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Gravity comes back to her. Not at all once, but slowly, along with herself.
Her head first. She feels her head (–good to still have one, though she’s not sure why thinks that–) cradled in something. In softness, she thinks. But she, too, is soft. Like space dust, numb and weightless, and her consciousness floats on. Firmness at her back is what finally anchors her again. She feels beneath her what she forgot–solidity, matter, form– and remembers hers. The head, once more remembered. A body. Two arms laid at her sides. Two more limbs–legs–stretch down, too. Then, the surface below. Firm, she thinks again, but with some give. She feels the way it sinks slightly under her weight. A mattress, perhaps?
There’s something else, too, weighing down the mattress. But Suletta can’t tell what. Not without opening her eyes.
Right, her eyes.
Suletta finally opens her eyes, and the blackness of oblivion finally fades to a swirl of blues and grays. She blinks the sleep from her eyes. Once, twice. Three and four times. The world finally returns to her.
She’s staring up at a ceiling. An unfamiliar ceiling made of all cool tiles and shadows. It wasn’t what she expected to see–but what had she expected? She tries to remember. Stars. A darkness that stretched for miles. Colors, shimmering across it. A terrible pain that had finally broken like a fever. A weightlessness, not just of her body, but also of her soul. And another person, too, crying.
Miorine.
Suletta tilts her head left and sees her.
Miorine sits at the side of her bed, head curled into the crook of her arm. Her body rises and falls in the slow rhythm of sleep. Her beautiful silvery hair falls down her back and across the sheets like a waterfall. In the dim light, Suletta could just perceive the redness ringing her eyes and the dried tears staining her soft cheeks. She’s still wearing the sweater she saw her wearing last. Suletta had picked it for her before they left.
Suletta’s heart swells until she thinks her chest will burst. Miorine, her Mirione. Here with her. And safe. Asleep, too, but she could wait. When Miorine woke up, Suletta would apologize for making her cry (both times), even though all Suletta could think in that moment was how cute she looked with her face all scrunched up like that. Miorine was always cute. Beautiful, even. Especially while she slept.
And she was here at her side–would be here at her side, forever more. At her side in the garden, while they set up new trellises for the tomatoes. At her side at school, clearing the last of the rubble and paving the way for the students to come together again. At her side, as they exchanged vows, then walked hand-in-hand towards their future.
But those could wait. She was here, right now. In this moment, nothing else mattered.
Suletta spots Miorine’s hand resting near hers. With a soft smile across her face, she lifts her own to meet hers and entwine their fingers together.
Except, she doesn’t.
Because her hand doesn’t move.
****************
“She’s made good headway this week, Ms. Rembran. I believe she might be ready for the rehabilitation unit by the end of the week.”
Miorine Rembran nods and swipes through her notepad to the relevant document. An impenetrable wall of text fills the screen, and Miorine feels her eyes blur. She blinks away the exhaustion and pushes forward. Miorine’s upbringing left much to be desired, but, if nothing else, she was grateful to learn how to don the battle armor of a businesswoman. She dressed in her sharpest suit before coming to this appointment and ensured her makeup was on-point. Concealer to hide the dark circles born from the endless late nights that dogged her since the Quiet Zero incident. A light blush to add the color back to her sallow cheeks. Eyeliner to keep her eyes sharp as exhaustion softened them. It was her battle attire. One that allowed her to march into any battlefield that demanded her attention. This one was the most important of all.
Miorine cuts to the chase: “And what milestones does Suletta need to meet for that to happen? Are you concerned she’s not yet stable enough?”
The doctor shakes his head and glances at the computer, which was already turned towards her. Two weeks of dealing with Miorine Rembran was enough for Suletta’s care team to learn to pre-empt the woman’s demands.
“No, her body is recovering well–scarily well if I may be honest,” the doctor muses, rubbing his chin. He faced the computer screen, but for a moment, his eyes were looking far beyond. “This old man’s been around long enough to remember the first few witches that graced our doors. Few pushed half as far as she did, and most didn’t come back. That girl is something else.”
Miorine had already examined and copied down the display’s contents. On the screen were a few charts with blood test results along with two full-body scans of Suletta – one from her initial intake and one from this morning. On the left one, orange Permet seared like a blinding sun along Suletta’s face and down her arms and legs. The marks on the right scan were far less blinding. They now merely smoldered like cooling embers in a dying fire.
Still bright enough, Miorine muses, to fear a resurgent fire. She pushes the thought aside. “Then what’s the issue?”
The doctor hems a moment before replying, “Well, patients need a certain level of mobility and stamina before rehabilitation will be effective, and, well-”
“And Suletta hasn’t reached those yet?” Miorine wasn’t interested in sugar coated obfuscations to spare her feelings.
The doctor winces. “...No, she hasn’t. The damage to her nerves is… extensive, for lack of a better word. She is recovering, and her body has flushed enough Permet out that she will not need to worry about getting worse. But getting better will take time. A lot of time.”
Miorine dashes down a few notes and started a new line. “Tell me where she’s falling short.”
The doctor pulls some documents out (–printed documents, he really was an old geezer–) and begins detailing them to her. Bed mobility was not too much of a concern at this point. Suletta could roll over and shift herself up and down the bed…on her better days. But on those better days, she still struggled to keep herself upright without support. Further progress was impossible until this hurdle was cleared. The biggest hurdle, however, was her stamina. Images of Suletta flash through her mind: Suletta trembling and gasping for breath as she had tried to lift herself to greet her just two days prior.
Miorine details this all down, then looks up to meet the doctor's gaze, “Then, what's next?"
***
Two quick knocks announce her arrival. Miorine cracks the door open, peeking inside to ensure none of those nosy nurses are present, before opening it fully.
Suletta is there, as she has been. Her bed is tilted slightly to allow her to sit up, but otherwise she lays still on the hospital bed. The television Suletta usually had on in the afternoons was off. Instead, her eyes are fixed upwards at the ceiling in silence.
It takes Suletta a moment to react to Miorine’s entrance, but when she turns and sees her, her whole face immediately lights up. “Miorine-san!”
Suletta’s smile is contagious. The corners of Miorine’s mouth are already curling in response, and all the tension leaves her body. “I’m back, Suletta.” Miorine answers. She settles down into her chair. After a moment of contemplation, she decides to slide her hand onto Suletta’s forearm. Miorine was still getting used to… this. Thankfully, the girl never seemed to comment on her awkward and unpracticed attempts at intimacy, and always responded with a shy smile and a sweet little laugh.
Suletta stares at her face for a moment before commenting, “You look tired.”
That damn Mercurian could always see through her. Miorine sighs and smiles again, though she has to muster the energy for it herself this time. “The Assembly wanted another interview on top of the one on Monday, then I had to meet with a few directors before touching base with Dr. Ren. It’s fine though. How are you doing today?”
“I’m okay,” Suletta replies but offers nothing further. Miorine pursues.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Mmm, I slept okay.”
“Have you had something to eat?”
“Yes, I had lunch about an hour ago.”
“No TV today? Did those nurses forget to turn it on again?” Miorine huffs, “I’ll give them another piece of my mind.”
“Nonono, it’s okay Miorine-san!” Suletta shakes her head and continues, “I asked them to turn it off. I just…” Her gaze turns upwards again, and she says softly, “... I just needed some quiet today.”
Miorine hums in response to this and says nothing else. For a moment, they sit in silence.
Finally, Suletta turns back to her. “Miorine-san,” she says with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “It’s okay if you want to go rest. The nurses will be back soon for my exercises anyway.”
“Actually, that’s part of why I’m here.”
“Eh?”
Suletta tilts her head in that way that makes her look like a confused puppy. Cute , she briefly muses before pushing the thought away. No time for that right now.
"I'll be attending your physical therapy sessions going forward."
"Eh? Eh?" Suletta flusters, "But– but Miorine-san– don't you have a bunch of things going on right now?"
"Your recovery is my top priority." Miorine states. She releases Suletta’s arm and begins navigating through her notepad.
"But– I mean– the nurses will be here–"
"And I will be too." Miorine slides closer, leaning onto Suletta's bed so she can show her the notepad.
"Dr. Ren ran through this week's regimen with me. I'll be attending every afternoon session– well, not this Wednesday’s. Another damn board meeting. But otherwise every afternoon session and these three morning sessions. Provided you make steady pace, you'll be cleared to move into the rehabilitation unit by Saturday. After that,I’ll confirm your new schedule and ensure I'm able to accommodate a similar pace of visits."
Miorine pauses to listen for some acknowledgement, but none comes. She turns to look at Suletta's face again. For a brief moment, she sees Suletta as she once knew her. Rosy cheeks, flustered and embarrassed at their proximity. Body coiled like a spring, ready to scurry away like a small prey animal. But her eyes bring her back to reality. To the angry scarlet trails of Permet scarring her cheeks. To the shudders of exertion from a body brought to its limits and beyond.
Suletta breaks the silence again with a simple question, "Why?"
And it breaks her heart a little to hear it.
Miorine puts the notepad down. Without breaking eye contact, she slides her hand into Suletta's, threading her fingers into hers. Suletta furrows her brow in concentration. Miorine knows what she's trying to do, even without looking down. She takes her free hand and gently folds Suletta's trembling fingers down to complete their embrace.
"Because I want to." Because she does. Because she wants to see her get better. Because it breaks her heart a hundred times a day to see Suletta like this. The manifestation of her worst nightmares.
She couldn't prevent it, but she will see her through it. Nothing else matters.
***
Morning board meeting.
Breakfast. Drafting reports for the Space Assembly League as she eats.
Interviewing the nurses on Suletta’s progress.
Asset transition progress reports for her father.
Approval forms finalizing the day’s shipments to Earth as she sits in the waiting room.
Suletta's afternoon sessions.
More board meetings.
Sleep.
Miorine spends Suletta's final week in the acute care center like this. It's a blur. Like running a marathon after pulling an all-nighter before an exam. Seven times over. The only parts she remembers are Suletta's physical therapy sessions.
These stick in her mind for two reasons:
- She takes notes. Exhaustive notes. When the nurses take her vitals and update her chart, Miorine copies them down. Every exercise is listed with timestamp and duration. She transcribes everything that Mrs. Heidi (the nosy head nurse–Miorine finds her annoying but Suletta likes her the most, so she keeps her mouth shut) says about Suletta's progress that day.
- Every single whimper, gasp, and cry of pain from Suletta is burned into her memory..
The first two sessions she just watches. It's hard. She flinches every time Suletta starts to tumble sideways, almost moving to catch her before catching herself and letting the nurses do their work. Suletta meets her gaze every time. She doesn't say anything, but Miorine still receives the silent and unnecessary apology anyways.
Dr. Ren had warned her about this. Having loved ones attend treatment, he'd said, can improve the process’s effectiveness. But it doesn't make it easier. For either of them.
Mrs. Heidi finally hits her limit ten minutes into her third session. "For god's sake, if you're going to keep doing that, you might as well come up here and actually help."
So she does.
Suletta plants her feet on the ground and sits at the edge of her bed for her sixth attempt. Miorine had seen this girl lift fifty-pound bags of fertilizer like it was nothing. But now, she strains under the weight of her own body. Her chest and head slump like a top-heavy tree teetering and threatening to snap under its own mass. Her arms–shaking like an earthquake–keep her upright, barely.
Miorine stands to Suletta’s left. The nurse at Suletta’s right nods: the sign to start again. Suletta takes in a deep, raspy breath. Her lungs and diaphragm fill with air, hoping to bridge the gap between her body’s abilities and what she's about to do. Slowly, she sits upright. Her arms slack and slide, one after the other, into her lap.
A tremendous endeavor. But it’s just the start. “Look right.” comes Mrs. Heidi’s first instruction. Suletta tenses and turns until she makes eye contact with the other nurse. “Hold.” She sways a moment, but recovers and holds. A slight improvement from last time. “Look left.” She begins to turn the other way, towards Miorine, but gravity finally wins the battle. The turn is too quick and this time Suletta sways too far to right herself. The nurse and Miorine catch her body as it tumbles forward off the bed and pull her back onto the bed. Suletta goes slack in their arms, finally releasing her breath and wheezing for air.
Mrs Heidi gives her a minute until her breathing catches back up to her.
Then they go again.
Suletta is exhausted at the end. Miorine sits there with her until she has to leave for her next meeting, holding her hand as if it was the most important thing in the world.
This was when she conducted her most important responsibility. A duty that neither the nurses nor the doctors nor the specialists could attend to. It was something only she was capable of.
"Nuno and Ojelo found a few more gardening supplies that survived the greenhouse," she mentions, stroking the back of Suletta's hand with her thumb. She learned this from a magazine Lilique had sent her – a crucial learning resource, she had said. (Miorine found the gesture annoying, but skimmed the magazine once or twice anyways. Just to be nice.) "I was thinking of asking them to ship them over so I can get a few seeds started. Maybe we could put a few in your room after you move, too. "
Suletta's eyes are closed. Miorine wonders if she’s already passed out, but Suletta finally hums in response. Miorine continues.
"It'll be nice to grow tomatoes together again. It's going to be harder without all the controls the greenhouse had, but I guess that's what growing things is like on Earth. Best to get used to it now, I suppose."
Another hum, quieter. She tries not to look at her brow drenched in sweat and her cheeks flush from exertion. "Once you're back on your feet, I'll show you how to use the new watering can I just bought. It’s a bit heavier than the last one, but I’m sure that won’t be an issue for you.”
Silence - the cue that her duties are concluded for today. Miorine gently squeezes her hand then heads back to face the world again.
***
Friday morning. Suletta squeezes Miorine's hand back, and Miorine's heart surges with pride and joy.
A few hours later, Suletta manages to stay seated upright through the entire balance exercise. She then takes her first steps off the bed in weeks and in and out of a wheelchair (with some help from the nurses and Miorine, but still, she does it) .
Suletta sits upright in her bed as they serve her lunch. Miorine joins her for the meal. She tells her about the station they’ve been residing in, and some of the shopping and recreational areas that she's heard about. A jewelry shop, three different clothing stores, a whole floor of just restaurants. There's even a botanical garden in the fifth wing.
"When you're cleared to go on outings, we'll have plenty of options to choose from for a nice date," she comments as if it was the most casual thing in the world and didn't make her stomach do backflips, then immediately sneaks a glance at Suletta's face for her reaction. Suletta catches her gaze. It takes her a beat too long to smile back.
***
Saturday morning. Dr. Ren signs off on her transfer paperwork.
***
Suletta spends many more hours in physical therapy after her transfer. Miorine isn't able to make every session (she'd have to spend her whole day there to do that), but she tries to make the important ones. If she can't do that, she at least comes in the evenings to handle her usual duties.
It's on one of those evenings that she walks into Suletta's room to find her collapsed on the floor.
"Suletta!" Miorine's belongings scatter across the floor as she races to her side. "Are you okay? What happened?" She's conscious–thank god, thank god –and trying to right herself up with trembling, unsure arms. Miorine struggles a bit to turn her over, but manages to help her upright.
"Sorry Miorine-san…" Suletta apologizes, turning to face away from Miorine’s gaze. "I'm okay…"
Oh no she doesn’t. Miorine seizes her chin with her hands and forces her face back. A red lump is beginning to form on the side of her forehead, and there's dirt all over her face and the front of her hospital gown.
"Suletta." Miorine repeats in a tone that makes Suletta whimper, "What happened?"
Suletta directs her eyes away as best she can while trapped in Miorine’s grip. "I– I was trying to reach for something on the side table. And I, uh, I fell…" Her shoulders hunch, "I'm sorry… I made you drop your dinner too."
Miorine feels a scowl stretching across her face and tears biting the corners of her eyes. "You idiot… that's hardly important right now," she whispers and pulls the girl into an embrace. A short one, she tells herself. Just for a moment. A salve to cure the pounding of her heart and quell the adrenaline coursing through her veins. The other girl silently returns the gesture. They enjoy the moment, until–
"Hey, can you pick me up now? It's reaaaaally gross down here," echoed the youthful voice in the back of Miorine’s mind.
Miorine huffs and release her fiancé, "Oh be quiet, you." One other change came along after Suletta’s transfer: Ericht’s accompaniment on her daily visits. Miorine isn’t thrilled by the intrusion into their few moments of privacy, but as her current guardian, she has little choice.
Priorities, she reminds herself, priorities. Miorine rises to her feet and steadies herself as the nurses had shown her. Inhale, brace, lift. Suletta rises then too, feet wobbling beneath her, until Miorine deposits her back into bed. Only then does she turn to recover her little ward.
She dusts off Hots-san and plops her on the side table. "Act like an older sister for once and watch her while I go find the nurse. And you ," she points at Suletta, who flinches again, "Don't move until I get back, and your head gets checked."
And with that, she spins and marches out the door.
***
It's been exactly two weeks since her transfer to the rehabilitation ward. Miorine starts a new page in her notes and begins to type.
Date: XXXX/XX/XX, WEEK 5 OF RECOVERY
-Current Progress and Goals-
Rehabilitation Goal: Achieve mobility and endurance targets within 3-5 weeks of transfer to allow the patient to return safely home and begin outpatient treatment.
Competency milestones to complete before release:
- (X) Maintain an upright posture independently for 60 or more seconds.
- (X) Maintain upright posture while completing:
- (X) Anterior movement
- (X) Posterior movement
- (X) Lateral movement
- (X) Retrieving object on floor
- (X) Able to grasp small objects (e.g. keys, electronic devices) and manipulate them as needed for use.
- Able to transfer from bed/seated position into mobility device
- ( ) independently, or
- (X) with support.
- Able to transfer from wheelchair to toilet
- ( )independently, or
- (X) with support.
- ( ) Able to stand with an assistive device for a minimum of 60 seconds.
- ( ) Able to ambulate using an assistive device a minimum of 10 feet.
-Scheduled Exercises for Week 5-
- [....]
-Observations from Previous Week(Week 4)-
___
Miorine stops and heaves a sigh.
"Wow that was a big one," Ericht observes with that relentlessly mirthful tone she always used. Miorine ignores her.
Last week, Miorine had found Suletta collapsed not once, not twice, but five separate times . And she was about to lose her mind.
The sheer terror that struck her the first few times was beginning to mutate into a furious rage she usually reserved for those last few stubborn parasites leeching off the Benerit Group’s corpse. She did not want to under any circumstances subject Suletta to her unfiltered fury. She needed to figure out something before she hit that point.
But she had absolutely no idea why it kept happening. And Suletta refused to explain.
That girl was an awful liar. Miorine had her suspicions after the first incident. Reaching for something on the side table, which contained nothing except a clock? She didn't interrogate it too much in the moment. Whatever she was reaching for likely tumbled to the ground along with the flailing lanky body of one Miss Suletta Mercury.
But then she tried the same excuse again. And then the excuses began to get stupider . She had a dream about pruning tomatoes and tried to reach for one in her sleep. She wanted to go to the bathroom but decided not to hit the call button for… reasons. She thought she saw a spider, got scared and fell out of bed.
Suletta Mercury, the girl who excitedly brought Miorine every single bug she found in the greenhouse. Scared of a spider. Even Suletta knew that one was bad after it came out of her mouth.
But that hadn’t been the only thing giving Miorine pause.
Miorine and Suletta had lunch together last Thursday. Suletta wasn't quite coordinated enough yet for chopsticks, but she was finally able to comfortably grasp a fork. Which she then celebrated by shoveling salad and pasta into her mouth. Miorine opted for a protein bar from the vending machine down the hall.
Miorine wasn't going to be able to visit that evening; she had a business dinner to discuss some former Benerit assets with an Earthian representative. The brief time she had for lunch would be their only time together until tomorrow evening, so she had to make it count.
She swallowed heavily and, with an evenness that took all her effort and a lifetime’s worth of training, said,"Lilique sent me a few magazines this week."
"Whab a'e they aboub?" Suletta asked with her cheeks so full of lettuce that it stuck out her mouth. Miorine's focus instantly crumbled, and she dissolved into a fit of giggles.
"Chew and swallow first," she half-joked, half-chided. Despite the packed schedule, she was in an unusually good mood today. "I'm not going anywhere. Besides, I don't want you choking to death before the wedding. "
Suletta instantly started to choke.
Miorine jumped up like a flash and rushed over to do– to do–to do something. She actually had no idea how to help someone choking and was realizing this at a very bad time. Thankfully Suletta waved her away as she managed to forcefully swallow the salad, following it up with a few coughs and some water.
"Are you alright?" Miorine asked.
Suletta coughed again then flashed Miorine a thumbs up while chugging the entire glass of water.
The Mercurian eventually caught her breath, though her cheeks remained flushed and she squirmed in her seat. Given how her own cheeks burned, Miorine knew that her own complexion far outmatched Suletta's right now.
What the hell was that?!
"So-sorry," Suletta coughed, "what were you saying, Miorine-san?"
Shit. She really didn't want to continue, not after that.
She had to though, it was her duty. It was for Suletta. Their future.
"...A-As I was saying, Lilique sent me a few magazines. It was a rather random assortment–you know that girl has some odd tastes." Miorine and Suletta knew exactly what Lilique's tastes were. And they were very specific. She was beating around the bush. Why was this so hard? "I did see one that might be nice to flip through though. Maybe I could bring it here so you have something to read."
"... what’s it about?" Suletta asked.
Miorine looked away. She couldn't get the words out while looking into those soft blue eyes. Was it possible for a human to burst into flames from embarrassment?
"It's a wedding dress catalog."
Silence.
Miorine wanted to curl up and die. Say something, you stupid Mercurian. Anything . Weren't you the one who wanted to wear the very best dresses? And get rings?
Wasn't this your dream?
She couldn't take it any longer and turned back.
Miorine… couldn't read her expression. Well, that wasn't quite right. She could - she just didn't know what to make of it. And it scared her. Suletta's whole face flushed as red as her hair. Her eyes were as wide as dinner plates, and her jaw hung open slightly.
But after the initial shock wore off, she saw that look. The look Suletta had when she wanted to cry.
She didn't. Suletta swallowed then gave Miorine a smile so sad Miorine felt like she'd been stabbed through the stomach. "Okay."
The next morning, the nurses told Miorine that they found Suletta on the floor twice that night.
Miorine types four sentences: PT concerned patient may be suffering from nocturnal seizures or other neurological condition. Monitor for other symptoms. If persistent, may need to follow up with primary care physician for further tests and potentially transfer.
She throws the notepad on the bed, shoves the medical books and magazines out of the way, and lays her head down on the desk.
She needed to keep thinking. Suletta was depending on her. But her brain refused.
Some of it was exhaustion. Things had quieted down in her work. Most of the Benerit Group assets had been successfully transferred post-sale, and the relevant materials shipped off to their new homes. The Space Assembly League still had their ever-present eyes on her and her comrades, but the endless barrage of reports and interviews had finally subsided. But anxiety clawed its way into her mind at night and denied her rest. It whispered questions she didn't want to hear.
Was Suletta just plateauing in her recovery?
Or, was Suletta getting sicker? Making herself sicker, somehow? By accident? On purpose?
Was Miorine the cause? (It's illogical, but she imagines Suletta on the floor, in the dark, surrounded by magazines with beautiful white and ivory dresses on the covers).
Anxiety whispers in her ear again, maybe she's having second thoughts .
Miorine had already once taken those sweet, beautiful dreams of wedding dresses and rings and crushed them.
Then destroyed many, many other lives.
Miorine shook her head, shoving her face deeper into the sleeves of her sweater. No. No, no, no. Not right now. Not yet. She couldn't let herself undo Suletta’s tender ministrations that had put her back together again.
Suletta came back. Even though she didn't deserve it. She came back. Miorine had to move forward.
"But what do I do…" she whispers to herself.
"I can think of a few things, if you're asking me." chirps the youthful voice in her head.
Ugh. She forgot.
"I wasn't." She grumbles, then adds, "...but you can pretend I was."
Ericht proceeds, "Hmm, well, Suletta is a strong girl, you know?"
"Of course I know that, " Miorine snaps. She rolls her head sideways to throw a scowl at the keychain from over the top of her arm.
"I know you do." Ericht then adds, "Suletta knows that too, you know?" and pauses poignantly.
What the hell was that supposed to mean? "Good, then she should know she'll get through this. Suletta… should know she can do almost anything."
"Mmm. But…being sick is scary, though."
Miorine on reflex almost snarks, And how would you know? , but the immediate wave of shame stops the words on her lips.
"I can understand how she might feel, a little bit," Ericht continues, "But Suletta and I are different people. The only person who can know how Suletta is feeling… is Suletta."
Miorine sighs. She understood what Eri was nudging her to do.
"...Thanks," she mutters and buries her face back into her arms.
"Hehehe, you're welcome. We'll be family for real soon, you know~" Hots-san's eyes light up as Ericht giggles. "So make sure to ask your future big sister if you need advice!"
Miorine huffed dramatically, but the chuckle she was trying to mask still slips through.
***
Work suddenly got busy again. Miorine slept maybe three hours that night. Before retiring to bed, she had prepared notes for the five meetings she had today, arranged three more follow-up appointments for Suletta, and drafted a financial report as a personal favor to a certain someone at Jeturk Heavy Industries. She also spent an hour writing and rewriting a new section to The Document.
-Suletta Conversation Plan-
Included in this section were ten different approaches to broaching the discussion, a conversation flowchart based on Suletta's likely responses (and her most frequent methods of dodging questions), and places to add notes in response to her questions.
She knew Suletta better than anyone, and she would get her answers.
Miorine studied it as she ran between offices, ate her lunch, and eventually, dragged her worn-out body down the halls of the rehabilitation unit at 7:30 PM. She was completely and totally exhausted, but she was prepared.
Not prepared enough, she realizes as she opens the door, to find Suletta once again on the floor.
Something in her snaps .
Four weeks of transitioning a multi-billion credit business to hundreds of owners thousands of miles away. Four weeks of Space Assembly League agents shadowing her around the station, waiting for the young Delling heir to make a single misstep so they could finally bring the axe down upon her head. Four weeks of sleepless nights. Of the endless terror that haunted her as she watched the girl she loved more than she loved herself and everything else in the world combined getting hurt and hurt and hurt but refusing to explain what was happening.
Suletta whips her head around when at that sound of Miorine’s entrance, propping her body up on a single arm (one covered in bruises), and sheepishly greets her, "Mi-Miorine-san, uh, so- sorry I had ju–"
" SULETTA. "
Suletta yelps. Miorine hurls her bag on the ground and storms like a tempest over to the fallen girl. The raging winds of her heart have already blown her plans far, far away.
"What the hell are you doing AGAIN?" Suletta starts to open her mouth, but all she sees is red, and it all comes out. "No, don't you DARE tell me you were going to the bathroom by yourself. Don't you DARE say you were trying to find the remote again. Or that you were dreaming or some other bullshit. You better have a damn good explanation..
WHAT.
IS.
GOING.
ON WITH YOU. "
The only sound in the room is that of Miorine's rasping breaths. Suletta is curled up on the floor. Her throat, she realizes, is burning. Had she… shouted that loudly?
"I'm sorry." comes the response, in a voice so quiet, Miorine almost doesn't hear it. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I- *hic* so- *hic*. I'm so sorry-"
Miorine realizes too late that she has royally fucked up.
"Oh, Suletta, no no no–" Miorine loses strength in her legs and knees hit the floor. "No, please, no no. I'm sorry. I–" she chokes on a sob. "This is all my fault."
The sound of Miorine's voice cracking causes something in Suletta to shift. She turns. Her eyes are red, and tears are still streaming down her cheeks. "Mi-miorine-san, are you-" Suletta's breath hitches as she holds back her own tears, "why are you crying? Are- are you okay?"
Idiot. Idiot idiot idiot. Of course Suletta worries about her first. Miorine can't help but laugh. A sad, bitter, painful laugh that hurts her chest "You– should you really be saying that right now? I'm the one who started yelling in the first place." Shameful tears are streaming freely down Miorine's face now.
Suletta lifts her upper body off the ground. She inhales deeply, then begins to drag herself towards Miorine. Before she can even ask what she's doing, Suletta leans her weight into her, and wraps her free arm around her. A hug. She was trying to hug her.
"You… idiot." Miorine buries herself into her spot in Suletta shoulder and sobs. She feels Suletta nuzzle into her hair and shudder quietly too.
They stay like that for a time. Until the storm passes and leaves them in the wake.
Miorine breaks the silence. "Suletta," her voice is muffled by the other girl's clothes and nasally from the snot and tears, "Do you hate me?"
"I would never hate you, Miorine-san."
"Even though I keep doing awful things to you?"
"Are you sorry?"
"Of course I am."
"Then it's okay. I forgive you." Suletta holds her tighter. Her grip is weak but Miorine feels her intent. Miorine wants to cry again, but Suletta speaks up again. "Are you mad at me, Miorine-san?"
Miorine shakes her head. "I'm not mad. I'm just…" she swallows, "I'm scared."
"Scared?" She feels Suletta tilt her head again. Stupid Suletta, stop being cute. This isn't the time. "Scared about what?"
"About you, you idiot. What else would I be scared about," she takes a shuddery breath and continues, "Can't you imagine what it's like, walking in here every day, and seeing you collapsed on the floor like that? And not knowing why? I'm terrified ."
"…I'm sorry, Miorine-san…."
Miorine pulls herself from Suletta's embrace and looks into her eyes. They're both a mess. "Please. Please tell me what's going on. I… I just want to understand."
Suletta looks back at her with an expression softer than anything Miorine could imagine someone possible of and finally nods.
***
"You're going to be mad," Suletta starts meekly.
They're both on the floor, huddled between the edge of the bed and the wall, Suletta leaning against Miorine's shoulder The nurses would probably not approve of this from a therapeutic perspective, but it feels right.
"I promise I won't– well, I promise not to yell again," Miorine lands on as a realistic compromise.
Suletta nods and stares up at the ceiling. "I was trying to practice more."
"Practice what more?"
"... Um, well, some specific things but… also everything." Suletta begins to fidget with her hands, "I still can't, um, stand really well. Or, um, get up from chairs and stuff."
Miorine stares at her like she had grown a second head. "Suletta. That's why you're in rehab. You almost died. Of course you can't stand yet."
"I know… but…" There it is again. The look that had crossed her face every day since the moment she had woken up. The one that breaks Miorine's heart into a million pieces.
"...It wasn't supposed to be like this," she whispers, her eyes distant, "I was going to fly back into the hangar, and get out of Calibarn, and you were going to come out to meet me before I even made it down. And I was going to pull you into this big hug and spin you around and around because even though you'd be really mad, you'd be happy enough that I saved everyone to let me get away with it.
"And we were going to hold hands as we went to go meet everyone. Then we'd all go home together, back to Asticassia, and celebrate. I'd help you rebuild the greenhouse, and we'd plant more tomatoes, and share them with everyone, and then we'd–" Suletta's breath hitches again, but she doesn't stop.
"How can I do any of it like this, Miorine-san? Dr. Ren told me. He said it would be years before I could walk again. How can I help put the greenhouse back together? Or help prune the tomato plants if I can't reach them?" Tears begin to stream down her face but she still doesn’t stop, "How do I come to Earth with you? How do I stand by your side and move forward together with you, or hold your hand and tell you it'll be okay? How do I walk down the aisle at our wedding? When I can't even– even get down on one knee–" Finally Suletta succumbs.
"Oh Suletta…" It's Miorine’s turn to pull her close. The girl sobs and shakes into her shoulder again. Regret pools in her stomach. She was a fool. Every moment of pain Suletta had felt, recorded, cataloged, stored in her memory. And yet she missed this. How many nights had Suletta curled up alone, crying like this? Miorine holds her tighter in a far-too-late apology, and cards her fingers through her red locks.
They sit again without speaking, until Suletta's sobs finally begin to subside. She murmurs into Miorine’s ear, "I'm sorry."
"Stop saying that. You have nothing to be sorry for. Except maybe lying to me and giving me five separate heart attacks, but I already forgave you for that."
"But I do have something to be sorry for… I'm breaking my promise."
Miorine flinches. Anxiety whispers again in her ears, second thoughts . "What do you mean?"
"You told you, right? I can't help with the tomatoes. I don't know if I can follow you to Earth. I can’t…” Another promise hangs, unspoken, “I can’t. Even after you came every day and did so much to help me when you were so tired and–"
"Do you not want to anymore?"
It's an open ended question. She hopes Suletta understands, though. That she doesn't just mean the tomatoes or the trip to Earth.
Suletta recoils in absolute horror and looks back at her, "No no no, I absolutely want to be with you, Miorine-san! Why wouldn't I?! I just–"
That was when Miorine realizes she’s the biggest idiot of all. All the fear and anxiety and dread disperses at once. All she can think to do is laugh.
"Eh? Eh? What are you laughing at? Did I say something funny?" Suletta looks around the room, as if she was missing some physical clue that would make sense of Miorine's sleep-deprived insanity. This just pushes Miorine into another fit of giggles. My cute little Mercurian country bumpkin , she smiles. Without thinking, she cups her hand around Suletta's cheek and gently turns her lovely face back to hers.
"Suletta," she says softly.
Suletta's eyes widen in confusion and a blush bursts across her cheeks. "Mi-Miorine-san?"
She strokes a thumb across Suletta's cheek, along the reddish pink scars where her skin has finally started to heal. Suletta relaxes into her touch. "If you want to, that's the only thing that matters," Miorine says with a soft smile.
Suletta's eyebrows furrow. "But… haven't things changed?"
"Yes, but you haven't."
"But," Suletta bites her lip, "you'll have to do a lot. I don't want to ask that of you, when you've already done so much. I can't even, um, go to the bathroom yet by myself."
Jeez, this girl.
"Stay here." Miorine tells her (which is a silly thing to say to someone who can't do otherwise anyways). She gets up and retrieves her discarded bag and, from it, her notepad, before returning to her place by Suletta's side. She pulls up The Document, swipes to a specific page, and hands it to her.
"Just read it."
Suletta does.
- Post-Release Plans (WIP)-
Outpatient expectations: approximately 3-6 months of regular visits to facility before patient can graduate to quarterly check up.
Current place too small/far from outpatient. Need to find new housing.
List of Accessible Housing Units Available
- [link to saved search]
- Notes: 1bd, 1 bth, needs ramps (or ability to place them), hallway widths to accommodate wheelchair (4ft). Low counters.
- Anything else? Ask nurses.
-
- Mrs. Heidi says doors that open outwards for bathroom. Sensible.
- Also space around toilet for transfers.
Items to buy before Suletta's release
- (X) Gantt-Brand Wheelchair (Note: best brand for Suletta's height and weight, according to [link]) (Note 2: got one reserved for pick up, will get when release date confirmed) (Note 3: maybe I should wait and let Suletta pick color? Think about this later)
- (X) Bath Lift
- ( ) Accessible-height dinner table
- ( ) Couch with no arm rests (Note: weirdly hard to find - ask Belmeria)
[…]
Suletta scrolls through the document - five pages of notes, links to online resources, lists of items to buy, recommendations from Dr. Ren and the staff at the rehabilitation unit. Her head whips between the screen and Miorine in total bewilderment.
"I've been to almost every one of your appointments, Suletta. I’ve realized today that I don't know as much as I thought I did, not even close. But I know what I'm signing up for, at least. I can handle the bathroom trips, the doctor visits, baths… whatever else you might need."
"I– are you sure–" Suletta tries to ask. Miorine doesn't allow her down that path again.
"I want to, Suletta. I want to because I want to be by your side, and if that's the cost of admission, I'll pay. And… I'll try to do better. Better on your hard days, and mine.”
"But,” Miorine continues, “I can only do that if you let me, though"
Miorine stands up and holds her hand down to Suletta, "Will you allow me the honor, Suletta Mercury, of being by your side?"
Suletta turns her blue eyes, glassy with tears, up to meet Miorine's gaze. Her face scrunches up as she sniffles, then slowly melts into a radiant smile. "Yes," she replies and grasps her hand tightly.
***
Suletta and Miorine set some ground rules.
- Suletta would not attempt to get out of bed by herself. Either Miorine, the staff, or one of their friends had to be there. (Ericht did not count, though she whined about this exception).
- Miorine would make sure she's eating two (real) meals a day and getting six hours of sleep. If that meant missing Suletta's visitor hours, they'd have a video call before bed instead.
- Suletta was insistent that she be allowed to "practice", but still wouldn't specify what or why. Miorine was annoyed, but begrudgingly agreed so long as rule 1 was abided by.
- Friday and Sunday evenings after dinner were reserved for the two of them to just spend time together. Watching movies, talking about their days, anything that didn’t involve work or medical stuff. ("A date night!" Suletta said with that dopey, earnest smile on her face that made Miorine fall in love with her a little more every time. "I suppose we can call it that.")
Suletta had no more incidents. Nor did Miorine.
The staff cleared her to be released on the Thursday of her seventh week.
****************
Tuesday morning. Suletta may have had her butt planted firmly in her seat, but her stomach was doing cartwheels.
She was ready though.
Suletta had asked Miorine to clear her schedule for the day ("I already had to clear my calendar Thursday, it's not going to be that easy," Miorine had whined. She did it anyway because she was wonderful). With her rehabilitation work being essentially finished, she was also able to get excused from her usual sessions for the morning.
"Hair?" Eri asked,
"Clean, fluffy, and brushed!" Suletta replied, preening a bit in the mirror.
"Wheelchair?"
She looked down at the armrest display. "Charged and ready to go for a whole five hours of use!"
"Tickets?"
Suletta checked her phone for the email. "Paid for and ready to go!"
Suletta could practically hear the smile in Eri’s voice as she finally asks, "And most importantly, you-know-what?"
Suletta checked her jacket pocket and felt the you-know-what there. Giddiness and anxiety surged through her body in equal amounts. She giggled and practically danced in her seat.
"I'm going to guess that's a yes."
***
Miorine came to pick her and Eri up shortly after. Suletta had only really seen her in business attire or her school uniform up until this point, and she was absolutely, one-hundred percent, not prepared for the sight of her fiance in casual attire. Especially not in a blue sundress (!) with her bare shoulders (!!) and legs(!!!) on full display. Her brain stopped functioning for a good 20 seconds.
"Quit gawking, you sex-crazed tanuki." Miorine snapped, but it didn't have the usual bite to it, which probably meant she liked the attention. Probably. Suletta would be careful anyways, even though Miorine was very very pretty it was very very hard not to stare.
They set off on their date.
Miorine had found a nice quiet cafe with outdoor patio and a ramp. After a million hospital meals, Suletta had forgotten how good food could taste like, and she was thrilled to remember. Miorine had to remind her twice to breathe between her bites of pancake. Miorine's little scowls were so cute, too, but today was important so she decided also to listen.
After eating, they headed off to the main event: the botanical garden.
Suletta knew Miorine very well, she liked to think, but she had never seen her excited before. It was absolutely adorable. It was clear Miorine was trying not to let it show on her face (also very cute), but Suletta could tell from the way her eyes shined and from the tiny little smile that she had when she thought Suletta wasn't looking. And because she kept jerking the wheelchair to a stop when she saw another plant she wanted to tell Suletta about. Suletta decided not to worry about it today (but made a mental note to maybe ask her to be more careful, next time). Even Eri stayed quiet, and just let them enjoy their day.
They wheeled around for a couple of hours, making sure to weave their way through every corner of the garden.
They finally made their way to the final section of the garden. It was quieter here, being pretty far out of the way of the main paths. Given it was also a work day, it was pretty much completely empty when the two of them came in. Suletta felt a lump form in her throat.
It's okay, she could do this.
Miorine pushed her wheelchair along the winding path as she had through the rest of the gardens. They lingered a bit longer at each plant though, neither wanting the day to end just yet.
They strolled by some beautiful and aromatic purple flowers, (“English lavender was a widely-used herbal remedy back in the day. Supposedly it has a soothing effect.” “We should get some for your room, Miorine-san, I bet you could use it.” “Very funny.” “I’m serious!”), and some enormous yellow ones, (“Ah, these are sunflowers. On Earth, they apparently follow the sun as it moves across the sky.” “Wow, flowers that can move?” “Mmm. In flower language, they apparently mean ‘adoration’ and ‘loyalty’ because of that.” “Hehehe, that sounds like you and me, Miorine-san!” “Oh hush, you.”).
As they neared the end of their journey, Suletta made her move.
"Miorine-san, do you mind if we take a break for a moment? There's a bench I think over here too."
"Oh, yes. Sorry, Suletta, I didn't mean to tire you out."
"No no, you're okay! I'm not very tired, just wanted to stop and enjoy the moment for a second." Suletta smiled. Miorine returned the gesture.
She wheeled her over to the bench, flipped the brakes on, then sat down at the end beside her.
Miorine closed her eyes and inhaled. Taking it all in before they left, she imagined. Suletta just looked at her, admiring her profile among the greens, purples, reds and yellows bursting forth behind her.
She loved all the different parts of Miorine. The quiet Miorine working in the gardens with her mother’s tomatoes. The angry Miorine who hated the world and everyone in it but still became her friend. The fearsome Miorine who strode forward into the incubation party and saved her, and tackled every meeting with the same bravery. The thoughtful Miorine who pretended she didn’t like the people at Earth House but still quietly pondered how to meet their needs. The Miorine who held her hand tenderly when she was in pain and embraced her when she wept, but would still get all bashful and embarrassed when Suletta returned that affection. Suletta couldn't wait to see what other Miorines she'd get to meet and love.
Miorine opened her eyes and saw Suletta looking at her. "Something on my face?"
Suletta shook her head and offered up a soft smile, "No, I just like looking at you."
Miorine scrunched her face up and tilted her head away to hide her reddened cheeks. So cute.
Okay, no more distractions. Suletta quickly looked around to see if they were alone. They were.
Suletta inhaled and exhaled. It was time.
"Miorine-san."
"Yes?"
"Could you help me with something?"
Miorine turned back to her, a puzzled look on her face.
"What is it?"
"Can you help me up?"
Miorine was still confused but instantly rose to assist. She pulled the footrests aside so Suletta could put her feet down then held her hand out. Suletta took it, braced herself, and began to stand up. Miorine quickly slipped her other hand behind her back to stabilize her as she rose to her full height. The easy part was done.
Miorine took a step towards the bench, assuming that was Suletta's end point, but Suletta gently tugged her hand back and shook her head.
"Can you just stay right there for a moment?"
Miorine looked even more bewildered, and at this point even a bit suspicious, but nodded.
Okay Suletta.
You can do this.
First, she shuffled a bit to the side, away from her wheelchair. Then she leaned her full strength on Miorine's hand, stepped one foot back, and started to lower her body. Miorine flinched, but seeing Suletta looked… mostly in control of herself, she simply held her hand tightly and let her descend. Halfway down, Suletta leaned her free hand on the bench for more stability. Which she desperately needed as her legs were shaking insanely hard.
But.
She made it down.
She was breathing heavily and shaking and felt awful. But she did it.
One knee on the ground. Miorine's hand in hers.
And then she saw the gears in Miorine's head finally click into place.
"Miorine-san."
"Eh?"
Suletta had never seen Miorine speechless before. Very cute. Deer-In-The-Headlights Miorine was filed in the back of her mind along with the others.
"I… um…"
Oh god. She was here and doing this and she had a whole thing planned out, but she was so tired and nervous and happy that she couldn't remember any of what she wanted to say–
Suletta reached into her pocket and squeezed the tiny box holding her future and took a deep breath.
"Miorine. I… I know how silly this looks, especially after everything. B-but I wanted to do it right. W–" Suletta's hand is completely shaking, but she pulls the ring box out and squeezes her eyes shut.
"W-w–w-willyoumarrymeandbemywife?????"
Silence.
Oh god she really messed up didn't she oh jeez oh jeez Miorine is probably pissed and is going to say something about how they're already engaged and–
Suletta looks up. Miorine is tomato-red.
Finally she speaks–well, shouts.
" Is THIS what you were practicing the whole time?!"
Suletta was not prepared for that response.
"Um… yes?"
"You… You… stupid Mercurian! You put me through all that heartache for this?"
Okay yeah she messed up.
"I-I just wanted to do it properly," she tried to explain. Miorine just took the hand Suletta wasn't holding and screamed into it. God, she really, really messed up.
"So… is that a no?" Suletta meekly asked.
" Of course it's a yes, you idiot! " Miorine is already diving into her arms. Suletta yelps and nearly drops the ring when she topples back onto her butt, but she holds onto both it and Miorine for dear life.
It's the happiest and dirtiest she's ever been in her whole life.
She's still holding her fiancée (fiancée – not because of some silly school rule but because Suletta asked her and she said yes ) when Miorine goes oddly still, then pulls back. Her eyes are narrowed. It’s the same determined look she gets when headed into a business meeting, but there’s an oddly… devious gleam in her eye.
"You know, Suletta," she begins in a peculiar tone that she can’t place but sends a shiver up her spine, "for being so fixated on doing things ‘the right way’, it's surprising you'd propose without having even kissed your fiancée." And then Miorine's hand slides up her side and her brain completely short-circuits.
"Ki-ki-ki-ki- kiss?!" It was Suletta's turn to turn bright red. Oh god she really wasn't prepared for this turn of events. She's staring at Miorine's lips now– is she allowed to stare there? Kissing, she wants to but, oh jeez, "I– but– k-k-kissing is meant for husbands and wives to do after they g-get married, i-isn't it?"
Miorine snorts out a giggle and smiles so wide it wrinkles her eyes. "My silly tanuki," she says fondly, then leans in and joins their lips.
Oh. Okay, this is the happiest and dirtiest she's ever been in her life.
Her lips are soft, so soft. The softest thing she's ever felt in her life. And her hand is firmly planted in her back in a way she absolutely finds way way way too exciting. And god she's can feel her whole body against hers too and she's so warm and so close, and–
Miorine pulls back. Flustered, red, and the happiest and dirtiest Suletta's ever seen her too. She hides her face in the crook of Suletta's shoulder. "There," she says, "properly done now."
Suletta holds her as they sit in the dirt, amongst the greens and reds and yellows, together. And that’s all that matters.
***
“Soooooo, does this mean I get to be an aunt soon?”
“E-Eri!” “Oh shut up!”
