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"See, Snips? We made it out just fine."
Ahsoka crinkled her nose as Anakin pulled R2-D2 out of the narrow rocky passage they'd found. "I don't know, Ventress still has our lightsabers."
Anakin set R2-D2 down and put a hand on Ahsoka's shoulder. "I know it's disappointing, but the important thing is that we're alive. Now we just need to contact Obi-Wan so they know we're not hostages."
He watched his padawan's face twist before she sighed in acceptance. "Okay. But we're going back for the lightsabers, right?"
"Let's see what our orders are."
In truth, Anakin wanted their lightsabers and identichits back just as badly as Ahsoka did, but Ventress had threatened his padawan and he'd panicked badly enough to pull down the roof. The best case scenario was that their lightsabers were somewhere in the rubble and would be found when the GAR picked through for intel. The worst case was that Ventress had taken them with her and they'd end up with Grievous. At least the Separatists didn't have anyone who was a close enough physical match to either of them to abuse the identichits.
«It is alarming that Ventress has a base on neutral territory,» R2-D2 remarked as they walked over one of Zaroob's ubiquitous patches of basalt field.
"The Zaroobians barely have the manpower to run the settlement. If she's landed in an inconspicuous spaceship, they couldn't distinguish her from the regular smugglers. And the forest on top would block most scans." As well as being so relaxing that it felt impossible that a dark sider would set up camp here.
"Why would the Republic maintain a presence on a smugglers' heaven?"
Anakin smiled. "Back in the High Republic era, they discovered a hyperlane leading off Zaroob, and thought this would become a flourishing trade port. As a result, they built a gravity hook and staffed it. The hyperlane ended up being a dud, though, and Zaroob never joined the Republic, so there's a gravity hook that's Republic territory in the middle of a smugglers' world."
"Huh." Ahsoka frowned, likely trying to figure out which mission briefing that would've been in.
"Obi-Wan and I came here when I was seventeen," Anakin revealed. "We arrested a Republic citizen as part of the '53 spice trade cleanup."
"Did that stop anything?"
"Well, temporarily."
They'd reached the top of the hill. Anakin peered out into the distance and tried to listen to the Force while R2-D2 scanned the surroundings. What could only be the gravity hook peeked up from above the tops of the trees.
«Three hours of walking. Even you feeble organics should be able to manage that,» R2-D2 declared.
"Thanks, Artoo." The Force hadn't shouted anything at Anakin, so they were probably good to go. "Let's hope everything goes well."
The hike through the serene forest was not a problem, Jedi that they were, but the hours of captivity and torture at Ventress's hands had worn at them. Ahsoka was stumbling a bit by the time they reached Hook City, and Anakin was only making it through on the protective instinct that insisted his padawan sleep first.
Finally they reached the gravity hook's entry queue. Anakin started to have a bad feeling about it, the source of which became apparent when they reached the immigrations officer.
"Papers, please," the balding apparatchik said. Inside, he was consumed by patriotic fervor.
"I am Jedi Anakin Skywalker, and this is my padawan learner Ahsoka Tano and astromech R2-D2. Our identichits were stolen by a Separatist assassin."
The apparatchik leaned forward. "And you expect me to believe you?"
"Please, we just need a comm connection to the Jedi Council," Ahsoka said.
Anakin felt doubt crystallize in the apparatchik's veins. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and reached out with the Force. The pile of datapads to the apparatchik's left rose into the air, twirled around the apparatchik once, and settled back.
The apparatchik looked reluctantly impressed. He clicked at his screen. "Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano?"
"Yes."
The man looked at their faces and the screen, comparing them to their official pictures. "Birthdate and place."
"6th day of tenthmonth, 7941 Hosnian reckoning, on Shili."
"23rd day of fourthmonth, 7936 Hosnian, Sleheyron."
The moment the words left Anakin's mouth, his padawan turned to look at him in confusion and the immigrations officer snorted. "Nice try. Go away before I write you up for impersonating a government official."
"But-"
Anakin silenced Ahsoka with a hand on her shoulder and shook his head at her. Given the zeal with which the apparatchik was performing his job, a mind trick wouldn't work, either. They'd have to find another way.
In the alley behind the gravity hook, Ahsoka asked, "Why didn't he let us in?"
"He's doing his duty to keep Seppies out," Anakin said. "I haven't actually looked at my Republic identity documents; it's possible Master Jinn got the date conversion wrong and my official birthday's off."
"Oh." Ahsoka sighed. "How do we get in, then?"
"We don't need to get in, we just need to comm the Council," Anakin replied. "Artoo can find a port and then Obi-Wan can come vouch for us."
«That would be hard,» R2-D2 said. «The gravity hook is very well guarded. Especially any transmission ports.»
"Uh." Anakin pinched his brow and paced. "Artoo, you're a part of the Naboo delegation, aren't you? Could you use your diplomatic credentials to bypass the immigrations desk?"
R2-D2 spun around for a moment. «Impossible. All droids with diplomatic clearance must be accompanied to the gravity hook under local law.»
Ahsoka sighed. "And it's not like you can adopt us. Great."
"I think the local rules were really odd about droids, but no, I don't think so."
«Actually...»
Anakin and Ahsoka spun to face R2-D2. "‘Actually’ what?"
«Zaroob does allow droids to sign legal contracts, but only organics may adopt.»
"What ...sorts of legal contracts can droids sign here?" Anakin asked. He had a sense that he was about to be the butt of some cosmic joke.
«Marriage contracts,» R2-D2 said. «Organic Anakin Skywalker, will you marry noble R2-D2? You could then adopt organic Ahsoka and we could return to the Republic under the auspices of Nabooan citizenship.»
Anakin stared at R2-D2, mouth agape. "I- what? Did you just-?"
«Marry me, organic!»
"I..." Anakin wanted to cry. It was the fastest way to the Republic and would let them inform Obi-Wan of their survival, but he'd just spent hours getting tortured and marching on an empty stomach and he had a padawan to feed so he shouldn't collapse or scream and-
"Yes," he said, because R2-D2 had a plan, and Anakin didn't want to do any thinking.
"Congratulations!" Ahsoka said. "Uh, do you need to find an official?"
«Benevolent R2-D2 has downloaded a map of the city. There is a magistrate three streets over. Rejoice, organics, for the time of our freedom is nigh!»
"After we've signed the papers, can we get a dinner reception?" Anakin asked.
«Calculating. At local prices, the discretionary funding I can access covers takeout.»
Anakin and Ahsoka's stomachs growled in chorus. "Takeout is fine," Ahsoka said.
They plodded over to the magistrate – a dingy building made of stones. There was no queue. A bored human woman sat behind a desk.
"Excuse me," Anakin said. "Does someone here officiate marriage?"
The woman tapped at her datapad. "That would be me. You and-"
"-the droid."
The woman raised an eyebrow. "Sure. Fill in the paperwork."
Anakin caught the datapad and entered his details – name, birthdate, homeworld, mother's approximate birthdate and homeworld, father unknown – then handed it over to R2-D2, who uploaded all his data right into the port. "Is that all?"
The woman pressed her thumb to the pad. It beeped. "Yes. Congratulations on your marriage, ah, R2-D2 and Anakin Skywalker." She raised an eyebrow. "Any relation to the Jedi?"
"I'm also here to adopt Ahsoka here." Anakin pulled Ahsoka forward and ignored the woman's question.
"You need her parents to sign things over, kid."
"I'm an orphan."
"Well, in that case..." The woman gave them some more paperwork to sign, but it only took five more minutes for Ahsoka to officially be Anakin's daughter.
They made their excuses and headed off in search of food before they actually collapsed. Some consulting the map later they found a place that did grilled lizards on a stick that could be persuaded to leave some lizards ungrilled for Ahsoka.
Anakin vacuumed up his skewer of lizards and the complementary flatbread with an unidentifiable vegetable. He had faint recollections of not liking the meal the first time he'd visited, but in his current state of starvation, it was delicious. Especially the charred bits.
Ahsoka burped and stretched out on her back. "So, dad, do you think there's a transport here we could appropriate?"
"...dad?!" Anakin screeched.
"Don't tell me you regret the adoption already!" Ahsoka melodramatically flung herself to the ground.
"Ha ha." Anakin rolled his eyes. "Very well, daughter, since you're so full of energy, let's go deal with the immigration officer."
They traipsed back to the gravity hook, in significantly better spirits now that they'd consumed some sustenance. Anakin felt amusement waft off his padawan, which, well, things could be much worse. He was glad she could find the humor in the situation.
"You will need real papers to get past the checkpoint," the same immigrations officer told them when they came to his desk.
R2-D2 plugged in. A moment later, the apparatchik nodded. "Welcome to the gravity hook, Representative R2-D2. Your husband and daughter are free to accompany you."
"Thank you," Anakin said and bowed. R2-D2 beeped something rude.
There was no queue inside and the next elevator up was almost empty. Anakin leaned against the wall and flexed the fingers of his mechno hand. One of the actuators felt a bit sticky. He'd have to take a look at it while they waited.
R2-D2's funds got them a small holocall booth with a view of the stars. Anakin punched in Obi-Wan's frequency and stripped off his protective glove.
"Anakin! It's good to see you. What happened?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Ventress kidnapped and tortured us on Zaroob. Our lightsabers and identichits are either with her or buried under a bunch of rubble."
Obi-Wan ran a hand over his face. "I see. We'll send someone to fetch you."
"See you soon."
"Wait! We had some identity issues at the gravity hook," Ahsoka said. "The guy didn't let us in even though Anakin levitated some stuff."
"I think it's just that my birthdate on the official records is off by one or something," Anakin offered. He'd found the cause of the sticky actuator and used the Force to nudge the dust out. It moved smoothly. "Master Jinn might've screwed up the date conversion."
Obi-Wan frowned. "Don't you- He did, yes, but we corrected that when you were ten and told me it wasn't your birthday yet."
Anakin frowned as well. "Huh. Yeah. I guess we did."
"I'll check if it went through." Obi-Wan did something to the side. "Anakin Skywalker, Human, Jedi, born 23rd day of fourthmonth, 7936 Hosnian on Tatooine. Republic citizenship granted 10th day of sixthmonth, 7945 Hosnian on Coruscant, by request of the Jedi Order."
"Master? I was born on Sleheyron."
"...oh dear," Obi-Wan said. "I'll, uh, see about amending that. At least your birth year is correct." He made a note to the side. "How did you get past immigrations, by the way?"
"Anakin got married to Artoo," Ahsoka piped up.
"Shut up, daughter dearest," Anakin replied as he tugged the leather glove back on.
"I suppose I'll update your next of kin as well, then," Obi-Wan drolly said. "Given your hobbies, it only makes sense that a droid have medical power of attorney."
"You're horrible and I hate you all," Anakin said, but without any heat.
Obi-Wan and Ahsoka laughed and even R2-D2 was rocking in place amusedly. "I'm in the vicinity and will come get you soon," Obi-Wan said. "Hopefully the corrections will be in place by the time we get you new identichits. May the Force be with you."
"You as well, Master," Anakin said to Obi-Wan's holographic form before it disappeared. "Okay, Snips, time to take a nap while my beloved husband has watch."
That got another giggle from Ahsoka, but she perfectly happily slumped on the ground and soon began snoring. Anakin smiled and closed his eyes as well.