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It’s only half past eight when Nick hears a rough rasping at his window. He almost decides to ignore it until it happens again.
And again. And again.
His phone pings. A message from Charlie.
Charlie
I don’t know what you’re doing but please let me in. It’s cold.
He drops his pen on his desk, which has only been used for doodling rather than the revision that he probably should be doing.
He moves over to the window, undoing the latch, and sliding it open. There he sees his best friend, with a subtly solemn look shadowing his features, hanging on to the precariously placed railing-slash-makeshift-ladder that is most definitely not up to safety regulations, seeing as they made it when they were kids.
Charlies’ voice breaks through his thoughts.
“Well, are you going to let me in or am I going to have to hang out here for the rest of the night?”
He snorts in response, helping him climb the rest of the way into his room.
”Bad joke Charles.”
“Not really a joke when that’s literally what I’ve been doing Nicholas.”
He retorts as he flops down onto the not so neatly made bed.
While his demeanor is playful, Nick knows his best friend, and he can tell something is on his mind. He decides to tread lightly, not wanting to push too much in fear of overwhelming the boy.
“So,” he begins, moving to sit next to his best friend, “is there a particular reason you decided to break into my house tonight, or is this another one of your spontaneous moments?”
“Maybe I just wanted to bestow upon you my dazzling presence, you ever think of that?” He remarks, playfully bumping his shoulder with his own.
Nick rolls his eyes affectionately. This boy.
“While your presence is always welcome, I can tell there’s something up. You don’t have to say anything right now if you don’t want to, just know that you can.” He says, voice softening.
He reaches out to clasp Charlie’s hand in his own, a show of support they’ve been doing since they were kids.
Charlie squeezes his hand, eyes fixed on their interlocked fingers.
”I know,” he smiles, first at their hands, and then meets the blond’s eyes, “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me for just being here Charlie”
He lets out a hum, “But I will.” He says stubbornly.
They both let out quiet, soft giggles until the curly haired boy speaks again.
“I just,” he hesitates momentarily before continuing “I just would really rather forget about the whole thing right now. It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, I just- I don’t want to think about it is all.” He concludes with a shrug, then sighing, flops his head against the older boy’s shoulder. Nick pretends the small action doesn’t cause his heart to speed up.
Nick’s thumb rubs circles on the back of Charlie’s hand, while his other hand threads through the younger boys curls. Nick wonders and hopes that the small actions provide even the slightest bit of comfort.
The content hum Charlie lets out in response seems to answer his question.
“Thank you for telling me. You know exactly where to find me when you’re ready.”
Charlie lifts his head and places a gentle press of lips to Nick’s cheek, another gesture that they’ve been doing for ages but lately has started to feel slightly different. At least to Nick it has.
”Yes, I do.” He smiles, his eyes shining so beautifully Nick swears he sees stars reflecting back at him. And then-
“I have an idea. Something to get your mind off things for a while.” Charlie quirks his head to the side in confusion.
God he’s so cute.
”What is it?”
“You’ll just have to wait to find out,” he tugs them both so that they’re standing, “Pick out a jumper from my closet, I’ll be right back.”
He quietly makes his way to the storage closet in the hallway right next to his room and picks out two spare blankets, carefully making his way back into his room where he sees the younger boy who has chosen his jumper of choice, a soft blue one that reaches to his mid thigh, the hood pulled up over his curls.
He quickly turns before Charlie can see the flush on his skin, grabbing a spare bag and placing the blankets inside, before zipping it up.
Christ, he thinks to himself, he’s worn my clothes before. Get a grip!
He slings the bag over his shoulder, slides on his vans and grabs a jumper for himself.
“You ready to go?” He asks.
”As ready as I can be, seeing as I have no idea where we’re going or what we’re doing.”
Nick chuckles, “I think you’ll like it, let’s go.”
They both make their way out the window and slide down the railing, holding onto the others hand to keep themselves from falling. Their hands stay connected even once they make it out onto the street.
They walk in silence, fingers intertwined and shoulders brushing together.
Nick really can’t believe it. All these small gestures that at one point used to mean so little now cause his heart to stutter, and his mind to overthink every little brush of contact.
But they never really meant nothing did they? They were always reassurances, promises that the other was still there, always would be there. No matter what.
It’s the small things, that are so easily missable by the eyes of outsiders, but forever engrained to Nick’s memory.
He wonders if these small things mean the same to Charlie.
Charlie.
They probably don’t. Most people don’t obsess over the little things, the things that should fall between the cracks, simply weeds grown in concrete.
Yet to Nick, it was roses that bloomed in the concrete. Something that shouldn’t have grown into something much more, did.
To Nick, it did.
He doesn’t know when or why he began to think about his best friend the way he does, but it doesn’t scare him. At first, he was very confused about what that meant about himself but after many late night Google searches he realized, why wouldn’t he feel this way about his best friend? It’s Charlie.
Sweet, caring, beautiful, lovely Charlie.
They make it to the entrance of an old playground before he can get too sucked in his thoughts. He tugs their intertwined hands, encouraging Charlie to follow him towards the damaged gate, the two easily slipping in.
“How have I never noticed this before…” He hears the boy quietly muse to himself.
Nick chuckles lowly, “C’mon we’re nearly there now.”
They continue walking even as they make it to the small forest that sits behind the abandoned playground equipment.
Confused, Charlie asks, “You’re not gonna murder me are you? This is definitely how most people die in horror films.”
Nick laughs and tugs Charlie closer, “Please, if either of us were to be a murderer it would be you. I surely don’t remember the last time I broke into your house.” Whatever Charlie was about to argue dies on his lips the second his eyes land on the scene in front of him.
A small clearing sits in the center of the forest, the grass over grown in neglect. A shame really, with the way a variety of flowers litter the surrounding, and the moonlight shines down illuminating everything in its path, and especially how much of a perfect view of the night sky is, the stars shining impossibly bright, Nick feels lucky having stumbled upon such a stunning area. An area like this simply must be shared, and who better to share it with than the boy who’s beauty it rivals?
Wordlessly, Charlie moves towards to center of the clearing, the moonlight serving to accentuate his features and Nick can’t help but allow himself the freedom to take him in, to just appreciate the beauty of the boy in front of him.
Reluctantly, Nick breaks his trance once he remembers the reason they were there in the first place.
He takes out the blanket from his bag, placing it right in the middle of the clearing for the best view of the night sky. He plonks himself down, reaching for Charlie to pull him down right by his side, hands connected and shoulders brushing.
“You mentioned wanting to go stargazing once. I came across this place a night I needed to clear my head. I saw it and I knew I had to bring you here.” He finishes, his free hand rubbing at the back of his neck as he remembers the reason he went out on that walk, purposely leaving out that bit of information.
Charlie has an incredulous look across his face, almost like he’s trying to remember something. “Nick, wasn’t that three months ago now? I don’t remember mentioning it since.”
”Y-Yeah! I just, you mentioned it and I thought it’d be a fun thing to do together. We can leave if you don’t like it-
“No! I mean, I didn’t think you’d even remember. I love it, really. Thank you.”
Nick chuckles, “I told you, you don’t have to thank me.”
“And I told you that I will. Now cmon, I wanna watch the stars.”
They both lie back on the blanket, neither of them noticing the time passing by as the boys point out constellations and trading random facts they know about space.
Charlie’s spiel about supernovas is interrupted by an incessant buzzing coming from the boy’s phone.
“Shit” Charlie sits up so quickly Nick swears he got whiplash.
“What’s up?” Nick asks, sitting up besides the younger who’s typing furiously on his phone.
“It’s Tori. I kind of forgot to tell her I was heading out.” His eyes land on the top left corner of the screen.
”Shit! How is it already past midnight?! Have we really been here that long?”
Nick fishes his own phone out from his bag, seeing that he himself has a jarring amount of missed calls and messages from his mum, who he only now realizes has never actually been informed of his whereabouts.
He shoots off a message apologizing and letting her now he’s on his way.
They both rush to pack up, hand in hand making their way out the forest, back across the playground and through the broken fence. They momentarily try to speed up their pace, though neither of them seeing the point as they’re already terribly late and most definitely grounded.
Seeing the familiar street light that marks the halfway point between both of their houses, Nick pauses, halting them both.
“Are you okay with getting home by yourself? I can walk you the rest of the way home if you’d like.”
Charlie rolls his eyes fondly, “I’m a big boy Nick, I can manage it on my own. Besides your mum’s probably waiting on the doorstep as we speak. And I’d rather you not be there when my mum lays into me for being gone for hours without notice.”
His expression darkens slightly, only barely enough to be noticeable, yet concern flashes across Nick’s face.
Noticing, Charlie pulls Nick close to him, wrapping his arms around his neck.
“It’s fine Nick, I promise I’ll tell you soon.”
Nick wraps his arms around Charlie’s waist, holding him closer.
Charlie lifts his head, still in the embrace.
“Thank you for tonight. I really needed it. I had a lot of fun, can’t believe I didn’t notice nearly four hours going by. We’ll definitely have to do it again soon.”
Nick pulls him closer again, “Char, of course. I’ll always be there for you when you need it, you know that. Whatever it is, I’ll always do my best to help you. I care for you, Charlie.”
I love you goes unspoken. He doesn’t realize until it’s popped up into his mind how deeply and strongly he really loves Charlie.
The thought doesn’t scare him.
They pull back again, but not by much. Slowly and softly, Charlie leaves a chaste kiss to Nick’s cheek. He lingers there for a moment, almost as if he doesn’t want to leave.
Nick definitely doesn’t want him to.
He presses another soft kiss, this time to the other side of the blond’s face. Again he lingers. He only slightly pulls back this time, staring into Nick’s eyes. Their lips only a breath away. They’re so close. So close. He would only need to slightly tilt his head, lean in and-
Charlie jolts away, stammering apologies. He goes to untangle himself from Nick, but Nick doesn’t want him to leave just yet. He interrupts Charlie’s unnecessary slew of apologies.
“Charlie?”
”Yeah?” He hesitates for a moment.
Fuck it.
“Would you kiss me?”
A beat, and then,
”Yeah.”
They close the small gap between themselves. A soft press of lips, and yet it feels so overwhelming in the best way possible. He wanted this for so long now, longer than he’s even realized.
He tilts his head, going in for a proper kiss, and it is everything to Nick. Still soft and gentle and still absolutely exhilarating.
He doesn’t know how long they’ve been there when they pull back, but the buzzing in Charlie’s pocket is once again ceaseless.
“You’re kidding me.” He grumbles.
Nick laughs softly, “Now we really have to be heading home.”
”And I really don’t want to.”
Nick kisses him on the nose, “It’s Saturday now isn’t it? Come over to mine tomorrow, we can spend the whole day together.”
“I don’t really think either us will be able to convince our mum’s, especially after being gone with no notice for hours.”
”Then I’ll text you, or we can sneak out again. We’ll figure something out, I promise.”
Now a buzzing from Nick’s phone is what startles them.
“Alright we definitely need to leave now.”
With one final kiss they pull apart.
“If I don’t see you tomorrow then I’ll see you Monday yeah? I’ll text you too!” Nick calls to him, already walking backwards.
”Yeah! I’ll see you then.”
I love you floods both of their minds on their walk back.