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Airi loathed Shizuku.
Okay, maybe ‘loathe’ is pushing it a bit too much. Too much , actually. She liked Shizuku. She would admit that to any paparazzi, managerial position, fellow idol, and executive. Basically, she would admit that to anyone who can and will spread rumors because those people can make other people believe them. The only thing she was having a hard time doing was admitting it to herself. But maybe ‘like’ was another futile word that doesn’t fully encapsulate what she felt towards Shizuku.
If someone close to Airi would ask her, the most perfect way to describe what she feels towards Shizuku in a not-like and not-loathe type of way would be Shizuku has an aura about her that I just can’t point out and it’s because of that aura that I’m drawn to her. She just walks with stars and glowing lights following her and I keep following her and whenever she dances, it’s not even that graceful yet but she has a promise and I want to see that promise be fulfilled. I want to be there for her and I want her to be there for me when we both improve as idols because I know we can achieve amazing things together. And I must mean something to her, right? I saw her smiling at the handkerchief I gave her and she always smiles when she looks at me. That means something! Is this a weird way to say about a member of our rival group? Guys, stop looking at me like that!
She just decided to put that somewhat absurd and senseless thought (according to her, at least) in a steel box, lock it with golden and wired chains, and bury it in the deepest depths of the back of her mind which apparently wasn’t deep enough since she keeps thinking about her.
It was all sprawling and sometimes, it doesn’t even make sense but one thing is for certain is that she wants to see more of Shizuku and she wants to prove herself to Shizuku.
A laugh that Airi would absolutely deem but not admit as heavenly interrupted her train of thought, forcing her to look up, and was met with curious eyes and small smiles, and light blue hair flowing almost breathtakingly behind her because of the ceiling fan dangerously near their booth (Airi needs to talk to the architect and engineer that decided to put that spinning killing machine so near the table).
“What’s so funny?” She grumbled at the person in front of her, the sullen look on her own face only a facade she knew how to put up.
“You were making a funny face,” giggled Shizuku, her elbow on the table, propping up her chin as she stared at Airi with probably the warmest smile Airi has ever seen.
She groaned again before picking up another piece of potato chip, avoiding the steely yet gentle gaze the other idol was giving her.
“Do you like the chips?” Shizuku asks again before taking a sip of her milkshake. “I liked the flavor of cheese they chose.”
“Great chips,” Airi replies quietly, still avoidant and maybe slightly embarrassed. She wasn’t going to admit the last one though. “Very crunchy.”
For someone who claims is incredibly good at ad-libbing, that performance was not very indicative of that.
If there was an awkward silence, Airi must be the only one hearing it because from the corner of her eye, she sees Shizuku looking at her with this specific look she can’t possibly begin to describe and whenever she used that look, something unexplainable happens in the muscle behind her ribcage. One of her fellow QT members calls it “Shizuku Smile: Destroyer of Worlds, Taker of Hearts”. If you ask her, it was a terrible and definitely uncreative description, reminiscent of a bad light novel title and plot, and she strongly argues that even her younger self and her baby sister have more creativity than that but Airi fears that her fellow member might be right about the title. At least, the latter part of it.
“Did you know how much I enjoy hanging out with you, Airi-chan?” Airi pretends she doesn’t feel any warmth stretching down her neck when she hears the truth enclosed in Shizuku’s words. “We never get to hang out ever since our intensive training started. It’s nice they’re allowing us to do this.”
“We only agreed to do this because we know it would help boost our group’s image, not because we want to hang out,” Airi, suddenly all idol mode, directly responded but the small and hopeful smile written on Shizuku’s lips quivered slightly and it was all it took that made Airi crumble.
“And I guess I also enjoy hanging out with you,” she said quickly and quietly and looked away faster than the spinning fan above them, pretending once more that there is warmth spreading all over the skin of her face. “Don’t tell the members of my group that though! They’ll tease me badly!”
She can almost hear the grin on Shizuku’s face widen.
With Cheerful*Days and QT slowly but surely growing audiences and forming formidable fanbases, Airi heard both of the group’s managers discussing what to do next in order to garner more people. One of them suggested that both of the groups should be in a talk show together but the other argued that it was a bit too early for such newbie idols to be on television. Airi frowned at that but continued listening. It was until one of them suggested that two members, one from both groups, do a publicity stunt together. Like two friends having a fun day off.
Airi scoffed at the memory of that conversation. Yeah, a fun day off.
It was approved not sooner than a day later and imagine Airi’s surprise when she was paired up with Shizuku. Technically, she wasn’t even surprised. Shizuku was the most popular member of her group so it made sense for her to do the publicity stunt, and as for her, the people at her agency kept forcing her to do solo activities. Still, the fact remains, and at the end of the day, she was doing a publicity stunt with Shizuku.
The same Shizuku that was running around every untouched corner of her mind ever since she went ahead and challenged her, the same Shizuku she envied but still would stop at nothing to see her succeed.
Surely, nothing will go wrong. Definitely. Certainly. Abso-fucking-lutely.
“How have you been?” Airi asked in an appropriately animated manner once she spotted a flash of white in the distance that was too poorly concealed for it to be even considered stealthy. Time to stunt that publicity, she supposed. “I heard you and your fellow members would be doing a tour show of one of the most popular onsens in Kyoto.”
Shizuku, catching up with what just happened, nodded eagerly. “I’m a bit excited about that! It’s not every day we get to go on a free trip to Kyoto and visit some onsens.”
Airi internally rolled her eyes at how she seemed entirely good at this already. “You’re gone for a week, right?”
Nodding once more, Shizuku propped both of her hands on the table. “Yeah. I wish QT would come so you and I can hang out more. We don’t get a lot of time together anymore.”
Ignoring that nagging feeling bubbling in her throat and promptly forgetting about the new very much unwanted but definitely uninvited guest, Airi laughed quietly before looking down and playing with the straw of her shake, careful to not let the flashing camera light catch a glimpse of even the smallest frown. “I have another variety show I need to be on. They already gave me my schedule for the week and I want to do this for my group. It’s the only thing the agency thinks I’m good at doing apparently.”
Airi ignored the inflection and waver in her voice and certainly hid the disappointment in it.
Airi saw Shizuku’s eyebrows dip ever so slightly, an incredibly rare frown from her; it wasn’t even a frown but Airi caught it anyway, and it looked like she was about to say something but if she was, she must have quickly decided against it. A good decision, Airi might add since they have, well, guests .
Airi shook her head, concluding that she must have been imagining things because why would Shizuku frown at her? So, she smiled at Shizuku. She couldn’t tell if it was genuine or not. “What’s next on the agenda anyway?” She asked as she whipped up her phone to check their schedule.
“Do you want to go to the zoo after this? With me?”
Airi raised an eyebrow when she caught the sudden determination in Shizuku’s request and if she thought that if she looked any closer than she currently does, she would probably see the smallest tint of flush etched on Shizuku’s cheeks. That’s just her though, not actually hopeful thinking.
She shook her head again, ridding herself of those thoughts.
She double-checked their routine for the day and said, “We don’t have that on our schedule. It says here we need to go shopping for clothes after lunch. I was thinking we could probably buy matching pendants so that—”
“Go on a date with me.”
It was quiet enough for the paparazzi to not have heard him but loud enough to elicit a reaction from Airi.
If Airi held a needle, she would have dropped it and there would be no loud and reverberating clink spreading throughout the nearly empty restaurant. But she wasn’t holding a needle and she hadn’t dropped anything but there was a ping, it was quiet but it was ringing, and it persisted and suffused her ears. Suddenly, she was awfully aware of the fact that her senses were yelling at her, loud and clear, and her heart kept stopping yet beating endlessly— it was the stupidest oxymoron ever, one that could potentially kill a college literature professor, if you ask Airi but there was no other way to describe it.
She blinked once, twice, and looked at Shizuku, not exactly trusting the surprised look on her face to extract an accurate answer. Shizuku’s lower lip was quivering, it wasn’t noticeable but it was Airi so she did notice. It was obvious she was awaiting Airi’s answer if the unsure eyes and fidgeting fingers were any indication.
Go on a date with me.
That must mean something, right?
“Go on a date…” Airi repeated and she felt the warmth on her neck from earlier spread throughout her face. “...with you?”
Shizuku let out an embarrassed laugh.
“With me,” the idol nodded meekly as she whispered, and for the first time since they arrived, Shizuku was the one who looked away but not without Airi catching the flustered look etched on her face.
Right now, the paparazzi must be thinking both of them were talking about boys.
Stop being so cute! is what Airi would have said if she had half the confidence Shizuku just displayed.
“Why?” It was truly a bad answer and she wanted to slam her head on the table the moment she said it.
“I want to hang out with you more,” Shizuku started twiddling her fingers on the desk, refusing to look at Airi as she answered the question. “And I like getting to spend time with you alone. Without any idol stuff and paparazzi following us.”
“I like you,” Airi blurted out.
If it were any other circumstances, she would have relished Shizuku’s reaction.
She did not know where that one came from. What she does know is that her face is heating up and she wants to sew her mouth shut painfully and permanently because, from the looks of it, it doesn’t know what it’s saying. Also, Shizuku’s face has gone through several phases of shock and Airi can’t help but find her facial expressions cute.
Damn you, Hinomori! Always getting the upper hand over me!
Instead of acting all embarrassed and stupid, Airi cleared her throat but that did nothing to alleviate the warmth on her face; it got worse actually because Shizuku was now looking at her with expectant and wide eyes boring into her own, and a small smile on her lips. She was waiting and luckily for Airi, she was patient.
“You like me?” Shizuku asked, her smile widening now and Airi grunted again, looking away.
She all but groaned, and she looked at Shizuku again.
“It’s hard not to like you.”
There, she finally admitted it. Maybe it wasn’t that hard after all.
(Or maybe Airi was just stubborn and she doesn’t want to confront her feelings because she’s having a hard time discerning her inferiority complex from her determination to be better but other than that, she can safely say she is very much attracted to Shizuku. Just not out loud though.)
“That’s cool.”
Guess Airi’s not the only one struggling with words.
“Cool,” Airi nervously laughed.
See, the thing is it would be easy for Airi to be attracted to Shizuku and she firmly doubts that she isn’t the only one. The attraction, the attention, and the astounding amount of appeal were always there the first time she saw Shizuku and she can argue that many people would feel the same way. But what really made Airi think and feel more is their synchronicity and their complementarity. On that fateful day she oh-so confidently declared their oh-so unforgettable rivalry, there was already that connection that Airi felt burning between them, one that she couldn’t possibly sever, even if she tries to cut it with some shears of fate.
Shizuku was a competition but she was more than that. To Airi, she was something else. That something else is what she was still trying to decipher.
She had never signed up for this. She just wanted to be an impactful idol but Shizuku appeared, all nervous and unsure, and suddenly, she wanted to be an impactful idol to everyone, including Shizuku.
Why? She doesn’t know yet but this is the first time someone has driven her determination and challenged her fully and she does feel like she is getting better.
But one thing is for sure: Airi likes Shizuku.
(Fucking inevitable, if she thinks about it now.)
What are they going to do next? Well, that’s a problem for future Airi and Shizuku.
“So, that date to the zoo?” Airi brought up the topic again once she made sure the paparazzi went away.
Shizuku hummed, finishing the last of her milkshake.
“Ueno is probably still open at this hour and I think they added new animals,” Airi said this time, masking her nervousness with a small smile but even then, she felt her lips trembling slightly. “Do you still want to go with me?”
Shizuku gave her answer in the form of the toothiest smile Airi has ever seen and Airi, oh, she could get used to seeing that for a while.
“Maybe after we get the matching pendants.”
Yeah, definitely a problem for future Airi and Shizuku.