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Peggy Carter was preparing her usual evening cup of tea. Her routine was to make the tea and sit down with the newspaper before trying to come up with something for dinner. Sometimes Mr. and Mrs. Jarvis called her and invited her over for a home cooked dinner, which she was always grateful for. Not only was Peggy a terrible cook, she also never had the energy to cook for herself after a day at the office or in the field.
The only problem was that the Jarvises were out of town this week on a much-needed vacation. Not only did she have to fend for herself this week, Peggy also missed them terribly. She missed their company and Edwin Jarvis’s assistance and companionship on her missions. She didn’t like to admit how much she needed them.
Dinner time would come, and Peggy would have to figure it out, but tea time came first. She turned off the stove and poured her tea into the cup, and added a dash of milk and sugar. It was nights like this, alone in her new home in Columbia Heights, that she actually felt lonely. Howard Stark lived in Los Angeles, the Jarvises were out of town, and Angie Martinelli still lived in New York City.
This was also why she and Daniel Sousa had broken up. He was still in Los Angeles, and she was in Washington, DC. Why the SSR decided to separate them, she would never understand. It wasn’t even that they had moved in together, but they had been almost inseparable for the year they had been together. They spent most of their days together at work and then on dates. As soon as she was transferred back east, it put a strain on their relationship. But it didn’t matter anymore; she was over him, and he must have been over her enough to have married Violet already. That stung, and the breakup also still hurt her heart.
And as much as she really had loved Daniel, she couldn’t love him fully or with all her heart, and it really wasn’t fair to him that he was always compared to someone she had loved and lost. It wasn’t fair to Daniel to be compared to someone who was gone forever, who no other man could ever live up to. Peggy knew that Daniel loved her more than she ever could love him, and she really had tried. Daniel didn’t even seem to mind that he was her second love - it was unkind to say he was second best, but he didn’t seem to mind that either. He just seemed happy that he got to be with her, which Peggy thought was very sweet of him - and she really had tried her best to love him like he deserved.
He just wasn’t…him.
But he was gone forever, and couldn’t come back, couldn’t love her anymore the way she loved him still. Perhaps it was a bit pathetic that she loved someone who was gone, and that she compared every man she met to him, and tried to honor him every way she could, every day.
Even Peggy admitted to herself that it was a bit ridiculous that she could still be lonely in this busy capital city, surrounded by all kinds of people, and always busy with work. Thank goodness the Jarvises had moved out here with her. Howard thought she needed them more than he did.
It wasn’t even that she missed Daniel, either. She missed being cared for and being loved, but she didn’t miss the ache of their breakup and now all she had was the loneliness without him. She didn’t miss the long distance relationship that they fought to keep alive. She could have been some form of happy with him. She could have loved him in her way and he could have loved her.
But she had moved on and he had married Violet. Peggy was glad that Violet had taken him back; Daniel deserved to be happy, and so did Violet. But their wedding announcement only made the loneliness sting a little more.
Why couldn’t she be happy? Why had fate taken away the man she had loved more than anything? Her match, her heart, her equal, her darling, her Steve. When she was alone, it was when she missed him the most, and she had nothing and no one to distract her from the emptiness in her house, her heart, and her life.
Peggy had never had the chance to imagine a post-war life with Steve - a marriage, jobs, a house, perhaps even children. She couldn’t even see how he would’ve fit in with her life now, with her job at the SSR and coming home to him every night. He was always more than that. Where would life have taken him after the war? What would he do? Would she have been by his side? She certainly hoped so.
There had only been hopes of dancing and having him hold her in his arms, his hands on her waist or her hips, or his fingers in her hair, his palms on her cheek. There had been dreams of kissing - before and after their only real kiss.
Peggy had wondered if his lips were as soft and delicious as they had looked. She had dreamed of a deeper kiss than the one they’d shared, one with exploring tongues and little sighs and gasps into each other. If this one kiss was all she could have from Steve, it was one she would cherish forever.
She missed the way he looked at her with a mix of desire and respect, attraction, adoration, and admiration all in his blue eyes and his smile. She hoped he knew that she loved him, and she didn’t just want a dance and a date, she wanted him. All of him.
A tear slipped down her cheek. She wiped it and took a sip of her tea. She had to let go. She had to let him go. She couldn’t keep crying over a man who had died in 1945. She couldn’t. She thought pouring his blood into the East River had been letting go and saying goodbye, but she went on loving him anyway. He would love him forever.
Peggy carried her tea into her living room, setting the cup and saucer on her antique coffee table, and she sat down on her couch, and pulled the newspaper toward her. She had barely gotten through the headline when there was a sudden knock at her door. She couldn’t imagine who it could be. The Jarvises wouldn’t be back for a few more days and they certainly would have called before coming over. Howard and anyone at work also would have called. She set down the newspaper again and rose to her feet, smoothing down her red skirt, and opened the front door.
Peggy’s heart stopped, and her breath hitched in her throat. This couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be him.
Steve Rogers gave her a shy smile, and looked like he was having an equally difficult time even breathing with her so close after so long. His navy blue button-down shirt made his eyes look even more blue, and a tear slipped down his cheek. There was nothing between them, not time, not glass, not distance or an ocean or a war. There was only this one step. Peggy’s heart jumped as she watched his tear fall, and she had to stop herself from reaching for his cheek to wipe away whatever was making her darling Steve cry. Was it the mere sight of her?
“Steve…?” she finally managed.
His heart felt like it could break at the softness of her voice and the way she looked at him with such disbelief and such tenderness. She was so beautiful. She always had been, but seeing her smile like this at him, and the way her eyes shone at him - she was even more stunning. Like all he had ever wanted was right there - just one step away, if only he could be brave enough to tell her how much he really loved her and how he was here only for her.
“Yeah, it’s me,” he said. “Peggy…”
He couldn’t hold back anymore and he reached for her, and Peggy threw her arms around his neck. He hugged her around her waist, lifting her off her feet, and nestled his face into her perfect dark curls.
“I missed you,” she said, her voice muffled by burying her face into his neck. “How is this possible? You’ve been gone…”
“I missed you too,” he replied. “I’ll tell you everything, I promise. But I believe I owe you a dance?” He set her down and Peggy pulled him inside by the hand, not even bothering to close the door. She turned on her radio and a slow jazzy love song filled the air. She was in his arms again and they turned and swayed to the music. Every lyric filled her heart with words she wanted to say to him, and she couldn’t imagine a more perfect song to dance to.
Never thought that you would be
Standing here so close to me
There's so much I feel that I should say
But words can wait until some other day
Steve understood then why couples thought dancing was intimate and romantic, and why he had waited for the right partner to hold close like this. Lyrics meant so much, music made him feel things more deeply, and she was everything to him here in his arms. She was the right partner, she was the one.
Kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again
It's been a long, long time
Haven't felt like this, my dear since I can't remember when
It's been a long, long time
She tilted her head up and looked into his eyes, and he kissed her softly and sweetly.
“I love you,” he told her. “I’ve always loved you.”
“I love you too, Steve.”
You'll never know how many dreams I've dreamed about you
Or just how empty they all seemed without you
So kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again
It's been a long, long time
Peggy’s heart had never felt this full. Steve was here, and he loved her. He had come back for a dance, a hug, and a kiss, and there was nothing to pull them apart, to break her heart, and nothing to stop her from loving him back, and loving him completely. A tear slipped down her cheek, and Steve reached up to wipe it away. “Oh, Peg…” He kissed her again, and stopped their dance just to hold her. “I’m not going anywhere, if you don’t want me to. I’ll stay with you, if you’ll have me.”
“Please stay, my darling.”
Darling. She had never called him anything so sweet before, and it made him weak in the knees for her. He was her darling. He wondered how long she had thought of him as such, and he also felt like he needed a term of endearment for her immediately, although none of them seemed good enough for how much he loved her. She was more than a sweetheart, and calling her baby was much too modern. He really shouldn’t be worrying about a nickname when she was so beautiful, breathing, solid yet soft, and alive in his arms.
He had never held her like this, although he had never held any woman like this. But she was much more precious and perfect than anyone he had ever met, and now that she was here, he never wanted to stop touching her. He felt like an extension of himself had been returned to him.
He thought once that he no longer wanted this life, but it had also been after he had been revived from the ice and he had lost his chance with Peggy. If he couldn’t have her, he didn’t want this life at all. But once he realized it was possible to see her again, he wanted this all over again. He wanted it all - to date her, to marry her, to have kids with her. He would even skip dating and marry her immediately; that’s how sure he was that she was the one. He’d met all those USO girls in the ‘40s, and all the women in the future, and still the only girl he ever wanted was Peggy.
Steve smiled and kissed her. “I’ll stay.” He rested his forehead against hers and cupped her cheeks. “I love you so much. Now tell me - when did you start thinking of me as darling?”
“And you still have to tell me how you’re back.” Peggy took a few steps and shut her front door, realizing how silly it was to have her door wide open to her living room while they shared their dance.
“I will,” he replied with a smile. Steve took her hand and led her over to her couch. They sat together, and Peggy couldn’t help her heart from skipping a few beats as he pulled her into his arms. She didn’t even realize how much she had longed just to cuddle up in his arms, and how secure she felt right here in this moment with him holding her. “It’s quite a long story, so you go first,” he said.
Peggy thought back to the war, and wondered herself when she referred to him as her darling in her mind. She wasn’t even sure she could pinpoint an occasion, only when she knew she loved him. “I always thought you were sweet, that you were cute,” she confessed, “But I think when we were reunited on the front in Europe, before you rescued all those men. You were darling to me then, and every moment after.” She flushed at her own admission, making her own blush cheeks even pinker. “And I believe I loved you from the moment you threw yourself on the ground around the grenade, willing to sacrifice yourself to save us.”
Steve’s lips parted in a gasp and then he leaned in for a kiss. She loved him before the serum. It wasn’t just Captain America she loved, or the taller, more muscular version of himself. “I loved you the first time I saw you - as a recruit, when you marched onto the field and introduced yourself. I was a goner. I just…never thought you’d look twice at me.”
“Steve, even if you weren’t the one chosen for the serum, I would’ve loved you. Even if you’d been placed in an office job at the SSR, I still would have fallen for you. It would be a very different world without you as Captain America, but I would’ve loved you.”
Steve had never been able to get a date - unless it was a blind and double date set up by Bucky, and he couldn’t believe that the most beautiful woman in the universe would have loved him with or without the serum. But her love wasn’t shallow, and not based on his muscles, stature, or his face, but on his heart; just as he didn’t just love her because she was beautiful. She was kind, strong, brilliant, and gorgeous - and no wonder he still couldn’t get her out of his head, even seventy-some years later. She was worth waiting for, time traveling for, and giving up everything for.
He leaned in for another kiss, which she happily accepted and returned, until she placed her hand on his chest. “Darling,” she said softly, into his lips, and then pulled back. “You promised to tell me how you’re back.”
“Right,” he said, and cleared his throat, and he pressed his lips to hers again.
Peggy laughed and pulled away again. “We’ll have plenty of time for that,” she said, “after you tell me everything. I love you, and I love kissing you, I promise.”
“I would hope so,” he said, and then he dove into the story. He told her how he was saved from the ice in 2011, how he joined forces with the Avengers, fought with them and against them, and how he saw her again when she was older. He also told her about Thanos and the great war that had to be Steve’s last, and how he decided to come back to 1949 to be with her.
It took a long time to tell her everything, and there were many times that Peggy had to stop him and ask questions about space travel, extra-terrestrials, time travel, about Steve’s friends, and about seeing her again. He didn’t want to go into detail about seeing Peggy in her old age and how she had memory loss, and how she eventually died. Steve didn’t want to think about losing her again when she was youthful, warm, and perfect in his arms, and oh-so kissable, staring at up with all the love in the world in her dark brown eyes as he told her where he’d been.
“I had given up on settling down and having a family,” he said. “I even thought I didn’t want it, until I saw you from a distance and all I wanted to do was to run up to you and hold you. Then I realized I could see you again and that it was possible to have that life I wanted. That’s why I decided not to go back to 2023, and to stay here with you.”
“I’m so glad you did,” she said. “Thank you for choosing me, Steve.”
“I’d choose you a thousand times, Peg,” he said. “I just didn’t know I could have this.”
“You’ve been through so much and still you just wanted me?”
Steve shifted and reached into his breast pocket. “Of course, Peg,” he said. “I carried you with me in every fight.” He showed her the compass she’d once seen in promotional footage during the war. Her headshot from a wartime newspaper article still stared back at her, although now it looked a bit faded. “You got me through all these years - your strength and resilience, your heart, your love.”
“Oh, Steve…” Peggy reached up and cupped his cheeks in both of her hands. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he replied. “Now you can tell me what I missed - everything about you now. I didn’t expect to find you in Washington.”
“The SSR has transferred me everywhere. I spent a year in New York, a year in Los Angeles, and now I’m here. I don’t mind seeing parts of the country, but this is the only place that’s felt like home.” She told him about her work with the SSR, Leviathan, Fenhoff, Howard Stark, about Whitney Frost and her husband, about zero matter, about Jason Wilkes, about Daniel Sousa, Jack Thompson, Dottie Underwood, and Angie Martinelli. Steve listened intently and only tensed slightly when she brought up her and Daniel’s romance. “If I had known you were coming back, I wouldn’t have allowed myself to feel anything for Daniel.”
“Peggy, it’s okay. I didn’t know it was possible - and I wouldn’t have wanted you to be alone or unhappy,” he said.
This earned Steve a kiss, finally, after a long-winded discussion and no kissing. “We never have to be alone ever again,” she said.
“Thank goodness,” he said. They kissed again. “Peg, you will marry me, won’t you?”
“Of course I will,” she said. “I would love to.”
Steve really did feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Peggy Carter was going to be his wife, and they’d never have to be alone again. Though he missed his friends and some things about the future, he was happy at last just to sit here on her couch and hold this incredible woman in his arms. She leaned into him, also finally content with her home and her life, now that he was here. She could be happy now.
They could live happily ever after, and they did.