Chapter Text
Nancy couldn’t speak the whole time she was stuck in that room. She couldn’t leave either, but that was more because Robin had a death grip on her arm than any inability to move. Quite different from whatever was clogging up her throat. She hated it, how she couldn’t say a word. She was Nancy Wheeler. She didn’t back down from a single challenge from going after Steve Harrington back in sophomore year to going for that newspaper internship that her school counsellor had scoffed at the mere idea of her being able to land to deciding that she shouldn’t have to decide and pushing into a relationship with the two boys she adored.
So why was watching her boyfriend stare blankly around the room as the doctor asked him a few questions, most of which he couldn’t seem to answer, so difficult? Why was watching him piece together recognition of his mother, of Robin (that was unfair. Nancy knew it but she couldn’t get rid of the thought), of his brother once Will finally pulled out a drawing to hand him so hard. Especially since he still looked at her with such confusion. He didn’t ask. And she couldn’t either. She knew she was digging her own grave here by refusing to try and help. But it felt like her heart was in a million pieces. Like everything worth saying or knowing had vanished and all she could see was that he didn’t know her.
“We should go,” she finally forced the words out, standing abruptly, dragging Robin up with her as she refused to let go of her arm and cutting the poor girl off mid-sentence.
“Oh, honey, you don’t…”
“I should get home,” Nancy couldn’t take any more of Joyce’s eyes. She hated cutting her off, the only one who knew the truth about the three of them before this summer. Jonathan had told her and Steve eventually shared their secret with Robin. It hit Nancy that she had told nobody . Nobody that she chose to confide in. She just agreed with her boy’s choices. What did that say about her?
She started across the room, still shaky, but a voice stopped her. “Nancy?” She couldn’t help it. She froze. “Am I… Am I wrong?” Jonathan sounded so terrified in that moment, so small, that she spun right around.
“Yes,” Nancy said, hope overflowing from her voice. She took a small step forward as she saw a small smile appear on his face, but stopped when it immediately dropped again as Jonathan tilted his head. The confusion hadn’t faded in the slightest and he was blinking slowly, clearly tired already from the little bit of time he had been awake. “You-” she took a deep breath, steadying herself before her voice could slip away once again. “You recognize me, right? You know who I am?”
Jonathan stared at her for a long moment before he finally said, “I should.” Fuck, that hurt. “I do. I just…” He huffed, eyes finally dropping away as he finished, “There’s more. I can feel it. I just don’t remember. Why…”
His voice cracked and Joyce swooped in, startling him as she smoothed her hands over his face with soft murmurs. Nancy’s eyes darted to the side, to where Will was watching his family, brow furrowed as he did so. It wasn’t long though before she could finally pull Robin forward and out of the room.
“Okay, what gives?” Robin finally asked when the elevator doors closed, blocking off that dreadful hallway. Nancy turned to look at her, trying to process the question at first but then trying to think of an answer. But Robin didn’t give her a chance before she continued, “I know it sucks. Okay, I don’t exactly know know. I’m not the one dating a guy with sudden memory issues. But your other boyfriend is. And, yes, people react differently in stressful situations, but how you are acting, Nancy, it is like you are shutting down.”
“I’m not shutting down,” Nancy snapped back, knowing her face was absolutely wiping every emotion but the sudden redness from her anger away.
“You are,” Robin started to counter with a raised eyebrow.
“Am not,” Nancy cut her off again. She knew it was childish, but she could not do this right now.
The elevator dinged and Nancy huffed as she hurried out, but Robin still trailed behind because she couldn’t take a fucking hint apparently, “Just talk to Steve about it is all I’m saying, Nancy. What is the worst that could happen?”
Nancy could think of plenty worse that could happen. One of them had led to the situation that was upstairs in the fucking hospital right now. So she chose not to acknowledge Robin anymore, ignoring her as they got in the car to leave and the whole way home. But she should have guessed that Robin was the type not to leave well enough alone. Not even two hours after she dropped Robin off at her house and her mom was calling up the stairs that Steve was there to see her. He looked rightly terrified when he glanced over at where she paused halfway down the stairs, making casual conversation with her mom. Her mom raised an eyebrow at her but Nancy just said, “We’ll be upstairs,” and turned to head back to her room.
“Keep the door open!” her mom called after them, an order that Nancy promptly ignored.
Steve wandered over to sit on her bed when she didn’t, fiddling with a couple of items on her dresser. After a long moment of awkward silence, she finally spat, “Did Robin call you?”
“Yes, but does that matter,” Steve huffed. “You aren’t the only one who is dealing with this, you know. So why are you keeping it in?” When Nancy turned her glare to him, he simply raised an eyebrow back, “What? You are the one who said we never talk about things and that is why you felt so isolated and alone after you lost Barb. Cause I just wanted to pretend and be normal. You wanted to fix the situation. It took Jonathan to actually get us to communicate back then. But you were constantly insisting on trying to talk to me until my brushing you off caused you to nearly give up. I’ve learned better. So,” he spread his arms out in what probably was meant to be a welcoming gesture, even if it wasn’t very welcome to Nancy at that moment, “I’m here. Talk to me.”
Nancy stared at him for a long moment, unsure of what to even say. Finally, she all but collapsed on the bed next to him, still silent as she gathered her thoughts. Steve, thankfully, stayed quiet. Not filling the void with his own voice for once. Which was an unfair thought, Nancy knew that. He had his reasons for avoiding the quiet, they all had their habits spurned from childhood issues and reacting to the monsters of both this world and others. But he waited, which made her feel more seen than any of his speech really did because he was following through now.
“I don’t know why it is so hard,” Nancy all but whispered, rubbing one hand over the knee of her jeans as she did so. “Seeing him but him not seeing me. And I know it isn’t me-specific. I know that. But Jonathan has always seemed to know everything about everyone. He may struggle sometimes with why people do stuff, but he is so quiet and just picks up the oddest jobs everywhere. He knew about you and Tommy and your antics back in middle school, long before you even pieced together why Tommy did what he did…”
“Boys with crushes…” Steve muttered to himself but didn’t interrupt her, still listening.
“...He knew where the boys were sneaking off to at the beginning of the summer out to Weathertop. He knew about why Mr Chandlers got fired and why Ms Robinson left last year before we even knew either were gone. Fuck, he even recognized Robin briefly today! I had no idea who she was when we first met at Starcourt outside of as your coworker. But he knew her!” When Steve shifted slightly, Nancy narrowed her eyes at him, “What?”
“They were locker neighbours,” Steve said with a little shrug.
Nancy kept staring, even as she processed that piece of info. “Fuck,” she finally said, dropping her head into her hands. After a moment, she lifted her head, “She’s forgiven me, right?”
“I mean, she sleeps in your bed or you end up in hers most nights, so I would hope so,” Steve idly commented.
She huffed out a laugh, leaning against his side, “Jealous, Harrington?”
“Oh, that is a question I don’t intend to ever even think about the answer ever again.” Steve dropped a kiss on the top of her head, but his easy grin slid down before he spoke again, “I know, Nancy. But there has been improvement according to Mrs Byers. Well, according to the doctor really. Speaking with him more, visiting him more. It is helping. He still needs a moment to place you, but if you actually try speaking to him, the doctor is saying it will help.”
Nancy bit her lip as she contemplated that. Steve was always more the talker of their trio. Robin complimented him like that. Filling the world with words, meaningless or otherwise. Nancy’s words always had a purpose, more meaning. She hated being written off or misunderstood, preferring to be direct when speaking to someone anymore. Jonathan had always been even more conservative with his words, partially because of his lack of people in most of his life, partially because of his natural shyness, and partially because of his uncontrollable non-verbal tendencies. His words tended to be softer when used, similar to when Robin put meaning behind her rambles. Nancy and Steve were always sharper, but Steve could probably cover up his mean tendencies behind more blather if needed. It scared her that she might say the wrong thing and hurt him. But as she felt Steve’s fingers lace with her own, she knew she needed to try harder.