrows raised, Hanbin was momentarily surprised, until he could feel himself being pulled and rolled on the bed, Hao sitting prettily on his lap. As if every second he spent apart from Hanbin would take Hao closer to his demise, but also visibly annoyed with Hanbin’s lack of cooperation, Hao pulled Hanbin by the nape of his neck. 

Hanbin felt like Hao was trying to pull him apart by the seams, like he was Hao’s to be devoured, consumed, until there would be nothing left of him but ashes. And there was something about this reverse of roles they had been playing the whole heat, of feeling wanted, that only made the fire burn brighter.

“ Hanbinie,” Hao whispered in the shell of his ear, enticingly moving his hips over Hanbin. Slowly, he traced his mouth down, to murmur on Hanbin’s neck. “Don’t you wanna knot me?” he asked, with a nip to his collarbones. At Hanbin’s interested hum, he continued. “Am I not your good omega?” Hao pulled Hanbin’s nipple between his forefinger and thumb, then he moved his mouth to work on the top of Hanbin’s hard chest when the alpha twitched with a small moan. “I deserve it, don’t I?” he questioned at last, placing a kiss on the black inked star of Hanbin’s tattoo, looking up at the alpha with his round, doe eyes. Hanbin’s heart leaped at the sight. 

“Aren’t you a bit entitled?” Hanbin countered with a smirk and a tilt of his head, in spite of how weak he felt at seeing Hao’s face fall. “I’m not gonna help you if you’re acting like a spoiled brat.” 

Mouth agape, Hao stared back at him for a beat too long until, resolved, he gritted his teeth. With an irritated huff and a single minded intent, he went back to coaxing Hanbin to take action, sucking the life out of him through his mouth. One of his hands lightly ran down Hanbin’s torso, over his nipple, to rest on Hanbin’s lower stomach, where he scratched the coarser trail of hair that ran down Hanbin’s crotch. It was close to where Hanbin wanted to be touched, and his breathing got a little heavier. 

“Don’t you wanna see me round with your pups?” Hao tried again, voice low and alluring. Hanbin’s dick twitched in interest, trapped against their tummies. “Why is my alpha being so mean?” he pouted. 

Hanbin forwent an answer, only pulling Hao closer to him, teasingly rocking their dicks together in a way that was completely unsatisfying for Hao’s current need to be filled. The tired sigh over his mouth signaled Hao’s patience was running out. 

Just so he could tease him more, Hanbin sneaked down a hand to fist Hao’s cock, pumping it a few times, with a loose fist. 

Hao whimpered. “Hanbin, want you in me. Please,” he begged. 

Since the day they had been called for their spots, when Hao’s tears had tracked down his face, Hanbin had had a sick wish to bring him to sobs, for reasons that defied the decorum that he was expected to have for a group mate. 

Maybe he wanted to see Hao break. Just a little. And then he would go on with their normal knotting agenda. 

“No,” Hanbin denied simply. He wondered if Hao had ever been refused before, as shock cursed through him. His eyebrows shot up.  

“No?” Incredulity soiled Hao’s semblance. “What do you mean with ‘no’?”

Hanbin mused, with a dramatic flair of his hand. “You’re too… coherent,” he said, as if looking for the right words. “I don’t feel like helping you right now.” 

At a loss for words, Hao squinted. “You want me to beg, then.”

The quick conclusion made Hanbin almost snort. “I don’t want you to beg,” he assured, running a hand on Hao’s back, but Hao didn’t seem to believe him. 

“ What do you want, then?” he interrogated, far too demanding for his own good. 

A few seconds passed by, before Hanbin finally started. “I want you to do something for me,” he confessed slowly.

“Do you want me to suck you off?” Hao pressed, always impatient to have what he wanted the moment he wanted. It was probably one of those things that came with being pretty all of his life. People probably doubled themselves over to try to please him at the drop of a hat. Hanbin knew he did. 

This time, Hanbin actually laughed. “I hadn’t thought about that, but it won’t hurt your case if you want to. Unless you can’t make it all fit into your mouth?” he challenged, with a slight curve of his lips. 

An annoyed groan was his answer, and the other man proceeded to, with an agility Hanbin rarely saw in him, try to fit himself between Hanbin’s legs, kneeling on the mattress, and Hanbin actually thought it was cute how Hao was pretending to hate this so much when his pheromones punched Hanbin’s gut with eagerness. 

A hand to his cheek stopped him before he could get down to business. “You don’t actually need to, if you don’t want to.” As if to prove his previous point, Hao’s mouth fell and his eyebrows furrowed, like a kid being denied a treat they were dying to taste. If Hao didn’t know how to be patient, Hanbin would have to be for the two of them. “I want you to do something else,” he said.

Holding in a breath, Hao waited.

Much more mellow and soft than he had been before, Hao tried once again. He lowered his chin, in a sign of submission. “What… do you want?” 

A deep rumble resonated through Hanbin’s chest, as his wolf was pleased with the obedience. “I like that tone better,” he approved. He held their stares for as long as it was possible, so long that Hao’s nails started to dig into the flesh of Hanbin’s stomach in anticipation. Only after letting the sting dissipate did Hanbin move. 

Breaking their eye contact, the alpha turned to the bedside table. 

Was he being a little selfish? There was no doubt. But he also wanted to leave here with something that was done solely for him and his enjoyment. 

Cards, a necklace and their phones were all crowded on the small surface, but Hanbin wasn’t looking for any of that. Instead, his eyes landed on the big, red toy that had come (accidentally?) in Hao’s bag. 

Hao was a smart man. That was why his eyes flickered from the toy to Hanbin in a quick succession, jaw sliding open. 

“You had your fun these last few days. Shouldn’t I have mine too?” Hanbin questioned, voice pleasant and kind, smile tucked in place, like he was talking about the weather. 

The toy was being gawked at as if it had committed a crime against Hao’s mother. Then, he drove that same gaze to Hanbin. “Are you saying you’re not gonna fuck me?”

“ Tone ,” Hanbin mildly reminded, making eye contact until he saw Hao’s throat bob. “But don’t worry, hyung. I will.” Smile so bright his dimples showed, Hanbin presented the red toy to Hao. “As I said, you’re too coherent for my liking. And I wanna have some fun before I fuck your pretty brains out.” 

Uncertain but too needy to drag this any longer, Hao’s hand closed in on the offending object. His fingers grazed Hanbin’s palm, and the contrast in size, with Hao’s hand barely managing to fit around the thing, had Hanbin reeling, and his pinewood scent spiked in the room. 

Studying the thing,  Hao frowned and gazed at his own hand. A small pout graced his lips. 

“Don’t you want to be filled?” Hanbin goaded. 

Hao threw his head back in a groan. He pointed the dildo at Hanbin like it was a finger, shaking it for emphasis. “Not like this !” 

Hanbin let his face break the charming exterior to look sterner. His alpha voice slipped out, not entirely on purpose. Still, no matter what, he had that tinge of a preschool teacher scolding little kids more than anything else. “Didn’t I tell you about your tone? Talk to me like that again and I’ll be upset.”

Hao gaped at the air, torn between behaving and going against Hanbin’s order, head probably running over options before coming up empty handed. It was also hard for him to so directly confront what Hanbin told him with the advantage of dynamics. 

Ultimately, he seemed to decide it was best to fume in silence. 

Amused, Hanbin tilted his head to the side. “The faster you get to it, the faster you’ll get what you want.” 

In quiet resignation, Hao looked at the toy, bottom lip jutted forward. The familiar coloring on his cheeks that overtook him every time he was getting near the peak of a heat wave was spreading over his face. His dark eyes were dejected and disgusted. 

Not letting the visual distraction get to him, Hanbin got out of the bed, hearing the loud protests of “ Binnie!” echoing through the place as he went out of the door to pick up something else. He dragged it through the floorboards before settling it in front of the bed, so he could have a front row view of the spectacle. 

The sad kitchen chair wasn’t very comfortable, but it was what he had in terms of sitting, so it would have to do. A creak of protest was heard as Hanbin sat down. The seat was too rigid, the flat wood made it too uncomfortable to be able to sit on for long amounts of time, and one of the legs wiggled if he jostled around. None of that mattered. 

Zhang Hao sat where he’d been when Hanbin had abruptly left him without saying a word, visibly displeased and lightly upset. 

“You can sit against the pillows,” Hanbin instructed calmly. Cursing Hanbin with his eyes, Hao punched the soft pillows, to fluff them or to get his frustrations out. Could be both. Then, he plonked down, half-sitting and half-laying over the softness of his nest. Even in that position, he crossed his arms, dildo in hands. He looked more like a grumpy cat than really threatening. 

“What now… Alpha ?” he attempted at the last minute, to make the sentence seem more polite. 

Hanbin smirked. “Hanbin is just fine. You can make yourself comfortable.” 

Now that he was being followed, Hanbin had no problems in returning to that pleasant image of before. So long as Hao behaved, they would be fine. 

“Spread your legs,” he ordered, with the same voice he used to coach their group in dance practices. It wasn’t harsh, rather, it was like a loving nudge in the right direction. 

At his command, Hao’s legs parted, and Hanbin was blessed with the unobstructed view of his ass and his already hard cock. His asscheeks glistened with the slick that was starting to pool between his legs and drip beneath Hao to dampen the bed. He was all slicked and ready to be fucked. Every time Hanbin saw that, his wolf ran rampant in his chest, and a primal need to fill Hao with as many pups as he could have suddenly grabbed him by the neck. Blinking, Hanbin had to take a moment to come back to what he was doing. 

“Why don’t you play with your cock a bit?” 

A show was what Hanbin wanted to watch, and he would make sure to be entertained. His cock throbbed between his legs in a half-mast when Hao whined but complied, delicate and long fingers coming to wrap over himself, thumb running over his leaking slit. Hao unsatisfyingly pumped himself, probably getting even more frustrated that he was tied to doing what Hanbin explicitly told him, that he couldn’t do as he pleased.

From this angle, with his knees bent and torso laying atop the pile of pillows, optical illusion made Hao’s frame look ever smaller than he actually was. A twist of his wrist forced a short moan out of Hao, and he painted such a pretty picture, Hanbin’s omega, all sharp bones and soft angles, as he writhed on the mattress. 

“ Hanbinie,” came a long and whiny complaint. “ Please,” he begged, ramming his cock up into his fist. His jasmine scent was starting to get heavier. It had barely started but he was already begging? Was he so spoiled he couldn’t stand even a few minutes of teasing? 

“Aren’t you having fun, sweetheart?” Hanbin cooed, too entranced to know what he was saying. A violent shake of head met his question, and Hao’s scent sweetened to an almost nauseating quality, inviting Hanbin to take action, and the man had to hold in a breath to stop himself from doing what Hao wanted. 

Choking on the jasmine air, Hanbin conceded, maybe faster than he would have liked, but Hao seemed too distressed with his pouty lips and his sad and needy whines. “Never say I’m not nice,” he whistled through his teeth. “You can fuck yourself, Hao.” 

“No one has ever said you’re not nice,” Hao said haughtily, releasing a relieved sigh. The previously rejected dildo was grabbed at an impressive speed, and Hao took his pulse close to his entrance, pushing the toy in with one single thrust, no need to be asked twice. His eyes closed, neck bare as he stared at Hanbin through half-lidded eyes, as if launching a dare to see if Hanbin would bite, as he groaned. 

Hao knew he would be gawked at, and he’d always had that little tendency of wanting the spotlight to shine over his head. Maybe Hanbin was just a manifestation for that desire: he would be the only audience for this one-man show, and he would make every second count, until Hao was too out of it to know what he was doing. Then he would be satisfied. 

A breath was all the warning before a determined gaze settled on Hao’s features, and a hardened gleam took his eyes. He had no intention to hide that this was a show. 

Lazily, the toy disappeared and reappeared into Hao, in long, drawn out strokes that drew a flush on Hao’s chest. Purposefully, he would push up his hips for Hanbin’s better appreciation, and would clench around the thickness with a gasp, just so that Hanbin could watch him. The sting from digging his own nails on his knees to stop himself from reaching was caving reddish half-moons on Hanbin’s skin. 

One of Hanbin’s hands was drawn to his own cock, resting against his stomach, and he fisted it to try to find some relief. A corner of Hao’s mouth slicked up in a lazy and arrogant smirk. It was downright dirty and Hanbin wanted nothing more than to rub it out of him, preferably by making Hao choke on his cock.

Sex with Hao during his heats were laced with franticness and desperation, a practicality that made Hanbin’s skin crawl. It was good, but it was efficient and - paradoxically, since in the material sense it was anything but - clean. If Hanbin ever had the chance of fucking Hao again, in a state of mind where the both of them wouldn’t have to worry about their desperate need to breed and knot and be knotted, he thought he would like this: taking Hao apart, piece by piece, erasing every layer of his confidence to bring him to his knees, and teach him what it meant to be humble.

“ Agh! ” Hao moaned as he looked at Hanbin, in a very obviously performative way, in a probable attempt to sway Hanbin. Pathetically, Hanbin’s mouth dried. With a lip captured between his teeth, the loud squelching sounds of the toy as it was pushed in and out and with mile-long legs spread out, it wasn’t hard to sell a show. “ Uh, what’s it good to have an alpha if he’s - agh!, - gonna be fucking useless?”

“If you’re capable of talking then you’re in no state of mind to be fucked.” 

Hanbin ran his hand over the long extension of his dick, and watched Hao take notice of his size. Like most alphas, he was very well endowed, but it still gave him an odd sense of pride whenever Hao looked at him with his dark, hungry gaze. Hao’s scent called him again, and the omega whimpered, pleasured but distressed, the wet noise of his dildo growing frenzied and uncoordinated. 

Hao threw his head back. “Please, please, please, Binnie, I’m serious now, need you so much .” The soles of his feet planted on the bed so he could lift his hips better. 

“Not yet, puppy,” Hanbin breathed, running his thumb through his head, in a motion that was growing to be less and less satisfying by the second. 

Frustration oozing out of his every pore, Hao groaned from deep within his chest and took the toy out of himself, to punch it down the mattress. “I wanna be knotted !” he whined impatiently as his scent spoke of anger. He stared defiantly at Hanbin. 

“Get your toy, Hao,” was all Hanbin patiently said, with a pointed nod of his chin to the abandoned dildo. But Hao was tired and would have none of that. 

He sat up. “ No,” he refused, crossing his arms with an arched eyebrow. 

“Hao,” Hanbin tried again. 

“You either stick this toy in me yourself, Hanbin, or you’re gonna come here and knot me. Right now,” he said, as if daring him to come and take him

To that, Hanbin had to laugh, light and airy. “It’s funny that you think you’re in a place to make demands.” 

“ Hanbiniee,” Hao threw himself on the pile of pillows and blankets behind him, whining. “You’re so mean.” 

“Yes,” he agreed easily, knowing he had the upper hand. “Are you gonna fuck yourself now?”

“I’d rather have you fucking me, ” Hao defied back. 

“That’s not happening yet. So?”

The sun was setting as Hao fixed Hanbin with a look, long shadows crossing his face. He closed his eyes, breathing in to keep his calm. When he opened them again, he had regained some of his control. The orange glow of the afternoon painted him in gold, and Hanbin thought he was seeing something holy. 

Perched on his elbows, Hao scrutinized him from head to toe, deliberately running his eyes on Hanbin. If this was a game, two could play it. For Hanbin, it was better this way - it wasn’t as much fun when he wasn't questioned anyway. “Only if you come here to watch,” he dared with finality, chin tilted forward. 

The challenge rolled in his mind. They were both so competitive, and Hanbin wondered vaguely if this was how Hao behaved in bed when he wasn’t in heat, if he used his cunning to string his partners around his little finger like this. Somehow, he really wanted to find out. 

“Okay,” he said. Hanbin wasn’t cruel, and he could compromise. He was the leader exactly because he could negotiate when it was necessary. 

With his first demand granted, Hao apparently felt he could ask for even more. “ But ,” Hao stressed with a pointed look. “You can’t touch.” 

Hanbin snorted. “Not like I’m touching now.” 

The chair jogged in place as Hanbin got up. Kneeling on the bed, he trudged over the covers to where Hao laid, to kneel in the space between where his legs were spread.

"Any requests of where I should stay, Your Highness?" 

Hao blinked out in a daze, apparently amazed that he had managed to make Hanbin follow his demand slash request. "Right there," he said. “And be grateful that you’re enjoying this privileged view,” he said, but his voice lacked his usual spunk. Despite himself, Hanbin smiled. 

With his audience closer, Hao seemed to get shier. 

“Okay,” he whispered with a tremble to his words. His hand landed like a feather on his toy. The lack of distance showed with more clarity the shape of his delicate features, and Hanbin, sitting on the balls of his feet, put a hand behind himself to lean back, drinking in the sight ahead.

“Well?” Hanbin taunted, and, like a spell, Hao was prompted to lean back into the pillows, opening his smooth legs. The wetness visible from afar was even more evident from this close. It glistened between his legs in the afternoon light, dripping down the bed, like a reflection of the setting sun on the sea. The scent was also stronger, and Hanbin took a lungful of the jasmin notes hanging in the air. 

Rolling his eyes, Hao seemed to recover a bit of his senses. 

This time, when he pushed the toy in, he wasn’t putting on a show. Well, he was, in a sense, but there was nothing exaggerated in his reactions now that Hanbin had a close access to them being displayed on his face. If anything, there was a raw sense to it, how his moans sounded as they hit the bedroom walls and then came back to them. 

Locked in a trance, Hanbin could do nothing but watch. 

With a hard thrust in, Hao’s hips bucked and his head tilted back. “You’re so annoying, you know?” A frown etched itself deeper between his brows. “ Ah! So… frustrating - angh! - make me wanna tear off your head sometimes. ” 

Breath getting labored, Hanbin had no reply whatsoever to provide for this aggressive desire. He could only stare, mesmerized, imprisoned in a cloud of jasmine. Lust unfurled on the low of his stomach, as his cock jumped, begging for attention, and his hand leisurely went down to stroke himself. 

“See?” Hanbin asked, purposefully slowing down the rhythm of his strokes so he could sound less strangled. The glint of Hao’s eyes through his half opened lashes struck lightning through his spine. “You’re having so much fun now, hyung.”

“It’s so funny, Hanbinnie… how you - you’re… ah!,” he stopped, too caught up trying to drive circles with the red dildo. “Pretending you have the power when your scent tells me you’re so desperate for me.” 

Tightening his grip on himself, Hanbin kept a torturously slow pace. “What’s funny, hyung, is how you’re fooling yourself into believing your own words.” 

A long moan delayed Hao’s answer. “Not… ‘m not fooling. You want to mark me with your scent all over again, want to make me yours so bad. Why do you think that is?” The hairs on the back of Hanbin’s neck stood up, shiver zinging from the base of his column upward. “It’s just ‘cause I want to make you mine.” 

There might have been truth to those words, but Hanbin wouldn’t know. Heats made just the craziest things happen. It wouldn’t be anything out of the norm for Hao to say that at the moment. 

“Really?” Hanbin smirked. The infinite array of clothes, pillows and blankets underneath them was getting damp. Maybe it was their sweat, maybe it was Hao’s slick. Whatever it was, Hanbin couldn’t even bring himself to care. “Then if I tell you to stop right now, can you continue fucking yourself?” 

A whimper so deep it made him bounce on the mattress in need was pushed out of Hao. His hand moved faster. He was close to begging again. Good. He needed to be put in place. 

“I don’t think you’re in any place to go against me, are you, Hao? Can you go against your alpha?”

Hanbin leaked into his fingers, easing the slide of his hand. He grunted. 

“ If I weren’t in heat ,” Hao cut himself with a whimper. “Next time, Hanbin. See if you can control me.” 

A rush of something desperate and possessive took over Hanbin, and the effort to keep himself in place and not reach for Hao, just in the grasp of his fingers, was monumental. He would like to see Hao try. 

Just to prove his point and be a jerk, Hanbin uttered a single word. 

“Stop,” he said. 

Immediately, as if wired to move at his command, Hao stopped pushing his toy between his legs. The violent cry of needy outrage that followed would chase Hanbin to his grave. 

“Hanb - alpha!” Hao changed mid-sob. “ Please,” he now begged, rutting his hips for some form of relief. The tip of his tongue peaked out of his pink mouth, trailing briefly over his lips. 

“Didn’t I tell you to stop ?” Hanbin asked, still a bit dazed from following the path of Hao’s tongue through his lips. 

Even though he was trying, Hanbin was also reaching his limits. His patience was running low, even if he was the one responsible for how long he was depriving himself from complete debauchery. 

Throwing his head back, Hao pouted. Tears pooled in the corners of his eyes. “ Meanie,” he sniffled. His scent came in a wave so strong it almost knocked Hanbin down. 

“Didn’t you say you were in control, Hao? What were you saying, baby?” he asked tauntingly, as if Hao was the only one affected when he could very vividly feel a drop of sweat trail down his neck. 

“Alpha !” 

The pooling tears fell and ran through the dainty features of his face. 

Oh. 

Now this was better. This was what Hanbin wanted to work with. 

Looking down to the middle of the omega’s legs, the wet patch on his thighs and ass formed a puddle of slick. 

“ Please,” Hao pleaded, affected, trembling tone. The tip of his nose was rosy, as were his cheeks. Strikingly large eyes stared back at Hanbin, with something close to anguish. 

He couldn’t resist for much longer. 

“What?” Hanbin asked, though his inner alpha growled inside his chest to pounce and stop playing around. He stopped the strokes to his cock and leaned in closer to the omega. “I didn’t get that, Hao.”

Hao’s scent, sweet as candy, almost biteable, rolled in the air. “I said please , Hanbinnie, can you knot me now?”

“Hmm,” Hanbin hummed in contemplation. Then, a sunny grin unfolded on his lips. It wasn’t that hard to ask. “Of course, love,” Hanbin said, barely noticing the term of endearment slipping through his tongue. “But didn’t you say no touching?” The grin spread wider. 

A frustrated, annoyed grumble resonated in the room, and then suddenly Hanbin was being pulled down as Hao jumped on him, mouth opening wide to run their tongues together in a furious, uncoordinated kiss. Hanbin had to take a moment to stop them from tumbling backwards on the bed and falling on the hard, cold ground, as he was obligated to stretch his legs so that Hao could sit comfortably over him. 

Hands wrapped around Hanbin’s hair, spreading, pulling, tangling it, and he swallowed a moan. Maybe it was Hao’s, maybe it was his. Fogginess took up his mind. He could feel every single one of Hao’s fingers on his nape, as if his senses were attuned to the man’s every touch, wired to be aware of him. 

As the sun disappeared into the horizon, casting its last rays of sunlight through the window, Hanbin felt aflame. Every one of his nerve endings felt the hard edges of Hao’s body underneath his fingertips, the heat of his body burning like fire. Uneven breaths mingled and Hanbin was alive and bright in the dusk. 

One moment he had Hao’s slick wetting his thighs, and, the next, he didn’t know how, he was slipping in, a smooth slide that craned Hao’s neck back in a high moan. Stomach tightening into a knot, Hanbin felt propelled forward, driven by Hao’s scent and his smooth hands on the nape of his neck. A gust of breath landed on Hanbin’s ears, over the the strands of his hair. Lips ghosted the shell of his ear as he barely even realized he had already bottomed out and that a moan had rolled out of his tongue. 

When did they start to move in sync, Hanbin didn’t know, he could only feel Hao’s walls squeezing him in, driving low grunts out of him as his hips moved up and down. 

Hanbin didn’t know what he was doing anymore. His lips had locked on the crook of Hao’s shoulders, kissing and nipping the heated skin, as his hands had been glued to Hao’s hips, guiding him up and down just the way he liked. Every thought had fled from his head, and what remained was only this moment. 

“Mine,” Hanbin murmured, trailing his mouth over Hao’s collarbones, giving away to his innermost desires to say what he had been once too sober to verbalize. 

“Yours, yours, yours,” Hao gasped back, every time he fell on Hanbin’s cock, the sounds punched straight out of his chest. The pads of his fingers dug on Hanbin’s back, as he grabbed onto the man, holding on the limits of stability and madness. 

The confession pulled something animalistic out of Hanbin, a deep desire to make Hao his, now more than ever. This was the moment, he thought, as he dragged his canines on Hao’s exposed neck. Hanbin sunk his teeth in, hard, an almost but not quite bite, not enough to draw blood yet, but enough to make the mark visible for days. A garbled, wretched moan came out of Hao, and the man above him carved his nails on Hanbin’s sturdy shoulders, and this was hard enough to draw blood. 

All of the muscles on Hanbin’s body tensed, and his hands gripped Hao’s hips harder, suddenly seized by the need to treat him like a ragdoll, to have Hao bouncing up and down on his lap. The force of it made it impossible for Hao to breathe, he could only moan loudly, sound reverberating in the room. 

“Alpha - alpha,” Hao cried, and his tears fell on Hanbin’s shoulder, as he bit harder. “Yours, yours, yours, wanna - ah! ah! - your pretty omega!” 

And that was all Hanbin wanted too, wanted to make Hao his pretty omega forever, to make no one be able to land a hand on him without knowing instinctively that he was taken, that he would be in Hanbin’s bed, that he would carry his pups, would be his and only his for the rest of eternity. And now the slightest hint of the coppery taste of blood flooded Hanbin’s mouth, because yes, that’s what they needed, that’s what they both wanted, to be each other’s forever, not have any other. 

“ Ngh,” Hao uttered, writhing on Hanbin’s lap, clinging to him as his cock leaked on Hanbin’s stomach, so close , close to be made Hanbin’s. “Please,” he whimpered, and Hanbin was ready to do it. 

Manhandling him, Hanbin turned Hao to his back. As he hit the mattress and the piles of blankets, his foggy gaze met Hanbin’s. His eyes were droopy as they stared at Hanbin, and the harsh breaths drawn out left him through a crack on his parted lips. The flush on his cheeks reached high on his face, and Hanbin growled. As if on cue, Hao presented the alpha with his neck again. The visible mark of teeth, red around the edges, with a slight bruise from which a few drops of blood drizzled from, was all he could focus on, as he slammed down his hips. Soon, Hao would be completely his. 

The bed creaked under their weight, the heavy scratch against the floorboards a constant cadence that played along with Hao’s moans and Hanbin’s grunts. Hao’s legs wrapped around his hips, dragging Hanbin impossibly nearer. He gasped into the air as Hanbin busied himself with peppering kisses along his collarbones. 

“More - ah! - please, Bin, more! ”

Whatever Hao thought Hanbin was lacking, Hanbin would be more than glad to provide. If Hao thought Hanbin wasn’t doing enough, then Hanbin would have to try harder. Nails scratched his scalp and Hanbin moaned, hips stuttering as he felt like tipping off the edge of a cliff. He could feel the coil on the low of his stomach as he drove in, going so hard they could listen to the sounds of skin slapping on skin. Hao’s eyes rolled to the back of his skull,with such intensity that his head dropped on the mattress. Hs heels dug on Hanbin’s lower back and his hips lifted off the bed. 

“Better now, baby?” Hanbin panted, pushing a hand up so he could grip the roots of the hairs on the back of his omega’s head, trying to get a better angle to leave his claim. 

“Yesyes yes, angh,” Hao breathed, arching against Hanbin’s body and pushing his ass against Hanbin’s cock. Listening to the confirmation only spurred Hanbin on, made him drive deeper in the tight heat. 

He nosed at the juncture of Hao’s shoulder, trying to find the best spot to leave his permanent bite. The bare neck was inviting, and Hao’s scent, mixed with Hanbin’s, covered him like a perfume, dulling the senses and getting him in a state of almost drunkenness. Was this the claiming? Were they truly mating? Hanbin vaguely wondered, and then proceeded to discard any regard for apprehension that he still held. 

His vision tunneled, only seeing the reddened patch of skin that he had bitten into before, the faint traces of blood that marred the perfection of Hao’s body (maybe it was actually a detail that added to the sense of perfection, who knew at this moment?), how the white middle gave way to the pink teeth marks and the wine tinted hue of blood. 

Sensing that he was about to be bitten, finally, after days of bannings and orders that came too close to a close call, the blunt of Hao’s nails scratched his neck, the frenzied rhythm of his fingers drove a sting of pain, but Hanbin was too far gone to care, he had permission from his omega, he had the taste of sweat and blood mixing on his tongue, and he could feel Hao’s wet hole sucking him in as the slow swell of his knot grew, pushing pleasure to the forefront of his mind. 

“There, nhg, please, Bin - alpha - bite,” Hao begged, his scratching becoming almost too painful. The gums of Hanbin’s teeth ached with longing, and he poised his head, grabbing Hao’s thighs so that he wouldn’t slip up the bed when Hanbin sunk his teeth on the silken flesh. It was becoming increasingly difficult to even breathe, the scent of jasmine was heady in the room, spread all around them, and Hanbin’s head was foggy, too foggy to even realize the snarling he was letting out as he nosed the crook of Hao’s sweaty neck. 

And that was why, when a clangoring sound resonated around the room, the fog keeping a grip on Hanbin’s mind suddenly cleared, like a snap of a finger. 

He halted all movements and looked up, in the direction of the sound, mouth curled in a growl, and Hao whined in a high pitch, ever needy after being so close to having what he wanted. His eyes darted around the room, searching for the source of disturbance, but they found nothing. It took him a few seconds to realize something must have fallen on the floor of the apartment upstairs and the sound had reverberated through their apartment, effectively taking Hanbin out of his daze. 

“Alpha !” Hao cried, dragging the vowels, in a desperate attempt to make Hanbin keep going. Thighs crushed Hanbin, and heels kicked on his back to urge him to move, but Hanbin ignored him for now, because a much darker sense of dread started to spread within him, at the thought that he had been seconds away from making a life-altering decision that could very well flaunt their goodbye to their careers. All because he had been lost in the feeling and the moment, because he had given into his alpha. 

So, with the barest thread of rationality Hanbin was still clinging on to, he turned Hao to lay on his side, as he held one of his legs in the air and fucked him from the back. The privileged view of Hao’s skinny back, with his bones and muscles twitching and arching with every powerful thrust forward, glistening silver with the moonlight, was less threatening than the view of his face, with his pleading, soft eyes and smooth voice. If Hanbin leaned a little too close to Hao’s scent gland, hot breath fanning over his neck and moans spilling on Hao’s ears, it was a risk he would choose to see as a reward to his efforts in keeping a clear head. 

Murmured encouragements landed on the crook of Hao’s neck, where the ends of his hairs stood up against Hanbin’s nose, and the omega screamed, louder and louder, trying to reach of Hanbin in some way or another, but a harsh word put his hands in a leash bounded forward, clutching the blankets with a white-knotted grip. 

They were both getting too close now. Hanbin could feel the sweat dripping from the slope of his nose meeting the sweat of Hao’s neck. Their scents engulfed them, and Hanbin, compelled by the urge to mark Hao with something, dropped his lips on the man’s shoulders and sucked, hard enough to leave behind the imprint of his teeth. 

The head of his knot grew large, catching the rim of Hao’s ass, and he knew that if they wanted to have any semblance of comfort Hanbin would have to turn him around to face him again. It was probably sacrilegious to make a prayer in the middle of what they were doing, but he prayed anyway, to look the man in the eyes and have the strength to hold back. 

Grunting with the effort and feeling the strain in every single one of his muscles, Hanbin laid on his back. For a moment, the thought of making Hao straddle him facing backwards went through his head, but it was way too cruel, so he discarded it and, swallowing up his insecurities, he placed Hao on top of him, gripping his hips to steady him while Hanbin planted both his feet over the mess of rumpled fabrics underneath him so he could ram into him better. 

At this point, Hao was an incoherent wreckage of sobs, moans and gasps, eyelids shut tight as Hanbin split him open on his dick. His walls closed in around Hanbin, and the alpha couldn’t hold in a snarl, tensing his shoulders and abs, as a constant ebb of pleasure was building inside his stomach, and his hips bucked into his omega’s sweet hole. 

“ Fuck,” Hanbin uttered, jaw locked. A blurred vision of Hao as he let himself be used and pushed on Hanbin’s dick was something he was slightly aware of. A sting through his chest signaled Hao’s nails digging onto him, marking crescents through his pectorals. 

“Alpha, alpha, alpha,” Hao muttered nonstop, breathing out the syllables. 

“You’re so tight, baby,” Hanbin praised, as he could feel his cock barely fitting. How come was he this tight? It made Hanbin’s eyes roll to the back of his head and drove his hips up. His thighs ached, but Hanbin couldn’t stop, he had to keep going, had to knot him. “So perfect around me.” 

“Ngh,” Hao whined, tilting his head back, locking heady eyes with Hanbin and making his scent float, in a simple wish: yours, yours, yours. 

It was with great effort that Hanbin managed to turn his head to the side. He was faced with the happy sight of some sort of lump, and the gums of his teeth hurt, in a need so deep to mate with him that it physically pained him to deny Hao anything. Nothing made sense, all that Hanbin knew was that there was something in his mouth, that he had bitten whatever it was that had been beside him. Was it a pillow? It might have been a pillow. 

Above him, Hao’s whole body was tensing, freezing, and Hanbin couldn’t see him, but he had been acquainted with the sight of Hao coming so many times he knew by heart the expression of his face, with his soft, parted lips and milky pretty neck with a bite mark that wasn’t nearly deep enough to truly claim him turned to the ceiling in blind pleasure. The bite that was supposed to be on his neck was, instead, ripping open a pillow. 

And then, the loud, almost shrieking sound of a sob resounded, and Hanbin’s attention was pulled like a siren. And, like a sailor, the sound cast him in a spell. Hao’s body locked up around him, effectively trapping Hanbin’s knot inside of him so that none of them could escape. The pleasure of having Hao’s ass squeezing him was so intense it made a guttural, animalistic grunt spill through his ragged lips. 

There was no way he could move, he could only fuck his knot further, the swallowed head of his cock splitting Hao in two as the man cummed all over his stomach, the white spurts dirtying his stomach. 

Urban legend said that, whenever omegas were too into the throes of pleasure, at the height of their ecstasy, during the heat, they could lock their alpha in. The buildup and the pleasure were supposed to be so intense that their orgasms could last for a whole minute. This could be the only explanation for how Hao’s walls tightened so much it felt like Hanbin was suffocating. 

The knuckles of his fingers carved his imprints on Hao’s hips, and Hao was still coming, still closing in on Hanbin, enough to drag Hanbin’s breath away in a punch, making his vision dance with black spots. 

Hao’s orgasm dragged on and on, his whole body taut, overwhelmed by so much pleasure he seemed to almost be in pain. All the while, his cum spurted through his cock. One of Hanbin’s hands enclosed the tiny dick, wrist moving relentlessly to get Hao off. 

Hao fell forward, hands grasping Hanbin’s chest for support as he seemed to try to both try to get away and run toward the feeling of his ecstasy, caught between trying to lift his hips from Hanbin’s dick and meet the movement of his hands. 

“ Oh, alpha, no , please,” he begged, in a state of mind that spoke of nothing logical. 

Tears pooled on his eyelashes, but no sooner had they gathered, they trailed down his face, falling in quick succession, one after the other. 

Breaths and gasps echoed on the hollow of Hanbin’s collarbones, as the ghost of Hao’s lips touched him. 

At last, there was nothing left for Hanbin to give him. And so, he finally let pleasure take him, spilling into the omega and letting his eyes go black, his toes curling, in a last thrust upward. 

When he came to, insistent lips pressed against his face, wherever Hao could find a place to kiss him. Chants in an endless stream met Hanbin’s ears, so softly he thought he must have been mistaken. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Hao whispered through the space between them, as if Hanbin was the one deserving of this praise and such loving devotion, and Hanbin didn't know why he was being hailed as a God when he had never felt more like a human. “I love you,” Hao whispered over Hanbin’s numb lips, in a kiss that made his head spin more than when he had reached his peak. 

They were both still locked together, Hao locking him in as much and Hanbin knotting him, as they both breathed in together, moaning together as they tasted the remnants of the most intense orgasm any of them had ever felt. 

Breathless, Hao grazed his lips against Hanbin’s lips, trying to catch his breath. His eyes, once hazy, were now clear of any traces of his heat, and he gazed at Hanbin as he mumbled one last gasp of “I love you," before enveloping him in a dazzling kiss again.

And. 

And Hanbin could say it back and mean it, but he didn’t want to take advantage of Hao and the last clouds of heat that still addled his brain and made him think that what he was feeling was really love. 

Hanbin was a merciful person and he wouldn’t take advantage of his hyung like this. 

“ Mhm - ,“ Hanbin moaned into Hao’s mouth, trying to get away, to answer something back, but Hao was too eager, too high to want to part. 

“Bin, love you,” he mumbled again, and Hanbin took the moment to drag his mouth through the older’s collarbones. He breathed in and out the combination of their scents on Hao’s skin, but it only helped to make him even more dragged into the pits of insanity again, as if its cuffs refused to release him from their grip. “Love you,” he kept mumbling like a mantra, and Hanbin couldn’t stand to listen to the sound of those words coming from those lips anymore, so he had to kiss him again so as not to be followed in his sleep by the sound. 

The slight curve of a smile, delicate and unstoppable, came to fruition on Hanbin’s face. 

“Is that your way of thanking me now, hyung? No need,” he said, unable to look at anything that wasn’t Hao’s lips. “You’re welcome.” 

And suddenly, the once sweet kiss turned sour. Comfortable air turned stale, and Hao turned his head away. “Oh,” he exclaimed, gaze cast down. 

And Hanbin knew why he was reacting like this, but Hao didn’t mean what he said. In an attempt to appease him, Hanbin dropped one last kiss on Hao’s shoulders, inhaling in his scent, and murmured over his beckoning nakedness, in a low, muffled tone, that left far too little to the imagination. “Love you too, hyung.” 

The cold, clammy skin underneath his palms didn’t seem to think his apologies were enough. 

He could see the curve of Hao’s neck, where he’d almost bitten into, as his throat bobbed up and down in a gulp. Frowning, Hao flinched from the touch. Hanbin tried not to show how much that affected him. 

“Is there something wrong?” he asked, knowing there was. 

“ Yes,” Hao laughed. The sound was watery, like he was on the edge of crying. “But don’t worry. I know how to read a cue, Hanbin.” 

“Read a cue?” Hanbin asked, trying to meet Hao’s gaze again. 

“You don’t want me,” Hao stated, in simple terms. The unwavering of his voice had a note of hollowness. 

“I - ,” Hanbin had difficulty in finding the right words, and everything he felt got stuck in his throat, too many emotions bottled up, fighting to try to escape. “I do. I want you so much, love you so much. You just don’t know what you’re saying. You said before we came here: ‘ this doesn’t have to mean anything’ . I don’t know how it suddenly means something to you.”

Hao rolled his eyes, frantically gesticulating with his hands. “I was just saying that so that you wouldn’t overthink things! Which was clearly the wrong thing to say, now that I know how you took it.”

“I wasn’t overthinking, I just thought you didn’t - I thought it was only…” Hanbin sputtered, squinting and confused. 

“You were overthinking,” Hao summarized, falling face first on the hard chest underneath him. The action was so comfortable it pulled something straight out of Hanbin’s heart. 

“This doesn’t make sense,” Hanbin spoke under his breath, gazing at the ceiling. Distracted, he let his fingers trace the ridges of Hao’s spine, one by one, from the small of his back to the nape of his neck. When the journey of his hands was done, his pam cradled Hao’s face and took him out of his hideout, perching the omega’s chin on his own pectorals so that they could properly look at each other. “I think the doctor’s talk about true mates affected you.” It was harder to be honest when Hao’s deep, soul-searching eyes seemed to drink Hanbin in. The quiet hurt reflected on Hao’s expression made Hanbin stroke his hair. “A few days from now, you’ll see how the days we spent together all meant nothing. That you really don’t love me after all. And you’ll move on with your life and be alright, as if nothing happened.”

A small twist on his lips, downturned, creeped its way to Hao’s face. “And what about you?” Hao asked. “You’ll be alright in a few days too?”

“I’ll - I’ll be less alright, but I’ll be alright too, eventually,” Hanbin managed to say, squeezing Hao’s arm. 

“Hanbin,” Hao’s eyelids shut and he took a deep breath, and Hanbin could feel his desperation and frustration. “I’m telling you how I feel.” The moment he looked at Hanbin, Hanbin could see how he was trying so much to convey his message. He glanced at random spots of Hanbin’s face, gathering what he could find, taking notice of him, and Hanbin had never felt more seen. “I love you. Is that so hard to understand? I don't need a doctor to tell me when I know how I feel about you since we met. Who cares about those true mates stories? Don't you feel it too?” A sheen of unshed tears started to gather. The scent of his frustration was palpable in the air. “I'm yours, and you're mine. Please. I'm so tired of hiding how I feel when I know you feel the same. It’s frustrating.” He lifted his hands, cradling Hanbin’s face and bringing them as close as they could. 

All of the breath was knocked out of Hanbin. 

“Can't you see?” Hao asked, looking like an amalgam of all things good, nude from head to toe and perched on Hanbin’s knot. He was lovely. “It's useless to run away. Don't run . Just be mine.”

At this moment, even if refusal was within his reach, Hanbin wouldn’t have taken it. He could barely even blink, too stunned by Hao to be able to muster anything to say. 

“Okay,” he saw himself saying. 

“Okay?” 

“Okay,” Hanbin said, as a smile already made its way through his face. Unstoppable and grand. “Okay,” he repeated, and, not knowing what to do, he let a bubbly laughter escape from the depths of his chest, as he brought Hao closer, where he belonged, where he was Hanbin’s and Hanbin was his. 

The kiss was less a kiss and more a meeting of two mouths trying to muffle each other’s twinkling giggles. Gentle hands on soft hair. 

True mates might have been an invention, made-up stories for children who believed in love, and forever might have been a concept far too abstract for two people so young to be able to fully grasp. Anyway, Hanbin was too tired to try to grasp it. He had already lost too much time with things of no importance. Maybe they didn’t need everlasting love, or fairy tales, or anything too far out of the ordinary. Maybe, the warmth they felt underneath their fingertips was enough: palpable, tangible. Reachable. 

Extras! 

“I was thinking… We should keep that collar.”

“Hm?” Hanbin let out a confused chuckle. “What would we do with that, hyung?”

“I don’t know… I liked the way you bound my wrists that time.”

“You - want me to use that collar to bind you.”

“You have such great ideas, Hanbin-ah. We definitely should use the collar to bind me.” 

“Wow,” Matthew’s jaw slacked as he took a look at them. “No wonder our manager was ripping his hair out.”

Gunwook’s eyes went from one to the other, awkwardly. “Have you guys looked in the mirror?”

Planted in the middle of the living room, Gyuvin didn’t blink, too stunned by the sight in front of him to seemingly remember where he was supposed to go. “I don’t think they should.”

“Hyungs are home?” An eager and sweet voice spoke from the depth of one of the rooms. Quick steps resonated through the floor, and the slight frame of their maknae soon appeared. His sparkling eyes took one glance at them and lost all of their gleam. He turned his back to the room at large. “I’m getting out of here.”

The reaction, at least, upset Gyuvin. “You scared the baby!” he yelled, turning to Hanbin and Hao as if it was their fault, pointing to Yujin’s retreating shoulders (it was, it absolutely was their fault). 

Blessedly ignoring the people around him to solely focus on his strawberry ice cream, Ricky murmured ominously, “They scared everyone.”

“I don’t think I wanna be here either,” Matthew commented with a disgusted look. 

Taerae put a hand on his friend’s shoulder in unfortunate companionship. “You don’t,” he said, looking haunted. “No one does.” 

At this point, Hanbin was taken by both frustration and embarrassment. Heat dusted his cheeks. “Can you guys just… drop it?” he managed to ask. 

Like an angel coming down to Earth to cast his heavenly light upon them, Jiwoong came to their rescue. “Guys,” he said calmly. “They’re in love. Let them be.” 

“Awn,” Hao cooed at their savior, clutching Hanbin’s arm harder and laying his head on his shoulder. The dust of pink on Hanbin’s cheeks became a wild fire spreading through his whole face. “Thanks, hyung. Good to know someone around here actually respects love.”

“Love?” asked Gyuvin. 

“Love?” asked Gunwook. 

“ Love?” asked Matthew, mouth on the floor. 

“Yeah,” Hanbin muttered, embarrassed beyond belief. Hao preened by his side. The look in his eyes as he looked at Hanbin was so shiny Hanbin felt under the spotlight. “Something like that,” he admitted, staring back at Hao with that same look.